yakko's world: bab lima belas
TRANSCRIPT
Welcome back to Yakko‟s World.
I am going to give you fair warning, the plot is going to be flying thick and heavy from here on in.
“Onslow Warner?”
“Yes…”
“I don‟t know if you remember me, but I‟m Dr. Knight. From St. Simis.”
“I recall you quite well, Doctor. After all it is hard to forget the man who condemned my wife to death.”
“Look, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t want to turn your wife away. But…”
“I do not wish to hear your excuses. What are you doing here?”
“I want to make it up to you. I was wondering if I could take a look at your wife. See if there is anything I could do to help.”
“What did you say?”
“Please, let me see what I can do.”
“Come in.”
~*~
“Miss Fuzzy? Can I talk to you for a moment?”
“Yeah, just let me mark my place.”
“So what‟s up?”
“Narf! I‟ve got a bit of a favor to ask, Miss Fuzzy.”
“Oh?”
“It‟s got to do with Oman.”
“Oh. What did he do this time.”
“He needs a place to stay.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh, narf! So I need to talk to you about him moving in.”
“Moving in!”
“Um yeah.”
“I need to go lie down.”
“You know this could be a good thing, narf!”
“Uh-huh.”
“We could use the help now that Mum and Dad-doo are gone.”
“I think we‟re doing just fine. What‟s your real reason?”
“Egad! Why do you say that?”
“Orkney, I love you. But you lie like a five-year-old with their hand in the cookie jar.”
“That bad, narf.”
“Worse. So spill.”
“I think that he didn‟t mean to cheat on Cee, that it just happened. And I think that he needs help fixing it, narf. But he doesn‟t know he needs help and if we don‟t give him a place where he‟s got someone around to keep him on track, that he will just remain a bachelor for the rest of his life.”
“So what you‟re trying to say is that we need to smack some sense into him and make sure that he doesn‟t do anything stupid. Well, more stupid, I mean.”
“Righty-o! Egad I knew I was right to marry a strong, sexy woman. I sure know how to pick me a woman!”
“Conceited much? How do you know I didn‟t pick you?”
“And I‟m right thankful that you succumbed to my underhanded attempts to get your attention.”
“Orkney!”
“So can Oman move in, poit!”
“Fine! But he‟d better make himself useful. So when will you tell him?”
“Later, narf. Right now I have something else in mind.”
“Woohoo!”
“Exactly.”
“You will? Okay thanks. I mean it. Thanks.”
“I‟ve heard from Orkney.”
“And?”
“I‟m leaving today.”
“Good.”
“I wish there was something I could do to change your mind.”
“There isn‟t.”
“I know but it doesn‟t mean that I didn‟t wish that there were.”
“I‟ve wished for a lot of things, Oman. And if it‟s one thing I‟ve learned, wishes don‟t come true just because you want them to.”
“I know. I‟m sorry. You‟ve got to know I‟m sorry.”
“That isn‟t good enough. Not anymore. It‟s going to take action now to make me believe you not words.”
“Then can I give you a hug? To say good bye and to show you just how much I care about you?”
“So long as you don‟t try anything.”
“I promise.”
“Thank you, Cee.”
“Goodbye. Don‟t forget to tell Kor you‟re leaving. I don‟t think he‟d like it if you didn‟t at lease say goodbye.”
“I‟ll talk to him.”
“Oh Oman…”
“Kor.”
“Uncakor?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“You know how your Mama and I have been fighting a lot lately?”
“Uh-huh?”
“Well I made a mistake and because I did something bad I need to go away for a little while. I don‟t want to go away, but sometimes we have to do things we don‟t want because they are for the best. But I don‟t want you to think this was your fault, it isn‟t. I‟m the one who messed up, and I‟m the one who needs to pay.”
“But why do you have to go? I don‟t want you to go. Can‟t you just say you‟re sorry and make it better?”
“I wish I could, Kor. But it‟s not going to be that easy. I‟m going to need to do a lot of atoning to show your Mama that I really do love her and that I am worthy of her.”
“But can‟t you do that here? I don‟t want you to go. I want you to stay here with Mama and the babies. I want us to be a family.”
“I want that too, Kor. I want that too.”
“Maybe if you‟re really good, Mama will let you come back.”
“I hope so. Take care of your Mama for me.”
“I will, Uncakor!”
~*~
“I first started feeling sick when I was pregnant with our oldest son. I think it was after I got home from work right before Ipopped.”
“So long, Beloved? Why did you not say something sooner?”
“It was nothing. Just a cold. I thought I‟d get better in a few days.”
“Uh-hmmm? Anything else?”
“Well at first it started out with just the sniffles and…”
“And?”
“Several potty emergencies.”
“Go on…”
“Well, then it seemed to get worse. I got a cough that I just can‟t seen to shake and I feel so weak. So very weak and tired.”
“I see…”
“What do you see, Doctor?”
“Just go on, Mrs. Warner.”
“What. Do. You. See.”
“I‟d really rather not jump to conclusions.”
“But you have a hunch.”
“I have a hunch.”
“What is it?”
“Pneumonia. A particularly aggressive strain. I‟d need an x-ray to be sure, but that is what it sounds like.”
“Pneumonia? Wouldn‟t that get better on its own?”
“Sometimes yes, most of the time no. And it can hang around for a really long time.”
“But you know what it is? That means you can cure it!”
“It‟s not as simple as that. If I were in a hospital, sure, I could do all sorts of things. But out here, with nothing, things aren‟t going to be easy.”
“So, what does that mean?”
“Well, I am going to prescribe a lot of bed rest, tea, and hot steamy baths. As for the rest, well, I want to talk to your husband about a few things first. See what we have to work with.”
