wp2 mmm realities of mothers in europe1

8/7/2019 Wp2 Mmm Realities of Mothers in Europe1

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RealitiesofMothersinEurope

AreportbyWorldMovementofMothersEurope(MMMEurope).

PreparedbyJoanStevens,JuliedeBergeyck&AnneClairedeLiedekerke

FAMILYPLATFORM(SSH20093.2.2Socialplatformonresearchforfamiliesa

family policies): funded by the European Unions 7th Framework Program

for18months(October2009 March2011).


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This report was produced by FAMILYPLATFORM.

FAMILYPLATFORM (SSH-2009-3.2.2 Social platform on research for families andfamily policies) is funded by the EUs 7th Framework Programme (1,400,000)and has a duration of 18 months (October 2009 March 2011).

The consortium consists of the following 12 organisations:

1) Technical University Dortmund (Coordinators)2) State Institute for Family Research, University of Bamberg3) Family Research Centre, University of Jyvskyl4) Austrian Institute for Family Studies, University of Vienna5) Demographic Research Institute, Budapest6) Institute of Social Sciences, University of Lisbon7) Department of Sociology and Social research, University of Milan-Bicocca8) Institute of International and Social Studies, Tallinn University

9) London School of Economics10) Confederation of Family Organisations in the European Union (COFACE),

Brussels11) Forum Delle Associazioni Familiari, Italy12) MMMEurope (Mouvement Mondial des Mres-Europe), Brussels

Contact [email protected] or visit http://www.familyplatform.eu for moreinformation.

This document is distributed under a Creative CommonsAttribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unportedlicence.

This allows copying, distribution and transmission, with the condition that it isproperly attributed, used for non-commercial purposes, and that no derivativeworks are created. The full legal code is available at:http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/legalcode .

Unless otherwise stated, the views expressed in this report donot necessarily reflect the views of the European Commiss

ion.


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TableofContents

Introduction......................................................................................................................................5

StatisticalSnapshotoftheMothersofEurope ................................................................................7

Chapter1TheTransitiontoMotherhood .....................................................................................9

Chapter2Mother'sConcernsfortheChild.................................................................................12 ConcernsfortheInfant ............................................................................................................. 12ConcernsfortheChildofPreSchoolAge................................................................................. 13

TheVitalConnection............................................................................................................. 14ConcernsforChildrenofObligatorySchoolAge ...................................................................... 16

Impactofparentalemploymentonchildren........................................................................ 16Noncorrespondencebetweenschooldayandworkday.................................................... 17

Flexible

and

Part

time

work

hours ....................................................................................... 17

Impactofparentalrelationshipsinadolescence.................................................................. 18Impactoffamilymealsonadolescentsubstanceabuse ...................................................... 19Parentsandadolescentdelinquentbehavior....................................................................... 19Competitionwiththescreen ................................................................................................ 20Summary............................................................................................................................... 20

Chapter3MothersEmploymentandFamilyLife.......................................................................21 WhatdoWomenwant?............................................................................................................ 22WhatdoMotherswant?........................................................................................................... 22TheRighttoWork,theRighttoCare........................................................................................ 25

UnpaidWork......................................................................................................................... 26GenderEquality......................................................................................................................... 27

Parentingexperienceenhancesmanagerialabilities ........................................................... 29LifeSatisfaction ......................................................................................................................... 29

Chapter4CoupleandFamilyRelationships................................................................................31 CoupleRelationships................................................................................................................. 31TransitiontoParenthood.......................................................................................................... 32FamilyRelationships&Satisfaction .......................................................................................... 32SingleMothers .......................................................................................................................... 33AgeingandMultigenerationalRelationships........................................................................... 34

Chapter5MothersandSociety...................................................................................................36 VoluntaryServiceintheCommunity ........................................................................................ 36Demography.............................................................................................................................. 36Fertility ...................................................................................................................... ................ 38

Chapter6RecommendationsandSuggestionsforFutureResearch..........................................40 RecommendationstoPolicyMakers ........................................................................................ 40SuggestionsforFutureResearch .............................................................................................. 42

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ANNEXI

PreliminaryReviewofthe2010SurveyofMothersinEurope.......................................................45 Background/Introduction.......................................................................................................... 45Methodology............................................................................................................................. 45

Results

Overview....................................................................................................................... 47

1.Profileofsurveyedmothers ............................................................................................. 472.Motherhoodopenquestions......................................................................................... 503.Wellbeingsatisfactionlevelasamother.......................................................................... 504.Familyrelationships.......................................................................................................... 535.Opinionofmothers........................................................................................................... 556.Retirement........................................................................................................................ 557.Intergenerationalandsocialnetworksofsupport ........................................................... 568.Timeuseofmothers......................................................................................................... 579.Keypolicymessages ......................................................................................................... 60

Summary ................................................................................................................................... 68Conclusions ............................................................................................................................... 69

ANNEXII

EuropeanAssociationsAidingintheSurveyofMothersinEurope................................................71 Bibliography....................................................................................................................................74

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Introduction

LiketodaysEuropeanUnion,theWorldMovementofMothershasitsrootsinthedevastation

of

World

War

II.

Mothers

gathered

in

Paris

to

pledge

their

support

and

efforts

to

the

construction of a peaceful Europe. Their organisation developed to the point that themovementunder itsoriginalname inFrench,MouvementMondialdesMres,becameoneofthe earliest civil society organisations to be accredited by the United Nations. Mothers sawthemselves as leaders, educators, and peacemakers not only in the elemental basic unit ofsociety,thefamily,butalsointheirneighbourhoodsandinthewidercommunity.Intheeyesofthe founding mothers, peaceful societies had to be built from the base upward, the processbeingenergisedbythecivilisingandorganisingenergyoftheworldsmothers.

ThearchivesoftheWorldMovementofMothers,commonlyreferredtobyitsFrenchacronym,MMM, contain a remarkable trove of materials witness to the vision and energy with which

these

mothers

have

been

engaged

in

the

cause

of

peace

building.

They

were

also

prodigious

networkers, issuing newsletters and questionnaires to their ever expanding membership, andreportingtheirfindingsatinternationalconferences1.

From the earliest days of the Movement, the Mothers gave their time freely, working asunremuneratedvolunteers.Tothisday,unpaidvolunteerserviceistheruleoftheorganisation.Itsvastmembershipanditsactiveleadersgiveofthemselvesforthepurposesofstrengtheningmothers in their family role and promoting the wellbeing and social sustainability of humansociety.

In 2003 the World Movement of Mothers created a permanent delegation to the EuropeanUnion in Brussels. This EU delegation has become MMMEurope, a partner in the European

Commissions Seventh Framework FAMILYPLATFORM project. Among its assignment is thechargetoreportonthesituationofmothersinEuropeandcriticallyreviewresearchonfamiliesfrom their point of view. MMMEuropes contribution is to ensure that the experientialknowledgeofEuropesmotherswouldbereflectedintheoutputofFAMILYPLATFORM.

InordertoconsultwithmothersacrossEurope,webeganwithexpertinterviewsandfollowedup by focus group discussions with mothers of different cultural and economic backgrounds.WethenlaunchedanonlinesurveyofmothersinEuropetolearntheirconcerns,prioritiesandrecommendations.Asofthetimeofwriting,over11,000mothersfromacrossEurope,whocan

1MMMs European and international surveys include the following: in 1982 MMM surveyed two thousand

mothers on the interchangeability and specificity of parental roles. The results became the basis of a studyday at the Palais de Luxembourg in Paris where delegates came from the United Nations, UNESCO

ministries of European states and NGOs. By 1989 the critical policy question was Who is minding the

education and development of children? Again the Mothers held an extended dialogue among their

membership resulting in a research report and conference. In 1993, following a UNESCO conference on

street children, MMM launched a survey of two thousand parents, adolescents, and children to explore the

meaning of parental presence and representation in the life of their children. The results were shared

with policy makers and civil society representations. The year 1997 marked the 50 th anniversary of the

World Movement ofMothers. MMM celebrated by presenting the results of a survey on the role of mothersin family health at a World Health Organization conference. In 1999, MMM presented the results of its

survey on unpaid work in the home at a UNESCO conference.

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bedescribedasactive,politicallyconcernedandeducated,haveenteredintodialoguewithus.Theirvoiceshaveprovidedastandardforcriticallyevaluatingthescientificandpolicyliteraturewehavereviewed.

The reviewed literature includes wellknown studies on family related topics funded by theEuropean Commission, the OECD, and the United Nations Economic Commission for Europe.OtherbibliographicalsourcesincludetheUNICEFInnocentireportsonthewellbeingofchildren,andtheUnitedNationsInstituteforSocialDevelopmentReportsonUnpaidCareWork.

For the issues whichseemed most important to mothers we went beyond these reports andconsultedotherresearchdisciplinesforgreaterunderstandingofunderlyingprocesses.

Amajorfindingofourcriticalreviewofgovernmentandacademic literature isthis:rarelyaremothersrecognisedasspecificanddistinctparticipantswithaspecial functionand identity.

Even more rarely are they given the opportunity to speak with their own voice on policy

mattersthatdirectlyaffectthem.

Ourconsultationhasextendedtomothers inEuropetheopportunitytospeakasmothersandbeheardacrossEurope.Thousandshaveresponded.Theirvoicesechothroughoutourreport.Therichnessoftheirmessagesinvitesdeepreflection.Wecalluponpolicymakersatalllevelstoopen channels for regular dialogue, to listen,and topay attention towhatEuropes mothershavetosay.

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StatisticalSnapshotoftheMothersofEurope

TheMothersofEurope

WhoarethemothersofEurope?Wheredotheylive?Whatdoweknowabouttheirlives?Whatis important to them? With these initial questions we began our investigation by queryingofficialEUsources.

Ifonedefinesamotherasawomanwhohasgivenbirthtooradoptedandrearedoneormorechildren, there are surprisingly few statistics that would indicate how many mothers thereactuallyareandwherethey live inEurope.Herearetheestimationswereceivedfromofficialsources:

Eurostat:

HelpfulresearchersatEurostatestimatedanEU25totalof87millionmothers,age15orolder,withchildrenlivinginthesamehousehold2.

