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WritingLevel 4

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2 • Writing

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Writing • 3

INTRODUCTION

HI!! It’s me again, EdWIN. You are about to beginLevel 4 of Writing. Now, if you have become acquaintedwith me before, you already know that I am not toohard of a task master. I don’t carry a whip around oranything, so don’t think you are about to be tortured.Let me ease your mind about what this level is all about.We are specifically concerned with the skills necessaryto communicate effectively with others as they relateto the workplace. We won’t be trying to write somethingakin to Great Expectations!

In the Levels 1, 2, and 3, we covered many of thebasics of writing. In this level, we will do some reviewand introduce several new topics. Now, don’t worry ifyou have just started working with me in this level.

It is my goal, as always, to be the best guide I can beto help you develop your writing skills to the pointthat you can go into any workplace situation withconfidence. Working together, I know we can succeed.

So, without further ado, let’s begin ... are you ready?OK, then, turn the page.

Hello, I’m EdWIN!

4 • Writing

LESSON 1 The Basics

LESSON 2 Conjunction Review

LESSON 3 Audience and Purpose

LESSON 4 Clear and Concise

LESSON 5 Writing and Revising

LESSON 6 Formal and Informal

LESSON 7 Listening and Writing

LESSON 8 Paragraph Development

LESSON 9 Proofreading and Peer Editing

LESSON 10 Posttest

REFERENCE Test-Taking Tips

OUTLINE

Writing • 5

THE BASICS

This section provides an overview of basic rules andpractices of grammar. It is a review of WIN WritingLevels 1, 2, and 3. If you complete this lesson and feelyou need more practice in these areas, I wouldrecommend reviewing these levels before continuingin Level 4. Let’s get started and see how you do.

RULES FOR CAPITALIZATION

Almost nothing is more confusing, time consumingand frustrating than trying to read a note, memo orletter that does not use proper capitalization. Capitalletters denote importance of a particular word and alsoenable the reader to recognize main words in sentencesat a glance. In other words, it makes a specific wordstand out from the rest.

All proper nouns (names or persons, places, orthings) are capitalized. Also, the first word in a sentenceis always capitalized whether it is a proper noun ornot.

Other words that are capitalized include:

• The pronoun, I.• The first, last, and important words in a title of

a song, book, magazine, etc.• Names of a relationship when they are part ofor a substitute for a person’s name. It is notcapitalized if a possessive pronoun precedes it.(Example: We visited Granddaddy over the holidays.We visited my granddaddy over the holidays.)

LESSON 1

6 • Writing

Prepositions, articles, and conjunctions are notcapitalized unless they are the first or last word of atitle. Never capitalize a term of endearment. (Example:Don’t get mad, honey, I was only kidding.)

COMPLETE SENTENCES

Complete sentences allow us to present a clear andcomplete idea through our writing. Sentence fragmentsare sometimes used intentionally and effectively increative writing or advertising, but for the workplacesetting they are not generally acceptable.

A complete sentence will always contain at least asubject and a verb, and in most cases an object. Theobject gives further information and is usually essentialin getting across the point, but it is not integral tomaking a complete sentence.

Look at these examples:

I baked. (contains a subject and verb, but doesn’tgive much information)I baked cakes. (contains a subject, verb, and object,giving us an important detail)

Both examples are complete sentences.

The other basic rules of sentence constructionconcern capitalization and punctuation. All sentencesbegin with a capital letter and all sentences end with aperiod, question mark, or exclamation point.

LESSON 1

Writing • 7

When writing, proofread your work and ask thesesimple questions:

1. Is there a subject and verb?2. Does each sentence begin with a capital letter?3. Does each sentence have ending punctuation?

If you can answer “yes” to each of the abovequestions, then all of your sentences are complete andcorrect in form.

COMMAS, RUN-ON SENTENCES, ANDSENTENCE FRAGMENTS

The Unnecessary Comma

A common mistake many people make whenwriting sentences is using commas too frequently.When you talk, your voice pauses, rises, and adds otheremphasis to your words. When you write, punctuationmarks tell the reader when to pause or add certainemphasis to words. The comma’s main purpose is to showa pause in the writing, allowing the reader to grasp orclarify an idea before going on to the next part of thesentence. Many times, writers will use too manycommas, which will break up a thought or main idea,making it unclear and hard to interpret.

LESSON 1

8 • Writing

The Unnecessary Comma - Example:

We drove the van, through two states, before wereached our final destination.

Notice that the quote, “through two states”, has beenset apart in this sentence by commas. By doing this,the writer implies that the reader should pause whenreading the sentence. This makes the sentence awkwardto read. Now read the corrected version.

Example:

We drove the van through two states before wereached our final destination.

This is much easier to interpret.

Unnecessary commas are a common error inwriting. Unfortunately, most of us tend to overusecommas, intending to be creative and entertainingtowards our audience. Instead, all we succeed in doingis confusing them!

LESSON 1

Writing • 9

COMMA SPLICES

Comma splices are also common errors. This iswhere you incorrectly use a comma to join twoindependent clauses. These can be easily corrected.

Examples:

Comma Splice:

I went to the mall, I went to the grocery store.

Correct by adding a conjunction:

I went to the mall and I went to the grocery store.

Correct by adding a period:

I went to the mall.I went to the grocery store.

Correct by adding a subordinating clause.

After I went to the mall, I went to the grocery store.

There are many ways to correct comma splices, sobe on the lookout for these in your writing.

LESSON 1

10 • Writing

Run-on sentences are very easy to spot. We coveredrun-on sentences in Writing Level 3 and we said theyare sentences that just go on and on and never endcausing the reader to quickly lose the main idea of thesentence because by the time he has finished reading ithe has already forgotten what the beginning was andthe he has to go back and start all over again trying tofigure out what the writer was trying to tell him in thefirst place and he just gets so frustrated because hedoesn’t have time to read the sentence over and overagain because he has other work to do and just doesn’twant to fool with it anymore. Need I say more?

Naturally a sentence like the one above should beavoided at all times. Break up a long sentence by makingit into several sentences. You can combine shortsentences or thoughts with coordinating orsubordinating clauses to provide more interestingreading. Too many simple sentences promote boringreading, so a combination of simple, compound, andcomplex sentences is the best construction.

Remember the “read it yourself” rule. If it soundstoo long or spliced, rewrite it.

LESSON 1

Writing • 11

Fragmented sentences are also easy to spot. Theyusually are missing one or more parts and they do notconvey a clear idea. You can avoid this mistake by simplyreading it yourself and making the necessarycorrections.

Fragmented sentence:

Argue with umpires.

This is a fragmented sentence because there is nosubject.

Complete sentence:

Baseball players argue with umpires.

Let’s practice what we’ve reviewed.

LESSON 1

12 • Writing

EXERCISE – COMMAS, RUN-ON SENTENCES, SENTENCEFRAGMENTS, AND COMMA SPLICES

Instructions: Circle 3 problems in this paragraph. Look for incomplete sentences, run-onsentences, fragments, and comma splices. Rewrite them correctly in the spacebelow.

Transitional words and expressions are used to help lead thereaders from one thought to another. A transitional word orexpression simply shows. How ideas relate to one another.They are like a bridge that connects two sides of a river, theyhelp you get from one idea to another in a sentence. Theyalso bridge ideas, within paragraphs and between paragraphs.Transitions help create flow and direction in a letter or report.They keep the document moving logically and clearly andkeep the reader’s attention.

1 -__________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

2 -_________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

3 -__________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

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Writing • 13

LESSON 1

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14 • Writing

EXERCISE – COMMAS, RUN-ON SENTENCES, SENTENCEFRAGMENTS, AND COMMA SPLICES

Solution:

The 3 problems are corrected and underlined.

Transitional words and expressions are used to help lead the readers from onethought to another. A transitional word or expression simply shows how ideasrelate to one another. They are like a bridge that connects two sides of a riverthey help you get from one idea to another in a sentence. They also bridge ideaswithin paragraphs and between paragraphs. Transitions help create flow anddirection in a letter or report. They keep the document moving logically andclearly and keep the reader’s attention.

LESSON 1

Writing • 15

COMMONLY MISSPELLED OR MISUSEDWORDS

Misspelled and misused words can cause yourmessage in business writing to be ineffective andincorrect. When writing, it is important to ensure thewords you choose are appropriate to meaning andclarity. Since there are many, many words that can beused or spelled incorrectly, I will not attempt to listthem all here. I will give you a list of some of the mostcommon ones, though, a little later in our text. Manytimes the words are simply homonyms, and you haveused the incorrect spelling, which, of course, will thencarry a completely different meaning. Take the wordswho’s and whose. Who’s going to the mall? Whose booksare these? Who’s is the contraction for who is and whoseis possessive for who. See how mixing up these twowords could throw off your entire message?

The best way to avoid these types of mistakes is tobe sure of the meaning that you are trying to convey inany message. Then, having this firmly in mind, youcan check each spelling in the dictionary to confirmthe proper word to use. Since the meanings andspellings of these words are always different, it will bepretty easy to spot them if they do not fit the contextof your message. Always check the following wordsduring the proofreading and editing phase of yourwork.

LESSON 1

16 • Writing

Here is a list of commonly misused words:

Common Homonyms

all ready alreadycanvas canvasscapital capitolcite sight sitecourse coarsecomplementcomplimentcouncil counseldesert dessertholy wholly holeyprincipal principlesale sail sellstationarystationerytheir there they’rethrone thrownweak weekweather whetherwhose who’s

Troublesome Words

accept exceptaccess excessadverse averseadvice adviseaffect effectallusion illusionbreath breatheelicit illiciteminent imminentfaith fatehave ofits it’slie layloose losemoral moralepersonal personnelquiet quitesit setthan thentheir there they’reto too twowere wherewho’s whoseyour you’re

LESSON 1

Writing • 17

You may remember all of the spelling rules, or youmay not! I know I have trouble with them from timeto time. So, for review, we will briefly discuss them.

Rule 1Use i before e,Except after c,Or when sounded like aAs in neighbor or weigh.

Example:friend, fiendpiece, tiereceipt, deceive

Of course, there are always exceptions to most rules and the exceptionsto the above verse are these:

ei exceptions: either, foreign, forfeit, height, leisure, and neither

ie exceptions: ancient, efficient

Rule 2

Form the plurals of nouns and the s forms of verbs ending in y in theseways:

a.When a noun or verb ends in y preceded by a consonant, change they to i and add es.

Example:mystery to mysteries; berry to berries; carry to carries

b. When a word ends in y preceded by a vowel, add s.

LESSON 1

18 • Writing

Example:boy to boys; key to keys; pay to pays

c. When a proper noun ends in y, add s.

Example:Kennedy to Kennedys

Rule 3

Do the following when adding a suffix to a word that ends in a silent e.

a.When the suffix begins with a vowel, drop the silent e.

Example:live to living or livable; bake to baker or baking

b. When a word ends in ce or ge, keep the silent e when it is needed tomaintain the soft sound of c or g.

Example:manage to manageable

Exceptions to this rule are:judge to judgmentacknowledge to acknowledgment

Rule 4

When adding a suffix that begins with a vowel, it sometimes isnecessary to double the consonant.

a.When a one-syllable word ends with a consonant preceded by a singlevowel, double the consonant: This applies only when the suffix beginswith a vowel.

LESSON 1

Writing • 19

Examples:hop to hoppingwin to winnerstar to starred

b. When a word of two or more syllables ends in a single consonantpreceded by a single vowel, and when the final syllable is accented,double the consonant when adding a suffix.

Examples:rebel to rebelliouscontrol to controlled

c. When a word of two or more syllables does not have the accent onthe final syllable, the consonant should not be doubled.

Example:travel to travelershovel to shoveler

Rule 5

To form noun plurals and the third person singular form of presenttense verbs:

a. In most cases, add s

Examples:pencil to pencilsjump to jumps

b. When the word ends in s, sh, ch, x, or z, add es.

Examples:brush to brushesbox to boxeswatch to watches

LESSON 1

20 • Writing

COMMONLY MISSPELLED WORDS

Aabsence acquaintance analysis/analyzeabsorption across angel/angleabundance address annualaccessible advice/advise apparentaccidentally aggravate appearanceacclaim allotted argumentaccommodate a lot atheistaccomplish all right attendanceaccumulate already auxiliaryachievement amateur

Bballoon believe breathebarbiturate benefited Britainbargain biscuit buoyantbasically bouillon bureaucracybeggar boundary businessbeginning breadth/breath

Ccalendar colossal consciousnesscamouflage column consensuscantaloupe coming consistentcapital/capitol committee continuouscemetery commitment controlledchagrined comparative coollychallenge/challengeable competent corollarycharacteristic completely correlatechanging concede correspondencechief conceive council/counselchoose/chose condemn counselorcigarette condescend courteousclimbed conscience courtesycolonel conscientious criticize

LESSON 1

Writing • 21

Ddeceive desperate disappointdefendant develop disastrousdeferred developed disciplinedefinitely development diseasedependent/dependant dilemma dissatisfieddescend dining dominantdesirable disappearance drunkennessdespair

Eeasily environment exhaustecstasy equipped exhilarateefficiency equivalent existenceeighth especially expenseeligible exaggerate experimentembarrass exceed explanationeminent excellence extremelyenemy exuberanceentirely

Ffallacious fiery forfeitfallacy finally formerlyfamiliar financially fortyfascinate forcibly fourthFebruary foreign fulfillfictitious foresee fundamentally

Ggauge governor guardgenerally grammar guerrillagenius grievous guidancegovernment guarantee

Hhandkerchief hemorrhage hopinghappily heroes humorousharass hesitancy hypocrisyheight hindrance hypocriteheinous hoarse

LESSON 1

22 • Writing

Iideally independent interferenceidiosyncrasy indicted interpretignorance indispensable interruptimaginary inevitable introduceimmediately inoculate irrelevantimplement insurance irresistibleincidentally intelligence islandincredible intercede

Jjealousy judicial judgmentjewelry

Kknowledge

Llaboratory license literallylegitimate lieutenant lonelinessleisure lightning looselength likelihood loselenient likely luxury

Mmagazine medieval misspelledmaintain millionaire mortgagemaintenance miniature mosquitomanageable minor mosquitoesmaneuver minutes murmurmarriage mischievous musclemathematics missile mysteriousmedicine

Nnarrative neutron noticeablenaturally niece nowadaysnecessity ninety nuclearneighbor ninth nuisanceneither

LESSON 1

Writing • 23

Oobedience omission oppressionobstacle omit optimismoccasionally omitted ordinarilyoccurred opinion originoccurrence opponent outrageousofficial opportunity overrun

Ppanicky piece prevalentparallel pitiful primitiveparliament planning principleparticularly playwright privilegepeaceable possessive probablypeculiar potato procedurepenetrate potatoes proceedperceive practically processperformance prairie professorpermanent precede prominentpermissible preceding pronouncepermitted predominant pronunciationperseverance preference propagandapersistent preferred prophecy/prophesyphysical prejudice psychologyphysician preparation publiclypicnicked prescription pursue

Qquandary questionnaire quizzesquarantine

Rrealistically really receiptrealize recede receiverecognize religious reservoirrecommend remembrance resistancereference reminiscence restaurantreferred repetition rheumatismrelevant representative rhythmicalrelieving resemblance roommate

LESSON 1

24 • Writing

Ssacrifice skeptical subtlesafety skiing succeedsalary soliloquy successionsatellite sophomore sufficientscenery souvenir summaryschedule specifically supersedesecede specimen suppresssecretary sponsor surpriseseize spontaneous surroundseparate statistics susceptiblesergeant stopped suspiciousseveral strategy syllableshining strength symbolsimile strenuous symmetricalsimply stubbornness synonymoussincerely subordinate

Ttangible themselves tournamenttechnical theories tourniquettechnique therefore tragedytemperature thorough transferredtenant though trulytendency through twelfththan/then till tyrannytheir/there/they’re tomorrow

Uunanimous unnecessary usageunconscious until usuallyundoubtedly

Vvacuum vengeance villainvaluable vigilant violencevaries village visible

LESSON 1

Writing • 25

Wwarrant wherever womenweather/whether wholly writingWednesday whose/who’s writtenweird woman

XYZyacht your/you’re zoologyyield

LESSON 1

26 • Writing

NOUNS

A noun is the name of a person, place, or thing.There are two types of nouns: proper nouns andcommon nouns. A proper noun names a specificperson, place, or thing. For example, Charles Bronson,Buckingham Palace, and the Democratic Party, areproper nouns. These are almost always capitalized.Common nouns name everything else and they areusually not capitalized. Cat, chair, computer, dress, andtruck are just a few common nouns.

