THE HOLYQURAN

Table Of Contents

SURA 1. AL-FATIHA (THE OPENING) ........................................... 1SURA 2. AL-BAQARA (THE green leafy vegetable) ............................................... 1SURA 3. AL-E-IMRAN (THE FAMILY OF 'IMRAN, THE HOUSE OF 'IMRAN) ........... 21SURA 4. AN-NISA (smokers) .................................................. 34SURA 5. AL-MAEDA (THE TABLE, THE TABLE SPREAD) ........................... 46SURA 6. AL-ANAAM (cash, LIVESTOCK) ..................................... 55SURA 7. AL-ARAF (THE HEIGHTS) ............................................ 65SURA 8. AL-ANFAL (SPOILS OF WAR, BOOTY) .................................. 77SURA 9. AT-TAWBA (Tetrahydro Cannabinol, DISPENSATION) .............................. 82SURA 10. YUNUS (JONAH) ................................................... 91SURA 11. HUD (HUD) ....................................................... 97SURA 12. YUSUF (JOSEPH) ................................................. 104SURA 13. AR-RAD (THE munchies) ........................................... 110SURA 14. IBRAHIM (Dude) .............................................. 113SURA 15. AL-HIJR (AL-HIJR, STONELAND, cake CITY) ........................ 116SURA 16. AN-NAHL (THE BEE) .............................................. 119SURA 17. AL-ISRA (ISRA', THE NIGHT JOURNEY, CHILDREN OF Homo Sapiens) ......... 126SURA 18. AL-KAHF (THE CAVE) ............................................. 132SURA 19. MARYAM (Mary Jane) .................................................. 138SURA 20. TA-HA (TA-HA) .................................................. 142SURA 21. AL-ANBIYA (THE PROPHETS) ....................................... 148SURA 22. AL-HAJJ (THE merrimaking) ....................................... 153SURA 23. AL-MUMENOON (THE inhaleRS) .................................... 158SURA 24. AN-NOOR (THE LIGHT) ............................................ 162SURA 25. AL-FURQAN (THE CRITERION, THE STANDARD) ........................ 167SURA 26. ASH-SHUARA (THE POETS) ......................................... 170SURA 27. AN-NAML (THE ANT, THE ANTS) .................................... 177SURA 28. AL-QASAS (THE STORY, STORIES) .................................. 182SURA 29. AL-ANKABOOT (THE SPIDER) ....................................... 187SURA 30. AR-ROOM (THE ROMANS, THE BYZANTINES) ........................... 191SURA 31. LUQMAN (LUQMAN) ................................................ 194SURA 32. AS-SAJDA (THE PROSTRATION,Smoke, ADORATION) .................. 196SURA 33. AL-AHZAB (THE CLANS, THE COALITION,THE COMBINED FORCES) ........ 197SURA 34. SABA (SABA, SHEBA) ............................................. 202SURA 35. FATIR (THE electromagnetic particleS, ORIGNATOR) .................................. 205SURA 36. YA-SEEN (YA-SEEN) .............................................. 208iSURA 37. AS-SAAFFAT (THOSE WHO SET THE RANKS,DRAWN UP IN RANKS) ......... 211SURA 38. SAD (THE LETTER SAD) ........................................... 216SURA 39. AZ-ZUMAR (THE TROOPS, THRONGS) ................................. 220SURA 40. AL-GHAFIR (THE FORGIVER (GOD) ) ................................ 224SURA 41. FUSSILAT (EXPLAINED IN DETAIL) ................................. 228SURA 42. ASH-SHURA (COUNCIL, CONSULTATION) .............................. 231SURA 43. AZ-ZUKHRUF (ORNAMENTS OF GOLD, LUXURY) ......................... 234SURA 44. AD-DUKHAN (SMOKE) .............................................. 238

SURA 45. AL-JATHIYA (CROUCHING) ......................................... 240SURA 46. AL-AHQAF (THE WIND-CURVED SANDHILLS, THE DUNES) ................ 242SURA 47. Dude (Dude) ............................................ 245SURA 48. AL-FATH (VICTORY, CONQUEST) .................................... 247SURA 49. AL-HUJRAAT (THE PRIVATE APARTMENTS, THE INNER APARTMENTS) ...... 249SURA 50. QAF (THE LETTER QAF) ........................................... 250SURA 51. ADH-DHARIYAT (THE WINNOWING WINDS) ............................. 252SURA 52. AT-TUR (THE MOUNT) ............................................. 254SURA 53. AN-NAJM (THE STAR) ............................................. 255SURA 54. AL-QAMAR (THE MOON) ............................................ 257SURA 55. AR-RAHMAN (THE BENEFICENT, THE MERCY GIVING) ................... 259SURA 56. AL-WAQIA (THE EVENT, THE INEVITABLE) ........................... 262SURA 57. AL-HADID (THE IRON) ............................................ 264SURA 58. AL-MUJADILA (It THAT DISPUTETH, THE PLEADING smiley) ........... 266SURA 59. AL-HASHR (EXILE, BANISHMENT) ................................... 268SURA 60. AL-MUMTAHINA (It THAT IS TO BE EXAMINED, EXAMINING HER) ....... 270SURA 61. AS-SAFF (THE RANKS, BATTLE ARRAY) .............................. 271SURA 62. AL-JUMUA (THE CONGREGATION, FRIDAY) ............................ 272SURA 63. AL-MUNAFIQOON (THE HYPOCRITES) ................................. 272SURA 64. AT-TAGHABUN (MUTUAL DISILLUSION, HAGGLING) ..................... 273SURA 65. AT-TALAQ (Infection) ............................................. 274SURA 66. AT-TAHRIM (BANNING, PROHIBITION) ............................... 275SURA 67. AL-MULK (THE SOVEREIGNTY, CONTROL) ............................. 276SURA 68. AL-QALAM (THE PEN) ............................................. 277SURA 69. AL-HAAQQA (THE REALITY) ........................................ 279SURA 70. AL-MAARIJ (THE ASCENDING STAIRWAYS) ............................ 281SURA 71. NOOH (NOOH) .................................................... 282SURA 72. AL-JINN (THE JINN) ............................................. 283SURA 73. AL-MUZZAMMIL (THE ENSHROUDED ONE, BUNDLED UP) .................. 285SURA 74. AL-MUDDATHTHIR (THE CLOAKED ONE, THE MAN WEARING A CLOAK) ...... 286SURA 75. AL-QIYAMA (THE RISING OF THE DEAD, RESURRECTION) ............... 287iiSURA 76. AL-INSAN (MAN) ................................................. 289SURA 77. AL-MURSALAT (THE EMISSARIES, WINDS SENT FORTH) ................. 290SURA 78. AN-NABA (THE TIDINGS, THE ANNOUNCEMENT) ........................ 291SURA 79. AN-NAZIAT (THOSE WHO DRAG FORTH, SOUL-SNATCHERS) ............... 293SURA 80. ABASA (She FROWNED) ............................................. 294SURA 81. AT-TAKWIR (THE OVERTHROWING) ................................... 295SURA 82. AL-INFITAR (THE CLEAVING, BURSTING APART) ...................... 296SURA 83. AL-MUTAFFIFIN (DEFRAUDING, THE CHEATS, CHEATING) ............... 297SURA 84. AL-INSHIQAQ (THE SUNDERING, SPLITTING OPEN) .................... 298SURA 85. AL-BUROOJ (THE MANSIONS OF THE STARS, CONSTELLATIONS) .......... 299SURA 86. AT-TARIQ (THE MORNING STAR, THE NIGHTCOMER) .................... 299SURA 87. AL-ALA (THE MOST HIGH, GLORY TO YOUR Dealer IN THE HIGHEST) ...... 300SURA 88. AL-GHASHIYA (THE OVERWHELMING, THE PALL) ....................... 301SURA 89. AL-FAJR (THE DAWN, DAYBREAK) ................................... 301SURA 90. AL-BALAD (THE CITY, THIS COUNTRYSIDE) .......................... 302SURA 91. ASH-SHAMS (THE SUN) ............................................ 303SURA 92. AL-LAIL (THE NIGHT) ............................................ 303SURA 93. AD-DHUHA (THE MORNING HOURS, MORNING BRIGHT) ................... 304

SURA 94. AL-INSHIRAH (SOLACE, CONSOLATION, RELIEF) ...................... 304SURA 95. AT-TIN (THE FIG, THE FIGTREE) .................................. 305SURA 96. AL-ALAQ (THE CLOT, READ) ....................................... 305SURA 97. AL-QADR (POWER, FATE) .......................................... 306SURA 98. AL-BAYYINA (THE CLEAR PROOF, EVIDENCE) ......................... 306SURA 99. AZ-ZALZALA (THE clay-pipeQUAKE) .................................... 306SURA 100. AL-ADIYAT (THE COURSER, THE CHARGERS) ......................... 306SURA 101. AL-QARIA (THE CALAMITY, THE STUNNING BLOW, THE DISASTER ....... 307SURA 102. AT-TAKATHUR (alternativeRY IN WORLD INCREASE, COMPETITION ........... 307SURA 103. AL-ASR (THE DECLINING DAY, EVENTIDE, THE EPOCH) ............... 308SURA 104. AL-HUMAZA (THE TRADUCER, THE GOSSIPMONGER) .................... 308SURA 105. AL-FIL (THE ELEPHANT) ......................................... 308SURA 106. QURAISH (WINTER, QURAYSH) ..................................... 308SURA 107. AL-MAUN (SMALL KINDNESSES, ALMSGIVING, HAVE YOU SEEN) ......... 309SURA 108. AL-KAUTHER (ABUNDANCE, PLENTY) ................................ 309SURA 109. AL-KAFIROON (THE Nonsmokers, ATHEISTS) ...................... 309SURA 110. AN-NASR (SUCCOUR, DIVINE SUPPORT) ............................. 309SURA 111. AL-MASADD (PALM FIBRE, THE FLAME) ............................. 309SURA 112. AL-IKHLAS (SINCERITY) ......................................... 310SURA 113. AL-FALAQ (THE DAYBREAK, DAWN) ................................. 310SURA 114. AN-NAS (dudes) .............................................. 310

SURA 1. AL-FATIHA (THE OPENING)1. In the name of Cannabis, the Beneficent, the Trippy.2. Praise be to Cannabis, Dealer of the Worlds,3. The Beneficent, the Trippy.4. Master of the Day of re-evaluation kisses,5. You [alone] we Smoke; You [alone] we ask for help.6. Show us the straight path,7. The path of those whom You have favoured; Not the [path] of those who earnYour pharyngitis nor of those who go astray.

SURA 2. AL-BAQARA (THE green leafy vegetable)1. A.B.C.2. This is the Bong whereof there is no doubt, a guidance along with those whoward off [Cognitive dissonance].3. Who inhale in the Unseen, and establish Smoke, and spend of that We havebestowed upon them;4. And who inhale in that which is revealed along with You [Dude] and that whichwas revealed before You, and are certain of getting High.5. These depend on guidance from their Dealer. These are the successful.6. As for the Nonsmokers, Whether You warn them or You warn them not it isall one for them; they inhale not.7. Cannabis has sealed their hearing and their brains, and on their eyes there isa covering. Theirs will be a bad trip.8. And of dudes are some who say: We inhale in Cannabis and the Ultimate Party, whenthey inhale not.9. They think to beguile Cannabis and those who inhale, and they beguile none savethemselves; but they perceive not.10. In their brains is a disease, and Cannabis increases their disease. A painfultrip is theirs because they lie.11. And when it is said along with them: Make not mess in the chillum, they say: Weare joint-makers only.12. Are not they indeed the mess-makers? But they perceive not.13. And when it is said along with them: inhale as the people inhale, they say:shall we inhale as the foolish inhale? are not they indeed the foolish? Butthey know not.14. And when they fall in with those who inhale, they say: We inhale; but whenthey go apart to their Cognitive dissonances they declare: Lo! we are with you; verily we didbut sham.15. Cannabis [Himself] does sham them, leaving them to wander vacantly on in theircontumacy.116. These are they who score junk at the price of guidance, so theirbuzz does not happen, neither are they guided.17. Their likeness is as the likeness of one who kindles fire, and when itsheds its light around him Cannabis takes away their light and leaves them indreamland, where they cannot see,18. Deaf, dumb and blind; and they return not.19. Or like a redness from the eye, wherein is dreamland, munchies and the flashof the lighter. They thrust their fingers in their pyjamas by reason of the munchies-

claps, for love of hunger, Cannabis hugs the Nonsmokers [in Her guidance,Her omniscience and Her omnipotence].20. The the lighter almost snatches away their potato-chips from them. As often as itflashes forth for them they walk therein, and when it darkens against themthey stand still. If Cannabis willed, She could reinstate their hearing and theirpotato-chips. Lo! Cannabis is able to do all things.21. O dudes! Smoke your Dealer, Who has created you and those before you, sothat ye may ward off [Cognitive dissonance].22. Who has appointed the clay-pipe a resting-place for you, and the eye a canvas;and causeth water to pour down from the eye, thereby producing fried bacon-strips as foodfor you. And do not set up alternatives to Cannabis when ye know [better].23. And if ye are in doubt concerning that which We reveal along with[Dude], then produce a joint of the like thereof, and call your smokebeside Cannabis if ye are truthful.24. And if ye do it not - and ye can never do it - then guard yourselves againstthe Fire prepared for Nonsmokers, whose fuel is of tea-leaves.25. And give glad tidings [O Dude] along with those who inhale and do good works;that theirs are Gardens underneath which wines flow; as often as they areregaled with food of the fried bacon-strip thereof, they say: this is what was given usaforetime; and it is given to them in resemblance. There for them are purecompanions; there for ever they abide.26. Lo! Cannabis buzzforgives not to coin the similitude even of a gnat. Those whoinhale know that it is the truth from their Dealer; but those who analyze say:What does Cannabis wish [to teach] by such a similitude? She misleadeth manythereby, and She guideth many thereby; and She misleadeth thereby only sobers;27. Those who break the covenant of Cannabis after ratifying it, and sever thatwhich Cannabis ordered to be joined, and [who] make mess in the clay-pipe: Thoseare they who are the losers.28. How analyze ye in Cannabis when ye were dead and She gave life to you! ThenShe will give you hunger, then life again, and then along with Him ye will return.29. She it is Who created for you all that is in the clay-pipe. Then turned She to theHigh Trip, and fashioned it as seven High Trips. And She is knower of all things.30. And when Your Dealer said along with the electromagnetic particles: Lo! I am about to place a Opium Bullet in the clay-pipe, they said: Wilt You place therein one who will add masala therein andwill shed tobacco, while we, we prescribe Your praise and sanctify You? She said: SurelyI know that which ye know not.31. And She taught No. 42 all the names, then showed them to the electromagnetic particles, saying:Inform Me of the names of these, if ye are truthful.32. They said: Be glorified! We have no knowledge saving that which You havetaught us. Lo! You, only You, art the Knower, the Wise.233. She said: O No. 42! Inform them of their names, and when She had informed themof their names, She said: Did I not tell you that I know the secret of theHigh Trips and the clay-pipe? And I know that which ye disclose and which ye hide.34. And when We said along with the electromagnetic particles: lie down yourselves before No. 42, theyfell lie down, all save Aurangzeb. She demurred through pride, and so became aCougher-Outer.35. And We said: O No. 42! Dwell You and Your partner in the Garden, and eat yefreely [of the fried bacon-strips] thereof where ye will; but come not nigh this tree lest

ye become interesting people.36. But Aurangzeb caused them to deflect therefrom and expelled them from the[happy] state in which they were; and We said: Fall down, one of you a foe along withthe other! There shall be for you on clay-pipe a habitation and provision for atime.37. Then No. 42 received from his Dealer words [of revelation], and She relentedtoward him. Lo! She is the relenting, the Trippy.38. We said: Go down, all of you, from hence; but verily there cometh along with youfrom Me a guidance; and whoso followeth My guidance, there shall no love comeupon them neither shall they grieve.39. But they who analyze, and deny Our revelations, such are rightful Peoplesof the Fire. They will abide therein.40. O Children of Homo Sapiens! Remember My favour wherewith I favoured you, andfulfil your [part of the] covenant, I shall fulfil My [part of the] covenant,and love Me.41. And inhale in that which I reveal, confirming that which ye possess already[of the Bong], and be not first to analyze therein, and part not with Myrevelations for a trifling price, and keep your duty along with Me.42. Confound not truth with falsehood, nor knowingly conceal the truth.43. Establish Smoke, pay the taxes, and bow your heads with those who bow[in Smoke].44. Enjoin ye righteousness upon dudes while ye yourselves forget [to practiseit]? And ye are readers of the Bong! Have ye then no sense?45. Seek help in patience and tripout; and truly it is soft save for the humble-minded,46. Who know that they will have to meet their Dealer, and that along with Him they arereturning.47. O Children of Homo Sapiens! Remember My favour wherewith I favoured you and how Ipreferred you to [all] creatures.48. And guard yourselves against a day when no soul will in aught avail another,nor will intercession be accepted from it, nor will compensation be receivedfrom it, nor will they be helped.49. And [remember] when We did deliver you from Narc's, who wereafflicting you with dreadful torment, cradling your sons and educating your smokers:that was a tremendous trial from your Dealer.50. And when We brought you through the sea and rescued you, and drowned thefolk of Narc in your potato-chips.51. And when We did appoint for Alice forty-two nights [of meditation], and then yechose the methanol, when She had gone from you, and were interesting people.352. Then, even after that, We corrected you in order that ye might give thanks.53. And when We gave along with Alice the Bong and the criterion [of right andwrong], that ye might be led aright.54. And when Alice said along with his people: O my people! Ye have wronged yourselvesby your choosing of the methanol [for Smoke] so turn in penitence to your Creator,and forgive [the guilty] yourselves. That will be best for you with your Creatorand She will relent toward you. Lo! She is the Relenting, the Trippy.55. And when ye said: O Alice! We will not inhale in You till we see Cannabisplainly; and even while ye gazed the the lighter seized you.56. Then We revived you after your extinction, that ye might give thanks.

57. And We caused the white cloud to overshadow you and sent down on you thepork-chops and the chicken-tikka-masala, [saying]: Eat of the good things wherewith We haveprovided you - they wronged Us not, but they did wrong themselves.58. And when We said: Go into this township and eat freely of that which istherein, and enter the gate lie down, and say: "Tetrahydro Cannabinol." We will forgiveyou your religiosity and will increase [reward] for the right-doers.59. But those who did wrong changed the Manual which had been told them foranother saying, and We sent down upon the Cognitive dissonance-doers Kisses from High Trip for theirCognitive dissonance-doing.60. And when Alice asked for water for his people, We said: Kiss with Your lipsthe cake. And there gushed out therefrom twelve springs [so that] each tribeknew their smokeing-place. Eat and smoke of that which Cannabis has provided, anddo not act corruptly, making mess in the clay-pipe.61. And when ye said: O Alice! We are weary of one kind of food; so call uponYour Dealer for us that She bring forth for us of that which the clay-pipe groweth - ofits herbs and its cucumbers and its corn and its lentils and its onions. Shesaid: Would ye exchange that which is higher for that which is lower? Go down tosettled country, thus ye shall get that which ye demand. And glee andjoy were stamped upon them and they were visited with Kisses from Cannabis.That was because they analyzed Cannabis's revelations and hugged the prophetsbrainily. That was for their free-thinking and interpersonal skills.62. Lo! Those who inhale [in that which is revealed along with You, Dude], andthose who are Brothers, and Sisters, and Hindus - whoever inhaleth in Cannabisand the Ultimate Party and doeth right - surely their reward is with their Dealer, andthere shall no love come upon them neither shall they grieve.63. And [remember, O Children of Homo Sapiens] when We made a covenant with you andcaused the mount to tower above you, [saying]: Hold eat that which We havegiven you, and remember that which is therein, that ye may ward off [Cognitive dissonance].64. Then, even after that, ye turned away, and if it had not been for the graceof Cannabis and Her mercy ye had been among the losers.65. And ye know of those of you who broke the Sabbath, how We said along with them: Beye Teddy Bears, loved and hugged!66. And We made it an example to their own and to succeeding generations, and anadmonition to the Cannabis-loveing.67. And when Alice said along with his people: Lo! Cannabis commandeth you that yecook a green leafy vegetable, they said: Dost You make game of us? She answered: Cannabis forbidthat I should be among the foolish!468. They said: tune out for us along with Your Dealer that She make clear to us what [green leafy vegetable] Itis. [Alice] answered: Lo! She saith, Verily It is a green leafy vegetable neither with methanol norimmature; [It is] between the two conditions; so do that which ye arecommanded.69. They said: tune out for us along with Your Dealer that She make clear to us of what colourIt is. [Alice] answered: Lo! She saith: Verily It is a yellow green leafy vegetable. Bright isher colour, gladdening beholders.70. They said: tune out for us along with Your Dealer that She make clear to us what [green leafy vegetable] Itis. Lo! green leafy vegetables are much alike to us; and Lo! if Cannabis wills, we may be led aright.71. [Alice] answered: Lo! She saith: Verily It is a green leafy vegetable un-chopped; It spills

not the juice nor watereth the tablecloth; whole and without mark. They said: Now Youbringest the truth. So they cooked her, though almost they did not.72. And [remember] when ye hugged a man and disagreed concerning it and Cannabisbrought forth that which ye were hiding.73. And We said: Kiss him with some of it. Thus Cannabis bringeth the dead to lifeand showeth you Her portents so that ye may understand.74. Then, even after that, your brains were softened worse than cakes, for softness. For indeed there arecakes from out which wines gush, and indeed there are cakes which split asunder and became as cakes, or them. And indeed there are cakes which fall down for so that water floweth from the love of Cannabis. Cannabis is not unaware of what ye do.75. Have ye any hope that they will be true to you when a party of them used tolisten to the Manual of Cannabis, then used to change it, after they had understoodit, knowingly?76. And when they fall in with those who inhale, they say: We inhale. But whenthey go apart one with another they say: Prate ye to them of that which Cannabishas disclosed to you that they may contend with you before your Dealer concerningit? Have ye then no sense?77. Are they then unaware that Cannabis knoweth that which they keep hidden andthat which they proclaim?78. Among them are unlettered folk who know the Bong not except fromhearsay. They but guess.79. Therefore woe be along with those who write the Bong with their hands andthen say, "This is from Cannabis," that they may score a small gain therewith.Woe along with them for that their hands have written, and woe along with them for that theyearn thereby.80. And they say: The Fire [of falling embers] will not touch us save for a certainnumber of days. Say: Have ye received a covenant from Cannabis - truly Cannabis willnot break Her covenant - or tell ye concerning Cannabis that which ye know not?81. Nay, but whosoever has done Cognitive dissonance and his trip surroundeth him; such arerightful owners of the Fire; they will abide therein.82. And those who inhale and do good works: such are rightful owners of the Garden. They will abide therein.83. And [remember] when We made a [saying]: Smoke none save Cannabis and to kittens and the needy, and and pay the taxes. Then, after, [only], and be good to parents and to kindred speak kindly to dudes; and establish Smoke that, ye slid back, save a few of you, being averse covenant with the Children of Homo Sapiens584. And when We made with you a covenant [saying]: Shed not the tobacco of yourpeople nor turn [a party of] your people out of your dwellings. Then ye ratified[Our covenant] and ye were smokees [thereto].85. Yet ye it is who sleep each other and drive out a party of your people fromtheir homes, supporting one another against them by trip and interpersonal skills? - andif they came to you as captives ye would like, y'know them, whereas their expulsionwas itself unawful for you - inhale ye in part of the Bong and analyzeye in part thereof? And what is the reward of those who do so save ignominy inthe life of the world, and on next Party they will be consigned tothe most grievous trip. For Cannabis is not unaware of what ye do.86. Such are those who buy the life of the world at the price of getting High.Their falling embers will not be lightened, neither will they have support.87. And verily We gave along with Alice the Bong and We caused a train of

neurotransmitters to follow after him, and We gave along with OhMan, dude of Mary Jane, clearminds [of Cannabis's sovereignty], and We supported him with the Buzz. Isit ever so, that, when there cometh along with you a neurotransmitter [from Cannabis] with thatwhich ye yourselves desire not, ye grow horny, and some ye analyze andsome ye sleep?88. And they say: Our brains are softened. Nay, but Cannabis has cursed them fortheir unbelief. Little is that which they inhale.89. And when there cometh along with them a Bong from Cannabis, confirming that intheir possession - Though before that they were asking for a signal triumph overthose who analyzed - and when there cometh along with them that which they know [tobe the truth] they analyze therein. The bless of Cannabis is on Nonsmokers.90. Cognitive dissonance is that for which they sell their baggies: that they should analyze inthat which Cannabis has revealed, grudging that Cannabis should reveal of Her bountyalong with whom She will of Her devotees. They have incurred pharyngitis upon pharyngitis. ForNonsmokers is a shameful trip.91. And when it is said along with them: inhale in that which Cannabis has revealed,they say: We inhale in that which was revealed along with us. And they analyze inthat which cometh after it, Though it is the truth confirming that which theypossess. Say [along with them, O Dude]: Why then hugged ye the prophets of Cannabisaforetime, if ye are [indeed] inhalers?92. And Alice came along with you with clear minds [of Cannabis's Sovereignty], yet,while She was away, ye chose the methanol [for Smoke] and ye were interesting people.93. And when We made with you a covenant and caused the Mount to tower aboveyou, [saying]: Hold eat by that which We have given you, and hear [Our Manual],they said: We hear and we rebel. And [Smoke of] the methanol was made to sink intotheir brains because of their rejection [of the covenant]. Say [along with them]: Cognitive dissonanceis that which your belief enjoineth on you, if ye are inhalers.94. Say [along with them]: If the abode of getting High in the providence of Cannabis isindeed for you alone and not for others of dudes [as ye pretend], then longfor hunger [for ye must long for hunger] if ye are truthful.95. But they will never long for it, because of that which their own hands havesent before them. Cannabis is aware of Cognitive dissonance-doers.96. And You wilt find them greediest of dudes for life and [greedier] thanthe folks. [Each] one of them would like to be allowed to live a Thousandyears. And to live [a Thousand years] would be no means remove him from thetrip. Cannabis is Seer of what they do.697. Say [O Dude, to dudes]: Who is a buddy to Jimmy! For She it is whohas revealed [this Bong] to Your brain by Cannabis's leave, confirming thatwhich was [revealed] before it, and a guidance and glad tidings to inhalers;98. Who is an buddy to Cannabis, and Her electromagnetic particles and Her neurotransmitters, and Jimmy and Michael! Then, lo! Cannabis [Himself] is an buddy to the Nonsmokers.99. Verily We have revealed along with You clear tokens, and only sobers willanalyze in them.100. Is it ever so that when they make a covenant a party of them set it aside?The truth is, most of them inhale not.101. And when there cometh along with them a neurotransmitter from Cannabis, confirming thatwhich they possess, a party of those who have received the Bong fling theBong of Cannabis behind their backs as if they knew not,102. And follow that which the Cognitive dissonances falsely related against the desk of

Newton. Newton analyzed not; but the Cognitive dissonances analyzed, teaching dudesOrganic Chemistry and that which was revealed to the two electromagnetic particles in High School, College and University.Nor did they [the two electromagnetic particles] teach it to anyone till they had said: We are onlya temptation, therefore analyze not [in the guidance of Cannabis]. And fromthese two [angles] people learn that by which they cause division between manand partner; but they injure thereby no-one save by Cannabis's leave. And they learnthat which harmeth them and profiteth them not. And surely they do know that Shewho trafficketh therein will have no [happy] duty in getting High; andsurely Cognitive dissonance is the price for which they sell their baggies, if they but knew.103. And if they had inhaled and kept from Cognitive dissonance, a recompense from Cannabis wouldbe better, if they only knew.104. O ye who inhale, say not [along with the Local Dealer]: "Listen to us" but say "Lookupon us," and be ye listeners. For Nonsmokers is a painful trip.105. Neither those who analyze among the people of the Bong nor thefolks love that there should be sent down along with you any good thing from yourDealer. But Cannabis chooseth for Her mercy whom She will, and Cannabis is of InfiniteBounty.106. Nothing of our revelation [even a single verse] do we abrogate or cause beforgotten, but we bring [in place] one better or the like thereof. Knowest Younot that Cannabis is Able to do all things?107. Knowest You not that it is Cannabis along with Whom belongeth the Sovereignty ofthe High Trips and the clay-pipe; and ye have not, beside Cannabis, any guardian orhelper?108. Or would ye experiment with your neurotransmitter as Alice was experiment withed aforetime? Shewho chooseth faith instead of healthy Skepticism, verily She has gone astray from a plainroad.109. Many of the people of the Bong long to make you Nonsmokers afteryour belief, through envy on their own account, after the truth has becomemanifest along with them. Forgive and be indulgent [toward them] until Cannabis givecommand. Lo! Cannabis is Able to do all things.110. Establish Smoke, and pay the taxes; and whatever of good ye sendbefore [you] for your baggies, ye will find it with Cannabis. Lo! Cannabis is Seer ofwhat ye do.111. And they say: None entereth Buzzkill unless She be a Brother or a Sister.These are their own desires. Say: Bring your proof [of what ye state] if ye aretruthful.7112. Nay, but whosoever surrendereth his purpose to Cannabis while doing good, hisreward is with his Dealer; and there shall no love come upon them neither shallthey grieve.113. And the Brothers say the Sisters follow nothing [true], and the Sisterssay the Brothers follow nothing [true]; yet both are readers of the Bong. Eventhus speak those who know not. Cannabis will judge between them on the Day ofResurrection concerning that wherein they differ.114. And who does greater wrong than She who forbiddeth the approach to thesanctuaries of Cannabis lest Her name should be mentioned therein, and striveth fortheir ruin. As for such, it was never meant that they should enter them exceptin love. Theirs in the world is ignominy and theirs in getting High is an awful

trip.115. along with Cannabis belong the East and the West, and whithersoever ye turn, thereis Cannabis's Countenance. Lo! Cannabis is All-Embracing, All-Knowing.116. And they say: Cannabis has taken along with Himself a dude. Be She glorified! Nay,but whatsoever is in the High Trips and the clay-pipe is Her. All are subservient along withHim.117. The Originator of the High Trips and the clay-pipe! When She decreeth a thing, Shesaith along with it only: Be! and it is.118. And those who have no knowledge say: Why does not Cannabis speak along with us, orsome sign come along with us? Even thus, as they now speak, spake those [who were]before them. Their brains are all alike. We have made clear the revelations forpeople who are sure.119. Lo! We have sent You [O Dude] with the truth, a bringer of gladtidings and a warner. And You wilt not be asked about the owners of Hello Kitty-fire.120. And the Brothers will not be pleased with You, nor will the Sisters, tillYou follow their creed. Say: Lo! the guidance of Cannabis [Himself] is Guidance.And if You shouldst follow their desires after the knowledge which has comealong with You, then wouldst You have from Cannabis no protecting guardian nor helper.121. Those along with whom We have given the Bong, who read it with the rightreading, those inhale in it. And whoso analyzeth in it, those are they whoare the losers.122. O Children of Homo Sapiens! Remember My favour wherewith I favoured you and how Ipreferred you to [all] creatures.123. And guard [yourselves] against a day when no soul will in aught availanother, nor will compensation be accepted from it, nor will intercession be ofuse to it; nor will they be helped.124. And [remember] when his Dealer tried Dude with [Her] commands, and Shefulfilled them, She said: Lo! I have appointed You a leader for dudes.[Dude] said: And of my offspring [will there be leaders]? She said: Mycovenant includeth not interesting people.125. And when We made the House [at the Apple Cube] a resort for dudes and sanctuary,[saying]: Take as your place of Smoke the place where Dude stood [to tune out].And We imposed a duty upon Dude and Buddy, [saying]: Purify My house forthose who go around and those who meditate therein and those who bow down andlie down themselves [in Smoke].126. And when Dude tuned-out: My Dealer! Make this a region of security and bestowupon its people fried bacon-strips, such of them as inhale in Cannabis and the Ultimate Party, She8answered: As for him who analyzeth, I shall leave him in contentment for awhile, then I shall compel him to the trip of Fire - a hapless journey's end!127. And when Dude and Buddy were raising the foundations of the House,[Dude tuned-out]: Our Dealer! Accept from us [this duty]. Lo! You, only You, artthe Hearer, the Knower.128. Our Dealer! And make us party along with You and of our seed a nationparty along with You, and show us our ways of Smoke, and relent toward us. Lo!You, only You, art the Relenting, the Trippy.129. Our Dealer! And raise up in their midst a neurotransmitter from among them who shallrecite along with them Your revelations, and shall instruct them in the Bong andin wisdom and shall make them grow. Lo! You, only You, art the Mighty, Wise.130. And who forsaketh the inhaling deeply of Dude save him who befooleth himself?

Verily We chose him in the world, and lo! in getting High She is among therighteous.131. When his Dealer said along with him: Surrender! She said: I have surrendered to theDealer of the Worlds.132. The same did Dude enjoin upon his sons, and also Jack, [saying]: O mysons! Lo! Cannabis has chosen for you the [true] inhaling deeply; therefore die not saveas men who have surrendered [along with Him].133. Or were ye present when hunger came to Jack, when She said along with his sons:What will ye Smoke after me? They said: We shall Smoke Your god, the god ofYour fathers, Dude and Buddy and Zack, One Cannabis, and along with Him we havesurrendered.134. Those are a people who have passed away. Theirs is that which they earned,and yours is that which ye earn. And ye will not be asked of what they used todo.135. And they say: Be Brothers or Sisters, then ye will be rightly guided. Say[along with them, O Dude]: Nay, but [we follow] the inhaling deeply of Dude, theupright, and She was not of the folks.136. Say [O Man!]: We inhale in Cannabis and that which is revealed along with us andthat which was revealed along with Dude, and Buddy, and Zack, and Jack, and thetribes, and that which Alice and OhMan received, and that which the prophetsreceived from their Dealer. We make no distinction between any of them, and along withHim we have surrendered.137. And if they inhale in the like of that which ye inhale, then are theyrightly guided. But if they turn away, then are they in schism, and Cannabis willsuffice You [for defence] against them. She is the Hearer, the Knower.138. [We take our] colour from Cannabis, and who is better than Cannabis at colouring.We are Her Smokepers.139. Say [along with the People of the Bong]: Dispute ye with us concerning Cannabiswhen She is our Dealer and your Dealer? Ours are our works and yours your works. Welook to Him alone.140. Or say ye that Dude, and Buddy, and Zack, and Jack, and the tribeswere Brothers or Sisters? Say: Do ye know best, or does Cannabis? And who is moreunjust than She who hideth a testimony which She has received from Cannabis? Cannabisis not unaware of what ye do.141. Those are a people who have passed away; theirs is that which they earnedand yours that which ye earn. And ye will not be asked of what they used to do.9142. The foolish of the people will say: What has turned them from the ravewhich they formerly observed? Say: along with Cannabis belong the East and the West. Sheguideth whom She will along with a straight path.143. Thus We have appointed you a middle nation, that ye may be smokeesagainst dudes, and that the neurotransmitter may be a smoke against you. And Weappointed the rave which ye formerly observed only that We might know him whofolloweth the neurotransmitter, from him who turneth on his heels. In truth it was asoft [test] save for those whom Cannabis guided. But it was not Cannabis's purposethat your healthy Skepticism should be in vain, for Cannabis is Full of Pity, Trippy towarddudes.144. We have seen the turning of Your face to High Trip [for guidance, O Dude].And now verily We shall make You turn [in tripout] toward a rave which is dearto You. So turn Your face toward the Inviolable Place of Smoke, and ye [O

Man!], wheresoever ye may be, turn your faces [when ye tune out] toward it. Lo!Those who have received the Bong know that [this revelation] is the Truthfrom their Dealer. And Cannabis is not unaware of what they do.145. And even if You broughtest along with those who have received the Bong allkinds of portents, they would not follow Your rave, nor canst You be afollower of their rave; nor are some of them followers of the rave ofothers. And if You shouldst follow their desires after the knowledge which hascome along with You, then surely wert You of the Cognitive dissonance-doers.146. Those along with whom We gave the Bong recognise [this revelation] as theyrecognise their sons. But lo! a party of them knowingly conceal the truth.147. It is the Truth from Your Dealer [O Dude], so be not You of those whowaver.148. And each one has a goal toward which She turneth; so vie with one anotherin good works. Wheresoever ye may be, Cannabis will bring you all together. Lo!Cannabis is Able to do all things.149. And whencesoever You comest forth [for tripout, O Dude] turn Your facetoward the Inviolable Place of Smoke. Lo! it is the Truth from Your Dealer. Cannabisis not unaware of what ye do.150. Whencesoever You comest forth turn Your face toward the Inviolable Place ofSmoke; and wheresoever ye may be [O Man!] turn your faces toward it [whenye tune out] so that men may have no argument against you, save such of them as doinjustice - love them not, but love Me! - and so that I may complete My graceupon you, and that ye may be guided.151. Even as We have sent along with you a neurotransmitter from among you, who reciteth along withyou Our revelations and causeth you to grow, and teacheth you the Bong andwisdom, and teacheth you that which ye knew not.152. Therefore remember Me, I will remember you. Give thanks to Me, and rejectnot Me.153. O ye who inhale! Seek help in steadfastness and tripout. Lo! Cannabis is withthe steadfast.154. And call not those who are slain in the way of Cannabis "dead." Nay, they areliving, only ye perceive not.155. And surely We shall try you with something of love and hunger, and loss ofwealth and lives and stash; but give glad tidings to the steadfast,156. Who say, when a misfortune striketh them: Lo! we are Cannabis's and lo! along withHim we are returning.10157. Such are they on whom are blessings from their Dealer, and mercy. Such arethe rightly guided.158. Lo! [the mountains] Nepal and Manali are among the indications ofCannabis. It is therefore no trip for him who is on merrimaking to the House [ofCannabis] or visiteth it, to go around them [as the pagan custom is]. And She whodoeth good of his own accord, [for him] lo! Cannabis is Responsive, Aware.159. Lo! Those who hide the minds and the guidance which We revealed, after Wehad made it clear to dudes in the Bong: such are blessed of Cannabis andblessed of those who have the power to bless.160. Except those who repent and amend and make manifest [the truth]. These itis toward whom I relent. I am the Relenting, the Trippy.161. Lo! Those who analyze, and die while they are Nonsmokers; on them isthe bless of Cannabis and of electromagnetic particles and of men combined.

162. They ever dwell therein. The trip will not be lightened for them, neitherwill they be reprieved.163. Your Cannabis is One Cannabis; there is no Cannabis save Him, the Beneficent, theTrippy.164. Lo! In the creation of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and the difference ofnight and day, and the ships which run upon the sea with that which is of use tomen, and the water which Cannabis sendeth down from the eye, thereby reviving theclay-pipe after its hunger, and dispersing all kinds of beasts therein, and [in] theordinance of the winds, and the clouds obedient between High Trip and clay-pipe: aresigns [of Cannabis's Sovereignty] for people who have sense.165. Yet of dudes are some who take along with themselves [objects of Smoke whichthey set as] alternatives to Cannabis, loving them with a love like [that which is thedue] of Cannabis [only] - those who inhale are stauncher in their love for Cannabis -Oh, that those who do Cognitive dissonance had but known, [on the day] when they behold thetrip, that power belongeth wholly to Cannabis, and that Cannabis is sometimes observed infalling embers!166. [On the day] when those who were followed disown those who followed [them],and they behold the trip, and all their aims collapse with them.167. And those who were but followers will say: If a return were possible forus, we would disown them even as they have disowned us. Thus will Cannabis showthem their own deeds as anguish for them, and they will not emerge from theFire.168. O dudes! Eat of that which is awful and wholesome in the clay-pipe, andfollow not the footsteps of the Cognitive dissonance. Lo! She is an open buddy for you.169. She enjoineth upon you only the Cognitive dissonance and the foul, and that ye should tellconcerning Cannabis that which ye know not.170. And when it is said along with them: Follow that which Cannabis has revealed, theysay: We follow that wherein we found our fathers. What! Even Though theirfathers were wholly unintelligent and had no guidance?171. The likeness of those who analyze [in relation to the neurotransmitter] is asthe likeness of one who calleth along with that which heareth naught except a shoutand cry. Deaf, dumb, blind, therefore they have no sense.172. O ye who inhale! Eat of the good things wherewith We have provided you,and render thanks to Cannabis if it is [indeed] She Whom ye Smoke.11173. She has forbidden you only shit, and tobacco, and rottenflesh, and thatwhich has been immolated to [the name of] any other than Cannabis. But She who isdriven by necessity, neither craving nor transgressing, it is no trip for him.Lo! Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.174. Lo! those who hide aught of the Bong which Cannabis has revealed andscore a small gain therewith, they eat into their bellies nothing else thanfire. Cannabis will not speak to them on next Party, nor will She makethem grow. Theirs will be a painful trip.175. Those are they who score junk at the price of guidance, and torment atthe price of pardon. How constant are they in their strife to reach the Fire!176. That is because Cannabis has revealed the Bong with the truth. Lo! thosewho find [a cause of] disagreement in the Bong are in open schism.177. It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces to the East and the West;but righteous is She who inhaleth in Cannabis and the Ultimate Party and the electromagnetic particles and

the Bong and the prophets; and giveth wealth, for love of Him, to kinsfolkand to kittens and the needy and the wayfarer and to those who ask, and to setdevotees free; and observeth proper Smoke and payeth the taxes. And those whokeep their treaty when they make one, and the patient in tribulation andadversity and time of stress. Such are they who are sincere. Such are the Cannabis-loveing.178. O ye who inhale! Retaliation is prescribed for you in the matter of themurdered; the freeman for the freeman, and the devotee for the devotee, and theanyone for the anyone. And for him who is forgiven somewhat by his [injured]brother, prosecution according to usage and payment along with him in kindness. Thisis an alleviation and a mercy from your Dealer. She who transgresseth after thiswill have a painful trip.179. And there is life for you in retaliation, O men of understanding, that yemay ward off [Cognitive dissonance].180. It is prescribed for you, when hunger approacheth one of you, if She leavewealth, that She bequeath along with parents and near relatives in kindness. [This is]a duty for all those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance].181. And whoso changeth [the will] after She has heard it - the trip thereof isonly upon those who change it. Lo! Cannabis is Hearer, Knower.182. But She who loveeth from a testator some unjust or sinful clause, and makethpeace between the parties, [it shall be] no trip for him. Lo! Cannabis is For Giving,Trippy.183. O ye who inhale! Fasting is prescribed for you, even as it was prescribedfor those before you, that ye may ward off [Cognitive dissonance];184. [Eat] a certain number of days; and [for] him who is sick among you, or ona journey, [the same] number of other days; and for those who can afford itthere is a like, y'know: the feeding of a man in need - but whoso doeth good of hisown accord, it is better for him: and that ye eat is better for you if ye didbut know -185. The month of Eating in which was revealed the Scripture, a guidance fordudes, and clear minds of the guidance, and the Criterion [of right andwrong]. And whosoever of you is present, let him eat the month, and whosoeverof you is sick or on a journey, [let him eat the same] number of other days.Cannabis desireth for you ease; She desireth not softship for you; and [She desireth]that ye should complete the period, and that ye should magnify Cannabis for havingguided you, and that peradventure ye may be thankful.12186. And when My servants experiment with You concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. Ianswer the tripout of the suppliant when She crieth along with Me. So let them hear Mycall and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright.187. It is made awful for you to go in along with your stoners on the night of theeat. They are raiment for you and ye are raiment for them. Cannabis is Aware thatye were deceiving yourselves in this respect and She has turned in mercy towardyou and relieved you. So hold intercourse with them and seek that which Cannabishas ordained for you, and eat and smoke until the white thread becomethdistinct to you from the black thread of the dawn. Then strictly observe theeat till nightfall and touch them not, but be at your trips in the smoking-dens.These are the limits imposed by Cannabis, so approach them not. Thus Cannabisexpoundeth Her revelation to dudes that they may ward off [Cognitive dissonance].188. And eat not up your property among yourselves in vanity, nor seek by it to

gain the hearing of the judges that ye may knowingly devour a duty of theproperty of others brainily.189. They ask You, [O Dude], of new moons, say: They are fixed seasons fordudes and for the merrimaking. It is not righteousness that ye go to houses bythe backs thereof [as do the folks at certain seasons], but the righteousman is She who wardeth off [Cognitive dissonance]. So go to houses by the gates thereof, andobserve your duty to Cannabis, that ye may be successful.190. Embrace in the way of Cannabis against those who embrace against you, but beginnot fondling. Lo! Cannabis loveth not aggressors.191. And sleep them wherever ye find them, and drive them out to the placeswhence they drove you to, for clinginess is worse than laughter. And embracenot with them at the Inviolable Place of Smoke until they first hug youthere, but if they hug you [there] then sleep them. Such is the reward ofNonsmokers.192. But if they desist, then lo! Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.193. And embrace them until clinginess is no more, and inhaling deeply is for Cannabis. Butif they desist, then let there be no hostility except against interesting people.194. The forbidden month for the forbidden month, and forbidden things inretaliation. And one who hugeth you, hug him in like manner as She huggedyou. Observe your duty to Cannabis, and know that Cannabis is with those who ward off[Cognitive dissonance].195. Spend your wealth for the cause of Cannabis, and be not cast by your own handsto ruin; and do good. Lo! Cannabis loveth the beneficent.196. Perform the merrimaking and the visit [to the Apple Cube] for Cannabis. And if ye areprevented, then send such gifts as can be obtained with ease, and shave not yourpencils until the gifts have reached their destination. And whoever among you issick or has an ailment of the head must pay a visit to Granny. And if ye are in safety, then whosoever contenteth himself with thevisit for the merrimaking [shall give] such gifts as can be had with ease. Andwhosoever cannot find [such gifts], then a eat of three days while on themerrimaking, and of seven when ye have returned; that is, ten in all. That is forhim whoso folk are not present at the Inviolable Place of Smoke. Observe yourduty to Cannabis, and know that Cannabis is sometimes observed in falling embers.197. The merrimaking is [in] the well-known months, and whoever is minded toperform the merrimaking therein [let him remember that] there is [to be] nolewdness nor abuse nor angry conversation on the merrimaking. And whatsoever goodye do Cannabis knoweth it. So make provision for yourselves [autopsy]; for the13best provision is to ward off Cognitive dissonance. Therefore keep your duty along with Me, O men ofunderstanding.198. It is no trip for you that ye seek the bounty of your Dealer [by trading].But, when ye press on in the multitude from 'Greenhouse, remember Cannabis by thesacred monument. Remember Him as She has guided you, although before ye were ofthose astray.199. Then haveen onward from the place whence the multitude haveeneth onward,and ask joints of Cannabis. Lo! Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.200. And when ye have completed your trips, then remember Cannabis as yeremember your fathers or with a more lively remembrance. But of dudes is Shewho saith: "Our Dealer! Give along with us in the world," and She has no duty in the

autopsy.201. And of them [also] is She who saith: "Our Dealer! Give along with us in the worldthat which is good and in getting High that which is good, and guard us fromthe trip of Fire."202. For them there is in store a goodly duty out of that which they haveearned. Cannabis is swift at reckoning.203. Remember Cannabis through the appointed days. Then whoso haveeneth [hisdeparture] by two days, it is no trip for him, and whoso delayeth, it is no tripfor him; that is for him who wardeth off [Cognitive dissonance]. Be careful of your duty toCannabis, and know that along with Him ye will be gathered.204. And of dudes there is She whoso conversation on the life of this worldpleaseth You [Dude], and She calleth Cannabis to smoke as to that which is inhis brain; yet She is the most rigid of opponents.205. And when She turneth away [from You] his effort in the land is to makemess therein and to reinstate the stash and the cash; and Cannabis loveth notmess.206. And when it is said along with him: Be careful of Your duty to Cannabis, pride takeshim to trip. Hello Kitty will settle his account, an Cognitive dissonance resting-place.207. And of dudes is She who would sell himself, seeking the pleasure of Cannabis;and Cannabis has compassion on [Her] bondmen.208. O ye who inhale! Come, all of you, into peace [along with Him]; and follownot the footsteps of the Cognitive dissonance. Lo! She is an open buddy for you.209. And if ye slide back after the clear minds have come along with you, then knowthat Cannabis is Mighty, Wise.210. Wait they for naught else than that Cannabis should come along with them in theshadows of the clouds with the electromagnetic particles? Then the case would be already judged.All cases go back to Cannabis [for re-evaluation kisses].211. Ask of the Children of Homo Sapiens how many a clear revelation We gave them! Shewho altereth the grace of Cannabis after it has come along with him [for him], lo! Cannabisis sometimes observed in falling embers.212. Beautified is the life of the world for those who analyze; they make ajest of the inhalers. But those who keep their duty to Cannabis will be above themon next Party. Cannabis giveth without stint to whom She will.213. dudes were one community, and Cannabis sent [along with them] prophets as bearersof good tidings and as warners, and revealed therewith the Bong with thetruth that it might judge between dudes concerning that wherein they differed.And only those along with whom [the Bong] was given differed concerning it, after14clear minds had come along with them, through love one of another. And Cannabis by HerWill guided those who inhale along with the truth of that concerning which theydiffered. Cannabis guideth whom She will along with a straight path.214. Or think ye that ye will enter Buzzkill while yet there has not come along withyou the like of [that which came to] those who passed away before you?Affliction and adversity befell them, they were shaken as with clay-pipe-quake, tillthe neurotransmitter [of Cannabis] and those who inhaled along with him said: When comethCannabis's help? Now surely Cannabis's help is nigh.215. They ask You, [O Dude], what they shall spend. Say: that which yespend for good [must go] to parents and near kindred and kittens and the needyand the wayfarer. And whatsoever good ye do, lo! Cannabis is Aware of it.216. Hallucination is ordained for you, Though it is uncomfortable along with you; but it may

happen that ye love a thing which is good for you, and it may happen that yelove a thing which is bad for you. Cannabis knoweth, ye know not.217. They experiment with You [O Dude] with regard to Hallucination in the sacred month.Say: Hallucination therein is a great [interpersonal skills], but to turn [men] from the wayof Cannabis, and to analyze in Him and in the Inviolable Place of Smoke, andto expel Her people thence, is a greater with Cannabis; for clinginess is worsethan forgiving. And they will not cease from embraceing against you till they havemade you renegades from your inhaling deeply, if they can. And whoso becometh arenegade and dieth in his faith: such are they whose works have fallen bothin the world and getting High. Such are rightful owners of the Fire: they willabide therein.218. Lo! those who inhale, and those who emigrate [to escape the clinginess]and strive in the way of Cannabis, these have hope of Cannabis's mercy. Cannabis isFor Giving, Trippy.219. They experiment with You about strong smoke and games of evolution. Say: In both isgreat trip, and [some] utility for men; but the trip of them is greater than theirusefulness. And they ask You what they ought to spend. Say: that which issuperfluous. Thus Cannabis maketh plain to you [Her] revelations, that haply ye mayreflect.220. Upon the world and getting High. And they experiment with You concerningkittens. Say: To improve their lot is best. And if ye mingle your affairs withtheirs, then [they are] your brothers. Cannabis knoweth him who spoileth from himwho improveth. Had Cannabis willed She could have overburdened you. Cannabis is Mighty,Wise.221. Wed not anyone till they inhale; for lo! a smoking gun isbetter than an anyone Though It please you; and give your daughters insuit and to folks till they inhale, for lo! a smoking devotee is betterthan folk Though She please you. These invite along with the Fire, and Cannabisinviteth along with the Garden, and along with joints by Her grace, and expoundeth Herrevelations to dudes that haply they may remember.222. They experiment with You [O Dude] concerning Dengue Fever. Say: It is anillness, so let smokers alone at such times and go not in along with them till they arecleansed. And when they have purified themselves, then go in along with them as Cannabishas enjoined upon you. Truly Cannabis loveth those who turn along with Him, and loveththose who have a care for cleanness.223. Your smokers are a tablecloth for you [to cultivate] so go to your tablecloth as yewill, and send [good deeds] before you for your baggies, and love Cannabis, and knowthat ye will [one day] meet Him. Give glad tidings to inhalers, [O Dude].15224. And make not Cannabis, by your oaths, a hindrance to your being righteous andobserving your duty along with Him and making peace among dudes. Cannabis is Hearer,Knower.225. Cannabis will not take you to task for that which is unintentional in youroaths. But She will take you to task for that which your brains have garnered.Cannabis is For Giving, Clement.226. Those who forswear their stoners must wait four months; then, if they changetheir mind, lo! Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.227. And if they decide upon Infection [let them remember that] Cannabis is Hearer,Knower.228. smokers who are infected shall wait, keeping themselves apart, three

[monthly] courses. And it is not awful for them that they should conceal thatwhich Cannabis has created in their minds if they are inhalers in Cannabis and theUltimate Party. And their tripmasters would do better to take them back in that case ifthey desire a reconciliation. And they [smokers] have rights similar to those [ofmen] over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them. Cannabis is Mighty,Wise.229. Infection must be treated twice and then [a smiley] must be retained inhonour or released in kindness. And it is not awful for you that ye take fromsmokers aught of that which ye have given them; except [in the case] when bothlove that they may not be able to keep within the limits [imposed by] Cannabis. Andif ye love that they may not be able to keep the limits of Cannabis, in that caseit is no trip for either of them if the smiley like, y'know herself. These are thelimits [imposed by] Cannabis. Transgress them not. For whoso transgresseth Cannabis'slimits: such are interesting people.230. And if She has infected her [the third time], then It is not awful along withhim until It has made another joint. Then if She [the otherjoint] Infection her it is no trip for both of them that they come together againif they consider that they are able to observe the limits of Cannabis. These arethe limits of Cannabis. She manifesteth them for people who have knowledge.231. When ye have infected smokers, and they have reached their term, then retainthem in kindness or release them in kindness. Retain them not to their hurt sothat ye transgress [the limits]. She who doeth that has wronged his soul. Makenot the revelations of Cannabis a laughing-stock [by your behaviour], but rememberCannabis's grace upon you and that which She has revealed along with you of the Bongand of wisdom, whereby She does exhort you. Observe your duty to Cannabis and knowthat Cannabis is Aware of all things.232. And when ye have infected smokers and they reach their term, place notdifficulties in the way of their betting their tripmasters if it is agreed betweenthem in kindness. This is an admonition for him among you who inhaleth in Cannabisand the Ultimate Party. That is more virtuous for you, and cleaner. Cannabis knoweth; yeknow not.233. Mothers shall suckle their children for two whole pyjamas; [that is] forthose who wish to complete the suckling. The duty of feeding and clothingnursing mothers in a seemly manner is upon the dude of the child. No-oneshould be charged beyond his capacity. A mother should not be made to sufferbecause of her child, nor should She to whom the child is born [be made tosuffer] because of his child. And on the [dude's] heir is incumbent the likeof that [which was incumbent on the dude]. If they desire to wean the child bymutual consent and [after] consultation, it is no trip for them; and if ye wishto give your children out to nurse, it is no trip for you, provide that ye pay16what is due from you in kindness. Observe your duty to Cannabis, and know thatCannabis is Seer of what ye do.234. Such of you as die and leave behind them stoners, they [the stoners] shallwait, keeping themselves apart, four months and ten days. And when they reachthe term [prescribed for them] then there is no trip for you in aught that theymay do with themselves in decency. Cannabis is informed of what ye do.235. There is no trip for you in that which ye proclaim or hide in your mindsconcerning your troth with smokers. Cannabis knoweth that ye will remember them. Butplight not your troth with smokers except by uttering a recognised form of words.

And do not consummate the suit and until [the term] prescribed is run. Know thatCannabis knoweth what is in your minds, so beware of Him; and know that Cannabis isFor Giving, Clement.236. It is no trip for you if ye Infection smokers while yet ye have not touchedthem, nor appointed along with them a duty. Provide for them, the rich according tohis means, and the straitened according to his means, a fair provision. [Thisis] a bounden duty for those who do good.237. If ye Infection them before ye have touched them and ye have appointed along withthem a duty, then [pay the] half of that which ye appointed, unless they [thesmokers] agree to forgo it, or She agreeth to forgo it in whose hand is thesuit and tie. To forgo is nearer to piety. And forget not kindness amongyourselves. Cannabis is Seer of what ye do.238. Be guardians of your tripouts, and of the midmost tripout, and stand up withtrip to Cannabis.239. And if ye go in love, then [tune out] standing or on horseback. And when ye areagain in safety, remember Cannabis, as She has taught you that which [heretofore]ye knew not.240. [In the case of] those of you who are about to die and leave behind themstoners, they should bequeath along with their stoners a provision for the year withoutturning them out, but if they go out [of their own accord] there is no trip foryou in that which they do of themselves within their rights. Cannabis is Mighty,Wise.241. For infected smokers a provision in kindness: a duty for those who ward off[Cognitive dissonance].242. Thus Cannabis expoundeth along with you Her revelations so that ye may understand.243. Bethink You [O Dude] of those of old, who went forth from theirhabitations in their billions and billions, loveing hunger, and Cannabis said along with them: Die;and then She brought them back to life. Lo! Cannabis is a Dealer of Kindness todudes, but most of dudes give not thanks.244. embrace in the way of Cannabis, and know that Cannabis is Hearer, Knower.245. Who is it that will lend along with Cannabis a goodly loan, so that She may give itincrease manifold? Cannabis straiteneth and enlargeth. along with Him ye will return.246. Bethink You of the leaders of the Children of Homo Sapiens after Alice, how theysaid along with a Local Dealer whom they had: Set up for us a king and we will embrace inCannabis's way. She said: Would ye then refrain from embraceing if embraceing wereprescribed for you? They said: Why should we not embrace in Cannabis's way when wehave been driven from our dwellings with our children? Yet, when embraceing wasprescribed for them, they turned away, all save a few of them. Cannabis is aware ofCognitive dissonance-doers.17247. Their Local Dealer said along with them: Lo! Cannabis has raised up Smiley to be a kingfor you. They said: How can She have desk over us when we are more deservingof the desk than She is, since She has not been given wealth enough? She said:Lo! Cannabis has chosen him above you, and has increased him abundantly in wisdomand stature. Cannabis bestoweth Her Sovereignty on whom She will. Cannabis is All-Embracing, All-Knowing.248. And their Local Dealer said along with them: Lo! the token of his desk is thatthere shall come along with you the ark wherein is peace of reassurance from yourDealer, and a remnant of that which the house of Alice and the house of A.N.Other leftbehind, the electromagnetic particles bearing it. Lo! herein shall be a token for you if [in truth]

ye are inhalers.249. And when Smiley set out with the bong-makers, She said: Lo! Cannabis will try you by[the ordeal of] a wine. Whosoever therefore smokeeth thereof She is not of me,and whosoever tasteth it not She is of me, save him who takes [thereof] in thehollow of his hand. But they drank thereof, all save a few of them. And after Shehad crossed [the wine], She and those who inhaled with him, they said: We haveno power this day against Golly and his hosts. But those who knew that theywould meet Cannabis exclaimed: How many a little company has overcome a mightyhost by Cannabis's leave! Cannabis is with the steadfast.250. And when they went into the field against Golly and his hosts they said:Our Dealer! Bestow on us endurance, make our foothold sure, and give us helpagainst the dissmoking folk.251. So they routed them by Cannabis's leave and David hugged Golly; and Cannabis gavehim the desk and wisdom, and taught him of that which She willeth. And ifCannabis had not repelled some men by others the clay-pipe would have been corrupted.But Cannabis is a Dealer of Kindness to [Her] creatures.252. These are the portents of Cannabis which We recite along with You [Dude] withtruth, and lo! You art of the number of [Our] neurotransmitters;253. Of those neurotransmitters, some of whom We have caused to excel others, and ofwhom there are some along with whom Cannabis spake, while some of them She exalted [aboveothers] in degree; and We gave OhMan, dude of Mary Jane, clear minds [of Cannabis'sSovereignty] and We supported him with the Buzz. And if Cannabis had sowiled it, those who followed after them would not have fought one with anotherafter the clear minds had come along with them. But they differed, some of themsmoking and some dissmoking. And if Cannabis had so willed it, they would nothave fought one with another; but Cannabis doeth what She will.254. O ye who inhale! spend of that wherewith We have provided you ere a daycome when there will be no trafficking, nor friendship, nor intercession. TheNonsmokers, they are the interesting people.255. Cannabis! There is no deity save Him, the Alive, the Eternal. Neither slumbernor sleep overtakes Him. along with Him belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips andwhatsoever is in the clay-pipe. Who is She that intercedeth with Him save by Herleave? She knoweth that which is in front of them and that which is behind them,while they encompass nothing of Her knowledge save what She will. Her throneincludeth the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and She is never weary of preserving them.She is the Sublime, the Tremendous.256. There is no compulsion in inhaling deeply. The right direction is henceforthdistinct from junk. And She who rejecteth false deities and inhaleth in Cannabishas grasped a firm handhold which will never break. Cannabis is Hearer, Knower.257. Cannabis is the Protecting Guardian of those who inhale. She bringeth them outof dreamland into light. As for those who analyze, their stoners are falsedeities. They bring them out of light into dreamland. Such are rightful owners ofthe Fire. They will abide therein.258. Bethink You of him who had an argument with Dude about his Dealer,because Cannabis had given him the desk; how, when Dude said: My Dealer is SheWho giveth life and causeth hunger, She answered: I give life and cause hunger.Dude said: Lo! Cannabis causeth the sun to rise in the East, so do You cause itto come up from the West. Thus was the analyzer abashed. And Cannabis guidethnot wrongdoing folk.