“Okay.”
“So sleep now, I‟ll be back to check on you later.”
“Okay.”
“What did you want to discuss with me?”
“Well…”
“Please, just tell me.”
“Your wife is dying.”
“How can you say that! You‟ve only just looked her over.”
“I know the signs. I‟ve seen them before. If I‟d seen your wife sooner, if she‟d come to us right away we maybe could have done something.”
“Maybe?”
“Maybe. Pneumonia is a leading cause of death and even today we can‟t always cure it.”
“But sometimes you can. Why not now?”
“Medicine is not an exact science and a lot of it is luck. Luck, you don‟t seem to have.”
“What are you insinuating?”
“Mrs. Shin doesn‟t seem the kind of person to leave a lot to chance, does she?”
“Mrs. Shin? You mean Drea?”
“Yes.”
“You are correct. Drea does not seem like one to leave things to chance.”
“I don‟t know what you did to piss her off, but she is out to see you suffer.”
“She is succeeding.”
“That may be. But it brings me to my point.”
“And that is?”
“I don‟t think this illness was an accident.”
“What?”
“I think it was engineered. Everything points to it. The timing of the onset, I think she meant to kill your wife before she could give birth but she failed in that. But still your wife is sick and has been for a long time. Which leads me to the denial of care, I find it strange that no doctor, no hospital would help you. Why? Sure she bought people off, but what it was deeper. What ifshe threatened them by unleashing the same disease on their patients?”
“Oh my, I cannot believe that Drea would go this far. To hurt me, I understand. But to involve innocents, I cannot see it. What makes you thinks this?”
“Little things. Her gloating. The power she seems to wield. The fear I saw in my boss‟ eyes when she let Drea fire me. Everything points to this.”
“So what do we do?”
“That‟s a good question. The answer is both easy and complex, it all depends on what you are willing to do and what you are willing to do to get it.”
“I would do anything. I would die for her if I thought it would help.”
“Let‟s not hope it comes to that, then. What I need for you to do is to, how do I say this, procure some items. A little lab equipment, a computer or two, a few controlled substances and we‟d be good.”
“I believe I may have a contact or two who can assist me. Anything else?”
“Some soup would be nice.”
“Soup? Whatever for?”
“Don‟t underestimate the power of soup.”
“I have some soup that my semi-sister-in-law made, would you like that?”
“Oh, it‟s not for me. It‟s for your wife.”
“I already tried feeding it to her. It didn‟t cure her.”
“But did it make her feel better?”
“A bit.”
“Then that is a start. What I have planned is a little more intense than that.”
“What do you mean?”
“We‟re going to use the special properties in the soup to create a nutritional supplement that will bolster your wife‟s immune system. And then, well, have you ever heard of cryogenics?”
“I have. A fairly new and untested science is it not?”
“Somewhat. The problem I see is threefold. The disease itself – we might be able to cure it but it‟s done a hell of a lot of damage. Right now I could sneeze on Mrs. Warner and she would probably keel over dead. That is our second problem, we need to rebuild her immune system. Which brings us to the third problem – Mrs. Shin.”
“Drea?”
“I‟ve got a hunch that even if we manage to find a cure for this illness, that she won‟t stop hounding you. You‟ve got to prepare for that. Buy a safe house, make arrangements, that kind of thing. Once Mrs. Warner is cured, you will need to disappear.”
“Leave Belladonna and my family?”
“It‟s your choice. The only other option is to kill her.”
“I cannot do that. For all that she has done, I still feel that it is my fault. I cannot kill another for my mistake.”
“Suit yourself. So shall we get started? We‟ve got a hell of a lot of work to do and not much time to do it in.”
~*~
“Hey! Clicker, director, or whatever the hell you call yourself, I could use a little action around here. Waiting for Frank to call me is not my idea of a good time, I swear if you don‟t give me some action I‟m gonna-”
You‟re going to kick ass and take names? Look, you‟ve got your lifetime want, you‟re going to be happy for the rest of your life. What more do you want?
“How about a date or fifty. Dream ones if you don‟t mind.”
I‟ll see what I can do.
“Lark said mmmph-”
“I can has date?”
You can.
“Yay!”
“Um, I‟m standing right here. Shouldn‟t you be asking me?”
“No. All I want from you is to be naked and on the couch.”
“Um… Okay.”
“So I‟m naked, now what? Not that I don‟t have some ideas, but what did you have in mind?”
“Oh, I don‟t know? How about insert Tab B into Slot A and then repeat?”
“If I didn‟t know better, I would say you were a mind reader.”
“How do you know I‟m not?”
“Good point. Think I‟ll start with that inserting now.”
“Leaving so soon?”
“Classes.”
“Can‟t you just woohoo the professor into submission?”
“I could. But I‟m not really into beards.”
“What‟s wrong with guys?”
“Nothing. I‟m just not fond of facial hair on females.”
“Ahhhh, got it. See you around then.”
“Absolutely.”
“You know, this really sucks. I do not like being alone. Can‟t you do something about that? You‟re the clicker, you have the power.”
“I think I might have spoken to soon.”
“When I said I didn‟t like being alone, I didn‟t mean that I wanted to have a baby. This sucks and you want know what sucks more, I need to tell Frank he‟s going to be a father.”
“So, how‟s school going?”
“Uh, fine. Piece of cake really.”
“That‟s good. So is there any chance of an early graduation?”
“Mmmph mmmmph hmpummmh?”
“Try that again without the bowl.”
“I suppose I could graduate a semester early if I really buckled down. But what‟s the rush?”