PARTS OF SPEECH

PRONOUNS

Pronouns are substitutes for nouns. They changeform according to their function. Some examples ofpronouns are:

he/him her/shethem ityou I/me/minewe/us everyone

They provide the ability to avoid clumsiness andredundancy in sentences. When you are speaking, youdo not repeat a person’s name over and over in asentence or group of sentences because it quicklybecomes awkward and bulky. For example, if I were totell you, “Sam went hunting and Sam shot a deer.”That’s awkward and very unnecessary. A better waywould be “Sam went hunting and he shot a deer.” Heis a pronoun that serves as a substitute for the nounSam.

LESSON 1

Writing • 27

EXERCISE – NOUNS AND PRONOUNS

Instructions: Underline or circle the NOUNS in the following sentences.

1. Brandon is the manager of the shoe department.

2. He works long hours at the store.

3. Sharon walks her dog at least once a day.

4. Joe ran for class president but they did not elect him.

5. A red mustang convertible is her favorite car.

Instructions: Underline or circle the PRONOUNS in the following sentences.





LESSON 1

28 • Writing

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE – NOUNS AND PRONOUNS

1. Brandon is the manager of the shoe department.

Answer: Brandon, manager, department


Answer: hours, store


Answer: Sharon, dog, day


Answer: Joe, president


Answer: convertible, car


Answer: He


Answer: her


Answer: they, him


Answer: her

LESSON 1

Writing • 29

PRONOUN PROBLEMS

Using pronouns for simple substitutions of nounsis pretty easy to understand. However, there are certainpronouns that tend to cause a tremendous amount ofdifficulty when trying to determine the correct way touse them in a sentence. Some of the more difficultpronouns to work with include that and which; it’s andits; you’re and your; who’s and whose; who and whom;everybody and nobody; and their, they’re, and theirs.

The following page has a few rules to help you whenfaced with one of these dilemmas.

That or Which?

Look at the following two sentences:

Nobody enjoys being around a child that cries allthe time.OrNobody enjoys being around a child which cries allthe time.

Which sentence is correct? This is a commonproblem that most people have trouble with. Here aretwo rules to help you figure out when to use “that” or“which”.

LESSON 1

30 • Writing

Rules for which vs. that:

1. If you can drop the clause and not lose the pointof the sentence, use which. If you can’t, use that.2. A which clause goes inside commas. A that clausedoesn’t.

Nobody enjoys being around a child that cries allthe time.OrNobody enjoys being around a child which cries allthe time.

The point of the sentence is that people don’t likebeing around a child that cries all the time. If weremoved the that or which clause, look what happensto the sentence. “Nobody enjoys being around a child.”The sentence misses the point without the clause. Sinceit can’t be dropped from the sentence without losingthe point, use that.

Correct: Nobody enjoys being around a child thatcries all the time.

It’s or Its

Knowing when to use it’s and its gives many peopleproblems. Often, when a word has an apostrophe, it ispossessive. However, apostrophes can also representwhen something has been omitted, like in contractions.It’s is a contraction for it is. Its is the possessive form.The rule to remember when trying to determine whento use it’s and when to use its is simple:

If you can substitute it is, use it’s.

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Writing • 31

Who’s or Whose?

This is very similar to the it’s or its problem.Remember, who’s is short for who is and whose is thepossessive form.

If you can substitute who is, use who’s.

You’re or Your?

This is another example of a possessive form versusa contraction. You’re is short for you are and your is thepossessive form.

If you can substitute you are, use you’re.

Who or Whom?

Who and whom are another pair that provides atremendous amount of confusion. A good rule toremember is that who does something (it’s a subject)and whom has something done to it (it’s an object, likehim). A good way to help distinguish between who andwhom, is to ask who is doing what to whom.

LESSON 1

32 • Writing

EXERCISE – IDENTIFYING THE CORRECT PRONOUNS

Instructions: Choose the correct word to complete the following sentences.

1. Sam’s collie, (which, that) has one bent ear, won first place in thedog show.

a. whichb. that

2. (Its, It’s) suppose to be an easy problem.a. Itsb. It’s

3. (Your, You’re) my favorite cousin.

a. Yourb. You’re

4. The package is for (who, whom)?a. whob. whom

5. There’s the dog (that, which) won the Frisbee competition.

a. thatb. which

6. (Who, Whom) is your favorite teacher?

a. Whob. Whom

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Writing • 33

7. Morris is a cat (that, which) knows what he likes.

a. thatb. which

8. He is the man (who, whom) wanted the job.

a. whob. whom

9. (Who’s, Whose) tools are on my workbench?

a. Who’sb. Whose

10. James is working for (who, whom)?

a. whob. whom

LESSON 1

34 • Writing

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE – IDENTIFYING THE CORRECT PRONOUNS

Instructions: Choose the correct word to complete the following sentences.

1. Sam’s collie, (which, that) has one bent ear, won first place in thedog show.

a. whichb. that

Answer: a

2. (Its, It’s) suppose to be an easy problem.a. Itsb. It’s

Answer: b

3. (Your, You’re) my favorite cousin.

a. Yourb. You’re

Answer: b

4. The package is for (who, whom)?a. whob. whom

Answer: b

5. There’s the dog (that, which) won the Frisbee competition.

a. thatb. which

Answer: a

LESSON 1

Writing • 35

6. (Who, Whom) is your favorite teacher?

a. Whob. Whom

Answer: a

7. Morris is a cat (that, which) knows what he likes.

a. thatb. which

Answer: a

8. He is the man (who, whom) wanted the job.

a. whob. whom

Answer: a

9. (Who’s, Whose) tools are on my workbench?

a. Who’sb. Whose

Answer: b

10. James is working for (who, whom)?

a. whob. whom

Answer: b

LESSON 1

36 • Writing

VERBS

Verbs show action, occurrence, or existence (stateof being). The verb’s job is to convey what is going onin the sentence.

I am a singer.

The crowd cheered after her performance.

There are two kinds of verbs: action verbs andlinking verbs. An action verb shows something beingdone or an action of some kind. A linking verb showsstate of being and links or connects the subject to itsobject.

Verbs can be more than one word. A helping verbworks with the main verb. A main verb is the mostimportant verb. The helping verb adds moreinformation to the main verb.

Here are some rules for using helping verbs:

1. When the helping verb is am, is, are, was, orwere, the main verb ends in ing.2. When the helping verb is has, have, or had, themain verb often ends in ed.

LESSON 1

Writing • 37

EXERCISE – ACTION AND LINKING VERBS

Instructions: Answer the following questions.

1. What is the verb in the following sentence?

Mr. Johnson teaches math at St. Paul’s High School.

a. Johnsonb. teachesc. mathd. at

2. In the following sentence, is the verb “teaches” an action verb orlinking verb?


a. actionb. linking


Sam is the leading pitcher for the team.

a. Samb. isc. leadingd. for

LESSON 1

38 • Writing

4. In the following sentence, is the verb “is” an action verb or linkingverb?


a. actionb. linking


Allison scored the most goals in Saturday’s soccer game.

a. scoredb. mostc. ind. soccer

6. In the following sentence, is the verb “scored” an action verb orlinking verb?


a. actionb. linking


Samantha is a computer programmer.

a. isb. computerc. programmer

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Writing • 39



a. actionb. linking


They were the only people in the office.

a. Theyb. werec. onlyd. in

10. In the following sentence, is the verb “were” an action verb or linkingverb?


a. actionb. linking

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40 • Writing

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE – ACTION AND LINKING VERBS




a. Johnsonb. teachesc. mathd. at

Answer: b

2. In the following sentence, is the verb “teaches” an action verb orlinking verb?


a. actionb. linking

Answer: a



a. Samb. isc. leadingd. for

Answer: b

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Writing • 41



a. actionb. linking

Answer: b



a. scoredb. mostc. ind. soccer

Answer: a

6. In the following sentence, is the verb “scored” an action verb orlinking verb?


a. actionb. linking

Answer: a

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42 • Writing



a. isb. computerc. programmer

Answer: a



a. actionb. linking

Answer: b



a. Theyb. werec. onlyd. in

Answer: b

LESSON 1

Writing • 43

10. In the following sentence, is the verb “were” an action verb or linkingverb?


a. actionb. linking

Answer: b

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44 • Writing

EXERCISE – MAIN AND HELPING VERBS

Instructions: Identify the main verb in the following sentences.

1. I was going to walk during my break.

a. goingb. walk

2. The mechanic is changing the battery in the car.

a. changingb. in

3. Robert has driven the van to the shop.

a. tob. driven

4. I have questioned their plans for the project.

a. haveb. questioned

5. The children are swimming in the pool.

a. swimmingb. are

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Writing • 45

Instructions: Identify the helping verb in the following sentences.


a. wasb. during


a. changingb. is


a. tob. has


a. questionedb. have


a. inb. are

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46 • Writing

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE – MAIN AND HELPING VERBS

Instructions: Identify the main verb in the following sentences.


a. goingb. walk

Answer: a.


a. changingb. in

Answer: a.


a. tob. driven

Answer: b.


a. haveb. questioned

Answer: b.


a. swimmingb. are

Answer: a.

LESSON 1

Writing • 47

Instructions: Identify the helping verb in the following sentences.


a. wasb. during

Answer: a.


a. changingb. is

Answer: b.


a. tob. has

Answer: b.


a. questionedb. have

Answer: b.


a. inb. are

Answer: b.

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48 • Writing

ADJECTIVES

Adjectives are descriptive words that modify orqualify nouns and pronouns. A modifier is a word thatcan change the meaning of nouns, pronouns, and verbsby adding or limiting information. An adjective canadd interest, detail, color, etc., to your writing.Adjectives answer the questions which, what kind, orhow many.

Examples:

The van drove over the rough bumpy road.The package was wrapped with a bright red bow.

ADVERBS

An adverb is also a modifying word. It is a wordthat modifies a verb, an adjective, or another adverb ina sentence. An adverb answers one of five questionsabout the word or phrase that it is modifying. Thosequestions are how, when, where, how often, or to whatextent. Let’s look at a few examples of adverbs.

Examples:

They drove home quickly. (How?)The soccer team played yesterday. (When?)Alexander was very excited. (To what extent?)

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Writing • 49

Let’s discuss one last thing about adverbs. The wordnot is an adverb; it means no. Never use two wordsthat mean no in the same sentence. This is called adouble negative and is never correct.

Examples:

Incorrect – I don’t have no money for tickets.Correct – I have no money for tickets.

PREPOSITIONS

In many sentences, special words join or show theconnections between other words. A preposition is aconnecting word. The preposition is usually followedby a noun or a pronoun that is called the object of thepreposition. Together, the preposition, the object, andthe modifiers form a prepositional phrase. The mostcommon prepositions are at, by, for, from, in, of, on, to,and with.

Examples:

There is a VCR in the van.The squirrel ran by the tree.

LESSON 1

50 • Writing

LESSON 1

CONJUNCTIONS

A conjunction is also a connecting word. It connectswords, groups of words, or clauses. The most commonconjunctions are and, but, for, nor, or, so, and yet.

Examples:

Bo and Meagan are good friends.Would you like lobster or fish for dinner?I bought the present, but I didn’t have time to wrapit.

INTERJECTIONS

There are many words or phrases that are used toexpress strong feelings. Words that function in thismanner are called interjections. They can stand alone(usually followed by an exclamation point), or they canbe used within a sentence, set off by commas.

Examples:

No! You cannot go.Oh, please forgive me.

Although interjections come in handy when youwant to show strong emotion in your writing, theyshould be used sparingly. In writing for businesspurposes, too many interjections can be a hindrance.Creative writing will use the interjection more often inmany cases, and this is permissible because this type ofwriting has a different purpose and audience. But formost business purposes, use of the interjection shouldbe limited.

Writing • 51

LESSON 1

SUBJECT – VERB AGREEMENT

For a sentence to be clear, the subject and its verbmust agree. The basic principle to remember here is:

Singular subjects need singular verbs, and pluralsubjects need plural verbs.

Examples:

My sister is a chemical engineer.My brothers are doctors.

In some sentences it may be hard to decide whetherthe subject is singular or plural. The following pagescontain some guidelines to go by to help you do this.

52 • Writing

LESSON 1

Guidelines to determine whether the subject is pluralor singular:

Compound subjects joined by and are usuallyplural.

Brandon and Bo are excellant students.

Use a singular verb with a compound subject thatrefers to one person or one thing.

This year’s most popular player and speakerwas here on Saturday to sign autographs. (Noticethat “player” and “speaker” are the same person.)

A compound subject that is singular and isconnected by the word or/nor will use the singularverb.

My aunt and my cousin plans to attend thereunion.

A compound subject that is plural and is connectedby the word or/nor will use the plural form of theverb.

Neither my aunts nor my cousins plan toattend the reunion.

