writing advice, part 1 of x feraco sfhp / myth/sci-fi 21 september 2011

Writing Advice, Part Writing Advice, Part 1 of X1 of XFeracoFeraco

SFHP / Myth/Sci-FiSFHP / Myth/Sci-Fi

21 September 201121 September 2011

Any good analytical essay features a Any good analytical essay features a compellingcompelling thesis that indicates what’s in thesis that indicates what’s in store to the readerstore to the reader

Some theses state the central idea Some theses state the central idea directly, while others settle for implying itdirectly, while others settle for implying it This is really a matter of personal preference This is really a matter of personal preference

on your parton your part As a result, your thesis contains the As a result, your thesis contains the

specific purpose for your essay – the point specific purpose for your essay – the point you’re trying to prove, the topic you’re you’re trying to prove, the topic you’re exploring, etc. – and reveals that purpose exploring, etc. – and reveals that purpose by addressing the promptby addressing the prompt If you’re choosing from several prompts, your If you’re choosing from several prompts, your

thesis should indicate which you’ve chosenthesis should indicate which you’ve chosen

Tip 1: Strengthening ThesesTip 1: Strengthening Theses

Tip 1: Strengthening ThesesTip 1: Strengthening Theses Write clearly and concisely. Overly wordy or Write clearly and concisely. Overly wordy or

confusing theses disrupt the reading experience.confusing theses disrupt the reading experience. You don’t want to spend time explaining the point that You don’t want to spend time explaining the point that

you could be using to prove it.you could be using to prove it. Assert something original. If the point you’re Assert something original. If the point you’re

making has already been made a hundred times making has already been made a hundred times before, why bother writing three pages about it?before, why bother writing three pages about it? For that matter, why would I bother reading three pages For that matter, why would I bother reading three pages

about it? about it? Avoid self-evident theses. The point you’re Avoid self-evident theses. The point you’re

making should require proof in order to deflect making should require proof in order to deflect skepticism; it shouldn’t be something that only a skepticism; it shouldn’t be something that only a crazy person could question or defendcrazy person could question or defend

Steer clear of “listing” theses. Instead of writing Steer clear of “listing” theses. Instead of writing a sentence that includes each of your major sub-a sentence that includes each of your major sub-points in succession, find the idea that unifies points in succession, find the idea that unifies them. them. That’sThat’s your thesis. your thesis.

A good thesis should contain elements from the A good thesis should contain elements from the ideas that form the structure of your body ideas that form the structure of your body paragraphs – but it doesn’t have to include paragraphs – but it doesn’t have to include everything!everything!

When it comes to determining your structure When it comes to determining your structure (and thesis), know your reader!(and thesis), know your reader!

Even though many are in the mindset that Even though many are in the mindset that homework helps reinforce student homework helps reinforce student learning, homework should be banned in learning, homework should be banned in schools all across the country because schools all across the country because students consider it busy work, it causes students consider it busy work, it causes stress, and it does not cause significant stress, and it does not cause significant academic improvement.academic improvement.


Even though many are in the Even though many are in the mindset that homework helps mindset that homework helps reinforce student learning, reinforce student learning, homework should be banned in homework should be banned in schools all across the country schools all across the country because students consider it because students consider it busy work, it causes stress, and busy work, it causes stress, and it does not cause significant it does not cause significant academic improvement.academic improvement.


What’s good about that thesis?What’s good about that thesis? We know what the paper will be We know what the paper will be

aboutabout We know how the five paragraphs We know how the five paragraphs

will be structuredwill be structured We know the author’s stanceWe know the author’s stance

What should be fixed?What should be fixed? It’s really, really longIt’s really, really long It’s overly specific!It’s overly specific! It’s not memorableIt’s not memorable


What links exist between those topics?What links exist between those topics? If you can find links, you can shorten your If you can find links, you can shorten your

thesis!thesis! What’s the main thrust of this paper going What’s the main thrust of this paper going

to be?to be? While it’s strong in many ways, it can be While it’s strong in many ways, it can be

streamlined and enhanced – particularly streamlined and enhanced – particularly since the main thrust of the paper since the main thrust of the paper (homework should be banned because it (homework should be banned because it isn’t effective) is so much simpler than the isn’t effective) is so much simpler than the actual thesisactual thesis

In fact, that sentence works (to an In fact, that sentence works (to an extent)!extent)!