“I thought you‟d might like to be here when you became a father.”
“What? How? What?”
“You‟re going to be a father. Isn‟t that exciting?”
“Star, if you‟re joking please stop.”
“I‟m. Not. Joking.”
“Oh.”
“Mmph, oh.”
“So what are you doing to do about it?”
“What am I going to do about it?”
“Yeah.”
“I hadn‟t really thought that far ahead.”
“Oh…”
“What are you going to do about it, Frank.”
“What kind of question is that?”
“An important one. Answer. Now.”
“You want me to give you an answer that affects the rest of my life after finding out that I‟m going to be a father only a few minutes ago?”
“Yep.”
“How am I supposed to answer this? I haven‟t had time to think about it.”
“Don‟t think. React. Life doesn‟t always give you time to think things over. Sometimes you have to go with your first instinct and go from there.”
“Fine. My first instinct is to drop out of school to take care of you and the baby.”
“Sweet, but totally the wrong choice.”
“Then why don‟t you tell me what the right choice is?”
“You want to keep the kid?”
“Of course I do!”
“And you love me and want to be with me?”
“Yeah. I‟ve said it haven‟t I?”
“Then finish school. Don‟t dawdle or diddle around. But get your Lifetime Want then get your ass here.”
“I can do that.”
“Good. And one more thing. I expect you to be here for the kid. Even if you aren‟t finished with school. You‟re going to be a father. That means commitment and keeping me happy. Got it?”
“Yeah. I got it. So anything I can do now to make you happy?”
“Well seeing as I can‟t get any more pregnant than I am, how about a little romp between the sheets.”
“I‟d thought you‟d never ask.”
~*~
“Um, I bet you‟re probably wondering what I‟ve gathered you all here for today.”
“Were we wondering, Noah? I wasn‟t sure, what with all of the questions and the „mommy and daddy have something very important to tell you now sit on the couch nicely‟ set up we have going here.”
“Damian, hush.”
“Spoil-sport.”
“Would you guys let me finish.”
“You haven‟t started yet, Frank.”
“Oh yeah, good point, Adam.”
“So spill already.”
“Well, you all know, Star, my kinda sorta girlfriend, not that she would ever let me call her that.”
“Yeah…”
“Well, I maybe got her a little pregnant.”
“Maybe a little pregnant? There is no maybe about it, either you did or you didn‟t.”
“Damian…”
“What? I‟m just saying.”
“Fine, I got her pregnant and I can‟t stay in the dorms anymore. Too many distractions from both my lifetime want and my studies.”
“So what does that have to do with us? I mean I like you, Frank. But I ain‟t sleeping with you.”
“I didn‟t even think about that, Noah.”
“So what were you thinking about.”
“Starting a fraternity. I could pledge people in and they could do my papers for me while I…”
“Screwed your brains out.”
“I hate it when you put it like that.”
“But, it‟s the truth. Do what you want, I‟m not going to have any part of it.”
“Besides, it‟s not like I don‟t want to join a Fraternity. But this way, we could choose the house, set up the rules, and everything.”
“I‟m in.”
“Thanks, David. Anyone else?”
“Well, if David is I am.”
“So that‟s Adam…”
“And where Adam goes, I go. I also call dibs on decorating.”
“That makes four. Noah?”
“I‟ve always wanted to join a fraternity. Might as well start one as join one.”
“Great, I‟ll get working on getting the house. I‟ve got an inheritance coming to me.”
“This looks good, I think we‟ll take it. Now to call the guys.”
“That‟s it?”
“That‟s it. Welcome to our home for the next few years.”
“Welcome to Alpha Grabba Donut."
“Well? Are you guys coming or not?”
“Are you sure it‟s okay if we spend the night here? Your mom won‟t mind will she?”
“Look, Daddy‟s cool with it and so long as we don‟t break anything Mom‟s fine too. So don‟t break anything.”
“Don‟t be a wuss. Just go inside.”
“Last one in doesn‟t get any cake!”
“Come on, wuss, you don‟t want to miss out on cake.”
“But what if Mama finds out I‟m not spending the night at your place.”
“She‟s not going to. My mom thinks I‟m at Teak‟s place. Teak‟s mom thinks he‟s at yours. We‟re all set. The only way that this‟ll get ruined is if you blab about it.”
“I‟m not going to say anything, Kor.”
“And I‟m not gonna either, that just leaves you wuss.”
“I won‟t say nothin‟.”
“Good. Then let‟s go have some cake.”
“Where‟s the cake?”
“There isn‟t any.”
“You mean it was a lie?”
“No, I meant that I only had five pieces and they all got eaten. I wasn‟t joking about the last one in not getting cake.”
“Oh. So what‟s there to do?”
“I don‟t know. Stuff.”
“‟Kay.”
“Urk!”
“I shocked you, Rose! Ha! You look like such a dork!”
“Why‟d you do that! It‟s mean!”
“Don‟t be a baby!”
“I‟m not a baby!”
“Cry baby!”
“I‟m gonna tell!”
“What‟d you do to Rose?”
“Nothin‟. She‟s just a big cry baby cause I gave her a little shock. I see you down there! All crying to big sis!”
“Shut up, Teak!”
“Make me!”
“How about I make you?”
“Wha? Ow! My foot! You stepped on it!”
“What are you going to do, Teak? Cry?”
“But I‟m your family!”
“So? That doesn‟t give you the right to be an ass. Especially not to Rose who‟s done nothin‟ to you.”
“You tell him, Joss.”
“I‟m gonna tell your mom.”
“So I‟ll tell yours what you did to an innocent little girl. Let‟s see who gets grounded the longest.”