When a compound subject contains both a pluralform and a singular form, use the form of thesubject that is closest to the verb form.

Neither the truckers nor the machinist hasvacation days left.

Nouns that have plural forms even though theyare considered singular use plural verb forms.

The glasses are on the dresser.

Writing • 53

LESSON 1

When the sentence has the verb coming beforethe subject, it is sometimes difficult to locate thesubject.

Here’s a tip for locating the subject in thesecases: Change the sentence around so that theaction comes after the subject. Then it will be easierto make the subject and verb agree.

There are many cars on the highway.(Think: cars are on the highway.)

When using the adjective “every” to modify thesubject, use a singular verb form. Every meansevery single one takes a singular verb.

Every man and woman receives the sametreatment.

When using the adjective “many” to modify thesubject, always use the plural form of the verb.

Many teachers attend the conference.

Modifiers are sometimes placed between thesubject and verb and can cause confusion whendetermining singular or plural. Take the modifierout to ensure the subject and verb agree.

The computer, as well as its connections,was hit by lightening.(Eliminate the modifier “as well as all itsconnections” to determine which verb tenseshould be used.)

I am sure this sounds like quite a few rules toremember, but don’t panic. Most of the time when youread or hear a sentence, you can determine if the subjectand verb agree by listening to how it sounds. Whenyou are writing for the workplace, you will check yoursubject-verb agreement as part of your proofreading.After you have done this for a while, it will be noproblem for you.

54 • Writing

EXERCISE – VERB FORM

Instructions: Determine the correct verb form to use in the following sentences.

1. My husband and children (is, are) going to the circus.

a. isb. are

2. Neither Stewart nor Ronnie (play, plays) in the band.

a. playb. plays

3. Entertainment and information (comes, come) into many homes byway of a computer.

a. comesb. come

4. Many plants (requires, require) direct sunlight.

a. requiresb. require

5. There (are, is) few pecans in the dessert.

a. areb. is

LESSON 1

Writing • 55

6. The boy, along with his teammates, (like, likes) the coach.a. likeb. likes

7. The suitcase, as well as its contents, (was, were) gone.

a. wasb. were

8. The picnic lunch, right down to the tablecloth, (was, were) ruined bythe rain.

a. wasb. were

LESSON 1

56 • Writing

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE – VERB FORM

Instructions: Determine the correct verb form to use in the following sentences.

1. My husband and children (is, are) going to the circus.

a. isb. are

Answer: b

2. Neither Stewart nor Ronnie (play, plays) in the band.

a. playb. plays

Answer: b

3. Entertainment and information (comes, come) into many homes byway of a computer.

a. comesb. come

Answer: b

4. Many plants (requires, require) direct sunlight.

a. requiresb. require

Answer: b

LESSON 1

Writing • 57

5. There (are, is) few pecans in the dessert.

a. areb. is

Answer: a

6. The boy, along with his teammates, (like, likes) the coach.

a. likeb. likes

Answer: b

7. The suitcase, as well as its contents, (was, were) gone.

a. wasb. were

Answer: a

8. The picnic lunch, right down to the tablecloth, (was, were) ruined bythe rain.

a. wasb. were

Answer: a

LESSON 1

58 • Writing

LESSON 2

Tip: Using conjunctionswill give variety to your

sentence structure.

CONJUNCTION REVIEW

If you were with me in earlier levels of Writing, youknow that we have spent a fair amount of time withsubordinating and coordinating conjunctions. Sincethese connecting words are the building blocks ofeffective sentence structure, we will spend a little moretime in this level reviewing and practicing using them.

If you are starting your studies with me on this level,you may need to refresh your memory aboutconjunctions. If you have been moving along with mefrom the first level; then that’s great. You’re already astep ahead. But watch out! You better review thisbecause there might be a new thing or two!

COORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS

The simplest way of combining sentences is calledcompounding. Compounding combines sentences byjoining them together with coordinating conjunctions.The most common coordinating conjunctions are:

and, or, nor, but, for, so, and yet.

There are a variety of ways to create a compoundsentence using these conjunctions.

Example:

My father is a dentist.My mother is a writer.Combined: My father is a dentist, and mymother is a writer.

Writing • 59

Notice the comma placed before the coordinatingconjunction. When combining two complete sentences(also called independent clauses) you always place acomma before the conjunction. Different conjunctionsmay be used.

Example:

My father is a dentist, but my mother is a writer.

You may also use conjunctions to combine sentenceparts, but they do not make a compound sentence.

Example:

The departing guests smiled.The departing guests waved.Combined: The departing guests smiled andwaved.

These two sentences have been compounded byjoining the verbs. Notice that there is no comma placedin front of the conjunction when verbs of sentencesare joined.

LESSON 2

60 • Writing

Example:

The day was bright.The day was sunny.Combined: The day was bright and sunny.

In this example we joined the adjectives to combinethe sentences, but we do not have two independentclauses.

Notice once again that there is no comma in frontof the conjunction since we did not join two completesentences or thoughts.

Remember the main purpose of a comma is to showa pause in the writer’s thoughts. Without any pauses,reading would be very confusing. A comma makeswriting easier to understand. A common error inwriting is to use too many commas. If you are in doubtabout a particular sentence, and you cannot recall thespecific rule, read the sentence aloud and see if it needsa pause. Nine times out of ten, you will be able to tellif a pause is needed and where it should be in thesentence.

LESSON 2

Writing • 61

SUBORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS

A complex sentence is one in which oneindependent clause is joined with one or moresubordinate clauses to form a sentence.

A subordinate clause is one that cannot stand aloneas a sentence, as it does not express a complete thought.Subordinating conjunctions usually show relationshipsof time, manner, cause, condition, comparison, orpurpose. The most common subordinatingconjunctions are provided.

• Time: after, as, as long as, as soon as, before, since,until, when, whenever, while

• Manner: as, as if, as though

• Cause: because

• Condition: although, as along as, even if, eventhough, if, provided that, though, unless, while

• Comparison: as, than

• Purpose: in order that

Example:

I cannot go to the movies because I have nomoney.

Because is a subordinating conjunction showingcause.

LESSON 2

62 • Writing

Example:

Unless and until you balance your checkbook,you cannot write another check.

In this example, I have combined two subordinatingconjunctions to form a complex sentence that showstime and condition.

Notice the punctuation in the previous twoexamples. When the subordinate clause is followingthe independent clause there is no comma placed infront of the subordinating conjunction. However, whenthe subordinate clause is at the beginning of thecomplex sentence, there is a comma placed betweenthe two clauses.

Now, look at the examples again, and I will attemptto clear up a common confusing element concerningthe difference between an independent clause and asubordinate clause.

LESSON 2

Writing • 63

Examples:

I cannot go to the movies because I have no money.

Unless and until you balance your checkbook, youcannot write another check.

You will notice that in the examples “because I haveno money” and “unless and until you balance yourcheckbook” both contain a subject, verb, and anobject. If you dropped the subordinatingconjunctions, they could stand alone as completesentences. Since the conjunctions add a condition,time or cause to the meaning of “I have no money”and “you balance your checkbook,” they are a partof the whole phrase and cannot be dropped. Theydo not carry a complete thought or idea bythemselves. These clauses cannot stand alone.

In other words, they need something else to finishthe idea. The “something else” they need is theaccompanying independent clause to form a completethought. I hope I made that clear. It is important thatyou understand when you have written a completethought and when you have a sentence fragment. Let’spractice by combining some simple sentences intocompound and complex sentences using coordinatingand subordinating conjunctions.

LESSON 2

It’s time to

dive into an exercise!

64 • Writing

EXERCISE – USING CONJUNCTIONS


1. What are the following words:

and, or, not, but, for, so, yet

a. coordinating conjunctionsb. subordinating conjunctions

2. A ___________________ sentence is one in which one independentclause is joined with one or more subordinate clauses to form asentence.

a. compoundb. complex

3. A ___________________ cannot stand alone as a sentence.

a. subordinate clauseb. independent clause

4. What is used to show time, manner, cause, condition, comparisonand purpose?


5. Which sentence uses a coordinating conjunction?

a. The book is short but it is good.b. The lights went out as the movie began.

LESSON 2

Writing • 65


a. I cleaned up while Sue cut the grass.b. The day was bright and sunny.


a. Jane took an accounting class because she likes numbers.b. Chris returned my book but I lost it.


a. Never look back although you may want to.b. I took up canoeing and so did Kim.

9. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showing time?

a. Jason studied after he watched his favorite show.b. I’ll lend you my clock because you need one.

10. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showing manner?

a. I’ll lend you my notes as long as you take care of them.b. The sun set as though it weighed a ton.

11. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showing cause?

a. I’ll never go to her house again if she won’t clean it.b. I can’t decide which one is better because they’re both good.

LESSON 2

66 • Writing

12. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showingcondition?

a. I want to go even if Joey is there.b. I took the shortest way home because I was tired.

13. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showingcomparison?

a. That apple is bigger than that orange.b. We don’t need to be scared as long as Blake is here.

14. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction?

a. I am doing my homework because I want good grades.b. I have to study in order that I may get good grades.

15. Can a subordinating clause be at the beginning of a sentence?

a. yesb. no

LESSON 2

Writing • 67

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE – USING CONJUNCTIONS


1. What are the following words:

and, or, not, but, for, so, yet


Answer: a. – The simplest way of combining sentences is calledcompounding, which joins sentences with coordinatingconjunctions.

2. A ___________________ sentence is one in which one independentclause is joined with one or more subordinate clauses to form asentence.

a. compoundb. complex

Answer: b. – A complex sentence is when an independent clause isjoined with subordinate clauses to form a sentence.

3. A ___________________ cannot stand alone as a sentence.

a. subordinate clauseb. independent clause

Answer: a. – A subordinate clause does not express a completethought, therefore it cannot stand alone as a sentence.

LESSON 2

68 • Writing

4. What is used to show time, manner, cause, condition, comparisonand purpose?


Answer: b. – Subordinating conjunctions show time (after, as soon as,before), manner (as if, as though), cause (because), even if,provided that, though, unless), comparison (as, than), andpurpose (in order that).


a. The book is short but it is good.b. The lights went out as the movie began.

Answer: a. (but)


a. I cleaned up while Sue cut the grass.b. The day was bright and sunny.

Answer: b. (and)


a. Jane took an accounting class because she likes numbers.b. Chris returned my book but I lost it.

Answer: b. (but)

LESSON 2

Writing • 69


a. Never look back although you may want to.b. I took up canoeing and so did Kim.

Answer: b. (and)

9. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showing time?

a. Jason studied after he watched his favorite show.b. I’ll lend you my clock because you need one.

Answer: a. (after)

10. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showing manner?

a. I’ll lend you my notes as long as you take care of them.b. The sun set as though it weighed a ton.

Answer: b. (as though)

11. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjuction showing cause?

a. I’ll never go to her house again if she won’t clean it.b. I can’t decide which one is better because they’re both good.

Answer: b. (because)

12. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showingcondition?

a. I want to go even if Joey is there.b. I took the shortest way home because I was tired.

Answer: a. (even if)

LESSON 2

70 • Writing

13. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction showingcomparison?

a. That apple is bigger than that orange.b. We don’t need to be scared as long as Blake is here.

Answer: a. (than)

14. Which sentence uses a subordinating conjunction?

a. I am doing my homework because I want good grades.b. I have to study in order that I may get good grades.

Answer: b. (in order that)

15. Can a subordinating clause be at the beginning of a sentence?

a. yesb. no

Answer: a. – Example: When the movie began, the lights went out.

LESSON 2

Writing • 71

EXERCISE – IDENTIFYING SUBORDINATE CLAUSES

Instructions: Underline the subordinate clause in following sentences.

1. The store has not opened since the fire burned the interior.

2. Please reply to my letter as soon as you receive it.

3. Until the snow came, the flowers bloomed.

4. We may go to the beach if the weather improves.

5. Unless we go now, we will be late for the meeting.

LESSON 2

72 • Writing

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE - IDENTIFYING SUBORDINATE CLAUSES

1. The store has not opened since the fire burned the interior.

Answer: since the fire burned the interior

2. Please reply to my letter as soon as you receive it.

Answer: as soon as you receive it

3. Until the snow came, the flowers bloomed.

Answer: Until the snow came

4. We may go to the beach if the weather improves.

Answer: if the weather improves

5. Unless we go now, we will be late for the meeting.

Answer: Unless we go now

LESSON 2

Take a break!

Writing • 73

AUDIENCE AND PURPOSE

We studied audience and purpose in an earlier level,but let’s review it for reinforcement. If this is your firstWriting course, you are not behind since I have includedjust about all of my previous discussion concerning thistopic.

Even though the purpose of your writing maychange with each job assignment you may receive, themain goal is always the same: to get your point acrossclearly, accurately, and effectively.

Writing a message, letter, or report may not ever beeasy for you. Some people have a natural talent for thejob, and some have to work at every word that’s put topaper. Which type are you?

Can you sit down and write a letter easily with onlya few changes, or is it a painful chore just to jot a shortnote? Whichever type you are, there are some thingsthat you can do to make the work less difficult and towrite more effectively at the same time.

When considering the purpose of the message, askyourself some questions about the subject. It may helpto write down the questions and answers in list formto get a clearer meaning. Ask yourself:

• What is it I am trying to convey?

• What details do I need to include?

Make a list of the points and details. If you makesuch a list, this will help avoid omitting importantinformation.

EdWIN

Sometimes writing canbe a chore.

LESSON 3

74 • Writing

Did you ever go to the grocery store without a list?I do it all the time! When you are at home, you mightmake a mental list of the items you need, but moreoften than not, when you return home, you find thatthere is always at least one item you forgot to purchase.Then you are kicking yourself for not writing it down(and always promising that next time you will)!

Once you have answered these questions, go overthem again to make sure you have not left out details.Remember, you want to be sure the work is as correctand complete as possible before sending it. Check thelist one more time if necessary.

Next, consider the audience and add this to yourlist. Who will be reading this message or report? Willit be directed to just one person, or will a group bereading it? Will it be a co-worker who is a friend orjust a casual acquaintance? Will it be your boss or theChairman of the Board? Will the reader be a customer,client, or creditor? Once you have determined yourtarget audience, then you will have a better idea of justwhat style and demeanor you can use when composingyour message. There are many different moods in whichthe same message can be written. In business writing,a certain amount of professionalism and seriousness isrequired and expected. Even so, you would stillprobably write in a different fashion to a co-workerwho is also a friend, as compared to how you wouldcompose the same message designed for your boss.

Another question you may need to consider: Willthe message be of a negative nature? All of these thingscan determine tone or mood. That is whereunderstanding your audience is important.