Seventyonepercentoftheseestimatedtotalmothersresideinsixcountries:Italy(11.9million),Germany(11.8million),Spain(9.9million),France(9.9million),UK(9.8million)andPoland(8.5million).

The number of mothers whose children have grown up or no longer lived with them forwhateverreasoncannotbeestimatedfromEurostatdata.

Eurofound:ResearchersatEurofound interviewedasampleofapproximately20,200adultwomenduring

2007fortheEuropeanQualityofLifeSurveypublishedin2009.Thesampleconsistedof500or

morewomenineachEUcountry.OnequestionaskedofeachwomanwasHowmanychildren

ofyourowndoyouhave?Seventysixpercentofwomenreportedhavingoneormorechildren

oftheirown.

To help construct a profile of mothers in Europe, Eurofound provided unweighted response

countsforpertinentinterviewquestions.Thesedatadonottellushowmanymothersthereare

inEurope,buttheyprovidethebasisforafirstestimateoftheproportionofwomenwhoare

mothers and the number of children they have. Other questions were asked of the women

interviewed. While responses to these questions do not necessarily apply to those who are

mothers,theydoprovideasuggestiveinitialestimationofastatisticalprofile3&4:

2 Sweden and Denmark provided no data on which estimates could be made. A mother for the Eurostat

estimate is an adult woman aged 15 or older in a household including children. No other criterion for

identifying a mother is available in Eurostat household surveys.3 The Eurofound data are unweighted responses aggregated across the total sample of women interviewed.

At the time of this writing, percentages were available only for the total sample, but Eurofound has offered

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ProportionofmothersinEurofoundsample(interviewedWomenwhohavechildrenof

theirown)

o 76%

Proportionofmothersbynumberofchildren

o 19% have one child, 34% have 2 children, 14% have 3 children, 5% have 4

children,and4%have5childrenormore.

o Averagenumberofchildrenpermotherinthesampleis1.545.

Ageofwomeninterviewed

o 12%areagedbetween1824,18%arebetween2534,27%arebetween3549,

22%arebetween5064and22%are65orover.

o Medianageofthesampleis51.00years,meanageis52.31years.

Couplerelationsofwomeninterviewed

o 64%aremarriedorlivingwithpartner,7%areseparatedordivorced,13%are

widowed,16%nevermarriedanddonotlivewithpartner.

Employmentofwomeninterviewed

o 38%workasemployee,oremployer/selfemployed,2%employedbutonleave

forchildcareorothercause,24%areretired,20%arefulltimehomemaker,6%

are in school, 5% are unemployed, 2% are unable to work due to longterm

illness.

Highesteducationcompletedofwomeninterviewed

o 19% primary school, 21% lower secondary, 35% higher secondary, 7% post

secondary,17%firsttertiarydegree,1%advancedtertiarydegree.

Voluntaryserviceactivityofwomeninterviewed

o 10% of interviewed mothers performed voluntary work weekly, 24%

occasionallyormoreoften.

Migrationbackgroundofwomeninterviewed

o 6%reportatleastoneparentborninanotherEUcountry.

o 5%reportatleastoneparentborninanonEUcountry.

to help MMME with further analysis of the data collected for the purpose of producing an improved

statistical profile of mothers in Europe.4 For comparison with the MMM Europes European Survey of Mothers sample, see p46 of this report.5 This estimate is somewhat low because all responses over 5 were counted as 5.

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Chapter1TheTransitiontoMotherhood

Aspartofherfemalebiology,awoman isremindedregularlyof thebirthgivingpossibilityof

herbody;thuseverywomanneedstotakesomekindofstanceonthisquestion(Sevn,2005:464). Some women take a decision early in life to remain childless, thinking perhaps of thenecessityofconstantengagementwiththechildandhavingadifferentpriorityinlife6.Others"drift into childlessness through a series of contingent decisions" (REPRO, 2009: 49), usuallyinvolvingpostponementofchildbearing.

Awoman'sdecision topostponechildbearingcan involve factorsofcompletinganeducation,finding a job, and establishing a stable couple relationship (Billari, 2006). If she has notcompleted her educational preparation, she might think that the course of study may notcombinewellwithmaternity,ortheopportunitytostudy,ifinterrupted,mayneverberegained,becausesomeeducationalprogrammesarenotaseasilyaccessibletoolderwomen.Inasociety

where

economic

independence

is

increasingly

required

of

a

woman,

the

price

of

pregnancy

before completing an education and obtaining employment may present too much risk tosome7.

A woman in Europe is usually able to choose the time of pregnancy and does so with herpartner;butifthedecisionisnotreflectedonbeforehandshewillfaceitafterconception.Shewillthenmeditateonthevalueofthelifeofthechildformingwithinherandthechangesthatwill come into her life. If the couple relationship is put under pressure by the coming child,especially iftheconceptionwasnotajointdecision,a lackofcommitmentonthepartof thefathermaycausehimtorupturetherelationshipandabandontheresponsibility.Insuchacaseor if her other prerequisites have not been fulfilled, she may decide to terminate thepregnancy8.

Butifshechoosestocarrythebabytoterm,itisbecause,onbalance,thebabyiswanted9.Thechoice to become amother in a context ofpersonal difficulty is an affirmation of strength,

determination,anddesiretooffercareforanother.Intheend,establishingtheprimordialbonds

ofloveandconnectionistheultimategoaloftheirmothering...[alongwith]asenseofpurpose,

validation,andorder(Edin&Kefalas,2005:185).Intheextremecaseofabandonmentbyhercompanion,tocarrythepregnancytotermisseenbysomeasanactofvalour(Edin&Kefalas2005: 142; Lardellier, 2009: 54). Such an act of valour is enabled by government support forchildrenandsinglemothers,andbyamoreacceptingsocietalattitude.

IntheEU27countries,themajorityofbabiesareborntoparentswhoareinacommittedcouple

relationship (Eurofound EQLS II, 2010: fig 2, p14). Most women (and men) realise that

6 According to Lohmann et al. 2009, p30: "Of women between 15-39 years in EU-27 countries, on average

9.6% expressed the desire to have no children, with the highest percentage of 20% of women in Finland

being thus inclined."7See Chapter 5 for a discussion of the consequences of postponing childbearing.

8 In EU-27 countries in 2008, 1,207,646 women chose this alternative, according to IPFE statistics.9In EU-27 countries in 2008, 5,427,099 babies were born. In 2009 births declined by 74,000. Eurostat:http://epp.eurostat.ec.europa.eu/tgm/table.do?tab=table&init=1&plugin=1&language=en&pcode=tps001

11.

9
http://epp.eurostat.ec.europa.eu/tgm/web/_download/Eurostat_Table_tps00111HTMLDesc.htmhttp://epp.eurostat.ec.europa.eu/tgm/web/_download/Eurostat_Table_tps00111HTMLDesc.htmhttp://epp.eurostat.ec.europa.eu/tgm/web/_download/Eurostat_Table_tps00111HTMLDesc.htmhttp://epp.eurostat.ec.europa.eu/tgm/web/_download/Eurostat_Table_tps00111HTMLDesc.htm


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parenthood will entail selfsacrifice, and so they choose the time after making preparation.Becausechildbearingwilloftenhaveacost in termsofwages foregoneandemploymentsetaside if only temporarily, there may be feelings of ambivalence connected with maternity(Sevn, 2005). Motherhood is undertaken because the mother feels that, along with thesacrifice,shewillberewardedwithhappinessinraisingherchild(Billari,2008)10.

Intheonlinesurveyof2010bytheMouvementMondialdesMres(MMMEurope),mothersinEuropewereasked,Ifyouweretalkingtoawomanwho ispregnantwithherfirstchild,howwould you describewhat it is like to transition into being amother? See how some of themothersrespondintheirownvoice(SurveyofMothersinEurope,2010):

It is the achievement of an enormous project! It callsfor great responsibility, andfor

commitmentandforgivingofoneself.Butitbringswithitgreathappiness.

BeforeIwasjustME;nowIamUS.

A totalchangeof life.Oneno longer livesforoneself,butone isobliged to thinkfirstof

oneschildren.Withonespartner/husbandoneisnolongeracouplebutafamily.

Itisabigchangegoingfrom2to3.Babybecomesthefocus.Itisimportantfortheparentstobeunitedasacoupleandtoattendtoeachother.

ABigshock,everythingchanges,intenseandimpossibletodescribeinwordswhenthings

areinplace,thelovesharedoutweighsallthesacrificesthatareamust.Nootherexperience

is like it in theworldandnogreateraccomplishment,degreeorcareercanoutweigh that

love.

Youthinkthatyoucanlove,butwhenyouhaveyourfirstchildthelovethatyoufeelislike

nothing else on this earth. Itwillmake you become a lioness andwant toprotect your

childrenfrom all harm and badness. Youwill love your childrenforever and nothing can

breakthatbond.Spendingtimewithyourchildren,tellingthemhowmuchyoulovethemis

farmoreimportantthananymaterialthingthatyoucanbuyforthem.Theyprobablywontremembermostofthetoysandgadgetsthattheyget,buttheywillrememberthewalkon

thebeachandthepicnicstheyhadwithyou,thebakingofthecakeandthespecialtimes!!!

Thepassagefromwomantomotherisanexceptionaleventthatonlywewomencanfully

live.Therelationshipbetweenmotherandchildiswonderful,moving.Itisthemostbeautiful

giftoflife,anditisaprivilegethatwehaveandthatnonecantakefromus.

Itisthemostbeautifulgiftthatlifecangivetoawoman.Motherhoodproducesapersonal

blossoming thatmotivatesus towardgivingandgenerosity. Tobeamother is togiveof

oneself. It isanactof love immeasurableandunboundedby time. It isalsoanenormous

challengethatdrivesustohumilityinfailure,thatpushesustosurpassone'sinner(personal)

andouter(physical)limits.