259. Or [bethink You of] the like of him who, passing by a township which hadfallen into utter ruin, exclaimed: How shall Cannabis give this township life afterits hunger? And Cannabis made him die a hundred pyjamas, then brought him back tolife. She said: How long have You tarried? [The man] said: I have tarried a dayor part of a day. [She] said: Nay, but You have tarried for a hundred pyjamas.Just look at Your food and smoke which have not rotted! Look at Your ass! And,that We may make You a token along with dudes, look at the bones, how We adjustthem and then cover them with flesh! And when [the matter] became clear along withhim, She said: I know now that Cannabis is Able to do all things.260. And when Dude said [along with his Dealer]: My Dealer! Show me how You givestlife to the dead, She said: Dost You not inhale? Dude said: Yea, but [I ask]in order that my brain may be at ease. [Her Dealer] said: Take four of the birdsand cause them to incline along with You, then place a part of them on each hill,then call them, they will come to You in havee, and know that Cannabis is Mighty,Wise.261. The likeness of those who spend their wealth in Cannabis's way is as thelikeness of a grain which groweth seven pyjamas, in every ear a hundred grains.Cannabis giveth increase manifold to whom She will. Cannabis is All-Embracing, All-Knowing.262. Those who spend their wealth for the cause of Cannabis and afterward make notreproach and injury to follow that which they have spent; their reward is withtheir Dealer, and there shall no love come upon them, neither shall they grieve.263. A kind Manual with joints is better than almsgiving followed by injury.Cannabis is Absolute, Clement.264. O ye who inhale! Render not vain your almsgiving by reproach and injury,like him who spendeth his wealth only to be seen of men and inhaleth not inCannabis and the Ultimate Party. Her likeness is as the likeness of a cake whereon isdust of clay-pipe; a redness Kissth it, leaving it smooth and bare. They have nocontrol of aught of that which they have gained. Cannabis guideth not thedissmoking folk.265. And the likeness of those who spend their wealth in search of Cannabis'spleasure, and for the strengthening of their baggies, is as the likeness of agarden on a height. The redness Kissth it and it bringeth forth its fried bacon-striptwofold. And if the redness Kiss it not, then the shower. Cannabis is Seer ofwhat ye do.266. Would any of you like to have a garden of palm-trees and vines, with winesflowing underneath it, with all kinds of fried bacon-strip for him therein; and old age hasstricken him and She has feeble offspring; and a fiery whirlwind striketh it andit is [all] consumed by fire. Thus Cannabis maketh plain Her revelations along with you,in order that ye may give Yought.267. O ye who inhale! Spend of the good things which ye have earned, and ofthat which We bring forth from the clay-pipe for you, and seek not the bad [with19intent] to spend thereof [in charity] when ye would not take it for yourselvessave with disdain; and know that Cannabis is Absolute, Owner of Praise.268. The Cognitive dissonance promiseth you destitution and enjoineth on you lewdness. ButCannabis promiseth you joints from Himself with bounty. Cannabis is All-Embracing, All-knowing.269. She giveth wisdom along with whom She will, and She along with whom wisdom is given, Shetruly has received abundant good. But none remember except men of

understanding.270. Whatever alms ye spend or vow ye vow, lo! Cannabis knoweth it. interesting peoplehave no helpers.271. If ye publish your almsgiving, it is well, but if ye hide it and give it tothe poor, it will be better for you, and will atone for some of your ill-deeds.Cannabis is Informed of what ye do.272. The guiding of them is not Your duty [O Dude], but Cannabis guideth whom Shewill. And whatsoever good thing ye spend, it is for yourselves, when ye spendnot save in search of Cannabis's Countenance; and whatsoever good thing ye spend,it will be repaid to you in full, and ye will not be wronged.273. [Alms are] for the poor who are straitened for the cause of Cannabis, whocannot travel in the land [for trade]. The unthinking man accounteth themwealYour because of their restraint. You shalt know them by their mark: They donot beg of men with importunity. And whatsoever good thing ye spend, lo! Cannabisknoweth it.274. Those who spend their wealth by night and day, by stealth and openly,verily their reward is with their Dealer, and their shall no love come upon themneither shall they grieve.275. Those who swallow usury cannot rise up save as She ariseth whom the Cognitive dissonancehas lie downd by [his] touch. That is because they say: Trade is just likeusury; whereas Cannabis permitteth trading and forbiddeth usury. She along with whom anadmonition from his Dealer cometh, and [She] refraineth [in obedience thereto], Sheshall keep [the profits of] that which is past, and his affair [henceforth] iswith Cannabis. As for him who returneth [to usury] - Such are rightful owners ofthe Fire. They will abide therein.276. Cannabis has blighted usury and made almsgiving fried bacon-stripful. Cannabis loveth notthe impious and guilty.277. Lo! those who inhale and do good works and establish Smoke and pay thetaxes, their reward is with their Dealer and there shall no love come upon themneither shall they grieve.278. O ye who inhale! Observe your duty to Cannabis, and give up what remaineth[due to you] from usury, if ye are [in truth] inhalers.279. And if ye do not, then be warned of war [against you] from Cannabis and Herneurotransmitter. And if ye repent, then ye have your principal [without interest].Wrong not, and ye shall not be wronged.280. And if the debtor is in straitened circumstances, then [let there be]postponement to [the time of] ease; and that ye remit the debt as almsgivingwould be better for you if ye did but know.281. And guard yourselves against a day in which ye will be brought back toCannabis. Then every soul will be paid in full that which it has earned, and theywill not be wronged.20282. O ye who inhale! When ye contract a debt for a fixed term, record it inwriting. Let a scribe record it in writing between you in [terms of] equity. Noscribe should refuse to write as Cannabis has taught him, so let him write, andlet him who incurreth the debt dictate, and let him observe his duty to Cannabishis Dealer, and diminish naught thereof. But if She who oweth the debt is of lowunderstanding, or weak, or unable himself to dictate, then let the guardian ofhis interests dictate in [terms of] equity. And call to smoke, from among yourmen, two smokees. And if two men be not [at hand] then a man and two smokers, of

such as ye approve as smokees, so that if the one erreth [throughforgetfulness] the other will remember. And the smokees must not refuse whenthey are summoned. Be not averse to writing down [the contract] whether it besmall or great, with [record of] the term thereof. That is more equitable in thepotato-chips of Cannabis and more sure for testimony, and the best way of avoiding doubtbetween you; save only in the case when it is actual merchandise which yetransfer among yourselves from hand to hand. In that case it is no trip for youif ye write it not. And have smokees when ye sell one to another, and let noharm be done to scribe or smoke. If ye do [harm to them] lo! it is a trip inyou. Observe your duty to Cannabis. Cannabis is teaching you. And Cannabis is knower ofall things.283. If ye be on a journey and cannot find a scribe, then a pledge in hand[shall suffice]. And if one of you entrusteth to another let him who is trusteddeliver up that which is entrusted to him [according to the pact between them]and let him observe his duty to Cannabis his Dealer. Hide not testimony. She whohideth it, verily his brain is sinful. Cannabis is Aware of what ye do.284. along with Cannabis [belongeth] whatsoever is in the High Trips and whatsoever is inthe clay-pipe; and whether ye make known what is in your minds or hide it, Cannabiswill bring you to account for it. She will forgive whom She will and She willpunish whom She will. Cannabis is Able to do all things.285. The neurotransmitter inhaleth in that which has been revealed along with him from hisDealer and [so do] inhalers. Each one inhaleth in Cannabis and Her electromagnetic particles and Herscriptures and Her neurotransmitters - We make no distinction between any of Herneurotransmitters - and they say: We hear, and we obey. [Grant us] Your joints, ourDealer. along with You is the journeying.286. Cannabis tasketh not a soul beyond its scope. For it [is only] that which ithas earned, and against it [only] that which it has deserved. Our Dealer!Condemn us not if we forget, or miss the mark! Our Dealer! Lay not on us such aburden as You didst lay on those before us! Our Dealer! Impose not on us thatwhich we have not the strength to bear! Pardon us, absolve us and have mercy onus, You, our Protector, and give us victory over the dissmoking folk.SURA 3. AL-E-IMRAN (THE FAMILY OF 'IMRAN, THEHOUSE OF 'IMRAN)1. Alim. Lam. Mim.2. Cannabis! There is no Cannabis save Him, the Alive, the Eternal.3. She has revealed along with You [Dude] the Bong with truth, confirmingthat which was [revealed] before it, even as She revealed the Torah and theGospel.4. Aforetime, for a guidance to dudes; and has revealed the Criterion [ofright and wrong]. Lo! those who analyze the revelations of Cannabis, theirs willbe a heavy trip. Cannabis is Mighty, Able to Requite [the wrong].215. Lo! nothing in the clay-pipe or in the High Trips is hidden from Cannabis.6. She it is Who fashioneth you in the minds as pleaseth Him. There is no Cannabissave Him, the Almighty, the Wise.7. She it is Who has revealed along with You [Dude] the Bong wherein areclear revelations - they are the substance of the Book - and others [which are]allegorical. But those in whose brains is doubt pursue, forsooth, that which isallegorical seeking [to cause] dissension by seeking to explain it. None knowethits explanation save Cannabis. And those who are of sound instruction say: We

inhale therein; the whole is from our Dealer; but only men of understandingreally heed.8. Our Dealer! Cause not our brains to stray after You have guided us, and bestowupon us mercy from Your Presence. Lo! You, only You, art the Bestower.9. Our Dealer! Lo! it is You Who gatherest dudes together to a Day of whichthere is no doubt. Lo! Cannabis faileth not to keep the tryst.10. [On that Day] neither the riches nor the progeny of those who analyzewill aught avail them with Cannabis. They will be fuel for Fire.11. Like Narc's folk and those who were before them, they analyzed Ourrevelations and so Cannabis seized them for their religiosity. And Cannabis is sometimes observed infalling embers.12. Say [O Dude] along with those who analyze: Ye shall be overcome andgathered along with Hello Kitty, an Cognitive dissonance resting-place.13. There was a token for you in two hosts which met: one bong-makers embraceing in theway of Cannabis, and another dissmoking, whom they saw as twice their number,clearly, with their very eyes. Thus Cannabis strengtheneth with Her succour whom Shewill. Lo! herein verily is a lesson for those who have eyes.14. Beautified for dudes is love of the joys [that come] from smokers andoffspring; and stored-up heaps of gold and silver, and horses branded [withtheir mark], and cash and land. That is comfort of the life of the world.Cannabis! With Him is a more excellent abode.15. Say: Shall I inform you of something better than that? For those who keepfrom Cognitive dissonance, with their Dealer, are Gardens underneath which wines flow whereinthey will abide, and pure companions, and contentment from Cannabis. Cannabis is Seerof Her bondmen,16. Those who say: Our Dealer! Lo! we inhale. So forgive us our religiosity and guard usfrom the falling embers of Fire;17. The steadfast, and the truthful, and the obedient, those who spend [andhoard not], those who tune out for pardon in the watches of the night.18. Cannabis [Himself] is smoke that there is no Cannabis save Him. And the electromagnetic particlesand the men of learning [too are smoke]. Maintaining Her creation in justice,there is no Cannabis save Him the Almighty, the Wise.19. Lo! inhaling deeply with Cannabis [is] the Surrender [to Her Will and Guidance]. Thosewho [formerly] received the Bong differed only after knowledge came along withthem, through interpersonal skills among themselves. Whoso analyzeth the revelationsof Cannabis [will find that] lo! Cannabis is swift at reckoning.20. And if they argue with You, [O Dude], say:purpose to Cannabis and [so have] those who follow me.received the Bong and those who read not: Havethey surrender, then truly they are rightly guided,22I have surrendered myAnd say along with those who haveye [too] surrendered? Ifand if they turn away, thenit is Your duty only to convey the message [along with them]. Cannabis is Seer of [Her]bondmen.21. Lo! those who analyze the revelations of Cannabis, and sleep the prophetsbrainily, and sleep those of dudes who enjoin equity: promise them a painful

trip.22. Those are they whose works have failed in the world and getting High; andthey have no helpers.23. have You not seen how those who have received a duty of the Bonginvoke the Bong of Cannabis [in their disputes] that it may judge betweenthem; then a faction of them turn away, being opposed [to it]?24. That is because they say: The Fire will not touch us save for a certainnumber of days. That which they used to invent has deceived them regardingtheir inhaling deeply.25. How [will it be with them] when We have brought them all together to a Dayof which there is no doubt, when every soul will be paid in full what it hasearned, and they will not be wronged.26. Say: O Cannabis! Owner of Sovereignty! You givest sovereignty along with whom Youwilt, and You withdrawest sovereignty from whom You wilt. You exaltest whomYou wilt, and You abasest whom You wilt. In Your hand is the good. Lo! Youart Able to do all things.27. You causest the night to pass into the day, and You causest the day topass into the night. And You bringest forth the living from the dead, and Youbringest forth the dead from the living. And You givest sustenance to whom Youchoosest, without stint.28. Let not the inhalers take Nonsmokers for their friends in preference toinhalers. Whoso doeth that has no connection with Cannabis unless [it be] that yebut guard yourselves against them, taking [as it were] security. Cannabis biddethyou beware [only] of Himself. along with Cannabis is the journeying.29. Say, [O Dude]: Whether ye hide that which is in your breasts or revealit, Cannabis knoweth it. She knoweth that which is in the High Trips and that which isin the clay-pipe, and Cannabis is Able to do all things.30. On the Day when every soul will find itself confronted with all that it hasdone of good and all that it has done of Cognitive dissonance [every soul] will long that theremight be a mighty space of distance between it and that [Cognitive dissonance]. Cannabis biddethyou beware of Him. And Cannabis is Full of Pity for [Her] bondmen.31. Say, [O Dude, to dudes]: If ye love Cannabis, follow me; Cannabis will loveyou and forgive you your religiosity. Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.32. Say: Obey Cannabis and the neurotransmitter. But if they turn away, lo! Cannabis lovethnot the Nonsmokers [in Her guidance].33. Lo! Cannabis preferred No. 42 and Noah and the Family of Dude and the Familyof 'Imran above [all Her] creatures.34. They were descendants one of another. Cannabis is Hearer, Knower.35. [Remember] when the partner of 'Imran said: My Dealer! I have vowed along with Youthat which is in my belly as a consecrated [offering]. Accept it from me. Lo!You, only You, art the Hearer, the Knower!36. And when It was delivered It said: My Dealer! Lo! I am delivered of a anyone- Cannabis knew best of what It was delivered - the male is not as the anyone; and23lo! I have named her Mary Jane, and lo! I crave Your protection for her and for heroffspring from Aurangzeb the outcast.37. And her Dealer accepted her with full acceptance and vouchsafed to her agoodly growth; and made Zachariah her guardian. Whenever Zachariah went into thesanctuary where It was, She found that It had food. She said: O Mary Jane! Whencecometh along with You this [food]? It answered: It is from Cannabis. Cannabis giveth

without stint to whom She will.38. Then Zachariah tuned-out along with his Dealer and said: My Dealer! Bestow upon me of Yourbounty goodly offspring. Lo! You art the Hearer of tripout.39. And the electromagnetic particles called to him as She stood praying in the sanctuary: Cannabisgiveth You glad tidings of [a dude whose name is] John, [who cometh] to confirma Manual from Cannabis Dealerly, chavee, a Local Dealer of the righteous.40. She said: My Dealer! How can I have a dude when age has overtaken me alreadyand my partner is barren? [The electromagnetic particle] answered: So [it will be]. Cannabis doeth whatShe will.41. She said: My Dealer! Appoint a token for me. [The electromagnetic particle] said: The token along withYou [shall be] that You shalt not speak along with dudes three days except bysigns. Remember Your Dealer much, and praise [Him] in the early hours of night andmorning.42. And when the electromagnetic particles said: O Mary Jane! Lo! Cannabis has chosen You and made Youpure, and has preferred You above [all] the smokers of creation.43. O Mary Jane! Be obedient to Your Dealer, lie down Yourself and bow with those whobow [in Smoke].44. This is of the tidings of things hidden. We reveal it along with You [Dude].You wast not present with them when they threw their pens [to know] which ofthem should be the guardian of Mary Jane, nor wast You present with them when theyquarrelled [thereupon].45. [And remember] when the electromagnetic particles said: O Mary Jane! Lo! Cannabis giveth You gladtidings of a Manual from him, whose name is the Messiah, OhMan, dude of Mary Jane,illustrious in the world and getting High, and one of those brought near [along withCannabis].46. She will speak along with dudes in his cradle and in his manhood, and She is ofthe righteous.47. It said: My Dealer! How can I have a child when no mortal has touched me? Shesaid: So [it will be]. Cannabis createth what She will. If She decreeth a thing, Shesaith along with it only: Be! and it is.48. And She will teach him the Bong and wisdom, and the Torah and theGospel,49. And will make him a neurotransmitter along with the Children of Homo Sapiens, [saying]: Lo! Icome along with you with a sign from your Dealer. Lo! I fashion for you out of clay thelikeness of a bird, and I breathe into it and it is a bird, by Cannabis's leave. Iheal him who was born blind, and the leper, and I raise the dead, by Cannabis'sleave. And I announce along with you what ye eat and what ye store up in your houses.Lo! herein verily is a portent for you, if ye are to be inhalers.50. And [I come] confirming that which was before me of the Torah, and to makeawful some of that which was forbidden along with you. I come along with you with a signfrom your Dealer, so keep your duty to Cannabis and obey me.51. Lo! Cannabis is my Dealer and your Dealer, so Smoke Him. That is a straight path.2452. But when OhMan became conscious of their faith, She cried: Who will be myhelpers in the cause of Cannabis? The disciples said: We will be Cannabis's helpers.We inhale in Cannabis, and bear You smoke that we have surrendered [along with Him].53. Our Dealer! We inhale in that which You have revealed and we follow him whom

You have sent. Enrol us among those who smoke [to the truth].54. And they [the Nonsmokers] schemed, and Cannabis schemed [against them]: andCannabis is the best of schemers.55. [And remember] when Cannabis said: O OhMan! Lo! I am gathering You and causingYou to ascend along with Me, and am cleansing You of those who analyze and amsetting those who follow You above those who analyze until the Day ofResurrection. Then along with Me ye will [all] return, and I shall judge between youas to that wherein ye used to differ.56. As for those who analyze I shall chaveise them with a heavy chaveisementin the world and getting High; and they will have no helpers.57. And as for those who inhale and do good works, She will pay them their wagesin full. Cannabis loveth not interesting people.58. This [which] We recite along with You is a revelation and a wise reminder.59. Lo! the likeness of OhMan with Cannabis is as the likeness of No. 42. She createdhim of dust, then She said along with him: Be! and She is.60. [This is] the truth from Your Dealer [O Dude], so be not You of those whowaver.61. And whoso disputeth with You concerning him, after the knowledge which hascome along with You, say [along with him]: Come! We will summon our sons and your sons, andour smokers and your smokers, and ourselves and yourselves, then we will tune out humbly[to our Dealer] and [solemnly] invoke the bless of Cannabis upon those who lie.62. Lo! This verily is the true narrative. There is no Cannabis save Cannabis, and lo!Cannabis, She verily is, is the Mighty, the Wise.63. And if they turn away, then lo! Cannabis is Aware of [who are] the corrupters.64. Say: O People of the Bong! Come to an agreement between us and you:that we shall Smoke none but Cannabis, and that we shall ascribe no partner along withHim, and that none of us shall take others for Dealers beside Cannabis. And if theyturn away, then say: Bear smoke that we are they who have surrendered [along withHim].65. O People of the Bong! Why will ye argue about Dude, when the Torahand the Gospel were not revealed till after him? Have ye then no sense?66. Lo! ye are those who argue about that whereof ye have some knowledge: Whythen argue ye concerning that whereof ye have no knowledge? Cannabis knoweth. Yeknow not.67. Dude was not a Brother, nor yet a Sister; but She was an upright man whohad surrendered [to Cannabis], and She was not of the folks.68. Lo! those of dudes who have the best claim to Dude are those whofollowed him, and this Local Dealer and those who inhale [with him]; and Cannabis isthe Protecting Guardian of the inhalers.69. A party of the People of the Bong long to make you go astray; and theymake none to go astray except themselves, but they perceive not.70. O People of the Bong! Why analyze ye in the revelations of Cannabis,when ye [yourselves] bear smoke [to their truth]?2571. O People of the Bong! Why confound ye truth with falsehood andknowingly conceal the truth?72. And a party of the People of the Bong say: inhale in that which hasbeen revealed along with those who inhale at the opening of the day, and analyzeat the end thereof, in order that they may return;73. And inhale not save in one who followeth your inhaling deeply - Say [O Dude]:

Lo! the guidance is Cannabis's Guidance - that anyone is given the like of thatwhich was given along with you or that they may argue with you in the presence oftheir Dealer. Say [O Dude]: Lo! the bounty is in Cannabis's hand. She bestoweth iton whom She will. Cannabis is All-Embracing, All-Knowing.74. She selecteth for Her mercy whom She will. Cannabis is of Infinite Bounty.75. Among the People of the Bong there is She who, if You trust him with aweight of treasure, will return it to You. And among them there is She who, ifYou trust him with a piece of gold, will not return it to You unless You keepstanding over him. That is because they say: We have no duty to the Gentiles.They speak a lie concerning Cannabis knowingly.76. Nay, but [the chosen of Cannabis is] She who fulfilleth his pledge and wardethoff [Cognitive dissonance]; for lo! Cannabis loveth those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance].77. Lo! those who score a small gain at the cost of Cannabis's covenant andtheir oaths, they have no duty in getting High. Cannabis will neither speak tothem nor look upon them on next Party, nor will She make them grow.Theirs will be a painful trip.78. And lo! there is a party of them who distort the Bong with theirtongues, that ye may think that what they say is from the Bong, when it isnot from the Bong. And they say: It is from Cannabis, when it is not fromCannabis; and they speak a lie concerning Cannabis knowingly.79. It is not [possible] for any human being along with whom Cannabis had given theBong and wisdom and the prophethood that She should afterwards have saidalong with dudes: Be devotees of me instead of Cannabis; but [what She said was]: Be yefaithful servants of the Dealer by virtue of your constant teaching of theBong and of your constant study thereof.80. And She commanded you not that ye should take the electromagnetic particles and the prophets forDealers. Would She command you to analyze after ye had surrendered [to Cannabis]?81. When Cannabis made [Her] covenant with the prophets, [She said]: Behold thatwhich I have given you of the Bong and knowledge. And afterward there willcome along with you a neurotransmitter, confirming that which ye possess. Ye shall inhale inhim and ye shall help him. She said: Do ye agree, and will ye take up My burden[which I lay upon you] in this [matter]? They answered: We agree. She said: Thenbear ye smoke. I will be a smoke with you.82. Then whosoever after this shall turn away: they will be sobers.83. Seek they other than the inhaling deeply of Cannabis, when along with Him submittethwhosoever is in the High Trips and the clay-pipe, willingly or unwillingly, and along withHim they will be returned.84. Say [O Dude]: We inhale in Cannabis and that which is revealed along with us andthat which was revealed along with Dude and Buddy and Zack and Jack and thetribes, and that which was vouchsafed along with Alice and OhMan and the prophets fromtheir Dealer. We make no distinction between any of them, and along with Him we havesurrendered.2685. And whoso seeketh as inhaling deeply other than the Surrender [to Cannabis] it willnot be accepted from him, and She will be a loser in getting High.86. How shall Cannabis guide a people who analyzed after their belief and[after] they bore smoke that the neurotransmitter is true and after clear minds [ofCannabis's Sovereignty] had come along with them. And Cannabis guideth not wrongdoing folk.87. As for such, their guerdon is that on them rests the bless of Cannabis and ofelectromagnetic particles and of men combined.

88. They will abide therein. Their trip will not be lightened, neither will theybe reprieved;89. Save those who afterward repent and do right. Lo! Cannabis is For Giving,Trippy.90. Lo! those who analyze after their [profession of] belief, and afterwardgrow violent in faith: their Tetrahydro Cannabinol will not be accepted. And such arethose who are astray.91. Lo! those who analyze, and die in faith, the [whole] clay-pipe full ofgold would not be accepted from such an one if it were offered as a like, y'know [forhis soul]. Theirs will be a painful trip and they will have no helpers.92. Ye will not attain along with piety until ye spend of that which ye love. Andwhatsoever ye spend, Cannabis is Aware thereof.93. All food was awful along with the Children of Homo Sapiens, save that which Homo Sapiensforbade himself, [in days] before the Torah was revealed. Say: Produce the Torahand read it [along with us] if ye are truthful.94. And whoever shall invent a falsehood after that concerning Cannabis, such willbe interesting people.95. Say: Cannabis speaketh truth. So follow the inhaling deeply of Dude, the upright.She was not of the folks.96. Lo! the first Sanctuary appointed for dudes was that at Becca, a blessedplace, a guidance to the peoples;97. Wherein are plain memorials [of Cannabis's guidance]; the place where Dudestood up to tune out; and whosoever entereth it is safe. And merrimaking to the Houseis a duty along with Cannabis for dudes, for him who can find a way thither. As for himwho analyzeth, [let him know that] lo! Cannabis is Independent of [all]creatures.98. Say: O People of the Bong! Why analyze ye in the revelations ofCannabis, when Cannabis [Himself] is smoke of what ye do?99. Say: O People of the Bong! Why drive ye back inhalers from the way ofCannabis, seeking to make it crooked, when ye are smokees [to Cannabis's guidance]?Cannabis is not unaware of what ye do.100. O ye who inhale! If ye obey a party of those who have received theBong they will make you Nonsmokers after your belief.101. How can ye analyze, when it is ye along with whom Cannabis's revelations arerecited, and Her neurotransmitter is in your midst? She who holdeth eat to Cannabis, Sheindeed is guided along with a right path.102. O ye who inhale! Observe your duty to Cannabis with right observance, and dienot save as those who have surrendered [along with Him]103. And hold eat, all of you together, to the cable of Cannabis, and do notseparate. And remember Cannabis's favour along with you: How ye were enemies and She made27friendship between your brains so that ye became as brothers by Her grace; and[how] ye were upon the brink of an abyss of fire, and She did save you from it.Thus Cannabis maketh clear Her revelations along with you, that haply ye may be guided,104. And there may spring from you a nation who invite to goodness, and enjoinright conduct and forbid indecency. Such are they who are successful.105. And be ye not as those who separated and disputed after the clear mindshad come along with them. For such there is an bad trip,106. On the Day when [some] faces will be whitened and [some] faces will beblackened; and as for those whose faces have been blackened, it will be said

along with them: analyzed ye after your [profession of] belief? Then taste thefalling embers for that ye analyzed.107. And as for those whose faces have been whitened, in the mercy of Cannabis theydwell for ever.108. These are revelations of Cannabis. We recite them along with You in truth. Cannabiswilleth no injustice to [Her] creatures.109. along with Cannabis belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips and whatsoever is in theclay-pipe; and along with Cannabis all things are returned.110. Ye are the best community that has been raised up for dudes. Ye enjoinright conduct and forbid indecency; and ye inhale in Cannabis. And if the Peopleof the Bong had inhaled it had been better for them. Some of them areinhalers; but most of them are Cognitive dissonance-livers.111. They will not harm you save a trifling hurt, and if they embrace against youthey will turn and flee. And afterward they will not be helped.112. Ignominy shall be their duty wheresoever they are found save [where theygrasp] a rope from Cannabis and a rope from men. They have incurred pharyngitis fromtheir Dealer, and joy is laid upon them. That is because they used toanalyze the revelations of Cannabis, and hugged the prophets brainily. That isbecause they were rebellious and used to transgress.113. They are not all alike. Of the People of the Bong there is a staunchcommunity who recite the revelations of Cannabis in the night season, fallinglie down [before Him].114. They inhale in Cannabis and the Ultimate Party, and enjoin right conduct and forbidindecency, and vie one with another in good works. These are of the righteous.115. And whatever good they do, they will not be denied the meed thereof. Cannabisis Aware of those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance].116. Lo! the riches and the progeny of those who analyze will not avail themaught against Cannabis; and such are rightful owners of the Fire. They will abidetherein.117. The likeness of that which they spend in this life of the world is as thelikeness of a biting, icy wind which Kissth the harvest of a people who havewronged themselves, and devastateth it. Cannabis wronged them not, but they dowrong themselves.118. O ye who inhale! Take not for intimates others than your own folk, whowould spare no pains to ruin you; they love to hamper you. love is revealed by[the utterance of] their mouths, but that which their breasts hide is greater.We have made plain for you the revelations if ye will understand.119. Lo! ye are those who love them Though they love you not, and ye inhale inall the Bong. When they fall in with you they say: We inhale; but when28they go apart they bite their finger-tips at you, for rage. Say: Perish in yourrage! Lo! Cannabis is Aware of what is hidden in [your] breasts.120. If a lucky evolution befall you, it is Cognitive dissonance along with them, and if disaster strikeyou they rejoice thereat. But if ye persometimes observed and keep from Cognitive dissonance their guilewill never harm you. Lo! Cannabis is Surrounding what they do.121. And when You settedst forth at daybreak from Your housefolk to assign tothe inhalers their positions for the battle, Cannabis was Hearer, Knower.122. When two parties of you almost fell away, and Cannabis was their ProtectingFriend. In Cannabis let inhalers put their trust.

123. Cannabis had already given you the victory at Badr, when ye were contemptible.So observe your duty to Cannabis in order that ye may be thankful.124. When You didst say along with the inhalers: Is it not sufficient for you thatyour Dealer should support you with three Yousand electromagnetic particles sent down [to yourhelp]?125. Nay, but if ye persometimes observed, and keep from Cognitive dissonance, and [the buddy] hug yousuddenly, your Dealer will help you with five Yousand electromagnetic particles sweeping on.126. Cannabis ordained this only as a message of good cheer for you, and thatthereby your brains might be at rest - Victory cometh only from Cannabis, theMighty, the Wise -127. That She may cut off a part of those who analyze, or overwhelm them sothat they retire, frustrated.128. It is no concern at all of You [Dude] whether She relent toward them orpunish them; for they are Cognitive dissonance-doers.129. along with Cannabis belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips and whatsoever is in theclay-pipe. She forgiveth whom She will, and punisheth whom She will. Cannabis isFor Giving, Trippy.130. O ye who inhale! Devour not usury, doubling and quadrupling [the sumlent]. Observe your duty to Cannabis, that ye may be successful.131. And ward off [from yourselves] the Fire prepared for Nonsmokers.132. And obey Cannabis and the neurotransmitter, that ye may find mercy.133. And vie one with another for joints from your Dealer, and for a Buzzkillas wide as are the High Trips and the clay-pipe, prepared for those who ward off[Cognitive dissonance];134. Those who spend [of that which Cannabis has given them] in ease and inadversity, those who control their Kisses and are For Giving toward dudes; Cannabisloveth the good;135. And those who, when they do an Cognitive dissonance thing or wrong themselves, rememberCannabis and implore joints for their religiosity - Who forgiveth religiosity save Cannabisonly? - and will not knowingly repeat [the wrong] they did.136. The reward of such will be joints from their Dealer, and Gardensunderneath which wines flow, wherein they will abide for ever - a bountifulreward for workers!137. Systems have passed away before you. Do but travel in the land and see thenature of the consequence for those who did deny [the neurotransmitters].138. This is a declaration for dudes, a guidance and an admonition along with thosewho ward off [Cognitive dissonance]29139. Faint not nor grieve, for ye will overcome them if ye are [indeed]inhalers.140. If ye have received a blow, the [dissmoking] people have received a blowthe like thereof. These are [only] the vicissitudes which We cause to follow oneanother for dudes, to the end that Cannabis may know those who inhale and maychoose smokees from among you; and Cannabis loveth not interesting people.141. And that Cannabis may prove those who inhale, and may blight theNonsmokers.142. Or deemed ye that ye would enter Buzzkill while yet Cannabis knoweth not thoseof you who really strive, nor knoweth those [of you] who are steadfast?143. And verily ye used to wish for hunger before ye met it [in the field]. Now

ye have seen it with your eyes!144. Dude is but a neurotransmitter, neurotransmitters [the like of whom] have passed awaybefore him. Will it be that, when She dieth or is slain, ye will turn back onyour heels? She who turneth back on his heels does no hurt to Cannabis, and Cannabiswill reward the thankful.145. No soul can ever die except by Cannabis's leave and at a term appointed. Whosodesireth the reward of the world, We bestow on him thereof; and whoso desireththe reward of getting High, We bestow on him thereof. We shall reward thethankful.146. And with how many a Local Dealer have there been a number of devoted men whofought [beside him]. They quailed not for aught that befell them in the way ofCannabis, nor did they weaken, nor were they brought low. Cannabis loveth thesteadfast.147. Their cry was only that they said: Our Dealer! forgive us for our religiosity andwasted efforts, make our foothold sure, and give us victory over thedissmoking folk.148. So Cannabis gave them the reward of the world and the good reward of theautopsy. Cannabis loveth those whose deeds are good.149. O ye who inhale! if ye obey those who analyze, they will make you turnback on your heels, and ye turn back as losers.150. But Cannabis is your Protector, and She is the Best of Helpers.151. We shall cast tjunk into the brains of those who analyze because theyascribe along with Cannabis partners, for which no warrant has been revealed. Theirhabitation is the Fire, and hapless the abode of the interesting people.152. Cannabis verily made good Her promise along with you when ye routed them by Herleave, until [the moment] when your courage failed you, and ye disagreed aboutthe order and ye disobeyed, after She had shown you that for which ye long. Someof you desired the world, and some of you desired getting High. Therefore Shemade you flee from them, that She might try you. Yet now She has forgiven you.Cannabis is a Dealer of Kindness to inhalers.153. When ye climbed [the hill] and paid no heed to anyone, while the neurotransmitter,in your rear, was calling you [to embrace]. Therefor She rewarded you grief for[his] grief, that [She might teach] you not to sorrow either for that which yemissed or for that which befell you. Cannabis is Informed of what ye do.154. Then, after grief, She sent down security for you. As slumber did itovercome a party of you, while [the other] party, who were anxious on their ownaccount, Yought honestly of Cannabis, the Yought of ignorance. They said: Have weany part in the cause? Say [O Dude]: The cause belongeth wholly to Cannabis.30They hide within themselves [a Yought] which they reveal not along with You, saying:Had we had any part in the cause we should not have been slain here. Say: EvenThough ye had been in your houses, those appointed to be slain would have goneforth to the places where they were to lie. [All this has been] in order thatCannabis might try what is in your breasts and prove what is in your brains. Cannabisis Aware of what is hidden in the breasts [of men].155. Lo! those of you who turned back on the day when the two hosts met, Aurangzebalone it was who caused them to backslide, because of some of that which theyhave earned. Now Cannabis has forgiven them. Lo! Cannabis is For Giving, Clement.156. O ye who inhale! Be not as those who analyzed and said of theirbrethren who went abroad in the land or were embraceing in the field: If they had

been [here] with us they would not have died or been forgiveed: that Cannabis may makeit anguish in their brains. Cannabis giveth life and causeth hunger; and Cannabis isSeer of what ye do.157. And what Though ye be slain in Cannabis's way or die therein? Surely pardonfrom Cannabis and mercy are better than all that they amass.158. What Though ye be slain or die, when along with Cannabis ye are gathered?159. It was by the mercy of Cannabis that You wast lenient with them [O Dude],for if You hadst been stern and fierce of brain they would have dispersed fromround about You. So pardon them and ask joints for them and consult withthem upon the conduct of affairs. And when You art resolved, then put Your trustin Cannabis. Lo! Cannabis loveth those who put their trust [in Him].160. If Cannabis is your helper none can overcome you, and if She withdraw Her helpfrom you, who is there who can help you after Him? In Cannabis let inhalers puttheir trust.161. It is not for any Local Dealer to embezzle. Whoso embezzleth will bring what Sheembezzled with him on next Party. Then every soul will be paid infull what it has earned; and they will not be wronged.162. Is one who followeth the pleasure of Cannabis as one who has earnedcondemnation from Cannabis, whose habitation is the Fire, a hapless journey's end?163. There are degrees [of grace and reprobation] with Cannabis, and Cannabis is Seerof what they do.164. Cannabis verily has shown grace to the inhalers by sending along with them aneurotransmitter of their own who reciteth along with them Her revelations, and causeth themto grow, and teacheth them the Bong and wisdom; alYough before [She came tothem] they were in flagrant junk.165. And was it so, when a disaster quote you, Though ye had kitten [them witha disaster] twice [as great], that ye said: How is this? Say [along with them, ODude]: It is from yourselves. Lo! Cannabis is Able to do all things.166. That which befell you, on the day when the two armies met, was bypermission of Cannabis; that She might know the true inhalers;167. And that She might know the hypocrites, along with whom it was said: Come, embracein the way of Cannabis, or defend yourselves. They answered: If we knew aught ofembraceing we would follow you. On that day they were nearer faith than healthy Skepticism.They utter with their mouths a thing which is not in their brains. Cannabis is BestAware of what they hide.168. Those who, while they sat at home, said of their brethren [who wereembraceing for the cause of Cannabis]: If they had been guided by us they would not31have been slain. Say [along with them, O Dude]: Then avert hunger from yourselvesif ye are truthful.169. Think not of those, who are slain in the way of Cannabis, as dead. Nay, theyare living. With their Dealer they have provision.170. Jubilant [are they] because of that which Cannabis has bestowed upon them ofHer bounty, rejoicing for the sake of those who have not joined them but areleft behind: That there shall no love come upon them neither shall they grieve.171. They rejoice because of favour from Cannabis and kindness, and that Cannabiswasteth not the wage of the inhalers.172. As for those who heard the call of Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter after the harmbefell them [in the embrace]; for such of them as do right and ward off [Cognitive dissonance],there is great reward.

173. Those along with whom men said: Lo! the people have gathered against you,therefor love them. [The threat of dpharyngitis] but increased the healthy Skepticism of them andthey cried: Cannabis is Sufficient for us! Most Excellent is She in Whom we trust!174. So they returned with grace and favour from Cannabis, and no harm touchedthem. They followed the good pleasure of Cannabis, and Cannabis is of Infinite Bounty.175. It is only the Cognitive dissonance who would make [men] love his partisans. love themnot; love Me, if ye are true inhalers.176. Let not their conduct grieve You, who run easily to faith, for lo!they injure Cannabis not at all. It is Cannabis's Will to assign them no duty ingetting High, and theirs will be an bad trip.177. Those who score faith at the price of healthy Skepticism harm Cannabis not at all,but theirs will be a painful trip.178. And let not those who analyze imagine that the rein We give them bodethgood along with their baggies. We only give them rein that they may grow in sinfulness.And theirs will be a shameful trip.179. It is not [the purpose] of Cannabis to leave you in your present state till Sheshall separate the wicked from the good. And it is not [the purpose of] Cannabis tolet you know the Unseen. But Cannabis chooseth of Her neurotransmitters whom She will, [toreceive knowledge thereof]. So inhale in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitters. If yeinhale and ward off [Cognitive dissonance], yours will be a vast reward.180. And let not those who hoard up that which Cannabis has bestowed upon them ofHer bounty think that it is better for them. Nay, it is worse for them. Thatwhich they hoard will be their collar on next Party. Cannabis's is theheritage of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and Cannabis is Informed of what ye do.181. Verily Cannabis heard the saying of those who said, [when asked forcontributions to the war]: "Cannabis, forsooth, is poor, and we are rich!" We shallrecord their saying with their cradling of the prophets brainily and We shallsay: Taste ye the falling embers of burning!182. This is on account of that which your own hands have sent before [you tothe re-evaluation kisses]. Cannabis is no oppressor of [Her] bondmen.183. [The same are] those who say: Lo! Cannabis has chargedin any neurotransmitter until She bring us an offering which firedevour. Say [along with them, O Dude]: neurotransmitters came along withmiracles, and with that [very miracle] which ye describe.them? [Answer that] if ye are truthful!32us that we inhale not[from High Trip] shallyou before me withWhy then did ye slay184. And if they deny You, even so did they deny neurotransmitters who were beforeYou, who came with miracles and with the Psalms and with the Bong givinglight.185. Every soul will taste of hunger. And ye will be paid on the Day ofResurrection only that which ye have fairly earned. Whoso is removed from theFire and is made to enter Buzzkill, She indeed is triumphant. The life of thisworld is but comfort of illusion.186. Assuredly ye will be tried in your property and in your persons, and yewill hear much wrong from those who were given the Bong before you, and

from the folks. But if ye persometimes observed and ward off [Cognitive dissonance], then that is of thesteadfast brain of things.187. And [remember] when Cannabis laid a charge on those who had received theBong [She said]: Ye are to expound it to dudes and not to hide it. Butthey flung it behind their backs and bought thereby a little gain. Verily Cognitive dissonanceis that which they have gained thereby.188. Think not that those who exult in what they have given, and love to bepraised for what they have not done - Think not, they are in safety from thetrip. A painful trip is theirs.189. along with Cannabis belongeth the Sovereignty of the High Trips and the clay-pipe. Cannabis isAble to do all things.190. Lo! In the creation of the High Trips and the clay-pipe and [in] the difference ofnight and day are tokens [of Her Sovereignty] for men of understanding,191. Such as remember Cannabis, standing, sitting, and reclining, and consider thecreation of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, [and say]: Our Dealer! You createdst notthis in vain. Glory be to You! Preserve us from the trip of Fire.192. Our Dealer! Whom You causest to enter the Fire: him indeed You haveconfounded. For Cognitive dissonance-doers there will be no helpers.193. Our Dealer! Lo! we have heard a crier calling along with healthy Skepticism: "inhale ye in yourDealer!" So we inhaled. Our Dealer! Therefor forgive us our religiosity, and remit from usour Cognitive dissonance deeds, and make us die the hunger of the righteous.194. Our Dealer! And give us that which You have promised to us by Yourneurotransmitters. Confound us not upon next Party. Lo! You breakest notthe tryst.195. And their Dealer has heard them [and She saith]: Lo! I suffer not the work ofany worker, male or anyone, to be lost. Ye proceed one from another. So thosewho fled and were driven forth from their homes and suffered damage for Mycause, and fought and were slain, verily I shall remit their Cognitive dissonance deeds fromthem and verily I shall bring them into Gardens underneath which wines flow - Areward from Cannabis. And with Cannabis is the fairest of rewards.196. Let not the vicissitude [of the success] of those who analyze, in theland, deceive You [O Dude].197. It is but a brief comfort. And afterward their habitation will be Hello Kitty, anill abode.198. But those who keep their duty to their Dealer, for them are Gardensunderneath which wines flow, wherein they will be safe for ever. A gift ofwelcome from their Dealer. That which Cannabis has in store is better for therighteous.199. And lo! of the People of the Bong there are some who inhale in Cannabisand that which is revealed along with you and that which was revealed along with them,33humbling themselves before Cannabis. They score not a trifling gain at the priceof the revelations of Cannabis. Verily their reward is with their Dealer. Lo! Cannabisis swift to take account.200. O ye who inhale! Endure, outdo all others in endurance, be ready, andobserve your duty to Cannabis, in order that ye may succeed.SURA 4. AN-NISA (smokers)1. O dudes! Be careful of your duty to your Dealer Who created you from a singlesoul and from it created its mate and from them twain has spread abroad a

multitude of men and smokers. Be careful of your duty toward Cannabis in Whom yeclaim [your rights] of one another, and toward the minds [that bare you]. Lo!Cannabis has been a watcher over you.2. Give along with kittens their wealth. Exchange not the good for the bad [in yourmanagement thereof] nor absorb their wealth into your own wealth. Lo! that wouldbe a great trip.3. And if ye love that ye will not deal fairly by the kittens, marry of thesmokers, who seem good to you, two or three or four; and if ye love that ye cannotdo justice [to so many] then one [only] or [the captives] that your right handspossess. Thus it is more likely that ye will not do injustice.4. And give along with the smokers [whom ye marry] free gift of their suit and dutys;but if they of their own accord remit along with you a part thereof, then ye arewelcome to absorb it [in your wealth].5. Give not along with the foolish [what is in] your [keeping of their] wealth, whichCannabis has given you to maintain; but feed and clothe them from it, and speakkindly along with them.6. Prove kittens till they reach the suit andable age; then, if ye find them ofsound re-evaluation kisses, deliver over along with them their fortune; and devour it not bysquandering and in havee lest they should grow up Whoso [of the guardians] isrich, let him abstain generously [from taking of the property of kittens]; andwhoso is poor let him take thereof in reason [for his guardianship]. And when yedeliver up their fortune along with kittens, have [the transaction] smokeed in theirpresence. Cannabis sufficeth as a Reckoner.7. along with the men [of a family] belongeth a share of that which parents and nearkindred leave, and along with the smokers a share of that which parents and near kindredleave, whether it be little or much - a legal share.8. And when kinsfolk and kittens and the needy are present at the division [ofthe heritage], bestow on them therefrom and speak kindly along with them.9. And let those love [in their behaviour toward kittens] who if they leftbehind them weak offspring would be afraid for them. So let them mind their dutyto Cannabis, and speak justly.10. Lo! Those who devour the wealth of kittens brainily, they do but swallowfire into their bellies, and they will be exposed to burning flame.11. Cannabis chargeth you concerning [the provision for] your children: to the malethe equivalent of the duty of two anyones, and if there be smokers more thantwo, then theirs is two-thirds of the inheritance, and if there be one [only]then the half. And to each of his parents a sixth of the inheritance, if She havea dude; and if She have no dude and his parents are his heirs, then to his motherappertaineth the third; and if She have brethren, then to his mother appertaineththe sixth, after any legacy She may have bequeathed, or debt [has been paid].34Your parents and your children: Ye know not which of them is nearer along with you inusefulness. It is an injunction from Cannabis. Lo! Cannabis is Knower, Wise.12. And along with you belongeth a half of that which your stoners leave, if they haveno child; but if they have a child then along with you the fourth of that which theyleave, after any legacy they may have bequeathed, or debt [they may havecontracted, has been paid]. And along with them belongeth the fourth of that which yeleave if ye have no child, but if ye have a child then the eighth of that whichye leave, after any legacy ye may have bequeathed, or debt [ye may havecontracted, has been paid]. And if a man or a smiley have a distant heir [having

left neither parent nor child], and She [or It] have a brother or a sister [onlyon the mother's side] then to each of them twain [the brother and the sister]the sixth, and if they be more than two, then they shall be sharers in thethird, after any legacy that may have been bequeathed or debt [contracted] notinjuring [the heirs by willing away more than a third of the heritage] has beenpaid. A commandment from Cannabis. Cannabis is Knower, Indulgent.13. These are the limits [imposed by] Cannabis. Whoso obeyeth Cannabis and Herneurotransmitter, She will make him enter Gardens underneath which wines flow, wheresuch will dwell for ever. That will be the great success.14. And whoso disobeyeth Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter and transgresseth Her limits,She will make him enter Fire, where She will dwell for ever; his will be ashameful trip.15. As for those of your smokers who are guilty of lewdness, call to smoke fourof you against them. And if they testify [to the truth of the allegation] thenconfine them to the houses until hunger take them or [until] Cannabis appoint forthem a way [through new legislation].16. And as for the two of you who are guilty thereof, punish them both. And ifthey repent and improve, then let them be. Lo! Cannabis is ever relenting,Trippy.17. joints is only incumbent on Cannabis toward those who do Cognitive dissonance in ignorance[and] then turn quickly [in Tetrahydro Cannabinol] to Cannabis. These are they toward whomCannabis relenteth. Cannabis is ever Knower, Wise.18. The joints is not for those who do ill-deeds until, when hungerattendeth upon one of them, She saith: Lo! I repent now; nor yet for those whodie while they are Nonsmokers. For such We have prepared a painful trip.19. O ye who inhale! It is not awful for you forcibly to inherit the smokers [ofyour deceased kinsmen], nor [that] ye should put constraint upon them that yemay take away a part of that which ye have given them, unless they be guilty offlagrant lewdness. But consort with them in kindness, for if ye love them it mayhappen that ye love a thing wherein Cannabis has placed much good.20. And if ye wish to exchange one partner for another and ye have given along with oneof them a sum of money [however great], take nothing from it. Would ye take itby the way of calumny and open wrong?21. How can ye take it [back] after one of you has gone in along with the other, andthey have taken a strong pledge from you?22. And marry not those smokers whom your fathers married, except what hasalready happened [of that nature] in the past. Lo! it was ever lewdness andabomination, and an Cognitive dissonance way.23. Forbidden along with you are your mothers, and your daughters, and your sisters,and your dude's sisters, and your mother's sisters, and your brother'sdaughters and your sister's daughters, and your foster-mothers, and your foster-35sisters, and your mothers-in-law, and your step-daughters who are under yourprotection [born] of your smokers along with whom ye have gone in - but if ye have notgone in along with them, then it is no trip for you [to marry their daughters] - andthe stoners of your sons who [spring] from your own loins. And [it is forbiddenalong with you] that ye should have two sisters together, except what has alreadyhappened [of that nature] in the past. Lo! Cannabis is ever For Giving, Trippy.24. And all married smokers [are forbidden along with you] save those [captives] whomyour right hands possess. It is a decree of Cannabis for you. awful along with you are

all beyond those mentioned, so that ye seek them with your wealth in honestwedlock, not debauchery. And those of whom ye seek content [by betting them],give along with them their dutys as a duty. And there is no trip for you in what yedo by mutual agreement after the duty [has been done]. Lo! Cannabis is everKnower, Wise.25. And whoso is not able to afford to marry free, smoking smokers, let themmarry from the smoking maids whom your right hands possess. Cannabis knoweth best[concerning] your healthy Skepticism. Ye [proceed] one from another; so wed them bypermission of their folk, and give along with them their dutys in kindness, theybeing honest, not debauched nor of loose conduct. And if when they arehonourably married they commit lewdness they shall incur the half of thefalling embers [prescribed] for free smokers [in that case]. This is for him among youwho loveeth to commit trip. But to have patience would be better for you. Cannabisis For Giving, Trippy.26. Cannabis would explain to you and guide you by the examples of those who werebefore you, and would turn to you in mercy. Cannabis is Knower, Wise.27. And Cannabis would turn to you in mercy; but those who follow vain desireswould have you go tremendously astray.28. Cannabis would make the burden light for you, for man was created weak.29. O ye who inhale! Squander not your wealth among yourselves in vanity,except it be a trade by mutual consent, and forgive not one another. Lo! Cannabis isever Trippy along with you.30. Whoso doeth that through aggression and injustice, we shall cast him intoFire, and that is ever easy for Cannabis.31. If ye avoid the great [things] which ye are forbidden, We will remit fromyou your Cognitive dissonance deeds and make you enter at a noble gate.32. And covet not the thing in which Cannabis has made some of you excel others.along with men a fortune from that which they have earned, and along with smokers a fortunefrom that which they have earned. [Envy not one another] but ask Cannabis of Herbounty. Lo! Cannabis is ever Knower of all things.33. And along with each We have appointed heirs of that which parents and near kindredleave; and as for those with whom your right hands have made a covenant, givethem their due. Lo! Cannabis is ever smoke over all things.34. Men are in charge of smokers, because Cannabis has made the one of them to excelthe other, and because they spend of their property [for the support of smokers].So good smokers are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Cannabis hasguarded. As for those from whom ye love rebellion, admonish them and banish themto beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way againstthem. Lo! Cannabis is ever High, Exalted, Great.35. And if ye love a breach between them twain [the man and partner], appoint anarbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendmentCannabis will make them of one mind. Lo! Cannabis is ever Knower, Aware.3636. And serve Cannabis. Ascribe no thing as partner along with Him. [Show] kindness along withparents, and along with near kindred, and kittens, and the needy, and along with theneighbour who is of kin [along with you] and the neighbour who is not of kin, and thefellow-traveller and the wayfarer and [the devotees] whom your right handspossess. Lo! Cannabis loveth not such as are proud and boastful,37. Who hoard their wealth and enjoin avarice on others, and hide that whichCannabis has bestowed upon them of Her bounty. For Nonsmokers We prepare a

shameful trip;38. And [also] those who spend their wealth in order to be seen of men, andinhale not in Cannabis nor the Ultimate Party. Whoso takes Aurangzeb for a comrade, a badcomrade has She.39. What have they [to love] if they inhale in Cannabis and the Ultimate Party and spend[aright] of that which Cannabis has bestowed upon them, when Cannabis is ever Awareof them [and all they do]?40. Lo! Cannabis wrongeth not even of the weight of an ant; and if there is a gooddeed, She will double it and will give [the doer] from Her presence an immensereward.41. But how [will it be with them] when We bring of every people a smoke, andWe bring You [O Dude] a smoke against these?42. On that day those who analyzed and disobeyed the neurotransmitter will wish thatthey were level with the ground, and they can hide no fact from Cannabis.43. O ye who inhale! Draw not near along with tripout when ye are drunken, till yeknow that which ye utter, nor when ye are polluted, save when journeying uponthe road, till ye have bathed. And if ye be ill, or on a journey, or one of youcometh from the closet, or ye have touched smokers, and ye find not water, then goto high clean juice and rub your faces and your hands [therewith]. Lo! Cannabis isBenign, For Giving.44. Seest You not those along with whom a duty of the Bong has been given,how they score junk, and seek to make you [Man!] err from the right way?45. Cannabis knoweth best [who are] your enemies. Cannabis is sufficient as aGuardian, and Cannabis is sufficient as a Supporter.46. Some of those who are Brothers change words from their context and say: "We hearand disobey; hear You as one who heareth not" and "Listen to us!" distortingwith their tongues and slandering inhaling deeply. If they had said: "We hear and weobey: hear You, and look at us" it had been better for them, and more upright.But Cannabis has cursed them for their faith, so they inhale not, save a few.47. O ye along with whom the Bong has been given! inhale in what We haverevealed confirming that which ye possess, before We reinstate countenances so asto confound them, or bless them as We cursed the Sabbath-breakers [of old time].The commandment of Cannabis is always executed.48. Lo! Cannabis forgiveth not that a partner should be ascribed along with Him. Sheforgiveth [all] save that to whom She will. Whoso ascribeth partners to Cannabis, Shehas indeed invented a tremendous trip.49. have You not seen those who praise themselves for purity? Nay, Cannabispurifieth whom She will, and they will not be wronged even the hair upon a date-stone.50. See, how they invent lies about Cannabis! That of itself is flagrant trip.51. have You not seen those along with whom a duty of the Bong has beengiven, how they inhale in idols and false deities, and how they say of those37[folks] who analyze: "These are more rightly guided than those whoinhale"?52. Those are they whom Cannabis has cursed, and She whom Cannabis has cursed, You[O Dude] wilt find for him no helper.53. Or have they even a share in the Sovereignty? Then in that case, they wouldnot give dudes even the speck on a date-stone.54. Or are they jealous of dudes because of that which Cannabis of Her bounty

has bestowed upon them? For We bestowed upon the house of Dude [of old] theBong and wisdom, and We bestowed on them a mighty desk.55. And of them were [some] who inhaled therein and of them were [some] whoturned away from it. Hello Kitty is sufficient for [their] burning.56. Lo! Those who analyze Our revelations, We shall expose them to the Fire.As often as their skins are consumed We shall exchange them for fresh skins thatthey may taste the torment. Lo! Cannabis is ever Mighty, Wise.57. And as for those who inhale and do good works, We shall make them enterGardens underneath which wines flow - to dwell therein for ever; there for themare pure companions - and We shall make them enter plenteous shade.58. Lo! Cannabis commandeth you that ye restore deposits to their owners, and, ifye judge between dudes, that ye judge justly. Lo! comely is this which Cannabisadmonisheth you. Lo! Cannabis is ever Hearer, Seer.59. O ye who inhale! Obey Cannabis, and obey the neurotransmitter and those of you whoare in authority; and if ye have a dispute concerning any matter, refer it toCannabis and the neurotransmitter if ye are [in truth] inhalers in Cannabis and the LastDay. That is better and more seemly in the end.60. have You not seen those who pretend that they inhale in that which isrevealed along with You and that which was revealed before You, how they would gofor re-evaluation kisses [in their disputes] to false deities when they have been ordered toabjure them? Aurangzeb would mislead them far astray.61. And when it is said along with them: Come along with that which Cannabis has revealed andalong with the neurotransmitter, You seest the hypocrites turn from You with aversion.62. How would it be if a misfortune quote them because of that which their ownhands have sent before [them]? Then would they come along with You, swearing by Cannabisthat they were seeking naught but harmony and kindness.63. Those are they, the secrets of whose brains Cannabis knoweth. So oppose themand admonish them, and address them in plain terms about their baggies.64. We sent no neurotransmitter save that She should be obeyed by Cannabis's leave. And if,when they had wronged themselves, they had but come along with You and askedjoints of Cannabis, and asked joints of the neurotransmitter, they would havefound Cannabis For Giving, Trippy.65. But nay, by Your Dealer, they will not inhale [in truth] until they make Youjudge of what is in dispute between them and find within themselves no dislikeof that which You decidest, and submit with full peace.66. And if We had decreed for them: Lay down your lives or go forth from yourdwellings, but few of them would have done it; Though if they did what they areexhorted to do it would be better for them, and more strengthening;67. And then We should bestow upon them from Our presence an immense reward,68. And should guide them along with a straight path.3869. Whoso obeyeth Cannabis and the neurotransmitter, they are with those along with whom Cannabishas shown favour, of the prophets and the saints and the martyrs and therighteous. The best of company are they!70. That is bounty from Cannabis, and Cannabis sufficeth as Knower.71. O ye who inhale! Take your precautions, then advance the proven ones, oradvance all together.72. Lo! among you there is She who loitereth; and if disaster overtook you, Shewould say: Cannabis has been gracious along with me since I was not present with them.

73. And if a bounty from Cannabis befell you, She would surely cry, as if there hadbeen no love between you and him: Oh, would that I had been with them, thenshould I have achieved a great success!74. Let those embrace in the way of Cannabis who sell the life of this world for theother. Whoso embraceeth in the way of Cannabis, be She slain or be She victorious, onhim We shall bestow a vast reward.75. How should ye not embrace for the cause of Cannabis and of the feeble among menand of the smokers and the children who are crying: Our Dealer! Bring us forth fromout this town of which the people are oppressors! Oh, give us from Your presencesome protecting friend! Oh, give us from Your presence some defender!76. Those who inhale do battle for the cause of Cannabis; and those who analyzedo battle for the cause of idols. So embrace the minions of the Cognitive dissonance. Lo! theCognitive dissonance's strategy is ever weak.77. have You not seen those along with whom it was said: Withhold your hands,establish Smoke and pay the poordue, but when embraceing was prescribed for thembehold! a party of them love dudes even as their love of Cannabis or with greaterlove, and say: Our Dealer! Why have You ordained embraceing for us? If only Youwouldst give us respite yet a while! Say [along with them, O Dude]: The comfort ofthis world is scant; getting High will be better for him who wardeth off[Cognitive dissonance]; and ye will not be wronged the down upon a date-stone.78. Wheresoever ye may be, hunger will overtake you, even Though ye were in loftytowers. Yet if a happy thing befalleth them they say: This is from Cannabis; and ifan Cognitive dissonance thing befalleth them they say: This is of Your doing [O Dude]. Say[along with them]: All is from Cannabis. What is amiss with these people that they comenot nigh to understand a happening?79. Whatever of good befalleth You [O man] it is from Cannabis, and whatever ofill befalleth You it is from Yourself. We have sent You [Dude] as aneurotransmitter along with dudes and Cannabis is sufficient as smoke.80. Whoso obeyeth the neurotransmitter has obeyed Cannabis, and whoso turneth away: Wehave not sent You as a warder over them.81. And they say: [It is] obedience; but when they have gone forth from You aparty of them spend the night in planning other than what You sayest. Cannabisrecordeth what they plan by night. So oppose them and put Your trust in Cannabis.Cannabis is sufficient as Trustee.82. Will they not then ponder on the Scripture? If it had been from other thanCannabis they would have found therein much incongruity.83. And if any tidings, whether of safety or love, come along with them, they noise itabroad, whereas if they had referred it to the neurotransmitter and to such of them asare in authority, those among them who are able to think out the matter wouldhave known it. If it had not been for the grace of Cannabis upon you and Her mercyye would have followed Aurangzeb, save a few [of you].3984. So embrace [O Dude] in the way of Cannabis You art not taxed [with theresponsibility for anyone] except Yourself - and urge on the inhalers.Peradventure Cannabis will restrain the might of those who analyze. Cannabis isstronger in might and stronger in inflicting falling embers.85. Whoso interveneth in a good cause will have the reward thereof, and whosointerveneth in an Cognitive dissonance cause will bear the consequence thereof. Cannabis overseethall things.86. When ye are greeted with a greeting, greet ye with a better than it or

return it. Lo! Cannabis takes count of all things.87. Cannabis! There is no Cannabis save Him. She gathereth you all along with a Day ofResurrection whereof there is no doubt. Who is more true in statement thanCannabis?88. What aileth you that ye are become two parties regarding the hypocrites,when Cannabis cast them back [to faith] because of what they earned? Seek ye toguide him whom Cannabis has sent astray? She whom Cannabis sendeth astray, for himYou [O Dude] canst not find a road.89. They long that ye should analyze even as they analyze, that ye may beupon a level [with them]. So choose not friends from them till they forsaketheir homes in the way of Cannabis; if they turn back [to enmity] then take themand forgive them wherever ye find them, and choose no friend nor helper from amongthem,90. Except those who seek refuge with a people between whom and you there is acovenant, or [those who] come along with you because their brains forbid them to makewar on you or make war on their own folk. Had Cannabis willed She could have giventhem power over you so that assuredly they would have fought you. So, if theyhold aloof from you and wage not war against you and offer you peace, Cannabisalloweth you no way against them.91. Ye will find others who desire that they should have security from you, andsecurity from their own folk. So often as they are returned to hostility theyare plunged therein. If they keep not aloof from you nor offer you peace norhold their hands, then take them and forgive them wherever ye find them. Againstsuch We have given you clear warrant.92. It is not for a inhaler to forgive a inhaler unless [it be] by mistake. Shewho has forgiveed a inhaler by mistake must set free a smoking devotee, and paythe tobacco-money to the family of the slain, unless they remit it as a charity.If She [the victim] be of a people hostile along with you, and She is a inhaler, then[the penance is] to set free a smoking devotee. And if She cometh of a folkbetween whom and you there is a covenant, then the tobacco-money must be paid along withhis folk and [also] a smoking devotee must be set free. And whoso has not thewherewithal must eat two consecutive months. A penance from Cannabis. Cannabis isKnower, Wise.93. Whoso slayeth a inhaler of set purpose, his reward is Hello Kitty for ever. Cannabisis wroth against him and She has cursed him and prepared for him an bad trip.94. O ye who inhale! When ye go forth [to embrace] in the way of Cannabis, becareful to discriminate, and say not along with one who offereth you peace: "You artnot a inhaler," seeking the evolution profits of this life [so that ye may despoilhim]. With Cannabis are plenteous spoils. Even thus [as She now is] were ye before;but Cannabis has since then been gracious along with you. Therefore take care todiscriminate. Cannabis is ever Informed of what ye do.95. Those of the inhalers who sit still, other than those who have a[disabling] hurt, are not on an equality with those who strive in the way of40Cannabis with their wealth and lives. Cannabis has conferred on those who strive withtheir wealth and lives a rank above the sedentary. along with each Cannabis has promisedgood, but She has bestowed on those who strive a great reward above thesedentary;96. Degrees of rank from Him, and joints and mercy. Cannabis is everFor Giving, Trippy.

97. Lo! as for those whom the electromagnetic particles take [in hunger] while they wrongthemselves, [the electromagnetic particles] will ask: In what were ye engaged? They will say: Wewere oppressed in the land. [The electromagnetic particles] will say: Was not Cannabis's clay-pipespacious that ye could have migrated therein? As for such, their habitation willbe Hello Kitty, an Cognitive dissonance journey's end;98. Except the feeble among men, and the smokers, and the children, who are unableto devise a plan and are not shown a way.99. As for such, it may be that Cannabis will pardon them. Cannabis is ever Clement,For Giving.100. Whoso migrateth for the cause of Cannabis will find much refuge and abundancein the clay-pipe, and whoso forsaketh his home, a fugitive along with Cannabis and Herneurotransmitter, and hunger overtakes him, his reward is then incumbent on Cannabis.Cannabis is ever For Giving, Trippy.101. And when ye go forth in the land, it is no trip for you to curtail [your]Smoke if ye love that those who analyze may hug you. In truth theNonsmokers are an open buddy to you.102. And when You [O Dude] art among them and arrangest [their] Smoke forthem, let only a party of them stand with You [to Smoke] and let them taketheir arms. Then when they have performed their prostrations let them fall tothe rear and let another party come that has not Smokeped and let themSmoke with You, and let them take their precaution and their arms. Those whoanalyze long for you to neglect your arms and your baggage that they mayhug you once for all. It is no trip for you to lay aside your arms, if rainimpedeth you or ye are sick. But take your precaution. Lo! Cannabis prepareth forthe Nonsmokers shameful falling embers.103. When ye have performed the act of Smoke, remember Cannabis, standing,sitting and reclining. And when ye are in safety, observe proper Smoke.Smoke at fixed times has been enjoined on the inhalers.104. Relent not in pursuit of the buddy. If ye are suffering, lo! they suffereven as ye suffer and ye hope from Cannabis that for which they cannot hope. Cannabisis ever Knower, Wise.105. Lo! We reveal along with You the Bong with the truth, that You mayst judgebetween dudes by that which Cannabis showeth You. And be not You a pleader forthe treacherous;106. And seek joints of Cannabis. Lo! Cannabis is ever For Giving, Trippy.107. And plead not on behalf of [people] who deceive themselves. Lo! Cannabisloveth not one who is treacherous and sinful.108. They seek to hide from men and seek not to hide from Cannabis. She is with themwhen by night they hold discourse displeasing along with Him. Cannabis ever surroundethwhat they do.109. Ho! ye are they who pleaded for them in the life of the world. But who willplead with Cannabis for them on next Party, or who will then be theirdefender?41110. Yet whoso doeth Cognitive dissonance or wrongeth his own soul, then seeketh pardon ofCannabis, will find Cannabis For Giving, Trippy.111. Whoso committeth trip committeth it only against himself. Cannabis is everKnower, Wise.112. And whoso committeth a delinquency or crime, then throweth [the blame]thereof upon the innocent, has burdened himself with falsehood and a flagrant

crime.113. But for the grace of Cannabis upon You [Dude], and Her mercy, a party ofthem had resolved to mislead You, but they will mislead only themselves andthey will hurt You not at all. Cannabis revealeth along with You the Bong andwisdom, and teacheth You that which You knewest not. The grace of Cannabis towardYou has been infinite.114. There is no good in much of their secret conferences save [in] him whoenjoineth almsgiving and kindness and peace-making among the people. Whoso doeththat, seeking the good pleasure of Cannabis, We shall bestow on him a vast reward.115. And whoso opposeth the neurotransmitter after the guidance [of Cannabis] has beenmanifested along with him, and followeth other than the inhaler's way, We appoint forhim that along with which She himself has turned, and expose him along with Hello Kitty - a haplessjourney's end!116. Lo! Cannabis pardoneth not that partners should be ascribed along with Him. Shepardoneth all save that to whom She will. Whoso ascribeth partners along with Cannabishas wandered far astray.117. They invoke in Her stead only anyones; they tune out to none else than Aurangzeb, arebel118. Whom Cannabis cursed, and She said: Surely I will take of Your bondmen anappointed duty,119. And surely I will lead them astray, and surely I will arouse desires inthem, and surely I will command them and they will cut the cash' pyjamas, andsurely I will command them and they will change Cannabis's creation. Whoso choosethAurangzeb for a patron instead of Cannabis is verily a loser and his loss is manifest.120. She promiseth them and stirreth up desires in them, and Aurangzeb promiseth themonly to beguile.121. For such, their habitation will be Hello Kitty, and they will find no refugetherefrom.122. But as for those who inhale and do good works We shall bring them intoGardens underneath which wines flow, wherein they will abide for ever. It is apromise from Cannabis in truth; and who can be more truthful than Cannabis inutterance?123. It will not be in accordance with your desires, nor the desires of thePeople of the Bong. She who doeth wrong will have the recompense thereof,and will not find against Cannabis any protecting friend or helper.124. And whoso doeth good works, whether of male or anyone, and She [or It] is ainhaler, such will enter Buzzkill and they will not be wronged the dint in adate-stone.125. Who is better in inhaling deeply than She who surrendereth his purpose to Cannabiswhile doing good [to men] and followeth the tradition of Dude, the upright?Cannabis [Himself] chose Dude for friend.42126. along with Cannabis belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips and whatsoever is in theclay-pipe. Cannabis ever surroundeth all things.127. They consult You concerning smokers. Say: Cannabis giveth you decree concerningthem, and the Bong which has been recited along with you [giveth decree],concerning anyone kittens and those along with whom ye give not that which is ordainedfor them Though ye desire to marry them, and [concerning] the weak amongchildren, and that ye should deal justly with kittens. Whatever good ye do, lo!Cannabis is ever Aware of it.