Applying this “streamlining” principle to the Applying this “streamlining” principle to the rest of your writing can help you cut down on rest of your writing can help you cut down on fluff!fluff!

While fluff makes for excellent padding While fluff makes for excellent padding (hence down comforters, pillows, etc.), it’s (hence down comforters, pillows, etc.), it’s not nearly as useful when used to fill spacenot nearly as useful when used to fill space

Think of a hamburger: Awesome!Think of a hamburger: Awesome! Think of cotton candy: Awesome (in small Think of cotton candy: Awesome (in small

amounts)amounts) Now think of a hamburger covered with Now think of a hamburger covered with

cotton candy…cotton candy… ……not awesome.not awesome. Fluff is deadly to write and read; the act of Fluff is deadly to write and read; the act of

writing it bores you and saps your creativity, writing it bores you and saps your creativity, while audiences reading your work will feel while audiences reading your work will feel alienated or ignoredalienated or ignored

Tip #2: The Sharpie TestTip #2: The Sharpie Test

One way to avoid fluff – summary passages, One way to avoid fluff – summary passages, overexplanations, restated points that didn’t overexplanations, restated points that didn’t need reiteration, etc. – is to run what I call the need reiteration, etc. – is to run what I call the Sharpie test.Sharpie test.

Look at a given passage, and pretend I’m Look at a given passage, and pretend I’m hovering over it with a giant black marker. hovering over it with a giant black marker.

I’m going to eliminate your sentences, one by I’m going to eliminate your sentences, one by one, until you’re only left with one.one, until you’re only left with one.

Can you pick the one you’d preserve?Can you pick the one you’d preserve? This actually works best when you’re allowed to This actually works best when you’re allowed to

preserve three sentences. preserve three sentences. The three sentences you save should form the The three sentences you save should form the

crux of whatever point you’re trying to make in crux of whatever point you’re trying to make in that paragraph; everything else serves as that paragraph; everything else serves as connective tissue.connective tissue.

When we allow you to put a “redacted” sentence When we allow you to put a “redacted” sentence back in…does it still fit? Does it seem like the back in…does it still fit? Does it seem like the best possible sentence to connect A with B?best possible sentence to connect A with B?


Both the father in Both the father in WarWar and the father in and the father in SiddharthaSiddhartha are able to suppress their true feelings for their are able to suppress their true feelings for their respective sons. The father of the dead soldier respective sons. The father of the dead soldier conditions himself to believe that his son’s death is conditions himself to believe that his son’s death is honorable and a blessing, while Siddhartha’s father honorable and a blessing, while Siddhartha’s father allows Siddhartha to become a Samana against his allows Siddhartha to become a Samana against his own better judgment. But suppressed feelings own better judgment. But suppressed feelings always have a way of bubbling to the surface, like a always have a way of bubbling to the surface, like a capped volcano that just keeps building pressure. capped volcano that just keeps building pressure. In War, the father’s disillusion is shattered by the In War, the father’s disillusion is shattered by the woman in the train, and all his sorrow comes woman in the train, and all his sorrow comes rushing back. We often conceal true emotions for rushing back. We often conceal true emotions for the ones we love, either for their own good or to the ones we love, either for their own good or to prevent them from hurt, and in doing so, often feel prevent them from hurt, and in doing so, often feel a sense of noble self-pity for our “good” deed. a sense of noble self-pity for our “good” deed. Ultimately though, this practice harms both parties Ultimately though, this practice harms both parties more than it helps. Feelings are meant to be more than it helps. Feelings are meant to be expressed, ESPECIALLY with the ones that we love.expressed, ESPECIALLY with the ones that we love.