10 See also Angeles, 2009. The latter reports research by Dr. Luis Angeles of the University of Glasgow

leading him to claim that having children improves married peoples' life satisfaction, and that the more

children they have the happier they are. Conversely, for unpartnered parents raising children takes a toll

on parents reported satisfaction with social life, and amount and use of leisure time. More recently

Eurofound in its EQLS II 2010 report provides similar findings in its pan-European survey. See p55-56.

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Theoverwhelmingmessagesfrommothersrespondingtothisquestionare:

1. Thebirthofthefirstchildconstitutesamajorandirreversiblechangeinfocus,priorities,andlifecourse.Oneneveragainseeslifeasonedidbeforebecomingamother.

2. Theresponsibilityofmotherhoodissupremelychallenging,highlydemanding,andwortheverythingitcosts.

3. Becauseofthischange,mothersdevelopadistinctperspectiveandshouldbeallowedtospeakforthemselves.

4. Nonmothersshouldnotpresumetospeakformothers.

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Chapter2Mother'sConcernsfortheChild

Parentshaveapriorrighttochoosethekindofeducationthatshallbegiventotheirchildren,UniversalDeclarationofHumanRights,Article26(3).

Therightofparentstoensuretheeducationandteachingoftheirchildreninconformitywiththeirreligious,philosophicalandpedagogicalconvictionsshallberespected,inaccordancewith

thenationallawsgoverningtheexerciseofsuchfreedomandright,CharterofFundamentalRightsoftheEuropeanUnion,Article14(3).

___.___

Ingivingbirthtoababy,alongwithher loveamotherhasavisionofpotential inherchild. Inraisingthenextgeneration,shehasoneeyetothefuture,attemptingtoevaluatetheeffectofanycurrentactionorconditionon thechild.Amotherunderstands thatshemust lookatthechild'spresentbehaviourandaskwherewillthisbehaviourlead?Sheattemptstoforeseethe

outcome

of

attitudes

and

comportment.

She

feels

a

responsibility

to

teach

and

train

the

child

accordingtopersonalandsocietalvalueswithinthenationalframework inwhichthey live.Ascitedabove,toactonthissenseofpersonalresponsibilityisrecognisedasabasichumanright,along with that of the father, in the highest statements of principles governing Europeansociety.

Viewedinthecontextofsocialsustainability,theexerciseofparentalresponsibilityandrightsisatthecoreoftheprocessbywhichpeopleofonegenerationproduceandpreparethepeopleofthesucceeding generation. In this context economic goods thatare bought andsold becomeinputs into the development of human capabilities. On an aggregate scale this process ofsocietal reproduction centred in the family constitutes an intergenerational investment of

time,energy,andresourcesthatsubsumesandfarexceedsthesizeandscopeofthemarket

economymeasuredbyGDP11.

Mothers are pivotal decision makers and key actors in this intergenerational total humaneconomy. Their intense attention, instruction, and caring is not seen by them as a cost, butrathertheinvestmentofthemselvesinthelivesoftheirchildren.Neitherisitasimplelifestylechoicelikekeepingapetforcompany.Mothersseethemselvesatthecentreoflifesessentialenterprise,thatofproducingandpreparingpeoplewhowillsustainthefuture.

ConcernsfortheInfant

Followingbirth,aperiodofmaternalrecuperation isprovidedbymaternity leave inEuropeancountrieswhichpermitstheinfanttobecaredforbythemotherand,ifpaternityleaveistaken,by the father as well. This time with the infant also permits the mother to breastfeed if shedesires, and many mothers value this opportunity, which according to the World Health

11 The citation is from Nancy Folbre, economist, and member of the 2009 Stiglitz Commission, whose

report is cited elsewhere. See Folbre, Nancy. Valuing Children : Rethinking the Economics of the Family,

Harvard University Press 2008, page 11. For a fuller treatment of the topic the reader is directed to her

works listed in the Bibliography.

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Organization,hasimportanthealthbenefitsforboththebabyandthemother.Breastfeedingisalsorecognisedasadvantageous infosteringtheemotionalattachmentandbondingbetweenthe baby and the mother. Recent research shows that this attachment, and the mother'sattention and interaction support the neurological development of the baby, establishinghealthycircuitsinthebrainandchemicalbalancesthatdeterminetheinfant'sfuturecapabilitiesandhowsheorhewillactuponandrespondtotheworld(UNICEFInnocentiReportCard,2008:6).

Numerousstudies indevelopmentalpsychologyhavedemonstrated the importanceofagooddevelopmentofthetriadicrelationshipofthemother,father,andinfantintheearlymonthsoflife. Important functions of the father are to sustain and care for the mother and to providesecurity.Inaddition,bothparentsbuildvitalbondswiththechild,whicharebasicinthechild'sformationofthesenseofidentity,selfconfidenceandselfesteem(Bouregba,2007).

Maternalandpaternal leavesystems facilitate theseprocessesand last forvarying lengthsoftime, for part of the first year and in some countries up to three years (See MOCHO, 2004:ChapterIIfordiscussionofleavesandbenefits;alsoUNICEFInnocenti,200801).Whilethereare

severalobjectivesindesigningleavesystems,thisdiscussionwillfocusonconcernsforthechild.

OnestudycitedbyChapple&Richardsonassociateshighercognitivedevelopmentsixyearsormorelaterwithchildrenwhohadbeenbreastfed,whichcallsforcoordinatingmaternityleavewiththetimeofbreastfeeding.Otherwisetheydonotfindsupportforarelationshipbetweenparentalleaveandchildwellbeing(Chapple&Richardson,2009:110111).

Incontrast,therecommendationofseveralrecentstudiesistodesignleavestopermitparentstocarefortheirchildrenthemselvesduringthefirstyearatleast(UNICEFInnocentiReportCard,2008: 13; see also Penn, 2009: para. 12, p8; and "The State of the World's Mothers 2009:InvestingintheEarlyYears").

Duringitsfirstyear,morethananythingelse,theinfantneedstobecherished.Thecareneedstobeimmediatelyattentive,warmlyresponsive,andconsistentasthefoundationofbasictrustislaid,andasthebaby'sbraindevelopsaccordingtotheinteractionandnurturingreceived(fora cogent uptodate discussion see Dr Martina Leibovici, Why Mothering Matters, 2010).Evidenceofthelongtermimpactofamothersinvestmentduringthefirstyearofherchildslifecomesfroma34yearlongitudinalstudyreportedonJuly26,2010(seeMaselko,etal.,2010).Highlevelsofmaternalaffectionateightmonthswereassociatedwithsignificantlylowerlevelsofdistressmeasured34yearslaterinadultoffspring.Intheirconclusion,theauthorsstatewhatmothersknow from their own life experience:earlynurturingandwarmthhave longlastingpositiveeffectsonmentalhealthwellintoadulthood.

It isthereforeofvital importanceforthesustainabilityofEuropeansocietythatpolicymakersacknowledge,value,encourage,andsustainthewillinginvestmentintheirchildrenbymothers,fathers,andotherprimarycaregivers.

ConcernsfortheChildofPreSchoolAge

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At the conclusion of maternity leave, a mother will consider the options for her continuinginvolvement in the labour force (to be discussed in Chapter 3) and for thechildcare that willenable her employment. Possibilities for nonmaternal childcare include group care in publicand private institutions, informal arrangements with extended family or friends, and inhomepersonnel.

Increasing the number of preschool child care centres was part of the Barcelona targets:Confirming the goal offull employment, the European Council agreed thatMember Statesshouldremovedisincentivestofemaleparticipation in the labourmarketandstrivetoprovide

childcareby2010toatleast90%ofchildrenbetween3yearsoldandthemandatoryschoolage

andatleast33%ofchildrenunder3yearsofage(Plantenga,2009).

The fact is thatmostparentsarewonderingatwhat timea toddlermaybeplaced incentrebasedcarewithgoodeffect.Wewillfocushereagainontheconcernsforthechild:whendoesasmall child benefit from attendance at preschool? Because more small children are enteringsome form of nonmaternal childcare in their early years, these questions have becomeimportantforthefutureofEuropeansocietiesandarethesubjectofstudies.

Thereispotentialgoodinattendanceatahighqualitypreschool,especiallywhenachildcomesfrom a disadvantaged home of persistent poverty, substance abuse, mental illness, maternaldepression, or low parental education. In addition, when parents do not speak the locallanguage the centrebased care will improve the child's language and cognitive ability,enhancing also later scholastic ability (UNICEF Innocenti, 2008). When early childcare in aprogramofhighqualityiscombinedwithotherfamilyservicesithasadditionalpositiveeffects,includingfacilitatingmaternalemployment,whichyieldshigherincomeinthehome,whichmaybenefit the child (Chapple & Richardson, 2009: 114). In overcoming the effects of povertystrickenhomes,preschoolattendancecanbeeffective incombinationwithotherefforts,butcannotbeexpectedbyitselftocreatemiracles(Penn,2009;UNICEFInnocenti,200801)12.

In their 2009 OECD report Doing Better for Children, Chapple & Richardson pose thisimportantquestion:"Ifaworkbasedantipovertystrategy ispartofthepackagefor reducingchildpoverty,afurtherquestionarises:whatarethe implicationsofgettingparents intowork

forother,broaderdimensionsofchildwellbeing?"(Chapple&Richardson,2009:172).

Theeconomicdimensionoffamily life,whileessential,maynotbeas influentialonthe lifeofthechildastheclosenessorconnectionthatthechildfeelstotheparents.

TheVitalConnection

Nonmaternal childcare has been associated with decreased parental sensitivity to the child.Obviouslythereislesstimespentwiththechild,butitmayalsobelinkedtoadisinvestmentonthepartoftheparent(UNICEFInnocenti,200801:12;Jacob,2007:12;Eberstadt,2004:19).

12Of note is the Harlem project, a continuing effort in New York City, which directs attention to improving

pre-schools, primary and secondary schools, parenting skills, and neighbourhoods at the same time.

(NYTimes "The Harlem Project" 20 June 2004).