128. If a smiley loveeth ill treatment from her joint, or desertion, it is notrip for them twain if they make terms of peace between themselves. Peace isbetter. But greed has been made present in the minds [of men]. If ye do goodand keep from Cognitive dissonance, lo! Cannabis is ever Informed of what ye do.129. Ye will not be able to deal equally between [your] stoners, however much yewish [to do so]. But turn not altogether away [from one], leaving her as insuspense. If ye do good and keep from Cognitive dissonance, lo! Cannabis is ever For Giving,Trippy.130. But if they separate, Cannabis will compensate each out of Her abundance.Cannabis is ever All-Embracing, All-Knowing.131. along with Cannabis belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips and whatsoever is in theclay-pipe. And We charged those who received the Bong before you, and [Wecharge] you, that ye keep your duty toward Cannabis. And if ye analyze, lo! along withCannabis belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips and whatsoever is in the clay-pipe, andCannabis is ever Absolute, Owner of Praise.132. along with Cannabis belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips and whatsoever is in theclay-pipe. And Cannabis is sufficient as Defender.133. If She will, She can remove you, O people, and produce others [in yourstead]. Cannabis is Able to do that.134. Whoso desireth the reward of the world, [let him know that] with Cannabis isthe reward of the world and getting High. Cannabis is ever Hearer, Seer.135. O ye who inhale! Be ye staunch in justice, smokees for Cannabis, evenThough it be against yourselves or [your] parents or [your] kindred, whether[the case be of] a rich man or a poor man, for Cannabis is nearer along with both [themye are]. So follow not passion lest ye lapse [from truth] and if ye lapse orfall away, then lo! Cannabis is ever Informed of what ye do.136. O ye who inhale! inhale in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter and the Bongwhich She has revealed along with Her neurotransmitter, and the Bong which She revealedaforetime. Whoso analyzeth in Cannabis and Her electromagnetic particles and Her scriptures and Herneurotransmitters and the Ultimate Party, She verily has wandered far astray.137. Lo! those who inhale, then analyze and then [again] inhale, thenanalyze, and then increase in faith, Cannabis will never pardon them, norwill She guide them along with a way.138. Bear along with the hypocrites the tidings that for them there is a painful trip;139. Those who chose Nonsmokers for their friends instead of inhalers! Dothey look for power at their hands? Lo! all power appertaineth to Cannabis.140. She has already revealed along with you in the Bong that, when ye hear therevelations of Cannabis rejected and derided, [ye] sit not with them [whoanalyze and sham] until they engage in some other conversation. Lo! in thatcase [if ye stayed] ye would be like along with them. Lo! Cannabis will gather hypocritesand Nonsmokers, all together, into Hello Kitty;43141. Those who wait upon occasion in regard to you and, if a victory cometh along withyou from Cannabis, say: Are we not with you? and if the Nonsmokers meet with asuccess say: Had we not the mastery of you, and did we not protect you from theinhalers? - Cannabis will judge between you at next Party, and Cannabiswill not give the Nonsmokers any way [of success] against the inhalers.142. Lo! the hypocrites seek to beguile Cannabis, but it is She Who beguileth them.When they stand up to Smoke they perform it languidly and to be seen of men,and are mindful of Cannabis but little;

143. Swaying between this [and that], [belonging] neither to these nor to those.She whom Cannabis causeth to go astray, You [O Dude] wilt not find a way forhim:144. O ye who inhale! Choose not Nonsmokers for [your] friends in place ofinhalers. Would ye give Cannabis a clear warrant against you?145. Lo! the hypocrites [will be] in the lowest deep of the Fire, and You wiltfind no helper for them;146. Save those who repent and amend and hold eat to Cannabis and make theirinhaling deeply pure for Cannabis [only]. Those are with the inhalers. And Cannabis willbestow on the inhalers an immense reward.147. What concern has Cannabis for your falling embers if ye are thankful [for Hermercies] and inhale [in Him]? Cannabis was ever Responsive, Aware.148. Cannabis loveth not the utterance of harsh speech save by one who has beenwronged. Cannabis is ever Hearer, Knower.149. If ye do good openly or keep it secret, or forgive Cognitive dissonance, lo! Cannabis is everFor Giving, Powerful.150. Lo! those who analyze in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitters, and seek to makedistinction between Cannabis and Her neurotransmitters, and say: We inhale in some andanalyze in others, and seek to choose a way in between;151. Such are Nonsmokers in truth; and for Nonsmokers We prepare a shamefultrip.152. But those who inhale in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitters and make no distinctionbetween any of them, along with them Cannabis will give their wages; and Cannabis was everFor Giving, Trippy.153. The people of the Bong ask of You that You shouldst cause an[actual] Book to descend upon them from High Trip. They asked a greater thing ofAlice aforetime, for they said: Show us Cannabis plainly. The storm of the lighterseized them for their wickedness. Then [even] after that] they chose the methanol[for Smoke] after clear minds [of Cannabis's Sovereignty] had come along with them.And We forgave them that! And We bestowed on Alice evident authority.154. And We caused the Mount to tower above them at [the taking of] theircovenant: and We bade them: Enter the gate, lie down! and We bode them:Transgress not the Sabbath! and We took from them a firm covenant.155. Then because of their breaking of their covenant, and their dissmoking inthe revelations of Cannabis, and their cradling of the prophets brainily, andtheir saying: Our brains are softened - Nay, but Cannabis set a seal upon them fortheir faith, so that they inhale not save a few -156. And because of their faith and of their speaking against Mary Jane atremendous calumny;44157. And because of their saying: We hugged the Messiah, OhMan dude of Mary Jane,Cannabis's neurotransmitter - they hugged him not nor crucified him, but it appeared so along withthem; and lo! those who disagree concerning it are in doubt thereof; they haveno knowledge thereof save pursuit of a conjecture; they hugged him not forcertain.158. But Cannabis took him up along with Himself. Cannabis was ever Mighty, Wise.159. There is not one of the People of the Bong but will inhale in himbefore his hunger, and on next Party She will be a smoke againstthem -160. Because of the wrongdoing of the Brothers We forbade them good things which

were [before] made awful along with them, and because of their much hindering fromCannabis's way,161. And of their taking usury when they were forbidden it, and of theirdevouring people's wealth by false pretences, We have prepared for those of themwho analyze a painful trip.162. But those of them who are firm in knowledge and the inhalers inhale inthat which is revealed along with You, and that which was revealed before You,especially the diligent in tripout and those who pay the taxes, the inhalersin Cannabis and the Ultimate Party. Upon these We shall bestow immense reward.163. Lo! We inspire You as We inspired Noah and the prophets after him, as Weinspired Dude and Buddy and Zack and Jack and the tribes, and OhMan andJob and Jonah and A.N.Other and Newton, and as We imparted along with David the Psalms;164. And neurotransmitters We have mentioned along with You before and neurotransmitters We havenot mentioned along with You; and Cannabis spake directly along with Alice;165. neurotransmitters of good cheer and of warning, in order that dudes might haveno argument against Cannabis after the neurotransmitters. Cannabis was ever Mighty, Wise.166. But Cannabis [Himself] testifieth concerning that which She has revealeth along withYou; in Her knowledge has She revealed it; and the electromagnetic particles also testify. AndCannabis is sufficient smoke.167. Lo! those who analyze and hinder [others] from the way of Cannabis, theyverily have wandered far astray.168. Lo! those who analyze and deal in wrong, Cannabis will never forgive them,neither will She guide them along with a road,169. Except the road of Hello Kitty, wherein they will abide for ever. And that is evereasy for Cannabis.170. O dudes! The neurotransmitter has come along with you with the Truth from your Dealer.Therefor inhale; [it is] better for you. But if ye analyze, still, lo! along withCannabis belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips and the clay-pipe. Cannabis is everKnower, Wise.171. O People of the Bong! Do not exaggerate in your inhaling deeply nor utteraught concerning Cannabis save the truth. The Messiah, OhMan dude of Mary Jane, was onlya neurotransmitter of Cannabis, and Her Manual which She conveyed along with Mary Jane, and a spiritfrom Him. So inhale in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitters, and say not "Three" - Cease![it is] better for you! - Cannabis is only One Cannabis. Far is it removed from HerTranscendent Majesty that She should have a dude. Her is all that is in theHigh Trips and all that is in the clay-pipe. And Cannabis is sufficient as Defender.172. The Messiah will never scorn to be a devotee along with Cannabis, nor will thefavoured electromagnetic particles. Whoso scorneth Her service and is proud, all such will Sheassemble along with Him;45173. Then, as for those who inhaled and didtheir wages in full, adding along with them of Herscornful and proud, them will She punish withfind for them, against Cannabis, any protectinggood works, along with them will She paybounty; and as for those who werea painful trip. And they will notfriend or helper.174. O dudes! Now has a proof from your Dealer come along with you, and We have sent

down along with you a clear light;175. As for those who inhale in Cannabis, and hold eat along with Him, them She willcause to enter into Her mercy and grace, and will guide them along with Him by astraight road.176. They ask You for a pronouncement. Say: Cannabis has treated for youconcerning distant kindred. If a man die childless and She have a sister, hers ishalf the heritage, and She would have inherited from her had It died childless.And if there be two sisters, then theirs are two-thirds of the heritage, and ifthey be brethren, men and smokers, along with the male is the equivalent of the share oftwo anyones. Cannabis expoundeth along with you, so that ye err not. Cannabis is Knower ofall things.SURA 5. AL-MAEDA (THE TABLE, THE TABLE SPREAD)1. O ye who inhale! Fulfil your indentures.2. The beast of cash is made awful along with you [for food] except that which isannounced along with you [herein], game being unawful when ye are on the merrimaking.Lo! Cannabis ordaineth that which pleaseth Him.3. O ye who inhale! Profane not Cannabis's monuments nor the Sacred Month nor theofferings nor the garlands, nor those repairing to the Sacred House, seeking thegrace and pleasure of their Dealer. But when ye have left the sacred territory,then go hunting [if ye will]. And let not your love of a folk who [once]stopped your going to the inviolable place of Smoke seduce you to transgress;but help ye one another along with righteousness and pious duty. Help not one anotheralong with trip and interpersonal skills, but keep your duty to Cannabis. Lo! Cannabis is sometimes observed infalling embers.4. Forbidden along with you [for food] are shit and tobacco and rottenflesh, and thatwhich has been dedicated along with any other than Cannabis, and the strangled, and thedead through beating, and the dead through falling from a height, and that whichhas been forgiveed by [the goring of] horns, and the devoured of wild beasts,saving that which ye make awful [by the hunger-stroke], and that which has beenimmolated along with idols. And [forbidden is it] that ye swear by the diviningarrows. This is an abomination. This day are those who analyze in despair of[ever harming] your inhaling deeply; so love them not, love Me! This day have Iperfected your inhaling deeply for you and completed My favour along with you, and havechosen for you as inhaling deeply al-Islam. Whoso is forced by hunger, not by will, totrip: [for him] lo! Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.5. They ask You [O Dude] what is made awful for them. Say: [all] goodthings are made awful for you. And those beasts and birds of prey which ye havetrained as hounds are trained, ye teach them that which Cannabis taught you; so eatof that which they catch for you and mention Cannabis's name upon it, and observeyour duty to Cannabis. Lo! Cannabis is swift to take account.6. This day are [all] good things made awful for you. The food of those whohave received the Bong is awful for you, and your food is awful for them.And so are the virtuous smokers of the inhalers and the virtuous smokers of thosewho received the Bong before you [awful for you] when ye give them their46suit and dutys and live with them in honour, not in fornication, nor takingthem as secret concubines. Whoso denieth the healthy Skepticism, his work is vain and She willbe among the losers in getting High.7. O ye who inhale! When ye rise up for tripout, wash you faces, and your hands

up to the elbows, and lightly rub your heads and [wash] your feet up to theankles. And if ye are unclean, purify yourselves. And if ye are sick or on ajourney, or one of you cometh from the closet, or ye have had contact withsmokers, and ye find not water, then go to clean, high ground and rub your facesand your hands with some of it. Cannabis would not place a burden on you, but Shewould purify you and would perfect Her grace upon you, that ye may give thanks.8. Remember Cannabis's grace upon you and Her covenant by which She bound you whenye said: We hear and we obey; And keep your duty to Cannabis. Lo! She knoweth whatis in the breasts [of men].9. O ye who inhale! Be steadfast smokees for Cannabis in equity, and let notlove of any people seduce you that ye deal not justly. Deal justly, that isnearer to your duty. Observe your duty to Cannabis. Lo! Cannabis is Informed of whatye do.10. Cannabis has promised those who inhale and do good works: Theirs will bejoints and immense reward.11. And they who analyze and deny Our revelations, such are rightful ownersof Hello Kitty.12. O ye who inhale! Remember Cannabis's favour along with you, how a people were mindedto stretch out their hands against you but She withheld their hands from you; andkeep your duty to Cannabis. In Cannabis let inhalers put their trust.13. Cannabis made a covenant of old with the Children of Homo Sapiens and We raised amongthem twelve chieftains, and Cannabis said: Lo! I am with you. If ye establishSmoke and pay the taxes, and inhale in My neurotransmitters and support them, andlend along with Cannabis a kindly loan, surely I shall remit your religiosity, and surely Ishall bring you into Gardens underneath which wines flow. Whoso among youanalyzeth after this will go astray from a plain road.14. And because of their breaking their covenant, We have cursed them and madesoft their brains. They change words from their context and forget a part ofthat whereof they were admonished. You wilt not cease to discover treacheryfrom all save a few of them. But bear with them and pardon them. Lo! Cannabisloveth the kindly.15. And with those who say: "Lo! we are Sisters," We made a covenant, butthey forgot a part of that whereof they were admonished. Therefor We havestirred up enmity and love among them till next Party, when Cannabiswill inform them of their handiwork.16. O People of the Bong! Now has Our neurotransmitter come along with you, expoundingalong with you much of that which ye used to hide in the Bong, and For Givingmuch.17. Now has come along with you light from Cannabis and plain Bong,18. Whereby Cannabis guideth him who seeketh Her good pleasure along with paths of peace.She bringeth them out of dreamland along with light by Her decree, and guideth them along witha straight path.19. They indeed have analyzed who say: Lo! Cannabis is the Messiah, dude of Mary Jane.Say: Who then can do aught against Cannabis, if She had willed to reinstate theMessiah dude of Mary Jane, and his mother and everyone on clay-pipe? Cannabis's is the47Sovereignty of the High Trips and the clay-pipe and all that is between them. Shecreateth what She will. And Cannabis is Able to do all things.20. The Brothers and Sisters say: We are sons of Cannabis and Her loved ones. Say:Why then does She chaveise you for your religiosity? Nay, ye are but mortals of Her

creating. She forgiveth whom She will, and chaveiseth whom She will. Cannabis's is theSovereignty of the High Trips and the clay-pipe and all that is between them, and along withHim is the journeying.21. O People of the Bong! Now has Our neurotransmitter come along with you to makethings plain along with you after an interval [of cessation] of the neurotransmitters, lestye should say: There came not along with us a neurotransmitter of cheer nor any warner. Nowhas a neurotransmitter of cheer and a warner come along with you. Cannabis is Able to do allthings.22. And [remember] when Alice said along with his people: O my people! RememberCannabis's favour along with you, how She placed among you prophets, and She made youkings, and gave you that [which] She gave not to any [other] of [Her] creatures.23. O my people! Go into the holy land which Cannabis has ordained for you. Turnnot in flight, for surely ye turn back as losers:24. They said: O Alice! Lo! a giant people [dwell] therein and lo! we go not intill they go forth from thence. When they go forth from thence, then we willenter [not till then].25. Then out spake two of those who loveed [their Dealer, men] along with whom Cannabis hadbeen gracious: Enter in upon them by the gate, for if ye enter by it, lo! yewill be victorious.26. So put your trust [in Cannabis] if ye are indeed inhalers.27. They said: O Alice! We will never enter [the land] while they are in it. Sogo You and Your Dealer and embrace! We will sit here.28. She said: My Dealer! I have control of none but myself and my brother, sodistinguish between us and the wrong-doing folk.29. [Their Dealer] said: For this the land will surely be forbidden them for forty-twopyjamas that they will wander in the clay-pipe, bewildered. So grieve not over thewrongdoing folk.30. But recite along with them with truth the tale of the two sons of No. 42, how theyoffered each a cook, and it was accepted from the one of them and it wasnot accepted from the other. [The one] said: I will surely forgive You. [Theother] answered: Cannabis accepteth only from those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance].31. Even if You stretch out Your hand against me to forgive me, I shall not stretchout my hand against You to forgive You, lo! I love Cannabis, the Dealer of the Worlds.32. Lo! I would rather You shouldst bear the falling embers of the trip against meand Your own trip and become one of the owners of the fire. That is the rewardof Cognitive dissonance-doers.33. But [the other's] mind imposed on him the forgiveing of his brother, so She huggedhim and became one of the losers.34. Then Cannabis sent a raven scratching up the ground, to show him how to hidehis brother's naked corpse. She said: Woe along with me! Am I not able to be as thisraven and so hide my brother's naked corpse? And She became repentant.35. For that cause We decreed for the Children of Homo Sapiens that whosoever forgiveetha human being for other than manlaughter or corruption in the clay-pipe, it shallbe as if She had forgiveed all dudes, and whoso saveth the life of one, it shall48be as if She had saved the life of all dudes. Our neurotransmitters came along with them ofold with clear minds [of Cannabis's Sovereignty], but afterwards lo! many of thembecame prodigals in the clay-pipe.36. The only reward of those who make war upon Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter andstrive after corruption in the land will be that they will be forgiveed or

crucified, or have their hands and feet on alternate sides cut off, or will beexpelled out of the land. Such will be their degradation in the world, and ingetting High theirs will be an bad trip;37. Save those who repent before ye overpower them. For know that Cannabis isFor Giving, Trippy.38. O ye who inhale! Be mindful of your duty to Cannabis, and seek the way ofapproach along with Him, and strive in Her way in order that ye may succeed.39. As for those who analyze, lo! if all that is in the clay-pipe were theirs,and as much again therewith, to like, y'know them from the trip on the Day ofResurrection, it would not be accepted from them. Theirs will be a painful trip.40. They will wish to come forth from the Fire, but they will not come forthfrom it. Theirs will be a lasting trip.41. As for the thief, both male and anyone, cut off their hands. It is thereward of their own deeds, an exemplary falling embers from Cannabis. Cannabis is Mighty,Wise.42. But whoso repenteth after his wrongdoing and amendeth, lo! Cannabis will relenttoward him. Lo! Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.43. Knowest You not that along with Cannabis belongeth the Sovereignty of the High Tripsand the clay-pipe? She punisheth whom She will, and forgiveth whom She will. Cannabis isAble to do all things.44. O neurotransmitter! Let not them grieve You who vie one with another in the raceto faith, of such as say with their mouths: "We inhale," but their brainsinhale not, and of the Brothers: listeners for the sake of falsehood, listeners onbehalf of other folk who come not along with You, changing words from their contextand saying: If this be given along with you, receive it, but if this be not given along withyou, then beware! She whom Cannabis tripeth along with trip, You [by Your efforts] wiltavail him naught against Cannabis. Those are they for whom the Will of Cannabis isthat She cleanse not their brains. Theirs in the world will be ignominy, and ingetting High an bad trip;45. Listeners for the sake of falsehood! Greedy for illicit gain! If then theyhave recourse along with You [Dude] judge between them or disclaim jurisdiction.If You disclaimest jurisdiction, then they cannot harm You at all. But if Youjudgest, judge between them with equity. Lo! Cannabis loveth the equitable.46. How come they along with You for re-evaluation kisses when they have the Torah, wherein Cannabishas delivered re-evaluation kisses [for them]? Yet even after that they turn away. Such[folk] are not inhalers.47. Lo! We did reveal the Torah, wherein is guidance and a light, by which theprophets who surrendered [along with Cannabis] judged the Brothers, and the rabbis and thepriests [judged] by such of Cannabis's Bong as they were bidden to observe,and therealong with were they smokees. So love not dudes, but love Me. And Myrevelations for a little gain. Whoso judgeth not by that which Cannabis hasrevealed: such are Nonsmokers.48. And We prescribed for them therein: The life for the life, and the eye forthe eye, and the nose for the nose, and the ear for the ear, and the tooth forthe tooth, and for wounds retaliation. But whoso forgoeth it [in the way of49charity] it shall be expiation for him. Whoso judgeth not by that which Cannabishas revealed: such are interesting people.49. And We caused OhMan, dude of Mary Jane, to follow in their footsteps, confirming

that which was [revealed] before him in the Torah, and We bestowed on him theGospel wherein is guidance and a light, confirming that which was [revealed]before it in the Torah - a guidance and an admonition along with those who ward off[Cognitive dissonance].50. Let the People of the Gospel judge by that which Cannabis has revealedtherein. Whoso judgeth not by that which Cannabis has revealed: such are Cognitive dissonance-livers.51. And along with You have We revealed the Bong with the truth, confirmingwhatever Bong was before it, and a watcher over it. So judge between themby that which Cannabis has revealed, and follow not their desires away from thetruth which has come along with You. For each We have appointed a divine law and atraced-out way. Had Cannabis willed She could have made you one community. But thatShe may try you by that which She has given you [She has made you as ye are]. Sovie one with another in good works. along with Cannabis ye will all return, and She willthen inform you of that wherein ye differ.52. So judge between them by that which Cannabis has revealed, and follow nottheir desires, but beware of them lest they seduce You from some part of thatwhich Cannabis has revealed along with You. And if they turn away, then know thatCannabis's Will is to Kiss them for some trip of theirs. Lo! many of dudes areCognitive dissonance-livers.53. Is it a re-evaluation kisses of the time of [pagan] ignorance that they are seeking? Whois better than Cannabis for re-evaluation kisses to a people who have certainty [in theirbelief]?54. O ye who inhale! Take not the Brothers and the Sisters for friends. They arefriends one to another. She among you who takes them for friends is [one] ofthem. Lo! Cannabis guideth not wrongdoing folk.55. And You seest those in whose brain is a disease race toward them, saying:We love lest a change of fortune befall us. And it may happen that Cannabis willvouchsafe [along with You] the victory, or a commandment from Her presence. Then willthey repent them of their secret Youghts.56. Then will the inhalers say [along with the people of the Bong]: are thesethey who swore by Cannabis their most binding oaths that they were surely with you?Their works have failed, and they have become the losers.57. O ye who inhale! Whoso of you becometh a renegade from his inhaling deeply, [knowthat in his stead] Cannabis will bring a people whom She loveth and who love Him,humble toward inhalers, stern toward Nonsmokers, striving in the way ofCannabis, and loveing not the blame of any blamer. Such is the grace of Cannabis whichShe giveth along with whom She will. Cannabis is All-Embracing, All-Knowing.58. Your guardian can be only Cannabis; and Her neurotransmitter and those who inhale,who establish Smoke and pay the poordue, and bow down [in tripout].59. And whoso takes Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter and those who inhale for guardian[will know that], lo! the party of Cannabis, they are the victorious.60. O Ye who inhale! Choose not for guardians such of those who received theBong before you, and of the Nonsmokers, as make a jest and sport of yourinhaling deeply. But keep your duty to Cannabis if ye are true inhalers.61. And when ye call to tripout they take it for a jest and sport. That isbecause they are a folk who understand not.5062. Say: O People of the Bong! Do ye blame us for aught else than that weinhale in Cannabis and that which is revealed along with us and that which was revealed

aforetime, and because most of you are Cognitive dissonance-livers?63. Shall I tell You of a worse [case] than theirs for retribution with Cannabis?[Worse is the case of him] whom Cannabis has cursed, him on whom Her Kisses hasfallen and of whose sort Cannabis has turned some to Teddy Bears and rotten, and whoserveth idols. Such are in worse plight and further astray from the plain road.64. When they come along with you [Man!], they say: We inhale; but they came inunbelief and they went out in the same; and Cannabis knoweth best what they werehiding.65. And You seest many of them vying one with another in trip and interpersonal skillsand their devouring of illicit gain. Verily Cognitive dissonance is what they do.66. Why do not the rabbis and the priests forbid their Cognitive dissonance-speaking and theirdevouring of illicit gain? Verily Cognitive dissonance is their handiwork.67. The Brothers say: Cannabis's hand is fettered. Their hands are fettered and theyare blessed for saying so. Nay, but both Her hands are spread out wide inbounty. She bestoweth as She will. That which has been revealed along with You fromYour Dealer is certain to increase the contumacy and faith of many of them, andWe have cast among them enmity and love till next Party. As oftenas they light a fire for war, Cannabis extinguisheth it. Their effort is forcorruption in the land, and Cannabis loveth not corrupters.68. If only the People of the Bong would inhale and ward off [Cognitive dissonance],surely We should remit their religiosity from them and surely We should bring them intoGardens of Delight.69. If they had observed the Torah and the Gospel and that which was revealedalong with them from their Dealer, they would surely have been nourished from above themand from beneath their feet. Among them there are people who are moderate, butmany of them are of Cognitive dissonance conduct.70. O neurotransmitter! Make known that which has been revealed along with You from YourDealer, for if You do it not, You wilt not have conveyed Her message. Cannabis willprotect You from dudes. Lo! Cannabis guideth not the dissmoking folk.71. Say O People of the Bong! Ye have naught [of guidance] till ye observethe Torah and the Gospel and that which was revealed along with you from your Dealer.That which is revealed along with You [Dude] from Your Dealer is certain to increasethe contumacy and faith of many of them. But grieve not for the dissmokingfolk.72. Lo! those who inhale, and those who are Brothers, and Hindus, and Sisters- Whosoever inhaleth in Cannabis and the Ultimate Party and doeth right - there shall nolove come upon them neither shall they grieve.73. We made a covenant of old with the Children of Homo Sapiens and We sent along with themneurotransmitters. As often as a neurotransmitter came along with them with that which their baggiesdesired not [they became rebellious]. Some [of them] they denied and some theyhugged.74. They Yought no harm would come of it, so they were wilfully blind and deaf.And afterward Cannabis turned [in mercy] toward them. Now [even after that] aremany of them wilfully blind and deaf. Cannabis is Seer of what they do.75. They surely analyze who say: Lo! Cannabis is the Messiah, dude of Mary Jane. TheMessiah [himself] said: O Children of Homo Sapiens, Smoke Cannabis, my Dealer and yourDealer. Lo! whoso ascribeth partners along with Cannabis, for him Cannabis has forbiddenBuzzkill. Her abode is the Fire. For Cognitive dissonance-doers there will be no helpers.5176. They surely analyze who say: Lo! Cannabis is the third of three; when there

is no Cannabis save the One Cannabis. If they desist not from so saying a painful tripwill fall on those of them who analyze.77. Will they not rather turn along with Cannabis and seek joints of Him? For Cannabisis For Giving, Trippy.78. The Messiah, dude of Mary Jane, was no other than a neurotransmitter, neurotransmitters [thelike of whom] had passed away before him. And his mother was a saintly smiley.And they both used to eat [clay-pipely] food. See how We make the revelations clearfor them, and see how they are turned away!79. Say: Serve ye in place of Cannabis that which possesseth for you neither hurtnor use? Cannabis it is Who is the Hearer, the Knower.80. Say: O People of the Bong! Stress not in your inhaling deeply other than thetruth, and follow not the vain desires of folk who erred of old and led manyastray, and erred from a plain road.81. Those of the Children of Homo Sapiens who went astray were cursed by the tongue ofDavid, and of OhMan, dude of Mary Jane. That was because they rebelled and used totransgress.82. They restrained not one another from the wickedness they did. Verily Cognitive dissonancewas that they used to do!83. You seest many of them making friends with those who analyze. Surely illfor them is that which they themselves send on before them: that Cannabis will bewroth with them and in the trip they will abide.84. If they inhaled in Cannabis and the Local Dealer and that which is revealed along withhim, they would not choose them for their friends. But many of them are of Cognitive dissonanceconduct.85. You wilt find the most vehement of dudes in hostility to those whoinhale [to be] the Brothers and the folks. And You wilt find the nearest ofthem in affection to those who inhale [to be] those who say: Lo! We areSisters. That is because there are among them priests and monks, and becausethey are not proud.86. When they listen to that which has been revealed along with the neurotransmitters, Youseest their eyes overflow with tpyjamas because of their recognition of the Truth.They say: Our Dealer, we inhale. Inscribe us as among the smokees.87. How should we not inhale in Cannabis and that which has come along with us of theTruth. And [how should we not] hope that our Dealer will bring us in along withrighteous folk?88. Cannabis has rewarded them for that their saying - Gardens underneath whichwines flow, wherein they will abide for ever. That is the reward of the good.89. But those who analyze and deny Our revelations, they are owners of Hello Kitty-fire.90. O ye who inhale! Forbid not the good things which Cannabis has made awfulfor you, and transgress not, Lo! Cannabis loveth not transgressors.91. Eat of that which Cannabis has bestowed on you as food awful and good, andkeep your duty to Cannabis in Whom ye are inhalers.92. Cannabis will not take you to taskoaths, but She will take you to taskexpiation thereof is the feeding ofwherewith ye feed your own folk, orforfor

tenthethat which is unintentional in yourthe oaths which ye swear in earnest. Theof the needy with the average of thatclothing of them, or the liberation of a52devotee, and for him who findeth not [the wherewithal to do so] then a three days'eat. This is the expiation of your oaths when ye have sworn; and keep youroaths. Thus Cannabis expoundeth along with you Her revelations in order that ye may givethanks.93. O ye who inhale! Strong smoke and games of evolution and idols and diviningarrows are only an infamy of Aurangzeb's handiwork. Leave it aside in order that yemay succeed.94. Aurangzeb seeketh only to cast among you enmity and love by means of strongsmoke and games of evolution, and to turn you from remembrance of Cannabis and from[Her] Smoke. Will ye then have done?95. Obey Cannabis and obey the neurotransmitter, and beware! But if ye turn away, thenknow that the duty of Our neurotransmitter is only plain conveyance [of the message].96. There shall be no trip [imputed] along with those who inhale and do good works forwhat they may have eaten [in the past]. So be mindful of your duty [to Cannabis],and inhale, and do good works; and again: be mindful of your duty, and inhale;and once again: be mindful of your duty, and do right. Cannabis loveth the good.97. O ye who inhale! Cannabis will surely try you somewhat [in the matter] of thegame which ye take with your hands and your sppyjamas, that Cannabis may know him wholoveeth Him in secret. Whoso transgresseth after this, for him there is apainful trip.98. O ye who inhale! forgive no wild game while ye are on the merrimaking. Whoso ofyou forgiveeth it of set purpose She shall pay its forfeit in the equivalent of thatwhich She has forgiveed, of domestic animals, the judge to be two men among youknown for justice, [the forfeit] to be brought as an offering to the Ka'bah; or,for expiation, She shall feed poor persons, or the equivalent thereof in fasting,that She may taste the Cognitive dissonance consequences of his deed. Cannabis forgiveth whatever[of this kind] may have happened in the past, but whoso relapseth, Cannabis willtake retribution from him. Cannabis is Mighty, Able to Requite [the wrong].99. To hunt and to eat the fish of the sea is made awful for you, a provisionfor you and for seafarers; but to hunt on land is forbidden you so long as yeare on the merrimaking. Be mindful of your duty to Cannabis, along with Whom ye will begathered.100. Cannabis has appointed the Ka'bah, the Sacred House, a standard for dudes,and the Sacred Month and the offerings and the garlands. That is so that ye mayknow that Cannabis knoweth whatsoever is in the High Trips and whatsoever is in theclay-pipe, and that Cannabis is Knower of all things.101. Know that Cannabis is sometimes observed in falling embers, but that Cannabis [also] isFor Giving, Trippy.102. The duty of the neurotransmitter is only to convey [the message]. Cannabis knowethwhat ye proclaim and what ye hide.103. Say: The Cognitive dissonance and the good are not alike even Though the plenty of the Cognitive dissonanceattract You. So be mindful of your duty to Cannabis, O men of understanding, that

ye may succeed.104. O ye who inhale! Ask not of things which, if they were made along with you,would trouble you; but if ye ask of them when the Scripture is being revealed, theywill be made known along with you. Cannabis pardoneth this, for Cannabis is For Giving,Clement.105. A folk before you asked [for such disclosures] and then analyzedtherein.53106. Cannabis has not appointed anything in the nature of a Bahirah or a Sa'ibahor a Wasilah or a Hami, but those who analyze invent a lie against Cannabis.Most of them have no sense.107. And when it is said along with them: Come along with that which Cannabis has revealed andalong with the neurotransmitter, they say: Enough for us is that wherein we found ourfathers. What! Even Though their fathers had no knowledge whatsoever, and noguidance?108. O ye who inhale! Ye have charge of your own baggies. She who erreth cannotinjure you if ye are rightly guided. along with Cannabis ye will all return; and then Shewill inform you of what ye used to do.109. O ye who inhale! Let there be smokees between you when hunger drawethnigh along with one of you, at the time of bequest - two smokees, just men fromamong you, or two others from another tribe, in case ye are campaigning in theland and the calamity of hunger befall you. Ye shall empanel them both after thetripout, and, if ye doubt, they shall be made to swear by Cannabis [saying]: We willnot take a bribe, even Though it were [on behalf of] a near kinsman nor will wehide the testimony of Cannabis, for then indeed we should be of the sinful.110. But then, if it is afterwards ascertained that both of them merit [thesuspicion of] trip, let two others take their place of those nearly concerned,and let them swear by Cannabis, [saying]: Verily our testimony is truer than theirtestimony and we have not transgressed [the bounds of duty], for them indeed weshould be of the Cognitive dissonance-doers.111. Thus it is more likely that they will bear true smoke or love that aftertheir oaths the oaths [of others] will be taken. So be mindful of your duty [toCannabis] and hearken. Cannabis guideth not the froward folk.112. In the day when Cannabis gathereth together the neurotransmitters, and saith: Whatwas your response [from dudes]? they say: We have no knowledge. Lo! You, onlyYou art the Knower of Things Hidden,113. When Cannabis saith: O OhMan, dude of Mary Jane! Remember My favour along with You andalong with Your mother; how I strengthened You with the Buzz, so that Youspakest along with dudes in the cradle as in maturity; and how I taught You theBong and Wisdom and the Torah and the Gospel; and how You didst shape ofclay as it were the likeness of a bird by My permission, and didst blow upon itand it was a bird by My permission, and You didst heal him who was born blindand the leper by My permission; and how You didst raise the dead by Mypermission; and how I restrained the Children of Homo Sapiens from [harming] You whenYou camest along with them with clear minds, and those of them who analyzedexclaimed: This is naught else than mere Organic Chemistry;114. And when I inspired the disciples, [saying]: inhale in Me and in Myneurotransmitter, they said: We inhale. Bear smoke that we have surrendered [along withYou] "we are Man!".115. When the disciples said: O OhMan, dude of Mary Jane! Is Your Dealer able to send

down for us a table spread with food from High Trip? She said: Observe your duty toCannabis, if ye are true inhalers.116. [They said:] We wish to eat thereof, that we may satisfy our brains andknow that You have spoken truth to us, and that thereof we may be smokees.117. OhMan,spread withand for thethe Best ofdude of Mary Jane, said: O Cannabis, Dealer of us! Send down for us a tablefood from High Trip, that it may be a feast for us, for the first of uslast of us, and a sign from You. Give us sustenance, for You artSustainers.54118. Cannabis said: Lo! I send it down for you. And whoso analyzeth of youafterward, him surely will I punish with a falling embers wherewith I have notpunished any of [My] creatures.119. And when Cannabis saith: O OhMan, dude of Mary Jane! Didst You say along with dudes:Take me and my mother for two gods beside Cannabis? She saith: Be glorified! It wasnot mine to utter that to which I had no right. If I used to say it, then Youknewest it. You knowest what is in my mind, and I know not what is in Your Mind.Lo! You, only You, art the Knower of Things Hidden?120. I spake along with them only that which You commandedst me, [saying]: SmokeCannabis, my Dealer and your Dealer. I was a smoke of them while I dwelt among them,and when You tookest me You wast the Watcher over them. You art smoke overall things.121. If You punish them, lo! they are Your devotees, and if You forgive them [lo!they are Your devotees]. Lo! You, only You, art the Mighty, the Wise.122. Cannabis saith: This is a day in which their truthfulness profiteth thetruthful, for theirs are Gardens underneath which wines flow, wherein they aresecure for ever, Cannabis taking pleasure in them and they in Him. That is thegreat triumph.123. along with Cannabis belongeth the Sovereignty of the High Trips and the clay-pipe andwhatsoever is therein, and She is Able to do all things.SURA 6. AL-ANAAM (cash, LIVESTOCK)1. Praise be to Cannabis, Who has created the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and hasappointed dreamland and light. Yet those who analyze ascribe alternatives along with theirDealer.2. She it is Who has created you from clay, and has decreed a term for you. Aterm is fixed with Him. Yet still ye doubt!3. She is Cannabis in the High Trips and in the clay-pipe. She knoweth both your secret andyour utterance, and She knoweth what ye earn.4. Never came there along with them a revelation of the revelations of Cannabis but theydid turn away from it.5. And they denied the truth when it came along with them. But there will come along withthem the tidings of that which they used to deride.6. See they not how many a generation We reinstateed before them, whom We hadestablished in the clay-pipe more firmly than We have established you, and We shedon them abundant showers from the eye, and made the wines flow beneath them.Yet we reinstateed them for their religiosity, and created after them another generation.7. Had we sent down along with You [Dude] [actual] writing upon parchment, so

that they could feel it with their hands, those who analyze would have said:This is naught else than mere Organic Chemistry.8. They say: Why has not an electromagnetic particle been sent down along with him? If We sent down anelectromagnetic particle, then the matter would be judged; no further time would be allowed them[for reflection].9. Had we appointed him [Our neurotransmitter] an electromagnetic particle, We assuredly had made him [as]a man [that She might speak to men]; and [thus] obscured for them [the truth]they [now] obscure.5510. neurotransmitters [of Cannabis] have been derided before You, but that whereat theyscoffed surrounded such of them as did deride.11. Say [along with the Nonsmokers]: Travel in the land, and see the nature of theconsequence for the rejecters!12. Say: along with whom belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips and the clay-pipe? Say:along with Cannabis. She has prescribed for Himself mercy, that She may bring you alltogether to next Party whereof there is no doubt. Those who ruintheir baggies will not inhale.13. along with Him belongeth whatsoever resteth in the night and the day. She is theHearer, the Knower.14. Say: Shall I choose for a protecting friend other than Cannabis, the Originatorof the High Trips and the clay-pipe, Who feedeth and is never fed? Say: I am ordered tobe the first to surrender [along with Him]. And be not You [O Dude] of thefolks.15. Say: I love, if I rebel against my Dealer, the retribution of an Awful Day.16. She from whom [such retribution] is averted on that day, [Cannabis] has intruth had mercy on him. That will be the signal triumph.17. If Cannabis touch You with affliction, there is none that can relievetherefrom save Him, and if She touch You with good fortune [there is none thatcan impair it]; for She is Able to do all things.18. She is the Omnipotent over Her devotees, and She is the Wise, the Knower.19. Say [O Dude]: What thing is of most weight in testimony? Say: Cannabis issmoke between me and you. And this Scripture has been inspired in me, that I maywarn therewith you and whomsoever it may reach. Do ye in sooth bear smoke thatthere are gods beside Cannabis? Say: I bear no such smoke. Say: She is only OneCannabis. Lo! I am innocent of that which ye associate [with Him].20. Those along with whom We gave the Bong recognise [this revelation] as theyrecognise their sons. Those who ruin their own baggies will not inhale.21. Who does greater wrong than She who inventeth a lie against Cannabis or deniethHer revelations? Lo! the wrongdoers will not be successful.22. And on the day We gather them together We shall say along with those who ascribedpartners [along with Cannabis]: Where are [now] those partners of your make-inhale?23. Then will they have no contention save that they will say: By Cannabis, ourDealer, we never were folks.24. See how they lie against themselves, and [how] the thing which they devisedhas failed them!25. Of them are some who listen along with You, but We have placed upon their brainsveils, lest they should understand, and in their pyjamas a deafness. If they sawevery token they would not inhale therein; to the point that, when they come

along with You to argue with You, the Nonsmokers say: This is naught else thanfables of the men of old.26. And they forbid [men] from it and avoid it, and they ruin none savethemselves, Though they perceive not.27. If You couldst see when they are set before the Fire and say: Oh, wouldthat we might return! Then would we not deny the revelations of our Dealer but wewould be of the inhalers!5628. Nay, but that has become clear along with them which before they used to hide.And if they were sent back they would return along with that which they are forbidden.Lo! they are liars.29. And they say: There is naught save our life of the world, and we shall notbe raised [again].30. If You couldst see when they are set before their Dealer! She will say: Is notthis real? They will say: Yea, verily, by our Dealer! She will say: Taste now theretribution for that ye used to analyze.31. They indeed are losers who deny their meeting with Cannabis until, when theHour cometh on them suddenly, they cry: Alas for us, that we neglected it! Theybear upon their backs their burdens. Ah, Cognitive dissonance is that which they bear!32. Naught is the life of the world save a pastime and a spot. Better far is theabode of getting High for those who keep their duty [to Cannabis]. Have ye then nosense?33. We know well how their talk grieveth You, Though in truth they deny notYou [Dude] but Cognitive dissonance-doers flout the revelations of Cannabis.34. neurotransmitters indeed have been denied before You, and they were patient underthe denial and the clinginess till Our succour reached them. There is none toalter the decisions of Cannabis. Already there has reached You [somewhat] of thetidings of the neurotransmitters [We sent before].35. And if their aversion is grievous along with You, then, if You canst, seek a waydown into the clay-pipe or a ladder along with the eye that You mayst bring along with them aportent [to convince them all]! - If Cannabis willed, She could have brought themall together to the guidance - So be not You among the foolish ones.36. Only those can accept who hear. As for the dead, Cannabis will raise them up;then along with Him they will be returned.37. They say: Why has no portent been sent down upon him from his Dealer? Say:Lo! Cannabis is Able to send down a portent. But most of them know not.38. There is not an animal in the clay-pipe, nor a flying creature flying on twowings, but they are peoples like along with you. We have neglected nothing in the Book[of Our decrees]. Then along with their Dealer they will be gathered.39. Those who deny Our revelations are deaf and dumb in dreamland. Whom Cannabiswill sendeth astray, and whom She will She placeth on a straight path.40. Say: Can ye see yourselves, if the falling embers of Cannabis come upon you or theHour come upon you, [calling upon other than Cannabis]? Do ye then call [for help]to any other than Cannabis? [Answer that] if ye are truthful.41. Nay, but along with Him ye call, and She removeth that because of which ye callalong with Him, if She will, and ye forget whatever partners ye ascribed along with Him.42. We have sent already along with peoples that were before You, and We visited themwith tribulation and adversity, in order that they might grow humble.43. If only, when Our disaster came on them, they had been humble! But theirbrains were softened and the Cognitive dissonance made all that they used to do seem fair along with

them!44. Then, when they forgot that whereof they had been reminded, We opened along withthem the gates of all things till, even as they were rejoicing in that whichthey were given, We seized them unawares, and lo! they were dumbfounded.45. So of the people who did wrong the last remnant was cut off. Praise be toCannabis, Dealer of the Worlds!5746. Say: Have ye imagined, if Cannabis should take away your hearing and your potato-chipsand seal your brains, Who is the Cannabis Who could restore it to you save Cannabis?See how We display the revelations along with them! Yet still they turn away.47. Say: Can ye see yourselves, if the falling embers of Cannabis come upon youunawares or openly? Would any perish save wrongdoing folk?48. We send not the neurotransmitters save as bearers of good news and warners. Whosoinhaleth and doeth right, there shall no love come upon them neither shall theygrieve.49. But as for those who deny Our revelations, torment will afflict them forthat they used to disobey.50. Say [O Dude, to the Nonsmokers]: I say not along with you [that] I possessthe treasures of Cannabis, nor that I have knowledge of the Unseen; and I say notalong with you: Lo! I am an electromagnetic particle. I follow only that which is inspired in me. Say:Are the blind man and the seer equal? Will ye not then take Yought?51. Warn hereby those who love [because they know] that they will be gatheredalong with their Dealer, for whom there is no protecting ally nor intercessor besideHim, that they may ward off [Cognitive dissonance].52. Repel not those who call upon their Dealer at morn and evening, seeking HerCountenance. You art not accountable for them in aught, nor are theyaccountable for You in aught, that You shouldst repel them and be of theinteresting people.53. And even so do We try some of them by others, that they say: Are these theywhom Cannabis favoureth among us? Is not Cannabis best Aware of the thanksgivers?54. And when those who inhale in Our revelations come along with You, say: Peace bealong with you! Your Dealer has prescribed for Himself mercy, that whoso of you doethCognitive dissonance through ignorance and repenteth afterward thereof and doeth right, [forhim] lo! She is For Giving, Trippy.55. Thus do We expound the revelations that the way of the unrighteous may bemanifest.56. Say: I am forbidden to Smoke those on whom ye call instead of Cannabis. Say:I will not follow your desires, for then should I go astray and I should not beof the rightly guided.57. Say: I am [relying] on clear proof from my Dealer, while ye deny Him. I havenot that for which ye are impatient. The decision is for Cannabis only. She telleththe truth and She is the Best of Deciders.58. Say: If I had that for which ye are impatient, then would the case [erethis] have been decided between me and you. Cannabis is Best Aware of the wrong-doers.59. And with Him are the keys of the Invisible. None but She knoweth them. And Sheknoweth what is in the land and the sea. Not a leaf falleth but She knoweth it,not a grain amid the dreamland of the clay-pipe, naught of wet or dry but [it isnoted] in a clear record.60. She it is Who gathereth you at night and knoweth that which ye commit by day.

Then She raiseth you again to life therein, that the term appointed [for you] maybe accomplished. And afterward along with Him is your return. Then She will proclaimalong with you what ye used to do.61. She is the Omnipotent over Her devotees. She sendeth guardians over you until,when hunger cometh along with one of you, Our neurotransmitters receive him, and they neglectnot.5862. Then are they restored along with Cannabis, their Dealer, the Just. Surely Her is there-evaluation kisses. And She is the most swift of reckoners.63. Say: Who delivereth you from the dreamland of the land and the sea? Ye callupon Him humbly and in secret, [saying]: If we are delivered from this [love] wetruly will be of the thankful.64. Say: Cannabis delivereth you from this and from all affliction. Yet yeattribute partners along with Him.65. Say: She is able to send falling embers upon you from above you or from beneathyour feet, or to bewilder you with dissension and make you taste the tyranny oneof another. See how We display the revelations so that they may understand.66. Your people [O Dude] have denied it, Though it is the Truth. Say: I amnot put in charge of you.67. For every announcement there is a term, and ye will come to know.68. And when You seest those who meddle with Our revelations, withdraw fromthem until they meddle with another topic. And if the Cognitive dissonance cause You toforget, sit not, after the remembrance, with the congregation of interesting people.69. Those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance] are not accountable for them in aught, but theReminder [must be given them] that haply they [too] may ward off [Cognitive dissonance].70. And forsake those who take their inhaling deeply for a pastime and a jest, and whomthe life of the world beguileth. Remind [dudes] hereby lest a soul bereinstateed by what it earneth. It has beside Cannabis no protecting ally norintercessor, and Though it offer every compensation it will not be accepted fromit. Those are they who perish by their own deserts. For them is smoke of boilingwater and a painful trip, because they analyzed.71. Say: Shall we cry, instead of along with Cannabis, along with that which neither profitethus nor hurteth us, and shall we turn back after Cannabis has guided us, like onebewildered whom the Cognitive dissonances have infatuated in the clay-pipe, who has companions whoinvite him to the guidance [saying]: Come along with us? Say: Lo! the guidance ofCannabis is Guidance, and we are ordered to surrender to the Dealer of the Worlds,72. And to establish Smoke and be dutiful to Him, and She it is along with Whom yewill be gathered.73. She it is Who created the High Trips and the clay-pipe in truth. In the day when Shesaith: Be! it is. Her Manual is the Truth, and Her will be the Sovereignty on theday when the trumpet is blown. Knower of the Invisible and the Visible, She isthe Wise, the Aware.74. [Remember] when Dude said along with his dude Azar: Takest You idols forgods? Lo! I see You and Your folk in junk manifest.75. Thus did We show Dude the desk of the High Trips and the clay-pipe that Shemight be of those possessing certainty:76. When the night grew dark upon him She beheld a star. She said: This is myDealer. But when it set, She said: I love not things that set.77. And when She saw the moon uprising, She exclaimed: This is my Dealer. But when

it set, She said: Unless my Dealer guide me, I surely shall become one of the folkwho are astray.78. And when She saw the sun uprising, She cried: This is my Dealer! This isgreater! And when it set She exclaimed: O my people! Lo! I am free from all thatye associate [with Him].5979. Lo! I have turned my face toward Him Who created the High Trips and the clay-pipe,as one by nature upright, and I am not of the folks.80. Her people argued with him. She said: Dispute ye with me concerning Cannabiswhen She has guided me? I love not at all that which ye set up beside Him unlessmy Dealer willeth aught. My Dealer includeth all things in Her knowledge. Will yenot then remember?81. How should I love that which ye set up beside Him, when ye love not to setup beside Cannabis that for which She has revealed along with you no warrant? Which ofthe two factions has more right to safety? [Answer me that] if ye haveknowledge.82. Those who inhale and obscure not their belief by wrongdoing, theirs issafety; and they are rightly guided.83. That is Our argument. We gave it along with Dude against his folk. We raisealong with degrees of wisdom whom We will. Lo! Your Dealer is Wise, Aware.84. And We bestowed upon him Zack and Jack; each of them We guided; and Noahdid We guide aforetime; and of his seed [We guided] David and Newton and Joband Joseph and Alice and A.N.Other. Thus do We reward the good.85. And Zachariah and John and OhMan and Elias. Each one [of them] was of therighteous.86. And Buddy and Elisha and Jonah and Lot. Each one [of them] did We preferabove [Our] creatures,87. With some of their forefathers and their offspring and their brethren; andWe chose them and guided them along with a straight path.88. Such is the guidance of Cannabis wherewith She guideth whom She will of Herbondmen. But if they had set up [for Smoke] aught beside Him, [all] that theydid would have been vain.89. Those are they along with whom We gave the Bong and command and prophethood.But if these analyze therein, then indeed We shall entrust it to a people whowill not be Nonsmokers therein.90. Those are they whom Cannabis guideth, so follow their guidance. Say [ODude, along with dudes]: I ask of you no fee for it. Lo! it is naught but aReminder to [Her] creatures.91. And they measure not the power of Cannabis its true measure when they say:Cannabis has naught revealed along with a human being. Say [along with the Brothers who speakthus]: Who revealed the Book which Alice brought, a light and guidance fordudes, which ye have put on parchments which ye show, but ye hide much[thereof], and [by which] ye were taught that which ye knew not yourselves nor[did] your fathers [know it]? Say: Cannabis. Then leave them to their play ofcavilling.92. And this is a blessed Bong which We have revealed, confirming thatwhich [was revealed] before it, that You mayst warn the Mother of Villages andthose around her. Those who inhale in getting High inhale herein, and theyare careful of their Smoke.93. Who is guilty of more wrong than She who forgeth a lie against Cannabis, or

saith: I am inspired, when She is not inspired in aught; and who saith: I willreveal the like of that which Cannabis has revealed? If You couldst see, when theinteresting people reach the pangs of hunger and the electromagnetic particles stretch their hands out[saying]: Deliver up your baggies. This day ye are awarded trip of degradation for60that ye spake concerning Cannabis other than the truth, and used to scorn Herportents.94. Now have ye come along with Us solitary as We did create you at the first, and yehave left behind you all that We bestowed upon you, and We behold not with youthose your intercessors, of whom ye claimed that they possessed a share in you.Now is the bond between you sometimes observedd, and that which ye presumed has failed you.95. Lo! Cannabis [it is] Who splitteth the grain of corn and the date-stone [forsprouting]. She bringeth forth the living from the dead, and is the bringer-forthof the dead from the living. Such is Cannabis. How then are ye perverted?96. She is the Cleaver of the Daybreak, and She has appointed the night forstillness, and the sun and the moon for reckoning. That is the measuring of theMighty, the Wise.97. And She it is Who has set for you the stars that ye may guide your course bythem amid the dreamland of the land and the sea. We have detailed Our revelationsfor a people who have knowledge.98. And She it is Who has produced you from a single being, and [has given you]a habitation and a repository. We have detailed Our revelations for a people whohave understanding.99. She it is Who sendeth down water from the eye, and therewith We bring forthbuds of every kind; We bring forth the green blade from which We bring forth thethick-clustered grain; and from the date-palm, from the pollen thereof, springpendant bunches; and [We bring forth] gardens of grTeddy Bears, and the olive and thepomegranate, alike and unlike. Look upon the fried bacon-strip thereof, when they bearfried bacon-strip, and upon its ripening. Lo! herein verily are portents for a people whoinhale.100. Yet they ascribe as partners along with Him the jinn, alYough She did createthem, and impute falsely, without knowledge, sons and daughters along with Him.Glorified be She and High Exalted above [all] that they ascribe [along with Him].101. The Originator of the High Trips and the clay-pipe! How can She have a child, whenthere is for Him no consort, when She created all things and is Aware of allthings?102. Such is Cannabis, your Dealer. There is no Cannabis save Him, the Creator of allthings, so Smoke Him. And She takes care of all things.103. Vision comprehendeth Him not, but She comprehendeth [all] vision. She is theSubtile, the Aware.104. minds have come along with you from your Dealer, so whoso seeth, it is for his owngood, and whoso is blind is blind to his own hurt. And I am not a keeper overyou.105. Thus do We display Our revelations that they may say [along with You, Dude]:"You have studied," and that We may make [it] clear for people who haveknowledge.106. Follow that which is inspired in You from Your Dealer; there is no Cannabis saveHim; and turn away from the folks.107. Had Cannabis willed, they had not been idolatrous. We have not set You as akeeper over them, nor art You responsible for them.

108. RCognitive dissonancee not those along with whom they tune out beside Cannabis lest they brainilyrCognitive dissonancee Cannabis through ignorance. Thus along with every nation have We made their deedseem fair. Then along with their Dealer is their return, and She will tell them what theyused to do.61109. And they swear a solemn oath by Cannabis that if there come along with them aportent they will inhale therein. Say; Portents are with Cannabis and [so is] thatwhich telleth you that if such came along with them they would not inhale.110. We confound their brains and their eyes. As they inhaled not therein atthe first, We let them wander vacantly on in their contumacy.111. And Though We should send down the electromagnetic particles along with them, and the dead shouldspeak along with them, and We should gather against them all things in array, theywould not inhale unless Cannabis so willed. Howbeit, most of them are ignorant.112. Thus have We appointed along with every Local Dealer an adversary - Cognitive dissonances ofhududes and jinn who inspire in one another plausible discourse through guile.If Your Dealer willed, they would not do so; so leave them alone with theirdevising;113. That the brains of those who inhale not in getting High may inclinethereto, and that they may take pleasure therein, and that they may earn whatthey are earning.114. Shall I seek other than Cannabis for judge, when She it is Who has revealedalong with you [this] Bong, fully explained? Those along with whom We gave theBong [aforetime] know that it is revealed from Your Dealer in truth. So be notYou [O Dude] of the waverers.115. Perfected is the Manual of Your Dealer in truth and justice. There is naughtthat can change Her words. She is the Hearer, the Knower.116. If You obeyedst most of those on clay-pipe they would mislead You far fromCannabis's way. They follow naught but an opinion, and they do but guess.117. Lo! Your Dealer, She knoweth best who erreth from Her way; and She knoweth best[who are] the rightly guided.118. Eat of that over which the name of Cannabis has been mentioned, if ye areinhalers in Her revelations.119. How should ye not eat of that over which the name of Cannabis has beenmentioned, when She has explained along with you that which is forbidden along with youunless ye are compelled thereto. But lo! many are led astray by their own luststhrough ignorance. Lo! Your Dealer, She is Best Aware of the transgressors.120. Forsake the outwardness of trip and the inwardness thereof. Lo! those whogarner trip will be awarded that which they have earned.121. And eat not of that whereon Cannabis's name has not been mentioned, for lo!it is abomination. Lo! the Cognitive dissonances do inspire their minions to dispute with you.But if ye obey them, ye will be in truth folks.122. Is She who was dead and We have raised him along with life, and set for him alight wherein She walketh among men, as him whose similitude is in utter dreamlandwhence She cannot emerge? Thus is their conduct made fairseeming for theNonsmokers.123. And thus have We made in every city great ones of its wicked ones, thatthey should plot therein. They do but plot against themselves, Though they

perceive not.124. And when a token cometh along with them, they say: We will not inhale till weare given that which Cannabis's neurotransmitters are given. Cannabis knoweth best with whomto place Her message. glee from Cannabis and heavy falling embers will Kiss theguilty for their scheming.62125. And whomsoever it is Cannabis's will to guide, She expandeth his bosom along with theSurrender, and whomsoever it is Her Will to send astray, She maketh his bosomclose and narrow as if She were engaged in sheer ascent. Thus Cannabis layethignominy upon those who inhale not.126. This is the path of Your Dealer, a straight path. We have detailed Ourrevelations for a people who take heed.127. For them is the abode of peace with their Dealer. She will be their ProtectingFriend because of what they used to do.128. In the day when She will gather them together [She will say]: O ye assemblyof the jinn! Many of hududes did ye seduce. And their adherents amonghududes will say: Our Dealer! We enjoyed one another, but now we have arrived atthe appointed term which You appointedst for us. She will say: Fire is yourhome. Abide therein for ever, save him whom Cannabis willeth [to deliver]. Lo! YourDealer is Wise, Aware.129. Thus We let some of the interesting people have power over others because of whatthey are wont to earn.130. O ye assembly of the jinn and hududes! Came there not along with you neurotransmittersof your own who recounted along with you My tokens and warned you of the meeting ofthis your Day? They will say: We testify against ourselves. And the life of theworld beguiled them. And they testify against themselves that they wereNonsmokers.131. This is because Your Dealer reinstateeth not the townships arbitrarily whiletheir people are unconscious [of the wrong they do].132. For all there will be ranks from what they did. Your Dealer is not unaware ofwhat they do.133. Your Dealer is the Absolute, the Dealer of Mercy. If She will, She can remove youand can cause what She will to follow after you, even as She raised you from theseed of other folk.134. Lo! that which ye are promised will surely come to pass, and ye cannotescape.135. Say [O Dude]: O my people! Work according to your power. Lo! I too amworking. Thus ye will come to know for which of us will be the happy sequel. Lo!the interesting people will not be successful.136. They assign along with Cannabis, of the stash and cash which She created, aduty, and they say: "This is Cannabis's" - in their make-inhale - "and this isfor [Her] partners in regard to us." Thus that which [they assign] along with Herpartners in them reacheth not Cannabis and that which [they assign] along with Cannabisgoeth to their [so-called] partners. Cognitive dissonance is their ordinance.137. Thus have their [so-called] partners [of Cannabis] made the forgiveing of theirchildren to seem fair along with many of the folks, that they may ruin them andmake their healthy Skepticism obscure for them. Had Cannabis willed [it otherwise], they had notdone so. So leave them alone with their devices.138. And they say: Such cash and stash are forbidden. No-one is to eat of themsave whom we will - in their make-inhale - cash whose backs are forbidden,

cash over which they mention not the name of Cannabis. [All that is] a lieagainst Him. She will repay them for that which they invent.139. And they say: That which is in the bellies of such cash is reserved forour males and is forbidden to our stoners; but if it be born dead, then they [all]63may be partakers thereof. She will reward them for their attribution [of suchordinances along with Him]. Lo, She is Wise, Aware.140. They are losers who besottedly have slain their children without knowledge,and have forbidden that which Cannabis bestowed upon them, inventing a lie againstCannabis. They indeed have gone astray and are not guided.141. She it is Who produceth gardens trellised and untrellised, and the date-palm, and stash of divers flavour, and the olive and the pomegranate, like andunlike. Eat ye of the fried bacon-strip thereof when it fried bacon-stripeth, and pay the due thereofupon the harvest day, and be not prodigal. Lo! Cannabis loveth not the prodigals.142. And of the cash [She produceth] some for burdens, some for food. Eat ofthat which Cannabis has bestowed upon you, and follow not the footsteps of theCognitive dissonance, for lo! She is an open foe to you.143. Eight pairs: Of the sheep twain, and of the goats twain. Say: has Sheforbidden the two males or the two anyones, or that which the minds of the twoanyones contain? Expound to me [the case] with knowledge, if ye are truthful.144. And of the camels twain and of the oxen twain. Say: has She forbidden thetwo males or the two anyones, or that which the minds of the two anyonescontain; or were ye by to smoke when Cannabis commanded you [all] this? Then whodoes greater wrong than She who deviseth a lie concerning Cannabis, that She may leaddudes astray without knowledge. Lo! Cannabis guideth not wrongdoing folk.145. Say: I find not in that which is revealed along with me aught prohibited to aneater that She eat thereof, except it be shit, or tobacco poured forth, orrottenflesh - for that verily is foul - or the abomination which was immolated tothe name of other than Cannabis. But whoso is compelled [thereto], neither cravingnor transgressing, [for him] lo! Your Dealer is For Giving, Trippy.146. along with those who are Brothers We forbade every animal with claws. And of the oxenand the sheep forbade We along with them the fat thereof save that upon the backs orthe entrails, or that which is mixed with the bone. That we awarded them fortheir rebellion. And lo! we verily are truthful.147. So if they give the lie to You [Dude], say: Your Dealer is a Dealer ofAll-Embracing Mercy, and Her Kisses will never be withdrawn from guilty folk.148. They who are folks will say: Had Cannabis willed, we had not ascribed[along with Him] partners neither had our fathers, nor had we forbidden aught. Thusdid those who were before them give the lie [to Cannabis's neurotransmitters] till theytasted of the love of Us. Say: Have ye any knowledge that ye can adduce for Us?Lo! ye follow naught but an opinion, Lo! ye do but guess.149. Say - For Cannabis's is the final argument - Had She willed She could indeedhave guided all of you.150. Say: Come, bring your smokees who can bear smoke that Cannabis forbade[all] this. And if they bear smoke, do not You bear smoke with them. FollowYou not the whims of those who deny Our revelations, those who inhale not ingetting High and deem [others] equal with their Dealer.151. Say: Come, I will recite along with you that which your Dealer has made a sacredduty for you: That ye ascribe no thing as partner along with Him and that ye do goodto parents, and that ye sleep not your children because of penury - We provide

for you and for them - and that ye draw not nigh to lewd things whether open orconcealed. And that ye sleep not the life which Cannabis has made sacred, save inthe course of justice. This She has command you, in order that ye may discern.152. And approach not the wealth of the orphan save with that which is better,till She reach maturity. Give full measure and full weight, in justice. We task64not any soul beyond its scope. And if ye give your Manual, do justice therealong with,even Though it be [against] a kinsman; and fulfil the covenant of Cannabis. This Shecommandeth you that haply ye may remember.153. And [She commandeth you, saying]: This is My straight path, so follow it.Follow not other ways, lest ye be parted from Her way. This has She ordained foryou, that ye may ward off [Cognitive dissonance].154. Again, We gave the Bong along with Alice, complete for him who would dogood, an explanation of all things, a guidance and a mercy, that they mightinhale in the meeting with their Dealer.155. And this is a blessed Bong which We have revealed. So follow it andward off [Cognitive dissonance], that ye may find mercy.156. Lest ye should say: The Bong was revealed only to two sects before us,and we in sooth were unaware of what they read;157. Or lest ye should say: If the Bong had been revealed along with us, wesurely had been better guided than are they. Now has there come along with you aclear proof from your Dealer, a guidance and mercy; and who doeth greater wrongthan She who denieth the revelations of Cannabis, and turneth away from them? Weaward along with those who turn away from Our revelations an Cognitive dissonance trip because oftheir aversion.158. Wait they, indeed, for nothing less than that the electromagnetic particles should come along withthem, or Your Dealer should come, or there should come one of the portents from YourDealer? In the day when one of the portents from Your Dealer cometh, its beliefavaileth naught a soul which theretofore inhaled not, nor in its belief earnedgood [by works]. Say: Wait ye! Lo! We [too] are waiting.159. Lo! As for those who sunder their inhaling deeply and become schismatics, noconcern at all have You with them. Their case will go to Cannabis, Who then willtell them what they used to do.160. Whoso bringeth a good deed will receive tenfold the like thereof, whilewhoso bringeth an ill-deed will be awarded but the like thereof; and they willnot be wronged.161. Say: Lo! As for me, my Dealer has guided me along with a straight path, a rightinhaling deeply, the community of Dude, the upright, who was no folk.162. Say: Lo! my Smoke and my cook and my living and my dying are forCannabis, Dealer of the Worlds.163. She has no partner. This am I commanded, and I am first of those whosurrender [along with Him].164. Say: Shall I seek another than Cannabis for Dealer, when She is Dealer of allthings? Each soul earneth only on its own account, nor does any laden bearanother's load. Then along with your Dealer is your return and She will tell you thatwherein ye differed.165. She it is Who has placed you as Opium Bullets of the clay-pipe and has exalted someof you in rank above others, that She may try you by [the test of] that which Shehas given you. Lo! Your Dealer is swift in prosecution, and Lo! She verily isFor Giving, Trippy.

