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WORDS BY TOM WARD - PHOTOGRAPHY BY JOBE LAWRENSON & DAN MATTHEWS - ILLUSTRATIONS BY BEN MOUNSEY

To live fast and die young is the ultimate roisterer’s epigram. But while we’re fully signed up to the first bit, it’s the early bath we’re less enamoured with. This is the hedonist’s guide togetting away with it. For those about to detox, we salute you

LEARN HOW TO CLEAN UP YOUR ACT AND GIVE BURNOUT THE FINGER

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Live AidRock god moves don’t come easy. PT and fitness author Tim Walker shares three exercises that’ll make your stage antics look more ‘dynamic thrash’ and less ‘epic fail’

“As anyone who’s ever sold zillions of records knows, drugs are everywhere. I indulged in alcohol, acid, heroin and cocaine. I was afraid of needles, so I snorted everything. There comes a point where you eventually realise how hideous that is to your body. “Getting clean gave me two extra hours a day, so I took up jogging, martial arts, boxing and weightlifting. At one point I was lifting 160kg, which is pretty good considering I’m a 71kg vegan. That was until a tendon slipped off one of my hands around two years ago, and I was forced to lower the weights.“Like anyone, I focus on different areas on different days. On Thursdays I like to train chest and triceps, which will be incline dumbbell press drop-sets with about 22kg or 27kg dumbbells, and some flat bench press stuff. “When we’re gearing up to go on tour I’ll add in some cardio. That could be anything from a Muay Thai routine to boxing drills. I’ll try to do 25-60 minutes each day. I’ll also do HIIT. Often, I’ll do shoulders for two minutes, then kick the bag furiously for one minute. “I don’t think I’m missing out on anything by being a vegan – I have way more energy than my meat-eating counterparts. If I do need more protein, I avoid the calorie-laden powders with added sugar and go for vegan brands like Xango or Vega. “Food-wise I have a George Foreman grill on the tour bus, and I’ll make salad with kale, carrots, cabbage and lots of greens. Instead of dressing I’ll have apple cider vinegar and a little amino acid, which tastes like soy sauce. Then I’ll chuck in a vegan burger, with some avocado to get some good fats. “I still get a high on stage, but a natural high will always beat a synthetic one.”

After years of taking everyintoxicant possible, 58-year-old Def Leppard guitarist Phil Collen hit the weights to start rewinding the clock

Leppard Changes Its Spots

Rockstar Munchies #1Elvis’s Peanut Butter, Banana and Bacon Sandwich The King was renowned for his monarchical appetite, in particular a fondness for these sweet and salty sandwiches, lovingly fried in butter. Toothsome though we’re sure they were, it’s tempting to suspect that such a habit may have indirectly contributed to Elvis’ death in the lavatory, aged 42 and weighing 19 stone. But if you’re feeling all shook up and need some gustatory succour to quash the blues, nutritionist Hayley Pedrick has crafted a more wholesome version that will love you slender.

METHOD01 Bacon has been getting a bad rep of late, but that’s the least of your worries here. Limit your intake to two grilled slices per sandwich and you’ll be fine. Key to redeeming this snack is swapping the peanut butter for organic raw walnut butter. It’s low in sugar and high in iron, giving you the energy to rock around the clock.

02 Spread the walnut butter over your slices of seeded bread and sprinkle with cinnamon powder. Along with the slow-release carbs, this nutritional angel dust will help balance blood sugar and suppress appetite.

03 Add the sliced banana and grilled bacon, then fry your sandwich in organic virgin olive oil. Coconut oil has its merits but this is still your best fat for frying due to high levels of monosaturated fats (great for energy and resistant to oxidisation) and relatively low levels of saturates, helping you avoid the Heartburn Hotel.

INGREDIENTS(SERVES 1)• CARLY’S ORGANIC RAW

WALNUT BUTTER, 3TBSP • RYE & SUNFLOWER SEED

BREAD, SLICE • CINNAMON, PINCH • LEAN BACON,

2 RASHERS• A BANANA• ORGANIC VIRGIN OLIVE

OIL, 1TBSP

A LITTLE LESS SAT FAT AND A LITTLE MORE

WALNUT BUTTER PLEASE

FINE-TUNE YOUR HEALTH TO AVOID

AN EARLY ENCORE

ON STAGE THE GUITAR SMASHBACKSTAGE SLEDGEHAMMERA perennial favourite of virtuoso guitarists from Pete Townshend to Kurt Cobain, a memorable axe slam requires a powerful core, strong triceps and a lenient insurance policy. Fortunately, the correct execution can be honed through sledgehammer swings in the gym. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, hands close to the end of the handle, then swing the hammer 15 times diagonally from the right, then 15 from the left. Do four sets with 30 seconds’ rest in between.

