Writing to Describe(Paper 2 Section B)

ObjectivesTo understand what makes good descriptive writingTo be able to create effective descriptions

Starter (1)

Describe what you see (colours, shapes, textures…)

Starter (2)

Describe what you see (colours, shapes, textures…)

Starter (3): Describe what you see

What makes good descriptive writing?

GOOD DESCRIPTIVE WRITERS. . .

• help the reader see, feel, touch, smell, taste the thing being described, by using ‘sensory description’.

• create a few vivid and original metaphors and similes to create pictures in the reader’s mind

• don’t overuse adjectives

• use well-chosen verbs rather than a weak verb + adverb (e.g. ‘murmured’ rather than ‘spoke quietly’)

• use varied sentences

• use advanced punctuation to clarify meaning

What makes this piece of descriptive writing effective?

The camera is the eye of a cruising vulture flying over an area of scrub, rubble and unfinished buildings on the outskirts of Mexico City. Five-storey building no walls no stairs…squatters have set up makeshift houses…floors are connected by ladders…dogs bark, chickens cackle, a boy on the roof makes a jack-off gesture as the camera sails past. Close to the ground we see the shadow of our wings, dry cellars choked with thistles, rusty iron rods sprouting like metal plants from cracked concrete, a broken bottle in the sun, shit-stained color comics, an Indian boy against a wall with his knees up eating an orange sprinkled with red pepper. The camera zooms up past a red-brick tenement studded with balconies where bright pimp shirts flutter purple, yellow, pink, like the banners of a medieval fortress. On these balconies we glimpse flowers, dogs, chickens, a tethered goat, a monkey, an iguana. The vecinos lean over the balconies to exchange gossip, cooking oil, kerosene and sugar. It is an old folklore set played out year after year by substitute extras.

William Burroughs, from The Wild Boys

What makes this piece of descriptive writing effective?

The camera is the eye of a cruising vulture flying over an area of scrub, rubble and unfinished buildings on the outskirts of Mexico City. Five-storey building no walls no stairs…squatters have set up makeshift houses…floors are connected by ladders…dogs bark, chickens cackle, a boy on the roof makes a jack-off gesture as the camera sails past. Close to the ground we see the shadow of our wings, dry cellars choked with thistles, rusty iron rods sprouting like metal plants from cracked concrete, a broken bottle in the sun, shit-stained color comics, an Indian boy against a wall with his knees up eating an orange sprinkled with red pepper. The camera zooms up past a red-brick tenement studded with balconies where bright pimp shirts flutter purple, yellow, pink, like the banners of a medieval fortress. On these balconies we glimpse flowers, dogs, chickens, a tethered goat, a monkey, an iguana. The vecinos lean over the balconies to exchange gossip, cooking oil, kerosene and sugar. It is an old folklore set played out year after year by substitute extras.

original metaphor

simile conveys idea of guarded- ness and being a ‘backward’ place

sensorydescription(sound)

lists used to build up realistic- sounding detail

sentencestructureand punc-tuationechoesmovementof cameraand plane

original metaphor conveys theme of poor and unchanging lives

sensorydescription(light, colours)

unusual viewpoint surprise element – doesn’t at firstsound like an inhabited place

How to plan a piece of descriptive writing

Brainstorm/plan:

• the mood or theme you want your description to convey

• specific details of the place, person or object you are going to describe

• what can be seen, heard, smelled, felt

• an opening that will interest the reader and make them want to keep reading

Paper 2 Section B exam question

TaskDescribe a busy place. Aim to write one and a half sides.

(You could describe a nightclub, station, shoppingcentre, football stadium…any place that’s busy)

Success criteria• sensory description• opening that ‘hooks’ the reader• original similes/metaphors• adjectives not overused• well-chosen verbs• varied sentences• helpful punctuation