LESSON 3

Writing • 75

Then as a last step, ask yourself what form shouldthis message take. Does it need to be a memo, a report,a business letter, etc.? All of these use different formats,so you will need to know which is appropriate for thejob. Many times you will not have to make a decisionconcerning the format. For example, if your employersays, “Send a letter,” then naturally that will be theformat. But if it is up to you to decide which formatwill fit the four Cs most effectively, a clear idea of thepurpose and audience is vital.

Now that we have discussed the importance ofunderstanding audience and purpose, let’s try a fewbasic exercises to practice.

LESSON 3

76 • Writing

EXERCISE – IDENTIFYING AUDIENCE AND PURPOSE

Instructions: Read the paragraphs below and identify the intended audience and the purposeof the message.

On a ranch in Texas, a herd of cows is about to give birth towhat may be the future of the pharmaceutical industry.

Scientists said Tuesday they have developed a technique forcloning genetically customized calves that will be able toproduce medicines for humans in their milk. (AllisonFitzgerald, Associated Press)

1. Who is the audience? _______________________________________

2. What is the purpose? _______________________________________

LESSON 3

Writing • 77

Date: January 22, 1998

To: All Staff Engineers

From: General Accounting Office

Subject: Time Sheets

We have changed the format of our time sheets for engineersdoing maintenance work on the Allis Chalmers machinery.

Please note the differences in the forms and pay particularattention to filling them out correctly.

We hope these new forms will be easier to complete and moreefficient for the accounting department to keep up withmaintenance costs.



The first grade class will be going on a field trip on Tuesdayof next week. We need 35 bag lunches packed early Tuesdaymorning to be ready to go on the bus at 8:30 AM. Please makea note of this for next week’s schedule. Thanks.



LESSON 3

78 • Writing

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE

1. Audience

Answer: General public

2. Purpose

Answer: Inform

3. Audience

Answer: All staff engineers

4. Purpose

Answer: Inform

5. Audience

Answer: Could you tell this was a note to the cafeteria supervisor?

6. Purpose

Answer: To give instructions

LESSON 3

Writing • 79

CLEAR AND CONCISE

When considering our objective to write clearly andconcisely, we have to remind ourselves that we arefocusing on writing in the workplace. Sometimespeople use “overblown language” when they write.Overblown language is simply using unnecessary, wordysentences and paragraphs. Excessive adjectives, adverbs,and other words and phrases that modify a sentencecan be overused and thus will dilute or obscure themain message. This style of writing may be very usefulif your purpose is to entertain your audience, but it isnormally not applicable in the business world. (Unlessyou’re in advertising, of course, where I think manyideas and products are overblown!)

This is especially true of adverbs known asintensifiers. Words such as very, really, extremely, truly,basically, completely, positively, absolutely, and so are allintensifiers. If you will look in the paragraph above,you will notice that I have done that very thing (I justdid it again). In the sentence that reads, “This style ofwriting may be very useful if your purpose is to entertainyour audience, but it is normally not applicable in thebusiness world.” The words “very” and “normally” areintensifiers and are not necessary to explain the point.In fact, if you look at much of my writing, you will seethat I use intensifiers a lot. Truly! Really! Absolutely!OK, enough already!

Anyway, what I am trying to say is when sending amessage in a business format, it is better to get straightto the point. Use these words when you purposely wantto create intensity in a sentence. Too many floweryadjectives, adverbs, and phrases become unnecessaryclutter.

LESSON 4

Cut out unnecessarywords.

80 • Writing

Look at the following sentences and remove anyunnecessary words.

Examples:

My daughter was in a traffic accident but shewas not really hurt.

Do teachers truly intend to develop students totheir full potential?

Did you take out the words really, truly, and full? Ifyou did, you identified all the intensifiers.

Many phrases can often be trimmed or eliminatedfrom sentences. Look at the following example and tryto find a phrase in this sentence that could beeliminated?

Example:

Employers have invested millions in thedevelopment of the workforce.

You could change it around to read, “Employershave invested millions to develop the workforce.”

LESSON 4

Writing • 81

Phrases that use two or more words to do the workof one are redundant. They also create overblownsentences. Look at these examples. Take out theredundant words.

Example:

The guidelines provide an explanation of thenew quality standards.

The phrase, “provide an explanation of” can bebetter said by one word, “explain.” Substitute this wordfor the phrase and see the difference.

The guidelines explain the new quality standards.

Example:

The employees voiced objections to the overtimerequirements.

In this example, the phrase “voiced objections to”can be replaced with “objected to.”

LESSON 4

82 • Writing

Many phrases are often unnecessary. If you need touse a phrase, keep it down to two words, if possible.

Examples:

During the course of the storm, no customerlost service.

The city surveyed the residents for the purposeof measuring dissatisfaction with the policedepartment.

In the event that our service area expands, wewill be ready to compete.

Here’s a more concise way to write these sentences:

During the storm, no customer lost service.

The city surveyed the residents to measuredissatisfaction with the police department.

If the service area expands, we will be ready tocompete.

LESSON 4

Writing • 83

Couples are a popular method to reinforce meaning,but they are not usually applicable in business writing.Couples are those words that are connected by and andthe second word reinforces the first. Consider theseexamples:

first and foremostpeace and quietcompare and contrastaid and abet

Also avoid clichés when you are writing. They areold and worn out sayings (that’s why they’re calledclichés). Try to come up with fresh expressions ifpossible. Just for the fun of it, read the following essay.It will illustrate this point better than I could ever do!You will find several clichés italicized.

Clichés, since the dawn of time, have wrought havoc with those who toil in the

vineyards of literary circles for filthy lucre. Some have made superhuman effort to

pass the acid test of cliché-free prose.

A word to the wise: throw caution to the winds and call a spade a spade, and

hopefully, your rewards will be too numerous to mention in your ripe old age.

Variety is the spice of life in using words.

A conservative estimate of the various and sundry times a budding genius in

literary circles can prevent the clichés from flowing like water are more than you

can shake a stick at.

In this day and age, it should come like a bolt from the blue for you to beat a

LESSON 4

84 • Writing

hasty retreat to the thesaurus in an all-out effort to get the sum and substance of

fresh expressions.

Although great minds run in the same channel, some writers haven’t the foggiest

notion that clichés are a dime a dozen and produce writing as dull as dishwater.

Copy with more trite terms than a dog has fleas can be the straw that breaks

the camel’s back in boring John Q. Public.

Needless to say, rumor has it there’s nothing new under the sun, but, if at a loss

for words, avoid any as old as Methuselah. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt

with words as fresh as a daisy. Even if you have to work like a Trojan, hopefully, it

will be a labor of love to please Mr. Average Reader.

It goes without saying that yours truly will kid you not in saying if you’re up to

your armpits in clichés, you’re a dead duck. Maybe dead as a doornail. Or could

you care less?

Straight from the horse’s mouth, clichés are strictly for the birds. Avoid them

like the plague.

So when the finger of fate sends the Grim Reaper to call you to the great

beyond, just heave a sigh of relief that it was duck soup to avoid throwing a verbal

monkey wrench into each and every story.

Last but not least, don’t let any grass grow under your feet in keeping clichés

few and far between. Hopefully, it should be no sooner said than done to ensure

method in your madness.

Meantime, eat, drink and be merry, and as for triteness, smash it to smithereens.

LESSON 4

Writing • 85

We have touched upon avoidance of idioms, jargon,and technical terminology in an earlier level of Writing.Let’s review those now.

Idioms are expressions that cannot be understoodliterally. “Fixin’ to take a fit” makes no sense in literalterms. “A devil of a time” is another good example.Jargon describes words or phrases that are unique orcommon to certain industries or professions, but maynot be familiar to your reader(s). Technical terms arealso industry or profession specific.

Euphemisms (u-fa-mis-ums) are also superfluousand should be avoided. Using an inoffensive term forone considered offensive is using a euphemism. Thesewords are generally vague and often deliberatelymisleading. Many people in government, military,corporations, and universities are fond of usingeuphemisms to soften the hard realities of life. Theycan express politeness or deception, but all euphemismsserve to fog the true meaning in our messages. Insteadof saying, “laying off employees,” we say “downsizing”… instead of “tax increase,” we say, “revenueenhancement.”

See if you can figure out what I’m really trying tosay:

euphemisms clearer

underprivileged poorgone on to greater glory advancedpassed away diedbudgetary shortfall deficitinventory shrinkage losspre-owned usedcorrectional facility prison

LESSON 4

86 • Writing

Let’s recap this lesson by listing the different waysyou can make your writing totally overblown andobscure.

Unnecessary:

Verb phrasesNoun phrasesPrepositional phrases – IntensifiersRedundant termsExtraneous adjectives and adverbsEuphemismsIdiomsJargonTechnical terminologyCouplesClichés

It is better to write workplace communicationsclearly and concisely. So, let’s try a few exercises topractice the concepts we have discussed.

LESSON 4

Tip: Write clearly andconcisely.

Writing • 87

EXERCISE – WRITING CLEARLY AND CONCISELY

Instructions: Answer the following questions

1. Which is a euphemism?

a. inventory shrinkageb. loss


a. prisonb. correctional facility

3. What does the following sentence contain?

For the life of me, I don’t know where I have put my keys.

a. idiomb. cliché


My grandmother passed away last spring.

a. euphemismb. cliché

LESSON 4

88 • Writing


After my shower, I felt fresh as a daisy.



Whatever we do, we must not muddy the waters while completingthe task.

a. clichéb. euphemism


We had a devil of a time in Los Angeles.

a. clichéb. idiom

8. What are two things that can cause your writing to be overblownand vague?

a. jargon and idiomsb. changing ideas and rewriting

9. Can couples and clichés cause your writing to be overblown andvague?

a. yesb. no

LESSON 4

Writing • 89

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE – WRITING CLEARLY AND CONCISELY



a. inventory shrinkageb. loss

Answer: a. – Euphemisms are vague and should be avoided inbusiness letters. They use an inoffensive term for a word thatis considered offensive. ‘Loss’ has a clearer meaning in thisinstance.


a. prisonb. correctional facility

Answer: b.


For the life of me, I don’t know where I have put my keys.

a. idiomb. cliché

Answer: b. – Clichés should be avoided when you are writing. They areold and worn out sayings; try to come up with freshexpressions if possible.

LESSON 4

90 • Writing


My grandmother passed away last spring.


Answer: a. – It would have been clearer to say “My grandmother diedlast spring.”


After my shower, I felt fresh as a daisy.


Answer: b. – ‘fresh as a daisy’ is a cliché


Whatever we do, we must not muddy the waters while completingthe task.

a. clichéb. euphemism

Answer: a. – ‘muddy the waters’ is a cliché

LESSON 4

Writing • 91


We had a devil of a time in Los Angeles.

a. clichéb. idiom

Answer: b. – ‘devil of a time’ is an idiom. Idioms are expressions thatmake no sense in literal terms

8. What are two things that can cause your writing to be overblownand vague?

a. jargon and idiomsb. changing ideas and rewriting

Answer: a. Many things can cause your writing to be overblown:unnecessary phrases, redundant terms, clichés, extraneousadjectives and adverbs, euphemisms, idioms, jargon,technical terms, and couples.

9. Can couples and clichés cause your writing to be overblown andvague?

a. yesb. no

Answer: a.

LESSON 4

92 • Writing

EXERCISE – CLEAR AND CONCISE

Instructions: Read the sentences and mark through any unnecessary words or phrases.

1. I was really, really nervous about my interview.

2. The interviewer turned out to be very friendly.

3. The interview wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it might be.

4. It was an absolutely nice experience after all.

5. I am completely satisfied that I have a good chance to get theposition.

6. The quality of the product is first and foremost in our minds.

7. To compare and contrast our findings, let’s review our figures.

8. He is the one and only person for the job.

9. If I had to pick and choose, I would buy the brown jacket.

10. All of the rules and regulations are in the employee handbook.

LESSON 4

Writing • 93

Instructions: Rewrite the following sentences eliminating any clichés, idioms, and/oreuphemisms.

11. All things being equal, I would say either of these would do.

____________________________________________________________

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12. For the life of me, I don’t know where I have put my keys.

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13. He told me that this project was just the tip of the iceberg.

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14. We are planning to pull out all the stops for this job.

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LESSON 4

94 • Writing

15. Whatever we do, we must not muddy the waters while completingthe task.

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Instructions: Rearrange these sentences to eliminate unnecessary or clumsy phrases.

16. There are many children who go to daycare.

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17. There is a lot on Thompson Street that is being converted into aplayground.

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18. We are in agreement that meetings should be held monthly.

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LESSON 4

Writing • 95

19. This figure is a list of the companies which currently use ourproducts.

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20. An inventory of its merchandise was conducted by the store inAugust.

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21. The organization of our new team should be done in four days.

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22. Most of our employees dislike the practice of rotating assignments.

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23. We should never make an assumption until we know the facts.

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LESSON 4

96 • Writing

24. As a matter of fact, we are currently experiencing a budgetaryshortfall.

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25. He threw a fit when he realized he would have to work overtime.

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26. For your information, I will need your report by Friday.

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27. We were all working like gang busters on this project.

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28. Permit me to say that I think you are doing a great job.

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LESSON 4

Writing • 97

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE

(Answers may vary)

1. I was really, really nervous about my interview.

Answer: really, really

2. The interviewer turned out to be very friendly.

Answer: very

3. The interview wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it might be.

Answer: nearly

4. It was an absolutely nice experience after all.

Answer: absolutely

5. I am completely satisfied that I have a good chance to get theposition.

Answer: completely, good

6. The quality of the product is first and foremost in our minds.

Answer: first and

7. To compare and contrast our findings, let’s review our figures.

Answer: and contrast

8. He is the one and only person for the job.

Answer: He is the only person for the job.

LESSON 4

98 • Writing

9. If I had to pick and choose, I would buy the brown jacket.

Answer: pick and

10. All of the rules and regulations are in the employee handbook.

Answer: and regulations

11. All things being equal, I would say either of these would do.

Answer: I would say that either of these would do.

12. For the life of me, I don’t know where I have put my keys.

Answer: I don’t know where I put my keys.

13. He told me that this project was just the tip of the iceberg.

Answer: He told me that this project was just the beginning.

14. We are planning to pull out all the stops for this job.

Answer: We are planning to do whatever is necessary for this job.

15. Whatever we do, we must not muddy the waters while completingthe task.

Answer: We must complete this task without any confusion.

16. There are many children who go to daycare.

Answer: Many children go to daycare.

17. There is a lot on Thompson Street that is being converted into aplayground.

Answer: A lot on Thompson Street is being converted into a playground.

LESSON 4

Writing • 99

18. We are in agreement that meetings should be held monthly.

Answer: We agree that we should hold monthly meetings.