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The child's attachment to parents and engaged adults may be replaced by the child'sattachment topeers inhisorheragegroupwhen groupcare isused. Inagroupsetting it isdifficult for a nonrelative to meet an individual child's attachment and orienting needs fully,especially if several other infants and toddlers are vying for that caregiver's attention. Thedifficulty increases when the adult in the caregiver role is also in rotation. Children in suchsituationsmayperceiveadultsasinaccessibleandundependable,andmayhavelittleoptionbutto form attachment relationships with one another. Over time peer attachment can grow tocompetewithorreplaceattachmenttoparents,withseriousconsequencesforlaterreceptivitytobeingtaughtbyortotakingcuesfromadults(Neufeld,2006:7).Ifveryyoung,thechildmaybeasked toformrelationshipswithothersbeforehe isemotionallymatureenoughtohandlethem(Chapple&Richardson,2009).

Furthermore, an increase in aggressive and disruptive behaviour has been linked to a child'sattendance incentrebased care at anearly age and long hours therein (National Institute ofChildHealthandHumanDevelopment,citedinUNICEFInnocenti,200801:12).

Inagroupcareschoolsetting, thechildreceives lessadultattention thanathome,and from

teachers who relate differently to their students than parents relate to their own children.Additionally,thechildrelatestotheteacherdifferentlyaswell(Penn,2009).Insum,iftheearlychildcare is not of high quality then there is risk that it may supplant what the family isattemptingtodo,oritmaydomoreharmthangood(UNICEFInnocenti,200801;Penn,2009).

BelskystatesthatWhatevertheeffectsofearlychildcareexperiencediscerned...familyfactorsandprocessesprovedmorepredictiveofchildren'swellbeingthananyfeatureofchildcare.Soit

appears thatwhatmatters toa childmost is thekindoffamilyhe comesfrom...whether the

familyiseconomicallyviable,parentsarepartnered,motherisnotdepressed,andherparenting

is itself sensitive to the needs of the child (See Belsky report given at the Conference ofEuropeanMinistersofFamilyAffairs,Prague,February,2009:6;Jacob,2007;UNICEFInnocenti,

2008,

Report

Card

8:

12).

Because of the diversity of circumstances and the controversial nature of the question, theappropriateageforanyparticularchildtoenterpreschool isbest lefttothediscretionoftheparentswhoare inabetterpositiontodecidewhat isbestfortheirchild intheframeworkoftheir familyneedsanddesires; the roleof thestateshouldbe thatofprovidingoptions fromwhichparentsmaychoose13.

Respondents to the SurveyofMothers in Europe expressed a strong preference for fulltimematernalcarewhenthechildisundertheageofthree.Althoughyoungermothersshowmorepreference toworkparttime,very fewmotherspreferred towork fulltimewhile thechild is

undertheageofthree(seealsoChapter3,Figures3.2and3.3,andAnnexI,Graph9).Only23%ofmothersagreedwith thestatement that remuneratedemployment ismoresatisfying thantheupbringingofchildren.Ninetyfourpercentofmothersanswered that itwaseitherveryimportantorimportanttohaveachoiceofwhethertocareforthechildherselfortohavepublicchildcareofhighquality.

13 For example, all family organizations and political parties are today demanding free choice of childcare.

Public policies must not dictate a particular form of childcare, especially one outside the home and

community.Gilles Sraphin The sources of family policy, UNAF, 2010.

15
http://www.unaf.fr/spip.php?article10938http://www.unaf.fr/spip.php?article10938


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Amothersvoice: Giveus thechoice to takecareofourownchildrenup to the time theystartschool,and

makeitpossiblefinancially.Allofsocietywouldbenefit.

Thereare,ofcourse,manyotherformsofnonmaternalcarethroughextendedfamilymembersincludinggrandparents,otherfamilymembersandinhomepersonnelincludingnanniesandaupairs. Such arrangements may offer advantages of less interruption of the child's biologicalrhythm, less exposure to sources of infection, and a more constant relationship with adultcaregivers,andmorecoherenceincaregivingapproach.

About58%ofmothersrespondingtothe2010MMMEuropessurveyreceivehelpfromparentsandotherextendedfamilytooccasionallyprovidechildcare,and34%ofsurveyedmothersuseinhomeservicessuchasanannyorcleaninglady14.

ConcernsforChildrenofObligatorySchoolAge

Inthissectionwetreatthe issuesofconcerntomothersofchildren inprimaryandsecondaryschool.

InOECDcountriesincludingmanyEuropeancountries,onaverage75%of11,13,and15yearoldslivewithbothparents,risingto85%inSouthernEuropeancountries.Singleparentfamiliesaccount forabout15%ofadolescents.Anaverageof8%ofchildren live instepfamilies (oneparent pluspartner), rising to12% inmostof theNordiccountriesand theUK (OECDDoingBetterforOurChildren,p128,table5.1).

The wellbeing of children is assessed in the OECD report on several dimensions: economiccondition,physicalwellbeing,andopportunitiesfordevelopment,(OECDDoingBetterforour

Children), all of which are of concern to parents. The economic dimension includes meetingbasicmaterialneedsofthefamily,whichincreasinglyinvolvesbothpaternalandmaternalpaidemployment.

Impactofparentalemploymentonchildren

InaclusterofrecentstudiesconductedinFinland,mostadolescentshadpositiveperceptionsoftheirparents'work,realisingthatlonghoursarenecessary.Adolescentpositiveperceptionsofparental work were associated with developmentally sound parenting. These positiveperceptionsofparents'workcorrelatedwithbetterinterpersonalrelationshipsbetweenparentsand children. One study compared data collected from adolescents with data collected fromparents concerning their jobs. There existed a positive correlation between the mothers'

positive

job

motivation

and

the

adolescents'

positive

attitudes

toward

school,

as

well

as

betweenthefathers'jobmotivationandtheirsupervision.Thefather'shighereducationallevelcorrelated with lower levels of adolescent depression (Sallinen et al, 2004). The example ofparental work habits seems to impact favourably on children and is particularly important inbreakinggenerationalcyclesofdependencyonwelfare.

14 Of note is the system in France, which gives cash allotments to parents to purchase childcare as they

judge best. The PAJE (Prestation dAccueil du Jeune Enfant) provides financial help for families with

young children including an allowance for whatever chosen care solution, complment de libre choix du

mode de garde

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Inthesamestudy,itwasfoundthatstressfromparentalemploymentissueswascarriedhomewith parents as a general stressful feeling, which affected their parenting and in turn wasexperienced by adolescents through increasedconflictand reducedautonomy.Negativespilloverfromthefather'semploymentcorrelatedwithadolescentboys'negativeattitudetoschooland externalising behaviour manifested as aggression. For adolescent girls, spillover fromparentaljobstresscorrelatedwith internalisingbehaviourmanifested indepressionand lowerselfesteem(Sallinen,2004).Oneresearcherhypothesisedthatmother'sbadmoodonreturningfromworkmaybedueinparttothedomesticworkshefaces(WierdaBoer,2004).

Noncorrespondencebetweenschooldayandworkday

Children's short school day compared to parents' long work day may force children to stayseveral hours in the afternoon without adult supervision. Pulkkinen (2004) has proposed anintegrated school day15 for building a better match between the school, parents' work, andshared family time. A threeyear experiment showed that an integrated school day reduceschildren'sanxietyanddepression(Metspelt&Pulkkinen,2010)andimprovessocialbehaviour,

workingskills,andschoolsuccessifmusicandartareaddedtotheprogram.

FlexibleandParttimeworkhours

Flexiblehoursandparttimeworkareseenbymanymothersasallowingthemtheflexibilitytomorecloselymonitorandworkforthewellbeingoftheirchild(ren).Parttimeworkisofferedby80%ofemployersintheNetherlands,whichhasthehighestpercentageofwomenengagedinparttime work in Europe. It is noteworthy that the UNICEF report card for 2007 rates thewellbeingofchildren intheNetherlandsasthehighest.(SeeChapter6,RecommendationsforPolicyMakers.)

Childrenneedtobeabletodependontheirparents,andmothersandfathersneedtimewiththeir children. Parental investment of time with their children can be a major factor in theirwellbeing,includingscholasticsuccess,abilitytoresistriskrelatedbehaviours,anddevelopmentoflifeskillssuchasinternalcontrolandgoodworkhabits16.

Furthermore,childrensvoicesshouldandcanbetaken intoaccount.Adultstypicallyorganisechildrens lives without listening to them. It would be important to study how childrenexperience longdaycaredaysor lonelyafternoonswhenparentsareworkingand there isnoadultsupervision.Evensmallchildrencanexpresshowtheymissparentsandhowstressfulthey

15 "Integrated school day" refers to a new learning culture with different learning, care, and leisure activities

organized cooperatively among several professions on the school premises, which lengthens the time at

school to more closely match parental working hours.16 Regarding scholastic success, research in Norway studied the effects that plant closure and the

resulting loss of parents' jobs have on their children's scholastic grade-point average. When a father lost his

job in communities where the labour market was mediocre, the children's grade-point average declined,

which was associated with the children's worry about the threat to the father's financial support of the

family. When a mother lost her job, the children's grades improved, evidently by the mother's increased

attention to child-rearing (Rege et al., 2007).

17


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see their family life. Children's perceptions of parenthood and adults are important for theirfuture.Moreattentionshouldbepaidtothem.17

Impactofparentalrelationshipsinadolescence

Parental

responsibility

and

investment

does

not

end

when

children

enter

their

teen

years.

Of

greatconcerntomothers,asexpressedinpersonalinterviewsandfocusgroups,aretheactivityandwellbeingof theirchildrenduringafterschoolhours. In theSurveyofMothers inEurope,83%percentofmothersdisagreedwiththestatementthatadolescentchildrencantakecareof themselves after school. Of all agree/disagree statements in the questionnaire, thisstatementreceivedthestrongestrejection.Inthesamesurvey,afull92%ofmothersansweredthat having working hours coincide with school hours was of high importance, and a largemajorityexpressedthepreferenceforparttimepaidemploymentuntilthechildis18yearsorolder.