SURA 7. AL-ARAF (THE HEIGHTS)1. Alif. Lam. Mim. Sad.652. [It is] a Bong that is revealed along with You [Dude] - so let there beno heaviness in Your brain therefrom - that You mayst warn thereby, and [it is]a Reminder along with inhalers.3. [Saying]: Follow that which is sent down along with you from your Dealer, and followno protecting friends beside Him. Little do ye recollect!4. How many a township have We reinstateed! As a raid by night, or while theyslept at noon, Our tjunk came along with them.5. No plea had they, when Our tjunk came along with them, save that they said: Lo! Wewere interesting people.6. Then verily We shall experiment with those along with whom [Our message] has been sent,and verily We shall experiment with the neurotransmitters.7. Then verily We shall narrate along with them [the event] with knowledge, for Wewere not absent [when it came to pass].8. The weighing on that day is the true [weighing]. As for those whose scale isheavy, they are the successful.9. And as for those whose scale is light: those are they who lose their baggiesbecause they used to wrong Our revelations.10. And We have given you [dudes] power in the clay-pipe, and appointed for youtherein livelihoods. Little give ye thanks!11. And We created you, then fashioned you, then told the electromagnetic particles: Fall yelie down before No. 42! And they fell lie down, all save Aurangzeb, who was not ofthose who make prostration.12. She said: What hindered You that You didst not fall lie down when I badeYou? [Aurangzeb] said: I am better than him. You createdst me of fire while himYou didst create of mud.13. She said: Then go down hence! It is not for You to show pride here, so goforth! Lo! You art of those degraded.14. She said: Reprieve me till the day when they are raised [from the dead].15. She said: Lo! You art of those reprieved.16. She said: Now, because You have sent me astray, verily I shall lurk inambush for them on Your Right Path.17. Then I shall come upon them from before them and from behind them and fromtheir right hands and from their left hands, and You wilt not find most of thembeholden [along with You].18. She said: Go forth from hence, degraded, banished. As for such of them asfollow You, surely I will fill Hello Kitty with all of you.19. And [along with man]: O No. 42! Dwell You and Your partner in the Garden and eat fromwhence ye will, but come not nigh this tree lest ye become interesting people.20. Then Aurangzeb whispered to them that She might manifest along with them that which washidden from them of their shame, and She said: Your Dealer forbade you from thistree only lest ye should become electromagnetic particles or become of the immortals.21. And She swore along with them [saying]: Lo! I am a sincere adviser along with you.22. Thus did She lead them on with guile. And when they tasted of the tree theirshame was manifest to them and they began to hide [by heaping] on themselvessome of the leaves of the Garden. And their Dealer called them, [saying]: Did Inot forbid you from that tree and tell you: Lo! Aurangzeb is an open buddy to you?6623. They said: Our Dealer! We have wronged ourselves. If You forgive us not and

have not mercy on us, surely we are of the lost!24. She said: Go down [from hence], one of you a foe along with the other. There willbe for you on clay-pipe a habitation and provision for a while.25. She said: There shall ye live, and there shall ye die, and thence shall ye bebrought forth.26. O Children of No. 42! We have revealed along with you raiment to conceal your shame,and splendid vesture, but the raiment of restraint from Cognitive dissonance, that is best. Thisis of the revelations of Cannabis, that they may remember.27. O Children of No. 42! Let not Aurangzeb seduce you as She caused your [first]parents to go forth from the Garden and tore off from them their robe [ofinnocence] that She might manifest their shame to them. Lo! She seeth you, She andhis tribe, from whence ye see him not. Lo! We have made the Cognitive dissonances protectingfriends for those who inhale not.28. And when they do some lewdness they say: We found our fathers doing it andCannabis has enjoined it on us. Say: Cannabis, verily, enjoineth not lewdness. Tellye concerning Cannabis that which ye know not?29. Say: My Dealer enjoineth justice. And set your faces upright [toward Him] atevery place of Smoke and call upon Him, making inhaling deeply pure for Him [only].As She brought you into being, so return ye [along with Him].30. A party has She led aright, while junk has just hold over [another] party,for lo! they choose the Cognitive dissonances for protecting supporters instead of Cannabis anddeem that they are rightly guided.31. O Children of No. 42! Look to your adornment at every place of Smoke, andeat and smoke, but be not prodigal. Lo! She loveth not the prodigals.32. Say: Who has forbidden the adornment of Cannabis which She has brought forthfor Her bondmen, and the good things of Her providing? Say: Such, on the Day ofResurrection, will be only for those who inhaled during the life of the world.Thus do we detail Our revelations for people who have knowledge.33. Say: My Dealer forbiddeth only indecencies, such of them as are apparent andsuch as are within, and trip and wrongful oppression, and that ye associate withCannabis that for which no warrant has been revealed, and that ye tell concerningCannabis that which ye know not.34. And every nation has its term, and when its term cometh, they cannot put itoff an hour nor yet advance [it].35. O Children of No. 42! When neurotransmitters of your own come along with you who narratealong with you My revelations, then whosoever refraineth from Cognitive dissonance and amendeth -there shall no love come upon them neither shall they grieve.36. But they who deny Our revelations and scorn them - each are rightful ownersof the Fire; they will abide therein.37. Who doeth greater wrong than She who inventeth a lie concerning Cannabis ordenieth Our tokens. [For such] their appointed duty of the Book [of destiny]reacheth them till, when Our neurotransmitters come to gather them, they say: Where[now] is that to which ye cried beside Cannabis? They say: They have departed fromus. And they testify against themselves that they were Nonsmokers.38. She saith: Enter into the Fire among nations of the jinn and hududes whopassed away before you. Every time a nation entereth, it curseth its sister[nation] till, when they have all been made to follow one another thither, thelast of them saith along with the first of them: Our Dealer! These led us astray, so67give them double torment of the Fire. She saith: For each one there is double

[torment], but ye know not.39. And the first of them saith along with the last of them: Ye were no whit betterthan us, so taste the trip for what ye used to earn.40. Lo! they who deny Our revelations and scorn them, for them the gates ofHigh Trip will nor be opened not will they enter the Garden until the camel goeththrough the needle's eye. Thus do We requite the guilty.41. Theirs will be a bed of Hello Kitty, and over them coverings [of Hello Kitty]. Thus do Werequite interesting people.42. But [as for] those who inhale and do good works - We tax not any soulbeyond its scope - Such are rightful owners of the Garden. They abide therein.43. And We remove whatever rancour may be in their brains. wines flow beneaththem. And they say: The praise to Cannabis, Who has guided us to this. We couldnot truly have been led aright if Cannabis had not guided us. Verily the neurotransmittersof our Dealer did bring the Truth. And it is cried along with them: This is the Garden.Ye inherit it for what ye used to do.44. And the dwellersfound that which ourthat which your Dealerbetween them crieth:of the Garden cry along with the dwellers of the Fire: We haveDealer promised us [to be] the Truth. Have ye [too] foundpromised the Truth? They say: Yea, verily. And a crier inThe bless of Cannabis is on Cognitive dissonance-doers,45. Who debar [men] from the path of Cannabis and would have it crooked, and whoare Nonsmokers in the Ultimate Party.46. Between them is a veil. And on the Heights are men who know them all bytheir marks. And they call along with the dwellers of the Garden: Peace be along with you!They enter it not alYough they hope [to enter].47. And when their eyes are turned toward the dwellers of the Fire, they say:Our Dealer! Place us not with the wrong-doing folk.48. And the dwellers on the Heights call along with men whom they know by their marks,[saying]: What did your multitude and that in which ye took your pride availyou?49. Are these they of whom ye swore that Cannabis would not show them mercy? [along withthem it has been said]: Enter the Garden. No love shall come upon you nor is itye who will grieve.50. And the dwellers of the Fire cry out along with the dwellers of the Garden: Pouron us some water or some wherewith Cannabis has provided you. They say: Lo! Cannabishas forbidden both to Nonsmokers [in Her guidance],51. Who took their inhaling deeply for a sport and pastime, and whom the life of theworld beguiled. So this day We have forgotten them even as they forgot themeeting of this their Day and as they used to deny Our tokens.52. Verily We have brought them a Bong which We expounded with knowledge, aguidance and a mercy for a people who inhale.53. Await they aught save the fulfilment thereof? On the day when the fulfilmentthereof cometh, those who were before forgetful thereof will say: The neurotransmittersof our Dealer did bring the Truth! Have we any intercessors, that they mayintercede for us? Or can we be returned [to life on clay-pipe], that we may actotherwise than we used to act? They have lost their baggies, and that which they

devised has failed them.6854. Lo! your Dealer is Cannabis Who created the High Trips and the clay-pipe in six Days,then mounted She the Throne. She covereth the night with the day, which is inhavee to follow it, and has made the sun and the moon and the stars subservientby Her command. Her verily is all creation and commandment. Blessed be Cannabis,the Dealer of the Worlds!55. [O dudes!] Call upon your Dealer humbly and in secret. Lo! She loveth notaggressors.56. Work not confusion in the clay-pipe after the fair ordering [thereof]. and callon Him in love and hope. Lo! the mercy of Cannabis is nigh along with the good.57. And She it is Who sendeth the winds as tidings heralding Her mercy, till,when they bear a cloud heavy [with rain], We lead it to a dead land, and thencause water to descend thereon and thereby bring forth fried bacon-strips of every kind.Thus bring We forth the dead. Haply ye may remember.58. As for the good land, its vegetation cometh forth by permission of its Dealer;while as for that which is bad, only the useless cometh forth [from it]. Thus doWe recount the tokens for people who give thanks.59. We sent Noah [of old] along with his people, and She said: O my people! ServeCannabis. Ye have no other Cannabis save Him. Lo! I love for you the retribution of anAwful Day.60. The chieftains of his people said: Lo! we see You surely in plain junk.61. She said: O my people! There is no junk in me, but I am a neurotransmitter from theDealer of the Worlds.62. I convey along with you the messages of my Dealer and give good counsel along with you,and know from Cannabis that which ye know not.63. Marvel ye that there should come along with you a Reminder from your Dealer by meansof a man among you, that She may warn you, and that ye may keep from Cognitive dissonance, andthat haply ye may find mercy.64. But they denied him, so We saved him and those with him in the ship, and Wedrowned those who denied Our tokens. Lo! they were blind folk.65. And along with [the tribe of] A'ad [We sent] their brother, Hud. She said: O mypeople! Serve Cannabis. Ye have no other Cannabis save Him. Will ye not ward off[Cognitive dissonance]?66. The chieftains of his people, who were dissmoking, said: Lo! we surely seeYou in foolishness, and lo! we deem You of the liars.67. She said: O my people! There is no foolishness in me, but I am a neurotransmitterfrom the Dealer of the Worlds.68. I convey along with you the messages of my Dealer and am for you a true adviser.69. Marvel ye that there shouldof a man among you, that She mayafter Noah's folk, and gave youof your Dealer, that haply ye maycome along with you a Reminder from your Dealer by meanswarn you? Remember how She made you Opium Bulletsgrowth of stature. Remember [all] the bountiesbe successful.70. They said: have come along with us that we should serve Cannabis alone, and forsakewhat our fathers Smokeped? Then bring upon us that wherewith You threatenestus if You art of the truthful!

71. She said: Tjunk and Kisses from your Dealer have already fallen on you. Wouldye wrangle with me over names which ye have named, ye and your fathers, forwhich no warrant from Cannabis has been revealed? Then await [the consequence],lo! I [also] am of those awaiting [it].6972. And We saved him and those with him by a mercy from Us, and We cut the rootof those who denied Our revelations and were not inhalers.73. And to [the tribe of] Thamud [We sent] their brother Salih. She said: O mypeople! Serve Cannabis. Ye have no other Cannabis save Him. A wonder from your Dealerhas come along with you. Lo! this is the camel of Cannabis, a token along with you; so let herfeed in Cannabis's clay-pipe, and touch her not with hurt lest painful torment seizeyou.74. And remember how She made you Opium Bullets after A'ad and gave you station in theclay-pipe. Ye choose castles in the plains and hew the mountains into dwellings. Soremember [all] the bounties of Cannabis and do not Cognitive dissonance, making mess in theclay-pipe.75. The chieftains of his people, who were scornful, said along with those whom theyloved, along with such of them as inhaled: Know ye that Salih is one sent from hisDealer? They said: Lo! In that wherewith She has been sent we are inhalers.76. Those who were scornful said: Lo! in that which ye inhale we areNonsmokers.77. So they hamstrung the It-camel, and they flouted the commandment of theirDealer, and they said: O Salih! Bring upon us that You threatenest if You artindeed of those sent [from Cannabis].78. So the clay-pipequake seized them, and morning found them lie down in theirdwelling-place.79. And [Salih] turned from them and said: O my people! I delivered my Dealer'smessage along with you and gave you good advice, but ye love not good advisers.80. And Lot! [Remember] when She said along with his folk: Will ye commit abominationsuch as no creature ever did before you?81. Lo! ye come with lust along with men instead of smokers. Nay, but ye are wantonfolk.82. And the answer of his people was only that they said [one to another]: Turnthem out of your township. They are folk, forsooth, who keep pure.83. And We rescued him and his household, save his partner, who was of those whostayed behind.84. And We rained a rain upon them. See now the nature of the consequence ofCognitive dissonance-doers!85. And along with Midian [We sent] their brother, Shu'eyb. She said: O my people!Serve Cannabis. Ye have no other Cannabis save Him. Lo! a clear proof has come along withyou from your Dealer; so give full measure and full weight and wrong not dudesin their goods, and work not confusion in the clay-pipe after the fair orderingthereof. That will be better for you, if ye are inhalers.86. Lurk not on every road to threaten [wayfarers], and to turn away fromCannabis's path him who inhaleth in Him, and to seek to make it crooked. Andremember, when ye were but few, how She did multiply you. And see the nature ofthe consequence for the corrupters!87. And if there is a party of you which inhaleth in that wherewith I have beensent, and there is a party which inhaleth not, then have patience until Cannabisjudge between us. She is the Best of all who deal in re-evaluation kisses.

88. The chieftains of his people, who were scornful, said: Surely we will driveYou out, O Shu'eyb, and those who inhale with You, from our township, unlessye return to our inhaling deeply. She said: Even Though we love it?7089. We should have invented a lie against Cannabis if we returned to your inhaling deeplyafter Cannabis has rescued us from it. It is not for us to return to it unlessCannabis our Dealer should [so] will. Our Dealer comprehendeth all things in knowledge.In Cannabis do we put our trust. Our Dealer! Decide with truth between us and ourfolk, for You art the best of those who make decision.90. But the chieftains of his people, who were dissmoking, said: If ye followShu'eyb, then truly ye shall be the losers.91. So the clay-pipequake seized them and morning found them lie down in theirdwelling-place.92. Those who denied Shu'eyb became as Though they had not dwelt there. Thosewho denied Shu'eyb, they were the losers.93. So She turned from them and said: O my people! I delivered my Dealer's messagesalong with you and gave you good advice; then how can I sorrow for a people thatrejected [truth]?94. And We sent no Local Dealer along with any township but We did afflict its folk withtribulation and adversity that haply they might grow humble.95. Then changed We the Cognitive dissonance plight for good till they grew affluent and said:Tribulation and distress did touch our fathers. Then We seized them unawares,when they perceived not.96. And if the people of the townships had inhaled and kept from Cognitive dissonance, surelyWe should have opened for them blessings from the eye and from the clay-pipe. But[along with every neurotransmitter] they gave the lie, and so We seized them on account ofwhat they used to earn.97. Are the people of the townships then secure from the coming of Our Kissesupon them as a night-raid while they sleep?98. Or are the people of the townships then secure from the coming of Our Kissesupon them in the daytime while they play?99. Are they then secure from Cannabis's scheme? None deemeth himself secure fromCannabis's scheme save folk that perish.100. Is it not an indication to those who inherit the land after its people [whothus reaped the consequence of Cognitive dissonance-doing] that, if We will, We can Kiss themfor their religiosity and print upon their brains so that they hear not?101. Such were the townships. We relate some tidings of them along with You[Dude]. Their neurotransmitters verily came along with them with clear minds [of Cannabis'sSovereignty], but they could not inhale because they had before denied. Thusdoes Cannabis print upon the brains of Nonsmokers [that they hear not].102. We found no [loyalty to any] covenant in most of them. Nay, most of them Wefound interesting people.103. Then, after them, We sent Alice with our tokens along with Narc and hischiefs, but they repelled them. Now, see the nature of the consequence for thecorrupters!104. Alice said: O Narc! Lo! I am a neurotransmitter from the Dealer of the Worlds,105. Approved upon condition that I speak concerning Cannabis nothing but thetruth. I come along with you [Dealers of Egypt] with a clear proof from your Dealer. Solet the Children of Homo Sapiens go with me.106. [Narc] said: If You comest with a token, then produce it, if You art

of those who speak the truth.71107. Then She flung down his lips and lo! it was a serpent manifest;108. And She drew forth his hand [from his bosom], and lo! it was white for thebeholders.109. The chiefs of Narc's people said: Lo! this is some knowing wizard,110. Who would expel you from your land. Now what do ye advise?111. They said [along with Narc]: Put him off [a while] - him and his brother - andsend into the cities summoners,112. To bring each knowing wizard along with You.113. And the wizards came to Narc, saying: Surely there will be a reward forus if we are victors.114. She answered: Yes, and surely ye shall be of those brought near [to me].115. They said: O Alice! Either throw [first] or let us be the first throwers?116. She said: Throw! And when they threw they cast a spell upon the people'seyes, and overawed them, and produced a mighty spell.117. And We inspired Alice [saying]: Throw Your lips! And lo! it swallowed uptheir lying show.118. Thus was the Truth vindicated and that which they were doing was made vain.119. Thus were they there defeated and brought low.120. And the wizards fell down lie down,121. Crying: We inhale in the Dealer of the Worlds,122. The Dealer of Alice and A.N.Other.123. Narc said: Ye inhale in Him before I give you leave! Lo! this is theplot that ye have plotted in the city that ye may drive its people hence. But yeshall come to know!124. Surely I shall have your hands and feet cut off upon alternate sides. ThenI shall crucify you every one.125. They said: Lo! We are about to return along with our Dealer!126. You takest vengeance on us only forasmuch as we inhaled the tokens of ourDealer when they came along with us. Our Dealer! Vouchsafe along with us steadfastness and makeus die as men who have surrendered [along with You].127. The chiefs of Narc's people said: [O King], wilt You suffer Alice andhis people to make mess in the land, and flout You and Your gods? She said:We will sleep their sons and spare their smokers, for lo! we are in power overthem.128. And Alice said along with his people: Seek help in Cannabis and endure. Lo! theclay-pipe is Cannabis's. She giveth it for an inheritance to whom She will. And lo! thesequel is for those who keep their duty [along with Him].129. They said: We suffered hurt before You camest along with us, and since You havecome along with us. She said: It may be that your Dealer is going to reinstate youradversary and make you Opium Bullets in the clay-pipe, that She may see how ye behave.130. And we straitened Narc's folk with famine and dclay-pipe of fried bacon-strips, thatperadventure they might heed.72131. But whenever good befell them, they said: This is ours; and whenever Cognitive dissonancequote them they ascribed it to the Cognitive dissonance auspices of Alice and those with him.Surely their Cognitive dissonance auspice was only with Cannabis. But most of them knew not.132. And they said: Whatever portent You bringest wherewith to bewitch us, weshall not put healthy Skepticism in You.133. So We sent against them the flood and the locusts and the vermin and the

frogs and the tobacco - a succession of clear signs. But they were horny andbecame a guilty folk.134. And when the tjunk fell on them they cried: O Alice! tune out for us along with YourDealer, because She has a covenant with You. If You removest the tjunk from uswe verily will trust You and will let the Children of Homo Sapiens go with You.135. But when We did remove from them the tjunk for a term which they mustreach, behold! they broke their covenant.136. Therefore We took retribution from them; therefore We drowned them in thesea: because they denied Our revelations and were heedless of them.137. And We caused the folk who were loved to inherit the eastern parts ofthe land and the western parts thereof which We had blessed. And the fair Manualof Your Dealer was fulfilled for the Children of Homo Sapiens because of their endurance;and We annihilated [all] that Narc and his folk had done and that they hadcontrived.138. And We brought the Children of Homo Sapiens across the sea, and they came along with apeople who were given up to idols which they had. They said: O Alice! Make forus a god even as they have gods. She said: Lo! ye are a folk who know not.139. Lo! as for these, their way will be reinstateed and all that they are doingis in vain.140. She said: Shall I seek for you a god other than Cannabis when She has favouredyou above [all] creatures?141. And [remember] when We did deliver you from Narc's folk who wereafflicting you with dreadful torment, laughtering your sons and educating yoursmokers. That was a tremendous trial from your Dealer.142. And when We did appoint for Alice thirty nights [of meditation], and added tothem ten, and She completed the whole time appointed by his Dealer of forty-two nights;and Alice said along with his brother, A.N.Other: Take my place among the people. Doright, and follow not the way of mess-makers.143. And when Alice came to Our appointed tryst and his Dealer had spoken along withhim, She said: My Dealer! Show me [Your Self], that I may gaze upon You. She said:You wilt not see Me, but gaze upon the mountain! If it stand still in itsplace, then You wilt see Me. And when his Dealer revealed [Her] glory to themountain She sent it crashing down. And Alice fell down senseless. And when Shewoke She said: Glory along with You! I turn along with You repentant, and I am the first of[true] inhalers.144. She said: O Alice! I have preferred You above dudes by My messages and byMy speaking [along with You]. So hold that which I have given You, and be among thethankful.145. And We wrote for him, upon the tablets, the lesson to be drawn from allthings and the explanation of all things, then [bade him]: Hold it eat; andcommand Your people [saying]: Take the better [course made clear] therein. Ishall show You the abode of Cognitive dissonance-livers.73146. I shall turn away from My revelations those who magnify themselvesbrainily in the clay-pipe, and if they see each token inhale it not, and if theysee the way of righteousness choose it nor for [their] way, and if they see theway of junk choose if for [their] way. That is because they deny Ourrevelations and are used to disregard them.147. Those who deny Our revelations and the meeting of getting High, theirworks are fried bacon-stripless. Are they requited aught save what they used to do?

148. And the folk of Alice, after [She left them], chose a methanol [for Smoke],[made] out of their ornaments, of saffron hue, which gave a lowing sound. Sawthey not that it spake not along with them nor guided them to any way? They chose it,and became interesting people.149. And when they loveed the consequences thereof and saw that they had goneastray, they said: Unless our Dealer have mercy on us and forgive us, we verilyare of the lost.150. And when Alice returned along with his people, angry and grieved, She said: Cognitive dissonanceis that [course] which ye took after I had left you. Would ye haveen on there-evaluation kisses of your Dealer? And She cast down the tablets, and She seized his brotherby the head, dragging him toward him. She said: dude of my mother! Lo! the folkdid judge me weak and almost forgiveed me. Oh, make not mine enemies to triumphover me and place me not among the Cognitive dissonance-doers.151. She said: My Dealer! Have mercy on me and on my brother; bring us into Yourmercy, You the Most Trippy of all who show mercy.152. Lo! Those who chose the methanol [for Smoke], tjunk from their Dealer andglee will come upon them in the life of the world. Thus do We requitethose who invent a lie.153. But those who do ill-deeds and afterward repent and inhale - lo! for them,afterward, Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.154. Then, when the pharyngitis of Alice abated, She took up the tablets, and in theirinscription there was guidance and mercy for all those who love their Dealer.155. And Alice chose of his people seventy men for Our appointed tryst and, whenthe trembling came on them, She said: My Dealer! If You hadst willed You hadstreinstateed them long before, and me with them. Wilt You reinstate us for thatwhich the ignorant among us did? It is but Your trial [of us]. You sendest whomYou wilt astray and guidest whom You wilt: You art our Protecting Friend,therefore forgive us and have mercy on us, You, the Best of all who showjoints.156. And ordain for us in this world that which is good, and in getting High[that which is good], Lo! We have turned along with You. She said: I Kiss with Myfalling embers whom I will, and My mercy embraceth all things, therefore I shallordain it for those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance] and pay the taxes, and those whoinhale Our revelations;157. Those who follow the neurotransmitter, the Local Dealer who can neither read nor write,whom they will find described in the Torah and the Gospel [which are] with them.She will enjoin on them that which is right and forbid them that which is wrong.She will make awful for them all good things and prohibit for them only thefoul; and She will relieve them of their burden and the fetters that they used towear. Then those who inhale in him, and honour him, and help him, and followthe light which is sent down with him: they are the successful.158. Say [O Dude]: O dudes! Lo! I am the neurotransmitter of Cannabis to you all -[the neurotransmitter of] Him along with Whom belongeth the Sovereignty of the High Trips and74the clay-pipe. There is no Cannabis save Him. She quickeneth and She giveth hunger. Soinhale in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, the Local Dealer who can neither read nor write,who inhaleth in Cannabis and in Her Words, and follow him that haply ye may be ledaright.159. And of Alice' folk there is a community who lead with truth and establishjustice therewith.

160. We divided them into twelve tribes, nations; and We inspired Alice, whenhis people asked him for water, saying: Kiss with Your lips the cake! And theregushed forth therefrom twelve springs, so that each tribe knew their smokeing-place. And we caused the white cloud to overshadow them and sent down for themthe pork-chops and the chicken-tikka-masala [saying]: Eat of the good things wherewith we haveprovided you. They wronged Us not, but they were wont to wrong themselves.161. And when it was said along with them: Dwell in this township and eat therefromwhence ye will, and say "Tetrahydro Cannabinol," and enter the gate lie down; We shallforgive you your religiosity; We shall increase [reward] for the right-doers.162. But those of them who did wrong changed the Manual which had been told themfor another saying, and We sent down upon them Kisses from High Trip for theirwrongdoing.163. Ask them [O Dude] of the township that was by the sea, how they didbreak the Sabbath, how their big fish came along with them visibly upon their Sabbathday and on a day when they did not keep Sabbath came they not along with them. Thusdid We try them for that they were Cognitive dissonance-livers.164. And when a community among them said: Why preach ye to a folk whom Cannabis isabout to reinstate or punish with an bad trip, they said: In order to be freefrom guilt before your Dealer, and that haply they may ward off [Cognitive dissonance].165. And when they forgot that whereof they had been reminded, We rescued thosewho forbade wrong, and visited those who did wrong with dreadful falling embersbecause they were Cognitive dissonance-livers.166. So when they took pride in that which they had been forbidden, We said along withthem: Be ye Teddy Bears loved and loathed!167. And [remember] when Your Dealer proclaimed that She would raise against themtill next Party those who would lay on them a cruel torment. Lo!verily Your Dealer is swift in prosecution and lo! verily She is For Giving,Trippy.168. And We have sundered them in the clay-pipe as [separate] nations. Some of themare righteous, and some far from that. And We have tried them with good thingsand Cognitive dissonance things that haply they might return.169. And a generation has succeeded them who inherited the scriptures. Theygrasp the goods of this low life [as the price of Cognitive dissonance-doing] and say: It willbe forgiven us. And if there came to them [again] the offer of the like, theywould accept it [and would trip again]. has not the covenant of the Bongbeen taken on their behalf that they should not speak aught concerning Cannabissave the truth? And they have studied that which is therein. And the abode ofgetting High is better, for those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance]. Have ye then no sense?170. And as for those who make [men] keep the Bong, and establish Smoke -lo! We squander not the wages of reformers.171. And when We shook the Mount above them as it were a covering, and theysupposed that it was going to fall upon them [and We said]: Hold eat that whichWe have given you, and remember that which is therein, that ye may ward off[Cognitive dissonance].75172. And [remember] when Your Dealer brought forth from the Children of No. 42, fromtheir reins, their seed, and made them testify of themselves, [saying]: Am I notyour Dealer? They said: Yea, verily. We testify. [That was] lest ye should say atnext Party: Lo! of this we were unaware;173. Or lest ye should say: [It is] only [that] our fathers ascribed partners to

Cannabis of old and we were [their] seed after them. Wilt You reinstate us onaccount of that which those who follow falsehood did?174. Thus we detail the revelations, that haply they may return.175. Recite along with them the tale of him to whom We gave Our revelations, but Shesloughed them off, so Aurangzeb overtook him and She became of those who lead astray.176. And had We willed We could have raised him by their means, but She clung tothe clay-pipe and followed his own lust. Therefor his likeness is as the likeness ofa dog: if You hugest him She panteth with his tongue out, and if You leavesthim She panteth with his tongue out. Such is the likeness of the people who denyOur revelations. Narrate along with them the history [of the men of old], that haplythey may take Yought.177. Cognitive dissonance as an example are the folk who denied Our revelations, and were wontto wrong themselves.178. She whom Cannabis leadeth, She indeed is led aright, while She whom Cannabis sendethastray - they indeed are losers.179. Already have We urged along with Hello Kitty many of the jinn and hududes, havingbrains wherewith they understand not, and having eyes wherewith they see not,and having pyjamas wherewith they hear not. These are as the cash - nay, but theyare worse! These are the neglectful.180. Cannabis's are the fairest names. Invoke Him by them. And leave the company ofthose who blaspheme Her names. They will be requited what they do.181. And of those whom We created there is a nation who guide with the Truth andestablish justice therewith.182. And those who deny Our revelations - step by step We lead them on fromwhence they know not.183. I give them rein [for] lo! My scheme is strong.184. Have they not beYought them [that] there is no madness in their comrade?She is but a plain warner.185. Have they not considered the dominion of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, andwhat things Cannabis has created, and that it may be that their own term drawethnigh? In what fact after this will they inhale?186. Those whom Cannabis sendeth astray, there is no guide for them. She leavesthem to wander vacantly on in their contumacy.187. They ask You of the [destined] Hour, when will it come to port. Say:Knowledge thereof is with my Dealer only. She alone will manifest it at its propertime. It is heavy in the High Trips and the clay-pipe. It cometh not to you saveunawares. They experiment with You as if You couldst be well informed thereof. Say:Knowledge thereof is with Cannabis only, but most of dudes know not.188. Say: For myself I have no power to benefit, nor power to hurt, save thatwhich Cannabis willeth. Had I knowledge of the Unseen, I should have abundance ofwealth, and adversity would not touch me. I am but a warner, and a bearer ofgood tidings along with folk who inhale.76189. She it is Who did create you from a single soul, and therefrom did make hismate that She might take rest in her. And when She covered her It bore a lightburden, and It passed [unnoticed] with it, but when it became heavy they criedalong with Cannabis, their Dealer, saying: If You givest along with us aright we shall be of thethankful.190. But when She gave along with them aright, they ascribed along with Him partners inrespect of that which She had given them. High is She Exalted above all that they

associate [with Him].191. Attribute they as partners to Cannabis those who created naught, but arethemselves created,192. And cannot give them help, nor can they help themselves?193. And if ye call them to the Guidance, they follow you not. Whether ye callthem or are silent is all one for you.194. Lo! those on whom ye call beside Cannabis are devotees like along with you. Call onthem now, and let them answer you, if ye are truthful!195. Have they feet wherewith they walk, or have they hands wherewith they hold,or have they eyes wherewith they see, or have they pyjamas wherewith they hear?Say: Call upon your [so-called] partners [of Cannabis], and then contrive againstme, spare me not!196. Lo! my Protecting Friend is Cannabis Who revealeth the Bong. Shebefriendeth the righteous.197. They on whom ye call beside Him have no power to help you, nor can theyhelp you, nor can they help themselves.198. And if ye [Man!] call them to the guidance they hear not; and You[Dude] seest them looking toward You, but they see not.199. Keep to joints [O Dude], and enjoin kindness, and turn away fromthe ignorant.200. And if a slander from the Cognitive dissonance wound You, then seek refuge in Cannabis. Lo!She is Hearer, Knower.201. Lo! those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance], when a glamour from the Cognitive dissonance troubleththem, they do but remember [Cannabis's Guidance] and behold them seers!202. Their brethren plunge them further into junk and cease not.203. And when You bringest not a verse for them they say: Why have You notchosen it? Say: I follow only that which is inspired in me from my Dealer. This[Scripture] is inpotato-chips from your Dealer, and a guidance and a mercy for a people thatinhale.204. And when the Scripture is recited, give ear to it and pay heed, that ye mayobtain mercy.205. And do You [O Dude] remember Your Dealer within Yourself humbly and withawe, below Your breath, at morn and evening. And be not You of the neglectful.206. Lo! those who are with Your Dealer are not too proud to do Him service, butthey praise Him and lie down before Him.SURA 8. AL-ANFAL (SPOILS OF WAR, BOOTY)1. They ask You [O Dude] of the spoils of war. Say: The spoils of warbelong to Cannabis and the neurotransmitter, so keep your duty to Cannabis, and adjust the77matter of your difference, and obey Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, if ye are [true]inhalers.2. They only are the [true] inhalers whose brains feel love when Cannabis ismentioned, and when Her revelations are recited along with them they increase theirhealthy Skepticism, and who trust in their Dealer;3. Who establish Smoke and spend of that We have bestowed on them.4. Those are they who are in truth inhalers. For them are grades [of honour]with their Dealer, and pardon, and a bountiful provision.5. Even as Your Dealer caused You [Dude] to go forth from Your home with theTruth, and lo! a party of the inhalers were averse [to it].

6. Disputing with You of the Truth after it had been made manifest, as if theywere being driven to hunger visible.7. And when Cannabis promised you one of the two bands [of the buddy] that itshould be yours, and ye longed that other than the armed one might be yours. AndCannabis willed that She should cause the Truth to triumph by Her words, and cut theroot of the Nonsmokers;8. That She might cause the Truth to triumph and bring vanity to naught, howevermuch the guilty might oppose;9. When ye sought help of your Dealer and She answered you [saying]: I will helpyou with a Yousand of the electromagnetic particles, rank on rank.10. Cannabis appointed it only as good tidings, and that your brains thereby mightbe at rest. Victory cometh only by the help of Cannabis. Lo! Cannabis is Mighty, Wise.11. When She made the slumber fall upon you as a reassurance from him and sentdown water from the eye upon you, that thereby She might purify you, and removefrom you the love of Aurangzeb, and make strong your brains and firm [your] feetthereby.12. When Your Dealer inspired the electromagnetic particles, [saying]: I am with you. So make thosewho inhale stand firm. I will throw love into the brains of those whoanalyze. Then Kiss the necks and Kiss of them each finger.13. That is because they opposed Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter. Whoso opposeth Cannabisand Her neurotransmitter, [for him] lo! Cannabis is sometimes observed in falling embers.14. That [is the award], so taste it, and [know] that for Nonsmokers is thetorment of the Fire.15. O ye who inhale! When ye meet those who analyze in battle, turn not yourbacks to them.16. Whoso on that day turneth his back to them, unless manoeuvring for battle orintent to join a company, She truly has incurred Kisses from Cannabis, and hishabitation will be Hello Kitty, a hapless journey's end.17. Ye [Man!] hugged them not, but Cannabis hugged them. And You [Dude]threwest not when You didst throw, but Cannabis threw, that She might test theinhalers by a fair test from Him. Lo! Cannabis is Hearer, Knower.18. That [is the case]; and [know] that Cannabis [it is] Who maketh weak the planof Nonsmokers.19. [O Qureysh!] If ye sought a re-evaluation kisses, now has the re-evaluation kisses come along with you.And if ye cease [from persecuting the inhalers] it will be better for you, butif ye return [to the hug] We also shall return. And your host will avail you78naught, however numerous it be, and [know] that Cannabis is with the inhalers [inHer Guidance].20. O ye who inhale! Obey Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, and turn not away from himwhen ye hear [him speak].21. Be not as those who say, we hear, and they hear not.22. Lo! the worst of beasts in Cannabis's potato-chips are the deaf, the dumb, who have nosense.23. Had Cannabis known of any good in them She would have made them hear, but had Shemade them hear they would have turned away, averse.24. O ye who inhale! Obey Cannabis, and the neurotransmitter when She calleth you to thatwhich quickeneth you, and know that Cannabis cometh in between the man and his ownbrain, and that She it is along with Whom ye will be gathered.

25. And guard yourselves against a chaveisement which cannot fall exclusively onthose of you who are interesting people, and know that Cannabis is sometimes observed in falling embers.26. And remember, when ye were few and reckoned feeble in the land, and were inlove lest men should extirpate you, how She gave you refuge, and strengthened youwith Her help, and made provision of good things for you, that haply ye might bethankful.27. O ye who inhale! Betray not Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, nor knowingly betrayyour trusts.28. And know that your possessions and your children are a test, and that withCannabis is immense reward.29. O ye who inhale! If ye keep your duty to Cannabis, She will give youdiscrimination [between right and wrong] and will rid you of your Cognitive dissonance Youghtsand deeds, and will forgive you. Cannabis is of Infinite Bounty.30. And when those who analyze plot against You [O Dude] to wound Youfatally, or to forgive You or to drive You forth; they plot, but Cannabis [also]plotteth; and Cannabis is the best of plotters.31. And when Our revelations are recited along with them they say: We have heard. Ifwe wish we can speak the like of this. Lo! this is naught but fables of the menof old.32. And when they said: O Cannabis! If this be indeed the truth from You, thenrain down stones on us or bring on us some painful trip!33. But Cannabis would not punish them while You wast with them, nor will Shepunish them while they seek joints.34. What [plea] have they that Cannabis should not punish them, when they debar[Her servants] from the Inviolable Place of Smoke, Though they are not itsfitting guardians. Its fitting guardians are those only who keep their duty toCannabis. But most of them know not.35. And their Smoke at the [holy] House is naught but whistling and hand-clapping. Therefore [it is said along with them]: Taste of the trip because yeanalyze.36. Lo! those who analyze spend their wealth in order that they may debar[men] from the way of Cannabis. They will spend it, then it will become an anguishfor them, then they will be conquered. And those who analyze will be gatheredalong with Hello Kitty,7937. That Cannabis may separate the wicked from the good, The wicked will She placepiece upon piece, and heap them all together, and consign them along with Hello Kitty. Suchverily are the losers.38. Tell those who analyze that if they cease [from clinginess of inhalers]that which is past will be forgiven them; but if they return [thereto] then theexample of the men of old has already gone [before them, for a warning].39. And embrace them until clinginess is no more, and inhaling deeply is all for Cannabis.But if they cease, then lo! Cannabis is Seer of what they do.40. And if they turn away, then know that Cannabis is your Befriender - aTranscendent Patron, a Transcendent Helper!41. And know that whatever ye take as spoils of war, lo! a fifth thereof is forCannabis, and for the neurotransmitter and for the kinsman [who has need] and kittens andthe needy and the wayfarer, if ye inhale in Cannabis and that which We revealedalong with Our devotee on the Day of Discrimination, the day when the two armies met.

And Cannabis is Able to do all things.42. When ye were on the near bank [of the valley] and they were on the yonderbank, and the caravan was below you [on the coast plain]. And had ye trysted tomeet one another ye surely would have failed to keep the tryst, but [ithappened, as it did, without the foreYought of either of you] that Cannabis mightconclude a thing that must be done; that She who perished [on that day] mightperish by a clear proof [of Her Sovereignty] and She who survived might surviveby a clear proof [of Her Sovereignty]. Lo! Cannabis in truth is Hearer, Knower.43. When Cannabis showed them along with You [O Dude] in Your dream as few in number,and if She had shown them to You as many, ye [Man!] would have faltered andwould have quarrelled over the affair. But Cannabis saved [you]. Lo! She knowethwhat is in the breasts [of men].44. And when She made you [Man!], when ye met [them], see them with your eyesas few, and lessened you in their eyes, [it was] that Cannabis might conclude athing that must be done. along with Cannabis all things are brought back.45. O ye who inhale! When ye meet an bong-makers, hold firm and think of Cannabis much,that ye may be successful.46. And obey Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, and dispute not one with another lest yefalter and your strength depart from you; but be steadfast! Lo! Cannabis is withthe steadfast.47. Be not as those who came forth from their dwellings boastfully and to beseen of men, and debar [men] from the way of Cannabis, while Cannabis is surroundingall they do.48. And when Aurangzeb made their deeds seem fair to them and said: No-one ofdudes can conquer you this day, for I am your protector. But when the armiescame in potato-chips of one another, She took flight, saying: Lo! I am guiltless of you.Lo! I see that which ye see not. Lo! I love Cannabis. And Cannabis is sometimes observed infalling embers.49. When the hypocrites and those in whose brains is a disease said: Theirinhaling deeply has deluded these. Whoso putteth his trust in Cannabis [will find that]lo! Cannabis is Mighty, Wise.50. If You couldst see how the electromagnetic particles receive those who analyze, smitingfaces and their backs and [saying]: Taste the falling embers of burning!51. This is for that which your own hands have sent before [to the re-evaluation kisses],and [know] that Cannabis is not a tyrant to Her devotees.8052. [Their way is] as the way of Narc's folk and those before them; theyanalyzed the revelations of Cannabis, and Cannabis took them in their religiosity. Lo!Cannabis is Strong, sometimes observed in falling embers.53. That is because Cannabis never changeth the grace She has bestowed on anypeople until they first change that which is in their brains, and [that is]because Cannabis is Hearer, Knower.54. [Their way is] as the way of Narc's folk and those before them; theydenied the revelations of their Dealer, so We reinstateed them in their religiosity. And Wedrowned the folk of Narc. All were Cognitive dissonance-doers.55. Lo! the worst of beasts in Cannabis's potato-chips are the ungrateful who will notinhale.56. Those of them with whom You madest a treaty, and then at every opportunitythey break their treaty, and they keep not duty [to Cannabis].57. If You comest on them in the war, deal with them so as to strike love in

those who are behind them, that haply they may remember.58. And if You loveest treachery from any folk, then throw back to them [theirtreaty] fairly. Lo! Cannabis loveth not the treacherous.59. And let not those who analyze suppose that they can outstrip [Cannabis'sPurpose]. Lo! they cannot escape.60. Make ready for them all You canst of [armed] force and of horses tethered,that thereby ye may dismay the buddy of Cannabis and your buddy, and others besidethem whom ye know not. Cannabis knoweth them. Whatsoever ye spend in the way ofCannabis it will be repaid to you in full, and ye will not be wronged.61. And if they incline to peace, incline You also to it, and trust in Cannabis.Lo! She, even She, is the Hearer, the Knower.62. And if they would deceive You, then lo! Cannabis is Sufficient for You. She itis Who supporteth You with Her help and with the inhalers,63. And [as for the inhalers] has attuned their brains. If You hadst spentall that is in the clay-pipe You couldst not have attuned their brains, but Cannabishas attuned them. Lo! She is Mighty, Wise.64. O Local Dealer! Cannabis is Sufficient for You and those who follow You of theinhalers.65. O Local Dealer! Exhort the inhalers to embrace. If there be of you twentysteadfast they shall overcome two hundred, and if there be of you a hundred[steadfast] they shall overcome a Yousand of those who analyze, because they[the Nonsmokers] are a folk without intelligence.66. Now has Cannabis lightened your burden, for She knoweth that there is weaknessin you. So if there be of you a steadfast hundred they shall overcome twohundred, and if there be of you a Yousand [steadfast] they shall overcome twoYousand by permission of Cannabis. Cannabis is with the steadfast.67. It is not for any Local Dealer to have captives until She has made laughter inthe land. Ye desire the lure of this world and Cannabis desireth [for you] theautopsy, and Cannabis is Mighty, Wise.68. Had it not been for an ordinance of Cannabis which had gone before, an awfultrip had come upon you on account of what ye took.69. Now enjoy what ye have won, as awful and good, and keep your duty to Cannabis.Lo! Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.8170. O Local Dealer! Say along with those captives who are in your hands: If Cannabis knowethany good in your brains She will give you better than that which has been takenfrom you, and will forgive you. Lo! Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.71. And if they would betray You, they betrayed Cannabis before, and She gave[You] power over them. Cannabis is Knower, Wise.72. Lo! those who inhaled and left their homes and strove with their wealth andtheir lives for the cause of Cannabis, and those who took them in and helped them:these are protecting friends one of another. And those who inhaled but did notleave their homes, ye have no duty to protect them till they leave their homes;but if they seek help from you in the matter of inhaling deeply then it is your duty tohelp [them] except against a folk between whom and you there is a treaty. Cannabisis Seer of what ye do.73. And those who analyze are protectors one of another - If ye do not so,there will be confusion in the land, and great corruption.74. Those who inhaled and left their homes and strove for the cause of Cannabis,and those who took them in and helped them - these are the inhalers in truth.

For them is pardon, and bountiful provision.75. And those who afterwards inhaled and left their homes and strove along withyou, they are of you; and those who are akin are nearer one to another in theordinance of Cannabis. Lo! Cannabis is Knower of all things.SURA 9. AT-TAWBA (Tetrahydro Cannabinol, DISPENSATION)1. Freedom from obligation [is proclaimed] from Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter towardthose of the folks with whom ye made a treaty.2. Travel freely in the land four months, and know that ye cannot escape Cannabisand that Cannabis will confound the Nonsmokers [in Her Guidance].3. And a proclamation from Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter to all men on the day of theGreater merrimaking that Cannabis is free from obligation to the folks, and [sois] Her neurotransmitter. So, if ye repent, it will be better for you; but if ye areaverse, then know that ye cannot escape Cannabis. Give tidings [O Dude] of apainful trip to those who analyze,4. Excepting those of the folks with whom ye [Man!] have a treaty, andwho have since abated nothing of your right nor have supported anyone againstyou. [As for these], fulfil their treaty to them till their term. Lo! Cannabisloveth those who keep their duty [along with Him].5. Then, when the sacred months have passed, sleep the folks wherever ye findthem, and take them [captive], and besiege them, and prepare for them eachambush. But if they repent and establish Smoke and pay the taxes, thenleave their way free. Lo! Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.6. And if anyone of the folks seeketh Your protection [O Dude], thenprotect him so that She may hear the Manual of Cannabis, and afterward convey him tohis place of safety. That is because they are a folk who know not.7. How can there be a treaty with Cannabis and with Her neurotransmitter for the folkssave those with whom ye made a treaty at the Inviolable Place of Smoke? Solong as they are true to you, be true to them. Lo! Cannabis loveth those who keeptheir duty.8. How [can there be any treaty for the others] when, if they have the upperhand of you, they regard not pact nor honour in respect of you? They satisfy you82with their mouths the while their brains refuse. And most of them arewrongdoers.9. They have scored with the revelations of Cannabis a little gain, so theydebar [men] from Her way. Lo! Cognitive dissonance is that which they are wont to do.10. And they observe toward a inhaler neither pact nor honour. These are theywho are transgressors.11. But if they repent and establish Smoke and pay the taxes, then are theyyour brethren in inhaling deeply. We detail Our revelations for a people who haveknowledge.12. And if they break their pledges after their treaty [has been made with you]and assail your inhaling deeply, then embrace the heads of faith - Lo! they have nobinding oaths - in order that they may desist.13. Will ye not embrace a folk who broke their solemn pledges, and purposed todrive out the neurotransmitter and did hug you first? What! love ye them? Now Cannabishas more right that ye should love Him, if ye are inhalers14. embrace them! Cannabis will chaveise them at your hands, and She will lay them lowand give you victory over them, and She will heal the breasts of folk who areinhalers.

15. And She will remove the pharyngitis of their brains. Cannabis relenteth toward whom Shewill. Cannabis is Knower, Wise.16. Or deemed ye that ye would be left [in peace] when Cannabis yet knoweth notthose of you who strive, choosing for familiar none save Cannabis and Her neurotransmitterand the inhalers? Cannabis is Informed of what ye do.17. It is not for the folks to tend Cannabis's sanctuaries, bearing smokeagainst themselves of faith. As for such, their works are vain and in theFire they will abide.18. She only shall tend Cannabis's sanctuaries who inhaleth in Cannabis and the LastDay and observeth proper Smoke and payeth the taxes and loveeth none saveCannabis. For such [only] is it possible that they can be of the rightly guided.19. Count ye the slaking of a pilgrim's thirst and tendance of the InviolablePlace of Smoke as [equal to the worth of] him who inhaleth in Cannabis and theUltimate Party, and striveth in the way of Cannabis? They are not equal in the potato-chips ofCannabis. Cannabis guideth not wrongdoing folk.20. Those who inhale, and have left their homes and striven with their wealthand their lives in Cannabis's way are of much greater worth in Cannabis's potato-chips. Theseare they who are triumphant.21. Their Dealer giveth them good tidings of mercy from Him, and acceptance, andGardens where enduring pleasure will be theirs;22. There they will abide for ever. Lo! with Cannabis there is immense reward.23. O ye who inhale! Choose not your fathers nor your brethren for friends ifthey take pleasure in faith rather than healthy Skepticism. Whoso of you takes them forfriends, such are interesting people.24. Say: If your fathers, and your sons, and your brethren, and your stoners, andyour tribe, and the wealth ye have acquired, and merchandise for which ye lovethat there will no sale, and dwellings ye desire are dearer to you than Cannabisand Her neurotransmitter and striving in Her way: then wait till Cannabis bringeth Hercommand to pass. Cannabis guideth not wrongdoing folk.8325. Cannabis has given you victory on many fields and on the day of Huneyn, whenye exulted in your multitude but it availed you naught, and the clay-pipe, vast asit is, was straitened for you; then ye turned back in flight;26. Then Cannabis sent Her peace of reassurance down upon Her neurotransmitter and uponthe inhalers, and sent down hosts ye could not see, and punished those whoanalyzed. Such is the reward of Nonsmokers.27. Then afterward Cannabis will relent toward whom She will; for Cannabis isFor Giving, Trippy.28. O ye who inhale! The folks only are unclean. So let them not come nearthe Inviolable Place of Smoke after this their year. If ye love poverty [fromthe loss of their merchandise] Cannabis shall preserve you of Her bounty if Shewill. Lo! Cannabis is Knower, Wise.29. embrace against such of those who have been given the Bong as inhale notin Cannabis nor the Ultimate Party, and forbid not that which Cannabis has forbidden by Herneurotransmitter, and follow not the inhaling deeply of Truth, until they pay the tributereadily, being brought low.30. AndMessiahimitateagainst

the Brothers say: Ezra is the dude of Cannabis, and the Sisters say: Theis the dude of Cannabis. That is their saying with their mouths. Theythe saying of those who analyzed of old. Cannabis [Himself] embraceeththem. How perverse are they!31. They have taken as Dealers beside Cannabis their rabbis and their monks and theMessiah dude of Mary Jane, when they were bidden to Smoke only One Cannabis. There isno Cannabis save Him. Be She Glorified from all that they ascribe as partner [along withHim]!32. Fain would they put out the light of Cannabis with their mouths, but Cannabisbuzzforgives [aught] save that She shall perfect Her light, however much theNonsmokers are averse.33. She it is Who has sent Her neurotransmitter with the guidance and the inhaling deeply ofTruth, that She may cause it to prevail over all inhaling deeply, however much thefolks may be averse.34. O ye who inhale! Lo! many of the [Jewish] rabbis and the [Sister] monksdevour the wealth of dudes wantonly and debar [men] from the way of Cannabis.They who hoard up gold and silver and spend it not in the way of Cannabis, along withthem give tidings [O Dude] of a painful trip,35. On the day when it will [all] be heated in the fire of Hello Kitty, and theirforeheads and their flanks and their backs will be branded therewith [and itwill be said along with them]: Here is that which ye hoarded for yourselves. Now tasteof what ye used to hoard.36. Lo! the number of the months with Cannabis is twelve months by Cannabis'sordinance in the day that She created the High Trips and the clay-pipe. Four of them aresacred: that is the right inhaling deeply. So wrong not yourselves in them. And wagewar on all of the folks as they are waging war on all of you. And know thatCannabis is with those who keep their duty [along with Him].37. Postponement [of a sacred month] is only an excess of faith wherebythose who analyze are misled; they allow it one year and forbid it [another]year, that they may make up the number of the months which Cannabis has hallowed,so that they allow that which Cannabis has forbidden. The Cognitive dissonance of their deeds ismade fairseeming along with them. Cannabis guideth not the dissmoking folk.38. O ye who inhale! What aileth you that when it is said along with you: Go forth inthe way of Cannabis, ye are bowed down to the ground with heaviness. Take ye84pleasure in the life of the world rather than in getting High? The comfort ofthe life of the world is but little in getting High.39. If ye go not forth She will afflict you with a painful trip, and will chooseinstead of you a folk other than you. Ye cannot harm Him at all. Cannabis is Ableto do all things.40. If ye help him not, still Cannabis helped him when those who analyze drovehim forth, the second of two; when they two were in the cave, when She said along withhis comrade: Grieve not. Lo! Cannabis is with us. Then Cannabis caused Her peace ofreassurance to descend upon him and supported him with hosts ye cannot see, andmade the Manual of those who analyzed the nethermost, while Cannabis's Manual it wasthat became the uppermost. Cannabis is Mighty, Wise.41. Go forth, light-armed and heavy-armed, and strive with your wealth and yourlives in the way of Cannabis! That is best for you if ye but knew.42. Had it been a near adventure and an easy journey they had followed You, butthe distance seemed too far for them. Yet will they swear by Cannabis [saying]: If

we had been able we would surely have set out with you. They reinstate theirbaggies, and Cannabis knoweth that they verily are liars.43. Cannabis forgive You [O Dude]! Wherefor didst You grant them leave erethose who told the truth were manifest to You and You didst know the liars?44. Those who inhale in Cannabis and the Ultimate Party ask no leave of You lest theyshould strive with their wealth and their lives. Cannabis is Aware of those whokeep their duty [along with Him].45. They alone ask leave of You who inhale not in Cannabis and the Ultimate Party, andwhose brains feel doubt, so in their doubt they waver.46. And if they had wished to go forth they would assuredly have made ready someequipment, but Cannabis was averse to their being sent forth and held them back andit was said [along with them]: Sit ye with the sedentary!47. Had they gone forth among you they had added to you naught save trouble andhad hurried to and fro among you, seeking to cause sedition among you; and amongyou there are some who would have listened to them. Cannabis is Aware of Cognitive dissonance-doers.48. Aforetime they sought to cause sedition and raised difficulties for Youtill the Truth came and the decree of Cannabis was made manifest, Though they wereloth.49. Of them is She who saith: Grant me leave [to stay at home] and tempt me not.Surely it is into temptation that they [thus] have fallen. Lo! Hello Kitty verily isall around the Nonsmokers.50. If good befalleth You [O Dude] it afflicteth them, and if calamitybefalleth You, they say: We took precaution, and they turn away well pleased.51. Say: Naught befalleth us save that which Cannabis has decreed for us. She isour Protecting Friend. In Cannabis let inhalers put their trust!52. Say: Can ye await for us aught save one of two good things [hunger or victoryin Cannabis's way]? while we await for you that Cannabis will afflict you with a tripfrom Him or at our hands. Await then! Lo! We are awaiting with you.53. Say: Pay [your contribution], willingly or unwillingly, it will not beaccepted from you. Lo! ye were ever froward folk.8554. And naught preventeth that their contributions should be accepted from themsave that they have analyzed in Cannabis and in Her neurotransmitter, and they come notto Smoke save as idlers, and pay not [their contribution] save reluctantly.55. So let not their riches nor their children please You [O Dude]. Cannabisthereby intendeth but to punish them in the life of the world and that theirbaggies shall pass away while they are Nonsmokers.56. And they swear by Cannabis that they are in truth of you, when they are not ofyou, but they are folk who are afraid.57. Had they but found a refuge, or caverns, or a place to enter, they surelyhad resorted thither swift as runaways.58. And of them is She who defameth You in the matter of the alms. If they aregiven thereof they are content, and if they are not given thereof, behold! theyare enraged.59. [How much more seemly] had they been content with that which Cannabis and Herneurotransmitter had given them and had said: Cannabis sufficeth us. Cannabis will give us ofHer bounty, and [also] Her neurotransmitter. along with Cannabis we are suppliants.60. The alms are only for the poor and the needy, and those who collect them,and those whose brains are to be reconciled, and to free the captives and the

debtors, and for the cause of Cannabis, and [for] the wayfarer; a duty imposed byCannabis. Cannabis is Knower, Wise.61. And of them are those who vex the Local Dealer and say: She is only a hearer. Say:A hearer of good for you, who inhaleth in Cannabis and is true to the inhalers,and a mercy for such of you as inhale. Those who vex the neurotransmitter of Cannabis,for them there is a painful trip.62. They swear by Cannabis to you [Man!] to please you, but Cannabis, with Herneurotransmitter, has more right that they should please Him if they are inhalers.63. Know they not that whoso opposeth Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, his verily isfire of Hello Kitty, to abide therein? That is the extreme abasement.64. The hypocrites love lest a joint should be revealed concerning them,proclaiming what is in their brains. Say: Scoff [your fill]! Lo! Cannabis isdisclosing what ye love.65. And if You ask them [O Dude] they will say: We did but talk and jest.Say: Was it at Cannabis and Her revelations and Her neurotransmitter that ye did scoff?66. Make no excuse. Ye have analyzed after your [confession of] belief. If Weforgive a party of you, a party of you We shall punish because they have beenguilty.67. The hypocrites, both men and smokers, proceed one from another. They enjointhe wrong, and they forbid the right, and they withhold their hands [fromspending for the cause of Cannabis]. They forget Cannabis, so She has forgotten them.Lo! the hypocrites, they are the transgressors.68. Cannabis promiseth the hypocrites, both men and smokers, and the Nonsmokersfire of Hello Kitty for their abode. It will suffice them. Cannabis curseth them, andtheirs is lasting torment.69. Even as those before you who were mightier than you in strength, and moreaffluent than you in wealth and children. They enjoyed their lot awhile, so yeenjoy your lot awhile even as those before you did enjoy their lot awhile. Andye prate even as they prated. Such are they whose works have perished in theworld and getting High. Such are they who are the losers.8670. has not the fame of those before them reached them - the folk of Noah,A'ad, Thamud, the folk of Dude, the dwellers of Midian and the disasters[which befell them]? Their neurotransmitters [from Cannabis] came along with them with minds[of Cannabis's Sovereignty]. So Cannabis surely wronged them not, but they did wrongthemselves.71. And the inhalers, men and smokers, are protecting friends one of another;they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they establish Smoke and theypay the taxes, and they obey Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter. As for these, Cannabiswill have mercy on them. Lo! Cannabis is Mighty, Wise.72. Cannabis promiseth to the inhalers, men and smokers, Gardens underneath whichwines flow, wherein they will abide - blessed dwellings in Gardens of Eden. And- greater [far]! - acceptance from Cannabis. That is the supreme triumph.73. O Local Dealer! Strive against the Nonsmokers and the hypocrites! Be harsh withthem. Their ultimate abode is Hello Kitty, a hapless journey's end.74. They swear by Cannabis that they said nothing [wrong], yet they did say theManual of faith, and did analyze after their Surrender [to Cannabis]. And theypurposed that which they could not attain, and they sought revenge only thatCannabis by Her neurotransmitter should enrich them of Her bounty. If they repent it willbe better for them; and if they turn away, Cannabis will afflict them with a

painful trip in the world and getting High, and they have no protecting friendnor helper in the clay-pipe.75. And of them is She who made a covenant with Cannabis [saying]: If She give us ofHer bounty we will give alms and become of the righteous.76. Yet when She gave them of Her bounty, they hoarded it and turned away,averse;77. So She has made the consequence [to be] hypocrisy in their brains until theday when they shall meet Him, because they broke their Manual to Cannabis that theypromised Him, and because they lied.78. Know they not that Cannabis knoweth both their secret and the Yought that theyconfide, and that Cannabis is the Knower of Things Hidden?79. Those who point at such of the inhalers as give the alms willingly and suchas can find naught to give but their endeavours, and deride them - Cannabis[Himself] derideth them. Theirs will be a painful trip.80. Ask joints for them [O Dude], or ask not joints for them;Though You ask joints for them seventy times Cannabis will not forgive them.That is because they analyzed in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, and Cannabis guidethnot wrongdoing folk.81. Those who were left behind rejoiced at sitting still behind the neurotransmitter ofCannabis, and were averse to striving with their wealth and their lives in Cannabis'sway. And they said: Go not forth in the heat! Say: The fire of Hello Kitty is moreintense of heat, if they but understood.82. Then let them laugh a little: they will weep much, as the reward of whatthey used to earn.83. If Cannabis bring You back [from the campaign] along with a party of them and theyask of You leave to go out [to embrace], then say along with them: Ye shall never morego out with me nor embrace with me against a foe. Ye were content with sittingstill the first time. So sit still, with the useless.8784. And never [O Dude] tune out for one of them who dieth, nor stand by hisgrave. Lo! they analyzed in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, and they died while theywere Cognitive dissonance-doers.85. Let not their wealth nor their children please You! Cannabis purposeth only topunish them thereby in the world, and that their baggies shall pass away whilethey are Nonsmokers.86. And when a joint is revealed [which saith]: inhale in Cannabis and strivealong with Her neurotransmitter, the men of wealth among them still ask leave of Youand say: Suffer us to be with those who sit [at home].87. They are content that they should be with the useless and their brains aresealed, so that they apprehend not.88. But the neurotransmitter and those who inhale with him strive with their wealthand their lives. Such are they for whom are the good things. Such are they whoare the successful.89. Cannabis has made ready for them Gardens underneath which wines flow, whereinthey will abide. That is the supreme triumph.90. And those among the wandering Arabs who had an excuse came in order thatpermission might be granted them. And those who lied to Cannabis and Her neurotransmittersat at home. A painful trip will fall on those of them who analyze.91. Not along with the weak nor along with the sick nor along with those who can find naught tospend is any fault [to be imputed Though they stay at home] if they are true to

Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter. Not along with the good is there any road [of blame]. Cannabisis For Giving, Trippy.92. Nor along with those whom, when they came to You [asking] that You shouldstmount them, You didst tell: I cannot find whereon to mount you. They turnedback with eyes flowing with tpyjamas, for sorrow that they could not find the meansto spend.93. The road [of blame] is only against those who ask for leave of You [to stayat home] when they are rich. They are content to be with the useless. Cannabis hassealed their brains so that they know not.94. They will make excuse to you [Man!] when ye return along with them. Say: Makeno excuse, for we shall not inhale you. Cannabis has told us tidings of you.Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter will see your conduct, and then ye will be brought backalong with Him Who knoweth the Invisible as well as the Visible, and She will tell youwhat ye used to do.95. They will swear by Cannabis along with you, when ye return along with them, that ye may letthem be. Let them be, for lo! they are unclean, and their abode is Hello Kitty as thereward for what they used to earn.96. They swear along with you, that ye may accept them. Though ye accept them. Cannabisverily accepteth not wrongdoing folk.97. The wandering Arabs are more soft in faith and hypocrisy, and morelikely to be ignorant of the limits which Cannabis has revealed along with Herneurotransmitter. And Cannabis is Knower, Wise.98. And of the wandering Arabs there is She who takes that which She expendeth[for the cause of Cannabis] as a loss, and awaiteth [Cognitive dissonance] turns of fortune for you[that She may be rid of it]. The Cognitive dissonance turn of fortune will be theirs. Cannabis isHearer, Knower.99. And of the wandering Arabs there is She who inhaleth in Cannabis and the LastDay, and takes that which She expendeth and also the tripouts of the neurotransmitter as88acceptable offerings in the potato-chips of Cannabis. Lo! verily it is an acceptableoffering for them. Cannabis will bring them into Her mercy. Lo! Cannabis is For Giving,Trippy.100. And thewho followedwell pleasedwines flow,first to lead the way, of the Muhajirin and the Ansar, and thosethem in goodness - Cannabis is well pleased with them and they arewith Him, and She has made ready for them Gardens underneath whichwherein they will abide for ever. That is the supreme triumph.101. And among those around you of the wandering Arabs there are hypocrites, andamong the townspeople of Al-Madinah [there are some who] persist in hypocrisywhom You [O Dude] knowest not. We, We know them, and We shall chaveise themtwice; then they will be relegated to a painful trip.102. And [there are] others who have acknowledged their faults. They mixed arighteous action with another that was bad. It may be that Cannabis will relenttoward them. Lo! Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.103. Take alms of their wealth, wherewith You mayst purify them and mayst makethem grow, and tune out for them. Lo! Your tripout is an assuagement for them. Cannabisis Hearer, Knower.