19. This figure is a list of the companies which currently use ourproducts.

Answer: This figure shows the companies now using our products.

20. An inventory of its merchandise was conducted by the store inAugust.

Answer: The store conducted an inventory of its merchandise inAugust.

21. The organization of our new team should be done in four days.

Answer: Organizing our new team should be done in four days.

22. Most of our employees dislike the practice of rotating assignments.

Answer: Most of our employees dislike rotating assignments.

23. We should never make an assumption until we know the facts.

Answer: We should never assume until we know the facts.

24. As a matter of fact, we are currently experiencing a budgetaryshortfall.

Answer: We are currently experiencing a deficit.

LESSON 4

100 • Writing

25. He threw a fit when he realized he would have to work overtime.

Answer: He was upset when he realized he would have to workovertime.

26. For your information, I will need your report by Friday.

Answer: I will need your report by Friday.

27. We were all working like gang busters on this project.

Answer: We were all working hard on this project.

28. Permit me to say that I think you are doing a great job.

Answer: I think you are doing a great job.

LESSON 4

Writing • 101

WRITING AND REVISING

As I stated earlier, you may be someone who writesas easily as you breathe. If you are the type that gasps atthe very thought of writing something, there are a fewtips that can be invaluable in making the chore bearable.(and maybe even fun!)

The three main steps in the writing process are:planning, drafting, and revising. We will discuss themall individually. Not all steps are mandatory in eachsituation, and some steps may be repeated a numberof times before you are comfortable with the result.

PLANNING

Coming up with the theme for your writing projectmight be the hardest part, but it, too, can be brokendown into several parts. Of course, if your employertells you to send a letter to Mr. John Brown about theproduction schedule of widgets next month, you won’thave to worry about that. You can move on to the nextphase of planning.

Know your audience and purpose. Most businesswriting is done to inform or persuade. Once you havedetermined this, tailor your comments and style to fityour specific audience.

LESSON 5

102 • Writing

Get your ideas on paper. Start by just jotting downeverything that comes into your head. Don’t worryabout order at this time; the important thing is not toleave out any important details. Try listing all the thingsyou know about the topic. You may end up crossingout half of them, but that doesn’t matter right now.Ask yourself questions about the topic. What does myaudience need to know? Try to visualize similar ideastogether in a group. Write down any thoughts you comeup with. Use any notes that you have made frommeetings, conferences, phone conversations, etc., thatmight apply.

Narrow your topic. Make sure your topic is specificenough to be covered thoroughly in your memo, letter,or document. A topic that is too broad will require toomuch information to be able to keep your letter ormemo as brief as it should be.

Determine the main point that you want to make.Once you have this in mind, you can add the detailsthat need to be included. This will help you get all theimportant information included and strike out any thatis not essential.

DRAFTING

After the planning stage, you can begin gettingeverything in order in preparation to write your firstdraft.

The first thing you need to do is read all of theideas you have jotted down during the planning stageand eliminate unnecessary or weak ideas. Once youhave weeded those out, organize what’s left into an orderof presentation. Now you’re ready to write the first draft.

LESSON 5

Writing • 103

REVISE & REWRITE

After you have written your first draft, try to take abreak if possible before writing your second draft.

First, check for content and logic. Did you includeall the important details? Does it make sense? Do youhave correct information? Did you omit anything? Ifnecessary, go back and check your notes to make sure.

Next, check for style and word choice. Are yoursentences and paragraphs clear and concise, free ofunnecessary language? Does it represent yourpersonality in a natural way? If not, go back and reviseclumsy sentences or words and phrases that do not fitthe “real you.” This will avoid a stilted and stiffpresentation.

Always write keeping your audience in mind. Youhave already determined that in the first part of theplanning stage, so don’t lose sight of it as you are writingyour document. If necessary, go back and read whatyou have written in stages, making sure you are stillwriting to the audience for which it is intended.

Once you have finished your project, it is time toproofread your work. This is the last part of yourrevising stage. It is the time you check for spelling,capitalization, sentence structure, subject/verbagreement, punctuation, typos, and anything else thatis in error. You will probably have to read it more thanonce to be sure there are no mistakes you overlooked.You might even want to have a friend or co-workercheck it over; many times someone else can spot anerror quicker than you.

LESSON 5

104 • Writing

Once you have done all these things and you aresatisfied that it is perfect (you hope), you’re ready tosend it out as a finished and polished work.

Study the outline below to reinforce the stepsinvolved in the writing process. Refer to the previousexplanations for each topic if necessary.

THE WRITING PROCESS

I. Planning

A. Know your audience and purpose1. Inform or persuade2. Tailor content and style to your audience

B. Get your ideas on paper1. Jot down all ideas2. List things you know about topic3. Visualize similar ideas together4. Ask pertinent questions about topic5. Use notes from meetings, phone conversations, conferences, etc.

C. Narrow your topic1. Make sure topic is specific enough to be covered thoroughly in your letter

or memo

D. Determine your main idea1. Determine the main point you want to make

II. Drafting

A. Outline your ideas1. Eliminate unnecessary or weak ideas2. Organize the rest in order of presentation

B. Write your first draft(continued)

LESSON 5

Writing • 105

III. Revising

A. Revise and rewrite1. When possible, take a break between writing first and second drafts2. Check for content and logic3. Check for style and word choice4. Keep your audience in mind

B. Proofread1. Check for the following:

a. Spelling and punctuationb. Grammar and sentence structurec. Capitalizationd. Omitted wordse. Typos

Are you ready to practice the writing process?

LESSON 5

106 • Writing

EXERCISE – RECOMMENDATION LETTER

Instructions: Write a letter to include the information given. Remember the steps of writing.It is up to you to organize the information and present it in a clear, concisemanner. I will give you my interpretation later so that you can compare yourwork to mine. Also remember that your work will not duplicate mine wordfor word.

1. letter of recommendation2. to a prospective employer3. for a former co-worker (Mr. John Smith)4. qualifications of candidate: punctual, organized, efficient,

easy to work with, cooperates well, dependable5. worked with him for five years

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LESSON 5

Writing • 107

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE

Suggested letter (answers may vary):

Dear Sir:

I would like to recommend Mr. John Smith for a positionwith your company.

Having worked with Mr. Smith for five years, I can say thathe is an efficient and qualified worker. His workplacebehavior is dependable, organized, punctual, andcooperative.

I would not hesitate to work with him again at any time.

Sincerely,

EdWIN

LESSON 5

108 • Writing

EXERCISE – CORRECTING A LETTER

Instructions: Read the following letter and make any necessary corrections. Look closely.They may not “stick out like a sore thumb!” Oops, I used an idiom!

Dear Sir:

I would like to place an order of 10,00 widgets from yourcompany to be delivered a week from Friday, April 21st.

Would you be so kind as to acknowledge my order ASAP? Ifpossible, I wold like for you to confirm it with my order clerkwho works in my office with me.

Please advise if you cannot fill this order by the date I haveasked for.

Sincerely,

EdWIN____________________________________________________________

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LESSON 5

Writing • 109


110 • Writing

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE

Corrections:

Dear Sir:

I would like to place an order of 10,00 widgets from yourcompany to be delivered a week from Friday, April 21st.

Would you be so kind as to acknowledge my order ASAP? Ifpossible, I wold like for you to confirm it with my order clerkwho works in my office with me.

Please advise if you cannot fill this order by the date I haveasked for.

Sincerely,

EdWIN

Suggested letter (answers may vary slightly):

Dear Sir:

I would like to place an order with your company for 10,000widgets to be delivered no later than Friday, April 21.

If possible, could you confirm my order and shipping datewith my order clerk right away?

Please advise me if the order cannot be delivered by thedeadline.

Sincerely,

EdWIN

LESSON 5

Writing • 111

FORMAL AND INFORMAL

We also discussed this lesson in an earlier level, butin Level 4 we will discuss it in greater detail.

For business purposes, the formal method ofconstructing letters, reports, etc., is the accepted formto use. In a workplace setting a certain amount ofseriousness and professionalism is expected andrequired.

There are several reasons for maintainingprofessionalism and formality in your workplacecorrespondence. Formality precludes any presumptionof inappropriate familiarity with the reader.

For instance, you would never begin a letter to thepresident of a company with a salutation such as “DearBill.” This would make the assumption that you knowhim on a personal level. The same would hold true ofanyone with whom you are not personally acquainted.Many persons do not appreciate this presumption. Thatis why you must never use the exception to the formalsalutation unless you are absolutely sure the reader willnot be offended by the personal greeting. If you domake this mistake, you run the risk of alienating yourreader from the start. Since one of the main reasonsfor workplace correspondence is to persuade, you morethan likely already sabotaged yourself, as he/she willnot place much importance in your argument. If yourpurpose is to inform, your reader may not assign muchcredibility to your information. An insult is likebuilding a very high brick wall, a wall that is very hardto climb or break through. If your salutation buildsthat wall, nothing else in your correspondence will getthrough.

LESSON 6

Formal vs. Informal

112 • Writing

Formality also conveys to the reader that you respecthis/her person and title. Even if you do know themwell enough to call them by their first name in aninformal or social setting, using a formal address statesto them that you acknowledge their importance andtheir position in the business setting.

When you write a personal note or letter to a friend,you do not worry about using slang, jargon, orexpressing your opinions and ideas in great abundanceor flowery language. The same holds true for creativewriting where the main purpose is to entertain thereader.

Business correspondence, on the other hand, shouldalways be professional. That’s not to say that it has tobe cold, stuffy, or boring. You can make your writingbusinesslike and still construct interesting sentences torelay information.

By maintaining a professional tone, you increaseyour credibility to the reader. You want this person tosee you as an organized, well-informed, and competentperson who understands the workplace environmentand tailors his/her correspondence accordingly. Thiswill increase the confidence of your reader in yourknowledge of the subject. He or she will then be morelikely to accept your argument or information as beingaccurate, complete, and worth consideration. Byavoiding jargon, idioms, and technical language thatdo not apply, you also are showing the reader that youare considerate of his/her possible limitations withoutbeing patronizing. Using this type of language isinformal and not acceptable in the workplace.

LESSON 6

Writing • 113

Have you ever received a letter or had a conversationwith people who wanted to impress you with theirknowledge of a particular subject? All of us have! Thatperson deliberately uses jargon that they know you don’tunderstand, but they don’t care because they are toobusy trying to impress you. Or, (maybe even worse)they simplify their explanation to the point of insultingyour intelligence. Either of these attitudes is extremelyannoying, and believe me, your reader can spot itimmediately. When relating information of a technicalnature, be considerate of your reader and tailor theinformation accordingly. If you do not, you may makea negative impression, even though that would certainlynot be your intention. I will say again, “A negativeimpression is very hard to overcome!” Professionalsshould never make their reader feel inept, ignorant, orpatronized.

Let me tell you something that happened to mepersonally which will illustrate my point. Several yearsago, I was assigned to help organize the card catalog ata library. Upon presenting myself to the librarian, sheimmediately asked, “Do you know your ABCs?” Well,naturally, I was insulted by such a remark! Whethershe meant to patronize me in such a manner, I neverdid know. But, I can tell you that to this day my opinionof her has been less than favorable! Even if she did thisinadvertently, the results were the same. So, be verycareful… you might never know the damage you’vedone.

Simply state the information clearly and concisely,using terminology that is appropriate, and keep youraudience in mind.

Here are a few exercises to practice formal versusinformal writing techniques.

LESSON 6

114 • Writing

EXERCISE – FORMAL vs. INFORMAL

Instructions: Rewrite the following informal letters as business letters and the formal letteras an informal letter.

1. Jerry,

Will you be able to “do lunch” with me on Thursday? I need totalk at ya awhile about the upcoming symposium on the newcomputer tech stuff.

Let me know, will you?

Thanks,

EdWIN

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LESSON 6

Writing • 115

2. Mr. Cliff Brown:

Please advise me of any budget cuts your department maybe considering for the next fiscal year.

We are currently trying to coordinate efforts with theaccounting department in order to submit our revised budgetto the board at next month’s meeting.

As you know, the company is trying to cut any unnecessaryexpenses in order to maintain our staff at its current level.

Could you contact me about this at your earliest convenience.It would be appreciated.

Sincerely,

EdWIN

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LESSON 6

116 • Writing

3. Feb 2, 1998

Berman’s Meat MarkettMr. Sam Berman1234 Pork Chop RoadBeefy, Indiana

Dear Sam,

I have been emploied by your Meet Market since 1993. Even thoughI haven’t met you, I”m sure you will understand my problem. I hadcome to work every day and always does good work. Never a daysick in all that time.

Well, you see, now I have a problem. My wife just had surgery sheneeds me at home home to help take care of her. If any problemscome up. I am requewsting a two week leave of absence beginningon Feb. 6 or sometime around there. Please respond soon.

Sincerely,

Kyle Kelso

kk

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LESSON 6

Writing • 117

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LESSON 6

118 • Writing

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE

Suggested letters (answers may vary):

1.Mr. Jerry Smith:

Would it be possible to schedule a meeting with you fornext Thursday? I had in mind a working lunch to discussthe upcoming symposium on the new computer technologywe are introducing.

Please contact me at your convenience. I would appreciateit.

Sincerely,

EdWIN

2.Dear Cliff,

As you know, the company is trying to cut corners whereverthey can to keep our current staff and avoid any layoffs nextyear.

Can you get with me ASAP on any budget cuts yourdepartment has come up with? We are trying to coordinatewith accounting on this.

Thanks a bunch,

EdWIN

LESSON 6

Writing • 119

3.February 2, 1998

Mr. Sam BermanBerman’s Meat Market1234 Pork Chop RoadBeefy, Indiana 70923

Dear Mr. Berman:

I have been a dependable employee of your Meat Marketfor five years. My wife recently had surgery, and I need aleave of absence to care for her when she comes home.Would it be possible for me to take a two week leavebeginning February 6?

I would appreciate your prompt attention to my request.

Sincerely,

Kyle Kelso

LESSON 6

120 • Writing

EXERCISE – FORMAL vs. INFORMAL

Instructions: Determine if the words and phrases imply a formal or informal style of writing.