Experiencedmothersknowthatadolescentsneedparentalattention,andthatthestrengthofan adolescent childs trust and openness to mother is dependent on the relationship formed

andsustainedfromtheearliestmomentsof life.Adolescentequilibriumandselfmanagementgrowoutofparentalconnection(Neufeld,2004).LeaPulkkinens30year longitudinalstudyofyouthinFinlandshowsastrongassociationbetweenobservedandreportedmeasuresofparentbehaviour and relationship with the child at age eight and a childs subsequent success insecondary school, in dealing with addiction and antisocial behaviour, in the transition toemployment, in theassumptionofadultresponsibility, inthetransition topartnership,and inparentingbehaviourinmaturity.(SeeBibliographyinPulkkinen,2010.)

MarjukkaSallinenandcolleaguessummedupasurveyofresearchonadolescentbehaviourandparental relationships with these phrases: it is vitalfor adolescents development that theyhavewarmrelationshipswiththeirparents,especiallysinceacloseparentalrelationshipseems

tofunctionasaprotectivefactor incopingwithchanges in lifeandmaypreventdepression.

Adolescents with a poor parental bonding relationship (e.g., low care, high affectionlesscontrol) seem to be more vulnerable to depression in the face of adverse life events than

adolescentswithmoreoptimalbondingrelationships(Sallinenetal.,2007:182).

Ofthemotherssurveyed intheSurveyofMothersinEurope,97%reportedgoodtoverygoodrelationships with their children: Having stable and harmonious relationships was veryimportant(88%),aswashavingsufficienttimetospendwiththem(84%)andbeingabletosetandmaintainboundariesandlimits(73%).AgainquotingSallinenetal.,itmaynotbethefrequencyofconflictsbutthefailureofconflictresolutionthatisimportantforadolescentswell

being[S]uccessinconflictresolutiondecreasedthelinkbetweenadolescentmotherconflict

andadolescentdepression.Inotherwords,ifsuchconflictsendedinapositivesolution,theydid

nothavenegativebearingonadolescentmood(op.cit.).

Adolescents who reported a warm relationship with mother and father have been shown tohavesignificantlybetterhealthwhentheybecomematureadults.Thirtyfiveyearsafteryoung

17 For example, The Childrens Society employed age appropriate techniques such as childrens drawings

and compositions to gather views and perceptions of family life from 30,000 children and teen-agers for its

recent study titled A Good Childhood(London: The Childrens Society, 2009) The study is available at

http://www.childrenssociety.org.uk.

18
http://www.childrenssociety.org.uk/http://www.childrenssociety.org.uk/


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college students at Harvard University reported not having a warm relationship with theirparents, these same people were suffering from twice the incidence of diagnosed disease inmidlife (91%)ascompared tostudentswho reportedhavingacloserelationshipwithparents(45%).TheresearchersinthiscontinuinglongitudinalstudystatedSinceparentsareusuallythemostmeaningfulsourceofsocialsupportinearlylife,theperceptionofparentalloveandcaring

mayhave importanteffectsonbiologicalandpsychologicalhealthand illness throughout life(Russeketal.,1997).

Impactoffamilymealsonadolescentsubstanceabuse

Offurtherconcerntomothersareadolescenteatinghabitsandlifestyleswhichleadtoobesityandaddictivebehaviours.Whileitismoredifficultforfamiliestofindtimetoprepareandtoeata meal together, mothers intuitively sense that there are crucial benefits beyond betternutrition which include facilitating communication, improving family cohesion and interpersonal relationships, and maintaining order. Time spent inmeals at home is likely to beassociatedwithamorestable,organizedfamily life,and thereforewithchildrenhavingfewer

behaviour problems (Jacob et al., 2008). MarieJose Mozin, president of the EuropeanAssociation of Infant Dietitians, summed up the observations of her group of professionals:

Whenmealsaredisorganized,oftennothing is inorder:neitherresttime,northedurationofeveningsleep,norschoolwork,norphysicalactivities.Thelossofallthesereferencepointsisthe

sourceofanguishexperiencedbysomechildren(Mozin,2007).

Thepracticeoffamilydinnersfiveormoretimesaweekhasbeenassociatedalsowithchildren'sresistancetosubstanceabuseandalsobetteracademicperformance. (CASAColumbia2010)18

Parentsandadolescentdelinquentbehavior

As we have been reminded by Katerina Batzeli, Member of the European Parliament andrapporteur,parentalsupervisionandcontrolisessentialinpreventingdelinquentbehaviourin

theirchildren.Parentsarerecognisedasresponsibleforcultivatingcompliancewithandrespectfor the law (EuropeanParliament,FEMMcommitteehearingonJuvenileDelinquency,2007).Whetherparentsareactiveinpaidemploymentornot,inamothersowneyesandintheeyesof society and of the law,parentsare heldaccountable for children's antisocial and criminalbehaviour19.

Lea Pulkkinens ongoing Finnish Jyvskyl Longitudinal Study of Personality and SocialDevelopment (Pulkkinen, 2006, 2009) started in 1968 with 8yearold children. The study hascontinueduptomiddleage. Itshowsastrongassociationbetweenchildcentredparenthoodand successful development in children. Childcentred parenthood at age 14 includes theparents trust in the child, knowledge about his/her freetime, company and activities,

encouragement

and

interest

in

the

childs

school

attendance

and

opinions,

consistency

in

child

rearing, advice and praise to the child, and no corporal punishment. In most cases, the

18National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, Columbia University, www.casacolumbia.org

19 In a recent civil court case in Milano, Italy parents were held accountable for their sons' crime and were

ordered by the judge to pay 450,000 Euros in damages to a young girl who was raped repeatedly by the

boys. The judge noted that the boys thought their behaviour was normal, and said that the parents should

have educated their boys to abide by rules and to respect the feelings of others. Broadcast on BBC

Europe Today, 5 February 2010 at 17h05 (UK time).

19
http://www.casacolumbia.org/http://www.casacolumbia.org/


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adolescents perception of how their parents treated them was more significant for theirdevelopmentthanwhattheparentssaidabouttheirparentingbehavior.

Asampleoffindingsshowsthatchildcentredparenthoodreportedbyyoungpeopleattheageof14 isassociatedwithmeasuredadolescentshigherprosocialskills,particularlyconstructivebehavior (Pulkkinen,1982).Constructive behavior in turn predicts many positive outcomes inadulthood (Pulkkinen, 2001), marital stability (Kinnunen & Pulkkinen, 2003), career success(Pulkkinen, Feldt, & Kokko, 2006), and income (Viinikainen, Kokko, Pulkkinen & Pehkonen,2010).Childcentredparenthoodisalsoassociatedwithchildrenslowerdelinquentbehaviorinadolescence and adulthood (Pulkkinen, 1983; Mnnikk & Pulkkinen, 2001), lowerunemployment(Kokko&Pulkkinen,2000), lessproblemdrinkingatages27and42(Pitknen,Kokko,Lyyra&Pulkkinen,2008),andhighertemperance,thatis,selfregulationasitisreflectedinmanyaspectsoflife(Pulkkinen&Pitknen,2010).

Competitionwiththescreen

In MMMEuropes preliminary focus groups and expert interviews, mothers expressed their

concernfortheintrusivenatureof"screens"andotherelectronictechnologyintheirfamilylife.Onemothercited"monsterarguments"overtheamountoftimeadolescentsspentwiththeir"screens". Another mentioned the reluctance some parents had in setting limits. When theparents returned from work they wanted to avoid conflict and thus ignored the excessiveamount of time their child devoted to virtual games, chat rooms, or other electronicentertainment,oftenattheexpenseofacademicpreparationorrest.

Summary

Parents desire to invest in their children. They have a natural sense of responsibility and aconcern to act effectively. Ultimately, they are held responsible by society for negative

outcomes. These motivations, concerns, and responsibilities should be acknowledged andconsidered seriously in any discussion or implementation of state policy. Many tensionsexperiencedbymothersderivefromtheimpactofemploymentandtaxationpolicyontherangeofchildrearingandfamilychoicesparentsbelievetheyhave.Informationandawarenessoftheconsequences of state policies on parent and child wellbeing are necessary for wise decisionmaking. Parental engagement and effectiveness in rearing the rising generation will impactthe longterm sustainability of European society more surely than many other matters

presentlyconsideredimportant.

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Chapter3MothersEmploymentandFamilyLife

"Everyonehastherighttoengageinworkandtopursueafreelychosenoracceptedoccupation"

CharterofFundamentalRightsoftheEU,Article15(1)

MotherhoodandchildhoodareentitledtospecialcareandassistanceUniversalDeclarationofHumanRights,Article25(2)

Equalitybetweenmenandwomenmustbeensuredinallareas,includingemployment,workandpay.Theprincipleofequalityshallnotpreventthemaintenanceoradoptionofmeasures

providingforspecificadvantagesinfavouroftheunderrepresentedsexCharterofFundamentalRightsoftheEU(Article23)

___.___

Mothers

have

always

worked.

Throughout

all

of

history,

mothers

have

given

birth

to

children,

nourishedandnurtured familymembers,and laboured on the family farm orenterprise.TheIndustrialRevolutionbroughtnewopportunitiestoexchangeone's timeandeffortformoneythroughemploymentforbothmenandwomen.Later,whilemenfought inworldwars,manymorewomen learned tomanagepaidemploymentanddomesticcare.Whenpeacereturned,men and women wanted a home and children, resulting in large population growth. Thepredominant family pattern was the complementary division of labour where one parentworkedoutsidethehome inreturnforawagewhichsupported thefamily,whiletheworkofthe other parent furnished the informal care of family members, in the shared parentalobjective to invest their lives in theadvancementandupbringingof thenextgeneration. Thepossibilityforoneadulttoworkawayfromthehomedependedonthecommitmentofanotheradult to maintain the home and care for the children. This model of mutual trust andcomplementarity is mainly based on interdependence and appreciation for mutuallyadvantageouscontributions.

Duringthissametimeofpeaceandprosperity,modernmedicaladvanceshaveincreasedhealthand longevityandhavedecreasedtheneedforhomenursingcare.Women'sabilitytocontroltheirfertilitymeanstheycantimetheirchildbearing,resultingingreaterandmorepredictableavailability for outofhome activity. Women's increasing educational achievement andemployment possibilities along with the goal of gender equality, have opened newopportunities.Inaddition,couplerelationshipsaremoreoftenformedonthebasisofaffectionandwitha focuson individual fulfilmentwithinapartnershipofequals.There isadecreasedemphasisonrearingthenextgeneration,andfamiliesaresmaller.