“Meanie.”
“And proud of it. Wanna play, Rose?”
“Sure.”
“Ack you got me! If you‟re so good with a gun, then why didn‟t you shoot the mean ol‟ Teak.”
“I‟m the law. And I reckon that if you don‟t follow the law you‟ll have the law laid on you.”
“That made no sense.”
“It sounded better in my head.”
“Okay switch!”
“Bang!”
“You got me! Gee, you‟re fast.”
“You‟ve got to be when you‟ve got Sheriff Fitzhugh after you.”
“Joss, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Why‟d you stick up for me earlier?”
“Simple. I don‟t like bullies.”
“Oh.”
“So, um Kor?”
“What?”
“You want to play?”
“So long as it doesn‟t involve any dolls or kissing. I hate that.”
“Nope. We can play Prince and Princess.”
“So long as we don‟t have to kiss.”
“This is kinda fun.”
“Kor and Lily sittin‟ in a tree.”
“Shut up, Teak!”
“Just ignore him, Lily. He does this all the time.”
“Ohhh… I just want to sock him.”
“So how do you like your new brother, Sakura?”
“Brother? I don‟t have any brothers.”
“Sure you do, look at Lily and Kor over there. They‟re practically married!”
“Can I sock him now?”
“Keep ignoring him.”
“See what I mean! They‟re practically kissing!”
“Urge to kill rising.”
“Don‟t. I don‟t want to have to tell your mom that we broke one of her nice things over Teak‟s head.”
“Good point.”
“I know.”
“Although don‟t think I don‟t mean it, Teak. Knock it off!”
“Woooo I‟m so scared!”
“Then why are you hiding behind my sister? Too scared to face me that you have to hide behind a girl!”
“Hey!”
“Yeah! Hey!”
“Oh go watch a movie or something.”
“Now where were we?”
“Um… I think I need to go to the bathroom.”
“Oh fine! I‟ll show you where it is.”
“Thanks.”
“Whatcha doin‟ over here on the couch?”
“Lil and Kor told us to go away.”
“You were being an ass again, weren‟t you, Teak?”
“Yep, he was.”
“Hey!”
“I was just telling the truth!”
“See, Rose, Teak‟s nothing to worry about just punch him in the mouth the next time he goes off on you.”
“I won‟t need to if you‟re around, Joss.”
“Yeah well you can‟t count on someone always standing up for you. You gotta stand up for yourself.”
“Yeah, I suppose.”
“Whatcha doin‟?”
“Well, I was talking to Joss who wandered away and T and S are banished on the couch.”
“Why‟re they banished? They were being annoying but that‟s over with.”
“Has anyone told you that you are too nice for your own good, Kor?”
“Sure! Joss, Uncle Oz, Uncle Frank, and now you, Lily.”
“Then why don‟t you listen to them?”
“‟Cause Mama always says you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”
“It depends on the vinegar.”
“Lily? Are you down there?”
“Aw crap it‟s my mom. Stay quiet and I will try to get rid of her.”
“Okay. But I thought she knew we were here?”
“She does, just not how many of you there are.”
“Oh.”
“Yes, Mom?”
“Are you having fun with your friend?”
“Yes, Mom.”
“Are you two behaving?”
“Of course we are, Mom.”
“Good. I‟ve got to run out for a little while on business. It shouldn‟t take too long. But until your father gets home, you‟re in charge of the house.”
“Okay, Mom. I promise not to break anything.”
“Don‟t make promises you can‟t keep.”
“Fine, I won‟t break anything on purpose. Accidents are outside of my control.”
“That‟s my girl. Never promise anything that you can‟t deliver on later.”
“Yes, Mom. I love you.”
“Love you too. But I‟ve got to run, unfortunately someone decided to stick their nose where they shouldn‟t and now I have to fix the problem. But that doesn‟t concern you, just be good, Lily. I trust you to make the right decisions.”
“Bye, Mommy.”
~*~
“Tha-that‟s it?”
“That‟s it. The chamber will keep you in a stasis until we can find a cure for you, Mrs. Warner. It‟s the best thing that yourhusband and I could come up with.”
“It looks so cold and alone… I don‟t want to be alone.”
“Beloved, you will not be alone. I shall be here with you. But you must enter the chamber quickly, your body does not have much strength left.”
“I know. I just… I just feel like I‟m never going to see you again. That once I go into that chamber, I will never come out again. You know this would be a whole lot easier if it didn‟t look so much like a stinking coffin. It makes me feel like I am going to my death.”
“Please, Beloved, do not say that. Do not even think that. I shall protect you and the doctor and I shall work most vigorously to find you a cure. When next you wake, you shall be well again. I swear it.”
“Do you think it is for the best? I‟m feeling better. You‟ve done that much. I could get better on my own.”
“No, you cannot. Dr. Knight has analyzed the virus plaguing you and it has disabled your body‟s defenses. And while we have had some success in neutralizing the disease, at this point a simple cold or bout of food poisioniing would kill you. I cannot bear to lose you, not when I can still do something about it.”
“Then, I‟ll do it. I believe in you, Onslow.”
“Come, my love. I shall lay you in your bower.”
“Sleep, Beloved. Sleep knowing that I will move heaven and earth to make you well again.”
“Are you done being melodramatic? Because I„ve got work to do.”
“I place my wife into your hands.”
“You know, you didn‟t have to make it all „I place my wife into your hands‟ a nice „I‟m ready‟ would have sufficed.”
“But I am. My Olive is the most important part of my life. This contraption of yours will keep her safe until we can bring her back to full health.”
“I try. Now, Move. I need to check the nutrient flow.”
