writing 1133 - essay 1 final completed

8/7/2019 Writing 1133 - Essay 1 Final COMPLETED

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child to be taken advantage of because they're too scared to stick up for themselves or state their ideas,

which will of course only hurt them in the job market. Not to mention, in today's society, most people

tend to turn to the Internet for advice it's faster than buying and reading a book, and it's quick and

easy access. Upon looking on the Internet myself, it's clear to see where people's influence is coming

from many of the articles include labels such as Children and Shyness Keep Kids Healthy; 8

ways to help the shy child; and even My Child has a Problem Shyness. The articles discuss in

depth the symptoms of shyness in children, almost as if it is a sickness If your child has exhibited

shyness since infancy, fear of strangers and new situations, avoidance of eye contact, she probably has

a shy temperament style (Dr. Kimberly L. Keith). So upon these biased readings and the stress of

society, what is the real truth behind shyness in young children, should parents be worried, and what

are the causes of it?

Psychologists around the world, as well as recently in the Colorado/Denver area, have tested

multiple areas in the lives of young children (as well as their parents) to find the source of the shyness

in children, and determine the extremity of this issue. In the first experiment tested at the university,

eighty children, half of them male and half female, were tested for social withdrawal and interaction

during both ages four and seven. They also recorded the mother's interaction with the children and her

natural positivity levels, and how that affected their children. A second experiment tested the social

language skills in shy children versus children who are more outgoing. A final experiment performed at

the University of Northern Colorado by the school's psychology department tested whether children's

shyness resulted more from their nature their genes or their nurture how they were treated by their

family and the people around them, or how they were raised. The clear factors that seem to stand out

were that shyness is caused by the situation at home and/or the natural genetic make-up and their

emotional/psychological mindset.

The outcomes of the experiment were as follows: In the first experiment, the psychologists

came to the conclusion that the children's relationship with their mother did affect their own


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interactions with other children. They found that maternal positivity and negativity did directly

influence the children's social functioning, and not only that, but the overbearing parents who tended to

push their kids further out of their comfort zone and natural tendencies tended to perhaps become even

more shy.

Rubin et al. (2002) examined the role of parenting in the stability of behavioral inhibition from

the age of two to four and showed that the relation between behavioral inhibition in toddlerhood andreticence at the age of four was significant and positive for those children whose mothers were

psychologically over-controlling and derisive. Toddlers who were behaviorally inhibited but whose

mothers were neither controlling nor derisive were not likely to be reticent during the preschool years.

(Hane, Cheah, Rubin, Fox)

In the next trial, where experimenters tested the language skills of children depending on their levels of

shyness, psychologists discovered that though these children were less likely to speak up for

themselves, then they did, their speech was more sophisticated and polite than the more casual form of

those who were more outgoing. Lastly, experimenters discovered that both the nature of the child and

their home situation and environment will affect their levels of shyness. Ultimately, all three

experiments concluded that shyness (NOT social phobia) is not a disability, but the children that are

outgoing are simply more advanced when it comes to social situations.

Of course, this is not to say that shyness isn't a good thing, of course, but another natural trait,

and that there aren't abnormal forms of shyness that are truly a problem. When a child has a mild form

of shyness, they're usually less likely to be responsive and a little reluctant to speak up, but once they

start to get used to a situation, they'll grow braver and want to speak up themselves. However, it

becomes a problem when shyness becomes more severe like a social phobia: the child has a legitimate

fear speaking up, is distrustful of others and dislikes playing with other children, and may even nearly

make themselves sick in situations they don't feel comfortabel in. Like all things, there is a certain level

of extremity one can take an issue before it needs a more extensive solution than simply growing out of

it and this would be one of those cases. To solve this, it would be crucial to have a child perhaps

change their lifestyle in some way to make them more comfortable, and have them go through


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cognitive behavioral and/or exposure therapy to help them succeed in the world. However, the point I

mean to make is that the exaggeration of a child's shyness can easily be parent's controlling

overreaction, and in some cases as seen in the psychologists's studies in Colorado can cause the

child's anxiety and shyness to only increase, and cause a vicious cycle.