1. Dear Sir:

____________________________________________________________

2. Barbara,

____________________________________________________________

3. Can we get together?

____________________________________________________________

4. I would like to schedule a meeting ...

____________________________________________________________

5. Please advise me ...

____________________________________________________________

6. Guess what? I ...

____________________________________________________________

7. Sincerely,

____________________________________________________________

LESSON 6

Writing • 121

8. So long for now,

____________________________________________________________

9. See ya soon,

____________________________________________________________

10. Would you contact my office ...

____________________________________________________________

LESSON 6

“Howdy partner”(informal)

122 • Writing

Answers to Exercise:

1. Dear Sir:

Answer: formal

2. Barbara,

Answer: informal

3. Can we get together?

Answer: informal

4. I would like to schedule a meeting …

Answer: formal

5. Please advise me ...

Answer: formal

6. Guess what? I ...

Answer: informal

7. Sincerely,

Answer: formal

8. So long for now,

Answer: informal

9. See ya soon,

Answer: informal

10. Would you contact my office …

Answer: formal

LESSON 6

Writing • 123

EXERCISE – BUSINESS LETTER

Instructions: Let’s try combining some of the lessons in this exercise. Read the followingletter to Sally Gripe and rewrite it, taking out any unnecessary phrases, idioms,slang, jargon, etc. Write it in a formal style.

Dear Sally,

Just listen to this one. Yesterday, Jack Jones came in fromhis trip to Detroit and said that he was really, really, put outwith trying to get all his customer’s orders straight. Ever sincewe went to the new computer system, he says that everythinghas been fouled up.

No one is getting the right thing, and no one is getting it ontime. We need some help, serious!

Can you call me so we can get together to meet about whatto do to fix this? Thanks a bunch!

EdWIN

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____________________________________________________________

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LESSON 6

124 • Writing

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE

Suggested letter (answers may vary):

Dear Ms. Gripe:

Yesterday I met with Jack Jones concerning his trip toDetroit. He was frustrated with the new computer system.He states not only have his orders not been correct, butthey have not been shipped on time.

May I schedule a meeting with you as soon as possible todiscuss measures to correct the problems? I wouldappreciate your prompt attention.

Sincerely,

EdWIN

LESSON 6

Writing • 125

LISTENING AND WRITING

How many of us need to improve our listeningskills? … just about everyone. Have you ever beenlistening to a conversation and suddenly realize youdid not hear half of what was said? This leads tomisunderstanding and miscommunication. Oh yes, weall do it. Fortunately, this is a skill that we can improve.

In this level, I will review the basic steps toimproving listening skills, but I want to focus on theimportance the skills play in promoting effective writingand avoiding miscommunication.

Listening manners are often overlooked or littleconsidered. Have you ever been talking with someoneand noticed that they are looking around the room,examining their nails, fidgeting, doodling on paper, orbehaving in some other distracting manner? Boy, doesthat make you feel insignificant? This type of behavioris very rude, so try not to let yourself be guilty.

Being a good listener makes the speaker feelcomfortable and important. You never want to letsomeone feel as though his/her ideas and opinions areinsignificant or trivial. Not to say that you must agreewith or listen to endless commentary or complaint,but being polite is essential in all circumstances. Therewill be times when you must extricate yourself from aconversation, but methods of doing that we will leaveto Miss Manners! Our focus in this lesson is to improveour own skills and learn methods for improving them.

LESSON 7

My, what big ears youhave ... the better to

hear you with my dear.

126 • Writing

There are three guidelines to promote good mannerswhen listening:

1. Look at the speaker.Focusing on the speaker shows your interestand helps you concentrate.

2. Sit comfortably and quietly.No fidgeting, whispering, or doodling isallowed. It will distract you and others andprobably the speaker too.

3. Do not interrupt the speakerInterruptions make it harder to follow whatis being said. If you have questions, wait untilhe/she is finished. If you are listening to a longspeech or talk, jot down a note about yourquestion; but, do it quickly and quietly so asnot to cause a distraction.

In addition to practicing listening manners, you willalso need to practice certain techniques to become agood listener.

LESSON 7

Writing • 127

These techniques are Examine, Anticipate, Remind,and Summarize (EARS).

Examine: Examine the speaker’s purpose. Keepthat purpose in mind as you listen.

Anticipate: Try to ask yourself, “What point willbe made next?” This will keep you listeningactively.

Remind: If your mind begins to wander, remindyourself of the purpose of the talk. This will helpyou return your attention to the speaker.

Summarize: Try to summarize the speaker’spoints from time to time. If possible, jot downbriefly the speaker’s main ideas and points. Thiswill help you recall them later.

Other tips for listening are:

Visualize – As you listen, form a mental pictureof what you hear. Visualizing ideas usually helpsyou remember such factors as the order in whichthings happen.

Motivate yourself to listen

React – Your brain must be alert. Listening mustbe a totally active process. Taking notes isprobably the best way to be sure.

Concentrate – Listen with your whole mindfocused.

LESSON 7

128 • Writing

Organize through notes

Comprehend – Totally understand what youhear. Understand the essential ideas andimportant principles, not just a collection ofmiscellaneous facts.

Use repetition – Take notes and review them.

Tips for remembering directions:

Listen carefully.

Visualize the directions as you hear them.

Repeat the directions to the speaker to be sureyou heard them correctly.

Write or draw the directions.

These techniques will help you not only if you arelistening to a speech or talk, but also if you are justengaged in a conversation with someone. Now it onlystands to reason that you will not be taking notes of aconversation in most cases, but you can always makemental notes of the exchange for later recall.

When listening for specific instructions, learningthese techniques and putting them into practice willbe immeasurable. Being able to follow instructions maybe a “make or break” situation for you. How long wouldyou keep your job if you habitually did not completeassignments correctly because you did not follow theinstructions?

LESSON 7

Writing • 129

Following instructions requires including all detailsand taking the proper steps (usually in a particularorder) to achieve the desired outcome. Always takenotes on specific instructions, especially when they referto an operation that you will be doing frequently. Thendouble check them to insure that you have not left outan important step or detail. This way, you can refer toyour notes anytime during the assignment, and youwill also have them for future reference. If it is a specifictask that you will be performing on a regular basis,once you have repeated it a few times you will probablyno longer need the notes. Always keep them in a safeplace though, and never throw them away. There willundoubtedly be times when you are not available, andyour co-workers will appreciate the fact that you haveleft written instructions.

Effective writing must be based on correct andcomplete information. This links to listening andfollowing direction skills in a very basic way. How canyou relay specific instructions to anyone if you havenot listened properly to those same instructions first?Impossible, of course. How can you write aninformative or persuasive letter if you only know halfof what you need to know? … or, if you havemisunderstood some specific step or data necessary?Just think of the many possibilities that idea conjuresup! … anything from a minor misunderstanding to atotal meltdown quickly comes to mind!

LESSON 7

EdWIN ... on vacation.

130 • Writing

I’ll give you a true-life example to illustrate mymeaning. I am sure most of you know many of thedetails associated with the 1970 Apollo 13 moon flightfrom the movie of the same name. If you recall, theastronauts experienced a major explosion that createdseveral life-threatening situations which they had toovercome in order to return home safely. One crisisconcerned the air filters on the LEM (lunar excursionmodule). The LEM had been designed to support twopeople for a few hours, but instead it was necessary forit to support three people for three days as the astronautsused the it as a lifeboat for the return trip to earth.Because it was only designed to be used for a shortamount of time, there were no replacement air filtersavailable. To make matters worse, the only replacementfilters available were the ones designed for the commandmodule and they happened to be square while theLEM’s filter was round!

Meanwhile, back on earth, the engineers at Houstonwere trying to put together a procedure to constructan emergency filter using the square filter designed forthe command module. They had to use whatevercomponents were available to the astronauts in space.If they failed, the astronauts were going to die frombreathing poisonous carbon dioxide gas exhaled fromtheir own lungs! Pretty critical, huh?!

Well, the engineers came up with a solution whichthey thought would work. But, it depended upon theastronaut’s ability to build the emergency filter fromverbal instructions relayed from mission control.

LESSON 7

Houston ... we have aproblem!

Writing • 131

If you know how the story ends, you know that theastronauts did, in fact, build the emergency filter andwere able to successfully attach it to the LEM’s filtersystem. Happy ending! (That’s the kind I like!)

Imagine how different the story would have endedif the astronauts had not been able to listen and followinstructions exactly as they were relayed to them! Theyhad no time for misunderstanding or mis-communications. Their very lives were hanging in thebalance as they were already beginning to developsymptoms of suffocation by the time they got the filterin place.

Of course, it is not very likely that you will ever bein a life or death situation in the workplace where yourlistening skills will be tested to such an extent, but yourjob could depend on them.

Develop your listening skills using the techniquesdiscussed so that you will have complete and accurateinformation. Providing complete and accurateinformation is the first step to effective business writing!The difference could mean your employment, yourcredibility, your self-confidence, your reputation, yourfuture, or even the health and safety of yourself orsomeone else. THAT’S how important it is!

LESSON 7

132 • Writing

We have been discussing listening skills and theirdirect link to effective writing. What good would it doyou to be able to listen effectively if you could nottranslate that skill to paper effectively? Not much, Iwager!

Well, in the following exercises we will attempt toput what we have learned into action. We completedsome similar exercises in an earlier level, so if you havestudied with me before, you will be familiar with thefollowing concepts.

As you read the passages, pretend you are listeningto the information. Do not go back and reread themto answer the questions or do the exercises. Taking notesas you read is fine because that is one of the techniqueswe have studied to help you remember what you haveheard. If you have to cover the paragraphs with a scrapof paper or your hand to keep from being tempted tolook back, go ahead and do it. OK, ready to try it?

LESSON 7

Writing • 133

EXERCISE – CLOSING DIRECTIONS – REQUESTING INFORMATION

PART I – CLOSING DIRECTIONS

Instructions: Read the passage carefully and answer the questions that follow on the nextpage.

Instructions for closing up the store at night:

1. Lock the front door.

2. Take out the trash and lock the back.

3. Turn off display case lights.

4. Turn down thermostat.

5. Vacuum the carpet.

6. Turn off overhead lights.

7. Exit through the front door and activate the alarm.

LESSON 7

134 • Writing

1. What is the first step in the instructions?

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2. Turning off the overhead lights is done when?

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3. To what do these instructions pertain?

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4. Do you turn off the outside lights?

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5. To whom would these instructions be given?

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LESSON 7

Writing • 135

PART II – REQUEST FOR INTERVIEW

Instructions: Read the following as though it is being given to you verbally. When you arefinished, answer the questions.

I recently was told that you may have an opening in yourshipping department.

I would like to request an interview at your earliestconvenience to discuss the possibility of gainingemployment.

My experience includes ten years in shipping by commoncarrier, train, air freight, and others.

Could you please have one of your staff contact me to set upan appointment? I would appreciate it very much.

I hope to hear from you in the near future.

Sincerely,

EdWIN

6. Who is the audience?

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7. What is the purpose?

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LESSON 7

136 • Writing

8. What is the speaker hoping to accomplish?

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9. What type of experience does the speaker have?

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10. What specific question(s) does the speaker ask?

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LESSON 7

Writing • 137

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE

1. What is the first step in the instructions?

Answer: Lock the front door.

2. Turning off the overhead lights is done when?

Answer: Right before you exit.

3. To what do these instructions pertain?

Answer: Closing of the store

4. Do you turn off the outside lights?

Answer: No

5. To whom would these instructions be given?

Answer: Night clerks, closing manager, etc.

6. Who is the audience?

Answer: an employer


Answer: to gain employment

8. What is the speaker hoping to accomplish?

Answer: an appointment for an interview

9. What type of experience does the speaker have?

Answer: shipping department experience

10. What specific question(s) does the speaker ask?

Answer: May he schedule an appointment for an interview?

LESSON 7

138 • Writing

EXERCISE – LISTENING TO A CONVERSATION

Instructions: Read the dialogue and answer the following questions. Try not to look backwhen answering the questions.

1st Speaker: Hi, is Charlie in?

2nd Speaker: No, he isn’t in right now.

1st Speaker: When will he be back?

2nd Speaker: I’m expecting him in about an hour.

1st Speaker: Could I leave a message?

2nd Speaker: Certainly, let me get a pen.

2nd Speaker: OK, go ahead.

1st Speaker: Tell him that George called and is in townfor business. I will be leaving on Wednesday.I would like to meet with him before I go backto Chicago.

Have him call me at the Hotel Windsor, Room1178. Leave a message if I’m not in and I willcall him right back. Got all that?

2nd Speaker: Got it, George, Hotel Windsor, Room 1178, intown until Wednesday. Is that it?

1st Speaker: That’s it. Thanks a lot.

2nd Speaker: You’re welcome. I’ll be sure to give him themessage.

LESSON 7

Writing • 139

1. Who is the first speaker?

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2. Who is he calling?

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4. Who is the second speaker?

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5. What is the message?

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LESSON 7

140 • Writing

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE

1. Who is the first speaker?

Answer: George

2. Who is he calling?

Answer: Charlie


Answer: To arrange a meeting

4. Who is the second speaker?

Answer: An operator, receptionist, or secretary, no name given (triedto trick you on that one!)

5. What is the message?

Answer: Call George at the Hotel Windsor, room 1178. Leave messageif out. He wants to meet before Wednesday.

LESSON 7

Room 1178

Writing • 141

PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT

Unity in your writing simply means sticking to thepoint. Once you have decided on the main idea of yourparagraph, memo, letter, etc., don’t jump around tomake other points. Stay with the central thought beforeyou move on to another one. This does not mean thatyou cannot have more than one central thought in awriting assignment. You might be writing a long reportthat requires you to discuss several main ideas; you justhave to remember to take them one at a time.

This is where coherence comes into play. Coherencemeans that you make sense in your writing. There arethree major points to consider in order to keep yourwriting sensible.

Related ideas all need to be together in the body ofyour letter, report, or document. For example, supposeyou want to persuade someone to change the color andstyle of their company’s letterhead. You would want tokeep all related ideas concerning your reasons aboutthe change in the same paragraph(s) so that all of yourthoughts would be presented in a sensible fashion. Youwould not want to give one or two of your ideas in thefirst paragraph, speak of something else in the second,and then follow with more reasons that relate back tothe first paragraph in the third. This would not becoherent to your reader.

Once you have presented all related ideas together,use effective and smooth transitions to go on to anothercentral thought. We have discussed transitional wordsin a previous level, but I will review a few of them hereto illustrate.

LESSON 8

Take note of the threemajor points ofdevelopment.

142 • Writing

A transitional word or expression simply means onethat shows how ideas relate to one another. Transitionalwords or phrases are like a bridge that connects twosides of a river. They help you get from one idea toanother in a sentence. They also bridge ideas withinparagraphs and between paragraphs.

Transitions help create flow and direction in a letteror report. They keep the document moving logicallyand clearly, and keep the reader’s attention.

There is a variety of words that connect oursentences and show different relationships. Considerthe following list of transitional words to see what Imean.