“Hmmmm…”
“What is this „hmmmm‟?”
“It appears that everything is working correctly. I think I want to up the nutrient flow just a bit for now. Just in case.”
“Just in case of what?”
“In case she accidentally took another bug into the case with her. The higher flow should knock it out if one is there. We‟ll adjust it down in about a week.”
“Oh. I see.”
“Great, let‟s go upstairs. The floor here was not designed with comfort in mind.”
“Thank you.”
“For what? I‟m just doing what I should have done at St. Simis. Although I never would have thought of creating a cryogenic stasis chamber there.”
“Not into alternative medicine, were they?”
“They didn‟t need to be.”
“So what is our next step.”
“Well, finding a cure is next. We can inject possible cures into her IV and monitor the results without cracking the seal to the chamber. At the same time, we will need to work on rebuilding your wife‟s immune system. If her body can help fight off disease, it makes our life easier.”
“So what do you want me to do? I am no scientist nor am I a doctor.”
“First off, I want you to concentrate on staying healthy and you need to work on our third problem.”
“Drea.”
“Yep. You‟ve got to be ready to run the moment Mrs. Warner is well enough to be outside of that chamber. If I thought we couldget away with it, I would run a fake obit for your wife to buy us some time. Hell, for that matter, I would look into moving out of here now. It‟s risky, considering the connections Drea has. But it might be worth a shot. She knows where to find you now. That makes her feel more secure.”
“Anything else?
“Probably. But I am so tired right now, that I can barely think straight. I‟d probably suggest killing her again.”
“I cannot do that.”
“I know. We‟ve gone over this. I just hope you don‟t regret your decision.”
“Agreed.”
“Well, I‟m going to grab my coat and then I‟ll be off. I could use some shuteye.”
“Sleep, Doctor. I do not believe I can. But I shall sit with my beloved for a bit. Thank you again for all of your work.”
“No problem. One step down, two more to go.”
“Indeed. See you tomorrow, then?”
“Yep. Night, Mr. Warner.”
“Onslow. Call me Onslow. You have earned that right.”
“Night, Onslow.”
“Hello, Doctor. Making a house call are we?”
“How-”
“How did I find out you were here? My dear doctor, don‟t you know that there isn‟t a thing in this town that I don‟t know about? I think it‟s time we had a little chat, don‟t you?”
“I want nothing to do with you, you conniving heartless bitch!”
“Such language. I really must insist you come with me, right now.”
“You heard the lady, now move!”
~*~
“Star! What are you doing here?”
“I was invited. I always enjoy a good toga party.”
“Are you sure that‟s a good idea, in your condition, I mean.”
“Oh don‟t you even think of starting that. I will pound you so fast into the ground that you‟ll be in Pleasantview before you even blink.”
“Sorry. I didn‟t think. But I think you knew that already.”
“So what are you doing?”
“Studying.”
“Way to be a party pooper.”
“Well, I‟ve got this reason to graduate early. Seems like I got some nice girl pregnant. I kind of want to be there for her.”
“Good. I know that I would kick your ass if it were me.”
“Good to know. Now, I really should get back to studying. I‟ve got an exam in the morning.”
“History-britches! You‟ve got to help me!”
“Is there something amiss?”
“It‟s Frank. He‟s losing it. Talk some sense into him, please.”
“Is he not listening to you?”
“He is, that‟s the problem.”
“I will see what I can do.”
“Mary! Long time, no talk. What can I do for you.”
“Would you join me for dinner? There is much that we need to catch up on.”
“Uh, sure. I‟ll meet you at the Crypt O‟ Night Club. They make a mean plate of pasta.”
“I‟m pleased you could make it, Mr. Warner.”
“Not a problem.”
“What‟s up?”
“Let us go inside, I am quite famished.”
“Mary, what‟s up. You‟re making me nervous.”
“Isn‟t it nice to go out and just have a little fun with a friend?”
“You‟re avoiding the question.”
“Am I?”
“Yes. What‟s up. This isn‟t like you. You don‟t ask people out. It‟s not you.”
“Ah. I see. I should not have been so forward then. I thought you liked assertive women.”
“That‟s not what I meant and you know it. I want you to be you, Mary. Not some girl you think I would like.”
“Ah.”
“So going back, what‟s going on? What‟s your real reason for calling me?”
“Miss Walton.”
“Ah, Star, I should have guessed. What‟d she tell you?”
“Only that you are listening to her.”
“And that‟s a problem?”
“Apparently.”
“Did you know I got her pregnant?”
“She did not divulge that information to me. No wonder she is agitated.”
“Yeah. No wonder.”
“So are you going to marry her?”
“She hasn‟t asked me to do that. In fact, I think she‟d laugh at me if I brought it up.”
“You might be right. Still what do you two plan on doing?”
“I don‟t know about Star, but I‟m going to try to graduate college early. But I‟ve got this horrible feeling that isn‟t going to be enough.”
“Hmmm, this sounds very familiar. Have I ever told you about my brother, Frank?”
“No. I don‟t think so.”
“It is quite the tale. But that is not here and now, what you need is a solution. Correct?”
“Yes. But I‟m not sure how I can be in two places at once. I want to be with Star, but to do so I‟d have to drop out of school and she doesn‟t want that. But at the same time, I know she doesn‟t want to be alone.”
“I see a simple solution to this.”
“What? Short of cloning myself, I don‟t see how I can make this work.”
“It‟s easy. You need a proxy.”
“A proxy.”
“Someone to stand in your stead. Since you cannot be with Miss Walton, have someone else.”