[Both the father in the War and the father of [Both the father in the War and the father of Siddhartha are able to suppress their true feelings Siddhartha are able to suppress their true feelings for their respective sons. The father of the dead for their respective sons. The father of the dead soldier conditions himself to believe that his son’s soldier conditions himself to believe that his son’s death is honorable and a blessing, while death is honorable and a blessing, while Siddhartha’s father allows Siddhartha to become a Siddhartha’s father allows Siddhartha to become a Samana against his own better judgment. But] Samana against his own better judgment. But] suppressed feelings [always] have a way of suppressed feelings [always] have a way of bubbling to the surface, like a capped volcano that bubbling to the surface, like a capped volcano that just keeps building pressure. [In War, the father’s just keeps building pressure. [In War, the father’s disillusion is shattered by the woman in the train, disillusion is shattered by the woman in the train, and all his sorrow comes rushing back.] We often and all his sorrow comes rushing back.] We often conceal true emotions for the ones we love, either conceal true emotions for the ones we love, either for their own good or to prevent them from hurt, for their own good or to prevent them from hurt, and in doing so, often feel a sense of noble self-and in doing so, often feel a sense of noble self-pity for our “good” deed. Ultimately [though], this pity for our “good” deed. Ultimately [though], this practice harms both parties more than it practice harms both parties more than it helps[. ]Feelings are meant to be expressed, helps[. ]Feelings are meant to be expressed, ESPECIALLY with the ones that we love.ESPECIALLY with the ones that we love.


Suppressed feelings have a way of bubbling to Suppressed feelings have a way of bubbling to the surface, like a capped volcano that just keeps the surface, like a capped volcano that just keeps building pressure. We often conceal true building pressure. We often conceal true emotions for the ones we love, either for their emotions for the ones we love, either for their own good or to prevent them from hurt, and in own good or to prevent them from hurt, and in doing so, often feel a sense of noble self-pity for doing so, often feel a sense of noble self-pity for our “good” deed. Ultimately, this practice harms our “good” deed. Ultimately, this practice harms both parties more than it helps, for feelings are both parties more than it helps, for feelings are meant to be expressed, ESPECIALLY with the meant to be expressed, ESPECIALLY with the ones that we love.ones that we love.

Does the imagery still work?Does the imagery still work? Does the universality?Does the universality? Do we still have points worth exploring?Do we still have points worth exploring? Do any of the observations seem insightful?Do any of the observations seem insightful? Have we lost anything by cutting the Have we lost anything by cutting the

introduction? Can we still make textual introduction? Can we still make textual references later?references later?


At times I feel as if I am “going through the At times I feel as if I am “going through the motions”. Every day we go through class periods motions”. Every day we go through class periods and are taught things without understanding and are taught things without understanding why. Yes, we may learn about different subjects why. Yes, we may learn about different subjects like science, language, history and writing, like science, language, history and writing, however I feel that most teachers give us no however I feel that most teachers give us no purpose as to why we are learning these purpose as to why we are learning these subjects. It seems to me students give effort for subjects. It seems to me students give effort for a grade, rather than an education. Which makes a grade, rather than an education. Which makes me wonder, what is the true purpose of high me wonder, what is the true purpose of high school? Is it a competition to get into college? Do school? Is it a competition to get into college? Do we go because we are forced to by law? Or is it we go because we are forced to by law? Or is it something more? I feel that the ideal of high something more? I feel that the ideal of high school has been lost. We teach classes about school has been lost. We teach classes about everything, except for why we teach them in the everything, except for why we teach them in the first place. first place.


writing advice, part 1 of x feraco sfhp / myth/sci-fi 21 september 2011

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