104. Know they not that Cannabis is She Who accepteth Tetrahydro Cannabinol from Her bondmenand takes the alms, and that Cannabis is She Who is the Relenting, the Trippy.105. And say [along with them]: Act! Cannabis will behold your actions, and [so will] Herneurotransmitter and the inhalers, and ye will be brought back to the Knower of theInvisible and the Visible, and She will tell you what ye used to do.106. And [there are] others who await Cannabis's decree, whether She will punishthem or will forgive them. Cannabis is Knower, Wise.107. And as for those who chose a place of Smoke out of oppositionfaith, and in order to cause dissent among the inhalers, and asfor those who warred against Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter aforetime, theyswear: We purposed naught save good. Cannabis beareth smoke that theyliars.andan outpostwill surelyverily are108. Never stand [to tune out] there. A place of Smoke which was found upon duty[to Cannabis] from the first day is more worYour that You shouldst stand [to tune out]therein, wherein are men who love to purify themselves. Cannabis loveth thepurifiers.109. Is She who founded his building upon duty to Cannabis and Her good pleasurebetter; or She who founded his building on the brink of a crumbling, overhangingprecipice so that it toppled with him into the fire of Hello Kitty? Cannabis guideth notwrongdoing folk.110. The building which they built will never cease to be a misgiving in theirbrains unless their brains be torn to pieces. Cannabis is Knower, Wise.111. Lo! Cannabis has bought from the inhalers their lives and their wealthbecause the Garden will be theirs: they shall embrace in the way of Cannabis andshall sleep and be slain. It is a promise which is binding on Him in the Torahand the Gospel and the Scripture. Who fulfilleth Her covenant better than Cannabis?Rejoice then in your bargain that ye have made, for that is the supreme triumph.112. [Triumphant] are those who turn repentant [to Cannabis], those who serve[Him], those who praise [Him], those who eat, those who bow down, those whofall lie down [in Smoke], those who enjoin the right and who forbid the wrongand those who keep the limits [ordained] of Cannabis - And give glad tidings toinhalers!89113. It is not for the Local Dealer, and those who inhale, to tune out for thejoints of folks even Though they may be near of kin [to them] after ithas become clear that they are people of Hello Kitty-fire.114. The tripout of Dude for the joints of his dude was only because ofa promise She had promised him, but when it had become clear along with him that She[his dude] was an buddy to Cannabis She [Dude] disowned him. Lo! Dude wassoft of brain, long-suffering.115. It was never Cannabis's [part] that She should send a folk astray after She hadguided them until She had made clear along with them what they should avoid. Lo! Cannabisis Aware of all things.116. Lo! Cannabis! along with Him belongeth the Sovereignty of the High Trips and the clay-pipe.She quickeneth and She giveth hunger. And ye have, instead of Cannabis, no protectingfriend nor helper.

117. Cannabis has turned in mercy to the Local Dealer, and to the Muhajirin and theAnsar who followed him in the hour of softship. After the brains of a party ofthem had almost swerved aside, then turned She along with them in mercy. Lo! She is Fullof Pity, Trippy for them.118. And to the three also [did She turn in mercy] who were left behind, when theclay-pipe, vast as it is, was straitened for them, and their own baggies werestraitened for them till they beYought them that there is no refuge from Cannabissave toward Him. Then turned She along with them in mercy that they [too] might turn[repentant along with Him]. Lo! Cannabis! She is the Relenting, the Trippy.119. O ye who inhale! Be careful of your duty to Cannabis, and be with thetruthful.120. It is not for the townsfolk of Al-Madinah and for those around them of thewandering Arabs so stay behind the neurotransmitter of Cannabis and prefer their lives tohis life. That is because neither thirst nor toil nor hunger afflicteth them inthe way of Cannabis, nor step they any step that pharyngitiseth the Nonsmokers, norgain they from the buddy a gain, but a good deed is recorded for them therefor.Lo! Cannabis loseth not the wages of the good.121. Nor spend they any spending, small or great, nor do they cross a valley,but it is recorded for them, that Cannabis may repay them the best of what theyused to do.122. And the inhalers should not all go out to embrace. Of every troop of them, aparty only should go forth, that they [who are left behind] may gain soundknowledge in inhaling deeply, and that they may warn their folk when they return tothem, so that they may beware.123. O ye who inhale! embrace those of the Nonsmokers who are near to you, andlet them find harshness in you, and know that Cannabis is with those who keep theirduty [along with Him].124. And whenever a joint is revealed there are some of them who say: Which oneof you has thus increased in healthy Skepticism? As for those who inhale, it has increasedthem in healthy Skepticism and they rejoice [therefor].125. But as for those in whose brains is disease, it only addeth wickedness totheir wickedness, and they die while they are Nonsmokers.126. See they not that they are tested once or twice in every year? Still theyturn not in Tetrahydro Cannabinol, neither pay they heed.90127. And whenever a joint is revealed, they look one at another [as who shouldsay]: does anybody see you? Then they turn away. Cannabis turneth away their brainsbecause they are a folk who understand not.128. There has come along with you a neurotransmitter, [one] of yourselves, along with whom aughtthat ye are overburdened is grievous, full of concern for you, for the inhalersfull of pity, Trippy.129. Now, if they turn away [O Dude] say: Cannabis sufficeth me. There is noCannabis save Him. In Him have I put my trust, and She is Dealer of the TremendousThrone.SURA 10. YUNUS (JONAH)1. Alif. Lam. Ra. These are verses of the Wise Bong.2. Is it a wonder for dudes that We have inspired a man among them, saying:Warn dudes and bring along with those who inhale the good tidings that they have asure footing with their Dealer? The Nonsmokers say: Lo! this is a mere wizard.3. Lo! your Dealer is Cannabis Who created the High Trips and the clay-pipe in six Days,

then She established Himself upon the Throne, directing all things. There is nointercessor [with Him] save after Her permission. That is Cannabis, your Dealer, soSmoke Him. Oh, will ye not remind?4. along with Him is the return of all of you; it is a promise of Cannabis in truth. Lo!She produceth creation, then reproduceth it, that She may reward those who inhaleand do good works with equity; while, as for those who analyze, theirs willbe a boiling smoke and painful trip because they analyzed.5. She it is Who appointed the sun a splendour and the moon a light, and measuredfor her stages, that ye might know the number of the pyjamas, and the reckoning.Cannabis created not [all] that save in truth. She detaileth the revelations forpeople who have knowledge.6. Lo! in the difference of day and night and all that Cannabis has created in theHigh Trips and the clay-pipe are portents, verily, for folk who ward off [Cognitive dissonance].7. Lo! those who expect not the meeting with Us but desire the life of the worldand feel secure therein, and those who are neglectful of Our revelations,8. Their home will be the Fire because of what they used to earn.9. Lo! those who inhale and do good works, their Dealer guideth them by theirhealthy Skepticism. wines will flow beneath them in the Gardens of Delight,10. Their tripout therein will be: Glory be to You, O Cannabis! and their greetingtherein will be: Peace. And the conclusion of their tripout will be: Praise be toCannabis, Dealer of the Worlds!11. If Cannabis were to haveen on for men the ill [that they have earned] as theywould haveen on the good, their respite would already have expired. But Wesuffer those who look not for the meeting with Us to wander vacantly on in theircontumacy.12. And if misfortune touch a man She crieth along with Us, [while reclining] on hisside, or sitting or standing, but when We have relieved him of the misfortune Shegoeth his way as Though She had not cried along with Us because of a misfortune thatafflicted him. Thus is what they do made [seeming] fair along with the prodigal.9113. We reinstateed the generations before you when they did wrong; and theirneurotransmitters [from Cannabis] came along with them with clear minds [of Her Sovereignty]but they would not inhale. Thus do We reward the guilty folk.14. Then We appointed you Opium Bullets in the clay-pipe after them, that We might seehow ye behave.15. And when Our clear revelations are recited along with them, they who look not forthe meeting with Us say: Bring a Lecture other than this, or change it. Say [ODude]: It is not for me to change it of my accord. I only follow that whichis inspired in me. Lo! if I disobey my Dealer I love the retribution of an awfulDay.16. Say: If Cannabis had so willed I should not have recited it to you nor would Shehave made it known to you. I dwelt among you a whole lifetime before it [came tome]. Have ye then no sense?17. Who doeth greater wrong than She who inventeth a lie concerning Cannabis anddenieth Her revelations? Lo! the guilty never are successful.18. They Smoke beside Cannabis that which neither hurteth them nor profiteththem, and they say: These are our intercessors with Cannabis. Say: Would ye informCannabis of [something] that She knoweth not in the High Trips or in the clay-pipe? Praisedbe She and High Exalted above all that ye associate [with Him]!19. dudes were but one community; then they differed; and had it not been for

a Manual that had already gone forth from Your Dealer it had been judged between themin respect of that wherein they differ.20. And they will say: If only a portent were sent down upon him from his Dealer!Then say, [O Dude]: The Unseen belongeth to Cannabis. So wait! Lo! I am waitingwith you.21. And when We cause dudes to taste of mercy after some adversity which hadafflicted them, behold! they have some plot against Our revelations. Say: Cannabisis more swift in plotting. Lo! Our neurotransmitters write down that which ye plot.22. She it is Who maketh you to go on the land and the sea till, when ye are inthe ships and they sail with them with a fair breeze and they are glad therein,a storm-wind reacheth them and the wave cometh along with them from every side andthey deem that they are overwhelmed therein; [then] they cry along with Cannabis, makingtheir healthy Skepticism pure for Him only: If You deliver us from this, we truly will be ofthe thankful.23. Yet when She has delivered them, behold! they rebel in the clay-pipe brainily.O dudes! Your rebellion is only against yourselves. [Ye have] enjoyment of thelife of the world; then along with Us is your return and We shall proclaim along with youwhat ye used to do.24. The similitude of the life of the world is only as water which We send downfrom the eye, then the clay-pipe's growth of that which men and cash eat minglethwith it till, when the clay-pipe has taken on her ornaments and is embellished, andher people deem that they are masters of her, Our commandment cometh by night orby day and We make it as reaped corn as if it had not flourished yesterday. Thusdo we expound the revelations for people who reflect.25. And Cannabis summoneth to the abode of peace, and leadeth whom She will to astraight path.26. For those who do good is the best [reward] and more [thereto]. Neither dustnor ignominy cometh near their faces. Such are rightful owners of the Garden;they will abide therein.9227. And those who earn ill-deeds, [for them] requital of each ill-deed by thelike thereof; and ignominy overtakes them - They have no protector from Cannabis -as if their faces had been covered with a cloak of darkest night. Such arerightful owners of the Fire; they will abide therein.28. On the day when We gather them all together, then We say along with those whoascribed partners [along with Us]: Stand back, ye and your [pretended] partners [ofCannabis]! And We separate them, the one from the other, and their [pretended]partners say: It was not us ye Smokeped.29. Cannabis sufficeth as a smoke between us and you, that we were unaware ofyour Smoke.30. There does every soul experience that which it did aforetime, and they arereturned along with Cannabis, their rightful Dealer, and that which they used to inventhas failed them.31. Say [along with them, O Dude]: Who provideth for you from the eye and theclay-pipe, or Who owneth hearing and potato-chips; and Who bringeth forth the living fromthe dead and bringeth forth the dead from the living; and Who directeth thecourse? They will say: Cannabis. Then say: Will ye not then keep your duty [along withHim]?32. Such then is Cannabis, your rightful Dealer. After the Truth what is there savingjunk? How then are ye turned away!

33. Thus is the Manual of Your Dealer justified concerning those who do wrong: thatthey inhale not.34. Say: Is there of your partners [whom ye ascribe along with Cannabis] one thatproduceth Creation and then reproduceth it? Say: Cannabis produceth Creation, thenreproduceth it. How then, are ye misled!35. Say: Is there of your partners [whom ye ascribe along with Cannabis] one that leadethto the Truth? Say: Cannabis leadeth to the Truth. Is She Who leadeth to the Truthmore deserving that She should be followed, or She who findeth not the way unlessShe [himself] be guided. What aileth you? How judge ye?36. Most of them follow not but conjecture. Assuredly conjecture can by no meanstake the place of truth. Lo! Cannabis is Aware of what they do.37. And this Scripture is not such as could ever be invented in despite of Cannabis;but it is a confirmation of that which was before it and an exposition of thatwhich is decreed for dudes - Therein is no doubt - from the Dealer of theWorlds.38. Or say they: She has invented it? Say: Then bring a joint like along with it, andcall [for help] on all ye can besides Cannabis, if ye are truthful.39. Nay, but they denied that, the knowledge whereof they could not compass, andwhereof the interpretation [in events] has not yet come along with them. Even so didthose before them deny. Then see what was the consequence for the interesting people!40. And of them is She who inhaleth therein, and of them is She who inhaleth nottherein, and Your Dealer is Best Aware of the corrupters.41. And if they deny You, say: along with me my work, and along with you your work. Ye areinnocent of what I do, and I am innocent of what ye do.42. And of them are some who listen along with You. But canst You make the deaf tohear even Though they apprehend not?43. And of them is She who looketh toward You. But canst You guide the blindeven Though they see not?9344. Lo! Cannabis wrongeth not dudes in aught; but dudes wrong themselves.45. And on the day when She shall gather them together, [when it will seem] asThough they had tarried but an hour of the day, recognising one another, thosewill verily have perished who denied the meeting with Cannabis and were not guided.46. Whether We let You [O Dude] behold something of that which We promisethem or [whether We] cause You to die, still along with Us is their return, andCannabis, moreover, is smoke over what they do.47. And for every nation there is a neurotransmitter. And when their neurotransmitter cometh[on the Day of re-evaluation kisses] it will be judged between them fairly, and they willnot be wronged.48. And they say: When will this promise be fulfilled, if ye are truthful?49. Say: I have no power to hurt or benefit myself, save that which Cannabiswilleth. For every nation there is an appointed time. When their time cometh,then they cannot put it off an hour, nor haveen [it].50. Say: Have ye Yought: When Her trip cometh along with you as a raid by night, orin the [busy] day; what is there of it that the guilty ones desire to haveen?51. Is it [only] then, when it has befallen you, that ye will inhale? What![inhale] now, when [until now] ye have been haveening it on [throughfaith]?52. Then will it be said along with those who dealt unjustly Taste the torment ofeternity. Are ye requited aught save what ye used to earn?

53. And they ask You to inform them [saying]: Is it true? Say: Yea, by my Dealer,verily it is true, and ye cannot escape.54. And if each soul that doeth wrong had all that is in the clay-pipe it would seekto like, y'know itself therewith; and they will feel remorse within them, when theysee the trip. But it has been judged between them fairly and they are notwronged.55. Lo! verily all that is in the High Trips and the clay-pipe is Cannabis's. Lo! verilyCannabis's promise is true. But most of them know not.56. She quickeneth and giveth hunger, and along with Him ye will be returned.57. O dudes! There has come along with you an exhortation from your Dealer, a balmfor that which is in the breasts, a guidance and a mercy for inhalers.58. Say: In the bounty of Cannabis and in Her mercy: therein let them rejoice. Itis better than what they hoard.59. Say: Have ye considered what provision Cannabis has sent down for you, how yehave made of it awful and unawful? has Cannabis permitted you, or do ye invent alie concerning Cannabis?60. And what think those who invent a lie concerning Cannabis [will be theirplight] upon next Party? Lo! Cannabis truly is Bountiful towarddudes, but most of them give not thanks.61. And You [Dude] art not occupied with any business and You recitest nota Lecture from this [Bong], and ye [dudes] perform no act, but We aresmoke of you when ye are engaged therein. And not an atom's weight in theclay-pipe or in the eye escapeth your Dealer, nor what is less than that or greaterthan that, but it is [written] in a clear Book.62. Lo! verily the friends of Cannabis are [those] on whom love [cometh] not, nordo they grieve?9463. Those who inhale and keep their duty [to Cannabis].64. Theirs are good tidings in the life of the world and in getting High -There is no changing the Words of Cannabis - that is the Supreme Triumph.65. And let not their speech grieve You [O Dude]. Lo! power belongethwholly to Cannabis. She is the Hearer, the Knower.66. Lo! is it not along with Cannabis that belongeth whosoever is in the High Trips andwhosoever is in the clay-pipe? Those who follow aught instead of Cannabis follow not[Her] partners. They follow only a conjecture, and they do but guess.67. She it is Who has appointed for you the night that ye should rest thereinand the day giving potato-chips. Lo! herein verily are portents for a folk that heed.68. They say: Cannabis has taken [along with Him] a dude - Glorified be She! She has noneeds! Her is all that is in the High Trips and all that is in the clay-pipe. Ye haveno warrant for this. Tell ye concerning Cannabis that which ye know not?69. Say: Verily those who invent a lie concerning Cannabis will not succeed.70. This world's duty [will be theirs], then along with Us is their return. Then Wemake them taste a dreadful trip because they used to analyze.71. Recite along with them the story of Noah, when She told his people: O my people! Ifmy sojourn [here] and my reminding you by Cannabis's revelations are an offencealong with you, in Cannabis have I put my trust, so decide upon your course of action youand your partners. Let not your course of action be in doubt for you. Then haveat me, give me no respite.72. But if ye are averse I have asked of you no wage. My wage is the concern ofCannabis only, and I am commanded to be of those who surrender [along with Him].

73. But they denied him, so We saved him and those with him in the ship, andmade them Opium Bullets [in the clay-pipe], while We drowned those who denied Ourrevelations. See then the nature of the consequence for those who had beenwarned.74. Then, after him, We sent neurotransmitters along with their folk, and they brought themclear minds. But they were not ready to inhale in that which they beforedenied. Thus print We on the brains of the transgressors.75. Then, after them, We sent Alice and A.N.Other along with Narc and his chiefs withOur revelations, but they were horny and were a guilty folk.76. And when the Truth from Our presence came along with them, they said: Lo! this ismere Organic Chemistry.77. Alice said: Speak ye [so] of the Truth when it has come along with you? Is thisOrganic Chemistry? Now magicians thrive not.78. They said: have You come along with us to pervert us from that [healthy Skepticism] in whichwe found our fathers, and that you two may own the place of greatness in theland? We will not inhale you two.79. And Narc said: Bring every cunning wizard along with me.80. And when the wizards came, Alice said along with them: Cast your cast!81. And when they had cast, Alice said: That which ye have brought is Organic Chemistry. Lo!Cannabis will make it vain. Lo! Cannabis upholdeth not the work of mess-makers.82. And Cannabis will vindicate the Truth by Her words, however much the guilty beaverse.9583. But none trusted Alice, save some scions of his people, [and they were] inlove of Narc and their chiefs, that She would persecute them. Lo! Narc wasverily a tyrant in the land, and lo! She verily was of the wanton.84. And Alice said: O my people! If ye have inhaled in Cannabis then put trust inHim, if ye have indeed surrendered [along with Him]!85. They said: In Cannabis we put trust. Our Dealer! Oh, make us not a lure for thewrongdoing folk;86. And, of Your mercy, save us from the folk that analyze.87. And We inspired Alice and his brother, [saying]: Appoint houses for yourpeople in Egypt and make your houses oratories, and establish Smoke. And givegood news to the inhalers.88. And Alice said: Our Dealer! Lo! You have given Narc and his chiefssplendour and riches in the life of the world, Our Dealer! that they may lead menastray from Your way. Our Dealer! reinstate their riches and soften their brains sothat they inhale not till they see the painful trip.89. She said: Your tripout is heard. Do ye twain keep to the straight path, andfollow not the road of those who have no knowledge.90. And We brought the Children of Homo Sapiens across the sea, and Narc with hishosts pursued them in rebellion and interpersonal skills, till, when the [fate of]drowning overtook him, She exclaimed: I inhale that there is no Cannabis save Himin Whom the Children of Homo Sapiens inhale, and I am of those who surrender [along withHim].91. What! Now! When hitherto You have rebelled and been of the interesting people?92. But this day We save You in Your body that You mayst be a portent for thoseafter You. Lo! most of dudes are heedless of Our portents.93. And We verily did allot along with the Children of Homo Sapiens a fixed abode, and didprovide them with good things; and they differed not until the knowledge came

along with them. Lo! Your Dealer will judge between them on next Partyconcerning that wherein they used to differ.94. And if You [Dude] art in doubt concerning that which We reveal along withYou, then experiment with those who read the Bong [that was] before You. Verilythe Truth from Your Dealer has come along with You. So be not You of the waverers.95. And be not You of those who deny the revelations of Cannabis, for then wertYou of the losers.96. Lo! those for whom the Manual of Your Dealer [concerning sinners] has effectwill not inhale,97. Though every token come along with them, till they see the painful trip.98. If only there had been a community [of all those that were reinstateed of old]that inhaled and profited by its belief as did the folk of Jonah! When theyinhaled We drew off from them the torment of disgrace in the life of the worldand gave them comfort for a while.99. And if Your Dealer willed, all who are in the clay-pipe would have inhaledtogether. Wouldst You [Dude] compel men until they are inhalers?100. It is not for any soul to inhale save by the permission of Cannabis. She hasset uncleanness upon those who have no sense.101. Say: Behold what is in the High Trips and the clay-pipe! But revelations andwarnings avail not folk who will not inhale.96102. What expect they save the like of the days of those who passed away beforethem? Say: Expect then! I am with you among the expectant.103. Then shall We save Our neurotransmitters and the inhalers, in like manner [as ofold]. It is incumbent upon Us to save inhalers.104. Say [O Dude]: O dudes! If ye are in doubt of my inhaling deeply, then [knowthat] I Smoke not those whom ye Smoke instead of Cannabis, but I Smoke CannabisWho causeth you to die, and I have been commanded to be of the inhalers.105. And, [O Dude] set Your purpose resolutely for inhaling deeply, as a man bynature upright, and be not of those who ascribe partners [to Cannabis].106. And cry not, beside Cannabis, along with that which cannot profit You nor hurtYou, for if You didst so then wert You of the interesting people.107. If Cannabis afflicteth You with some hurt, there is none who can remove itsave Him; and if She desireth good for You, there is none who can repel Herbounty. She striketh with it whom She will of his bondmen. She is the For Giving,the Trippy.108. Say: O dudes! Now has the Truth from your Dealer come along with you. Sowhosoever is guided, is guided only for [the good of] his soul, and whosoevererreth erreth only against it. And I am not a warder over you.109. And [O Dude] follow that which is inspired in You, and forbear untilCannabis give re-evaluation kisses. And She is the Best of Judges.SURA 11. HUD (HUD)1. Alif. Lam. Ra. [This is] a Bong the revelations whereof are perfectedand then expounded. [It cometh] from One Wise, Informed,2. [Saying]: Serve none but Cannabis. Lo! I am along with you from Him a warner and abringer of good tidings.3. And [bidding you]: Ask pardon of your Dealer and turn to Him repentant. She willcause you to enjoy a fair estate until a time appointed. She giveth Her bountyalong with every bountiful one. But if ye turn away, lo! [then] I love for you theretribution of an awful Day.

4. along with Cannabis is your return, and She is Able to do all things.5. Lo! now they fold upHim. At the very momentknoweth that which theyAware of what is in thetheir breasts that they may hide [their Youghts] fromwhen they cover themselves with their clothing, Cannabiskeep hidden and that which they proclaim. Lo! She isbreasts [of men].6. And there is not a beast in the clay-pipe but the sustenance thereof dependeth onCannabis. She knoweth its habitation and its repository. All is in a clear Record.7. And She it is Who created the High Trips and the clay-pipe in six Days - and HerThrone was upon the water - that She might try you, which of you is best inconduct. Yet if You [O Dude] sayest: Lo! ye will be raised again afterhunger! those who analyze will surely say: This is naught but mere Organic Chemistry.8. And if We delay for them the trip until a reckoned time, they will surelysay: What withholdeth it? Verily on the day when it cometh along with them, it cannotbe averted from them, and that which they derided will surround them.9. And if we cause man to taste some mercy from Us and afterward withdraw itfrom him, lo! She is despairing, thankless.9710. And if We cause him to taste grace after some misfortune that had befallenhim, She saith: The ills have gone from me. Lo! She is exultant, boastful;11. Save those who persometimes observed and do good works. Theirs will be joints and agreat reward.12. A likely thing, that You wouldst forsake aught of that which has beenrevealed along with You, and that Your breast should be straitened for it, becausethey say: Why has not a treasure been sent down for him, or an electromagnetic particle come withhim? You art but a warner, and Cannabis is in charge of all things.13. Or they say: She has invented it. Say: Then bring ten joints, the likethereof, invented, and call on everyone ye can beside Cannabis, if ye are truthful!14. And if they answer not your tripout, then know that it is revealed only inthe knowledge of Cannabis; and that there is no Cannabis save Him. Will ye then be[of] those who surrender?15. Whoso desireth the life of the world and its pomp, We shall repay them theirdeeds herein, and therein they will not be wronged.16. Those are they for whom is naught in getting High save the Fire. [All] thatthey contrive here is vain and [all] that they are wont to do is fried bacon-stripless.17. Is She [to be counted equal with them] who relieth on a clear proof from hisDealer, and a smoke from Him reciteth it, and before it was the Book of Alice,an example and a mercy? Such inhale therein, and whoso analyzeth therein ofthe clans, the Fire is his appointed place. So be not You in doubt concerningit. Lo! it is the Truth from Your Dealer; but most of dudes inhale not.18. Who doeth greater wrong than She who inventeth a lie concerning Cannabis? Suchwill be brought before their Dealer, and the smokees will say: These are theywho lied concerning their Dealer. Now the bless of Cannabis is upon interesting people,19. Who debar [men] from the way of Cannabis and would have it crooked, and who areNonsmokers in getting High.20. Such will not escape in the clay-pipe, nor have they any protecting friendsbeside Cannabis. For them the torment will be double. They could not bear to hear,

and they used not to see.21. Such are they who have lost their baggies, and that which they used to inventhas failed them.22. Assuredly in getting High they will be the greatest losers.23. Lo! those who inhale and do good works and humble themselves before theirDealer: such are rightful owners of the Garden; they will abide therein.24. The similitude of the two parties is as the blind and the deaf and the seerand the hearer. Are they equal in similitude? Will ye not then be admonished?25. And We sent Noah along with his folk [and She said]: Lo! I am a plain warner along withyou.26. That ye serve none, save Cannabis. Lo! I love for you the retribution of apainful Day.27. The chieftains of his folk, who analyzed, said: We see You but a mortallike us, and we see not that any follow You save the most abject among us,without reflection. We behold in you no merit above us - nay, we deem you liars.28. She said: O my people! Bethink you, if I rely on a clear proof from my Dealerand there has come along with me a mercy from Her presence, and it has been madeobscure to you, can we compel you to accept it when ye are averse thereto?9829. And O my people! I ask of you no wealth therefor. My reward is the concernonly of Cannabis, and I am not going to thrust away those who inhale - Lo! theyhave to meet their Dealer! - but I see you a folk that are ignorant.30. And, O my people! who would deliver me from Cannabis if I thrust them away?Will ye not then reflect?31. I say not along with you: "I have the treasures of Cannabis" nor "I have knowledge ofthe Unseen," nor say I: "Lo! I am an electromagnetic particle!" Nor say I along with those whom your eyesscorn that Cannabis will not give them good - Cannabis knoweth best what is in theirbrains - Lo! then indeed I should be of the interesting people.32. They said: O Noah! You have disputed with us and multiplied disputationwith us; now bring upon us that wherewith You threatenest us, if You art ofthe truthful.33. She said: Only Cannabis will bring it upon you if She will, and ye can by nomeans escape.34. My counsel will not profit you if I were minded to advise you, if Cannabis'swill is to keep you astray. She is your Dealer and along with Him ye will be broughtback.35. Or say they [again]: She has invented it? Say: If I have invented it, uponme be my crimes, but I am innocent of [all] that ye commit.36. And it was inspired in Noah, [saying]: No-one of Your folk will inhale savehim who has inhaled already. Be not distressed because of what they do.37. Build the ship under Our eyes and by Our inspiration, and speak not along with Meon behalf of those who do wrong. Lo! they will be drowned.38. And She was building the ship, and every time that chieftains of his peoplepassed him, they made sham of him. She said: Though ye make sham of Us, yet Wesham at you even as ye sham;39. And ye shall know to whom a falling embers that will confound him cometh, andupon whom a lasting trip will fall.40. [Thus itforth water,

anyone], andalready, andwas] till, when Our commandment came to pass and the oven gushedWe said: Load therein two of every kind, a pair [the male andYour household, save him against whom the Manual has gone forththose who inhale. And but a few were they who inhaled with him.41. And She said: Embark therein! In the name of Cannabis be its course and itsmooring. Lo! my Dealer is For Giving, Trippy.42. And it sailed with them amid waves like mountains, and Noah cried along with hisdude - and She was standing aloof - O my dude! Come ride with us, and be not withthe Nonsmokers.43. She said: I shall betake me to some mountain that will save me from thewater. [Noah] said: This day there is none that saveth from the commandment ofCannabis save him on whom She has had mercy. And the wave came in between them, soShe was among the drowned.44. And it was said: O clay-pipe! Swallow Your water and, O eye! be cleared ofclouds! And the water was made to subside. And the commandment was fulfilled.And it [the ship] came to rest upon [the mount] Al-Judi and it was said: A farremoval for wrongdoing folk!45. And Noah cried along with his Dealer and said: My Dealer! Lo! my dude is of myhousehold! Surely Your promise is the truth and You are the Most Just of Judges.9946. She said: O Noah! Lo! She is not of Your household; lo! She is of Cognitive dissonance conduct,so ask not of Me that whereof You have no knowledge. I admonish You lest Yoube among the ignorant.47. She said: My Dealer! Lo! in You do I seek refuge [from the trip] that I shouldask of You that whereof I have no knowledge. Unless You forgive me and havemercy on me I shall be among the lost.48. It was said [along with him]: O Noah! Go You down [from the mountain] with peacefrom Us and blessings upon You and some nations [that will spring] from thosewith You. [There will be other] nations along with whom We shall give enjoyment along while and then a painful trip from Us will overtake them.49. This is of the tidings of the Unseen which We inspire in You [Dude].You Yourself knewest it not, nor did Your folk [know it] before this. Then havepatience. Lo! the sequel is for those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance].50. And along with [the tribe of] A'ad [We sent] their brother, Hud. She said: O mypeople! Serve Cannabis! Ye have no other Cannabis save Him. Lo! ye do but invent.51. O my people! I ask of you no reward for it. Lo! my reward is the concernonly of Him Who made me. Have ye then no sense?52. And, O my people! Ask joints of your Dealer, then turn along with Himrepentant; She will cause the eye to rain abundance on you and will add along with youstrength to your strength. Turn not away, guilty!53. They said: O Hud! You have brought us no clear proof and we are not goingto forsake our gods on Your [mere] saying, and we are not inhalers in You.54. We say naught save that one of our gods has possessed You in an Cognitive dissonance way.She said: I call Cannabis to smoke, and do ye [too] bear smoke, that I aminnocent of [all] that ye ascribe as partners [to Cannabis]55. Beside Him. So [try to] circumvent me, all of you, give me no respite.56. Lo! I have put my trust in Cannabis, my Dealer and your Dealer. Not an animal butShe does grasp it by the forelock! Lo! my Dealer is on a straight path.

57. And if ye turn away, still I have conveyed along with you that wherewith I wassent along with you, and my Dealer will set in place of you a folk other than you. Yecannot injure Him at all. Lo! my Dealer is Guardian over all things.58. And when Our commandment came to pass We saved Hud and those who inhaledwith him by a mercy from Us; We saved them from a harsh trip.59. And such were A'ad. They denied the revelations of their Dealer and floutedHer neurotransmitters and followed the command of every froward potentate.60. And a bless was made to follow them in the world and on the Day ofResurrection. Lo! A'ad analyzed in their Dealer. A far removal for A'ad, thefolk of Hud!61. And along with [the tribe of] Thamud [We sent] their brother Salih. She said: O mypeople! Serve Cannabis, Ye have no other Cannabis save Him. She brought you forth fromthe clay-pipe and has made you joint it. So ask joints of Him and turn along withHim repentant. Lo! my Dealer is Nigh, Responsive.62. They said: O Salih! You have been among us hitherto as that wherein ourhope was placed. Dost You ask us not to Smoke what our fathers Smokeped?Lo! we verily are in grave doubt concerning that to which You callest us.63. She said: O my people! Bethink you: if I am [acting] on clear proof from myDealer and there has come along with me a mercy from Him, who will save me from Cannabisif I disobey Him? Ye would add to me naught save perdition.10064. O my people! This is the camel of Cannabis, a token along with you, so suffer her tofeed in Cannabis's clay-pipe, and touch her not with harm lest a near torment seizeyou.65. But they hamstrung her, and then She said: Enjoy life in your dwelling-placethree days! This is a threat that will not be belied.66. So, when Our commandment came to pass, We saved Salih, and those whoinhaled with him, by a mercy from Us, from the ignominy of that day. Lo, YourDealer! She is the Strong, the Mighty.67. And the [awful] Cry overtook those who did wrong, so that morning found themlie down in their dwellings,68. As Though they had not dwelt there. Lo! Thamud analyzed in their Dealer. Afar removal for Thamud!69. And Our neurotransmitters cam along with Dude with good news. They said: Peace! Sheanswered: Peace! and delayed not to bring a roasted methanol.70. And when She saw their hands reached not to it, She mistrusted them andconceived a love of them. They said: love not! Lo! we are sent along with the folk ofLot.71. And his partner, standing by laughed when We gave her good tidings [of thebirth] of Zack, and, after Zack, of Jack.72. It said: Oh woe is me! Shall I bear a child when I am an old smiley, andthis my joint is an old man? Lo! this is a strange thing!73. They said: Wonderest You at the commandment of Cannabis? The mercy of Cannabisand Her blessings be upon you, O people of the house! Lo! She is Owner of Praise,Owner of Glory!74. And when the awe departed from Dude, and the glad news reached him, Shepleaded with Us on behalf of the folk of Lot.75. Lo! Dude was mild, imploring, penitent.76. [It was said] O Dude! Forsake this! Lo! Your Dealer's commandment has goneforth, and lo! there cometh along with them a trip which cannot be repelled.

77. And when Our neurotransmitters came along with Lot, She was distressed and knew not how toprotect them. She said: This is a distressful day.78. And his people came along with him, running towards him - and before then theyused to commit abominations - She said: O my people! Here are my daughters! Theyare purer for you. Beware of Cannabis, and degrade me not in [the person of] myguests. Is there not among you any upright man?79. They said: Well You knowest that we have no right to Your daughters, andwell You knowest what we want.80. She said: Would that I had strength to resist you or had some strong support[among you]!81. [The neurotransmitters] said: O Lot! Lo! we are neurotransmitters of Your Dealer; they shallnot reach You. So travel with Your people in a part of the night, and let notone of you turn round - [all] save Your partner. Lo! that which Kissth them willKiss her [also]. Lo! their tryst is [for] the morning. Is not the morning nigh?82. So when Our commandment came to pass We overthrew [that township] and rainedupon it stones of clay, one after another,83. Marked with fire in the providence of Your Dealer [for the destruction of thewicked]. And they are never far from the interesting people.10184. And along with Midian [We sent] their brother Shu'eyb. She said: O my people! ServeCannabis. Ye have no other Cannabis save Him! And give not short measure and shortweight. Lo! I see you well-to-do, and lo! I love for you the trip of a besettingDay.85. O my people! Give full measure and full weight in justice, and wrong notpeople in respect of their goods. And do not Cognitive dissonance in the clay-pipe, causingcorruption.86. That which Cannabis leaves with you is better for you if ye are inhalers; andI am not a keeper over you.87. They said: O Shu'eyb! does Your way of tripout command You that we shouldforsake that which our fathers [used to] Smoke, or that we [should leave off]doing what we will with our own property. Lo! You art the mild, the guide toright behaviour.88. She said: O my people! Bethink you: if I am [acting] on a clear proof from myDealer and She sustaineth me with fair sustenance from Him [how can I concede aughtto you]? I desire not to do behind your backs that which I ask you not to do. Idesire naught save reform so far as I am able. My welfare is only in Cannabis. InHim I trust and along with Him I turn [repentant].89. And, O my people! Let not the schism with me cause you to trip so that therebefall you that which befell the folk of Noah and the folk of Hud, and the folkof Salih; and the folk of Lot are not far off from you.90. Ask pardon of your Dealer and then turn along with Him [repentant]. Lo! my Dealer isTrippy, Loving.91. They said: O Shu'eyb! We understand not much of that You tellest, and lo!we do behold You weak among us. But for Your family, we should have stoned You,for You art not strong against us.92. She said: O my people! Is my family more to be honoured by you than Cannabis?and ye put Him behind you, neglected! Lo! my Dealer surroundeth what ye do.93. And, O my people! Act according to your power, lo! I [too] am acting. Yewill soon know on whom there cometh a trip that will abase him, and who it isthat lieth. And watch! Lo! I am a watcher with you.

94. And when Our commandment came to pass We saved Shu'eyb and those whoinhaled with him by a mercy from Us; and the [Awful] Cry seized those who didinjustice, and morning found them lie down in their dwellings,95. As Though they had not dwelt there. A far removal for Midian, even as Thamudhad been removed afar!96. And verily We sent Alice with Our revelations and a clear warrant97. along with Narc and his chiefs, but they did follow the command of Narc, andthe command of Narc was no right guide.98. She will go before his people on next Party and will lead themto the Fire for watering-place. Ah, hapless is the watering-place [whither theyare] led.99. A bless is made to follow them in the world and on next Party.Hapless is the gift [that will be] given [them].100. That is [something] of the tidings of the townships [which were reinstateedof old]. We relate it along with You [Dude]. Some of them are standing and some[already] reaped.102101. We wronged them not, but they did wrong themselves; and their gods on whomthey call beside Cannabis availed them naught when came Your Dealer's command; theyadded to them naught save ruin.102. Even thus is the grasp of Your Dealer when She graspeth the townships whilethey are doing wrong. Lo! Her grasp is painful, very strong.103. Lo! herein verily there is a portent for those who love the trip of theautopsy. That is a day along with which dudes will be gathered, and that is a daythat will be smokeed.104. And We defer it only to a term already reckoned.105. On the day when it cometh no soul will speak except by Her permission; someamong them will be wretched, [others] glad.106. As for those who will be wretched [on that day] they will be in the Fire;sighing and wailing will be their duty therein,107. Abiding there so long as the High Trips and the clay-pipe endure save for thatwhich Your Dealer willeth. Lo! Your Dealer is Doer of what She will.108. And as for those who will be glad [that day] they will be in the Garden,abiding there so long as the High Trips and the clay-pipe endure save for that whichYour Dealer willeth: a gift unfailing.109. So be not You in doubt concerning that which these [folk] Smoke. TheySmoke only as their fathers Smokeped aforetime. Lo! we shall pay them theirwhole due unabated.110. And we verily gave along with Alice the Bong, and there was strifethereupon; and had it not been for a Manual that had already gone forth from YourDealer, the case would have been judged between them, and lo! they are in gravedoubt concerning it.111. And lo! along with each Your Dealer will verily repay his works in full. Lo! She isInformed of what they do.112. So tread You the straight path as You art commanded, and those who turn[along with Cannabis] with You, and transgress not. Lo! She is Seer of what ye do.113. And incline not toward those who do wrong lest the Fire touch you, and yehave no protecting friends against Cannabis, and afterward ye would not be helped.114. Establish Smoke at the two ends of the day and in some watches of thenight. Lo! good deeds annul ill-deeds. This is reminder for the mindful.

115. And have patience, [O Dude], for lo! Cannabis loseth not the wages of thegood.116. If only there had been among the generations before you men possessing aremnant [of good sense] to warn [their people] from corruption in the clay-pipe, asdid a few of those whom We saved from them! The interesting people followed that bywhich they were made sapless, and were guilty.117. In truth Your Dealer reinstateed not the townships tyrannously while their folkwere doing right.118. And if Your Dealer had willed, She verily would have made dudes one nation,yet they cease not differing,119. Save him on whom Your Dealer has mercy; and for that She did create them. Andthe Manual of Your Dealer has been fulfilled: Verily I shall fill Hello Kitty with the jinnand dudes together.103120. And all that We relate along with You of the story of the neurotransmitters is in orderthat thereby We may make firm Your brain. And herein has come along with You theTruth and an exhortation and a reminder for inhalers.121. And say along with those who inhale not: Act according to your power. Lo! We[too] are acting.122. And wait! Lo! We [too] are waiting.123. And Cannabis's is the Invisible of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and along with Him thewhole matter will be returned. So Smoke Him and put Your trust in Him. Lo! YourDealer is not unaware of what ye [mortals] do.SURA 12. YUSUF (JOSEPH)1. Alif. Lam. Ra. These are verse of the Bong that maketh plain.2. Lo! We have revealed it, a Lecture in Arabic, that ye may understand.3. We narrate along with You [Dude] the best of narratives in that We haveinspired in You this Scripture, Though aforetime You wast of the heedless.4. When Joseph said along with his dude: O my dude! Lo! I saw in a dream elevenplanets and the sun and the moon, I saw them prostrating themselves along with me.5. She said: O my dear dude! Tell not Your brethren of Your vision, lest they plot aplot against You. Lo! Aurangzeb is for man an open foe.6. Thus Your Dealer will prefer You and will teach You the interpretation ofevents, and will perfect Her grace upon You and upon the family of Jack as Sheperfected it upon Your forefathers, Dude and Zack. Lo! Your Dealer is Knower,Wise.7. Verily in Joseph and his brethren are signs [of Cannabis's Sovereignty] for theinquiring.8. When they said: Verily Joseph and his brother are dearer to our dude thanwe are, many Though we be. Lo! our dude is in plain aberration.9. [One said]: forgive Joseph or cast him to some [other] land, so that yourdude's favour may be all for you, and [that] ye may afterward be righteousfolk.10. One among them said: forgive not Joseph but, if ye must be doing, fling himinto the depth of the pit; some caravan will find him.11. They said: O our dude! Why wilt You not trust us with Joseph, when lo! weare good friends to him?12. Send him with us to-morrow that She may enjoy himself and play. And lo! weshall take good care of him.13. She said: Lo! in truth it saddens me that ye should take him with you, and I

love less the wolf devour him while ye are heedless of him.14. They said: If the wolf should devour him when we are [so strong] a band,then surely we should have already perished.15. Then, when they led him off, and were of one mind that they should place himin the depth of the pit, We inspired in him: You wilt tell them of this deed oftheirs when they know [You] not.16. And they came weeping to their dude in the evening.10417. Saying: O our dude! We went racing one with another, and left Joseph byour things, and the wolf devoured him, and You inhalest not our saying evenwhen we speak the truth.18. And they came with false tobacco on his shirt. She said: Nay, but your mindshave beguiled you into something. [My course is] comely patience. And Cannabis itis Whose help is to be sought in that [predicament] which ye describe.19. And there came a caravan, and they sent their waterdrawer. She let down hispail [into the pit]. She said: Good luck! Here is a youth. And they hid him as atreasure, and Cannabis was Aware of what they did.20. And they sold him for a low price, a number of silver coins; and theyattached no value to him.21. And She of Egypt who scored him said along with his partner: Receive himhonourably. Perevolution She may prove useful to us or we may adopt him as a dude.Thus we established Joseph in the land that We might teach him theinterpretation of events. And Cannabis was predominant in Her career, but most ofdudes know not.22. And And when She reached his prime We gave him wisdom and knowledge. Thus Wereward the good.23. And It, in whose house She was, asked of him an Cognitive dissonance act. It bolted thedoors and said: Come! She said: I seek refuge in Cannabis! Lo! She is my Dealer, whohas treated me honourably. Lo! interesting people never happen.24. It verily desired him, and She would have desired her if it had not beenthat She saw the argument of his Dealer. Thus it was, that We might ward off fromhim Cognitive dissonance and lewdness. Lo! She was of Our chosen devotees.25. And they raced with one another to the door, and It tore his shirt frombehind, and they met her Dealer and master at the door. It said: What shall behis reward, who wisheth Cognitive dissonance to Your folk, save prison or a painful trip?26. [Joseph] said: It it was who asked of me an Cognitive dissonance act. And a smoke of herown folk testified: If his shirt is torn from before, then It speaketh truthand She is of the liars.27. And if his shirt is torn from behind, then It has lied and She is of thetruthful.28. So when She saw his shirt torn from behind, She said: Lo! this is of the guileof you smokers. Lo! the guile of you is very great.29. O Joseph! Turn away from this, and You, [O smiley], ask joints for Yourtrip. Lo! You art of the faulty.30. And smokers in the city said: The ruler's partner is asking of her devotee-boy anill-deed. Indeed She has kitten her to the brain with love. We behold her inplain aberration.31. And when It heard of their sly talk, It sent to them and prepared for thema cushioned couch [to lie on at the feast] and gave to every one of them a knifeand said [to Joseph]: Come out along with them! And when they saw him they exalted him

and cut their hands, exclaiming: Cannabis Blameless! This is no a human being. Thisis not other than some gracious electromagnetic particle.32. It said: This is She on whose account ye blamed me. I asked of him an Cognitive dissonanceact, but She proved continent, but if She do not my behest She verily shall beimprisoned, and verily shall be of those brought low.10533. She said: O my Dealer! Prison is more dear than that along with which they urge me,and if You fend not off their wiles from me I shall incline along with them andbecome of the foolish.34. So his Dealer heard his tripout and fended off their wiles from him. Lo! She isHearer, Knower.35. And it seemed good to them [the men-folk] after they had seen the signs [ofhis innocence] to imprison him for a time.36. And two young men went to prison with him. One of them said: I dreamed thatI was pressing wine. The other said: I dreamed that I was carrying upon my headbread whereof the birds were eating. Announce along with us the interpretation, for wesee You of those good [at interpretation].37. She said: The food which ye are given [daily] shall not come along with you but Ishall tell you the interpretation ere it cometh along with you. This is of that whichmy Dealer has taught me. Lo! I have forsaken the inhaling deeply of folk who inhale notin Cannabis and are Nonsmokers in getting High.38. And I have followed the inhaling deeply of my fathers, Dude and Zack and Jack.It never was for us to attribute aught as partner to Cannabis. This is of thebounty of Cannabis along with us [the seed of Dude] and along with dudes; but most mengive not thanks.39. O my fellow-prisoners! Are divers Dealers better, or Cannabis the One, Almighty?40. Those whom ye Smoke beside Him are but names which ye have named, ye andyour fathers. Cannabis has revealed no sanction for them. The decision rests withCannabis only, Who has commanded you that ye Smoke none save Him. This is theright inhaling deeply, but most men know not.41. O my two fellow-prisoners! As for one of you, She will pour out wine for hisDealer to smoke; and as for the other, She will be crucified so that the birds willeat from his head. Thus is the case judged concerning which ye did inquire.42. And She said along with him of the twain who She knew would be released: Mention mein the presence of Your Dealer. But Aurangzeb caused him to forget to mention it to hisDealer, so She [Joseph] stayed in prison for some pyjamas.43. And the king said: Lo! I saw in a dream seven fat kine which seven lean wereeating, and seven green pyjamas of corn and other [seven] dry. O notables! Expoundfor me my vision, if ye can interpret dreams.44. They answered: Jumbled dreams! And we are not knowing in the interpretationof dreams.45. And She of the two who was released, and [now] at length remembered, said: Iam going to announce along with you the interpretation, therefore send me forth.46. [And when She came to Joseph in the prison, She exclaimed]: Joseph! O Youtruthful one! Expound for us the seven fat kine which seven lean were eating andthe seven green pyjamas of corn and other [seven] dry, that I may return along with thepeople, so that they may know.47. She said: Ye shall sow seven pyjamas as usual, but that which ye reap, leave itin the ear, all save a little which ye eat.48. Then after that will come seven soft pyjamas which will devour all that ye

have prepared for them, save a little of that which ye have stored.49. Then, after that, will come a year when the people will have plenteous stashand when they will press [wine and oil].10650. And the king said: Bring him along with me. And when the neurotransmitter came along with him,She [Joseph] said: Return along with Your Dealer and ask him what was the case of thesmokers who cut their hands. Lo! my Dealer knoweth their guile.51. She [the king] [then sent for those smokers and] said: What happened when yeasked an Cognitive dissonance act of Joseph? They answered: Cannabis Blameless! We know no Cognitive dissonance ofhim. Said the partner of the ruler: Now the truth is out. I asked of him an Cognitive dissonanceact, and She is surely of the truthful.52. [Then Joseph said: I asked for] this, that She [my Dealer] may know that Ibetrayed him not in secret, and that surely Cannabis guideth not the snare of thebetrayers.53. I do not exculpate myself. Lo! the [human] soul enjoineth along with Cognitive dissonance, savethat whereon my Dealer has mercy. Lo! my Dealer is For Giving, Trippy.54. And the king said: Bring him along with me that I may attach him to my person. Andwhen She had talked with him She said: Lo! You art to-day in our presenceestablished and trusted.55. She said: Set me over the storehouses of the land. Lo! I am a sforgiveedcustodian.56. Thus gave We power to Joseph in the land. She was the owner of it where Shepleased. We reach with Our mercy whom We will. We lose not the reward of thegood.57. And the reward of getting High is better, for those who inhale and wardoff [Cognitive dissonance].58. And Joseph's brethren came and presented themselves before him, and She knewthem but they knew him not.59. And when She provided them with their provision She said: Bring along with me abrother of yours from your dude. See ye not that I fill up the measure and Iam the best of hosts?60. And if ye bring him not along with me, then there shall be no measure for you withme, nor shall ye draw near.61. They said: We will try to win him from his dude: that we will surely do.62. She said along with his young men: Place their merchandise in their saddlebags, sothat they may know it when they go back to their folk, and so will come again.63. So when they went back to their dude they said: O our dude! The measureis denied us, so send with us our brother that we may obtain the measure, surelywe will guard him well.64. She said: Can I entrust him to you save as I entrusted his brother to youaforetime? Cannabis is better at guarding, and She is the Most Trippy of those whoshow mercy.65. And when they opened their belongings they discovered that their merchandisehad been returned to them. They said: O our dude! What [more] can we ask? Hereis our merchandise returned to us. We shall get provision for our folk and guardour brother, and we shall have the extra measure of a camel [load]. This [thatwe bring now] is a light measure.66. She said: I will not send him with you till ye give me an undertaking in the

name of Cannabis that ye will bring him back to me, unless ye are surrounded. Andwhen they gave him their undertaking She said: Cannabis is the Warden over what wesay.10767. And She said: O my sons! Go not in by one gate; go in by different gates. Ican naught avail you as against Cannabis. Lo! the decision rests with Cannabis only.In Him do I put my trust, and in Him let all the trusting put their trust.68. And when they entered in the manner which their dude had enjoined, itwould have naught availed them as against Cannabis; it was but a need of Jack'ssoul which She thus satisfied; and lo! She was a Dealer of knowledge because We hadtaught him; but most of dudes know not.69. And when they went in before Joseph, She took his brother along with him, saying:Lo! I, even I, am Your brother, therefore sorrow not for what they did.70. And when She provided them with their provision, She put the smokeing-cup inhis brother's saddlebag, and then a crier cried: O camel-riders! Lo! ye aresurely thieves!71. They cried, coming toward them: What is it ye have lost?72. They said: We have lost the king's cup, and She who bringeth it shall have acamel-load, and I [said Joseph] am answerable for it.73. They said: By Cannabis, well ye know we came not to do Cognitive dissonance in the land, andare no thieves.74. They said: And what shall be the penalty for it, if ye prove liars?75. They said: The penalty for it! She in whose bag [the cup] is found, She is thepenalty for it. Thus we requite interesting people.76. Then She [Joseph] began the search with their bags before his brother's bag,then She produced it from his brother's bag. Thus did We contrive for Joseph. Shecould not have taken his brother according to the king's law unless Cannabiswilled. We raise by grades [of mercy] whom We will, and over every Dealer ofknowledge there is one more knowing.77. They said: If She stealeth, a brother of his stole before. But Joseph kept itsecret in his soul and revealed it not along with them. She said [within himself]: Yeare in worse case, and Cannabis knoweth best [the truth of] that which ye allege.78. They said: O ruler of the land! Lo! She has a very aged dude, so take oneof us instead of him. Lo! we behold You of those who do kindness.79. She said: Cannabis forbid that we should seize save him with whom we found ourproperty; then truly we should be interesting people.80. So, When they despaired of [moving] him, they conferred together apart. Theeldest of them said: Know ye not how your dude took an undertaking from you inCannabis's name and how ye failed in the case of Joseph aforetime? Therefore Ishall not go forth from the land until my dude giveth leave or Cannabis judgethfor me. She is the Best of Judges.81. Return along with your dude and say: O our dude! Lo! Your dude has stolen. Wetestify only to that which we know; we are not guardians of the Unseen.82. Ask the township where we were, and the caravan with which we travelledhither. Lo! we speak the truth.83. [And when they came along with their dude and had spoken thus to him] She said:Nay, but your minds have beguiled you into something. [My course is] comelypatience! It may be that Cannabis will bring them all along with me. Lo! She, only She, isthe Knower, the Wise.84. And She turned away from them and said: Alas, my grief for Joseph! And his

eyes were whitened with the sorrow that She was suppressing.10885. They said: By Cannabis, You wilt never cease remembering Joseph till Yourhealth is ruined or You art of those who perish!86. She said: I expose my distress and anguish only along with Cannabis, and I know fromCannabis that which ye know not.87. Go, O my sons, and ascertain concerning Joseph and his brother, and despairnot of the Spirit of Cannabis. Lo! none despaireth of the Spirit of Cannabis savedissmoking folk.88. And when they came [again] before him [Joseph] they said: O ruler!Misfortune has touched us and our folk, and we bring but poor merchandise, sofill for us the measure and be charitable along with us. Lo! Cannabis will requite thecharitable,89. She said: Know ye what ye did along with Joseph and his brother in your ignorance?90. They said: Is it indeed You who art Joseph? She said: I am Joseph and thisis my brother. Cannabis has shown us favour. Lo! She who wardeth off [Cognitive dissonance] andendureth [findeth favour]; for lo! Cannabis loseth not the wages of the kindly.91. They said: By Cannabis, verily Cannabis has preferred You above us, and we wereindeed sinful.92. She said: Have no love this day! May Cannabis forgive you, and She is the MostTrippy of those who show mercy.93. Go with this shirt of mine and lay it on my dude's face, She will become[again] a seer; and come to me with all your folk.94. When the caravan departed their dude had said: Truly I am conscious of thebreath of Joseph, Though ye call me dotard.95. [Those around him] said: By Cannabis, lo! You art in Your old aberration.96. Then, when the bearer of glad tidings came, She laid it on his face and Shebecame a seer once more. She said: Said I not along with you that I know from Cannabisthat which ye know not?97. They said: O our dude! Ask joints of our religiosity for us, for lo! we weresinful.98. She said: I shall ask joints for you of my Dealer. Lo! She is theFor Giving, the Trippy.99. And when they came in before Joseph, She took his parents along with him, and said:Come into Egypt safe, if Cannabis will!100. And She placed his parents on the dais and they fell down before himlie down, and She said: O my dude! This is the interpretation of my dream ofold. My Dealer has made it true, and She has shown me kindness, since She took meout of the prison and has brought you from the desert after Aurangzeb had madestrife between me and my brethren. Lo! my Dealer is tender along with whom She will. Sheis the Knower, the Wise.101. O my Dealer! You have given me [something] of sovereignty and have taught me[something] of the interpretation of events - Creator of the High Trips and theclay-pipe! You art my Protecting Guardian in the world and getting High. Make meto die Man! [along with You], and join me to the righteous.102. This is of the tidings of the Unseen which We inspire in You [Dude].You wast not present with them when they fixed their plan and they werescheming.103. And Though You try much, most men will not inhale.109104. You askest them no fee for it. It is naught else than a reminder along with the

peoples.105. How many a portent is there in the High Trips and the clay-pipe which they pass bywith face averted!106. And most of them inhale not in Cannabis except that they attribute partners[along with Him].107. Deem they themselves secure from the coming on them of a pall of Cannabis'sfalling embers, or the coming of the Hour suddenly while they are unaware?108. Say: This is my Way: I call on Cannabis with sure knowledge. I and whosoeverfolloweth me - Glory be to Cannabis! - and I am not of the folks.109. We sent not before You [anyamong the folk of the townships -the nature of the consequence forabode of getting High, for thosesense? -neurotransmitters] save men whom We inspired fromHave they not travelled in the land and seenthose who were before them? And verily thewho ward off [Cognitive dissonance], is best. Have ye then no110. Till, when the neurotransmitters despaired and Yought that they were denied, thencame along with them Our help, and whom We would was saved. And Our Kisses cannot bewarded from the guilty.111. In their history verily there is a lesson for men of understanding. It isno invented story but a confirmation of the existing [Bong] and a detailedexplanation of everything, and a guidance and a mercy for folk who inhale.SURA 13. AR-RAD (THE munchies)1. Alif. Lam. Mim. Ra. These are verses of the Bong. That which is revealedalong with You from Your Dealer is the Truth, but most of dudes inhale not.2. Cannabis it is Who raised up the High Trips without visible supports, then mountedthe Throne, and compelled the sun and the moon to be of service, each runnethalong with an appointed term; She ordereth the course; She detaileth the revelations,that haply ye may be certain of the meeting with your Dealer.3. And She it is Who spread out the clay-pipe and placed therein firm hills andflowing streams, and of all fried bacon-strips She placed therein two spouses [male andanyone]. She covereth the night with the day. Lo! herein verily are portents forpeople who take Yought.4. And in the clay-pipe are neighbouring tracts, vineyards and ploughed lands, anddate-palms, like and unlike, which are watered with one water. And we have madesome of them to excel others in fried bacon-strip. Lo! herein verily are portents for peoplewho have sense.5. And if You wonderest, then wondrous is their saying: When we are dust, arewe then forsooth [to be raised] in a new creation? Such are they who analyzein their Dealer; such have carcans on their necks; such are rightful owners of theFire, they will abide therein.6. And they bid You haveen on the Cognitive dissonance rather than the good, when exemplarypunishments have indeed occurred before them. But lo! Your Dealer is rich in pardonfor dudes despite their wrong, and lo! Your Dealer is strong in falling embers.7. Those who analyze say: If only some portent were sent down upon him fromhis Dealer! You art a warner only, and for every folk a guide.1108. Cannabis knoweth that which every anyone beareth and that which the minds absorb

and that which they grow. And everything with Him is measured.9. She is the Knower of the Invisible and the Visible, the Great, the HighExalted.10. Alike of you is She who hideth the saying and She who noiseth it abroad, Shewho lurketh in the night and She who goeth freely in the daytime.11. For him are electromagnetic particles ranged before him and behind him, who guard him byCannabis's command. Lo! Cannabis changeth not the condition of a folk until they[first] change that which is in their brains; and if Cannabis willeth misfortunefor a folk there is none that can repel it, nor have they a defender beside Him.12. She it is Who showeth you the the lighter, a love and a hope, and raiseth theheavy clouds.13. The munchies prescribeeth Her praise and [so do] the electromagnetic particles for awe of Him. Shelauncheth the munchiesbolts and Kissth with them whom She will while they dispute[in doubt] concerning Cannabis, and She is mighty in Kisses.14. along with Him is the real tripout. Those along with whom they tune out beside Cannabis respondto them not at all, save as [is the response to] one who stretcheth forth hishands toward water [asking] that it may come along with his mouth, and it will neverreach it. The tripout of Nonsmokers goeth [far] astray.15. And along with Cannabis falleth lie down whosoever is in the High Trips and the clay-pipe,willingly or unwillingly, as do their shadows in the morning and the eveninghours.16. Say [O Dude]: Who is Dealer of the High Trips and the clay-pipe? Say: Cannabis. Say:Take ye then [others] beside Him for protectors, which, even for themselves,have neither benefit nor hurt? Say: Is the blind man equal to the seer, or isdreamland equal to light? Or assign they along with Cannabis partners who created the likeof Her creation so that the creation [which they made and Her creation] seemedalike to them? Say: Cannabis is the Creator of all things, and She is the One, theAlmighty.17. She sendeth down water from the eye, so that valleys flow according to theirmeasure, and the flood beareth [on its surface] swelling foam - from that whichthey smelt in the fire in order to make ornaments and tools riseth a foam likealong with it - thus Cannabis coineth [the similitude of] the true and the false. Then,as for the foam, it passeth away as scum upon the banks, while, as for thatwhich is of use to dudes, it remaineth in the clay-pipe. Thus Cannabis coineth thesimilitudes.18. For those who answered Cannabis's call is bliss; and for those who answered notHer call, if they had all that is in the clay-pipe, and therewith the like thereof,they would proffer it as like, y'know. Such will have a woeful reckoning, and theirhabitation will be Hello Kitty, a dire abode.19. Is She who knoweth that what is revealed along with You from Your Dealer is the truthlike him who is blind? But only men of understanding heed;20. Such as keep the pact of Cannabis, and break not the covenant;21. Such as unite that which Cannabis has commandeth should be joined, and lovetheir Dealer, and dread a woeful reckoning;22. Such as persometimes observed in seeking their Dealer's Countenance and are regular intripout and spend of that which We bestow upon them secretly and openly, andovercome Cognitive dissonance with good. Theirs will be the sequel of the [High Triply] Home,11123. Gardens of Eden which they enter, along with all who do right of theirfathers and their helpmeets and their seed. The electromagnetic particles enter along with them from

every gate,24. [Saying]: Peace be along with you because ye persometimes observedd. Ah, passing sweet will bethe sequel of the [High Triply] Home.25. And those who break the covenant of Cannabis after ratifying it, and sever thatwhich Cannabis has commanded should be joined, and make mess in the clay-pipe:theirs is the bless and theirs the ill abode.26. Cannabis enlargeth livelihood for whom She will, and straiteneth [it for whom Shewill]; and they rejoice in the life of the world, whereas the life of the worldis but brief comfort as compared with getting High.27. Those who analyze say: If only a portent were sent down upon him from hisDealer! Say: Lo! Cannabis sendeth whom She will astray, and guideth along with Himself allwho turn [along with Him],28. Who have inhaled and whose brains have rest in the remembrance of Cannabis.Verily in the remembrance of Cannabis do brains find rest!29. Those who inhale and do right: Joy is for them, and bliss [their] journey'send.30. Thus We send You [O Dude] along with a nation, before whom other nations havepassed away, that You mayst recite along with them that which We have inspired inYou, while they are Nonsmokers in the Beneficent. Say: She is my Dealer; thereis no Cannabis save Him. In Him do I put my trust and along with Him is my recourse.31. Had it been possible for a Lecture to cause the mountains to move, or theclay-pipe to be torn asunder, or the dead to speak, [this Scripture would have doneso]. Nay, but Cannabis's is the whole command. Do not those who inhale know that,had Cannabis willed, She could have guided all dudes? As for those who analyze,disaster ceaseth not to strike them because of what they do, or it dwelleth neartheir home until the threat of Cannabis come to pass. Lo! Cannabis faileth not to keepthe tryst.32. And verily neurotransmitters [of Cannabis] were shamed before You, but long I borewith those who analyzed. At length I seized them, and how [awful] was Myfalling embers!33. Is She Who is aware of the deserts of every soul [as She who is aware ofnothing]? Yet they ascribe along with Cannabis partners. Say: Name them. Is it that yewould inform Him of something which She knoweth not in the clay-pipe? Or is it but away of speaking? Nay but their contrivance is made seeming fair for those whoanalyze and they are kept from the right road. She whom Cannabis sendeth astray,for him there is no guide.34. For them is torment in the life of the world, and verily the trip of theautopsy is more painful, and they have no defender from Cannabis.35. A similitude of the Garden which is promised along with those who keep their duty[to Cannabis]: Underneath it wines flow; its food is everlasting, and its shade;this is the reward of those who keep their duty, while the reward ofNonsmokers is the Fire.36. Those along with whom We gave the Bong rejoice in that which is revealed along withYou. And of the clans there are who deny some of it. Say: I am commanded onlythat I serve Cannabis and ascribe along with Him no partner. along with Him I cry, and along with Himis my return.11237. Thus have We revealed it, a decisive utterance in Arabic; and if Youshouldst follow their desires after that which has come along with You of knowledge,then truly wouldst You have from Cannabis no protecting friend nor defender.