Mothershavealwaysbeenactiveandwillcontinuetowork,whetherinthepaidlabourforceorin unpaid family care or in combination. However, as increasing numbers of women advanceintotheworldofemployment,whichrewardstheireffortswithmoneyandstatus,theunpaidandquietworkofcaringisnotrecognised,counted,esteemed,norrewarded.

Mothers have always worked, but what has changed is the world around them and the

devaluationof theworkofcaringwhich theyhavealwaysdone. IntheSurveyofMothers inEurope, through their messages to policy makers, mothers are clearly claiming that their

21


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devotedunpaidworkshouldberecognisedandvaluedasavitalandirreplaceableinvestmentinthefutureofsociety20.

WhatdoWomenwant?

CatherineHakimhassurveyedwomen, including thosewhoarechildless, invariouscountriesconcerning theirworklifestylepreferences. She found thatwomensanswers fell into threeclusters distributed similarly across the sampled European countries. A minority of womenvaryingfrom10%to30%namedcareerastheirtoppriority.A largerproportion,varyingfrom40% to80%of thosepolled,preferred tocombinepaidemploymentwith familycare.Finally,anotherminorityofwomenvaryingfrom10%to30%ofrespondentsexpressedapreferenceforfulltime engagement in homemaking and motherhood. Hakim named these groupsrespectivelyworkcentred,adaptiveandhomecentred(Hakim,2009).

Conceptually we hypothesised thatthese three positions could beimagined to fallalongacontinuumrunning from strongly careercentredatoneextreme tostronglyhomecentred at the oppositeextreme. We further hypothesisedthat mothers would choose toallocate their time between careerand home as a function of thecircumstances and needs theyperceived, and that the relativeproportions of choices along the

hypothesised continuum would approximate a bellshaped distribution such as that shown inFigure3.1.

Figure3.1:HypothesizedDistributionofEuropeanWomensWorkPreferences

Careercentred Adaptive Homecentred

WhatdoMotherswant?

Hakimssampleincludedmanywomenwhoarenotmothers.Sinceourmandateistorepresentmothers,wedecidedtoexplorehowthedistributionofmothersresponsesmightcomparewiththehypothesisedbellshapedpattern.

20 In the Survey of Mothers in Europe about 30% of all messages to policymakers included a claim for

better recognition of the unpaid work of caring for others.

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In our 2010 Survey ofMothers in Europe, we therefore posed to mothers three options forexpressingtheirpreferenceforfulltimepaidemploymentandfulltimeunremuneratedfamilycareorsomecombinationofthetwo.Some8,720mothersrespondedtothesequestions.

Figure3.2:MothersExpressedWorkPreferenceaccordingtoSurveyofMothersinEurope2010Q.Surveys*haveaskedwomentheirpreferencesconcerningpaidwork. About20%choosetocentretheir livesonacareer,about60%would liketocombinepaidworkwithfamilycareduties,andabout20%wouldprefertocentretheir livesonfulltimeunpaidfamilycareduties.Whatwouldbeyourpreference?(*DrCatherineHakim.)

Careercentred Adaptive Homecentred

N=8720,onepossibleanswerSource:SurveyofMothersinEurope2010:Wave1data.MMMEurope,June172010

ThefrequencyoftherespondingmothersexpressedpreferencesisplottedinFigure3.2. Atoneextreme,aminorityof11%expressedpreference fora fulltimecareer.A largeproportionofrespondents,64%,wouldprefertosomehowcombinepaidemploymentwithfamilycare.Oneinfourofallrespondentsexpressedaclearpreferenceforfulltimehomemaking21.

Formothers intheadaptivegrouppreferringtocombinepaidemploymentwithfamilycareweposedadditionalquestionstodeterminethedegreetowhichtheirchoicewouldvaryasafunctionoftheageofchildren in thehome.Theresultsofthisstudyareshown inFigure3.3.The tops of the bars are connected to call attention to the way the preferences of therespondingmothersvariedasafunctionoftheirperceptionoftheneedsofchildrenofdifferingages.

About80%oftheseadaptivemotherswishtotakecareoftheirsmallchildren03yearsofageat home with 20% expressing the desire for parttime work. For children 46 years, 50% ofadaptivemothersprefertoworkparttime,increasingto80%onceobligatoryschoolbegins,andcontinuingthroughtoage18.Fulltimeworkisnotpreferredformostadaptivemothers

untilafterthechildreachestheageof18.

21Other surveys having similar results include: France: According to a TNS-Sofres survey 57% of

mothers with children younger than 2 years stay at home, and 90% of them have chosen it (They are not on

unemployment.), Mamans plein temps, 24 December 2009; Germany: Family Network Germany, see

www.familie-ist-zukunft.de; UK: What women want, Cristina Odone,

http://www.cps.org.uk/cps_catalog/what%20women%20want.pdf; USA: Fewer Mothers Prefer Full-time

Work, from 1997 to 2007, Pew Research Center, July 12, 2007,

http://pewsocialtrends.org/pubs/536/working-women.

23
http://www.familie-ist-zukunft.de/http://www.cps.org.uk/cps_catalog/what%20women%20want.pdfhttp://pewsocialtrends.org/pubs/536/working-womenhttp://pewsocialtrends.org/pubs/536/working-womenhttp://www.cps.org.uk/cps_catalog/what%20women%20want.pdfhttp://www.familie-ist-zukunft.de/


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Figure3.3:AdaptiveMothersExpressed'WorkPreferencebyAgeofChildQ.Youhaveselectedacombinationofparttimeworkandfamilycareduties.Ifyouhadthechoice,

whichoptionwouldyouchoosedependingonthechildren'sageperiodsbelow:

N=4744onlyifrespondedcombinationofpaidandunpaidfamilyworkorAdaptivecategoryofFigure4.2

These

respondents

expressed

a

preference

for

combining

paid

employment

and

family

care

in

response

to

the

initialglobalpreferencequestion.Thosegivinganadaptiveresponseweresubsequentlyaskedwhichofthreeworkoptionstheywouldpreferasafunctionofchildage.

VerticalAxis:PercentofResponsesineachofthreecategories:Fulltimeemployment(lightblue),Parttimeemployment(gray),Familycarefulltime(violet).Responsessumto100%ineachchildagecolumn.

HorizontalAxis:AgeofChild:Under1year,Between1and3years,Between4and6years,Between7and11years,Between12and18years,Between19and25years,26yearsandolder.

Source:SurveyofMothersinEurope2010:Wave1data.MMMEurope,June172010

Thus,itisseenthat7490%ofmothersinEurope,boththoseintheworkcentredandadaptivegroups, want to work at some point in their lives. As stated above, their right to work isrecognisedintheCharterofFundamentalRightsoftheEUArticle15:1.

Itcanalsobeseenthat91%ofmothers,boththoseintheadaptiveandhomecentredgroups,express a preference for caring for their own children, and for the adaptive mothers, invarying amounts of time according to age of the child. Their right to choose the kind ofeducation given to their children is recognised in both the Universal Declaration of HumanRights(Article26:3)andtheCharterofFundamentalRightsoftheEU(Article14:3)asstatedinChapter2.

There isa pattern to the seasons in the life of a mother. There are seasonswhen her family

concernscallformorepresenceandinvestmentinherchildren,andthereareseasonswhenshefeelsfreetoworklongerhoursoutsidethehome.Theneedsofherchildrenasindicatedbytheirage in thesurvey questions are a key determinant. Whatdomotherswant?Most motherswantthepossibilitytocommittoserviceawayfromtheirchildrenonlywhentheyaresatisfiedthat their children will not be diminished by the diversion of their focus. Policy makers whoconsider these preferences and patterns aremore likely to propose and implement wise andeffectivedecisions.

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TheRighttoWork,theRighttoCare

Therighttoworkinpaidemploymentandtherighttoengageinunpaidcareworkmustbothberecognisedandsupportedbygovernmentpolicyanddecisionmakers.Becauseofthediversityofconditionsandpreferences,noonesizefitsallcausesorsolutionscananswertheneedsof

citizens.Statesmustallowcitizenstomaketheirownchoicesabouttheirfamilylife.

Forthosemotherswhodesiretoworkwhilechildrenareyoung,theremustbequalitysupportthat makes it possible. Therefore the reconciliation of paid work and family life takes highpriorityintheEuropeanCommission'sconception,especiallytheprovisionofchildcareandbirthleaves which enable mothers to work, thereby lowering the risk of poverty and decreasinggovernmentspendingonwelfare.Women'sworkalsoincreasesthelaboursupply,keepingeverbettereducatedwomen inemployment.This increases thegrowthpotentialof theeconomyandstrengthenstheabilityofacountrytomeetthechallengesofanageingsociety(EuropeanCommission Demography report, 2008: 1034). States are also concerned with increasing taxrevenues,andwomen'sworkisseenasanotherwaytoaccomplishthisgoal.

Another means of reconciliation is offered in flexible or parttime work. In their overview offamilymanagementinEurope,Blasko&HerchefindthatyoungmothersdecreasetheirlabourmarketactivityineachEuropeancountrywiththeexceptionofMaltaandtheydosotoquitea

significant extent in someof them (Blasko & Herche 2010, 12). This action results from thechangeinresponsibilitiesandprioritiesdiscussedinChapter1onthetransitiontomotherhood.Notsurprisingly,attheintroductionofnewprioritiesmothersseeemploymentanditsdemandsinadifferentcontextandbecomemoresensitivetoworkinghoursandconditions.