“But who? I mean I can‟t think of very many people Star would let live with her especially while she is pregnant. I could ask Orikes and see if she would, I guess.”
“Again you are overlooking the obvious.”
“Well other than Orikes, I can‟t think of anyone who Star knows here other than the girls from the challenge world. And she didn‟t like any of them other than you.”
“Exactly.”
“Wait, you mean you‟d be willing to do that for me?”
“Not just for you. I, too, care about Miss Walton. The perfect solution to your problem is for me to be a companion to MissWalton during her travail. Which, in turn, will allow you to complete your studies without worries.”
“Mary, you‟re a peach. I don‟t know what I would do without you. I‟m so glad that you‟re my friend.”
“It is a pleasure.”
“I could show you more pleasure if you want.”
“Perhaps some day.”
One concern dealt with, Frank pursued his studies aggressively.
Although that wasn‟t the only thing he pursued, reaching his lifetime want was still quite firmly on his mind.
~*~
“Narf! This is a lot of fun, Miss Fuzzy.”
“Yeah. It is. Although you know what I really want?”
“Woohoo?”
“No. Pancakes. I want Pancakes. Make me some.”
“Narf! I really wanted to woohoo.”
“And if you ever want to woohoo again, you will make me pancakes. NOW!”
“Egad, Miss Fuzzy, you didn‟t have to point your wand at me.”
“Pancakes.”
“This doesn‟t look good, Narf!”
“Egad! The pancakes!”
“Director person. Thank you for sending the fireman.”
You‟re welcome.
“But Miss Fuzzy‟s going to kill me for burning her pancakes, Narf.”
“How are your pancakes, poit?”
“Crunchy.”
“I‟m sorry, Miss Fuzzy. I burned them.”
“It‟s okay. The charcoal helps settle my stomach.”
“Are you feeling sick, Miss Fuzzy?”
“Oh, nothing that three sim days won‟t cure. So when is Oman moving in?”
“Some time today, narf!”
“Oman, you‟re here early, narf.”
“I didn‟t see the need to wait any longer.”
“Great! We could really use the help. Miss Fuzzy‟s pregnant so she‟s not going to be able to take care of the kids as much.”
“Uh, Orkney…”
“Egad! I can‟t believe it, I‟m going to be a father again.”
“Uh, Orkney…”
“I mean. I never saw myself as the father type. Not like dad-doo. Narf! Now he put a whole new stamp on fatherhood.”
“Orkney, I‟m really tired. Do you think I could go lie down?”
“Sure! I am so glad you are here. With four kids and a toddler and another kid on the way, we can sure use the help.”
“I‟ll do my best.”
“Now if you‟ll excuse me I have my evening woohoo with Miss Fuzzy to take care of, narf. We‟re up to woohoo number fifteen now.”
“I did not need to know that.”
Woohoo taken care of, Orkney teaches a glowing Palau to walk.
While Fuzzy proves that she is a much better pyro than her husband.
“Hi alien!”
“Orkney, are you talking to my shirt or belly.”
“Shirt, Narf! Why would I talk to your belly?”
“That is what I was trying to tell you last night, I‟m pregnant.”
“Hi Oman‟s belly! Can you play peek-a-boo with your Uncle Orkney? Narf.”
“Orkney... I don‟t know what you are on. But you‟re just weird, I would have thought that you would have outgrown that by now.”
“Dad-doo didn‟t.”
“You‟re not Dad-doo.”
“Nope! I‟m Uncle Orkney.”
“So you‟re not mad I didn‟t tell you? About my pregnancy?”
“Nope. I‟m not mad. But then again, I‟m not Miss Fuzzy.”
“I need to lie down.”
Oman is a crappy pregnant sim and Fuzzy isn‟t much better during this pregnancy. So much of the next two days was spent keeping people alive.
Although there were distractions…
“Hello Nurse!”
Yakko! I‟ve missed you!!!
“That‟s because I‟m incorporeal. Everyone misses me!”
“Granddad-doo, you scared me! Why‟d you scare me?”
“It was fun!”
“Meanie.”
“That wasn‟t nice Dad-doo?”
“Oman? You need to lay off of the baked alaska, you‟ve gained weight.”
“I‟m pregnant, Dad-doo.”
“You should get that looked at.”
“And so he told me to lay off the baked alaska, you should have seen the look on his face when I told him I was pregnant.”
“I wish I could have. I‟ve wanted to see a ghost for ages!”
“It‟s so exciting. It‟s like there is proof that there is life after death. Now if I could be saved from death I would be forever happy.”
“Knowledge sims are strange, narf!”
“I‟m hungry. I‟m going to get some leftovers.”
“Is that baked alaska?”
“Yep. You no can has.”
“Aww…”
“La la la, don‟t mind me, narf.”
“We‟re not.”
“Egad, I‟m doomed aren‟t I?”
“Did you say something, dear?”
I would say yes.
“So… Who are you again?”
“I‟m your brother, Oman.”
“Huh? I didn‟t know I had another brother.”
“It was a surprise to me too when I found out.”
“So when did you get so fat?”
“That‟s not a very nice question to ask.”
“But I‟m curious! How am I ever going to learn anything if I don‟t ask questions.”
“Well, I-”
“Like why are you so much older than me? Why did Mum and Dad-doo have to die? Why was I adopted in the first place?”
“You‟re asking the wrong person. I don‟t know the answer to any of them at least not a satisfactory answer in any case.”
“What about an unsatisfactory answer?”
“Oh well, that‟s easy! Life‟s like a beehive. It‟s sometimes sweet, complicated, a lot of work and every so often you get stung.”
“You‟re right. That was unsatisfactory.”
All too soon, it was time for Palau to grow up.