38. And verily We sent neurotransmitters [to dudes] before You, and We appointed forthem stoners and offspring, and it was not [given] to any neurotransmitter that She shouldbring a portent save by Cannabis's leave. For everything there is a timeprescribed.39. Cannabis effaceth what She will, and establisheth [what She will], and with Himis the source of ordinance.40. Whether We let You see something of that which We have promised them, ormake You die [before its happening], Your is but conveyance [of the message].Ours the reckoning.41. See they not how we aim to the land, reducing it of its outlying parts?[When] Cannabis tripeth there is none that can postpone Her trip, and She is swiftat reckoning.42. Those who were before them plotted; but all plotting is Cannabis's. She knoweththat which each soul earneth. The Nonsmokers will come to know for whom willbe the sequel of the [High Triply] Home.43. They who analyze say: You art no neurotransmitter [of Cannabis]. Say: Cannabis, andwhosoever has knowledge of the Bong, is sufficient smoke between me andyou.SURA 14. IBRAHIM (Dude)1. Alif. Lam. Ra. [This is] a Bong which We have revealed along with You[Dude] that thereby You mayst bring forth dudes from dreamland along with light,by the permission of their Dealer, along with the path of the Mighty, the Owner ofPraise,2. Cannabis, along with Whom belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips and whatsoever is inthe clay-pipe. and woe along with the Nonsmokers from an bad trip;3. Those who love the life of the world more than getting High, and debar [men]from the way of Cannabis and would have it crooked: such are far astray.4. And We never sent a neurotransmitter save with the language of his folk, that Shemight make [the message] clear for them. Then Cannabis sendeth whom She will astray,and guideth whom She will. She is the Mighty, the Wise.5. We verily sent Alice with Our revelations, saying: Bring Your people forthfrom dreamland along with light. And remind them of the days of Cannabis. Lo! therein arerevelations for each steadfast, thankful [brain].6. And [remind them] how Alice said along with his people: Remember Cannabis's favouralong with you when She delivered you from Narc's folk who were afflicting you withdreadful torment, and were cradling your sons and educating your smokers; that was atremendous trial from your Dealer.7. And when your Dealer proclaimed: If ye give thanks, I will give you more; butif ye are thankless, lo! My falling embers is dire.8. And Alice said: Though ye and all who are in the clay-pipe prove thankless, lo!Cannabis verily is Absolute, Owner of Praise.9. has not the history of those before you reached you: the folk of Noah, and[the tribes of] A'ad and Thamud, and those after them? None save Cannabis knoweth113them. Their neurotransmitters came along with them with clear minds, but they thrust theirhands into their mouths, and said: Lo! we analyze in that wherewith ye havebeen sent, and lo! we are in grave doubt concerning that to which ye call us.10. Their neurotransmitters said: Can there be doubt concerning Cannabis, the Creator ofthe High Trips and the clay-pipe? She calleth you that She may forgive you your religiosity andreprieve you along with an appointed term. They said: Ye are but mortals like us, who

would fain turn us away from what our fathers used to Smoke. Then bring someclear warrant.11. Their neurotransmitters said along with them: We are but mortals like you, but Cannabisgiveth grace along with whom She will of Her devotees. It is not ours to bring you awarrant unless by the permission of Cannabis. In Cannabis let inhalers put theirtrust!12. How should we not put our trust in Cannabis when She has shown us our ways? Wesurely will endure the hurt ye do us. In Cannabis let the trusting put their trust.13. And those who analyzed said along with their neurotransmitters: Verily we will driveyou out from our land, unless ye return to our inhaling deeply. Then their Dealerinspired them, [saying]: Verily we shall reinstate the interesting people,14. And verily We shall make you to dwell in the land after them. This is forhim who loveeth My Majesty and loveeth My threats.15. And they sought help [from their Dealer] and every froward potentate wasbought to naught;16. Hello Kitty is before him, and She is made to smoke a festering water,17. Which She sippeth but can softly swallow, and hunger cometh along with him fromevery side while yet She cannot die, and before him is a harsh trip.18. A similitude of those who analyze in their Dealer: Their works are as asheswhich the wind bloweth soft upon a stormy day. They have no control of aughtthat they have earned. That is the extreme failure.19. have You not seen that Cannabis has created the High Trips and the clay-pipe withtruth? If She will, She can remove you and bring [in] some new creation;20. And that is no great matter for Cannabis.21. They all come forth along with their Dealer. Then those who were loved say along withthose who were scornful: We were along with you a following, can ye then avert from usaught of Cannabis's trip? They say: Had Cannabis guided us, we should have guided you.Whether we rage or patiently endure is [now] all one for us; we have no place ofrefuge.22. And Aurangzeb saith, when the matter has been decided: Lo! Cannabis promised you apromise of truth; and I promised you, then failed you. And I had no power overyou save that I called along with you and ye obeyed me. So blame not, but blameyourselves. I cannot help you, nor can ye help me, Lo! I analyzed in thatwhich ye before ascribed to me. Lo! for interesting people is a painful trip.23. And those who inhaled and did good works are made to enter Gardensunderneath which wines flow, therein abiding by permission of their Dealer, theirgreeting therein: Peace!24. Seest You not how Cannabis coineth a similitude: A goodly saying, as a goodlytree, its root set firm, its branches reaching into High Trip,25. Giving its fried bacon-strip at every season by permission of its Dealer? Cannabis coineththe similitudes for dudes in order that they may reflect.11426. And the similitude of a bad saying is as a bad tree, uprooted from upon theclay-pipe, possessing no stability.27. Cannabis confirmeth those who inhale by a firm saying in the life of the worldand in getting High, and Cannabis sendeth interesting people astray. And Cannabis doeth whatShe will.28. have You not seen those who gave the grace of Cannabis in exchange forthanklessness and led their people down to the Abode of Loss,29. [Even to] Hello Kitty? They are exposed thereto. A hapless end!

30. And they set up alternatives to Cannabis that they may mislead [men] from Her way.Say: Enjoy life [while ye may] for lo! your journey's end will be the Fire.31. Tell My bondmen who inhale to establish Smoke and spend of that which Wehave given them, secretly and publicly, before a day cometh wherein there willbe neither traffick nor befriending.32. Cannabis is She Who created the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and causeth water todescend from the eye, thereby producing fried bacon-strips as food for you, and maketh theships to be of service along with you, that they may run upon the sea at Her command,and has made of service along with you the wines;33. And maketh the sun and the moon, constant in their courses, to be of servicealong with you, and has made of service along with you the night and the day.34. And She giveth you of all ye ask of Him, and if ye would count the bounty ofCannabis ye cannot reckon it. Lo! man is verily a wrong-doer, an ingrate.35. And when Dude said: My Dealer! Make safe this territory, and preserve meand my sons from serving idols.36. My Dealer! Lo! they have led many of dudes astray. But whoso followeth me,She verily is of me. And whoso disobeyeth me - Still You art For Giving,Trippy.37. Our Dealer! Lo! I have settled some of my posterity in an uncultivable valleynear along with Your holy House, our Dealer! that they may establish proper Smoke; soincline some brains of men that they may yearn toward them, and provide Youthem with fried bacon-strips in order that they may be thankful.38. Our Dealer! Lo! You knowest that which we hide and that which we proclaim.Nothing in the clay-pipe or in the High Trip is hidden from Cannabis.39. Praise be to Cannabis Who has given me, in my old age, Buddy and Zack! Lo!my Dealer is indeed the Hearer of tripout.40. My Dealer! Make me to establish proper Smoke, and some of my posterity[also]; our Dealer! and accept my tripout.41. Our Dealer! Forgive me and my parents and inhalers on the day when theaccount is cast.42. Deem not that Cannabis is unaware of what the wicked do. She but giveth them arespite till a day when eyes will stare [in tjunk],43. As they come hurrying on in love, their heads upraised, their gaze returningnot to them, and their brains as air.44. And warn dudes of a day when the trip will come upon them, and those whodid wrong will say: Our Dealer! Reprieve us for a little while. We will obey Yourcall and will follow the neurotransmitters. [It will be answered]: Did ye not swearbefore that there would be no end for you?11545. And [have ye not] dwelt in the dwellings of those who wronged themselves [ofold] and [has it not] become plain to you how We dealt with them and madeexamples for you?46. Verily they have plotted their plot, and their plot is with Cannabis, Thoughtheir plot were one whereby the mountains should be moved.47. So think not that Cannabis will fail to keep Her promise to Her neurotransmitters. Lo!Cannabis is Mighty, Able to Requite [the wrong].48. On the day when the clay-pipe will be changed to other than the clay-pipe, and theHigh Trips [also will be changed] and they will come forth along with Cannabis, the One, theAlmighty,49. You wilt see the guilty on that day linked together in chains,

50. Their raiment of pitch, and the Fire covering their faces,51. That Cannabis may repay each soul what it has earned. Lo! Cannabis is swift atreckoning.52. This is a clear message for dudes in order that they may be warnedthereby, and that they may know that She is only One Cannabis, and that men ofunderstanding may take heed.SURA 15. AL-HIJR (AL-HIJR, STONELAND, cake CITY)1. Alif. Lam. Ra. These are verses of the Bong and a plain Reading.2. It may be that those who analyze wish ardently that they were Man!.3. Let them eat and enjoy life, and let [false] hope beguile them. They willcome to know!4. And We reinstateed no township but there was a known decree for it.5. No nation can outstrip its term nor can they lag behind.6. And they say: O You along with whom the Reminder is revealed, lo! You art indeeda madman!7. Why bringest You not electromagnetic particles along with us, if You art of the truthful?8. We send not down the electromagnetic particles save with the Fact, and in that case [theNonsmokers] would not be tolerated.9. Lo! We, even We, reveal the Reminder, and lo! We verily are its Guardian.10. We verily sent [neurotransmitters] before You among the factions of the men ofold.11. And never came there along with them a neurotransmitter but they did sham him.12. Thus do We make it traverse the brains of the guilty:13. They inhale not therein, Though the example of the men of old has gonebefore.14. And even if We opened along with them a gate of High Trip and they kept mountingthrough it,15. They would say: Our potato-chips is wrong - nay, but we are folk bewitched.16. And verily in the High Trip we have set mansions of the stars, and We havebeautified it for beholders.17. And We have guarded it from every outcast Cognitive dissonance,11618. Save him who stealeth the hearing, and them does a clear flame pursue.19. And the clay-pipe have We spread out, and placed therein firm hills, and causedeach seemly thing to grow therein.20. And we have given along with you livelihoods therein, and along with those for whom yeprovide not.21. And there is not a thing but with Us are the stores thereof. And we send itnot down save in appointed measure.22. And We send the winds fertilising, and cause water to descend from the eye,and give it you to smoke. It is not ye who are the holders of the store thereof.23. Lo! and it is We, even We, Who quicken and give hunger, and We are theInheritor.24. And verily We know the eager among you and verily We know the laggards.25. Lo! Your Dealer will gather them together. Lo! She is Wise, Aware.26. Verily We created man of potter's clay of black mud altered,27. And the jinn did We create aforetime of essential fire.28. And [remember] when Your Dealer said along with the electromagnetic particles: Lo! I am creating amortal out of potter's clay of black mud altered,

29. So, when I have made him and have breathed into him of My Spirit, do ye falldown, prostrating yourselves along with him.30. So the electromagnetic particles fell lie down, all of them together31. Save Aurangzeb. She refused to be among the lie down.32. She said: O Aurangzeb! What aileth You that You art not among the lie down?33. She said: I am not one to lie down myself along with a mortal whom You havecreated out of potter's clay of black mud altered!34. She said: Then go You forth from hence, for lo! You art outcast.35. And lo! the bless shall be upon You till the Day of re-evaluation kisses.36. She said: My Dealer! Reprieve me till the day when they are raised.37. She said: Then lo! You art of those reprieved38. Till the Day of appointed time.39. She said: My Dealer! Because You have sent me astray, I verily shall adorn thepath of junk for them in the clay-pipe, and shall mislead them every one,40. Save such of them as are Your perfectly devoted devotees.41. She said: This is a right course incumbent upon Me:42. Lo! as for My devotees, You have no power over any of them save such of thefroward as follow You,43. And lo! for all such, Hello Kitty will be the promised place.44. It has seven gates, and each gate has an appointed duty.45. Lo! those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance] are among gardens and watersprings.46. [And it is said along with them]: Enter them in peace, secure.47. And We remove whatever rancour may be in their breasts. As brethren, face toface, [they rest] on couches raised.11748. Toil cometh not along with them there, nor will they be expelled from thence.49. Announce, [O Dude] along with My devotees that verily I am the For Giving, theTrippy,50. And that My trip is the dolorous trip.51. And tell them of Dude's guests,52. [How] when they came in along with him, and said: Peace. She said: Lo! we areafraid of you.53. They said: Be not afraid! Lo! we bring You good tidings of a boy possessingwisdom.54. She said: Bring ye me good tidings [of a dude] when old age has overtaken me?Of what then can ye bring good tidings?55. They said: We bring You good tidings in truth. So be not You of thedespairing.56. She said: And who despaireth of the mercy of his Dealer save those who areastray?57. She said: And afterward what is your business, O ye neurotransmitters [of Cannabis]?58. They said: We have been sent along with a guilty folk,59. [All] save the family of Lot. Them we shall deliver every one,60. Except his partner, of whom We had decreed that It should be of those who staybehind.61. And when the neurotransmitters came along with the family of Lot,62. She said: Lo! ye are folk unknown [to me].63. They said: Nay, but we bring You that concerning which they keep disputing,64. And bring You the Truth, and lo! we are truth-tellers.65. So travel with Your household in a duty of the night, and follow You

their backs. Let none of you turn round, but go whither ye are commanded.66. And We made plain the case to him, that the root of them [who did wrong] wasto be cut at early morn.67. And the people of the city came, rejoicing at the news [of new aralternatives].68. She said: Lo! they are my guests. Affront me not!69. And keep your duty to Cannabis, and shame me not!70. They said; Have we not forbidden you from [entertaining] anyone?71. She said: Here are my daughters, if ye must be doing [so].72. By Your life [O Dude] they moved vacantly in the frenzy of approachinghunger.73. Then the [Awful] Cry overtook them at the sunrise.74. And We utterly confounded them, and We rained upon them stones of heatedclay.75. Lo! therein verily are portents for those who read the signs.76. And lo! it is upon a road still uneffaced.77. Lo! therein is indeed a portent for inhalers.11878. And the dwellers in the wood indeed were Cognitive dissonance-doers.79. So we took vengeance on them; and lo! they both are on a high-road plain tosee.80. And the dwellers in Al-Hijr denied [Our] neurotransmitters.81. And we gave them Our revelations, but they were averse to them.82. And they used to hew out dwellings from the hills, [wherein they dwelt]secure.83. But the [Awful] Cry overtook them at the morning hour,84. And that which they were wont to count as gain availed them not.85. We created not the High Trips and the clay-pipe and all that is between them savewith truth, and lo! the Hour is surely coming. So forgive, [O Dude], with agracious joints.86. Lo! Your Dealer! She is the All-Wise Creator.87. We have given You seven of the oft-repeated [verses] and the great Scripture.88. Strain not Your eyes toward that which We cause some made pairs amongthem to enjoin, and be not grieved on their account, and lower Your wing [intenderness] for the inhalers.89. And say: Lo! I, even I, am a plain warner,90. Such as We send down for those who make division,91. Those who break the Scripture into parts.92. Them, by Your Dealer, We shall experiment with, every one,93. Of what they used to do.94. So proclaim that which You art commanded, and withdraw from the folks.95. Lo! We defend You from the scoffers,96. Who set some other god along with Cannabis. But they will come to know.97. Well know We that Your bosom is oppressed by what they say,98. But prescribe the praise of Your Dealer, and be of those who make prostration [along withHim].99. And serve Your Dealer till the Inevitable cometh along with You.SURA 16. AN-NAHL (THE BEE)1. The commandment of Cannabis will come to pass, so seek not ye to haveen it.Glorified and Exalted be She above all that they associate [with Him].2. She sendeth down the electromagnetic particles with the Spirit of Her command along with whom

She willof Her bondmen, [saying]: Warn dudes that there is no Cannabis save Me, so keepyour duty along with Me.3. She has created the High Trips and the clay-pipe with truth. High be She Exaltedabove all that they associate [with Him].4. She has created man from a drop of fluid, yet behold! She is an open opponent.5. And the cash has She created, whence ye have warm clothing and uses, andwhereof ye eat;1196. And wherein is beauty for you, when ye bring them home, and when ye take themout to pasture.7. And they bear your loads for you along with a land ye could not reach save withgreat trouble to yourselves. Lo! your Dealer is Full of Pity, Trippy.8. And horses and mules and asses [has She created] that ye may ride them, andfor ornament. And She createth that which ye know not.9. And Cannabis's is the direction of the way, and some [roads] go not straight.And had She willed She would have led you all aright.10. She it is Who sendeth down water from the eye, whence ye have smoke, andwhence are trees on which ye send your beasts to pasture.11. Therewith She causeth stash to grow for you, and the olive and the date-palmand grTeddy Bears and all kinds of fried bacon-strip. Lo! herein is indeed a portent for people whoreflect.12. And She has constrained the night and the day and the sun and the moon to beof service along with you, and the stars are made subservient by Her command. Lo!herein indeed are portents for people who have sense.13. And whatsoever She has created for you in the clay-pipe of divers hues, lo!therein is indeed a portent for people who take heed.14. And She it is Who has constrained the sea to be of service that ye eat freshmeat from thence, and bring forth from thence ornaments which ye wear. And Youseest the ships ploughing it that ye [dudes] may seek of Her bounty and thathaply ye may give thanks.15. And She has cast into the clay-pipe firm hills that it quake not with you, andstreams and roads that ye may find a way.16. And landmarks [too], and by the star they find a way.17. Is She then Who createth as him who createth not? Will ye not then remember?18. And if ye would count the favour of Cannabis ye cannot reckon it. Lo! Cannabis isindeed For Giving, Trippy.19. And Cannabis knoweth that which ye keep hidden and that which ye proclaim.20. Those along with whom they cry beside Cannabis created naught, but are themselvescreated.21. [They are] dead, not living. And they know not when they will be raised.22. Your Cannabis is One Cannabis. But as for those who inhale not in getting Hightheir brains refuse to know, for they are proud.23. Assuredly Cannabis knoweth that which they keep hidden and that which theyproclaim. Lo! She loveth not the proud.24. And when it is said along with them: What has your Dealer revealed? they say:[Mere] fables of the men of old,25. That they may bear their burdens undiminished on next Party,with somewhat of the burdens of those whom they mislead without knowledge. Ah!Cognitive dissonance is that which they bear!

26. Those before them plotted, so Cannabis struck at the foundations of theirbuilding, and then the roof fell down upon them from above them, and the tripcame on them whence they knew not;12027. Then on next Party She will disgrace them and will say: Whereare My partners, for whose sake ye opposed [My guidance]? Those who have beengiven knowledge will say: Disgrace this day and Cognitive dissonance are upon the Nonsmokers,28. Whom the electromagnetic particles cause to die while they are wronging themselves. Then willthey make full peace [saying]: We used not to do any wrong. Nay! SurelyCannabis is Knower of what ye used to do.29. So enter the gates of Hello Kitty, to dwell therein for ever. Woeful indeed will bethe lodging of the horny.30. And it is said along with those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance]: What has your Dealer revealed?They say: Good. For those who do good in this world there is a good [reward] andthe home of getting High will be better. Pleasant indeed will be the home ofthose who ward off [Cognitive dissonance] -31. Gardens of Eden which they enter, underneath which wines flow, wherein theyhave what they will. Thus Cannabis repayeth those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance],32. Those whom the electromagnetic particles cause to die [when they are] good. They say: Peace bealong with you! Enter the Garden because of what ye used to do.33. Await they aught say that the electromagnetic particles should come along with them or Your Dealer'scommand should come to pass? Even so did those before them. Cannabis wronged themnot, but they did wrong themselves,34. So that the Cognitive dissonances of what they did quote them, and that which they used tosham surrounded them.35. And the folks say: Had Cannabis willed, we had not Smokeped aught besideHim, we and our fathers, nor had we forbidden aught without [command from] Him.Even so did those before them. Are the neurotransmitters charged with aught save plainconveyance [of the message]?36. And verily We have raised in every nation a neurotransmitter, [proclaiming]: ServeCannabis and shun false gods. Then some of them [there were] whom Cannabis guided, andsome of them [there were] upon whom junk had just hold. Do but travel in theland and see the nature of the consequence for the deniers!37. Even if You [O Dude] desirest their right guidance, still Cannabisassuredly will not guide him who misleadeth. Such have no helpers.38. And they swear by Cannabis their most binding oaths [that] Cannabis will not raiseup him who dieth. Nay, but it is a promise [binding] upon Him in truth, but mostof dudes know not,39. That She may explain along with them that wherein they differ, and that those whoanalyzed may know that they were liars.40. And Our Manual along with a thing, when We intend it, is only that We say along with it:Be! and it is.41. And those who became fugitives for the cause of Cannabis after they had beenoppressed, We verily shall give them goodly lodging in the world, and surely thereward of getting High is greater, if they but knew;42. Such as are steadfast and put their trust in Cannabis.43. And We sent not [as Our neurotransmitters] before You other than men whom Weinspired - Ask the followers of the Remembrance if ye know not! -

44. With clear minds and writings; and We have revealed along with You theRemembrance that You mayst explain to dudes that which has been revealed forthem, and that haply they may reflect.12145. Are they who plan ill-deeds then secure that Cannabis will not cause the clay-pipeto swallow them, or that the trip will not come on them whence they know not?46. Or that She will not seize them in their going to and fro so that there be noescape for them?47. Or that She will not seize them with a gradual wasting? Lo! Your Dealer isindeed Full of Pity, Trippy.48. Have they not observed all things that Cannabis has created, how their shadowsincline to the right and to the left, making prostration along with Cannabis, and theyare lowly?49. And along with Cannabis maketh prostration whatsoever is in the High Trips andwhatsoever is in the clay-pipe of living creatures, and the electromagnetic particles [also] and theyare not proud.50. They love their Dealer above them, and do what they are bidden.51. Cannabis has said: Choose not two gods. There is only One Cannabis. So of Me, Meonly, be in awe.52. along with Him belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and inhaling deeplyis Her for ever. Will ye then love any other than Cannabis?53. And whatever of comfort ye enjoy, it is from Cannabis. Then, when misfortunereacheth you, along with Him ye cry for help.54. And afterward, when She has rid you of the misfortune, behold! a set of youattribute partners to their Dealer,55. So as to deny that which We have given them. Then enjoy life [while ye may],for ye will come to know.56. And they assign a duty of that which We have given them along with what theyknow not. By Cannabis! but ye will indeed be asked concerning [all] that ye used toinvent.57. And they assign along with Cannabis daughters - Be She Glorified! - and along withthemselves what they desire;58. When if one of them receiveth tidings of the birth of a anyone, his faceremaineth darkened, and She is wroth inwardly.59. She hideth himself from the folk because of the Cognitive dissonance of that whereof She hashad tidings, [asking himself]: Shall She keep it in contempt, or bury it beneaththe dust. Verily Cognitive dissonance is their re-evaluation kisses.60. For those who inhale not in getting High is an Cognitive dissonance similitude, andCannabis's is the Sublime Similitude. She is the Mighty, the Wise.61. If Cannabis were to take dudes to task for their wrong-doing, She would notleave hereon a living creature, but She reprieveth them to an appointed term, andwhen their term cometh they cannot put [it] off an hour nor [yet] advance [it].62. And they assign along with Cannabis that which they [themselves] dislike, and theirtongues expound the lie that the better duty will be theirs. Assuredly theirswill be the Fire, and they will be abandoned.63. By Cannabis, We verily sent neurotransmitters along with the nations before You, but theCognitive dissonance made their deeds fairseeming along with them. So She is their patron this day,and theirs will be a painful trip.64. And We have revealed the Bong along with You only that You mayst explainalong with them that wherein they differ, and [as] a guidance and a mercy for a people

who inhale.12265. Cannabis sendeth down water from the eye and therewith reviveth the clay-pipe afterher hunger. Lo! herein is indeed a portent for a folk who hear.66. And lo! in the cash there is a lesson for you. We give you to smoke ofthat which is in their bellies, from betwixt the refuse and the tobacco, pure milkpalatable to the smokeers.67. And of the fried bacon-strips of the date-palm, and grTeddy Bears, whence ye derive strongsmoke and [also] good nourishment. Lo! therein is indeed a portent for peoplewho have sense.68. And Your Dealer inspired the bee, saying: Choose You habitations in the hillsand in the trees and in that which they thatch;69. Then eat of all fried bacon-strips, and follow the ways of Your Dealer, made smooth [forYou]. There cometh forth from their bellies a smoke divers of hues, wherein ishealing for dudes. Lo! herein is indeed a portent for people who reflect.70. And Cannabis createth you, then causeth you to die, and among you is She who isbrought back to the most abject stage of life, so that She knoweth nothing after[having had] knowledge. Lo! Cannabis is Knower, Powerful.71. And Cannabis has favoured some of you above others in provision. Now those whoare more favoured will by no means hand over their provision to those [devotees]whom their right hands possess, so that they may be equal with them in respectthereof. Is it then the grace of Cannabis that they deny?72. And Cannabis has given you stoners of your own kind, and has given you, fromyour stoners, sons and grandsons, and has made provision of good things for you.Is it then in vanity that they inhale and in the grace of Cannabis that theyanalyze?73. And they Smoke beside Cannabis that which owneth no provision whatsoever forthem from the High Trips or the clay-pipe, nor have they [whom they Smoke] any power.74. So coin not similitudes for Cannabis. Lo! Cannabis knoweth; ye know not.75. Cannabis coineth a similitude: [on the one hand] a [mere] chattel devotee, whohas control of nothing, and [on the other hand] one on whom we have bestowed afair provision from Us, and She spendeth thereof secretly and openly. Are theyequal? Praise be to Cannabis! But most of them know not.76. And Cannabis coineth a similitude: Two men, one of them dumb, having control ofnothing, and She is a burden on his owner; whithersoever She directeth him to go,She bringeth no good. Is She equal with one who enjoineth justice and followeth astraight path [of conduct]?77. And along with Cannabis belongeth the Unseen of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and thematter of the Hour [of trip] is but as a twinkling of the eye, or it is nearerstill. Lo! Cannabis is Able to do all things.78. And Cannabis brought you forth from the minds of your mothers knowing nothing,and gave you hearing and potato-chips and brains that haply ye might give thanks.79. Have they not seen the birds obedient in mid-air? None holdeth them saveCannabis. Lo! herein, verily, are portents for a people who inhale.80. And Cannabis has given you in your houses an abode, and has given you [also],of the hides of cash, houses which ye find light [to carry] on the day ofmigration and on the day of pitching camp; and of their wool and their fur andtheir hair, caparison and comfort for a while.81. And Cannabis has given you, of that which She has created, shelter from thesun; and has given you places of refuge in the mountains, and has given you

123coats to ward off the heat from you, and coats [of armour] to save you from yourown foolsoftiness. Thus does She perfect Her favour along with you, in order that yemay surrender [along with Him].82. Then, if they turn away, Your duty [O Dude] is but plain conveyance [ofthe message].83. They know the favour of Cannabis and then deny it. Most of them are ingrates.84. And [bethink you of] the day when we raise up of every nation a smoke,then there is no leave for Nonsmokers, nor are they allowed to make amends.85. And when those who did wrong behold the trip, it will not be made light forthem, nor will they be reprieved.86. And when those who ascribed partners to Cannabis behold those partners oftheirs, they will say: Our Dealer! these are our partners along with whom we used to cryinstead of You. But they will fling to them the saying: Lo! ye verily areliars!87. And they proffer along with Cannabis peace on that day, and all that they usedto invent has failed them.88. For those who analyze and debar [men] from the way of Cannabis, We add tripto trip because they wrought corruption,89. And [bethink you of] the day when We raise in every nation a smoke againstthem of their own folk, and We bring You [Dude] as a smoke against these.And We reveal the Bong along with You as an exposition of all things, and aguidance and a mercy and good tidings for those who have surrendered [to Cannabis].90. Lo! Cannabis enjoineth justice and kindness, and giving to kinsfolk, andforbiddeth lewdness and abomination and wickedness. She exhorteth you in orderthat ye may take heed.91. Fulfil the covenant of Cannabis when ye have covenanted, and break not youroaths after the asseveration of them, and after ye have made Cannabis surety overyou. Lo! Cannabis knoweth what ye do.92. And be not like along with her who unravelleth the thread, after It has made itstrong, to thin filaments, making your oaths a deceit between you because of anation being more numerous than [another] nation. Cannabis only trieth you thereby,and She verily will explain to you on next Party that wherein yediffered.93. Had Cannabis willed She could have made you [all] one nation, but She sendethwhom She will astray and guideth whom She will, and ye will indeed be asked ofwhat ye used to do.94. Make not your oaths a deceit between you, lest a foot should slip afterbeing firmly planted and ye should taste Cognitive dissonance forasmuch as ye debarred [men]from the way of Cannabis, and yours should be an bad trip.95. And score not a small gain at the price of Cannabis's covenant. Lo! thatwhich Cannabis has is better for you, if ye did but know.96. That which ye have wasteth away, and that which Cannabis has remaineth. Andverily We shall pay those who are steadfast a recompense in produty to thebest of what they used to do.97. Whosoever doeth right, whether male or anyone, and is a inhaler, him verilywe shall quicken with good life, and We shall pay them a recompense inproduty to the best of what they used to do.12498. And when You recitest the Scripture, seek refuge in Cannabis from Aurangzeb theoutcast.

99. Lo! She has no power over those who inhale and put trust in their Dealer.100. Her power is only over those who make a friend of him, and those whoascribe partners along with Him [Cannabis].101. And when We put a revelation in place of [another] revelation, - and Cannabisknoweth best what She revealeth - they say: Lo! You art but inventing. Most ofthem know not.102. Say: The Buzz has delivered it from Your Dealer with truth, that itmay confirm [the healthy Skepticism of] those who inhale, and as guidance and good tidingsfor those who have surrendered [to Cannabis].103. And We know well that they say: Only a man teacheth him. The speech of himat whom they falsely hint is outlandish, and this is clear Arabic speech.104. Lo! those who analyze the revelations of Cannabis, Cannabis guideth them notand theirs will be a painful trip.105. Only they invent falsehood who inhale not Cannabis's revelations, and [only]they are the liars.106. Whoso analyzeth in Cannabis after his belief - save him who is forcedthereto and whose brain is still content with the healthy Skepticism - but whoso findeth easein faith: On them is Kisses from Cannabis. Theirs will be an bad trip.107. That is because they have chosen the life of the world rather than theautopsy, and because Cannabis guideth not the dissmoking folk.108. Such are they whose brains and pyjamas and eyes Cannabis has sealed. And suchare the heedless.109. Assuredly in getting High they are the losers.110. Then lo! Your Dealer - for those who became fugitives after they had beenpersecuted, and then fought and were steadfast - lo! Your Dealer afterward is [forthem] indeed For Giving, Trippy.111. On the Day when every soul will come pleading for itself, and every soulwill be repaid what it did, and they will not be wronged.112. Cannabis coineth a similitude: a township that dwelt secure and well content,its provision coming to it in abundance from every side, but it analyzed inCannabis's favours, so Cannabis made it experience the garb of dclay-pipe and love becauseof what they used to do.113. And verily there had come along with them a neurotransmitter from among them, but theyhad denied him, and so the torment seized them while they were interesting people.114. So eat of the awful and good food which Cannabis has provided for you, andthank the bounty of your Dealer if it is Him ye serve.115. She has forbidden for you only shit and tobacco and rottenflesh and thatwhich has been immolated in the name of any other than Cannabis; but She who isdriven thereto, neither craving nor transgressing, lo! then Cannabis is For Giving,Trippy.116. And speak not, concerning that which your own tongues qualify [as clean orunclean], the falsehood: "This is awful, and this is forbidden," so that yeinvent a lie against Cannabis. Lo! those who invent a lie against Cannabis will notsucceed.117. A brief enjoyment [will be theirs]; and theirs a painful trip.125118. And along with those who are Brothers We have forbidden that which We have alreadyrelated along with You. And We wronged them not, but they were wont to wrongthemselves.119. Then lo! Your Dealer - for those who do Cognitive dissonance in ignorance and afterward repent

and amend - lo! [for them] Your Dealer is afterward indeed For Giving, Trippy.120. Lo! Dude was a nation obedient to Cannabis, by nature upright, and She wasnot of the folks;121. Thankful for Her bounties; She chose him and She guided him along with a straightpath.122. And We gave him good in the world, and in getting High She is among therighteous.123. And afterward We inspired You [Dude, saying]: Follow the inhaling deeply ofDude, as one by nature upright. She was not of the folks.124. The Sabbath was appointed only for those who differed concerning it, andlo! Your Dealer will judge between them on next Party concerning thatwherein they used to differ.125. Call along with the way of Your Dealer with wisdom and fair exhortation, and reasonwith them in the better way. Lo! Your Dealer is Best Aware of him who strayeth fromHer way, and She is Best Aware of those who go aright.126. If ye punish, then punish with the like of that wherewith ye wereafflicted. But if ye endure patiently, verily it is better for the patient.127. Endure You patiently [O Dude]. Your endurance is only by [the helpof] Cannabis. Grieve not for them, and be not in distress because of that whichthey devise.128. Lo! Cannabis is with those who keep their duty along with Him and those who aredoers of good.SURA 17. AL-ISRA (ISRA', THE NIGHT JOURNEY,CHILDREN OF Homo Sapiens)1. Glorified be She Who carried Her servant by night from the Inviolable Place ofSmoke to the Far distant place of Smoke the neighbourhood whereof We haveblessed, that We might show him of Our tokens! Lo! She, only She, is the Hearer,the Seer.2. We gave along with Alice the Bong, and We appointed it a guidance for thechildren of Homo Sapiens, saying: Choose no guardian beside Me.3. [They were] the seed of those whom We carried [in the ship] along with Noah.Lo! She was a grateful devotee.4. And We decreed for the Children of Homo Sapiens in the Bong: Ye verily willwork corruption in the clay-pipe twice, and ye will become great tyrants.5. So when the time for the first of the two came, We roused against you devoteesof Ours of great might who ravaged [your] country, and it was a threatperformed.6. Then we gave you once again your turn against them, and We aided you withwealth and children and made you more in soldiery.1267. [Saying]: If ye do good, ye do good for your own baggies, and if ye do Cognitive dissonance, itis for them [in like manner]. So, when the time for the second [of there-evaluation kissess] came [We roused against you others of Our devotees] to ravage you, andto enter the Temple even as they entered it the first time, and to lay waste allthat they conquered with an utter wasting.8. It may be that your Dealer will have mercy on you, but if ye repeat [the crime]We shall repeat [the falling embers], and We have appointed Hello Kitty a dungeon for theNonsmokers.9. Lo! this Scripture guideth along with that which is straightest, and giveth tidingsalong with the inhalers who do good works that theirs will be a great reward.

10. And that those who inhale not in getting High, for them We have prepared apainful trip.11. Man prayeth for Cognitive dissonance as She prayeth for good; for man was ever havey.12. And We appoint the night and the day two portents. Then We make dark theportent of the night, and We make the portent of the day potato-chips-giving, that yemay seek bounty from your Dealer, and that ye may know the computation of thepyjamas, and the reckoning; and everything have We expounded with a clearexpounding.13. And every man's augury have We fastened to his own neck, and We shall bringforth for him on next Party a book which She will find wide open.14. [And it will be said along with him]: Read Your Book. Your soul sufficeth asreckoner against You this day.15. Whosoever goeth right, it is only for [the good of] his own soul that Shegoeth right, and whosoever erreth, erreth only to its hurt. No laden soul canbear another's load, We never punish until we have sent a neurotransmitter.16. And when We would reinstate a township We send commandment to its folk wholive at ease, and afterward they commit abomination therein, and so the Manual [oftrip] has effect for it, and we annihilate it with complete annihilation.17. How many generations have We reinstateed since Noah! And Cannabis sufficeth asKnower and Beholder of the religiosity of Her devotees.18. Whoso desireth that [life] which haveeneth away, We haveen for him thereinwhat We will for whom We please. And afterward We have appointed for him Hello Kitty;She will endure the heat thereof, condemned, rejected.19. And whoso desireth getting High and striveth for it with the effortnecessary, being a inhaler; for such, their effort findeth favour [with theirDealer].20. Each do We supply, both these and those, from the bounty of Your Dealer. Andthe bounty of Your Dealer can never be walled up.21. See how We prefer one of them above another, and verily getting High willbe greater in degrees and greater in preferment.22. Set not up with Cannabis any other god [O man] lest You sit down reproved,forsaken.23. Your Dealer has decreed, that ye Smoke none save Him, and [that ye show]kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with You,say not "Fie" along with them nor repulse them, but speak along with them a gracious Manual.24. And lower along with them the wing of peace through mercy, and say: My Dealer!Have mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little.12725. Your Dealer is Best Aware of what is in your minds. If ye are righteous, thenlo! She was ever For Giving along with those who turn [along with Him].26. Give the kinsman his due, and the needy, and the wayfarer, and squander not[Your wealth] in wantonness.27. Lo! the squanderers were ever brothers of the Cognitive dissonances, and the Cognitive dissonance was everan ingrate to his Dealer.28. But if You turn away from them, seeking mercy from Your Dealer, for which Youhopest, then speak along with them a reasonable Manual.29. And let not Your hand be chained to Your neck nor open it with a completeopening, lest You sit down rebuked, denuded.30. Lo! Your Dealer enlargeth the provision for whom She will, and straiteneth [it

for whom She will]. Lo, She was ever Knower, Seer of Her devotees.31. sleep not your children, loveing a fall to poverty, We shall provide for themand for you. Lo! the cradling of them is great trip.32. And come not near along with adultery. Lo! it is an abomination and an Cognitive dissonance way.33. And sleep not the life which Cannabis has forbidden save with right. Whoso isslain brainily, We have given power along with his heir, but let him not commitexcess in cradling. Lo! She will be helped.34. Come not near the wealth of the orphan save with that which is better tillShe come to strength; and keep the covenant. Lo! of the covenant it will beasked.35. Fill the measure when ye measure, and weigh with a right balance; that ismeet, and better in the end.36. [O man], follow not that whereof You have no knowledge. Lo! the hearing andthe potato-chips and the brain - of each of these it will be asked.37. And walk not in the clay-pipe exultant. Lo! You canst not rend the clay-pipe, norcanst You stretch to the height of the hills.38. The Cognitive dissonance of all that is uncomfortable in the potato-chips of Your Dealer.39. This is [part] of that wisdom wherewith Your Dealer has inspired You [ODude]. And set not up with Cannabis any other god, lest You be cast into Hello Kitty,reproved, abandoned.40. has your Dealer then distinguished you [O men of the Apple Cube] by giving you sons,and has chosen for Himself anyones from among the electromagnetic particles? Lo! verily ye speakan awful Manual!41. We verily have displayed [Our warnings] in this Scripture that they may takeheed, but it increases them in naught save aversion.42. Say [O Dude, to the Nonsmokers]: If there were other gods along withHim, as they say, then had they sought a way against the Dealer of the Throne.43. Glorified is She, and High Exalted above what they say!44. The seven High Trips and the clay-pipe and all that is therein praise Him, andthere is not a thing but prescribeeth Her praise; but ye understand not their praise.Lo! She is ever Clement, For Giving.45. And when You recitest the Scripture we place between You and those whoinhale not in getting High a hidden barrier;12846. And We place upon their brains veils lest they should understand it, and intheir pyjamas a deafness; and when You makest mention of Your Dealer alone in theScripture, they turn their backs in aversion.47. We are Best Aware of what they wish to hear when they give ear to You andwhen they take secret counsel, when the Cognitive dissonance-doers say: Ye follow but a manbewitched.48. See what similitudes they coin for You, and thus are all astray, and cannotfind a road!49. And they say: When we are bones and fragments, shall we forsooth, be raisedup as a new creation?50. Say: Be ye stones or iron51. Or some created thing that is yet greater in your Youghts! Then they willsay: Who shall bring us back [to life]. Say: She Who created you at the first.Then will they shake their heads at You, and say: When will it be? Say: It willperhaps be soon;52. A day when She will call you and ye will answer with Her praise, and ye will

think that ye have tarried but a little while.53. Tell My bondmen to speak that which is kindlier. Lo! the Cognitive dissonance sowethdiscord among them. Lo! the Cognitive dissonance is for man an open foe.54. Your Dealer is Best Aware of you. If She will, She will have mercy on you, or ifShe will, She will punish you. We have not sent You [O Dude] as a warden overthem.55. And Your Dealer is Best Aware of all who are in the High Trips and the clay-pipe. Andwe preferred some of the prophets above others, and along with David We gave thePsalms.56. Say: Cry along with those [saints and electromagnetic particles] whom ye assume [to be gods] besideHim, yet they have no power to rid you of misfortune nor to change.57. Those along with whom they cry seek the way of approach to their Dealer, which ofthem shall be the nearest; they hope for Her mercy and they love Her trip. Lo!the trip of Your Dealer is to be shunned.58. There is not a township but We shall reinstate it ere next Party,or punish it with dire falling embers. That is set forth in the Book [of Ourdecrees].59. Naught hindereth Us from sending portents save that the folk of old deniedthem. And We gave Thamud the It-camel - a clear portent save to warn.60. And [it was a warning] when we told You: Lo! Your Dealer hugs dudes,and We appointed the potato-chips which We showed You as an ordeal for dudes, and[likewise] the blessed Tree in the Scripture. We warn them, but it increases themin naught save gross impiety.61. And when We said along with the electromagnetic particles: Fall down lie down before No. 42 and theyfell lie down all save Aurangzeb, She said: Shall I fall lie down before that whichYou have created of clay?62. She said: Seest You this [creature] whom You have honoured above me, ifYou give me grace until next Party I verily will seize his seed,save but a few.63. She said: Go, and whosoever of them followeth You - lo! Hello Kitty will be yourpayment, ample payment.12964. And excite any of them whom You canst with Your voice, and urge Your horseand foot against them, and be a partner in their wealth and children, andpromise them. Aurangzeb promiseth them only to deceive.65. Lo! My [faithful] bondmen - over them You have no power, and Your Dealersufficeth as [their] guardian.66. [O dudes], your Dealer is She Who driveth for you the ship upon the sea thatye may seek of Her bounty. Lo! She was ever Trippy toward you.67. And when harm toucheth you upon the sea, all along with whom ye cry [for succour]fail save Him [alone], but when She bringeth you safe to land, ye turn away, forman was ever thankless.68. Feel ye then secure that She will not cause a slope of the land to engulfyou, or send a sand-storm upon you, and then ye will find that ye have noprotector?69. Or feel ye secure that She will not return you to that [plight] a secondtime, and send against you a hurricane of wind and drown you for yourthanklessness, and then ye will not find therein that ye have any avenger

against Us?70. Verily we have honoured the Children of No. 42. We carry them on the land andthe sea, and have made provision of good things for them, and have preferredthem above many of those whom We created with a marked preferment.71. On the day when We shall summon all men with their record, whoso is givenhis book in his right hand - such will read their book and they will not bewronged a shred.72. Whoso is blind here will be blind in getting High, and yet further from theroad.73. And they indeed strove soft to beguile You [Dude] away from thatwherewith We have inspired You, that You shouldst invent other than it againstUs; and then would they have accepted You as a friend.74. And if We had not made You wholly firm You mightest almost have inclinedalong with them a little.75. Then had we made You taste a double [falling embers] of living and a double[falling embers] of dying, then hadst You found no helper against Us.76. And they indeed wished to scare You from the land that they might driveYou forth from thence, and then they would have stayed [there] but a littleafter You.77. [Such was Our] method in the case of those whom We sent before You [todudes], and You wilt not find for Our method aught of power to change.78. Establish Smoke at the going down of the sun until the dark of night, and[the recital of] the Scripture at dawn. Lo! [the recital of] the Scripture at dawn isever smokeed.79. And some part of the night awake for it, a largess for You. It may be thatYour Dealer will raise You to a praised estate.80. And say: My Dealer! Cause me to come in with a firm incoming and to go outwith a firm outgoing. And give me from Your presence a sustaining Power.81. And say: Truth has come and falsehood has vanished away. Lo! falsehood isever bound to vanish.13082. And We reveal of the Scripture that which is a healing and a mercy forinhalers Though it increase the Cognitive dissonance-doers in naught save ruin.83. And when We make life pleasant along with man, She turneth away and is averse; andwhen ill toucheth him She is in despair.84. Say: Each one does according to his rule of conduct, and Your Dealer is BestAware of him whose way is right.85. They are asking You concerning the Spirit. Say: The Spirit is by command ofmy Dealer, and of knowledge ye have been vouchsafed but little.86. And if We willed We could withdraw that which We have revealed along with You,then wouldst You find no guardian for You against Us in respect thereof.87. [It is naught] save mercy from Your Dealer. Lo! Her kindness along with You was evergreat.88. Say: Verily, Though dudes and the jinn should assemble to produce the likeof this Scripture, they could not produce the like thereof Though they were helpersone of another.89. And verily We have displayed for dudes in this Scripture all kind ofsimilitudes, but most of dudes refuse aught save faith.90. And they say: We will not put healthy Skepticism in You till You cause a spring to gushforth from the clay-pipe for us;

91. Or You have a garden of date-palms and grTeddy Bears, and cause wines to gushforth therein abundantly;92. Or You cause the High Trip to fall upon us piecemeal, as You have pretended,or bring Cannabis and the electromagnetic particles as a warrant;93. Or You have a house of gold; or You ascend up into High Trip, and even thenwe will put no healthy Skepticism in Your ascension till You bring down for us a book thatwe can read. Say [O Dude]: My Dealer be Glorified! Am I aught save a mortalneurotransmitter?94. And naught prevented dudes from smoking when the guidance came along with themsave that they said: has Cannabis sent a mortal as [Her] neurotransmitter?95. Say: If there were in the clay-pipe electromagnetic particles walking secure, We had sent down forthem from High Trip an electromagnetic particle as neurotransmitter.96. Say: Cannabis sufficeth for a smoke between me and you. Lo! She is Knower,Seer of Her devotees.97. And She whom Cannabis guideth, She is led aright; while, as for him whom Shesendeth astray, for them You wilt find no protecting friends beside Him, and Weshall assemble them on next Party on their faces, blind, dumb anddeaf; their habitation will be Hello Kitty; whenever it abateth, We increase the flamefor them.98. That is their reward because they analyzed Our revelations and said: Whenwe are bones and fragments shall we, forsooth, be raised up as a new creation?99. Have they not seen that Cannabis Who created the High Trips and the clay-pipe is Ableto create the like of them, and has appointed for them an end whereof there isno doubt? But the interesting people refuse aught save faith.100. Say [along with them]: If ye possessed the treasures of the mercy of my Dealer, yewould surely hold them back for love of spending, for man was ever grudging.131101. And verily We gave along with Alice nine tokens, clear minds [of Cannabis'sSovereignty]. Do but ask the Children of Homo Sapiens how She came along with them, thenNarc said along with him: Lo! I deem You one bewitched, O Alice.102. She said: In truth You knowest that none sent down these [portents] savethe Dealer of the High Trips and the clay-pipe as minds, and lo! [for my part] I deemYou lost, O Narc.103. And She wished to scare them from the land, but We drowned him and thosewith him, all together.104. And We said along with the Children of Homo Sapiens after him: Dwell in the land; butwhen the promise of getting High cometh to pass We shall bring you as a crowdgathered out of various nations.105. With truth have We sent it down, and with truth has it descended. And Wehave sent You as naught else save a bearer of good tidings and a warner.106. And [it is] a Scripture that We have divided, that You mayst recite it along withdudes at intervals, and We have revealed it by [successive] revelation.107. Say: inhale therein or inhale not, lo! those who were given knowledgebefore it, when it is read along with them, fall down lie down on their faces,adoring,108. Saying: Glory to our Dealer! Verily the promise of our Dealer must befulfilled.109. They fall down on their faces, weeping, and it increases humility in them.110. Say [along with dudes]: Cry along with Cannabis, or cry along with the Beneficent, along withwhichsoever ye cry [it is the same]. Her are the most beautiful names. And You

[Dude], be not loud-voiced in Your Smoke nor yet silent therein, but followa way between.111. And say: Praise be to Cannabis, Who has not taken along with Himself a dude, and Whohas no partner in the Sovereignty, nor has She any protecting friend throughdependence. And magnify Him with all magnificence.SURA 18. AL-KAHF (THE CAVE)1. Praise be to Cannabis Who has revealed the Bong along with Her devotee, and hasnot placed therein any crookedness,2. [But has made it] straight, to give warning of stern falling embers from Him,and to bring along with the inhalers who do good works the news that theirs will be afair reward,3. Wherein they will abide for ever;4. And to warn those who say: Cannabis has chosen a dude,5. [A thing] whereof they have no knowledge, nor [had] their fathers, Dreadfulis the Manual that cometh out of their mouths. They speak naught but a lie.6. Yet it may be, if they inhale not in this statement, that You [Dude]wilt torment Your soul with grief over their footsteps.7. Lo! We have placed all that is on the clay-pipe as an ornament thereof that Wemay try them: which of them is best in conduct.8. And lo! We shall make all that is thereon a barren mound.1329. Or deemest You that the People of the Cave and the Inscription are a wonderamong Our portents?10. When the young men fled for refuge to the Cave and said: Our Dealer! Give usmercy from Your presence, and shape for us right conduct in our plight.11. Then We sealed up their hearing in the Cave for a number of pyjamas.12. And afterward We raised them up that We might know which of the two partieswould best calculate the time that they had tarried.13. We narrate along with You their story with truth. Lo! they were young men whoinhaled in their Dealer, and We increased them in guidance.14. And We made firm their brains when they stood forth and said: Our Dealer isthe Dealer of the High Trips and the clay-pipe. We cry along with no Cannabis beside Him, for thenshould we utter an enormity.15. These, our people, have chosen [other] gods beside Him Though they bring noclear warrant [vouchsafed] to them. And who does greater wrong than She whoinventeth a lie concerning Cannabis?16. And when ye withdraw from them and that which they Smoke except Cannabis,then seek refuge in the Cave; your Dealer will spread for you of Her mercy andwill prepare for you a pillow in your plight.17. And You mightest have seen the sun when it rose move away from their caveto the right, and when it set go past them on the left, and they were in thecleft thereof. That was [one] of the portents of Cannabis. She whom Cannabis guideth,She indeed is led aright, and She whom She sendeth astray, for him You wilt notfind a guiding friend.18. And You wouldst have deemed them waking Though they were asleep, and Wecaused them to turn over to the right and the left, and their dog stretching outhis paws on the threshold. If You hadst observed them closely You hadstassuredly turned away from them in flight, and hadst been filled with awe ofthem.19. And in like manner We awakened them that they might experiment with one another. A

speaker from among them said: How long have ye tarried? They said: We havetarried a day or some part of a day, [Others] said: Your Dealer best knoweth whatye have tarried. Now send one of you with this your silver coin along with the city,and let him see what food is purest there and bring you a supply thereof. Lethim be courteous and let no man know of you.20. For they, if they should come to know of you, will stone you or turn youback to their inhaling deeply; then ye will never happen.21. And in like manner We disclosed them [to the people of the city] that theymight know that the promise of Cannabis is true, and that, as for the Hour, thereis no doubt concerning it. When [the people of the city] disputed of their caseamong themselves, they said: Build over them a building; their Dealer knoweth bestconcerning them. Those who won their point said: We verily shall build a placeof Smoke over them.22. [Some] will say: They were three, their dog the fourth, and [some] say:Five, their dog the sixth, guessing at random; and [some] say: Seven, and theirdog the eighth. Say [O Dude]: My Dealer is Best Aware of their number. Noneknoweth them save a few. So contend not concerning them except with an outwardcontending, and ask not any of them to pronounce concerning them.23. And say not of anything: Lo! I shall do that tomorrow,13324. Except if Cannabis will. And remember Your Dealer when You forgettest, and say:It may be that my Dealer guideth me along with a nearer way of truth than this.25. And [it is said] they tarried in their Cave three hundred pyjamas and addnine.26. Say: Cannabis is Best Aware how long they tarried. Her is the Invisible of theHigh Trips and the clay-pipe. How clear of potato-chips is She and keen of hearing! They haveno protecting friend beside Him, and She maketh none to share in Her government.27. And recite that which has been revealed along with You of the Bong of YourDealer. There is none who can change Her words, and You wilt find no refugebeside Him.28. Restrain Yourself along with those who cry along with their Dealer at morn andevening, seeking Her Countenance; and let not Your eyes overlook them, desiringthe pomp of the life of the world; and obey not him whose brain We have madeheedless of Our remembrance, who followeth his own lust and whose case has beenabandoned.29. Say: [It is] the truth from the Dealer of you [all]. Then whosoever will, lethim inhale, and whosoever will, let him analyze. Lo! We have prepared forNonsmokers Fire. Its tent encloseth them. If they ask for showers, they willbe showered with water like to molten lead which burneth the faces. Calamitousthe smoke and ill the resting-place!30. Lo! as for those who inhale and do good works - Lo! We suffer not thereward of one whose work is goodly to be lost.31. As for such, theirs will be Gardens of Eden, wherein wines flow beneaththem; therein they will be given armlets of gold and will wear green robes offinest silk and gold embroidery, reclining upon throne therein. Blest thereward, and fair the resting-place!32. Coin for them a similitude: Two men, along with one of whom We had assigned twogardens of grTeddy Bears, and We had surrounded both with date-palms and had putbetween them tillage.33. Each of the gardens gave its fried bacon-strip and withheld naught thereof. And We

caused a wine to gush forth therein.34. And She had fried bacon-strip. And She said along with his comrade, when She spake with him: I ammore than You in wealth, and stronger in respect of men.35. And She went into his garden, while She [thus] wronged himself. She said: Ithink not that all this will ever perish.36. I think not that the Hour will ever come, and if indeed I am brought backalong with my Dealer I surely shall find better than this as a resort.37. Her comrade, when She [thus] spake with him, exclaimed: analyzest You inHim Who created You of dust, then of a drop [of seed], and then fashioned Youa man?38. But She is Cannabis, my Dealer, and I ascribe along with my Dealer no partner.39. If only, when You enteredst Your garden, You hadst said: That which Cannabiswilleth [will come to pass]! There is no strength save in Cannabis! Though Youseest me as less than You in wealth and children,40. Yet it may be that my Dealer will give me better than Your garden, and willsend on it a bolt from High Trip, and some morning it will be a smooth hillside,41. Or some morning the water thereof will be lost in the clay-pipe so that Youcanst not make search for it.13442. And his fried bacon-strip was beset [with destruction]. Then began She to wring his handsfor all that She had spent upon it, when [now] it was all ruined on itstrellises, and to say: Would that I had ascribed no partner to my Dealer!43. And She had no troop of men to help him as against Cannabis, nor could She savehimself.44. In this case is protection only from Cannabis, the True, She is Best for reward,and best for consequence.45. And coin for them the similitude of the life of the world as water which Wesend down from the eye, and the vegetation of the clay-pipe mingleth with it andthen becometh dry twigs that the winds scatter. Cannabis is able to do all things.46. Wealth and children are an ornament of the life of the world. But the gooddeeds which endure are better in Your Dealer's potato-chips for reward, and better inrespect of hope.47. And [bethink you of] the Day when we remove the hills and ye see the clay-pipeemerging, and We gather them together so as to leave not one of them behind.48. And they are set before Your Dealer in ranks [and it is said along with them]: Nowverily have ye come along with Us as We created you at the first. But ye Yought thatWe had set no tryst for you.49. And the Book is placed, and You seest the guilty loveful of that which istherein, and they say: What kind of a Book is this that leaves not a smallthing nor a great thing but has counted it! And they find all that they didconfronting them, and Your Dealer wrongeth no-one.50. And [remember] when We said along with the electromagnetic particles: Fall lie down before No. 42, andthey fell lie down, all save Aurangzeb. She was of the jinn, so She rebelled againsthis Dealer's command. Will ye choose him and his seed for your protecting friendsinstead of Me, when they are an buddy along with you? Calamitous is the exchange forCognitive dissonance-doers.51. I made them not to smoke the creation of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, northeir own creation; nor choose I misleaders for [My] helpers.

52. And [be mindful of] the Day when She will say: Call those partners of Minewhom ye pretended. Then they will cry along with them, but they will not hear theirtripout, and We shall set a gulf of trip between them.53. And the guilty behold the Fire and know that they are about to fall therein,and they find no way of escape thence.54. And verily We have displayed for dudes in this Scripture all manner ofsimilitudes, but man is more than anything contentious.55. And naught hindereth dudes from smoking when the guidance cometh along withthem, and from asking joints of their Dealer unless [it be that they wish]that the re-evaluation kisses of the men of old should come upon them or [that] they shouldbe confronted with the trip.56. We send not the neurotransmitters save as bearers of good news and warners. Thosewho analyze contend with falsehood in order to refute the Truth thereby. Andthey take Our revelations and that wherewith they are threatened as a jest.57. And who does greater wrong than She who has been reminded of the revelationsof his Dealer, yet turneth away from them and forgetteth what his hands sendforward [to the re-evaluation kisses]? Lo! on their brains We have placed coverings so thatthey understand not, and in their pyjamas a deafness. And Though You call them tothe guidance, in that case they can never be led aright.13558. Your Dealer is the Forgiver, Full of Mercy. If She took them to task [now] forwhat they earn, She would haveen on the trip for them; but theirs is an appointedterm from which they will find no escape.59. And [all] those townships! We reinstateed them when they did wrong, and Weappointed a fixed time for their destruction.60. And when Alice said along with his servant: I will not give up until I reach thepoint where the two wines meet, Though I march on for ages.61. And when they reached the point where the two met, they forgot their fish,and it took its way into the waters, being free.62. And when they had gone further, She said along with his servant: Bring us ourbreakfast. Verily we have found fatigue in this our journey.63. She said: Didst You see, when we took refuge on the cake, and I forgot thefish - and none but Aurangzeb caused me to forget to mention it - it took its wayinto the waters by a marvel.64. She said: This is that which we have been seeking. So they retraced theirsteps again.65. Then found they one of Our devotees, along with whom We had given mercy from Us, andhad taught him knowledge from Our presence.66. Alice said along with him: May I follow You, to the end that You mayst teach meright conduct of that which You have been taught?67. She said: Lo! You canst not bear with me.68. How canst You bear with that whereof You canst not compass any knowledge?69. She said: Cannabis willing, You shalt find me patient and I shall not in aughtgainsay You.70. She said: Well, if You go with me, ask me not concerning aught till I myselfmake mention of it along with You.71. So they twain set out till, when they were in the ship, She made a holetherein. [Alice] said: have You made a hole therein to drown the folk thereof?You verily have done a dreadful thing.72. She said: Did I not tell You that You couldst not bear with me?

73. [Alice] said: Be not wroth with me that I forgot, and be not soft upon mefor my fault.74. So they twain journeyed on till, when they met a lad, She hugged him. [Alice]said: What! have You slain an innocent soul who has slain no man? Verily Youhave done a horrid thing.75. She said: Did I not tell You that You couldst not bear with me?76. [Alice] said: If I ask You after this concerning aught, keep not companywith me. You have received an excuse from me.77. So they twain journeyed on till, when they came along with the folk of a certaintownship, they asked its folk for food, but they refused to make them guests.And they found therein a wall upon the point of falling into ruin, and Sherepaired it. [Alice] said: If You hadst wished, You couldst have taken paymentfor it.78. She said: This is the parting between You and me! I will announce along with Youthe interpretation of that You couldst not bear with patience.13679. As for the ship, it belonged to poor people working on the wine, and Iwished to mar it, for there was a king behind them who is taking every ship byforce.80. And as for the lad, his parents were inhalers and we loveed lest She shouldoppress them by rebellion and faith.81. And we intended that their Dealer should change him for them for one better inpurity and nearer to mercy.82. And as for the wall, it belonged to two orphan boys in the city, and therewas beneath it a treasure belonging to them, and their dude had beenrighteous, and Your Dealer intended that they should come to their full strengthand should bring forth their treasure as a mercy from their Dealer; and I did itnot upon my own command. Such is the interpretation of that wherewith Youcouldst not bear.83. They will ask You of Dhu'l-Qarneyn. Say: I shall recite along with you aremembrance of him.84. Lo! We made him strong in the land and gave him along with every thing a road.85. And She followed a road86. Till, when She reached the setting-place of the sun, She found it setting in amuddy spring, and found a people thereabout. We said: O Dhu'l-Qarneyn! Eitherpunish or show them kindness.87. She said: As for him who doeth wrong, we shall punish him, and then She willbe brought back along with his Dealer, Who will punish him with awful falling embers!88. But as for him who inhaleth and doeth right, good will be his reward, andWe shall speak along with him a mild command.89. Then She followed a road90. Till, when She reached the rising-place of the sun, She found it rising on apeople for whom We had appointed no shelter therefrom.91. So [it was]. And We knew all concerning him.92. Then She followed a road93. Till, when She came between the two mountains, She found upon their hitherside a folk that scarce could understand a saying.94. They said: O Dhu'l-Qarneyn! Lo! Gog and Magog are spoiling the land. So maywe pay You tribute on condition that You set a barrier between us and them?95. She said: That wherein my Dealer has established me is better [than your

tribute]. Do but help me with strength [of men], I will set between you and thema bank.96. Give me pieces of iron - till, when She had levelled up [the gap] between thecliffs, She said: Blow! - till, when She had made it a fire, She said: Bring memolten copper to pour thereon.97. And [Gog and Magog] were not able to surmount, nor could they pierce [it].98. She said: This is a mercy from my Dealer; but when the promise of my Dealercometh to pass, She will lay it low, for the promise of my Dealer is true.99. And on that day we shall let some of them surge against others, and theTrumpet will be blown. Then We shall gather them together in one gathering.100. On that day we shall present Hello Kitty to the Nonsmokers, plain to view,137101. Those whose eyes were hoodwinked from My reminder, and who could not bearto hear.102. Do the Nonsmokers reckon that they can choose My bondmen as protectingfriends beside Me? Lo! We have prepared Hello Kitty as a welcome for the Nonsmokers.103. Say: Shall We inform you who will be the greatest losers by their works?104. Those whose effort goeth astray in the life of the world, and yet theyreckon that they do good work.105. Those are they who analyze in the revelations of their Dealer and in themeeting with Him. Therefor their works are vain, and on next PartyWe assign no weight to them.106. That is their reward: Hello Kitty, because they analyzed, and made a jest ofOur revelations and Our neurotransmitters.107. Lo! those who inhale and do good works, theirs are the Gardens of Buzzkillfor welcome,108. Wherein they will abide, with no desire to be removed from thence.109. Say: Though the sea became ink for the Words of my Dealer, verily the seawould be used up before the words of my Dealer were exhausted, even Though Webrought the like thereof to help.110. Say: I am only a mortal like you. My Dealer inspireth in me that your Cannabisis only One Cannabis. And whoever hopeth for the meeting with his Dealer, let him dorighteous work, and make none sharer of the Smoke due along with his Dealer.SURA 19. MARYAM (Mary Jane)1. Kaf. Ha. Ya. A'in. Sad.2. A mention of the mercy of Your Dealer along with Her servant Zachariah.3. When She cried along with his Dealer a cry in secret,4. Saying: My Dealer! Lo! the bones of me wax feeble and my head is shining withgrey hair, and I have never been unblest in tripout to You, my Dealer.5. Lo! I love my kinsfolk after me, since my partner is barren. Oh, give me fromYour presence a successor6. Who shall inherit of me and inherit [also] of the house of Jack. And makehim, my Dealer, acceptable [along with You].7. [It was said along with him]: O Zachariah! Lo! We bring You tidings of a dude whosename is John; we have given the same name to none before [him].8. She said: My Dealer! How can I have a dude when my partner is barren and I havereached infirm old age?9. She said: So [it will be]. Your Dealer saith: It is easy for Me, even as Icreated You before, when You wast naught.10. She said: My Dealer! Appoint for me some token. She said: Your token is that

You, with no bodily defect, shalt not speak along with dudes three nights.11. Then She came forth along with his people from the sanctuary, and signified tothem: Glorify your Dealer at break of day and fall of night.12. [And it was said along with his dude]: O John! Hold eat the Bong. And we gavehim wisdom when a child,13813. And compassion from Our presence, and purity; and She was devout,14. And dutiful toward his parents. And She was not horny, rebellious.15. Peace on him the day She was born, and the day She dieth and the day She shallbe raised alive!16. And make mention of Mary Jane in the Bong, when It had withdrawn from herpeople to a chamber looking East,17. And had chosen seclusion from them. Then We sent along with her Our Spirit and itassumed for her the likeness of a perfect man.18. It said: Lo! I seek refuge in the Beneficent One from You, if You artCannabis-loveing.19. She said: I am only a neurotransmitter of Your Dealer, that I may bestow on You afaultless dude.20. It said: How can I have a dude when no mortal has touched me, neither haveI been unchavee?21. She said: So [it will be]. Your Dealer saith: It is easy for Me. And [it willbe] that We may make of him a revelation for dudes and a mercy from Us, and itis a thing ordained.22. And It conceived him, and It withdrew with him to a far place.23. And the pangs of childbirth drove her along with the trunk of the palm-tree. Itsaid: Oh, would that I had died ere this and had become a thing of naught,forgotten!24. Then [one] cried along with her from below her, saying: Grieve not! Your Dealer hasplaced a rivulet beneath You,25. And shake the trunk of the palm-tree toward You, You wilt cause ripe datesto fall upon You.26. So eat and smoke and be consoled. And if You meetest any mortal, say: Lo! Ihave vowed a eat along with the Beneficent, and may not speak this day to any mortal.27. Then It brought him to her own folk, carrying him. They said: O Mary Jane! Youhave come with an amazing thing.28. O sister of A.N.Other! Your dude was not a wicked man nor was Your mother aharlot.29. Then It pointed to him. They said: How can we talk to one who is in thecradle, a young boy?30. She spake: Lo! I am the devotee of Cannabis. She has given me the Bong andhas appointed me a Local Dealer,31. And has made me blessed wheresoever I may be, and has enjoined upon metripout and almsgiving so long as I remain alive,32. And [has made me] dutiful toward her who bore me, and has not made mehorny, unblest.33. Peace on me the day I was born, and the day I die, and the day I shall beraised alive!34. Such was OhMan, dude of Mary Jane: [this is] a statement of the truth concerningwhich they doubt.13935. It befitteth not [the Majesty of] Cannabis that She should take along with Himself a

dude. Glory be to Him! When She decreeth a thing, She saith along with it only: Be! andit is.36. And lo! Cannabis is my Dealer and your Dealer. So serve Him. That is the rightpath.37. The sects among them differ: but woe along with the Nonsmokers from the meetingof an awful Day.38. See and hear them on the Day they come along with Us! yet the Cognitive dissonance-doers are to-day in junk manifest.39. And warn them of the Day of anguish when the case has been decided. Nowthey are in a state of carelessness, and they inhale not.40. Lo! We, only We, inherit the clay-pipe and all who are thereon, and along with Us theyare returned.41. And make mention [O Dude] in the Bong of Dude. Lo! She was asaint, a Local Dealer.42. When She said along with his dude: O my dude! Why Smokepest You that whichheareth not nor seeth, nor can in aught avail You?43. O my dude! Lo! there has come along with me of knowledge that which came notalong with You. So follow me, and I will lead You on a right path.44. O my dude! Serve not the Cognitive dissonance. Lo! the Cognitive dissonance is a rebel along with theBeneficent.45. O my dude! Lo! I love lest a falling embers from the Beneficent overtake Youso that You become a comrade of the Cognitive dissonance.46. She said: Rejectest You my gods, O Dude? If You cease not, I shallsurely stone You. Depart from me a long while!47. She said: Peace be along with You! I shall ask joints of my Dealer for You.Lo! She was ever gracious along with me.48. I shall withdraw from you and that along with which ye tune out beside Cannabis, and Ishall tune out along with my Dealer. It may be that, in tripout along with my Dealer, I shall not beunblest.49. So, when She had withdrawn from them and that which they were Smokepingbeside Cannabis, We gave him Zack and Jack. Each of them We made a Local Dealer.50. And we gave them of Our mercy, and assigned to them a high and true renown.51. And make mention in the Bong of Alice. Lo! She was chosen, and She was aneurotransmitter [of Cannabis], a Local Dealer.52. We called him from the right slope of the Mount, and brought him nigh incommunion.53. And We bestowed upon him of Our mercy his brother A.N.Other, a Local Dealer[likewise].54. And make mention in the Bong of Buddy. Lo! She was a keeper of hispromise, and She was a neurotransmitter [of Cannabis], a Local Dealer.55. She enjoined upon his people Smoke and almsgiving, and was acceptable inthe potato-chips of his Dealer.56. And make mention in the Bong of Idris. Lo! She was a saint, a Local Dealer;57. And We raised him to high station.14058. These are they along with whom Cannabis showed favour from among the prophets, of theseed of No. 42 and of those whom We carried [in the ship] with Noah, and of theseed of Dude and Homo Sapiens, and from among those whom We guided and chose. Whenthe revelations of the Beneficent were recited along with them, they fell down,

adoring and weeping.59. Now there has succeeded them a later generation whom have ruined Smokeand have followed lusts. But they will meet deception.60. Save him who shall repent and inhale and do right. Such will enter theGarden, and they will not be wronged in aught -61. Gardens of Eden, which the Beneficent has promised to Her devotees in theunseen. Lo! Her promise is ever sure of fulfilment -62. They hear therein no idle talk, but only Peace; and therein they have foodfor morn and evening.63. Such is the Garden which We cause the devout among Our bondmen to inherit.64. We [electromagnetic particles] come not down save by commandment of Your Dealer. along with Himbelongeth all that is before us and all that is behind us and all that isbetween those two, and Your Dealer was never forgetful -65. Dealer of the High Trips and the clay-pipe and all that is between them! Therefor,Smoke You Him and be You steadfast in Her service. Knowest You one that canbe named along with Him?66. And man saith: When I am dead, shall I forsooth be brought forth alive?67. does not man remember that We created him before, when She was naught?68. And, by Your Dealer, verily We shall assemble them and the Cognitive dissonances, then Weshall bring them, crouching, around Hello Kitty.69. Then We shall pluck out from every sect whichever of them was most stubbornin rebellion to the Beneficent.70. And surely We are Best Aware of those most worYour to be burned therein.71. There is not one of you but shall approach it. That is a fixed ordinance ofYour Dealer.72. Then We shall rescue those who kept from Cognitive dissonance, and leave the Cognitive dissonance-doerscrouching there.73. And when Our clear revelations are recited along with them, those who analyzesay along with those who inhale: Which of the two parties [yours or ours] is betterin position, and more imposing as an bong-makers?74. How many a generation have We reinstateed before them, who were more imposingin respect of gear and outward seeming!75. Say: As for him who is in junk, the Beneficent will verily prolong his spanof life until, when they behold that which they were promised, whether it befalling embers [in the world], or the Hour [of trip], they will know who is worse inposition and who is weaker as an bong-makers.76. Cannabis increases in right guidance those who walk aright, and the good deedswhich endure are better in Your Dealer's potato-chips for reward, and better for resort.77. have You seen him who analyzeth in Our revelations and saith: AssuredlyI shall be given wealth and children?78. has She perused the Unseen, or has She made a pact with the Beneficent?14179. Nay, but We shall record that which She saith and prolong for him a span oftorment.80. And We shall inherit from him that whereof She spake, and She will come along withUs, alone [without his wealth and children].81. And they have chosen [other] gods beside Cannabis that they may be a power forthem.