ON STAGE THE STAGE DIVEBACKSTAGE BOX JUMPThe most dangerous part of a stage dive is not landing in the crowd, but missing it altogether, à la Iggy Pop. The key is explosive energy, and a plyometric exercise like the two-footed box jump will help you build maximum spring with minimal impact. Stand in front of a box of manageable height, then bend your knees and draw your arms back, keeping a straight torso. Do three sets of 10 jumps, aiming to move forward, not upward, throwing your arms forward for momentum.

ON STAGE THE TV TOSSBACKSTAGE THE DEADLIFTWhen kicking back after a gig, it’s only natural to want to throw your television out of the window. Mastering the deadlift, which helps build strength in both the lower and upper body, will make child’s play of acting up. First, take an overhand grip on a barbell, knees bent, back straight. Then squeeze your glutes as you stand up, pushing your hips forward to bring the bar to waist height. Do three sets of four reps to help avoid injury and embarrassment.

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Rockstar Munchies #2

Anatomy Of Excess

SAFEGUARD YOUR IRON MANBlack Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi battled – and beat – lymphoma aged 64. The causes are myriad, but spending thousands of hours with an electric guitar hanging by the family jewels isn’t great for groinal wellbeing. Domestic gods aren’t off the hook, either: resting a laptop on your lap causes similar problems, so cut it out. Skintight leather trousers are also out of the question – whether you’re trying to avoid cancer or not. (University Hospital Basel)

CROWDSURF AND TURF OUT TINNITUS An exploding drum kit left The Who’s Pete Townshend with this serious complaint, but most cases are less rock ’n’ roll, with 63% of sufferers found to be lacking in vitamin B12. The good news is that methlcobalamin – a form of B12 – is adept at repairing nerve health, reducing the effects. The even better news is that lobster boasts 23% of your RDA, so you’re better off calling room service than trashing your hotel room. (American Journal of Otolaryngology)

LIVER LITTLE LONGER WITH TWO LIVENERSCancer of the liver might have seen off Bowie, but the fight continues. And the biggest secret weapon is already an essential component of your hangover ritual, with coffee drinkers reducing the risk of hepatocellular carcinoma – the most common form of liver cancer – by up to 50%. You needn’t turn into a jittery wreck, either: two cups a day should do the trick. (Clinical Gastroenterology and Hepatology)

SQUASH INSOMNIA IN ITS TRACKSIn hindsight, it’s clear that Michael Jackson, a pathological insomniac (among other things), should have reached for pumpkin seeds instead of anesthetics to salve his lack of shut-eye. Packed with 206% of your RDA of sleep-boosting amino acid tryptophan, all they’re missing is a carb to transport the good stuff to the brain. We suggest you rewind to our rehashed, rye and sunflower seed Elvis sandwich. (University of Maryland Medical Center)

A lifetime of indulgence takes its toll, as the litany of rock’n’roll casualties grimly illustrates. Pick up our hell raiser’s first aid kitand skip any blood on the tracks

SOUND CHECK YOUR BLOOD SUGAR LEVELSLimiting the booze isn’t the coolest way to beat diabetes, but it could have helped drummer Mick Fleetwood avoid the disease. Try taking up spinning: it activates three of your largest muscles – the quads, hamstrings and glutes – meaning you’ll continue to torch calories afterwards. High-intensity training is also proven to steady blood glucose for up to three days post-workout. Easy riding. (Joslin Diabetes Center)

Jack White’s Homemade Guacamole With his alabaster pallor and rockist eccentricities, the former White Stripes frontman might seem an unlikely champion of nutritional health. But as last year’s leaking of his backstage rider requirements revealed, the axeman knows his onions – or more accurately, avocados. Having specified a bowl of fresh, homemade guacamole, White went on to explain with surgical precision how this should be made. Here, nutritionist Rhiannon Lambert assesses the spoils.

METHOD01 Halve the avocados and reserve the stones. Cut the tomatoes and peppers into chunks, then finely chop the coriander and onion. Avocado’s high vitamin E content, plus vitamin C-rich tomatoes boosts collagen to improve your ‘weathered’ appearance. The potassium in avocado also aids recovery after a session on the sauce.

02 Mash all ingredients together in a bowl, leaving large chunks of avocado. As well as its ability to increase antioxidant absorption, the glutathione in avocado teams up with sulphur in the onions to scrub the liver clean, while the flavonoids in onion and coriander help you to combat infection.

03 Add salt and pepper to taste, then the avocado stones and lime juice to keep it fresh. Refrigerate before serving within the hour. The B vitamins, iron and zinc in avocados boost pre- show energy levels, while the endorphin- releasing capsaicin in pepper equals on-point guitar shredding stamina.