LINK THOUGHTS

again, also, and then, besides, further, next,furthermore, in addition, last, likewise, moreover

COMPARE LIKE IDEAS

also, as well as, in the same way, likewise, resembling,similarly

CONTRAST IDEAS

after all, although, but, conversely, even though,granted, however, in contrast to, in spite of,nevertheless, on the contrary, on the other hand,otherwise, still, yet

LESSON 8

Writing • 143

SHOW SEQUENCE AND TIME

after, afterwards, at the same time, before, during,earlier, first, second, following, in the first place, last,later, simultaneously, while, soon, now, later, at length,in the meantime

SHOW CAUSE AND EFFECT

accordingly, as a consequence of, as a result of, because,consequently, hence, it follows that, since, then,therefore, thus

EMPHASIZE

certainly, clearly, indeed, in fact, surely, to be sure, truly,undoubtedly, without a doubt

SUMMARIZE

consequently, finally, in brief, in conclusion, in short,in sum, thus, to sum up

ESTABLISH PLACE

here, beyond, nearby, opposite to, adjacent to, on theopposite side

SOURCES: HARBRACE COLLEGE HANDBOOK, 11TH EDITION (1990)

WHEN WORDS COLLIDE, 2ND EDITION (1988)

Logical order must also be considered. If you areassigned with writing an instructional document, yousurely wouldn’t list the steps out of sequence: step three,then step nine, then step four, and so forth. The sameprinciple applies when writing for other purposes.

LESSON 8

144 • Writing

If you have only one central thought to convey, startwith the related ideas in the order of what you feel ismost important. Follow in order until you havecompleted the ideas.

If you have more than one main idea to convey,again, start with the one that you want to be consideredfirst. Then follow with your related ideas (in order ofimportance), and then make an effective transition tothe next main idea. Follow this pattern until you havecovered all of the central thoughts, from mostimportant to least important. This will ensure that youhave covered all of your points effectively and in alogical order.

Paragraph development also plays a major role inunity and coherence. There are several differentmethods for development. Most of them are fairly self-explanatory, but look briefly at each one. Many timesonly one method will provide the format you need fora specific project, but there are occasions when morethan one type can be used effectively to do the samejob.

PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT METHODS

• Details and examples: This method employs theuse of specific details, and gives examples to supportthose details.

• Comparison/contrast: This method will showcomparison using transitional expressions such asalso, likewise, similarly, and in the same way. Contrastwill use expressions such as although, but, eventhough, however, in contrast, nevertheless, etc. Thismethod will focus on pointing out the pros andcons of your central thought.

LESSON 8

Writing • 145

• Definition: This method will define terms,conditions, ideas, etc., that you want to clarify orexpand upon.

• Cause and effect: This method will demonstratecause and effect using the if/then concept. Forexample: If you balance your checkbook, then youmay continue to write checks.

• Analysis: This method employs examination,inquiry, investigation, study or testing results, etc.,for your paragraph format.

• Classification: In this method, specific arrangementor categorization will be used to illustrate the mainthought of your paragraph.

As you can see, there are several different methodsyou can use to express your ideas or to conveyinformation in your writing. The main point toremember is not to “mix methods” within a paragraph.If you start out a paragraph using cause and effect, donot switch to definition in the middle. Instead, use asmooth transition into a new paragraph where you canuse the definition method if desired. If you don’t followthis guideline, unity and coherence will fly out thewindow!

Let’s practice now.

LESSON 8

146 • Writing

EXERCISE – PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT


1. To ensure coherence in your writing, keep ________ ideas together.

a. detailedb. related

2. To ensure coherence in your writing, use effective ________ .

a. transitionsb. conjunctions

3. To ensure coherence in your writing, keep a ________ .

a. logical orderb. instructional order

4. Which is a method of paragraph development?

a. details and examplesb. planning and drafting


a. emphasize/summarizeb. comparison/contrast


a. summaryb. definition

LESSON 8

Writing • 147


a. cause and effectb. explanation


a. mixed methodb. analysis


a. classificationb. assessment

LESSON 8

148 • Writing

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE – PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT

1. To ensure coherence in your writing, keep ________ ideas together.

a. detailedb. related

Answer: b – This enables the reader to fully understand the point youare trying to get across.

2. To ensure coherence in your writing, use effective ________ .

a. transitionsb. conjunctions

Answer: a – Use effective transitions to go on to another central thought.Transitional words show how ideas relate to one another.

3. To ensure coherence in your writing, keep a ________ .

a. logical orderb. instructional order

Answer: a – If you are assigned with writing an instructional order, youwouldn’t list step 3 first and step 1 second and so on. Thesame rule applies when writing for other purposes.


a. details and examplesb. planning and drafting

Answer: a – The paragraph development of details and examplesemploys the use of specific details, and gives examples tosupport those details.

LESSON 8

Writing • 149


a. emphasize/summarizeb. comparison/contrast

Answer: b – Comparison/contrast is a method of paragraphdevelopment. This method will focus on pointing out the prosand cons of your central thought.


a. summaryb. definition

Answer: b – This method will define terms, conditions, ideas, etc., thatyou want to clarify or expand upon.


a. cause and effectb. explanation

Answer: a – This method will demonstrate cause and effect using the“if/then” concept. For example: ‘If’ you balance your checkbook,‘then’ you may continue to write checks.


a. mixed methodb. analysis

Answer: b – Analysis is a method that employs examination, inquiry,investigation, study or testing results, etc., for your paragraphformat. It is important not to mix methods. Therefore, answer(a) is not correct because mixing methods within a paragraphwould not be using a smooth transition.

LESSON 8

150 • Writing


a. classificationb. assessment

Answer: a – In the classification method, specific arrangement ofcategorization will be used to illustrate the main thought ofyour paragraph.

LESSON 8

Writing • 151

EXERCISE – WRITING WITH UNITY AND COHERENCE

Instructions: Read the following paragraph and rewrite it using the concepts of unity andcoherence.

The meeting was held in the main boardroom on April 21.The topics of discussion included the budget for theupcoming year, the new computer system, and the costoverruns on the construction of the new offices.

Meeting was called to order by the president. Meeting wasadjourned after old business was discussed. There was nonew business. A committee was formed to study costoverruns. New officers were introduced. Old business wascalled for. Minutes were read by the secretary. They were votedon and approved. A motion was made to form a committee tostudy the cost overruns. The motion was seconded and votedupon and passed.

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LESSON 8

152 • Writing


Writing • 153

ANSWER TO EXERCISE

Suggested rewrite (answers may vary):

The meeting was held in the main boardroom on April 21.The meeting was called to order by the president. Last month’sminutes were read by the secretary, voted on, and approved.

Old business was called for. The topics of discussion includedthe budget for the upcoming year, the new computer system,and the cost overruns on the construction of the new offices.

A motion was made to form a committee to study the costoverruns. The motion was seconded, voted upon, and passed.A committee was formed to study the overruns.

The meeting was adjourned after the old business wasdiscussed. There was no new business.

OK, how did you do? I know I didn’t followparliamentary procedure to the letter, but the main ideawas for you to unscramble the meeting minutes into amore coherent form. If you had trouble, go back andrewrite it. If you think your version is better than mine,then that’s great.

LESSON 8

154 • Writing

EXERCISE – TRANSITION RELATIONSHIPS

Instructions: Look at the following sentences and identify the transitional words or phrasesand the relationship(s) they show.

For example: Emilio followed procedure to file an insurance claim; however, it took weeksbefore he received payment.

Transitions: however Relationship: contrasts ideas

1. Yesterday we attended a conference on aging, in addition to one ongeriatric medicine.

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2. Consequently, we learned much about the subjects.

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3. Afterward, we were treated to a nice dinner by our hosts.

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4. We were clearly impressed by the fine treatment we received.

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5. Therefore, we hope to attend again next year.

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LESSON 8

Writing • 155

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE

1. Yesterday we attended a conference on aging, in addition to one ongeriatric medicine.

Answer: in addition to — link thoughts

2. Consequently, we learned much about the subjects.

Answer: consequently — shows cause and effect

3. Afterward, we were treated to a nice dinner by our hosts.

Answer: afterward — to show time or sequence

4. We were clearly impressed by the fine treatment we received.

Answer: clearly — to emphasize

5. Therefore, we hope to attend again next year.

Answer: therefore — show cause and effect

LESSON 8

156 • Writing

EXERCISE – TRANSITIONAL WORDS IN MEMOS

Instructions: Using the following information write a memo using transitional words orphrases.

meetingnext Tuesdaycommittee to consider health insurance benefit changesmembers to discuss ideas concerning subject9:00 a.m., conference room

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LESSON 8

Writing • 157

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE

Suggested Memo (answers may vary):

To: All Committee MembersFrom: EdWINDate: Today

Subject: Health Insurance Benefits

We will be holding our first meeting to discuss possiblechanges in health insurance benefits next Tuesday at 9:00 a.m.in the conference room.

As a result of escalating costs, we will be considering possiblechanges in our health insurance coverage. We certainly needto consider all of our options. Please be prepared to discussyour ideas as to how we can cut expenses and provideappropriate coverage for employees.

Before the meeting, please review the proposed policies.

Compare your memo with mine. I know they willbe very different but the main idea is to be coherent,organized, and in logical order.

LESSON 8

158 • Writing

EXERCISE – COMPARISON AND CONTRAST

Instructions: Using comparison/contrast paragraph development, take the followinginformation and write a paragraph.

Subject: How to cut costs on the construction of the newoffices

Idea to consider: Use less expensive furniture and decorating

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LESSON 8

Writing • 159

ANSWER TO EXERCISE

Suggested paragraph (answers may vary):

I would like to suggest that we use less expensive furnitureand decorations in the new offices. Even though the furnitureand decorative items will be a little less luxurious, we can stillbuy nice furnishings for the offices without having to sacrificequality.

We stand to save several thousands of dollars if we rethinkand revise the original plans in regard to the furnishings.

Notice I used the words even though as mytransitional phrase to show comparison/contrast.Which one(s) did you use?

LESSON 8

160 • Writing

PROOFREADING AND PEER EDITING

Earlier in this level we discussed briefly theproofreading aspect of writing organization in therevising stage. In this lesson, we will review aproofreading checklist and focus on peer editing.

Once you have the content of your communicationthe way you want it, check for spelling, capitalization,sentence structure, subject/verb agreement,punctuation, typos, and anything else that is in error.You will probably have to read it more than once to besure there are no mistakes you overlooked. It will alsohelp if you can lay it aside and work on something elsefor a few minutes. Then go back and check it onceagain. Many times an overlooked error or neededchange will “jump out” when you read it after a shortbreak.

LESSON 9

Go back and proofread after youtake a break.

Writing • 161

You may also want a co-worker to look over yourwork before you present it as a finished document. Thisis called “peer editing” and can be very useful. An extraeye will spot something in many cases that you justdidn’t catch, possibly an awkward phrase, anunnecessary word, etc. The basic strategies for successfulediting consists of asking some pertinent questionsregarding the communication. I am providing a basicguideline for you to follow.

PROOFREADING CHECKLIST

√ Who is the intended audience?

√ What is the intended purpose?

√ Has unity and coherence been achieved, or could

it use a little further revision?

√ Have effective transitions been used?

√ What were the desired results?

√ Were the desired results achieved?

√ Is the language overblown, vague, or too

technical?

√ To the best of your knowledge, is the information

complete and accurate?

LESSON 9

162 • Writing

There are a couple of other things to rememberwhen you have a peer look over your work. First of all,don’t be defensive if your co-worker points out errorsyou may have made. After all, that’s why you asked; so,don’t be too sensitive in this respect. In fact, it wouldbe my advice to choose, if possible, someone who hassome knowledge of your writing style and can giveconstructive rather than destructive criticism. Youcertainly don’t want someone who will “nitpick” youto death because they write in a totally different styleor could have some ulterior motive for finding fault.(I’m sorry to say that it does happen.)

On the other side of the coin, if you are the peereditor, remember the golden rule. Be considerate whenpointing out any problems you might find in your co-worker’s writing. Take into consideration their writingstyle when reading their work. Don’t expect it to bewritten as you would write it. That is not the purposeof peer editing. If it were, you might as well do the jobyourself. Use the previous guidelines, then check forthe basics of grammar, spelling, typos, etc. Point outany errors you find in a non-judgmental way. The objectis to help your co-worker, not destroy their self-confidence by grinding them into a pulp!

OK. That’s all I have to say for this level. I know ithas been pretty detailed, so take the time you need toreview and study.

LESSON 9

Writing • 163

EXERCISE – PROOFREADING

Instructions: Use the proofreading guidelines to correct the following documents.

1. Date: Apr. 22, 1998

To: mr. Sam Jackson

From: acct. dept.

Subject: time sheets

Dear Sam:

We have not received your time sheets for the month of april.Have you been sending them? Better check your records.

Let me know what you find.

Sincerely,

EdWIN

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LESSON 9

164 • Writing

2. Durint last mont’s meeting, one of the accounting clerks Mr. Jonestold to us that he was having a devil of a time using the newaccounting software that was purchased for the computers to beinstalled upon.

He said that he thought that it wasn’t so much the sofware asthat no one knows exactly how to use it. He made a reqest thatsomeone from the co. come and train the cleraks.

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LESSON 9

Writing • 165

3. April 22, 1998

Mr. j. Jonesabc compnayDetroit, Il. 60689

Jack:

Just a note to let you know that I have set up the monthly salesmeeitn at the Hilton hotel conference room number 1 for May 6th.

Would you get back with me to let me know if this date and placeis aok? Oh, by the wat, meeting time is 9:00 AM.

Sincerly,

John

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LESSON 9

166 • Writing

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE

1. Suggested letter (answers may vary):

Notice that this is a memo, but the body is written in a letter style.Check for spelling, punctuation, etc. (Your answer will vary.)

Date: April 22, 1998

To: Mr. Sam Jackson

From: Accounting Department

Subject: Time sheets

We have not received your time sheets for the entire monthof April. Please check your records to see what hours youhave worked, and get back with us with your findings beforepayday.

LESSON 9

Writing • 167


First of all, who is the audience of this letter? We don’t know, do we? Also, towhat monthly meeting is it referring? This example is incomplete (and not verywell written, either.) Use your own ideas to make it better. Here is my version.

Dear Vandy:

During the last monthly accounting department meeting, itwas brought to our attention by Mr. Jones that there wereproblems with the new accounting software. He felt theconfusion was due to a lack of training using this particularprogram.

Could we possibly get someone from the softwarecompany to come and train the accounting departmentemployees on this software? I believe this would be atremendous help in orienting the accounting departmentstaff to the new software.

I would appreciate your reply as soon as possible.

Thanks,

EdWIN, Accounting Department Manager

LESSON 9

168 • Writing


April 22, 1998

Mr. Jack JonesABC CompanyDetroit, MI 60689

Dear Mr. Jones:

Please be aware that I have scheduled the monthly salesmeeting for May 6 at the Hilton Hotel, Conference Room #1at 9:00 a.m.