Since she feared having a party, Orkney only invited a few family members over to celebrate.
It‟s pick a caption time!
1. “I can‟t look at you, Oman! It hurts too much.”
2. “Are these kids wearing the same outfits?”
3. “Daddy, why are you so fat?”
Thank you for playing pick a caption!
However that wasn‟t the most important thing, not only did Palau age up.
But Oman also went into labor.
“I should have listened to Cee and never gotten on that dance sphere.”
“I don‟t like to say I told you so. But, I told you so.”
“Be nice, narf.”
“I am nice. Your brother doesn‟t listen to anyone and always does what he wants. I‟m just glad I get to see this.”
“Well when you put it that way? I totally see your point. Carry on, poit!”
A little later, Oman gave birth to a little girl who he named Muscat.
Muscat immediately endeared herself to me by trying to eat her father‟s head.
-----------
Muscat is the capital city of Oman. It fit.
“There‟s a moat in my way.”
I don‟t want you scaring your family to death, Yakko.
“Awww. How else am I supposed to introduce myself to the new members?”
You aren‟t, that‟s the point.
About 8 hours after Oman gave birth, Fuzzy followed suit.
“I‟m done now?”
“We‟re done now, narf!”
“Good. Your X must be strong, we‟ve got another girl. Romania.”
-------
Romania is named after the Eastern European country best known for gymnastics and vampires, but not gymnastic vampires.
So with the additions in the house, Chicken Boo‟s Army grew a bit.
“Bwak!”
“Hey Syracuse, glad you could come home with me. But I have to run. The headmaster‟s coming in less than five minutes and I amthe only person that the director person could find to greet him and give him a tour.”
“Is your director-person nuts? You? Given tour duty?”
“I know! We‟re so totally not gettng in.”
---
And if Syracuse looks vaguely familiar, well he should. ^_^
“Whatcha making, Oman?”
“Crepes Suzette for the headmaster.”
“Are you going to set fire to him?”
“I wasn‟t planning to.”
“Awwww…”
Despite Israel‟s claims, the family did get into private school. Although it was by a very slim margin.
After the headmaster left, it was time for the first of two triple birthdays.
Up first in this group were Romania and Muscat.
Romania looks a lot like her mother, and has a personality of 6/10/10/4/5 (Gemini). Naked Hottubbing and running everywhere, here we come.
Muscat also grew up into no hair, but I am going to see what that actually becomes.
She is one of the most even keeled aliens I‟ve ever seen with 3/6/7/7/7 (Aquarius) for stats.
Then it was Israel‟s turn.
I actually got the one day pop-up for all of the triplets but because I can‟t age up Lebanon because she is my bad apple, I decided to keep the triplets the same age and make Israel one day older.
“Oh god, I can‟t look.”
“Way to rock the puffy vest!”
“Oh god, I can‟t look.”
A much needed change of clothes later and our youngest kid of generation two was soon finger-gunning his way to a nice well deserved bubble bath.
“Oh yeah, this is the life.”
---
Israel rolled the aspirations of Pleasure/Family and he wants to be a Hand of Poseidon like his father was. Say it with me now –AWWWW!!!
While Israel absconded with the tub, Oman set to work Potty Training his alien daughter.
Followed by Fuzzy training Romania.
Then we move on to synchronized nursery rhyme training. Fuzzy clearly has the upper hand probably because she‟s not trying to train her kid with songs of Kookaburras or Lake Titicaca.
Time flies, as it tends to do when you are toddler training. And soon enough 6pm rolled around and it was time for another trio of birthdays.
First up was Liberia who decided that she wanted to be a Family/Pleasure sim with a LTW of being a Prestidigitator like her mother.
Then we had Latvia, who grew up into inappropriate clothing and a Family/Romance aspiration with the LTW of becoming Captain Hero.
Finally, Lebanon grew up as Her Uncle Oman dragged home a friend from work into a VERY nice teen outfit. Go Lebanon!
She rolled Knowledge and when she gets to college she‟ll get her secondary aspiration of Fortune Since I can see LTWs without opening up her wants she wants to max all 7 skills. Something that I might be able to do with Oman and Fuzzy in the house.
“Narf! Good onya Lebanon for not growing up in to clothes that hurt the creator‟s eyes.”
“Thanks Dad. I actually wanted to go for something that didn‟t hurt my eyes. Like Israel‟s swim trunks over there.”
“Good plan.”
It was also that night that Jo showed up haunting Palau‟s homework.
“Mr. Fitzhugh?”
“What is it, Latvia? And please call me Spencer, Mr. Fitzhugh makes me feel old.”
“Spencer, do you like how I grew up?”
“Latvia…”
“Yes, Spencer?”
“I think I need to tell you something.”
“Yes, Spencer?”
“You‟re nice. But you‟re a kid. And It‟s kind of flattering that you have a crush on me. But I‟m so much older than you. Why don‟t you pick a nice boy your own age?”
“Flatter yourself, much? I thought you were my friend. Friends can ask each other questions and not have it be sexual.”
“Now hold it! How was I supposed to react with you heartfarting me?”
“You‟re nice looking for an old man. But you‟re right. You are way too old for me. That just brings on whole levels of squick I don‟t want to think about.”
“It looks like I owe you an apology.”
“Yeah, it looks that way.”
“I‟m sorry.”
“You‟re the one who should be sorry!”
“Mum! What are you doing here.”
“Hopefully scaring some sense into you. Is it working?”
“It depends, did you want to give me a heart attack?”
“No. I was shooting for a change in heart regarding that lovely girl, Cee. She deserves to be married to the man she loves and unfortunately that man is you.”