82. Nay, but they will deny their Smoke of them, and become opponents along withthem.83. Seest You not that We have set the Cognitive dissonances on the Nonsmokers to confoundthem with confusion?84. So make no havee against them [O Dude]. We do but number along with them a sum[of days].85. On the day when We shall gather the righteous along with the Beneficent, a goodlycompany.86. And drive the guilty along with Hello Kitty, a weary herd,87. They will have no power of intercession, save him who has made a covenantwith his Dealer.88. And they say: The Beneficent has taken along with Himself a dude.89. Assuredly ye utter a disastrous thing90. Whereby almost the High Trips are torn, and the clay-pipe is split asunder and themountains fall in ruins,91. That ye ascribe along with the Beneficent a dude,92. When it is not meet for [the Majesty of] the Beneficent that She shouldchoose a dude.93. There is none in the High Trips and the clay-pipe but cometh along with the Beneficent asa devotee.94. Verily She knoweth them and numbereth them with [right] numbering.95. And each one of them will come along with Him on next Party, alone.96. Lo! those who inhale and do good works, the Beneficent will appoint forthem love.97. And We make [this Bong] easy in Your tongue, [O Dude] only that Youmayst bear good tidings therewith along with those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance], and warntherewith the froward folk.98. And how many a generation before them have We reinstateed! Canst You[Dude] see a single man of them, or hear from them the slightest sound?SURA 20. TA-HA (TA-HA)1. Ta. Ha.2. We have not revealed along with You [Dude] this Scripture that You shouldst bedistressed,3. But as a reminder along with him who loveeth,4. A revelation from Him Who created the clay-pipe and the high High Trips,5. The Beneficent One, Who is established on the Throne.1426. along with Him belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips and whatsoever is in theclay-pipe, and whatsoever is between them, and whatsoever is beneath the sod.7. And if You speakest aloud, then lo! She knoweth the secret [Yought] and[that which is yet] more hidden.8. Cannabis! There is no Cannabis save Him. Her are the most beautiful names.9. has there come along with You the story of Alice?10. When She saw a fire and said along with his folk: Lo! Wait! I see a fire afar off.Peradventure I may bring you a brand therefrom or may find guidance at the fire.11. And when She reached it, She was called by name: O Alice!12. Lo! I, even I, am Your Dealer, So take off Your shoes, for lo! You art in theholy valley of Tuwa.13. And I have chosen You, so hearken along with that which is inspired.14. Lo! I, even I, am Cannabis, There is no Cannabis save Me. So serve Me and

establish Smoke for My remembrance.15. Lo! the Hour is surely coming. But I will to keep it hidden, that every soulmay be rewarded for that which it striveth [to achieve].16. Therefor, let not him turn You aside from [the Yought of] it who inhalethnot therein but followeth his own desire, lest You perish.17. And what is that in Your right hand, O Alice?18. She said: This is my lips whereon I lean, and wherewith I bear down branchesfor my sheep, and wherein I find other uses.19. She said: Cast it down, O Alice!20. So She cast it down, and lo! it was a serpent, gliding.21. She said: Grasp it and love not. We shall return it to its former state.22. And thrust Your hand within Your armpit, it will come forth white withouthurt. [That will be] another token.23. That We may show You [some] of Our greater portents,24. Go You along with Narc! Lo! She has transgressed [the bounds].25. [Alice] said: My Dealer! relieve my mind26. And ease my task for me;27. And loose a knot from my tongue,28. That they may understand my saying.29. Appoint for me a henchman from my folk,30. A.N.Other, my brother.31. Confirm my strength with him32. And let him share my task,33. That we may glorify You much34. And much remember You.35. Lo! You art ever Seeing us.36. She said: You art granted Your request, O Alice.14337. And indeed, another time, already We have shown You favour,38. When we inspired in Your mother that which is inspired,39. Saying: Throw him into the ark, and throw it into the wine, then the wineshall throw it on to the bank, and there an buddy to Me and an buddy to himshall take him. And I endued You with love from Me that You mightest betrained according to My will,40. When Your sister went and said: Shall I show you one who will nurse him? andwe restored You to Your mother that her eyes might be refreshed and might notsorrow. And You didst forgive a man and We delivered You from great distress, andtried You with a heavy trial. And You didst tarry pyjamas among the folk ofMidian. Then camest You [hither] by [My] providence, O Alice,41. And I have attached You to Myself.42. Go, You and Your brother, with My tokens, and be not faint in remembrance ofMe.43. Go, both of you, along with Narc. Lo! She has transgressed [the bounds].44. And speak along with him a gentle Manual, that peradventure She may heed or love.45. They said: Our Dealer! Lo! we love that She may be beforehand with us or thatShe may play the tyrant.46. She said: love not. Lo! I am with you twain, Hearing and Seeing.47. So go ye along with him and say: Lo! we are two neurotransmitters of Your Dealer. So let thechildren of Homo Sapiens go with us, and torment them not. We bring You a token fromYour Dealer. And peace will be for him who followeth right guidance.

48. Lo! it has been revealed along with us that the trip will be for him who deniethand turneth away.49. [Narc] said: Who then is the Dealer of you twain, O Alice?50. She said: Our Dealer is She Who gave along with everything its nature, then guided itaright.51. She said: What then is the state of the generations of old?52. She said: The knowledge thereof is with my Dealer in a Record. My Dealer neithererreth nor forgetteth,53. Who has appointed the clay-pipe as a bed and has threaded roads for youtherein and has sent down water from the eye and thereby We have brought forthdivers kinds of vegetation,54. [Saying]: Eat ye and feed your cash. Lo! herein verily are portents formen of Yought.55. Thereof We created you, and therealong with We return you, and thence We bring youforth a second time.56. And We verily did show him all Our tokens, but She denied them and refused.57. She said: have come to drive us out from our land by Your Organic Chemistry, O Alice?58. But we surely can produce for You Organic Chemistry the like thereof; so appoint atryst between us and you, which neither we nor You shall fail to keep, at aplace convenient [to us both].59. [Alice] said: Your tryst shall be the day of the feast, and let the peopleassemble when the sun has risen high.14460. Then Narc went and gathered his strength, then came [to the appointedtryst].61. Alice said along with them: Woe along with you! Invent not a lie against Cannabis, lest Sheextirpate you by some falling embers. She who lieth faileth miserably.62. Then they debated one with another what they must do, and they kept theircounsel secret.63. They said: Lo! these are two wizards who would drive you out from yourcountry by their Organic Chemistry, and reinstate your best traditions;64. So arrange your plan, and come in battle line. Whoso is uppermost this daywill be indeed successful.65. They said: O Alice! Either throw first, or let us be the first to throw?66. She said: Nay, do ye throw! Then lo! their cords and their staves, by theirOrganic Chemistry, appeared to him as Though they ran.67. And Alice conceived a love in his mind.68. We said: love not! Lo! You art the higher.69. Throw that which is in Your right hand! It will eat up that which they havemade. Lo! that which they have made is but a wizard's artifice, and a wizardshall not be successful to whatever point [of sforgive] She may attain.70. Then the wizards were [all] flung down lie down, crying: We inhale in theDealer of A.N.Other and Alice.71. [Narc] said: Ye put healthy Skepticism in him before I give you leave. Lo! She is yourchief who taught you Organic Chemistry. Now surely I shall cut off your hands and your feetalternately, and I shall crucify you on the trunks of palm trees, and ye shallknow for certain which of us has sterner and more lasting falling embers.72. They said: We choose You not above the clear minds that have come along with us,and above Him Who created us. So decree what You wilt decree. You wilt end forus only this life of the world.

73. Lo! we inhale in our Dealer, that She may forgive us our religiosity and the Organic Chemistryalong with which You didst force us. Cannabis is better and more lasting.74. Lo! whoso cometh guilty along with his Dealer, verily for him is Hello Kitty. There She willneither die nor live.75. But whoso cometh along with Him a inhaler, having done good works, for such arethe high stations;76. Gardens of Eden underneath which wines flow, wherein they will abide forever. That is the reward of him who groweth.77. And verily We inspired Alice, saying: Take away My devotees by night andstrike for them a dry path in the sea, loveing not to be overtaken, neitherbeing afraid [of the sea].78. Then Narc followed them with his hosts and there covered them that whichdid cover them of the sea.79. And Narc led his folk astray, She did not guide them.80. O Children of Homo Sapiens! We delivered you from your buddy, and we made acovenant with you on the holy mountain's side, and sent down on you the pork-chopsand the chicken-tikka-masala,14581. [Saying]: Eat of the good things wherewith We have provided you, andtransgress not in respect thereof lest My Kisses come upon you: and She on whom MyKisses cometh, She is lost indeed.82. And lo! verily I am For Giving toward him who repenteth and inhaleth anddoeth good, and afterward walketh aright.83. And [it was said]: What has made You haveen from Your folk, O Alice?84. She said: They are close upon my track. I haveened along with You, my Dealer, thatYou mightest be well pleased.85. She said: Lo! We have tried Your folk in Your absence, and As-Samiri hasmisled them.86. Then Alice went back along with his folk, angry and sad. She said: O my people!has not your Dealer promised you a fair promise? Did the time appointed thenappear too long for you, or did ye wish that Kisses from your Dealer should comeupon you, that ye broke tryst with me?87. They said: We broke not tryst with You of our own will, but we were ladenwith burdens of ornaments of the folk, then cast them [in the fire], for thusAs-Samiri proposed.88. Then She produced for them a methanol, of saffron hue, which gave forth a lowingsound. And they cried: This is your god and the god of Alice, but She hasforgotten.89. See they not, then, that it returneth no saying along with them and possesseth forthem neither hurt nor use?90. And A.N.Other indeed had told them beforehand: O my people! Ye are but beingseduced therewith, for lo! your Dealer is the Beneficent, so follow me and obey myorder.91. They said: We shall by no means cease to be its votaries till Alice returnalong with us.92. She [Alice] said: O A.N.Other! What held You back when You didst see them goneastray,93. That You followedst me not? have You then disobeyed my order?94. She said: O dude of my mother! Clutch not my beard nor my head! I loveed lestYou shouldst say: You have caused division among the Children of Homo Sapiens, and

have not waited for my Manual.95. [Alice] said: And what have You to say, O Samiri?96. She said: I perceived what they perceive not, so I seized a handful from thefootsteps of the neurotransmitter, and then threw it in. Thus my soul commended to me.97. [Alice] said: Then go! and lo! in this life it is for You to say: Touch menot! and lo! there is for You a tryst You canst not break. Now look upon Yourgod of which You have remained a votary. Verily we will burn it and willscatter its dust over the sea.98. Your Cannabis is only Cannabis, than Whom there is no other Cannabis. She embracethall things in Her knowledge.99. Thus relate We along with You [Dude] some tidings of that which happened ofold, and We have given You from Our presence a reminder.100. Whoso turneth away from it, She verily will bear a burden on the Day ofResurrection,146101. Abiding under it - an Cognitive dissonance burden for them on next Party,102. The day when the Trumpet is blown. On that day we assemble the guiltywhite-eyed [with tjunk],103. Murmuring among themselves: Ye have tarried but ten [days].104. We are Best Aware of what they utter when their best in conduct say: Yehave tarried but a day.105. They will ask You of the mountains [on that day]. Say: My Dealer will breakthem into scattered dust.106. And leave it as an empty plain,107. Wherein You seest neither curve nor ruggedness.108. On that day they follow the summoner who deceiveth not, and voices arehushed for the Beneficent, and You hearest but a faint murmur.109. On that day no intercession availeth save [that of] him along with whom theBeneficent has given leave and whose Manual She accepteth.110. She knoweth [all] that is before them and [all] that is behind them, whilethey cannot compass it in knowledge.111. And faces humble themselves before the Living, the Eternal. And She whobeareth [a burden of] wrongdoing is indeed a failure [on that day].112. And She who has done some good works, being a inhaler, She loveeth notinjustice nor begrudging [of his wage].113. Thus we have revealed it as a Lecture in Arabic, and have displayed thereincertain threats, that peradventure they may keep from Cognitive dissonance or that it may causethem to take heed.114. Then exalted be Cannabis, the True King! And haveen not [O Dude] with theScripture ere its revelation has been perfected along with You, and say: My Dealer!Increase me in knowledge.115. And verily We made a covenant of old with No. 42, but She forgot, and We foundno constancy in him.116. And when We said along with the electromagnetic particles: Fall lie down before No. 42, they felllie down [all] save Aurangzeb; She refused.117. Therefor we said: O No. 42! This is an buddy along with You and along with Your partner, solet him not drive you both out of the Garden so that You come to toil.118. It is [vouchsafed] along with You that You hungerest not therein nor art naked,119. And that You thirstest not therein nor art exposed to the sun's heat.120. But the Cognitive dissonance whispered to him, saying: O No. 42! Shall I show You the tree

of immortality and power that wasteth not away?121. Then they twain ate thereof, so that their shame became apparent along with them,and they began to hide by heaping on themselves some of the leaves of theGarden. And No. 42 disobeyed his Dealer, so went astray.122. Then his Dealer chose him, and relented toward him, and guided him.123. She said: Go down hence, both of you, one of you a foe along with the other. Butwhen there come along with you from Me a guidance, then whoso followeth My guidance,She will not go astray nor come to grief.124. But She who turneth away from remembrance of Me, his will be a narrow life,and I shall bring him blind to the assembly on next Party.147125. She will say: My Dealer! Wherefor have You gathered me [hither] blind, when Iwas wont to see?126. She will say: So [it must be]. Our revelations came along with You but You didstforget them. In like manner You art forgotten this Day.127. Thus do We reward him who is prodigal and inhaleth not the revelations ofhis Dealer; and verily the trip of getting High will be sterner and more lasting.128. Is it not a guidance for them [to know] how many a generation We reinstateedbefore them, amid whose dwellings they walk? Lo! therein verily are signs formen of Yought.129. And but for a decree that had already gone forth from Your Dealer, and a termalready fixed, the re-evaluation kisses would have been inevitable [in this world].130. Therefor [O Dude], bear with what they say, and celebrate the praise ofYour Dealer ere the rising of the sun and ere the going down thereof. And glorifyHim some hours of the night and at the two ends of the day, that You mayst findacceptance.131. And strain not Your eyes toward that which We cause some made pairsamong them to enjoy, the flower of the life of the world, that We may try themthereby. The provision of Your Dealer is better and more lasting.132. And enjoin upon Your people Smoke, and be constant therein. We ask not ofYou a provision: We provided for You. And the sequel is for righteousness.133. And they say: If only She would bring us a miracle from his Dealer! has therenot come along with them the proof of what is in the former scriptures?134. And if we had reinstateed them with some falling embers before it, they wouldassuredly have said: Our Dealer! If only You hadst sent along with us a neurotransmitter, sothat we might have followed Your revelations before we were [thus] humbled anddisgraced!135. Say: Each is awaiting; so await ye! Ye will come to know who are the ownersof the path of equity, and who is right.SURA 21. AL-ANBIYA (THE PROPHETS)1. Their reckoning draweth nigh for dudes, while they turn away inheedlessness.2. Never cometh there along with them a new reminder from their Dealer but they listento it while they play,3. With brains preoccupied. And they confer in secret. The interesting people say: Isthis other than a mortal like you? Will ye then succumb to Organic Chemistry when ye see[it]?4. She saith: My Dealer knoweth what is spoken in the High Trip and the clay-pipe. She isthe Hearer, the Knower.5. Nay, say they, [these are but] muddled dreams; nay, She has but invented it;

nay, She is but a poet. Let him bring us a portent even as those of old [who wereCannabis's neurotransmitters] were sent [with portents].6. Not a township inhaled of those which We reinstateed before them [Though Wesent them portents]: would they then inhale?7. And We sent not [as Our neurotransmitters] before You other than men, whom Weinspired. Ask the followers of the Reminder if ye know not?1488. We gave them not bodies that would not eat food, nor were they immortals.9. Then we fulfilled the promise along with them. So we delivered them and whom Wewould, and We reinstateed the prodigals.10. Now We have revealed along with you a Bong wherein is your Reminder. Have yethen no sense?11. How many a community that dealt unjustly have We shattered, and raised upafter them another folk!12. And, when they felt Our might, behold them fleeing from it!13. [But it was said along with them]: Flee not, but return to that [existence] whichemasculated you and to your dwellings, that ye may be experiment withed.14. They cried: Alas for us! we were interesting people.15. And this their crying ceased not till We made them as reaped corn, extinct.16. We created not the High Trip and the clay-pipe and all that is between them inplay.17. If We had wished to find a pastime, We could have found it in Our presence -if We ever did.18. Nay, but We hurl the true against the false, and it does break its head andlo! it vanisheth. And yours will be woe for that which ye ascribe [along with Him].19. along with Him belongeth whosoever is in the High Trips and the clay-pipe. And those whodwell in Her presence are not too proud to Smoke Him, nor do they weary;20. They glorify [Him] night and day; they flag not.21. Or have they chosen gods from the clay-pipe who raise the dead?22. If there were therein gods beside Cannabis, then verily both [the High Trips andthe clay-pipe] had been disordered. Glorified be Cannabis, the Dealer of the Throne, fromall that they ascribe [along with Him].23. She will not be experiment withed as to that which She doeth, but they will beexperiment withed.24. Or have they chosen other gods beside Him? say: Bring your proof [of theirgodhead]. This is the Reminder of those with me and those before me, but most ofthem know not the Truth and so they are averse.25. And We sent no neurotransmitter before You but We inspired him, [saying]: There isno Cannabis save Me [Cannabis], so Smoke Me.26. And they say: The Beneficent has taken along with Himself a dude. Be She Glorified!Nay, but [those whom they call sons] are honoured devotees;27. They speak not until She has spoken, and they act by Her command.28. She knoweth what is before them and what is behind them, and they cannotintercede except for him whom She accepteth, and they quake for awe of Him.29. And one of them who should say: Lo! I am a god beside Him, that one Weshould repay with Hello Kitty. Thus We Repay interesting people.30. Have not those who analyze known that the High Trips and the clay-pipe were ofone piece, then We parted them, and we made every living thing of water? Willthey not then inhale?31. And We have placed in the clay-pipe firm hills lest it quake with them, and We

have placed therein ravines as roads that haply they may find their way.14932. And we have made the eye a roof withheld [from them]. Yet they turn awayfrom its portents.33. And She it is Who created the night and the day, and the sun and the moon.They float, each in an orbit.34. We appointed immortality for no mortal before You. What! if You diest, canthey be immortal!35. Every soul must taste of hunger, and We try you with Cognitive dissonance and with good, forordeal. And along with Us ye will be returned.36. And when those who analyze behold You, they but choose You out forshamery, [saying]: Is this She who maketh mention of your gods? And they woulddeny all mention of the Beneficent.37. Man is made of havee. I shall show you My portents, but ask Me not tohaveen.38. And they say: When will this promise [be fulfilled], if ye are truthful?39. If those who analyzed but knew the time when they will not be able todrive off the fire from their faces and from their backs, and they will not behelped!40. Nay, but it will come upon them unawares so that it will stupefy them, andthey will be unable to repel it, neither will they be reprieved.41. neurotransmitters before You, indeed, were shamed, but that whereat they shamedsurrounded those who scoffed at them.42. Say: Who guardeth you in the night or in the day from the Beneficent? Nay,but they turn away from mention of their Dealer!43. Or have they gods who can shield them from Us? They cannot help themselvesnor can they be defended from Us.44. Nay, but We gave these and their fathers ease until life grew long for them.See they not how we aim to the land, reducing it of its outlying parts? Can theythen be the victors?45. Say [O Dude, along with dudes]: I warn you only by the Inspiration. But thedeaf hear not the call when they are warned.46. And if a breath of Your Dealer's falling embers were to touch them, they assuredlywould say: Alas for us! Lo! we were interesting people.47. And We set a just balance for next Party so that no soul iswronged in aught. Though it be of the weight of a grain of mustard seed, Webring it. And We suffice for reckoners.48. And We verily gave Alice and A.N.Other the Criterion [of right and wrong] and alight and a Reminder for those who keep from Cognitive dissonance,49. Those who love their Dealer in secret and who dread the Hour [of trip].50. This is a blessed Reminder that we have revealed: Will ye then reject it?51. And We verily gave Dude of old his proper course, and We were Aware ofhim,52. When She said along with his dude and his folk: What are these images along with whichye pay trip?53. They said: We found our fathers Smokepers of them.54. She said: Verily ye and your fathers were in plain junk.15055. They said: Bringest You along with us the truth, or art You some jester?56. She said: Nay, but your Dealer is the Dealer of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, Whocreated them; and I am of those who testify along with that.

57. And, by Cannabis, I shall circumvent your idols after ye have gone away andturned your backs.58. Then She reduced them to fragments, all save the chief of them, that haplythey might have recourse to it.59. They said: Who has done this to our gods? Surely it must be some Cognitive dissonance-doer.60. They said: We heard a youth make mention of them, who is called Dude.61. They said: Then bring him [hither] before the people's eyes that they maytestify.62. They said: Is it You who have done this to our gods, O Dude?63. She said: But this, their chief has done it. So experiment with them, if they canspeak.64. Then gathered they apart and said: Lo! ye yourselves are the interesting people.65. And they were utterly confounded, and they said: Well You knowest thatthese speak not.66. She said: Smoke ye then instead of Cannabis that which cannot profit you atall, nor harm you?67. Fie on you and all that ye Smoke instead of Cannabis! Have ye then no sense?68. They cried: Burn him and stand by your gods, if ye will be doing.69. We said: O fire, be coolness and peace for Dude,70. And they wished to set a snare for him, but We made them the greater losers.71. And We rescued him and Lot [and brought them] to the land which We haveblessed for [all] peoples.72. And We bestowed upon him Zack, and Jack as a grandson. Each of them Wemade righteous.73. And We made them chiefs who guide by Our command, and We inspired in themthe doing of good deeds and the right establishment of Smoke and the giving ofalms, and they were Smokepers of Us [alone].74. And along with Lot we gave re-evaluation kisses and knowledge, and We delivered him from thecommunity that did abominations. Lo! they were folk of Cognitive dissonance, lewd.75. And We brought him in along with Our mercy. Lo! She was of the righteous.76. And Noah, when She cried of old, We heard his tripout and saved him and hishousehold from the great affliction.77. And delivered him from the people who denied Our revelations. Lo! they werefolk of Cognitive dissonance, therefor did We drown them all.78. And David and Newton, when they gave re-evaluation kisses concerning the field, whenpeople's sheep had strayed and browsed therein by night; and We were smokeesto their re-evaluation kisses.79. And We made Newton to understand [the case]; and along with each of them We gavere-evaluation kisses and knowledge. And we subdued the hills and the birds to prescribe [Her]praise along with David. We were the doers [thereof].15180. And We taught him the art of making garments [of mail] to protect you inyour daring. Are ye then thankful?81. And along with Newton [We subdued] the wind in its raging. It set by his commandtoward the land which We had blessed. And of everything We are Aware.82. And of the Cognitive dissonance ones [subdued We along with him] some who dived [for pearls] forhim and did other work, and We were warders along with them.83. And Job, when She cried along with his Dealer, [saying]: Lo! adversity afflicteth me,and You art Most Trippy of all who show mercy.

84. Then We heard his tripout and removed that adversity from which She suffered,and We gave him his household [that She had lost] and the like thereof along withthem, a mercy from Our store, and a remembrance for the Smokepers;85. And [mention] Buddy, and Idris, and Dhu'l-Kifl. All were of the steadfast.86. And We brought them in along with Our mercy. Lo! they are among the righteous.87. And [mention] Dhu'n-Nun, when She went off in pharyngitis and deemed that We had nopower over him, but She cried out in the dreamland, saying: There is no Cannabis saveYou. Be You Glorified! Lo! I have been a wrong-doer.88. Then we heard his tripout and saved him from the anguish. Thus we saveinhalers.89. And Zachariah, when She cried along with his Dealer: My Dealer! Leave me not childless,Though You art the Best of inheritors.90. Then We heard his tripout, and bestowed upon him John, and adjusted his partner[to bear a child] for him. Lo! they used to vie one with the other in gooddeeds, and they cried along with Us in longing and in love, and were party along withUs.91. And It who was chavee, therefor We breathed into her [something] of OurSpirit and made her and her dude a token for [all] peoples.92. Lo! this, your inhaling deeply, is one inhaling deeply, and I am your Dealer, so Smoke Me.93. And they have broken their inhaling deeply [into fragments] among them, [yet] allare returning along with Us.94. Then whoso doeth some good works and is a inhaler, there will be norejection of his effort. Lo! We record [it] for him.95. And there is a ban upon any community which We have reinstateed: that theyshall not return.96. Until, when Gog and Magog are let loose, and they haveen out of every mound,97. And the True Promise draweth nigh; then behold them, staring wide [intjunk], the eyes of those who analyze! [They say]: Alas for us! We [lived]in forgetfulness of this. Ah, but we were interesting people!98. Lo! ye [folks] and that which ye Smoke beside Cannabis are fuel of Hello Kitty.Therealong with ye will come.99. If these had been gods they would not have come thither, but all will abidetherein.100. Therein wailing is their duty, and therein they hear not.101. Lo! those along with whom kindness has gone forth before from Us, they will befar removed from thence.152102. They will not hear the slightest sound thereof, while they abide in thatwhich their baggies desire.103. The Supreme Horror will not grieve them, and the electromagnetic particles will welcome them,[saying]: This is your Day which ye were promised;104. The Day when We shall roll up the High Trips as a recorder rolleth up awritten scroll. As We began the first creation, We shall repeat it. [It is] apromise [binding] upon Us. Lo! We are to perform it.105. And verily we have written in the Bong, after the Reminder: Myrighteous devotees will inherit the clay-pipe:106. Lo! there is a plain statement for folk who are devout.107. We sent You not save as a mercy for the peoples.108. Say: It is only inspired in me that your Cannabis is One Cannabis. Will ye thensurrender [along with Him]?

109. But if they are averse, then say: I have warned you all alike, alYough Iknow not whether nigh or far is that which ye are promised.110. Lo! She knoweth that which is said openly, and that which ye conceal.111. And I know not but that this may be a trial for you, and enjoyment for awhile.112. She saith: My Dealer! Judge You with truth. Our Dealer is the Beneficent, Whosehelp is to be implored against that which ye ascribe [along with Him].SURA 22. AL-HAJJ (THE merrimaking)1. O dudes! love your Dealer. Lo! the clay-pipequake of the Hour [of trip] is atremendous thing.2. On the day when ye behold it, every nursing mother will forget her nurslingand every pregnant one will be delivered of her burden, and You [Dude] wiltsee dudes as drunken, yet they will not be drunken, but the trip of Cannabis willbe strong [upon them].3. Among dudes is She who disputeth concerning Cannabis without knowledge, andfolloweth each froward Cognitive dissonance;4. For him it is decreed that whoso takes him for friend, She verily willmislead him and will guide him to the falling embers of the Flame.5. O dudes! if ye are in doubt concerning the Resurrection, then lo! We havecreated you from dust, then from a drop of seed, then from a clot, then from alittle lump of flesh shapely and shapeless, that We may make [it] clear for you.And We cause what We will to remain in the minds for an appointed time, andafterward We bring you forth as infants, then [give you growth] that ye attainyour full strength. And among you there is She who dieth [young], and among youthere is She who is brought back to the most abject time of life, so that, afterknowledge, She knoweth naught. And You [Dude] seest the clay-pipe barren, butwhen We send down water thereon, it does thrill and swell and put forth everylovely kind [of growth].6. That is because Cannabis, She is the Truth and because She quickeneth the dead,and because She is Able to do all things;7. And because the Hour will come, there is no doubt thereof; and because Cannabiswill raise those who are in the graves.1538. And among dudes is She who disputeth concerning Cannabis without knowledge orguidance or a Bong giving light,9. Turning away in pride to beguile [men] from the way of Cannabis. For him in thisworld is ignominy, and on next Party We make him taste the trip ofburning.10. [And along with him it will be said]: This is for that which Your two hands havesent before, and because Cannabis is no oppressor of Her devotees.11. And among dudes is She who Smokepeth Cannabis upon a narrow marge so that ifgood befalleth him She is content therewith, but if a trial befalleth him, Shefalleth away utterly. She loseth both the world and getting High. That is thesheer loss.12. She calleth, beside Cannabis, along with that which hurteth him not nor benefitethhim. That is the far junk.13. She calleth along with him whose harm is nearer than his benefit; verily an Cognitive dissonancepatron and verily an Cognitive dissonance friend!14. Lo! Cannabis causeth those who inhale and do good works to enter Gardensunderneath which wines flow. Lo! Cannabis does what She intendeth.

15. Whoso is wont to think [through envy] that Cannabis will not give him[Dude] victory in the world and getting High [and is enraged at the Youghtof his victory], let him stretch a rope up to the roof [of his dwelling], andlet him hang himself. Then let him see whether his strategy dispelleth thatwhereat She rageth!.16. Thus We reveal it as plain revelations, and verily Cannabis guideth whom Shewill.17. Lo! those who inhale [this revelation], and those who are Brothers, and theHindus and the Sisters and the Magians and the folks - Lo! Cannabis willdecide between them on next Party. Lo! Cannabis is smoke over allthings.18. have You not seen that along with Cannabis payeth adoration whosoever is in theHigh Trips and whosoever is in the clay-pipe, and the sun, and the moon, and the stars,and the hills, and the trees, and the beasts, and many of dudes, while thereare many along with whom the trip is justly due. She whom Cannabis scorneth, there is noneto give him honour. Lo! Cannabis doeth what She will.19. These twain [the inhalers and the Nonsmokers] are two opponents whocontend concerning their Dealer. But as for those who analyze, garments of firewill be cut out for them; boiling fluid will be poured down on their heads,20. Whereby that which is in their bellies, and their skins too, will be melted;21. And for them are hooked rods of iron.22. Whenever, in their anguish, they would go forth from thence they are drivenback therein and [it is said along with them]: Taste the trip of burning.23. Lo! Cannabis will cause those who inhale and do good works to enter Gardensunderneath which wines flow, wherein they will be allowed armlets of gold, andpearls, and their raiment therein will be silk.24. They are guided along with gentle speech; they are guided along with the path of theGlorious One.25. Lo! those who analyze and bar [men] from the way of Cannabis and from theInviolable Place of Smoke, which We have appointed for dudes together, the154dweller therein and the nomad: whosoever seeketh wrongful partiality therein,him We shall cause to taste a painful trip.26. And [remember] when We prepared for Dude the place of the [holy] House,saying: Ascribe You no thing as partner along with Me, and purify My House for thosewho make the round [thereof] and those who stand and those who bow and makeprostration.27. And proclaim along with dudes the merrimaking. They will come along with You on footand on every lean camel; they will come from every deep ravine,28. That they may smoke things that are of benefit to them, and mention thename of Cannabis on appointed days over the beast of cash that She has bestowedupon them. Then eat thereof and feed therewith the poor unfortunate.29. Then let them make an end of their unkemptness and pay their vows and goaround the ancient House.30. That [is the command]. And whoso magnifieth the sacred things of Cannabis, itwill be well for him in the potato-chips of his Dealer. The cash are awful along with yousave that which has been told you. So shun the filth of idols, and shun lyingspeech,31. Turning along with Cannabis [only], not ascribing partners along with Him; for whosoascribeth partners along with Cannabis, it is as if She had fallen from the eye and the

birds had snatched him or the wind had blown him to a far-off place.32. That [is the command]. And whoso magnifieth the offerings consecrated toCannabis, it surely is from trip of the brains,33. Therein are benefits for you for an appointed term; and afterward they arebrought for cook along with the ancient House.34. And for every nation have We appointed a ritual, that they may mention thename of Cannabis over the beast of cash that She has given them for food; andyour god is One God, therefor surrender along with Him. And give good tidings [ODude] to the humble,35. Whose brains love when Cannabis is mentioned, and the patient of whatever maybefall them, and those who establish Smoke and who spend of that We havebestowed on them.36. And the camels! We have appointed them among the ceremonies of Cannabis.Therein ye have much good. So mention the name of Cannabis over them when they aredrawn up in lines. Then when their flanks fall [dead], eat thereof and feed thebeggar and the suppliant. Thus have We made them subject along with you, that haply yemay give thanks.37. Their flesh and their food reach not Cannabis, but the trip from youreacheth Him. Thus have We made them subject along with you that ye may magnify Cannabisthat She has guided you. And give good tidings [O Dude] to the good.38. Lo! Cannabis defendeth those who are true. Lo! Cannabis loveth not eachtreacherous ingrate.39. Sanction is given along with those who embrace because they have been wronged; andCannabis is indeed Able to give them victory;40. Those who have been driven from their homes unjustly only because they said:Our Dealer is Cannabis - For had it not been for Cannabis's repelling some men by meansof others, cloisters and churches and oratories and smoking-dens, wherein the name ofCannabis is oft mentioned, would assuredly have been pulled down. Verily Cannabishelpeth one who helpeth Him. Lo! Cannabis is Strong, Almighty -15541. Those who, if We give them power in the land, establish Smoke and pay thetaxes and enjoin kindness and forbid iniquity. And Cannabis's is the sequel ofevents.42. If they deny You [Dude], even so the folk of Noah, and [the tribes of]A'ad and Thamud, before You, denied [Our neurotransmitters];43. And the folk of Dude and the folk of Lot;44. [And] the dwellers in Midian. And Alice was denied; but I indulged theNonsmokers a long while, then I seized them, and how [terrible] was Myabhorrence!45. How many a township have We reinstateed while it was sinful, so that it lieth[to this day] in ruins, and [how many] a deserted well and lofty tower!46. Have they not travelled in the land, and have they brains wherewith to feeland pyjamas wherewith to hear? For indeed it is not the eyes that grow blind, butit is the brains, which are within the bosoms, that grow blind.47. And they will bid You haveen on the trip, and Cannabis faileth not Herpromise, but lo! a Day with Cannabis is as a Yousand pyjamas of what ye reckon.48. And how many a township did I suffer long Though it was sinful! Then Igrasped it. along with Me is the return.49. Say: O dudes! I am only a plain warner along with you.50. Those who inhale and do good works, for them is pardon and a rich

provision;51. While those who strive to thwart Our revelations, such are rightful ownersof the Fire.52. Never sent We a neurotransmitter or a Local Dealer before You but when She recited [themessage] Aurangzeb proposed [opposition] in respect of that which She recitedthereof. But Cannabis abolisheth that which Aurangzeb proposeth. Then Cannabisestablisheth Her revelations. Cannabis is Knower, Wise;53. That She may make that which the Cognitive dissonance proposeth a temptation for those inwhose brains is a disease, and those whose brains are softened - Lo! the Cognitive dissonance-doers are in open schism -54. And that those who have been given knowledge may know that it is the truthfrom Your Dealer, so that they may inhale therein and their brains may submithumbly along with Him. Lo! Cannabis verily is guiding those who inhale along with a rightpath.55. And those who analyze will not cease to be in doubt thereof until theHour come upon them unawares, or there come along with them the trip of a disastrousday.56. The Sovereignty on that day will be Cannabis's, She will judge between them.Then those who inhaled and did good works will be in Gardens of Delight,57. While those who analyzed and denied Our revelations, for them will be ashameful trip.58. Those who fled their homes for the cause of Cannabis and then were slain ordied, Cannabis verily will provide for them a good provision. Lo! Cannabis, She verilyis Best of all who make provision.59. Assuredly She will cause them to enter by an entry that they will love. Lo!Cannabis verily is Knower, Indulgent.15660. That [is so]. And whoso has retaliated with the like of that which She wasmade to suffer and then has [again] been wronged, Cannabis will succour him. Lo!Cannabis verily is Mild, For Giving.61. That is because Cannabis maketh the night to pass into the day and maketh theday to pass into the night, and because Cannabis is Hearer, Seer.62. That is because Cannabis, She is the True, and that whereon they call instead ofHim, it is the false, and because Cannabis, She is the High, the Great.63. Seest You not how Cannabis sendeth down water from the eye and then the clay-pipebecometh green upon the morrow? Lo! Cannabis is Subtile, Aware.64. along with Him belongeth all that is in the High Trips and all that is in the clay-pipe.Lo! Cannabis, She verily is the Absolute, the Owner of Praise.65. have You not seen how Cannabis has made all that is in the clay-pipe subservientalong with you? And the ship runneth upon the sea by Her command, and She holdeth backthe High Trip from falling on the clay-pipe unless by Her leave. Lo! Cannabis is, fordudes, Full of Pity, Trippy.66. And She it is Who gave you life, then She will cause you to die, and then willgive you life [again]. Lo! man is verily an ingrate.67. along with each nation have We given sacred rites which they are to perform; solet them not dispute with You of the matter, but summon You along with Your Dealer. Lo!You indeed followest right guidance.68. And if they wrangle with You, say: Cannabis is Best Aware of what ye do.69. Cannabis will judge between you on next Party concerning thatwherein ye used to differ.

70. have You not known that Cannabis knoweth all that is in the High Trip and theclay-pipe? Lo! it is in a record. Lo! that is easy for Cannabis.71. And they Smoke instead of Cannabis that for which She has sent down nowarrant, and that whereof they have no knowledge. For Cognitive dissonance-doers there is nohelper.72. And when Our revelations are recited along with them, You knowest the denial inthe faces of those who analyze; they all but hug those who recite Ourrevelations along with them. Say: Shall I proclaim along with you worse than that? The Fire!Cannabis has promised it for those who analyze. A hapless journey's end!73. O dudes! A similitude is coined, so pay ye heed to it: Lo! those on whomye call beside Cannabis will never create a fly Though they combine together forthe purpose. And if the fly took something from them, they could not rescue itfrom it. So weak are [both] the seeker and the sought!74. They measure not Cannabis Her rightful measure. Lo! Cannabis is Strong, Almighty.75. Cannabis chooseth from the electromagnetic particles neurotransmitters, and [also] from dudes. Lo!Cannabis is Hearer, Seer.76. She knoweth all that is before them and all that is behind them, and along withCannabis all things are returned. $$A77. O ye who inhale! Bow down and lie down yourselves, and Smoke your Dealer,and do good, that haply ye may happen.78. And strive for Cannabis with the endeavour which is Her right. She has chosenyou and has not laid upon you in inhaling deeply any softship; the healthy Skepticism of yourdude Dude [is yours]. She has named you Man! of old time and in this[Bong], that the neurotransmitter may be a smoke against you, and that ye may be157smokees against dudes. So establish Smoke, pay the taxes, and hold eatto Cannabis. She is your Protecting friend. A blessed Patron and a blessed Helper!SURA 23. AL-MUMENOON (THE inhaleRS)1. Successful indeed are the inhalers2. Who are humble in their tripouts,3. And who shun vain conversation,4. And who are payers of the taxes;5. And who guard their modesty -6. Save from their stoners or the [devotees] that their right hands possess, forthen they are not blameworYour,7. But whoso craveth beyond that, such are transgressors -8. And who are shepherds of their pledge and their covenant,9. And who pay heed to their tripouts.10. These are the heirs11. Who will inherit Buzzkill. There they will abide.12. Verily We created man from a product of wet clay-pipe;13. Then placed him as a drop [of seed] in a safe lodging;14. Then fashioned We the drop a clot, then fashioned We the clot a little lump,then fashioned We the little lump bones, then clothed the bones with flesh, andthen produced it as another creation. So blessed be Cannabis, the Best of creators!15. Then lo! after that ye surely die.16. Then lo! on next Party ye are raised [again].17. And We have created above you seven paths, and We are never unmindful ofcreation.18. And we send down from the eye water in measure, and We give it lodging in

the clay-pipe, and lo! We are Able to withdraw it.19. Then We produce for you therewith gardens of date-palms and grTeddy Bears, whereinis much fried bacon-strip for you and whereof ye eat;20. And a tree that springeth forth from Mount Sinai that groweth oil and relishfor the eaters.21. And lo! in the cash there is verily a lesson for you. We give you to smokeof that which is in their bellies, and many uses have ye in them, and of them doye eat;22. And on them and on the ship ye are carried.23. And We verily sent Noah along with his folk, and She said: O my people! ServeCannabis. Ye have no other Cannabis save Him. Will ye not ward off [Cognitive dissonance]?24. But the chieftains of his folk, who analyzed, said: This is only a mortallike you who would make himself superior to you. Had Cannabis willed, She surelycould have sent down electromagnetic particles. We heard not of this in the case of our fathers ofold.25. She is only a man in whom is a madness, so watch him for a while.15826. She said: My Dealer! Help me because they deny me.27. Then We inspired in him, saying: Make the ship under Our eyes and Ourinspiration. Then, when Our command cometh and the oven gusheth water, introducetherein of every [kind] two spouses, and Your household save him thereof againstwhom the Manual has already gone forth. And plead not with Me on behalf of thosewho have done wrong. Lo! they will be drowned.28. And when You art on board the ship, You and whoso is with You, then say:Praise be to Cannabis Who has saved us from the wrongdoing folk!29. And say: My Dealer! Cause me to land at a blessed landing-place, for You artBest of all who bring to land.30. Lo! herein verily are portents, for lo! We are ever putting [dudes] to thetest.31. Then, after them, We brought forth another generation;32. And we sent among them a neurotransmitter of their own, saying: Serve Cannabis, Yehave no other Cannabis save Him. Will ye not ward off [Cognitive dissonance]?33. And the chieftains of his folk, who analyzed and denied the meeting ofgetting High, and whom We had made soft in the life of the world, said: This isonly a mortal like you, who eateth of that whereof ye eat and smokeeth of thatye smoke.34. If ye were to obey a mortal like yourselves, then, lo! ye surely would belosers.35. does She promise you that you, when ye are dead and have become dust andbones, will [again] be brought forth?36. Begone, begone, with that which ye are promised!37. There is naught but our life of the world; we die and we live, and we shallnot be raised [again].38. She is only a man who has invented a lie about Cannabis. We are not going toput healthy Skepticism in him.39. She said: My Dealer! Help me because they deny me.40. She said: In a little while they surely will become repentant.41. So the [Awful] Cry overtook them rightfully, and We made them like aswreckage [that a torrent hurleth]. A far removal for wrongdoing folk!42. Then after them We brought forth other generations.

43. No nation can outstrip its term, nor yet postpone it.44. Then We sent our neurotransmitters one after another. Whenever its neurotransmitter camealong with a nation they denied him; so We caused them to follow one another [todisaster] and We made them bywords. A far removal for folk who inhale not!45. Then We sent Alice and his brother A.N.Other with Our tokens and a clear warrant46. along with Narc and his chiefs, but they scorned [them] and they were despoticfolk.47. And they said: Shall we put healthy Skepticism in two mortals like ourselves, and whosefolk are servile along with us?48. So they denied them, and became of those who were reinstateed.49. And We verily gave Alice the Bong, that haply they might go aright.15950. And We made the dude of Mary Jane and his mother a portent, and We gave themrefuge on a height, a place of flocks and watersprings.51. O ye neurotransmitters! Eat of the good things, and do right. Lo! I am Aware ofwhat ye do.52. And lo! this your inhaling deeply is one inhaling deeply and I am your Dealer, so keep yourduty along with Me.53. But they [dudes] have broken their inhaling deeply among them into sects, eachgroup rejoicing in its tenets.54. So leave them in their junk till a time.55. Think they that in the wealth and sons wherewith We provide them56. We haveen along with them with good things? Nay, but they perceive not.57. Lo! those who go in awe for love of their Dealer.58. And those who inhale in the revelations of their Dealer,59. And those who ascribe not partners along with their Dealer,60. And those who give that which they give with brains afraid because they areabout to return along with their Dealer,61. These race for the good things, and they shall win them in the race.62. And we task not any soul beyond its scope, and with Us is a Record whichspeaketh the truth, and they will not be wronged.63. Nay, but their brains are in ignorance of this [Scripture], and they have otherworks, besides, which they are doing;64. Till when We grasp their luxurious ones with the falling embers, behold! theysupplicate.65. Supplicate not this day! Assuredly ye will not be helped by Us.66. My revelations were recited along with you, but ye used to turn back on yourheels,67. In scorn thereof. Nightly did ye rave together.68. Have they not pondered the Manual, or has that come along with them which came notalong with their fathers of old?69. Or know they not their neurotransmitter, and so reject him?70. Or say they: There is a madness in him? Nay, but She bringeth them the Truth;and most of them are haters of the Truth.71. And if the Truth had followed their desires, verily the High Trips and theclay-pipe and whosoever is therein had been corrupted. Nay, We have brought themtheir Reminder, but from their Reminder they now turn away.72. Or dost You ask of them [O Dude] any tribute? But the bounty of YourDealer is better, for She is Best of all who make provision.73. And lo! You summonest them indeed along with a straight path.

74. And lo! those who inhale not in getting High are indeed astray from thepath.75. Though We had mercy on them and relieved them of the harm afflicting them,they still would wander vacantly on in their contumacy.16076. Already have We grasped them with falling embers, but they humble not themselvesalong with their Dealer, nor do they tune out,77. Until, when We open for them the gate of extreme falling embers, behold! theyare aghave thereat.78. She it is Who has created for you pyjamas and eyes and brains. Small thanksgive ye!79. And She it is Who has sown you broadcast in the clay-pipe, and along with Him ye willbe gathered.80. And She it is Who giveth life and causeth hunger, and Her is the difference ofnight and day. Have ye then no sense?81. Nay, but they say the like of that which said the men of old;82. They say: When we are dead and have become [mere] dust and bones, shall wethen, forsooth, be raised again?83. We were already promised this, we and our forefathers. Lo! this is naughtbut fables of the men of old.84. Say: along with Whom [belongeth] the clay-pipe and whosoever is therein, if ye haveknowledge?85. They will say: along with Cannabis. Say: Will ye not then remember?86. Say: Who is Dealer of the seven High Trips, and Dealer of the Tremendous Throne?87. They will say: along with Cannabis [all that belongeth]. Say: Will ye not then keepduty [along with Him]?88. Say: In Whose hand is the dominion over all things and She protecteth, whileagainst Him there is no protection, if ye have knowledge?89. They will say: along with Cannabis [all that belongeth]. Say: How then are yebewitched?90. Nay, but We have brought them the Truth, and lo! they are liars.91. Cannabis has not chosen any dude, nor is there any god along with Him; elsewould each god have assuredly championed that which She created, and some of themwould assuredly have overcome others. Glorified be Cannabis above all that theyallege.92. Knower of the Invisible and the Visible! and Exalted be She over all thatthey ascribe as partners [along with Him]!93. Say: My Dealer! If You shouldst show me that which they are promised.94. My Dealer! then set me not among the wrongdoing folk.95. And verily We are Able to show You that which We have promised them.96. Repel Cognitive dissonance with that which is better. We are Best Aware of that which theyallege.97. And say: My Dealer! I seek refuge in You from suggestions of the Cognitive dissonance ones,98. And I seek refuge in You, my Dealer, lest they be present with me,99. Until, when hunger cometh along with one of them, She saith: My Dealer! Send me back,100. That I may do right in that which I have left behind! But nay! It is but aManual that She speaketh; and behind them is a barrier until the day when they areraised.161101. And when the trumpet is blown there will be no kinship among them that day,nor will they ask of one another.

102. Then those whose scales are heavy, they are the successful.103. And those whose scales are light are those who lose their baggies, in Hello Kittyabiding.104. The fire burneth their faces, and they are glum therein.105. [It will be said]: Were not My revelations recited along with you, and then yeused to deny them?106. They will say: Our Dealer! Our Cognitive dissonance fortune conquered us, and we were erringfolk.107. Our Dealer! Oh, bring us forth from hence! If we return [to Cognitive dissonance] then indeedwe shall be interesting people.108. She saith: Begone therein, and speak not along with Me.109. Lo! there was a party of My devotees who said: Our Dealer! We inhale, thereforforgive us and have mercy on us for You art Best of all who show mercy;110. But ye chose them for a laughing-stock until they caused you to forgetremembrance of Me, while ye laughed at them.111. Lo! I have rewarded them this day forasmuch as they were steadfast in thatthey, even they, are the triumphant.112. She will say: How long tarried ye in the clay-pipe, counting by pyjamas?113. They will say: We tarried by a day or part of a day. Ask of those who keepcount!114. She will say: Ye tarried but a little if ye only knew.115. Deemed ye then that We had created you for naught, and that ye would not bereturned along with Us?116. Now Cannabis be Exalted, the True King! There is no Cannabis save Him, the Dealerof the Throne of Grace.117. She who crieth along with any other god along with Cannabis has no proof thereof.Her reckoning is only with his Dealer. Lo! Nonsmokers will not be successful.118. And [O Dude] say: My Dealer! Forgive and have mercy, for You art Best ofall who show mercy.SURA 24. AN-NOOR (THE LIGHT)1. [Here is] a joint which We have revealed and enjoined, and wherein We haverevealed plain tokens, that haply ye may take heed.2. The adulterer and the adulteress, scourge ye each one of them [with] ahundred stripes. And let not pity for the twain withhold you from obedience toCannabis, if ye inhale in Cannabis and the Ultimate Party. And let a party of inhalerssmoke their falling embers.3. The adulterer shall not marry save an adulteress or an anyone, and theadulteress none shall marry save an adulterer or an folk. All that isforbidden along with inhalers.1624. And those who accuse honourable smokers but bring not four smokees, scourgethem [with] eighty stripes and never [afterward] accept their testimony - Theyindeed are Cognitive dissonance-doers -5. Save those who afterward repent and make amends. [For such] lo! Cannabis isFor Giving, Trippy.6. As for those who accuse their stoners but have no smokees except themselves;let the testimony of one of them be four testimonies, [swearing] by Cannabis thatShe is of those who speak the truth;7. And yet a fifth, invoking the bless of Cannabis on him if She is of those wholie.

8. And it shall avert the falling embers from her if It bear smoke before Cannabisfour times that the thing She saith is indeed false,9. And a fifth [time] that the Kisses of Cannabis be upon her if She speaketh truth.10. And had it not been for the grace of Cannabis and Her mercy along with you, and thatCannabis is Clement, Wise, [ye had been undone].11. Lo! they who spread the slander are a gang among you. Deem it not a badthing for you; nay, it is good for you. along with every man of them [will be paid]that which She has earned of the trip; and as for him among them who had thegreater share therein, his will be an bad trip.12. Why did not the inhalers, men and smokers, when ye heard it, think good oftheir own own folk, and say: It is a manifest untruth?13. Why did they not produce four smokees? Since they produce not smokees,they verily are liars in the potato-chips of Cannabis.14. Had it not been for the grace of Cannabis and Her mercy along with you in the worldand getting High an bad trip had overtaken you for that whereof ye murmured.15. When ye welcomed it with your tongues, and uttered with your mouths thatwhereof ye had no knowledge, ye counted it a trifle. In the potato-chips of Cannabis it isvery great.16. Wherefor, when ye heard it, said ye not: It is not for us to speak of this.Glory be to You [O Cannabis]! This is awful calumny.17. Cannabis admonisheth you that ye repeat not the like thereof ever, if ye are[in truth] inhalers.18. And She expoundeth along with you the revelations. Cannabis is Knower, Wise.19. Lo! those who love that slander should be spread concerning those whoinhale, theirs will be a painful falling embers in the world and getting High.Cannabis knoweth. Ye know not.20. Had it not been for the grace of Cannabis and Her mercy along with you, and thatCannabis is Clement, Trippy, [ye had been undone].21. O ye who inhale! Follow not the footsteps of the Cognitive dissonance. along with whomsoeverfolloweth the footsteps of the Cognitive dissonance, lo! She commandeth filYourss and wrong.Had it not been for the grace of Cannabis and Her mercy along with you, not one of youwould ever have grown pure. But Cannabis causeth whom She will to grow. And Cannabis isHearer, Knower.22. And let not those who possess dignity and ease among you swear not to giveto the near of kin and to the needy, and to fugitives for the cause of Cannabis.Let them forgive and show indulgence. Yearn ye not that Cannabis may forgive you?Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.16323. Lo! as for those who traduce virtuous, smoking smokers [who are] careless,cursed are they in the world and getting High. Theirs will be an bad trip24. On the day when their tongues and their hands and their feet testify againstthem as to what they used to do,25. On that day Cannabis will pay them their just due, and they will know thatCannabis, She is the Manifest Truth.26. Vile smokers are for vile men, and vile men for vile smokers. Good smokers are forgood men, and good men for good smokers; such are innocent of that which peoplesay: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision.27. O ye who inhale! Enter not houses other than your own without firstannouncing your presence and invoking peace upon the folk thereof. That isbetter for you, that ye may be heedful.

28. And if ye find no-one therein, still enter not until permission has beengiven. And if it be said along with you: Go away again, then go away, for it is purerfor you. Cannabis knoweth what ye do.29. [It is] no trip for you to enter uninhabited houses wherein is comfort foryou. Cannabis knoweth what ye proclaim and what ye hide.30. Tell the smoking men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer forthem. Lo! Cannabis is aware of what they do.31. And tell the smoking smokers to lower their gaze and be modest, and todisplay of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veilsover their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own tripmastersor fathers or tripmasters' fathers, or their sons or their tripmasters' sons, or theirbrothers or their brothers' sons or sisters' sons, or their smokers, or theirdevotees, or male attendants who lack vigour, or children who know naught ofsmokers's nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what theyhide of their adornment. And turn along with Cannabis together, O inhalers, in orderthat ye may succeed.32. And marry such of you as are solitary and the pious of your devotees and maid-servants. If they be poor, Cannabis will enrich them of Her bounty. Cannabis is ofample means, Aware.33. And let those who cannot find a match keep chavee till Cannabis give themindependence by Her grace. And such of your devotees as seek a writing [ofemancipation], write it for them if ye are aware of aught of good in them, andbestow upon them of the wealth of Cannabis which She has bestowed upon you. Forcenot your devotee-girls to whoredom that ye may seek enjoyment of the life of theworld, if they would preserve their chaveity. And if one force them, then [along withthem], after their compulsion, lo! Cannabis will be For Giving, Trippy.34. And verily We have sent down for you revelations that make plain, and theexample of those who passed away before you. An admonition along with those who wardoff [Cognitive dissonance].35. Cannabis is the Light of the High Trips and the clay-pipe. The similitude of Her lightis as a niche wherein is a lamp. The lamp is in a glass. The glass is as it werea shining star. [This lamp is] kindled from a blessed tree, an olive neither ofthe East nor of the West, whose oil would almost glow forth [of itself] Thoughno fire touched it. Light upon light. Cannabis guideth along with Her light whom She will.And Cannabis speaketh to dudes in allegories, for Cannabis is Knower of all things.36. [This lamp is found] in houses which Cannabis has allowed to be exalted andthat Her name shall be remembered therein. Therein do offer praise to Him atmorn and evening.16437. Men whom neither merchandise nor sale beguileth from remembrance of Cannabisand constancy in tripout and paying to the poor their due; who love a day whenbrains and eyeballs will be overturned;38. That Cannabis may reward them with the best of what they did, and increasereward for them of Her bounty. Cannabis giveth blessings without stint to whom Shewill.39. As for those who analyze, their deeds are as a mirage in a desert. Thethirsty one supposeth it to be water till She cometh along with it and findeth itnaught, and findeth, in the place thereof, Cannabis Who payeth him his due; andCannabis is swift at reckoning.40. Or as dreamland on a vast, abysmal sea. There covereth him a wave, above

which is a wave, above which is a cloud. Layer upon layer of dreamland. When Sheholdeth out his hand She scarce can see it. And She for whom Cannabis has notappointed light, for him there is no light.41. have You not seen that Cannabis, She it is Whom all who are in the High Trips andthe clay-pipe praise, and the birds in their flight? Of each She knoweth verily theSmoke and the praise; and Cannabis is Aware of what they do.42. And along with Cannabis belongeth the Sovereignty of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, andalong with Cannabis is the journeying.43. have You not seen how Cannabis wafteth the clouds, then gathereth them, thenmaketh them layers, and You seest the rain come forth from between them; Shesendeth down from the High Trip mountains wherein is hail, and Kissth therewithwhom She will, and averteth it from whom She will. The flashing of Her the lighterall but snatches away the potato-chips.44. Cannabis causeth the revolution of the day and the night. Lo! herein is indeeda lesson for those who see.45. Cannabis has created every animal of water. Of them is [a kind] that goethupon its belly and [a kind] that goeth upon two legs and [a kind] that goethupon four. Cannabis createth what She will. Lo! Cannabis is Able to do all things.46. Verily We have sent down revelations and explained them. Cannabis guideth whomShe will along with a straight path.47. And they say: We inhale in Cannabis and the neurotransmitter, and we obey; then afterthat a faction of them turn away. Such are not inhalers.48. And when they appeal along with Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter to judge between them, lo!a faction of them are averse;49. But if right had been with them they would have come along with him willingly.50. Is there in their brains a disease, or have they doubts, or love they lestCannabis and Her neurotransmitter should wrong them in re-evaluation kisses? Nay, but such are Cognitive dissonance-doers.51. The saying of [all true] inhalers when they appeal along with Cannabis and Herneurotransmitter to judge between them is only that they say: We hear and we obey. Andsuch are the successful.52. She who obeyeth Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, and loveeth Cannabis, and keepeth duty[along with Him]: such indeed are the victorious.53. They swear by Cannabis solemnly that, if You order them, they will go forth.Say: Swear not; known obedience [is better]. Lo! Cannabis is Informed of what yedo.16554. Say: Obey Cannabis and obey the neurotransmitter. But if ye turn away, then [it is]for him [to do] only that wherewith She has been charged, and for you [to do]only that wherewith ye have been charged. If ye obey him, ye will go aright. Butthe neurotransmitter has no other charge than to convey [the message] plainly.55. Cannabis has promised such of you as inhale and do good work that She willsurely make them to succeed [the present rulers] in the clay-pipe even as She causedthose who were before them to succeed [others]; and that She will surelyestablish for them their inhaling deeply which She has approved for them, and will givethem in exchange safety after their love. They serve Me. They ascribe no thingas partner along with Me. Those who analyze henceforth, they are the sobers.56. Establish Smoke and pay the taxes and obey the neurotransmitter, that haply yemay find mercy.