Please contact me if this date and time is not convenient foryou, and I will make the necessary changes.

Sincerely,

John DillonRegional Sales Office

LESSON 9

Writing • 169

Well, that concludes Level 4 of Writing. I hope Ihave been informative and helpful to you. That is mygoal, after all!

If you feel unsure about any of the objectives wehave covered, go back and review because I am aboutto test your knowledge of this level! Surprise! … or,maybe not, if you have been studying with me before!

The answer key is located at the end of the Posttest,but answer all of the questions by yourself before youlook.

Remember, you can always go back and study againif you do not do well the first time around. Good luck!

LESSON 10

Don’t Peek!

170 • Writing

EXERCISE – POSTTEST

PART I

Instructions: Complete the following exercises using coordinating, correlative, andsubordinating conjunctions. Underline the coordinating or correlativeconjunctions in the following sentences.

1. She and I left the building.

2. Was it you or him on night shift?

3. Neither they nor we understood why our product has defects.

4. The plant has both a cafeteria and a snack bar.

5. The competition never slows or quits.

6. Not only does she sing, but she also plays the piano.

7. The station wagon needed both oil and gas.

8. We have had foggy mornings but sunny afternoons lately.

9. She worked quickly and efficiently.

10. It is a tragedy that some people can neither read nor write.

LESSON 10

Writing • 171

Instructions: Underline the subordinating conjunctions in the following sentences. Thenwrite the independent clause that it connects.

11. Unless we leave right away, we will be late.

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12. I could not go because I had the flu.

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13. You may be selected as team leader since you have communicationsskills.

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14. Although the day was cold and damp, we enjoyed our trip to thebeach.

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15. John will be ready as soon as he gets his coat.

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16. If you are willing to wait in long lines, you will be able to get a ticket.

____________________________________________________________

17. Someone stole his car while he was in the department store.

____________________________________________________________

18. Even if you go early, you will have to fight the crowds.

____________________________________________________________

POSTTEST

172 • Writing

19. He spoke as though he knew what he was talking about.

____________________________________________________________

20. We always have a good time whenever we go out.

____________________________________________________________


21. What are the four Cs?

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

22. What should you ask yourself when considering purpose andaudience in your writing?

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

23. Name at least four things that can cause your writing to be overblownand vague.

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

24. What are the three main steps in the writing process?

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

POSTTEST

Writing • 173

25. What are four parts of the planning phase?

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

26. Name two parts of revising.

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

27. Why should business writing be kept in a formal tone?

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

28. Explain the link between good listening skills and effective writing.

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

29. What rules should you follow to ensure coherence in your writing?

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

30. Name at least four methods of paragraph development.

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

POSTTEST

174 • Writing

PART II

Instructions: How would you organize your notes if you heard the following message viavoice mail?

31. Kellie, while I am out of the office, I would like for you to stock theempty four-shelf storage cabinet in the following manner. Allinstructions are given left to right. On the top shelf, I would likethe red notebooks containing policy updates. Next to those, I wantthe empty file folders, and next to that, I would like the packagesof labels. On the second shelf, left to right, I want rubber bands,jumbo paper clips, standard paper clips, black ball point pens,red ball point pens, and standard staples. On the third shelf, pleaseplace message pads, legal pads, and 10” X 13” clasp envelopes.Finally, on the fourth shelf, please stock index cards and extrapaper for the copy machine. Thanks for your help, and I will seeyou in the morning.

Notes:

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

POSTTEST

Writing • 175

Instructions: Revise the following memo to a supervisor. Concentrate on improvingconciseness, but also make any other changes you feel appropriate.

32. Along the lines of parking, please be advised that the problem ofparking continues to exist. Prior to this date, this problem hasbeen faced by us for years. With respect to the issue at hand, asyou know, the new lot which was built behind Building C duringthe present year added a quantity of no more than thirty spacesfor parking, at the most. In view of the circumstances, I sincerelyfeel it is time that I say something. When I find myself coming towork, there is never a space in order that I might park my car. Italways takes a considerable amount of time in order that I mightdo the aforementioned job of parking. Please be advised thatsubsequent to this notification, I have also spoken with manyother individuals employed by our great company. They, in asimilar manner, feel much the same as I do about this matter. Weall feel this is an issue of extreme and of the utmost importance.In view of the circumstances as outlined before you at this juncturein time, if you feel the necessity to discuss this further, pleasecontact me in care of the department of research. Your attentionto this memorandum is deeply appreciated in response to thisinitial request from me to your attention.

POSTTEST

176 • Writing

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________

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POSTTEST

Writing • 177

ANSWERS TO EXERCISE

1. She and I left the building.

Answer: and

2. Was it you or him on night shift?

Answer: or

3. Neither they nor we understood why our product has defects.

Answer: neither/nor

4. The plant has both a cafeteria and a snack bar.

Answer: both/and

5. The competition never slows or quits.

Answer: or

6. Not only does she sing, but she also plays the piano.

Answer: not only/but/also

7. The station wagon needed both oil and gas.

Answer: both/and

8. We have had foggy mornings but sunny afternoons lately.

Answer: but

9. She worked quickly and efficiently.

Answer: and

POSTTEST

178 • Writing

10. It is a tragedy that some people can neither read nor write.

Answer: neither/nor

11. Unless we leave right away, we will be late.

Answer: We will be late.

12. I could not go because I had the flu.

Answer: I could not go.

13. You may be selected as team leader since you have communicationsskills.

Answer: You may be selected as team leader.

14. Although the day was cold and damp, we enjoyed our trip to thebeach.

Answer: We enjoyed our trip to the beach.

15. John will be ready as soon as he gets his coat.

Answer: John will be ready.

16. If you are willing to wait in long lines, you will be able to get a ticket.

Answer: You will be able to get a ticket.

17. Someone stole his car while he was in the department store.

Answer: Someone stole his car.

18. Even if you go early, you will have to fight the crowds.

Answer: You will have to fight the crowds.

POSTTEST

Writing • 179

19. He spoke as though he knew what he was talking about.

Answer: He spoke.

20. We always have a good time whenever we go out.

Answer: We always have a good time.

21. What are the four Cs?

Answer: clear, concise, correct, conversational

22. What should you ask yourself when considering purpose andaudience in your writing?

Answer: What is it that I need to convey? Who will be reading this?

23. Name at least four things that can cause your writing to be overblownand vague.

Answer: Any of the following: unnecessary phrases, redundant terms,clichés, extraneous adjectives and adverbs, euphemisms,idioms, jargon, technical terms, or couples

24. What are the three main steps in the writing process?

Answer: planning, drafting, revise/rewrite

25. What are four parts of the planning phase?

Answer: Know your audience and purpose.Get your ideas on paper.Narrow your topic.Determine your main idea.

POSTTEST

180 • Writing

26. Name two parts of revising.

Answer: revise/rewrite, proofread

27. Why should business writing be kept in a formal tone?

Answer: Formality precludes any presumption of inappropriatefamiliarity, increases credibility, shows respect for reader andhis title or position, and shows that you write with the readerin mind.

28. Explain the link between good listening skills and effective writing.

Answer: Correct and effective writing links with listening skills in a verybasic way. Without well developed listening and followingdirections skills, it would be impossible to relate importantinformation. This could have many negative effects rangingfrom minor to major consequences.

29. What rules should you follow to ensure coherence in your writing?

Answer: Keep related ideas together, use effective transitions, and keepa logical order.

30. Name at least four methods of paragraph development.

Answer: Any four of the following: details and examples, compare/contrast, definition, cause and effect, analysis, or classification

POSTTEST

Writing • 181

POSTTEST

PART II

31. Kellie, while I am out of the office, I would like for you to stock theempty four-shelf storage cabinet in the following manner. Allinstructions are given left to right. On the top shelf, I would likethe red notebooks containing policy updates. Next to those, I wantthe empty file folders, and next to that, I would like the packagesof labels. On the second shelf, left to right, I want rubber bands,jumbo paper clips, standard paper clips, black ball point pens,red ball point pens, and standard staples. On the third shelf, pleaseplace message pads, legal pads, and 10” x 13” clasp envelopes.Finally, on the fourth shelf, please stock index cards and extrapaper for the copy machine. Thanks for your help, and I will seeyou in the morning.

Suggested notes:

182 • Writing

POSTTEST

32. Along the lines of parking, please be advised that the problem ofparking continues to exist. Prior to this date, this problem hasbeen faced by us for years. With respect to the issue at hand, asyou know, the new lot which was built behind Building C duringthe present year added a quantity of no more than thirty spacesfor parking, at the most. In view of the circumstances, I sincerelyfeel it is time that I say something. When I find myself coming towork, there is never a space in order that I might park my car. Italways takes a considerable amount of time in order that I mightdo the aforementioned job of parking. Please be advised thatsubsequent to this notification, I have also spoken with manyother individuals employed by our great company. They, in asimilar manner, feel much the same as I do about this matter. Weall feel this is an issue of extreme and of the utmost importance.In view of the circumstances as outlined before you at this juncturein time, if you feel the necessity to discuss this further, pleasecontact me in care of the department of research. Your attentionto this memorandum is deeply appreciated in response to thisinitial request from me to your attention.

Answer: To: SupervisorFrom: I. M. Unhappy, Dept. of ResearchDate: Today

Subject: Parking

Please be aware that the parking problem continues to exist.I am appreciative of the new lot behind Building C, but theadditional 30 or so parking spaces do not resolve the problem.Many of my co-workers agree with me that we waste too muchtime searching daily for parking spaces. Please let me knowif I can be of assistance as you continue to seek a solution tothis problem.

Writing • 183

Calculate your score for Part I counting the number of questions you answered correctlyin this section. If a problem asked you to list several items or steps and you missed one ormore, count the question as answered incorrectly. Divide the number of your correctanswers by 30. Change the decimal answer to a percentage by moving the decimal twoplaces to the right.

Make sure you did well on Part II of the posttest since the Ready to Work Writing assessment will be contain writing samples similar to these passages.

CALCULATING YOUR SCORE

184 • Writing

Well, how did you do on the posttest? If you scored 93% or higher, you have a reasonable chance to pass Level 4 of the Ready to Work Writing assessment. Remember the basics of writing that we have discussed, listen carefully to each message, and you will do fine. You may want to complete Level 5 with me before you take the Assessment.

Now don’t be discouraged if you scored below 93%. There is a lot of information to remember. Practice the exercises in this course. You can do it! And, your enhanced work skills will pay off in the long run. Practice makes perfect.

Take time to review the Test-Taking Tips provided at the end of this workbook. Good luck improving your work skills and attaining your goals!

SUMMARY

You should be proud of your progress!

Writing • 185

EDWIN’S TEST-TAKING TIPS

Preparing for the test . . .Complete appropriate levels of the WIN Instruction Solution self-study courses.Practice your writing skills until you feel comfortable with your ability to listen toa message, take notes, and compose written messages conveying what you haveheard.

Get a good night’s rest the night before the test and eat a healthy breakfast on testday. Your body (specifically your mind) works better when you take good care ofit.

Allow adequate time to arrive at the test site. Being in a rush or arriving late willlikely upset your concentration when you actually take the test.

The answers must be written in blue or black ink, so if you have a favorite pen,you may want to take it with you. However, the test administrator will have pensavailable for your use.

About the test . . .Writing and listening skills are both assessed in one test, but are scored separately. You will listen to an audiotape of work-related messages and compose written messages to communicate the information to someone else. You are asked to play the role of an employee who receives messages from customers, co-workers, and suppliers. The Ready to Work Writing assessment will not measure accuracy or completeness of message. Scoring will be based on writing mechanics, such as sentence structure and grammar, and on your writing style. Listening score is based on the accuracy of the message.

The Ready to Work Writing assessment includes 6 workplace communications that begin with one speaker’s brief message; gradually, the messages become longer, more detailed, and include two speakers. You will listen to each message twice and are encouraged to take notes as you listen. You will be given 2 to 6 minutes to write your version of each message after the second reading; the time is dependent upon the difficulty of the message. There will be adequate time to write your responses to each message if you have taken proper notes as you listen. You may work on previous messages at any time during the test. The entire Ready to Work

Writing assessment takes approximately 40 minutes.

REFERENCE

186 • Writing

Make sure your work is legible for the grader to read your work. Since you mustwrite in pen, you will not be able to erase. Do not worry if you have to mark outmistakes. Cross through the incorrect word one time (mistake) without making amess (mistake). You will not be penalized for marking through words to correctsentences.

During the test . . .Listen to the instructions carefully. Do not hesitate to ask the administratorquestions if you do not understand what to do. Make sure you can hear theaudiotape clearly from where you are sitting.

Your test booklet will provide space for you to take notes and for you to composeyour written messages. Do not try to write every word that is spoken on theaudiotape. As you listen, write key words in your notes to help you rememberwhat is being said. Please notice that the workplace situation does not includeyou, so your written messages should not include the word “I.” Remember also toavoid writing or drawing anything on the message page that is not appropriate forthe business setting.

Dealing with test anxiety . . .Being prepared is one of the best ways to reduce test anxiety. Study the WINInstruction Solution course material. Practice will increase confidence in your writingand reduce your test anxiety.

Do not think negatively about the test. The story about the “little engine thatcould” is true. You must, “think you can, think you can, think you can.” If youprepare yourself by writing clear, concise, and complete sentences, there is noreason why you cannot be successful. Don’t get discouraged; be persistent. It iseasy to become frustrated on this test while listening to details. If you do notremember names or dates, then make up information in order to write clear,concise sentences. If you do not do well with one workplace situation, do not letthat interfere with how you do on the next ones.

REFERENCE

Writing • 187

If you have extra time after one message, you may go back and check punctuation,spelling, etc. from other messages. If time allows, ask yourself the followingproofreading questions:

• Does each sentence begin with a capital letter?• Does each sentence have ending punctuation?• Have you used “I” in the message? If so, and you have time, change this.• Is there a subject and a verb in each sentence?• Do the subject and verb agree?

Prior to the test, relax, close your eyes, take several deep breaths, and think of arelaxing place or a favorite activity. Visualize this setting for a minute or twobefore the test is administered.

Studying with a partner is another way to overcome test anxiety. Encouragementfrom each other helps to increase your confidence.

REFERENCE

188 • Writing

RESOURCES

ACT, Inc. (1994). WorkKeys® Targets for Instruction: Writing. Iowa City, IA: ACT.

REFERENCE

Worldwide Interactive Network, Inc.1000 Waterford Place Kingston, TN 37763

Toll-free 888.717.9461Fax 865.717.9461 www.w-win.com

WIN Career Readiness Courseware - ©2008 Worldwide Interactive Network, Inc. All rights reserved.

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