INGREDIENTS(SERVES 6)• ORGANIC HAAS AVOCADOS, 8• CORIANDER, BUNCH• VINE-RIPENED TOMATOES, 8• YELLOW ONION, ½• SERRANO PEPPERS, 4, DE-VEINED • LIME, ½

AVOID AN ICKY HEART-THUMP LIKE A GARAGE

ROCK REVIVALIST

PLAY HARD LIKE A ROCKSTAR, RECOVER LIKE AN ALL-STAR

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Nutribullets To The HeadRock stars don’t do juice bars, but smartones know that vodka for brunch ain’tso clever, either. That’s why we designedthree bespoke cocktails with the JuiceDoctor and Erik Lorincz, head bartender at The Savoy, for a night filled with swaggerthat’s consequence-free come morning

METHOD01 Mix everything with a hand blender, then add ice and shake hard. The chlorophyll in the spinach will bind leftover toxins, preparing them for elimination, while the agave sugar restores blood sugar to normal levels. 02 Strain the mixture over ice into a rocks glass, dusting the glass with matcha to garnish. Epigallocatechin gallate is what you’re after here – an antioxidant that supports the liver after you’ve put it through the gauntlet.

METHOD01 Whizz all ingredients with ice in a hand blender. Don’t be afraid of the beet: it contains massive amounts of nitrates, which work to increase blood flow to the liver, helping it ‘pre-toxify’. Transfer to a shaker and give it some.02 Strain the mixture over ice in a highball glass, then garnish half the rim with salt. If needed, top up with more lime and some coconut water: it helps to pre-empt the inevitable electrolyte drain post-drinking.

METHOD01 Crush the ginger in a shaker, add all the ingredients except for the bitters, and shake hard. Ginger is crucial thanks to the compound curcumin, which soothes inflammation, limiting your soreness the next day. 02 Fine strain into a martini glass and garnish with the bitters. The lemons are key: they help redress the body’s pH balance, plus their citric acid combines with the ethyl alcohol to neutralise most of the booze’s harmful effects before it hits your bloodstream.

INGREDIENTS• GREY GOOSE VODKA, 50ML• SPINACH LEAVES, 10• LEMON JUICE, 30ML• GINGER, 1 INCH, GRATED• AGAVE NECTAR, 15ML• MATCHA TEA, 1TBSP

INGREDIENTS• OCHO TEQUILA REPOSADO, 45ML• BEETROOT, ¼, COOKED• CLOUDY APPLE JUICE, 60ML• COCONUT WATER, 30ML• LIME JUICE, 30ML• GINGER, 1 INCH, GRATED• AGAVE NECTAR, 15ML

INGREDIENTS• CHIVAS REGAL 12 YEARS OLD, 50ML• LEMON JUICE, 30ML• SUGAR SYRUP, 15ML• GINGER, 1 INCH• TURMERIC, PINCH• FRESH EGG WHITE, ½• ANGOSTURA BITTERS, 3 DROPS

GREEN ARNOLD PALMERDON’T MISS A BEAT

FIRE BALL

ON THE LIQUID DIET? THERE’S MUCH MORE THAN WHISKY IN THESE JARS

Train Fast, Die OldCaning it for 20 years before retiring to a penitent life of lentils, yoga and abstinence might be the template, but we just think it’s bad planning. Do this bespoke vivification circuit after a session (taking a 30-second breather between each move) to undo the damage

1\ BODYWEIGHT WINDMILL 5 ROUNDS OF 60 SECONDS’ WORKFeet slightly wider than hip-width, hold your left hand straight up, and reach your right toward your left foot (A). Keep your arms in a straight line. Engage your core and reverse back to the start. (B). Alternate and repeat for the minute.The benefit As well as ‘sweating out the toxins’, repetitive, large muscle movements promote the flow of oxygen to the organs working hardest to self-cleanse – namely your liver.

3\ STAR-JUMP JOGGER 5 ROUNDS OF 60 SECONDS’ WORKIf this move feels like you’re whirling like a dervish, then you’re doing it right. Start by jogging on the spot at 70% for 30 seconds (A). Switch to star jumps for the next 30, making sure your arms are well above your head on each one (B). Keep pumping, then rest for half a minute.The benefit Alcohol is a depressant that slows brain activity. Vigorous cardio releases endorphins to make you feel better and help numb the pain.

2\ BURPEE PRESS CLIMBER 5 ROUNDS OF 60 SECONDS’ WORKGet into the press-up position and do two press-ups (A), then bring your knees up to your chest one at time for a count of six reps (B). Finally, jump up. Go at a steady pace for the minute, rest for 30 seconds, then go again.The benefit HIIT exercises fire your metabolism, handy when you consider that hungover workouts tend to burn carbs, rather than fat. It’ll tackle that late-night Dominos, essentially.

4\ LOW SQUAT TO SHOULDER PRESS 5 ROUNDS OF 60 SECONDS’ WORKReady for your final penance? With 12kg dumbbells in each hand, squat so your forearms are parallel with your shins (A). Power up to standing, driving through the legs and extending your hips to force the dumbbells up and overhead (B).The benefit A heavy session slows the metabolism, but this final move will keep your calorie burn going for up to 39 hours. So it’ll still be working tonight, should you be tempted to go out.

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