The priorities of mothers come through clearly in the Survey ofMothers in Europe: 99% ofrespondentsconsideritimportantorveryimportanttohavesufficienttimewithfamilyandto reconcile work and family life harmoniously. Furthermore, when offered the possibility to

sendamessagetoEuropespolicymakers,30%expressedconcernaboutaspectsofwork/familybalance includingmaternityandparental leave,flexibleworkinghoursandconditionsofwork,theavailabilityofparttimework,andthecorrelationofworkscheduleswithschoolcalendarsand schedules. Additional responses of mothers relative to work/family balance are found inAnnexI.Schoolholidaysinclude89weeksinsummerversusparentworkholidaysof24weeks.Children and adolescents can't be left to their own devices or on the street while parent(s)work22.

Speaking to a conference organised in 2009 by the European Commission, MarieThrseLetabliersaid:"Itisoftenarguedthatemploymentrelatedpoliciesaremostcosteffective,sincetheycombinedifferentobjectives.Inthiscase,however,thesupportneedstobesufficientlywide

rangingtomeettheneedsoffamilies.Thus,policiesthatencourageparents,livingaloneorwithpartners,tobeinworkarefoundtoofferanefficientmeansofreducingtheriskofpoverty,while

raisingthestandardoflivingoffamilieswithchildrenandpromotinggreatergenderequalityin

thelabourmarket.Higheremploymentratescanalsogenerateahigherincomeforthestateby

meansoftaxation,whichcancontributetothefundingofsocialandfamilypolicies.Thisvirtuous

circlecanbeachieved,however,onlyifthesupportprovidedissufficienttomeetthebasicneeds

22 Cities in the USA like Chicago descend into the savagery of gang violence during the summer (see the

newspaper article "Cities Brace for Summer Crime" in "USA Today", 30 June 2010). This article discusses

community efforts to help children when there is no one at home.

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offamiliesandtohelpbothparentscombineworkandfamily lifeandtosharecaringtasks. If

thepolicy is toonarrowlyfocusedonwork, itdoesneither improve the standardof livingof

families, norprevent income inequalities, nor promote child development or higher fertility

rates...Themostpositiveoutcomesareobserved in countrieswhere support iswide ranging"(Letablieretal.,2009:5).

Because of the diverse desires and needs of mothers, and their distinctive lifecourse, theremustbechoiceandpoliciesfreefromideology.

UnpaidWork

Whilewestresstheimportanceofwomensparticipationinthelabourforce,forthemselves,fortheirfamilyand forsociety, in thissectionwechose toconcentrateonthe importanceof theunpaidcarework.TheEuropeanUnionlargelyencouragesandpromoteswomensparticipationinthelabourforcebutthevalueofunpaidworkstillneedstoberecognised.

The value to society of the investment in unpaid care work is expressed by Commissionner

Andor: In allMember States,women aremore likely to be carers. They aremore likely toprovidephysically intimate, emotionally demanding, and longerterm care. The value of this

work in human, social and economic terms is enormous andwewould not be able to cope

withoutit(SpeechtoEuropeanParliamentintergrouponcaring,May2010)

The inclusion of unpaid work in the GDP would also help in the recognition of its value tosociety.Thereisacleartrendofclaimscomingfromexperts,groupsandorganisationswhoareaskingfortheinclusionofunpaidworkinGDP.

IntheStiglitzreport,wefind:Therehavebeenmajorchanges inhowhouseholdsandsocietyfunction.Forexample,manyoftheservicespeoplereceivedfromotherfamilymembers inthe

pastarenowpurchasedonthemarket.Thisshifttranslatesintoariseinincomeasmeasuredinthenationalaccountsandmaygiveafalse impressionofachange in livingstandards,while it

merely reflects a shiftfrom nonmarket tomarketprovision of services.Many services that

households produce for themselves are not recognized in official income and production

measures, yet they constitutean importantaspectofeconomicactivity.While theirexclusion

fromofficialmeasures reflectsuncertaintyaboutdatamore thanconceptualdifficulties, there

hasbeenprogress in thisarena; still,moreandmore systematicwork in thisarea shouldbe

undertaken. This should start with information on how people spend their time that is

comparablebothovertheyearsandacrosscountries.Comprehensiveandperiodicaccountsof

householdactivityassatellitestothecorenationalaccountsshouldcomplementthepicture.In

developingcountries,theproductionofgoods(forinstancefoodorshelter)byhouseholdsplays

animportantrole.Trackingtheproductionofsuchhomeproducedgoodsisimportanttoassess

consumptionlevelsofhouseholdsinthesecountries23.

23 The measurement of Economic Performance and Social Progress Revisited OFCE - N 2009-33;

DECEMBER 2009 (Recommendation 5:Broaden income measures to non-market activities, 26) Report by

the Commission on the Measurement of Economic Performance and Social Progress (Joseph E. STIGLITZ,

Amartya SEN, Jean-Paul FITOUSSI) summary: http://www.ofce.sciences-

po.fr/pdf/documents/summary.pdf, or http://www.stiglitz-sen-fitoussi.fr/en/index.htm.

26
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And from the Council of Europe comes another call to include unpaid care work in the GDP:Lastly,familyupbringingmustalsobetakenintoaccountastimedevotedtochildrenalsoaddstowellbeing and indirectly increases GDP.More generally speaking, activities carried out by

womeninthehomesuchashouseworkandpreparingmealsmustbebroughtintotheequation,

as in some Council of Europemember states such as Germany and Finland these activities

accountforabout30%ofGDP24.

InherrecentarticlepublishedintheNewYorkTimes,"TheFemaleFactor,theStigmaofBeingaHousewife", Katrin Bennhold discusses what has happened in Sweden and Norway wherehousewives have become so stigmatised that they are embarrassed to be known as such.When it is no longer socially acceptable to be a housewife...has feminism overshot itsobjective?.Shefurthercomments,Socialengineeringisablunttool,andsomeworrythatthefreedomofworkingmothershas comeat theexpenseofmakingoutcastsofaminoritywho

want to do things differently. Bennhold then quotes Hlne Privier, an economist at theInstitut d'tudes Politiques in Paris. [An] effective way might be to finally and formallyrecognise the contribution housewivesmake to the economy It's not about beingpaid; it'saboutbeingvaluedIfevertherewasatimetoincludeunpaidhouseworkandcareworkinGDP

figures,itisnow.Bennholdconcludes,saying,Workingmothershaveastakeinthistoo:TheystilldomostoftheunpaidworkintheirhomeseveninSweden25.

Mothers'voices: Amotherhaslegalstatuswhensheispaidtocareforchildrenwhoarenotherown. Why

can she not have recognition and legal status for caring for her own children? Please

recognisetheunpaidcareworkamotherdoesinherownhome.

"Whystigmatiseafulltimemotherwhoiscaringforherownchildren,byclassifyingheras

"notworking",whileanannywhocaresforthechildrenis"working?

GenderEquality

Equality between women and men is multifaceted, including the possibility for hiring andadvancementwithoutdiscriminationandequalpayforequivalentqualificationandwork.Withmore women entering the labour force, attention has been called to the second shift ofdomesticworkwhichisaccomplishedaftertheworkday,mostlybywomen.

Thereisastronggenderaspectinvolvedinthistopic(ofemployment).PaidandunpaidworkisdistributedunequallybetweenmenandwomeninEuropeansocietyDespitetheeffortstaken

by several European societies to createpolicy environment that conformsmen andwomen

equally,gender remains a substantialfactorof theworkdistributing behaviour in the labour

marketaswellasinthehousehold(Blasko&Herche,2010).

In an effort to bring about equality between women and men in both paid employment andunpaid care work, the individualisation of social security rights and tax law in some member

24 Council of Europe, Doc. 12199, 9 April 2010, Wealth, welfare, and well-being: How to reconcile them

in a changing Europe? Report Committee on Economic Affairs and Development, rapporteur: Mr.

Konstantinos VRETTOS, paragraph 39. For countries which conduct time-use studies including unpaid

care work, see International Association for Time Use Research http://www.iatur.org/25 In the New York Times, July 20, 2010; http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/21/world/europe/21iht-

LETTER.html?_r=1&scp=4&sq=Katrin%20bennhold&st=cse.

27
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states strips benefits derived from a spouse's employment for mothers engaging in unpaidfamilycarework.This istoprovideanincentiveforhomemakerstoseekpaidemployment(Julmont,2006).This individualisation isperceivedascoercionandexertseconomicpressureonwomenand their families.Howdoes this reconcilewithrights recognised in theUniversalDeclarationofHumanRights?Article25(2)states:Motherhoodandchildhoodareentitledtospecialcareandassistance.Furthermore theCharterofFundamentalRightsof theEuropeanUnion, Article 23 states: Equality betweenmen and womenmust be ensured in all areas,includingemployment,workandpay.Theprincipleofequalityshallnotpreventthemaintenance

oradoptionofmeasuresprovidingfor specificadvantages infavourof theunderrepresented

sex.

Coercion is rationalisedbysome in thenameofgenderequality in theworkplaceand in thehome, in order to alter the imbalance of power thought to exist between traditionalearner/carer roles, which are seen as being adverse to mothers and women in general (seeCOFACE,2006).

Coercionwillalwayshave itsattractionsforthoseabletodothecoercing,but,asasourceof

enlightenedprogress,thesubjugationoftheindividualintheinterestsofthecommunityhaslostmuchofitsappeal(Onwardsandupwards,TheEconomist,December19,2009).Torecogniseamothersrighttochoseisconsistentwiththeprincipleofsubsidiarity,oneofthepillarsoftheEuropeanUnion.

Thosewhopursueequalitybetweenwomenandmenshouldworktowardsensuringaccesstosocial protection, pension credits and social security for those who perform the unpaid careworkandservicesinsidethefamily.

The United Nations Economic Commission for Europe states: Governments and whereappropriatesocialpartnersshouldensure thatwomencanparticipate inandbenefitfromfull

and equal access to socialprotection systems. Socialprotectionpolicies should be reviewedwhereappropriate inordertotakefullaccountoftheworkandcareresponsibilitiesofwomen

andmenthroughoutthelifecycle26.