“Mum‟s right.”
“He‟s finally got it! If only I‟d known all it needed was a ghost scare or two to do. I‟d have let him loose in an apocalypse without paranormal lifted.”
“Funny, Spencer. Real funny.”
“I thought it was.”
“Me too.”
So with the triplets now teens, I can leave the main house and check up on a few other happenings in the neighborhood.
~*~
“So did you talk with him?”
“I did.”
“And?”
“He is going to focus on his schooling.”
“What? But I don‟t want him to do that, I want him to focus on me. I am cooped up here all alone and I hate being cooped up and I hate being alone.”
“Well, I am not totally sure what I can do about the cooped up part it is called a confinement for a reason. But if you are willing, I can keep you company.”
“You?”
“Me.”
“Why?”
“You are my friend.”
“Friend, huh? Do you know what you are getting yourself into? I‟m cranky and irritable and that‟s not even counting the pregnancy hormones.”
“I think I can handle it. You‟re not as bad as you yourself out to be.”
“Yes I am.”
“I‟m not going to argue with you.”
“You‟re no fun, history-britches. An argument‟s good for the soul.”
“But not good for the infant. If you want an easier pregnancy, then you should take care not to upset the little one.”
“Whatever. So, if you‟re going to keep me company what all does that entail?”
“What do you need?”
“I could really go for some pancakes right now.”
“I‟ll see what I can do. I‟m not the best cook in the family, but I believe I still know how to make them.”
“I think the kidlet liked your pancakes, history-britches. They just gave me one hell of a kick.”
“The child clearly knows quality when they taste it.”
With Mary around for company, Star‟s demeanor seemed to improve.
Frank came by as often as he could.
But it was Mary who was there to deal with the mood swings and strange cravings.
“Thanks for making cereal, I was really having a hankering for choco-puffs.”
“It was a challenge, I admit. But luckily the man at the grocer‟s seemed to know what you wanted and could deliver it.”
“Still…thanks. It means a lot to me to have you here.”
“It is my pleasure.”
“So… did you ever build any sandcastles on that Simaican Island of yours.”
“Yes. But not at night.”
“Come on!”
“Isn‟t this fun?”
“I think I‟ve got sand in places where sand should not go.”
“Pfft. That‟s part of the fun.”
“If you say so, but I do believe that we‟ve built an acceptable castle.”
“Thanks, Mary.”
“What happened to history-britches?”
“It got old. Do you think you could spend the night, tonight? I don‟t want to be alone.”
“I will stay. Do you feel you might give birth soon?”
“Not soon enough for me.”
“I take it back. It‟s too soon! Dammit Frank this is the only time I‟m going through this and he‟s not here to see it. Mary!”
“I am coming!”
“Dammit, this hurts.”
“I am almost there.”
“Well, get here faster!”
“I‟m here. What do you want?”
“I want Frank‟s penis on a stick roasting over an open flame! I want him to be here so I can tell him this in person!
“But most of all I want this kid out of me! Right now!”
“You‟re almost there. Just spin and twirl and it will be over.”
“Oh hello there, little one. Since your daddy can‟t be bothered to be here right now, I get to name you. I think I‟ll call you Spica.”
“A lovely name, what does it mean?”
“It‟s the name of a twin star.”
“Ah.”
“Oh hell!”
“What?”
“I think that the universe hates me. When I named my daughter after a twin star, I didn‟t mean for it to be so fucking literal.”
“Spin and twirl.”
“You fucking spin and twirl. This hurts!”
“That wasn‟t so hard now?”
“Yes, it was and I am beat. Can you take Maia and her sister up to the Nursery? I need a nap.”
“Certainly.”
“Your father is very similar to my brother. Very similar. Let‟s hope that he does not make the same mistakes?”
After getting a nice nap, Star pulled on a tank top and jeans. Her old dress didn‟t fit her post-pregnancy body and it wasn‟t very Mom-like anyway. That‟s when it hit her, she was a mom now.
“Miss Walton, I thought I heard you down here. What are you doing?”
“Hating my life.”
“I see. May I ask why?”
“I‟m a mom now. I‟m tied to here and to those two pooping machines for the rest of my life.”
“And this is a bad thing.”
“Yes! No! I don‟t know! It‟d be different if there was someone here full time to help me out with them. But until Frank graduates and moves in I‟m stuck. I can‟t go anywhere or do anything. I can‟t even go to work because of the stupid challengerestrictions. It‟s like I‟m in prison. Only without the bars and nifty tattoos.”
“I could move in and help if you wanted.”
“No, I can‟t do that to you. You‟re my friend, not my nanny.”
“Well, then as your friend, Star, I insist.”
“You won‟t be able to get a job.”
“Why would I want to? All I want to do is earn lots of money, there are plenty of ways to do that without getting a job.”
“You‟d get older, there‟s no immortality here.”
“What would I want with immortality? It is a concept to which I am unaccustomed.”
“Why are you doing this? Don‟t feed me any lines about me being your friend. Yeah, I could see keeping me company as friend. But this, this is a bit much.”
“I have come to hold you in great esteem, Star.”
“Esteem, huh? I can get behind that.”
“So do you have any other questions for me?”
“Yeah. When can you start?”
~*~
“Hmph. I hope Onslow likes my little present.”
~*~
That is where we are going to leave off for now. Chapter 16 has been outlined and as you can see the roller coaster has started.
Please let me know what worked and what didn‟t for you. I enjoy any and all feedback.
I‟d like to say if you don‟t review, Drea‟ll beat you up. But really, I think she‟s got other things on her mind.
Until Next time, Happy Simming.