So, what we can we conclude from these experiments and hope to improve on in the future? In

society, it's easy for a parent to get wound up in their child trying to be perfect and trying to be the best

(instead of settling for average) because it seems how that is the only way to get a job and survive in

the world. However, we can now see that shyness is not always a disability and not something to try to

rid of as a parent, it's important to encourage your child and accept them no matter how outgoing they

may be. Like with anything, it's important to know the facts and consult a doctor or psychologist for

further specific information. Normality is a broad impossibility when it comes to human existence, and

shyness is just another trait that makes a person who they are.


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Works Cited

1. A.D.A.M. Inc., Social Phobia, Diseases and Conditions, Public Medical Health,National Center for Biotechnology Information, 2011, article.

2. Smith, Peter K. and Hart, Craig H., Childhood Social Development, Wiley-Blackwell

Publishing, 2002, print.

3. Hane, Amie Ashley; Cheah, Charrisa; Rubin, Kenneth H.; Fox, Nathan A., The Role of

Maternal Behavior in the Relation between Shyness and Social Reticence in EarlyChildhood and Social Withdrawal in Middle Childhood, Social Development, 2008,

article.

4. McDevitt, Teresa M.; Jobes, Rebecca D.; Cochran, Kathryn F.; Sheehan, Eugene P., Is

it nature or nurture? Beliefs about child development held by college studetns in

Psychology Courses, 2009, article.

5. Spere, Katherine A.; Schmidt, Louis A.; Theall-Honey, Laura A.; Martin-Chang, Sandra,Expressive and receptive language skills of temperamentally shy preschoolers, Infant

and Child Development, 2004, article.


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Peer Critic, Paper 1 Text-Based Essay

To start off with, the overall paper itself is based off of an interesting issue that most people

don't know about, and the way you discuss it seems to stay on-topic decently well. The points you bring

up and the information distributed throughout the essay are not things people would think of

immediately, and you name off quite a few of them. What also makes it a good paper is that you bring

up a multitude of solutions to the problem instead of just stating the issue at hand. You also do a great

job of comparing it to the situation of the world as well as strictly Colorado. In some spots there is a

shortage of consistency, however sometimes you go into detail about the situation and other times

you do not when more information is required to further your point. For example, you did a great job

explaining how the mountain beetle infects the trees and why they are a problem in the first place.

However, your introduction and conclusion were a little short when it came to summing up the paper in

terms of writing, and your thesis was a bit incomplete.

Then that leads to the question does the introduction capture the reader's attention?. I think

you could use a little work on the wording and the thesis, though you do a pretty good job of describing

the essence of the paper. Starting off with the sentence Colorado is known for its majestic

mountains which and vast forests of lodge poll pines is alright in terms of

structure, but to really capture the readers attention, you may want to be a bit

more dramatic when describing the destruction and devastation the pine beetles

will ultimately bring to the area to help draw the reader in. Though you do a good

job keeping consistent and an overall steady presentation of the facts you have

a clear argument that remains obvious to the reader sentence structure may be

what you're struggling with the most at this point. It can in no way be described

as bad, but it just seems a bit stiff and lacks decent flow that the paper could

use. Other than that, your evidence seems accurate and you post quite a few


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decent examples of how the beetles are causing problems in Colorado. You can

further your claims a bit more but for the most part it's to-the-point and

understandable. One thing to go into more detail about would be how the problem

is being solved, though I also thought it was interesting how you added the points

about the benefits of the beetle of course you still show that the cons outweigh

the pros, but it's good to give your argument more than one perspective. It's clear

that you used multiple articles through citation, but you didn't really cite the

authors or professionals as much, which would only help get your point across

more. Overall, just work on these things, especially sentence flow, and you'll have

a decent text-based paper by your final draft.

writing 1133 - essay 1 final completed

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