Thereisalsoconcernthatbirthleavesimpactwomen'semploymentingeneral.Becauseofthecostand the inconvenienceofhiring temporaryreplacement for theemployedmotherduringher absence and in some countries paying salary support for the mother on birth leave,employersmaytakedefensiveactionbynothiringwomenofchildbearingageorifhired,birthleavesmayimpactsalarylevelorcareeradvancement.Thusbirthleavesarejudgedbysometobecounterproductivetoequalitybetweenwomenandmen,inbothpayandposition(Hantrais,2006;MOCHO,2004).

The pay differential between men and women has been greater in Sweden than it was fourdecadesago andgreater thanatpresent incountrieswith less developed parental leave andsubsidisedchildcare.AlsoinSwedenemploymenttendstobemoresegregated:morewomenwork in lowerpayingpublicsectorjobsandmoremenareemployedbyprivatecompaniesathigher salary levels (Plantenga, 2006: 30; Hakim, 2004). However, the recent Eurochild study(2010)claimsthatthegenderpaygapinSwedenisaboutthesameastheEUaverageof17%.

26 UNECE/AC.23/2002/2/Rev. 6, p.19 # 84

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Meanwhile the statisticians writing for UNECE, the United Nations Economic Commission forEurope,notedthatincountrieswithhighnumbersofwomeninthelabourforcethegenderpaygap isgreater(UNECE,2010).Clearlymoreresearchneedstobedoneonpossibleunintendedconsequencesofpoliciesandincentivesintendedtoimproveequalitybetweenwomenandmeninemployment(seeChapter6forrecommendationsforfutureresearch).

Birth leavesdointerruptamother'scareer,butputtingatimelimitonsalarysupporttendstodrawmothersbackintothelabourforceattheconclusionoftheleaveratherthandroppingoutof the work force for a more extended period of time (see Crosby & Hawkes, 2008 for acomparisonstudyofbirthleaveeffectonearlymaternalemploymentintheUKandUSA).

Parentingexperienceenhancesmanagerialabilities

It is frequently argued that a prolonged leave fromemployment causes amother to losejobcompetence and become less employable without further training to enhance employability.But whilejob requirements evolve with the passage of time, the skills and sensitivities of

mothers are also evolving. Skills developed through nurturing, communicating, leading,teaching,resolvingconflict,scheduling,interveningwithauthoritiesandservicesandotherwisemanaginghomeandchildrenandtheirdevelopmenthavewideapplicability inallbranchesofpaid employment. As Catelene Passchier, Confederal Secretary of the European Trade UnionConfederation, argued before the European Parliament, the informalqualificationsacquiredduringthefamilyphaseareundervaluedandunderrated(Passchier,2008).Awarenessofthisfact led the European Commission to launch the 20062009 FamCompass project whichdevelopedandtestedinstrumentstoevaluateskillslearnedinmanagingahomeandcaringforchildrenandtheelderly27.ArecentbestsellingbookisinfacttitledIfyoucanraisekids,youcanmanageanything(Crittenden,2004).

LifeSatisfaction

Thosewhoareemployedshowhigherlifesatisfactionthanthosewhoarenotemployed,evenwhen there are children in the household, provided that there is not an excessive workload,eitherfromprofessionalorfamilyobligations.Whenwomenexperiencesubstantialstressfromexcessiveworkload,thereislesslifesatisfactionthanwithhousewives(EurofoundEQLSII,2010:63).

Work/familybalanceformothersandfathersisindeedanimportantelementofqualityoflife.Halfoftheworkers intheEU indicatethatafterworktheyaresometimes tootiredtodothe

household

chores,

while

for

almost

a

quarter

of

workers,

this

happens

several

times

a

week

(EurofoundEQLSII,2010:30).

Concerninglifesatisfactionlevelsofmothers,the2010SurveyofMothersinEuropefoundthatmotherswhoareinfulltimeworkarelesslikelytobesatisfiedwithlifeasamotherthanthosemotherswhoareonmaternityleave,parentalleave,parttimeworkorfulltimeathome.

27 See http://www.famcompass.eu and http://www.hig.be for more information.

29
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VoicesofmothersfromtheSurveyofMothersinEurope:

Iamnotabletoseemydaughtergrowup,andIwonderwhyhavechildren?Itisarace24

hoursperdaywhichhasaneffectonfamily life. Ihavepermanent stressbecauseof the

difficultyofmanagingmyjobandmyfamily.There isa lotoffrustration involved,butwe

havenochoicebecauseweneedthemoneytosurvive.

Ihavetoriseat5:30eachmorning,wakethelittleonesat6:00tobeatthegarderieforthe

olderoneat7:00andthebabysitterforthebaby.Myhusband(whohasstartedhisdayat

4:30)picks them up at 17:30 and caresfor them until I return about 18:30.We are all

exhaustedandstressedout.

Mywork,includingthecommutetakesmuchtime.Iamoutofthehouse12hoursperday,

andIdontseemyhusbandorsoninthemorningbeforeleaving,andwhenreturninginthe

evenings,thetimemustbespentonmeals,baths,andbedtime.Thestressbuildsduringthe

dayandspillsoverathome,andthequalityofourrelationshipsuffers.

I am apharmacist and thereforemust keep business hourswhich do not coincidewith

schoolhours.Amothershelper transports the twochildren toandfromschoolandkeeps

themuntil20:00,andthenextmorningat7:00thedaybeginsagain.WeekspassandImiss

outonthespecialmomentswithmychildrenwhichoughttobeamothersjoy.

TherecentlypublishedEurofoundreporttitledSecondEuropeanQualityofLifeSurvey:Familylife andwork states that people in the Nordic countries, the Benelux countries and Francefoundthattheylacktimetocarryoutalltheirtasks,andthattimespentatworkcompeteswithtime thatshouldbespentwith family, friends,andpersonal interests.People in theGermanspeaking countries and AngloSaxon countries seemed to find it easier to balance work andfamilylife.Intheirreport,thisrelativeeaseisassociatedwiththelowerproportionofdualwageearnersincouplesandthesmallernumberofsinglemothersinemployment(EurofoundEQLSII,2010:54).

The

full

time

dual

earner

model

can

generate

considerable

stress

when

children

are

born.

Furtherstressdevelops in themother'syears between18and40,her seasonofchildbearingandchildrearing.Thisseasonwhenfamilydemandspeakhasbeendescribedastherushhouroflife.Combiningfulltimeworkwithchildrenathomeduringthisseasonoflife,requiresahighdegreeofenergythatsomeveryefficientmothersmayhave.Buttherearemanywhodonothavethestrengthorthewill28.

IsthefulltimedualearnermodeltobeencouragedbytheEUduringthewholecourseoffamilylife,orcanitbeacknowledgedthatthereareseasonsinthelifeoffamiliesthathavetobetakenintoaccount?(SeeChapter6fororrecommendationstopolicymakers.)

28 In Sweden a high incidence of early retirement of women due to psychosocial stress is noted; and

baseline assessments of stress at work and stress in the family were more important determinants of ill

health than were life-style (smoking, alcohol intake, and exercise) and standard risk factors (lipid and

hemostatic profile, blood pressure, and obesity). Orth-Gomr et al, 2005, in Lkartidningen Medical

journal. In France, Fatima Bouvet de la Maisonneuve, psychiatrist, who treats alcoholism in women says

that "burn-out" is the final stage of stress in women, who "over-invest in work and suffer a lack of

recognition in return." Three women for every two men suffer from it. The business world sanctions life-

choices, hours are not compatible with family life, and career advancement is frequently denied them.

http://madame.lefigaro.fr/societe/en-kiosque/3066-40-ans-femmes-au-bord-de-la-crise/1

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Chapter4CoupleandFamilyRelationships

ThefamilyisthenaturalandfundamentalgroupunitofsocietyandisentitledtoprotectionbysocietyandtheState

UniversalDeclarationofHumanRights,Article16(3)___.___

Europeansurveysinvestigatingwhatmattersmosttopeopleconsistentlyshowthatfamilyisthemost important value (Eurofound, 2007). Family relationships and connections are central tomost lives, and the family is where people turn when in need of help or care: Thefamilyremainsthefirstportofcallforpersonalsupportinemergencies(Eurofound,2007).

InChapter2,wealreadyaddressedthe importanceofparental involvementand its impactonchildrens behaviour, and their physical and psychological health. In this chapter, we willspecificallyfocusonmothersintheircouplerelationships,thecouplestransitiontoparenthood,

family

break

up,

ageing

and

multi

generational

relationships.

CoupleRelationships

According to various studies, the model of the family based on marriage is evolving into apluralityofforms,includingcouplesunitedincivilunionorcohabiting,and,increasingly,formsderivedfromthebreakdownofapreviousunion,suchassingleparentfamilies,stepfamilies,and single person households. This is particularly true of younger and older age groups. ForEuropeansinthemiddlegroupaged3549,however,themostcommonfamilyformishavingafatherandamotherwithchild(ren)(Eurofound,2007:16;EurostatYearbook,2009).

Nowadays,thecouplerelationshipisincreasinglylikelytobebasedonaffection,selfrealisation,equality,andautonomy.Bearingtheseassumptionsinmind,thelimitsandpurposesofaunionare likelytobesetasaresultoftheinterplaybetweentwoequalpartnerswhoremainunitedonly for as long as the union is fully satisfying and meets adults' emotional needs, with lessconsideration to providing for children's needs of security and attachment. Thus there isincreasing instability in couple relationships, along with a feeling of risktaking for a woman,that,intheeventofarupture,shemaybeleftalonetosupportandraisethechildren,andforaman,thathemaylosecontactwithhischildren(ANF2006;Lardellier,2009:63;Rutgers,2007).

RespondentsintheSurveyofMothersinEuropewereaskedtoratetheirpartnerrelationships,after which they were asked to rate a list of ten factors which may have an impact on their

couple relationship. Reporting a very good relationship were 56% of respondents, and agood relationship 35% for a total of 91%. The most frequently selected very importantfactor isRespect, loveandtolerance(92%).Thiswasfollowedbysharesamevalues(70%)andbeinginagreement/disagreementonhowtorearchildren(65%).Thefactorsreportedasimportant are financial situation (65%), relationshipwith your extendedfamily (parents,brothers/sisters,etc.)(57%)

wp2 mmm realities of mothers in europe1

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