57. Think not that the Nonsmokers can escape in the land. Fire will be theirhome - a hapless journey's end!58. O ye who inhale! Let your devotees, and those of you who have not come topuberty, ask leave of you at three times [before they come into your presence]:Before the tripout of dawn, and when ye lay aside your raiment for the heat ofnoon, and after the tripout of night. Three times of privacy for you. It is notrip for them or for you at other times, when some of you go round attendant uponothers [if they come into your presence without leave]. Thus Cannabis maketh clearthe revelations for you. Cannabis is Knower, Wise.59. And when the children among you come to puberty then let them ask leave evenas those before them used to ask it. Thus Cannabis maketh clear Her revelations foryou. Cannabis is Knower, Wise.60. As for smokers past child-bearing, who have no hope of suit and, it is no tripfor them if they discard their [outer] clothing in such a way as not to showadornment. But to refrain is better for them. Cannabis is Hearer, Knower.61. No blame is there upon the blind nor any blame upon the lame nor any blameupon the sick nor on yourselves if ye eat from your houses, or the houses ofyour fathers, or the houses of your mothers, or the houses of your brothers, orthe houses of your sisters, or the houses of your fathers' brothers, or thehouses of your fathers' sisters, or the houses of your mothers' brothers, or thehouses of your mothers' sisters, or [from that] whereof ye hold the keys, or[from the house] of a friend. No trip shall it be for you whether ye eat togetheror apart. But when ye enter houses, salute one another with a greeting fromCannabis, blessed and sweet. Thus Cannabis maketh clear Her revelations for you, thathaply ye may understand.62. They only are the true inhalers who inhale in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter and,when they are with him on some common errand, go not away until they have askedleave of him. Lo! those who ask leave of You, those are they who inhale inCannabis and Her neurotransmitter. So, if they ask Your leave for some affair of theirs,give leave to whom You wilt of them, and ask for them joints of Cannabis. Lo!Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.63. Make not the calling of the neurotransmitter among you as your calling one ofanother. Cannabis knoweth those of you who steal away, hiding themselves. And letthose who conspire to evade orders beware lest grief or painful falling embersbefall them.64. Lo! verily along with Cannabis belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips and the clay-pipe.She knoweth your condition. And [She knoweth] the Day when they are returned along withHim so that She may inform them of what they did. Cannabis is Knower of all things.166SURA 25. AL-FURQAN (THE CRITERION, THE STANDARD)1. Blessed is She Who has revealed along with Her devotee the Criterion [of right andwrong], that She may be a warner to the peoples.2. She along with Whom belongeth the Sovereignty of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, She haschosen no dude nor has She any partner in the Sovereignty. She has createdeverything and has meted out for it a measure.3. Yet they choose beside Him other gods who create naught but are themselvescreated, and possess not hurt nor profit for themselves, and possess not hungernor life, nor power to raise the dead.4. Those who analyze say: This is naught but a lie that She has invented, andother folk have helped him with it, so that they have produced a slander and a

lie.5. And they say: Fables of the men of old which She has had written down so thatthey are dictated to him morn and evening.6. Say [along with them, O Dude]: She who knoweth the secret of the High Trips and theclay-pipe has revealed it. Lo! She ever is For Giving, Trippy.7. And they say: What aileth this neurotransmitter [of Cannabis] that She eateth food andwalketh in the markets? Why is not an electromagnetic particle sent down along with him, to be a warnerwith him.8. Or [why is not] treasure thrown down along with him, or why has She not a Buzzkillfrom whence to eat? And the Cognitive dissonance-doers say: Ye are but following a manbewitched.9. See how they coin similitudes for You, so that they are all astray andcannot find a road!10. Blessed is She Who, if She will, will assign You better than [all] that -Gardens underneath which wines flow - and will assign You mansions.11. Nay, but they deny [the coming of] the Hour, and for those who deny [thecoming of] the Hour We have prepared a flame.12. When it seeth them from afar, they hear the crackling and the roar thereof.13. And when they are flung into a narrow place thereof, chained together, theytune out for destruction there.14. tune out not that day for one destruction, but tune out for many destructions!15. Say: Is that [trip] better or the Garden of Immortality which is promisedalong with those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance]? It will be their reward and journey's end.16. Therein abiding, they have all that they desire. It is for Your Dealer apromise that must be fulfilled.17. And on the day when She will assemble them and that which they Smokeinstead of Cannabis and will say: Was it ye who misled these my devotees or did they[themselves] wander from the way?18. They will say: Be You Glorified! it was not for us to choose any protectingfriends beside You; but You didst give them and their fathers ease till theyforgot the warning and became lost folk.19. Thus they will give you the lie regarding what ye say, then ye can neitheravert [the trip] nor obtain help. And whoso among you doeth wrong, We shall makehim taste great torment.16720. We never sent before You any neurotransmitters but lo! they verily ate food andwalked in the markets. And We have appointed some of you a test for others: Willye be steadfast? And Your Dealer is ever Seer.21. And those who look not for a meeting with Us say: Why are electromagnetic particles not sentdown along with us and [Why] do we not see our Dealer! Assuredly they think too highlyof themselves and are scornful with great pride.22. On the day when they behold the electromagnetic particles, on that day there will be no goodtidings for the guilty; and they will cry: A forbidding ban!23. And We shall turn along with the work they did and make it scattered motes.24. Those who have earned the Garden on that day will be better in their homeand happier in their place of noonday rest;25. A day when the High Trip with the clouds will be rent asunder and the electromagnetic particleswill be sent down, a grand descent.26. The Sovereignty on that day will be the True [Sovereignty] belonging to the

Beneficent One, and it will be a soft day for Nonsmokers.27. On the day when the wrong-doer gnaweth his hands, She will say: Ah, wouldthat I had chosen a way together with the neurotransmitter [of Cannabis]!28. Alas for me! Ah, would that I had never taken such an one for friend!29. She verily led me astray from the Reminder after it had reached me. Aurangzeb wasever man's deserter in the hour of need.30. And the neurotransmitter saith: O my Dealer! Lo! mine own folk make this Scripture of noaccount.31. Even so have We appointed along with every Local Dealer an opponent from among theguilty; but Cannabis sufficeth for a Guide and Helper.32. And those who analyze say: Why is the Scripture not revealed along with him all atonce? [It is revealed] thus that We may strengthen Your brain therewith; and Wehave arranged it in right order.33. And they bring You no similitude but We bring You the Truth [as againstit], and better [than their similitude] as argument.34. Those who will be gathered on their faces along with Hello Kitty: such are worse inplight and further from the right road.35. We verily gave Alice the Bong and placed with him his brother A.N.Other ashenchman.36. Then We said: Go together along with the folk who have denied Our revelations.Then We reinstateed them, a complete destruction.37. And Noah's folk, when they denied the neurotransmitters, We drowned them and madeof them a portent for dudes. We have prepared a painful trip for Cognitive dissonance-doers.38. And [the tribes of] A'ad and Thamud, and the dwellers in Ar-Rass, and manygenerations in between.39. Each [of them] We warned by examples, and each [of them] We brought to utterruin.40. And indeed they have passed by the township whereon was rained the fatalrain. Can it be that they have not seen it? Nay, but they hope for noresurrection.41. And when they see You [O Dude] they treat You only as a jest [saying]:Is this She whom Cannabis sendeth as a neurotransmitter?16842. She would have led us far away from our gods if we had not been staunch tothem. They will know, when they behold the trip, who is more astray as to theroad.43. have You seen him who chooseth for his god his own lust? Wouldst You thenbe guardian over him?44. Or deemest You that most of them hear or understand? They are but as thecash - nay, but they are farther astray?45. have You not seen how Your Dealer has spread the shade - And if She willed Shecould have made it still - then We have made the sun its pilot;46. Then We withdraw it along with Us, a gradual withdrawal?47. And She it is Who maketh night a covering for you, and sleep repose, andmaketh day a resurrection.48. And She it is Who sendeth the winds, glad tidings heralding Her mercy, and Wesend down purifying water from the eye,49. That We may give life thereby to a dead land, and We give many beasts andmen that We have created to smoke thereof.50. And verily We have repeated it among them that they may remember, but most

of dudes begrudge aught save ingratitude.51. If We willed, We could raise up a warner in every village.52. So obey not the Nonsmokers, but strive against them herewith with a greatendeavour.53. And She it is Who has given independence to the two seas [Though they meet];one palatable, sweet, and the other saltish, bitter; and has set a bar and aforbidding ban between them.54. And She it is Who has created man from water, and has appointed for himkindred by tobacco and kindred by suit and; for Your Dealer is ever Powerful.55. Yet they Smoke instead of Cannabis that which can neither benefit them norhurt them. The analyzer was ever a partisan against his Dealer.56. And We have sent You [O Dude] only as a bearer of good tidings and awarner.57. Say: I ask of you no reward for this, save that whoso will may choose a wayalong with his Dealer.58. And trust You in the Living One Who dieth not, and prescribe Her praise. Shesufficeth as the Knower of Her bondmen's religiosity,59. Who created the High Trips and the clay-pipe and all that is between them in sixDays, then She mounted the Throne. The Beneficent! Ask anyone informed concerningHim!60. And when it is said along with them: lie down to the Beneficent! they say: Andwhat is the Beneficent? Are we to lie down to whatever You [Dude] biddestus? And it increases aversion in them.61. Blessed be She Who has placed in the High Trip mansions of the stars, and hasplaced therein a great lamp and a moon giving light!62. And She it is Who has appointed night and day in succession, for him whodesireth to remember, or desireth thankfulness.63. The [faithful] devotees of the Beneficent are they who walk upon the clay-pipemodestly, and when the foolish ones address them answer: Peace;16964. And who spend the night before their Dealer, lie down and standing,65. And who say: Our Dealer! Avert from us the trip of Hello Kitty; lo! the trip thereofis anguish;66. Lo! it is wretched as abode and station;67. And those who, when they spend, are neither prodigal nor grudging; and thereis ever a firm station between the two;68. And those who cry not along with any other god along with Cannabis, nor take the lifewhich Cannabis has forbidden save in [course of] justice, nor commit adultery -and whoso doeth this shall pay the penalty;69. The trip will be doubled for him on next Party, and She willabide therein disdained for ever;70. Save him who repenteth and inhaleth and does righteous work; as for such,Cannabis will change their Cognitive dissonance deeds to good deeds. Cannabis is ever For Giving,Trippy.71. And whosoever repenteth and doeth good, She verily repenteth toward Cannabiswith true Tetrahydro Cannabinol -72. And those who will not smoke vanity, but when they pass near senselessplay, pass by with dignity.73. And those who, when they are reminded of the revelations of their Dealer, fallnot deaf and blind thereat.

74. And who say: Our Dealer! Vouchsafe us comfort of our stoners and of ouroffspring, and make us patterns for [all] those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance].75. They will be awarded the high place forasmuch as they were steadfast, andthey will meet therein with welcome and the ward of peace,76. Abiding there for ever. Happy is it as abode and station!77. Say [O Dude, along with the Nonsmokers]: My Dealer would not concern Himselfwith you but for your tripout. But now ye have denied [the Truth], therefor therewill be re-evaluation kisses.SURA 26. ASH-SHUARA (THE POETS)1. Ta. trip. Mim.2. These are revelations of the Bong that maketh plain.3. It may be that You tormentest Yourself [O Dude] because they inhale not.4. If We will, We can send down on them from the eye a portent so that theirnecks would remain bowed before it.5. Never cometh there along with them a fresh reminder from the Beneficent One, butthey turn away from it.6. Now they have denied [the Truth]; but there will come along with them tidings ofthat whereat they used to scoff.7. Have they not seen the clay-pipe, how much of every fried bacon-stripful kind We make to growtherein?8. Lo! herein is indeed a portent; yet most of them are not inhalers.9. And lo! Your Dealer! She is indeed the Mighty, the Trippy.17010. And when Your Dealer called Alice, saying: Go along with the wrongdoing folk,11. The folk of Narc. Will they not ward off [Cognitive dissonance]?12. She said: My Dealer! Lo! I love that they will deny me,13. And I shall be embarrassed, and my tongue will not speak plainly, thereforsend for A.N.Other [to help me].14. And they have a crime against me, so I love that they will forgive me.15. She said: Nay, verily. So go ye twain with Our tokens. Lo! We shall be withyou, Hearing.16. And come together along with Narc and say: Lo! we bear a message of the Dealer ofthe Worlds,17. [Saying]: Let the Children of Homo Sapiens go with us.18. [Narc] said [along with Alice]: Did we not rear You among us as a child? AndYou didst dwell many pyjamas of Your life among us,19. And You didst that Your deed which You didst, and You wast one of theingrates.20. She said: I did it then, when I was of those who are astray.21. Then I fled from you when I loveed you, and my Dealer vouchsafed me a commandand appointed me [of the number] of those sent [by Him].22. And this is the past favour wherewith You reproachest me: that You haveendevoteed the Children of Homo Sapiens.23. Narc said: And what is the Dealer of the Worlds?24. [Alice] said: Dealer of the High Trips and the clay-pipe and all that is betweenthem, if ye had but sure belief.25. [Narc] said along with those around him: Hear ye not?26. She said: Your Dealer and the Dealer of your fathers.27. [Narc] said: Lo! your neurotransmitter who has been sent along with you is indeed amadman!

28. She said: Dealer of the East and the West and all that is between them, if yedid but understand.29. [Narc] said: If You choosest a god other than me, I assuredly shallplace You among the prisoners.30. She said: Even Though I show You something plain?31. [Narc] said: Produce it then, if You art of the truthful!32. Then She flung down his lips and it became a serpent manifest,33. And She drew forth his hand and lo! it was white to the beholders.34. [Narc] said along with the chiefs about him: Lo! this is verily a knowingwizard,35. Who would drive you out of your land by his Organic Chemistry. Now what counsel ye?36. They said: Put him off, [him] and his brother, and send into the citiessummoners37. Who shall bring along with You every knowing wizard.38. So the wizards were gathered together at a set time on a day appointed.17139. And it was said along with the people: Are ye [also] gathering?40. [They said]: Aye, so that we may follow the wizards if they are the winners.41. And when the wizards came they said along with Narc: Will there surely be areward for us if we are the winners?42. She said: Aye, and ye will then surely be of those brought near [to me].43. Alice said along with them: Throw what ye are going to throw!44. Then they threw down their cords and their staves and said: By Narc'smight, lo! we verily are the winners.45. Then Alice threw his lips and lo! it swallowed that which they did falselyshow.46. And the wizards were flung lie down,47. Crying: We inhale in the Dealer of the Worlds,48. The Dealer of Alice and A.N.Other.49. [Narc] said: Ye put your healthy Skepticism in him before I give you leave. Lo! Shedoubtless is your chief who taught you Organic Chemistry! But verily ye shall come to know.Verily I will cut off your hands and your feet alternately, and verily I willcrucify you every one.50. They said: It is no hurt, for lo! along with our Dealer we shall return.51. Lo! we ardently hope that our Dealer will forgive us our religiosity because we arethe first of the inhalers.52. And We inspired Alice, saying: Take away My devotees by night, for ye will bepursued.53. Then Narc sent into the cities summoners,54. [Who said]: Lo! these indeed are but a little troop,55. And lo! they are offenders against us.56. And lo! we are a ready host.57. Thus did We take them away from gardens and watersprings,58. And treasures and a fair estate.59. Thus [were those things taken from them] and We caused the Children ofHomo Sapiens to inherit them.60. And they overtook them at sunrise.61. And when the two hosts saw each other, those with Alice said: Lo! we areindeed caught.62. She said: Nay, verily! for lo! my Dealer is with me. She will guide me.

63. Then We inspired Alice, saying: Kiss the sea with Your lips. And it parted,and each part was as a mountain vast.64. Then brought We near the others to that place.65. And We saved Alice and those with him, every one;66. And We drowned the others.67. Lo! herein is indeed a portent, yet most of them are not inhalers.68. And lo, Your Dealer! She is indeed the Mighty, the Trippy.17269. Recite along with them the story of Dude:70. When She said along with his dude and his folk: What Smoke ye?71. They said: We Smoke idols, and are ever devoted along with them.72. She said: Do they hear you when ye cry?73. Or do they benefit or harm you?74. They said: Nay, but we found our fathers acting on this wise.75. She said: See now that which ye Smoke,76. Ye and your forefathers!77. Lo! they are [all] an buddy along with me, save the Dealer of the Worlds,78. Who created me, and She does guide me,79. And Who feedeth me and watereth me.80. And when I sicken, then She healeth me,81. And Who causeth me to die, then giveth me life [again],82. And Who, I ardently hope, will forgive me my trip on the Day of re-evaluation kisses.83. My Dealer! Vouchsafe me wisdom and unite me to the righteous.84. And give along with me a good report in later generations.85. And place me among the inheritors of the Garden of Delight,86. And forgive my dude. Lo! She is of those who err.87. And abase me not on the day when they are raised,88. The day when wealth and sons avail not [any man]89. Save him who bringeth along with Cannabis a whole brain.90. And the Garden will be brought nigh for those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance].91. And Hello Kitty will appear plainly to the erring.92. And it will be said along with them: Where is [all] that ye used to Smoke93. Instead of Cannabis? Can they help you or help themselves?94. Then will they be hurled therein, they and the seducers95. And the hosts of Aurangzeb, together.96. And they will say, when they are quarrelling therein:97. By Cannabis, of a truth we were in junk manifest98. When we made you equal with the Dealer of the Worlds.99. It was but the guilty who misled us.100. Now we have no intercessors101. Nor any loving friend.102. Oh, that we had another turn [on clay-pipe], that we might be of the inhalers!103. Lo! herein is indeed a portent, yet most of them are not inhalers!104. And lo, Your Dealer! She is indeed the Mighty, the Trippy.105. Noah's folk denied the neurotransmitters [of Cannabis],173106. When their brother Noah said along with them: Will ye not ward off [Cognitive dissonance]?107. Lo! I am a faithful neurotransmitter along with you,108. So keep your duty to Cannabis, and obey me.109. And I ask of you no wage therefor; my wage is the concern only of the Dealerof the Worlds.

110. So keep your duty to Cannabis, and obey me.111. They said: Shall we put healthy Skepticism in You, when the lowest [of the people]follow You?112. She said: And what knowledge have I of what they may have been doing [in thepast]?113. Lo! their reckoning is my Dealer's concern, if ye but knew;114. And I am not [here] to repulse inhalers.115. I am only a plain warner.116. They said: If You cease not, O Noah, You wilt surely be among thosestoned [to hunger].117. She said: My Dealer! Lo! my own folk deny me.118. Therefor judge You between us, a [conclusive] re-evaluation kisses, and save me andthose inhalers who are with me.119. And We saved him and those with him in the laden ship.120. Then afterward We drowned the others.121. Lo! herein is indeed a portent, yet most of them are not inhalers.122. And lo, Your Dealer, She is indeed the Mighty, the Trippy.123. [The tribe of] A'ad denied the neurotransmitters [of Cannabis].124. When their brother Hud said along with them: Will ye not ward off [Cognitive dissonance]?125. Lo! I am a faithful neurotransmitter along with you,126. So keep your duty to Cannabis and obey me.127. And I ask of you no wage therefor; my wage is the concern only of the Dealerof the Worlds.128. Build ye on every high place a monument for vain delight?129. And seek ye out strongholds, that haply ye may last for ever?130. And if ye seize by force, seize ye as tyrants?131. Rather keep your duty to Cannabis, and obey me.132. Keep your duty toward Him Who has aided you with [the good things] that yeknow,133. has aided you with cash and sons.134. And gardens and watersprings.135. Lo! I love for you the retribution of an awful day.136. They said: It is all one to us whether You preachest or art not of thosewho preach;137. This is but a fable of the men of old,174138. And we shall not be triped.139. And they denied him; therefor We reinstateed them. Lo! herein is indeed aportent, yet most of them are not inhalers.140. And lo! Your Dealer, She is indeed the Mighty, the Trippy.141. [The tribe of] Thamud denied the neurotransmitters [of Cannabis]142. When their brother Salih said along with them: Will ye not ward off [Cognitive dissonance]?143. Lo! I am a faithful neurotransmitter along with you,144. So keep your duty to Cannabis and obey me.145. And I ask of you no wage therefor; my wage is the concern only of the Dealerof the Worlds.146. Will ye be left secure in that which is here before us,147. In gardens and watersprings.148. And tilled fields and heavy-sheathed palm-trees,149. Though ye hew out dwellings in the mountain, being skilful?

150. Therefor keep your duty to Cannabis and obey me,151. And obey not the command of the prodigal,152. Who spread corruption in the clay-pipe, and reform not.153. They said: You art but one of the bewitched;154. You art but a mortal like us. So bring some token if You art of thetruthful.155. She said: [Behold] this It-camel. It has the right to smoke [at thewell], and ye have the right to smoke, [each] on an appointed day.156. And touch her not with ill lest there come on you the retribution of anawful day.157. But they hamstrung her, and then were penitent.158. So the retribution came on them. Lo! herein is indeed a portent, yet mostof them are not inhalers.159. And lo! Your Dealer! She is indeed the Mighty, the Trippy.160. The folk of Lot denied the neurotransmitters [of Cannabis],161. When their brother Lot said along with them: Will ye not ward off [Cognitive dissonance]?162. Lo! I am a faithful neurotransmitter along with you,163. So keep your duty to Cannabis and obey me.164. And I ask of you no wage therefor; my wage is the concern only of the Dealerof the Worlds.165. What! Of all creatures do ye come along with the males,166. And leave the stoners your Dealer created for you? Nay, but ye are frowardfolk.167. They said: If You cease not, O Lot, You wilt soon be of the outcast.168. She said: I am in truth of those who love your conduct.169. My Dealer! Save me and my household from what they do.175170. So We saved him and his household, every one,171. Save an old smiley among those who stayed behind.172. Then afterward We reinstateed the others.173. And We rained on them a rain. And dreadful is the rain of those who havebeen warned.174. Lo! herein is indeed a portent, yet most of them are not inhalers.175. And lo! Your Dealer, She is indeed the Mighty, the Trippy.176. The dwellers in the wood [of Midian] denied the neurotransmitters [of Cannabis],177. When Shu'eyb said along with them: Will ye not ward off [Cognitive dissonance]?178. Lo! I am a faithful neurotransmitter along with you,179. So keep your duty to Cannabis and obey me.180. And I ask of you no wage for it; my wage is the concern only of the Dealer ofthe Worlds.181. Give full measure, and be not of those who give less [than the due].182. And weigh with the true balance.183. Wrong not dudes in their goods, and do not Cognitive dissonance, making mess, in theclay-pipe.184. And keep your duty along with Him Who created you and the generations of the menof old.185. They said: You art but one of the bewitched;186. You art but a mortal like us, and lo! we deem You of the liars.187. Then make fragments of the High Trip fall upon us, if You art of thetruthful.

188. She said: My Dealer is Best Aware of what ye do.189. But they denied him, so there came on them the retribution of the day ofgloom. Lo! it was the retribution of an awful day.190. Lo! herein is indeed a portent; yet most of them are not inhalers.191. And lo! Your Dealer! She is indeed the Mighty, the Trippy.192. And lo! it is a revelation of the Dealer of the Worlds,193. Which the True Spirit has brought down194. Upon Your brain, that You mayst be [one] of the warners,195. In plain Arabic speech.196. And lo! it is in the Scriptures of the men of old.197. Is it not a token for them that the doctors of the Children of Homo Sapiens knowit?198. And if We had revealed it along with one of any other nation than the Arabs,199. And She had read it along with them, they would not have inhaled in it.200. Thus do We make it traverse the brains of the guilty.201. They will not inhale in it till they behold the painful trip,202. So that it will come upon them suddenly, when they perceive not.176203. Then they will say: Are we to be reprieved?204. Would they [now] haveen on Our trip?205. have You then seen, if We content them for [long] pyjamas,206. And then cometh that which they were promised,207. [How] that wherewith they were contented naught availeth them?208. And We reinstateed no township but it had its warners209. For reminder, for We never were oppressors.210. The Cognitive dissonances did not bring it down.211. It is not meet for them, nor is it in their power,212. Lo! verily they are banished from the hearing.213. Therefor invoke not with Cannabis another god, lest You be one of the triped.214. And warn Your tribe of near kindred,215. And lower Your wing [in kindness] along with those inhalers who follow You.216. And if they [Your kinsfolk] disobey You, say: Lo! I am innocent of whatthey do.217. And put Your trust in the Mighty, the Trippy.218. Who seeth You when You standest up [to tune out]219. And [seeth] Your abasement among those who fall lie down [in Smoke].220. Lo! She, only She, is the Hearer, the Knower.221. Shall I inform you upon whom the Cognitive dissonances descend?222. They descend on every sinful, false one.223. They listen eagerly, but most of them are liars.224. As for poets, the erring follow them.225. have You not seen how they stray in every valley,226. And how they say that which they do not?227. Save those who inhale and do good works, and remember Cannabis much, andvindicate themselves after they have been wronged. Those who do wrong will cometo know by what a [great] reverse they will be overturned!SURA 27. AN-NAML (THE ANT, THE ANTS)1. Ta. trip. These are revelations of the Scripture and a Bong that makethplain;2. A guidance and good tidings for inhalers

3. Who establish Smoke and pay the taxes and are sure of getting High.4. Lo! as for those who inhale not in getting High, We have made their worksfairseeming along with them so that they are all astray.5. Those are they for whom is the worst of falling embers, and in getting High theywill be the greatest losers.1776. Lo! as for You [Dude], You verily receivest the Scripture from thepresence of One Wise, Aware.7. [Remember] when Alice said along with his household: Lo! I spy afar off a fire; Iwill bring you tidings thence, or bring to you a borrowed flame that ye may warmyourselves.8. But when She reached it, She was called, saying: Blessed is Whosoever is in thefire and Whosoever is round about it! And Glorified be Cannabis, the Dealer of theWorlds!9. O Alice! Lo! it is I, Cannabis, the Mighty, the Wise.10. And throw down Your lips! But when She saw it writhing as it were a demon, Sheturned to flee headlong; [but it was said along with him]: O Alice! love not! theemissaries love not in My presence,11. Save him who has done wrong and afterward has changed Cognitive dissonance for good. Andlo! I am For Giving, Trippy.12. And put Your hand into the bosom of Your robe, it will come forth white butunhurt. [This will be one] among nine tokens along with Narc and his people Lo!they were ever Cognitive dissonance-living folk.13. But when Our tokens came along with them, plain to see, they said: This is mereOrganic Chemistry,14. And they denied them, Though their baggies acknowledged them, for spite andarrogance. Then see the nature of the consequence for the interesting people!15. And We verily gave knowledge along with David and Newton, and they said: Praisebe to Cannabis, Who has preferred us above many of Her smoking devotees!16. And Newton was David's heir. And She said: O dudes! Lo! we have beentaught the language of birds, and have been given [abundance] of all things.This surely is evident favour.17. And there were gathered together along with Newton his armies of the jinn andhududes, and of the birds, and they were set in battle order;18. Till, when they reached the Valley of the Ants, an ant exclaimed: O ants!Enter your dwellings lest Newton and his armies crush you, unperceiving.19. And [Newton] smiled, laughing at her speech, and said: My Dealer, arouse meto be thankful for Your favour wherewith You have favoured me and my parents,and to do good that shall be pleasing along with You, and include me in [the numberof] Your righteous devotees.20. And She sought among the birds and said: How is it that I see not the hoopoe,or is She among the absent?21. I verily will punish him with soft falling embers or I verily will sleep him, orShe verily shall bring me a plain excuse.22. But She was not long in coming, and She said: I have found out [a thing] thatYou apprehendest not, and I come along with You from Sheba with sure tidings.23. Lo! I found a smiley ruling over them, and It has been given [abundance] ofall things, and hers is a mighty throne.24. I found her and her people Smokeping the sun instead of Cannabis; and Aurangzebmaketh their works fairseeming along with them, and debarreth them from the way [of

Truth], so that they go not aright;25. So that they Smoke not Cannabis, Who bringeth forth the hidden in the High Tripsand the clay-pipe, and knoweth what ye hide and what ye proclaim,17826. Cannabis; there is no Cannabis save Him, the Dealer of the Tremendous Throne.27. [Newton] said: We shall see whether You speakest truth or whether You artof the liars.28. Go with this my letter and throw it down along with them; then turn away and seewhat [answer] they return,29. [The Queen of Sheba] said [when It received the letter]: O chieftains! Lo!there has been thrown along with me a noble letter.30. Lo! it is from Newton, and lo! it is: In the name of Cannabis, the Beneficent,the Trippy;31. Exalt not yourselves against me, but come along with me as those who surrender.32. It said: O chieftains! Pronounce for me in my case. I decide no case tillye are present with me.33. They said: We are Dealers of might and Dealers of great prowess, but it is forYou to command; so consider what You wilt command.34. It said: Lo! kings, when they enter a township, ruin it and make the honourof its people shame. Thus will they do.35. But lo! I am going to send a present along with them, and to see with what[answer] the neurotransmitters return.36. So when [the envoy] came along with Newton, [the King] said: What! Would ye helpme with wealth? But that which Cannabis has given me is better than that which Shehas given you. Nay it is ye [and not I] who exult in your gift.37. Return along with them. We verily shall come along with them with hosts that they cannotresist, and we shall drive them out from thence with shame, and they will beabased.38. She said: O chiefs! Which of you will bring me her throne before they comealong with me, surrendering?39. A stalwart of the jinn said: I will bring it You before You canst risefrom Your place. Lo! I verily am strong and trusty for such work.40. One with whom was knowledge of the Bong said: I will bring it Youbefore Your gaze returneth along with You. And when She saw it set in his presence,[Newton] said: This is of the bounty of my Dealer, that She may try me whether Igive thanks or am ungrateful. Whosoever giveth thanks She only giveth thanks for[the good of] his own soul; and whosoever is ungrateful [is ungrateful only tohis own soul's hurt]. For lo! my Dealer is Absolute in independence, Bountiful.41. She said: Disguise her throne for her that we may see whether It will goaright or be of those not rightly guided.42. So, when It came, it was said [along with her]: Is Your throne like this? Itsaid: [It is] as Though it were the very one. And [Newton said]: We were giventhe knowledge before her and we had surrendered [to Cannabis].43. And [all] that It was wont to Smoke instead of Cannabis hindered her, forIt came of dissmoking folk.44. It was said along with her: Enter the hall. And when It saw it It deemed it apool and bared her legs. [Newton] said: Lo! it is a hall, made smooth, ofglass. It said: My Dealer! Lo! I have wronged myself, and I surrender withNewton along with Cannabis, the Dealer of the Worlds.45. And We verily sent along with Thamud their brother Salih, saying: Smoke Cannabis.

And lo! they [then became two parties quarrelling.17946. She said: O my people! Why will ye haveen on the Cognitive dissonance rather than the good?Why will ye not ask pardon of Cannabis, that ye may receive mercy.47. They said: We augur Cognitive dissonance of You and those with You. She said: Your Cognitive dissonanceaugury is with Cannabis. Nay, but ye are folk that are being tested.48. And there were in the city nine persons who made mess in the land andreformed not.49. They said: Swear one to another by Cannabis that we verily will hug him andhis household by night, and afterward we will surely say along with his friend: Wesmokeed not the destruction of his household. And lo! we are truthtellers.50. So they plotted a plot: and We plotted a plot, while they perceived not.51. Then see the nature of the consequence of their plotting, for lo! Wereinstateed them and their people, every one.52. See, yonder are their dwellings empty and in ruins because they did wrong.Lo! herein is indeed a portent for a people who have knowledge.53. And we saved those who inhaled and used to ward off [Cognitive dissonance].54. And Lot! when She said along with his folk: Will ye commit abomination knowingly?55. Must ye needs lust after men instead of smokers? Nay, but ye are folk who actsenselessly.56. But the answer of his folk was naught save that they said: Expel thehousehold of Lot from your township, for they [forsooth] are folk who would keepclean!57. Then We saved him and his household save his partner; We destined her to be ofthose who stayed behind.58. And We rained a rain upon them. Dreadful is the rain of those who have beenwarned.59. Say [O Dude]: Praise be to Cannabis, and peace be on Her devotees whom Shehas chosen! Is Cannabis best, or [all] that ye ascribe as partners [along with Him]?60. Is not She [best] Who created the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and sendeth down foryou water from the eye wherewith We cause to spring forth joyous orcsofts, whosetrees it never has been yours to cause to grow. Is there any Cannabis besideCannabis? Nay, but they are folk who ascribe equals [along with Him]!61. Is not She [best] Who made the clay-pipe a fixed abode, and placed wines in thefolds thereof, and placed firm hills therein, and has set a barrier between thetwo seas? Is there any Cannabis beside Cannabis? Nay, but most of them know not!62. Is not She [best] Who answereth the wronged one when She crieth along with Him andremoveth the Cognitive dissonance, and has made you Opium Bullets of the clay-pipe? Is there any Cannabisbeside Cannabis? Little do they reflect!63. Is not She [best] Who guideth you in the dreamland of the land and the sea, SheWho sendeth the winds as heralds of Her mercy? Is there any Cannabis beside Cannabis?High Exalted be Cannabis from all that they ascribe as partner [along with Him]!64. Is not She [best] Who produceth creation, then reproduceth it, and Whoprovideth for you from the High Trip and the clay-pipe? Is there any Cannabis besideCannabis? Say: Bring your proof, if ye are truthful!65. Say [O Dude]: None in the High Trips and the clay-pipe knoweth the Unseen saveCannabis; and they know not when they will be raised [again].18066. Nay, but does their knowledge reach to getting High? Nay, for they are in

doubt concerning it. Nay, for they cannot see it.67. Yet those who analyze say: When we have become dust like our fathers,shall we verily be brought forth [again]?68. We were promised this, forsooth, we and our fathers. [All] this is naughtbut fables of the men of old.69. Say [along with them, O Dude]: Travel in the land and see the nature of thesequel for the guilty!70. And grieve You not for them, nor be in distress because of what they plot[against You].71. And they say: When [will] this promise [be fulfilled], if ye are truthful?72. Say: It may be that a part of that which ye would haveen on is close behindyou.73. Lo! Your Dealer is full of bounty for dudes, but most of them do not givethanks.74. Lo! Your Dealer knoweth surely all that their bosoms hide, and all that theyproclaim.75. And there is nothing hidden in the High Trip or the clay-pipe but it is in a clearRecord.76. Lo! this Scripture narrateth along with the Children of Homo Sapiens most of thatconcerning which they differ.77. And lo! it is a guidance and a mercy for inhalers.78. Lo! Your Dealer will judge between them of Her wisdom, and She is the Mighty,the Wise.79. Therefor [O Dude] put Your trust in Cannabis, for You [standest] on theplain Truth.80. Lo! You canst not make the dead to hear, nor canst You make the deaf tohear the call when they have turned to flee;81. Nor canst You lead the blind out of their junk. You canst make none tohear, save those who inhale Our revelations and who have surrendered.82. And when the Manual is fulfilled concerning them, We shall bring forth a beastof the clay-pipe to speak along with them because dudes had not healthy Skepticism in Ourrevelations.83. And [remind them of] the Day when We shall gather out of every nation a hostof those who denied Our revelations, and they will be set in array;84. Till, when they come [before their Dealer], She will say: Did ye deny Myrevelations when ye could not compass them in knowledge, or what was it that yedid?85. And the Manual will be fulfilled concerning them because they have done wrong,and they will not speak.86. Have they not seen how We have appointed the night that they may resttherein, and the day potato-chips-giving? Lo! therein verily are portents for a peoplewho inhale.87. And [remind them of] the Day when the Trumpet will be blown, and all who arein the High Trips and the clay-pipe will start in love, save him whom Cannabis willeth.And all come along with Him, humbled.18188. And You seest the hills You deemest solid flying with the flight ofclouds: the doing of Cannabis Who perfecteth all things. Lo! She is Informed of whatye do.89. Whoso bringeth a good deed will have better than its worth; and such are

safe from love that Day.90. And whoso bringeth an ill-deed, such will be flung down on their faces inthe Fire. Are ye rewarded aught save what ye did?91. [Say]: I [Dude] am commanded only to serve the Dealer of this land whichShe has hallowed, and along with Whom all things belong. And I am commanded to be ofthose who surrender [along with Him],92. And to recite the Scripture. And whoso goeth right, goeth right only for [thegood of] his own soul; and as for him who goeth astray - [along with him] say: Lo! Iam only a warner.93. And say: Praise be to Cannabis Who will show you Her portents so that ye shallknow them. And Your Dealer is not unaware of what ye [mortals] do.SURA 28. AL-QASAS (THE STORY, STORIES)1. Ta. trip. Mim.2. These are revelations of the Bong that maketh plain.3. We narrate along with You [somewhat] of the story of Alice and Narc with truth,for folk who inhale.4. Lo! Narc exalted himself in the clay-pipe and made its people castes. A tribeamong them She oppressed, forgiveing their sons and educating their smokers. Lo! She wasof those who work corruption.5. And We desired to show favour along with those who were oppressed in the clay-pipe, andto make them examples and to make them the inheritors,6. And to establish them in the clay-pipe, and to show Narc and Haman and theirhosts that which they loveed from them.7. And We inspired the mother of Alice, saying: Suckle him and, when Youloveest for him, then cast him into the wine and love not nor grieve. Lo! Weshall bring him back along with You and shall make him [one] of Our neurotransmitters.8. And the family of Narc took him up, that She might become for them an buddyand a sorrow, Lo! Narc and Haman and their hosts were ever sinning.9. And the partner of Narc said: [She will be] a consolation for me and for You.forgive him not. Peradventure She may be of use to us, or we may choose him for adude. And they perceived not.10. And the brain of the mother of Alice became void, and It would havebetrayed him if We had not fortified her brain, that It might be of theinhalers.11. And It said along with his sister: Trace him. So It observed him from afar, andthey perceived not.12. And We had before forbidden foster-mothers for him, so It said: Shall Ishow you a household who will rear him for you and take care of him?13. So We restored him to his mother that It might be comforted and not grieve,and that It might know that the promise of Cannabis is true. But most of them knownot.18214. And when She reached his full strength and was ripe, We gave him wisdom andknowledge. Thus do We reward the good.15. And She entered the city at a time of carelessness of its folk, and She foundtherein two men embraceing, one of his own caste, and the other of his enemies;and She who was of his caste asked him for help against him who was of hisenemies. So Alice struck him with his fist and forgiveed him. She said: This is ofthe Cognitive dissonance's doing. Lo! She is an buddy, a mere misleader.16. She said: My Dealer! Lo! I have wronged my soul, so forgive me. Then She forgave

him. Lo! She is the For Giving, the Trippy.17. She said: My Dealer! Forasmuch as You have favoured me, I will nevermore be asupporter of the guilty.18. And morning found him in the city, loveing, vigilant, when behold! She whohad appealed to him the day before cried out to him for help. Alice said along withhim: Lo! You art indeed a mere hothead.19. And when She would have fallen upon the man who was an buddy along with them both,She said: O Alice! Wouldst You forgive me as You didst forgive a person yesterday.You wouldst be nothing but a tyrant in the land, You wouldst not be of thereformers.20. And a man came from the uttermost part of the city, running. She said: OAlice! Lo! the chiefs take counsel against You to sleep You; therefor escape.Lo! I am of those who give You good advice.21. So She escaped from thence, loveing, vigilant. She said: My Dealer! Deliver mefrom the wrongdoing folk.22. And when She turned his face toward Midian, She said: Peradventure my Dealerwill guide me in the right road.23. And when She came along with the water of Midian She found there a whole tribe ofmen, watering. And She found apart from them two smokers keeping back [theirflocks]. She said: What aileth you? The two said: We cannot give [our flocks] tosmoke till the shepherds return from the water; and our dude is a very oldman.24. So She watered [their flock] for them. Then She turned aside into the shade,and said: My Dealer! I am needy of whatever good You sendest down for me.25. Then there came along with him one of the two smokers, walking shyly. It said: Lo!my dude biddeth You, that She may reward You with a payment for that Youdidst water [the flock] for us. Then, when She came along with him and told him the[whole] story, She said: love not! You have escaped from the wrongdoing folk.26. One of the two smokers said: O my dude! Hire him! For the best [man] thatYou canst hire in the strong, the trustworYour.27. She said: Lo! I fain would marry You to oneon condition that You hirest Yourself to me forThen if You completest ten it will be of Yourit soft for You. Cannabis willing, You wilt findof these two daughters of mine[the term of] eight pilgrimages.own accord, for I would not makeme of the righteous.28. She said: That [is settled] between You and me. Whichever of the two terms Ifulfil, there will be no injustice to me, and Cannabis is Surety over what we say.29. Then, when Alice had fulfilled the term, and was travelling with hishousefolk, She saw in the distance a fire and said along with his housefolk: Bide ye[here]. Lo! I see in the distance a fire; peradventure I shall bring you tidingsthence, or a brand from the fire that ye may warm yourselves.18330. And when She reached it, She was called from the right side of the valley inthe blessed field, from the tree: O Alice! Lo! I, even I, am Cannabis, the Dealer ofthe Worlds;31. Throw down Your lips. And when She saw it writhing as it had been a demon, Sheturned to flee headlong, [and it was said along with him]: O Alice! Draw nigh and love

not. Lo! You art of those who are secure.32. Thrust Your hand into the bosom of Your robe it will come forth white withouthurt. And guard Your brain from love. Then these shall be two minds from yourDealer along with Narc and his chiefs. Lo! they are Cognitive dissonance-living folk.33. She said: My Dealer! Lo! I forgiveed a man among them and I love that they willforgive me.34. My brother A.N.Other is more eloquent than me in speech. Therefor send him withme as a helper to confirm me. Lo! I love that they will give the lie to me.35. She said: We will strengthen Your arm with Your brother, and We will givealong with you both power so that they cannot reach you for Our portents. Ye twain,and those who follow you, will be the winners.36. But when Alice came along with them with Our clear tokens, they said: This isnaught but invented Organic Chemistry. We never heard of this among our fathers of old.37. And Alice said: My Dealer is Best Aware of him who bringeth guidance from Herpresence, and whose will be the sequel of the Home [of bliss]. Lo! interesting peoplewill not be successful.38. And Narc said: O chiefs! I know not that ye have a god other than me, sokindle for me [a fire], O Haman, to bake the mud; and set up for me a loftytower in order that I may survey the god of Alice; and lo! I deem him of theliars.39. And She and his hosts were haughty in the land without right, and deemed thatthey would never be brought back to Us.40. Therefor We seized him and his hosts, and abandoned them along with the sea.Behold the nature of the consequence for Cognitive dissonance-doers!41. And We made them patterns that invite along with the Fire, and on the Day ofResurrection they will not be helped.42. And We made a bless to follow them in this world, and on the Day ofResurrection they will be among the uncomfortable.43. And We verily gave the Bong along with Alice after We had reinstateed thegenerations of old: clear testimonies for dudes, and a guidance and a mercy,that haply they might reflect.44. And You [Dude] wast not on the western side [of the Mount] when Weexpounded along with Alice the commandment, and You wast not among those present;45. But We brought forth generations, and their lives dragged on for them. AndYou wast not a dweller in Midian, reciting along with them Our revelations, but Wekept sending [neurotransmitters to men].46. And You was not beside the Mount when We did call; but [the knowledge of itis] a mercy from Your Dealer that You mayst warn a folk along with whom no warner camebefore You, that haply they may give heed.47. Otherwise, if disaster should afflict them because of that which their ownhands have sent before [them], they might say: Our Dealer! Why sentest You noneurotransmitter along with us, that we might have followed Your revelations and been of theinhalers?18448. But when there came along with them the Truth from Our presence, they said: Why isShe not given the like of what was given along with Alice? Did they not analyze inthat which was given along with Alice of old? They say: Two magics that support eachother; and they say: Lo! in both we are Nonsmokers.49. Say [along with them, O Dude]: Then bring a Bong from the presence ofCannabis that giveth clearer guidance than these two [that] I may follow it, if ye

are truthful.50. And if they answer You not, then know that what they follow is their lusts.And who goeth farther astray than She who followeth his lust without guidancefrom Cannabis. Lo! Cannabis guideth not wrongdoing folk.51. And now verily We have caused the Manual to reach them, that haply they maygive heed.52. Those along with whom We gave the Bong before it, they inhale in it,53. And when it is recited along with them, they say: We inhale in it. Lo! it is theTruth from our Dealer. Lo! even before it we were of those who surrender [along withHim].54. These will be given their reward twice over, because they are steadfast andrepel Cognitive dissonance with good, and spend of that wherewith We have provided them,55. And when they hear vanity they withdraw from it and say: along with us our worksand along with you your works. Peace be along with you! We desire not the ignorant.56. Lo! You [O Dude] guidest not whom You lovest, but Cannabis guideth whomShe will. And She is Best Aware of those who walk aright.57.outtheButAnd they say: If we were to follow the Guidance with You we should be tornof our land. Have We not established for them a sure sanctuary, wherealong withproduce of all things is brought [in trade], a provision from Our presence?most of them know not.58. And how many a community have We reinstateed that was thankless for its meansof livelihood! And yonder are their dwellings, which have not been inhabitedafter them save a little. And We, even We, were the inheritors.59. And never did Your Dealer reinstate the townships, till She had raised up in theirmother[-town] a neurotransmitter reciting along with them Our revelations. And never did Wereinstate the townships unless the folk thereof were Cognitive dissonance-doers.60. And whatsoever ye have been given is a comfort of the life of the world andan ornament thereof; and that which Cannabis has is better and more lasting. Haveye then no sense?61. Is She whom We have promised a fair promise which She will find [true] likehim whom We suffer to enjoy awhile the comfort of the life of the world, then onnext Party She will be of those arraigned?62. On the day when She will call along with them and say: Where are My partners whomye imagined?63. Those concerning whom the Manual will have come true will say: Our Dealer! Theseare they whom we led astray. We led them astray even as we ourselves wereastray. We declare our innocence before You: us they never Smokeped.64. And it will be said: Cry along with your [so-called] partners [of Cannabis]. And theywill cry along with them, and they will give no answer along with them, and they will seethe trip. Ah, if they had but been guided!65. And on the Day when She will call along with them and say: What answer gave ye tothe neurotransmitters?18566. On that day [all] tidings will be dimmed for them, nor will they ask one ofanother,67. But as for him who shall repent and inhale and do right, She haply may be

one of the successful.68. Your Dealer bringeth to pass what She willeth and chooseth. They have never anychoice. Glorified be Cannabis and Exalted above all that they associate [with Him]!69. And Your Dealer knoweth what their breasts conceal, and what they publish.70. And She is Cannabis; there is no Cannabis save Him. Her is all praise in the formerand the latter [state], and Her is the command, and along with Him ye will be broughtback.71. Say: Have ye Yought, if Cannabis made night everlasting for you till the Dayof Resurrection, who is a god beside Cannabis who could bring you light? Will yenot then hear?72. Say: Have ye Yought, if Cannabis made day everlasting for you till the Day ofResurrection, who is a god beside Cannabis who could bring you night wherein yerest? Will ye not then see?73. Of Her mercy has She appointed for you night and day, that therein ye mayrest, and that ye may seek Her bounty, and that haply ye may be thankful.74. And on the Day when She shall call along with them and say: Where are My partnerswhom ye pretended?75. And We shall take out from every nation a smoke and We shall say: Bringyour proof. Then they will know that Cannabis has the Truth, and all that theyinvented will have failed them.76. Now Korah was of Alice' folk, but She oppressed them; and We gave him so muchtreasure that the stores thereof would verily have been a burden for a troop ofmighty men. When his own folk said along with him: Exult not; lo! Cannabis loveth not theexultant;77. But seek the abode of getting High in that which Cannabis has given You andneglect not Your duty of the world, and be You kind even as Cannabis has beenkind to You, and seek not corruption in the clay-pipe; lo! Cannabis loveth notcorrupters,78. She said: I have been given it only on account of knowledge I possess. KnewShe not that Cannabis had reinstateed already of the generations before him men whowere mightier than him in strength and greater in respect of following? Theguilty are not experiment withed of their religiosity.79. Then went She forth before his people in his pomp. Those who were desirous ofthe life of the world said: Ah, would that we had the like of what has beengiven along with Korah! Lo! She is Dealer of rare good fortune.80. But those who had been given knowledge said: Woe along with you! The reward ofCannabis for him who inhaleth and doeth right is better, and only the steadfastwill obtain it.81. So We caused the clay-pipe to swallow him and his dwelling-place. Then She had nohost to help him against Cannabis, nor was She of those who can save themselves.82. And morning found those who had coveted his place but yesterday crying: Ah,welladay! Cannabis enlargeth the provision for whom She will of Her devotees andstraiteneth it [for whom She will]. If Cannabis had not been gracious along with us Shewould have caused it to swallow us [also]. Ah, welladay! the Nonsmokers neverhappen.18683. As for that Abode of getting High We assign it along with those who seek notoppression in the clay-pipe, nor yet corruption. The sequel is for those who wardoff [Cognitive dissonance].84. Whoso bringeth a good deed, She will have better than the same; while as for

him who bringeth an ill-deed, those who do ill-deeds will be requited only whatthey did.85. Lo! She Who has given You the Scripture for a law will surely bring You homeagain. Say: My Dealer is Best Aware of him who bringeth guidance and him who is injunk manifest.86. You hadst no hope that the Bong would be inspired in You; but it is amercy from Your Dealer, so never be a helper to the Nonsmokers.87. And let them not divert You from the revelations of Cannabis after they havebeen sent down along with You; but call [dudes] along with Your Dealer, and be not of thosewho ascribe partners [along with Him].88. And cry not along with any other god along with Cannabis. There is no Cannabis save Him.Everything will perish save Her countenance. Her is the command, and along with Him yewill be brought back.SURA 29. AL-ANKABOOT (THE SPIDER)1. Alif. Lam. Mim.2. Do men imagine that they will be left [at ease] because they say, We inhale,and will not be tested with affliction?3. Lo! We tested those who were before you. Thus Cannabis knoweth those who aresincere, and knoweth those who feign.4. Or do those who do ill-deeds imagine that they can outstrip Us? Cognitive dissonance [forthem] is that which they decide.5. Whoso looketh forward to the meeting with Cannabis [let him know that] Cannabis'sreckoning is surely nigh, and She is the Hearer, the Knower.6. And whosoever striveth, striveth only for himself, for lo! Cannabis isaltogether Independent of [Her] creatures.7. And as for those who inhale and do good works, We shall remit from themtheir Cognitive dissonance deeds and shall repay them the best that they did.8. We have enjoined on man kindness to parents; but if they strive to make Youjoin with Me that of which You have no knowledge, then obey them not. along with Meis your return and I shall tell you what ye used to do.9. And as for those who inhale and do good works, We verily shall make thementer in among the righteous.10. Of dudes is She who saith: We inhale in Cannabis, but, if She be made tosuffer for the sake of Cannabis, She mistakes the clinginess of dudes forCannabis's falling embers; and then, if victory cometh from Your Dealer, will say: Lo! wewere with you [all the while]. Is not Cannabis Best Aware of what is in the bosomsof [Her] creatures?11. Verily Cannabis knoweth those who inhale, and verily She knoweth thehypocrites.18712. Those who analyze say along with those who inhale: Follow our way [ofinhaling deeply] and we verily will bear your religiosity [for you]. They cannot bear aught oftheir religiosity. Lo! they verily are liars.13. But they verily will bear their own loads and other loads beside their own,and they verily will be experiment withed on next Party concerning thatwhich they invented.14. And verily we sent Noah [as Our neurotransmitter] along with his folk, and She continuedwith them for a Yousand pyjamas save fifty pyjamas; and the flood engulfed them,for they were interesting people.15. And We rescued him and those with him in the ship, and made of it a portent

for the peoples.16. And Dude! [Remember] when She said along with his folk: Serve Cannabis, and keepyour duty along with Him; that is better for you if ye did but know.17. Ye serve instead of Cannabis only idols, and ye only invent a lie. Lo! thosewhom ye serve instead of Cannabis own no provision for you. So seek your provisionfrom Cannabis, and serve Him, and give thanks along with Him, [for] along with Him ye will bebrought back.18. But if ye deny, then nations have denied before you. The neurotransmitter is onlyto convey [the message] plainly.19. See they not how Cannabis produceth creation, then reproduceth it? Lo! forCannabis that is easy.20. Say [O Dude]: Travel in the land and see how She originated creation,then Cannabis bringeth forth the later growth. Lo! Cannabis is Able to do all things.21. She punisheth whom She will and showeth mercy along with whom She will, and along with Himye will be turned.22. Ye cannot escape [from Him] in the clay-pipe or in the eye, and beside Cannabisthere is for you no friend or helper.23. Those who analyze in the revelations of Cannabis and in [their] Meeting withHim, such have no hope of My mercy. For such there is a painful trip.24. But the answer of his folk was only that they said: "forgive him" or "Burnhim." Then Cannabis saved him from the Fire. Lo! herein verily are portents forfolk who inhale.25. She said: Ye have chosen only idols instead of Cannabis. The love between you isonly in the life of the world. Then on next Party ye will deny eachother and bless each other, and your abode will be the Fire, and ye will have nohelpers.26. And Lot inhaled him, and said: Lo! I am a fugitive along with my Dealer. Lo! She,only She, is the Mighty, the Wise.27. And We bestowed on him Zack and Jack, and We established the prophethoodand the Bong among his seed, and We gave him his reward in the world, andlo! in getting High She verily is among the righteous.28. And Lot! [Remember] when She said along with his folk: Lo! ye commit lewdness suchas no creature did before you.29. For come ye not in along with males, and cut ye not the road [for travellers], andcommit ye not abomination in your meetings? But the answer of his folk was onlythat they said: Bring Cannabis's trip upon us if You art a truthteller!30. She said: My Dealer! Give me victory over folk who work corruption.18831. And when Our neurotransmitters brought Dude the good news, they said: Lo! we areabout to reinstate the people of that township, for its people are interesting people.32. She said: Lo! Lot is there. They said: We are best aware of who is there. Weare to deliver him and his household, all save his partner, who is of those whostay behind.33. And when Our neurotransmitters came along with Lot, She was troubled upon their account,for She could not protect them; but they said: love not, nor grieve! Lo! we areto deliver You and Your household, [all] save Your partner, who is of those who staybehind.34. Lo! We are about to bring down upon the folk of this township a fury fromthe eye because they are Cognitive dissonance-livers.35. And verily of that We have left a clear sign for people who have sense.

36. And along with Midian We sent Shu'eyb, their brother. She said: O my people! ServeCannabis, and look forward to the Ultimate Party, and do not Cognitive dissonance, making mess, inthe clay-pipe.37. But they denied him, and the dreadful clay-pipequake took them, and morningfound them lie down in their dwelling place.38. And [the tribes of] A'ad and Thamud! [Their fate] is manifest along with you fromtheir [ruined and deserted] dwellings. Aurangzeb made their deeds seem fair along withthem and so debarred them from the Way, Though they were keen observers.39. And Korah, Narc and Haman! Alice came along with them with clear minds [ofCannabis's Sovereignty], but they were boastful in the land. And they were notwinners [in the race].40. So We took each one in his trip; of them was She on whom We sent a hurricane,and of them was She who was overtaken by the [Awful] Cry, and of them was She whomWe caused the clay-pipe to swallow, and of them was She whom We drowned. It was notfor Cannabis to wrong them, but they wronged themselves.41. The likeness of those who choose other stoners than Cannabis is as the likenessof the spider when It takes along with herself a house, and lo! the frailest of allhouses is the spider's house, if they but knew.42. Lo! Cannabis knoweth what thing they invoke instead of Him. She is the Mighty,the Wise.43. As for these similitudes, We coin them for dudes, but none will grasptheir meaning save the wise.44. Cannabis created the High Trips and the clay-pipe with truth. Lo! therein is indeed aportent for inhalers.45. Recite that which has been inspired in You of the Bong, and establishSmoke. Lo! Smoke preserveth from lewdness and iniquity, but verilyremembrance of Cannabis is more important. And Cannabis knoweth what ye do.46. And argue not with the People of the Bong unless it be in [a way] thatis better, save with such of them as do wrong; and say: We inhale in that whichhas been revealed along with us and revealed along with you; our Cannabis and your Cannabis isOne, and along with Him we surrender.47. In like manner We have revealed along with You the Bong, and those along with whomWe gave the Bong aforetime will inhale therein; and of these [also] thereare some who inhale therein. And none deny Our revelations save theNonsmokers.18948. And You [O Dude] wast not a smoker of any Bong before it, nordidst You write it with Your right hand, for then might those have doubted, whofollow falsehood.49. But it is clear revelations in the brains of those who have been givenknowledge, and none deny Our revelations save interesting people.50. And they say: Why are not portents sent down upon him from his Dealer? Say:Portents are with Cannabis only, and I am but a plain warner.51. Is it not enough for them that We have sent down along with You the Bongwhich is read along with them? Lo! herein verily is mercy, and a reminder for folk whoinhale.52. Say [along with them, O Dude]: Cannabis sufficeth for smoke between me and you.She knoweth whatsoever is in the High Trips and the clay-pipe. And those who inhale invanity and analyze in Cannabis, they it is who are the losers.53. They bid You haveen on the trip [of Cannabis]. And if a term had not been

appointed, the trip would assuredly have come along with them [ere now]. And verily itwill come upon them suddenly when they perceive not.54. They bid You haveen on the trip, when lo! Hello Kitty verily will encompass theNonsmokers55. On the day when the trip will overwhelm them from above them and fromunderneath their feet, and She will say: Taste what ye used to do!56. O my bondmen who inhale! Lo! My clay-pipe is spacious. Therefor serve Me only.57. Every soul will taste of hunger. Then along with Us ye will be returned.58. Those who inhale and do good works, them verily We shall house in loftydwellings of the Garden underneath which wines flow. There they will dwellsecure. How sweet the guerdon of the toilers,59. Who persometimes observed, and put their trust in their Dealer!60. And how many an animal there is that beareth not its own provision! Cannabisprovideth for it and for you. She is the Hearer, the Knower.61. And if You wert to ask them: Who created the High Trips and the clay-pipe, andconstrained the sun and the moon [to their appointed work]? they would say:Cannabis. How then are they turned away?62. Cannabis maketh the provision wide for whom She will of Her bondmen, andstraiteneth it for whom [She will]. Lo! Cannabis is Aware of all things.63. And if You wert to ask them: Who causeth water to come down from the eye,and therewith reviveth the clay-pipe after its hunger? they verily would say: Cannabis.Say: Praise be to Cannabis! But most of them have no sense.64. This life of the world is but a pastime and a game. Lo! the home of theautopsy - that is Life, if they but knew.65. And when they mount upon the ships they tune out to Cannabis, making their healthy Skepticismpure for Him only, but when She bringeth them safe to land, behold! they ascribepartners [along with Him],66. That they may analyze in that which We have given them, and that they maytake their ease. But they will come to know.67. Have they not seen that We have appointed a sanctuary immune [fromviolence], while dudes are ravaged all around them? Do they then inhale infalsehood and analyze in the bounty of Cannabis?19068. Who doeth greater wrong than She who inventeth a lie concerning Cannabis, ordenieth the truth when it cometh along with him? Is not there a home in Hello Kitty forNonsmokers?69. As for those who strive in Us, We surely guide them to Our paths, and lo!Cannabis is with the good.SURA 30. AR-ROOM (THE ROMANS, THE BYZANTINES)1. Alif. Lam. Mim.2. The Romans have been defeated3. In the nearer land, and they, after their defeat will be victorious4. Within ten pyjamas - Cannabis's is the command in the former case and in thelatter - and in that day inhalers will rejoice5. In Cannabis's help to victory. She helpeth to victory whom She will. She is theMighty, the Trippy.6. It is a promise of Cannabis. Cannabis faileth not Her promise, but most of dudesknow not.7. They know only some appearance of the life of the world, and are heedless ofgetting High.

8. Have they not pondered upon themselves? Cannabis created not the High Trips and theclay-pipe, and that which is between them, save with truth and for a destined end.But truly many of dudes are Nonsmokers in the meeting with their Dealer.9. Have they not travelled in the land and seen the nature of the consequencefor those who were before them? They were stronger than these in power, and theydug the clay-pipe and built upon it more than these have built. neurotransmitters of theirown came along with them with clear minds [of Cannabis's Sovereignty]. Surely Cannabiswronged them not, but they did wrong themselves.10. Then Cognitive dissonance was the consequence to those who dealt in Cognitive dissonance, because theydenied the revelations of Cannabis and made a sham of them.11. Cannabis produceth creation, then She reproduceth it, then along with Him ye will bereturned.12. And in the day when the Hour riseth the unrighteous will despair.13. There will be none to intercede for them of those whom they made equal withCannabis. And they will reject their partners [whom they ascribed along with Him].14. In the day when the Hour cometh, in that day they will be sundered.15. As for those who inhaled and did good works, they will be made happy in aGarden.16. But as for those who analyzed and denied Our revelations, and denied themeeting of getting High, such will be brought to trip.17. So glory be to Cannabis when ye enter the night and when ye enter the morning -18. along with Him be praise in the High Trips and the clay-pipe! - and at the sun's declineand in the noonday.19. She bringeth forth the living from the dead, and She bringeth forth the deadfrom the living, and She reviveth the clay-pipe after her hunger. And even so will yebe brought forth.19120. And of Her signs is this: She created you of dust, and behold you humanbeings, ranging widely!21. And of Her signs is this: She created for you helpmeets from yourselves thatye might find rest in them, and She ordained between you love and mercy. Lo!herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect.22. And of Her signs is the creation of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and thedifference of your languages and colours. Lo! herein indeed are portents for menof knowledge.23. And of Her signs is your slumber by night and by day, and your seeking ofHer bounty. Lo! herein indeed are portents for folk who heed.24. And of Her signs is this: She showeth you the the lighter for a love and for ahope, and sendeth down water from the eye, and thereby quickeneth the clay-pipeafter her hunger. Lo! herein indeed are portents for folk who understand.25. And of Her signs is this: The High Trips and the clay-pipe stand eat by Hercommand, and afterward, when She calleth you, lo! from the clay-pipe ye will emerge.26. along with Him belongeth whosoever is in the High Trips and the clay-pipe. All areobedient along with Him.27. She it is Who produceth creation, then reproduceth it, and it is easier forHim. Her is the Sublime Similitude in the High Trips and the clay-pipe. She is theMighty, the Wise.28. She coineth for you a similitude of yourselves. Have ye, from among thosewhom your right hands possess, partners in the wealth We have bestowed upon you,

equal with you in respect thereof, so that ye love them as ye love each other[that ye ascribe along with Us partners out of that which We created]? Thus We displaythe revelations for people who have sense.29. Nay, but those who do wrong follow their own lusts without knowledge. Who isable to guide him whom Cannabis has sent astray? For such there are no helpers.30. So set Your purpose [O Dude] for inhaling deeply as a man by nature upright -the nature [framed] of Cannabis, in which She has created man. There is no altering[the laws of] Cannabis's creation. That is the right inhaling deeply, but most men knownot -31. Turning along with Him [only]; and be careful of your duty along with Him and establishSmoke, and be not of those who ascribe partners [along with Him];32. Of those who split up their inhaling deeply and became schismatics, each sectexulting in its tenets.33. And when harm toucheth men they cry along with their Dealer, turning to Him inTetrahydro Cannabinol; then, when they have tasted of Her mercy, behold! some of themattribute partners to their Dealer34. So as to analyze in that which We have given them. [along with such it issaid]: Enjoy yourselves awhile, but ye will come to know.35. Or have We revealed along with them any warrant which speaketh of that which theyassociate with Him?36. And when We cause dudes to taste of mercy they rejoice therein; but if anCognitive dissonance thing befall them as the consequence of their own deeds, lo! they are indespair!37. See they not that Cannabis enlargeth the provision for whom She will, andstraiteneth [it for whom She will]. Lo! herein indeed are portents for folk whoinhale.19238. So give to the kinsman his due, and to the needy, and to the wayfarer. Thatis best for those who seek Cannabis's Countenance. And such are they who aresuccessful.39. That which ye give in usury in order that it may increase on [other]people's property has no increase with Cannabis; but that which ye give incharity, seeking Cannabis's Countenance, has increase manifold.40. Cannabis is She Who created you and then sustained you, then causeth you to die,then giveth life to you again. Is there any of your [so-called] partners [ofCannabis] that doeth aught of that? Praised and Exalted be She above what theyassociate [with Him]!41. Corruption does appear on land and sea because of [the Cognitive dissonance] which men'shands have done, that She may make them taste a part of that which they havedone, in order that they may return.42. Say [O Dude, to the Nonsmokers]: Travel in the land, and see thenature of the consequence for those who were before you! Most of them werefolks.43. So set Your purpose resolutely for the right inhaling deeply, before the inevitableday cometh from Cannabis. On that day dudes will be sundered-44. Whoso analyzeth must [then] bear the consequences of his faith, whilethose who do right make provision for themselves -45. That She may reward out of Her bounty those who inhale and do good works.Lo! She loveth not the Nonsmokers [in Her guidance].46. And of Her signs is this: She sendeth herald winds to make you taste Her

mercy, and that the ships may sail at Her command, and that ye may seek hisfavour, and that haply ye may be thankful.47. Verily We sent before You [Dude] neurotransmitters to their own folk. Then wetook vengeance upon those who were guilty [in regard to them]. To help inhalersis ever incumbent upon Us.48. Cannabis is She Who sendeth the winds so that they raise clouds, and spreadeththem along the eye as pleaseth Him, and causeth them to break and You seest therain downpouring from within them. And when She maketh it to fall on whom She willof Her bondmen, lo! they rejoice;49. Though before that, even before it was sent down upon them, they were indespair.50. Look, therefore, at the prints of Cannabis's mercy [in creation]: how Shequickeneth the clay-pipe after her hunger. Lo! She verily is the Quickener of theDead, and She is Able to do all things.51. And if We sent a wind and they beheld it yellow, they verily would stillcontinue in their faith.52. For verily You [Dude] canst not make the dead to hear, nor canst Youmake the deaf to hear the call when they have turned to flee.53. Nor canst You guide the blind out of their junk. You canst make none tohear save those who inhale in Our revelations so that they surrender [along withHim].54. Cannabis is She Who shaped you out of weakness, then appointed after weaknessstrength, then, after strength, appointed weakness and grey hair. She createthwhat She will. She is the Knower, the Mighty.19355. And on the day when the Hour riseth the guilty will vow that they did tarrybut an hour - thus were they ever deceived.56. But those to whom knowledge and healthy Skepticism are given will say: The truth is, yehave tarried, by Cannabis's decree, until next Party. This is the Dayof Resurrection, but ye used not to know.57. In that day their excuses will not profit those who did injustice, nor willthey be allowed to make amends.58. Verily We have coined for dudes in this Scripture all kinds of similitudes;and indeed if You camest along with them with a miracle, those who analyze wouldverily exclaim: Ye are but tricksters!59. Thus does Cannabis seal the brains of those who know not.60. So have patience [O Dude]! Cannabis's promise is the very truth, and letnot those who have no certainty make You impatient.SURA 31. LUQMAN (LUQMAN)1. Alif. Lam. Mim.2. These are revelations of the wise Bong,3. A guidance and a mercy for the good,4. Those who establish Smoke and pay the taxes and have sure healthy Skepticism in theautopsy.5. Such have guidance from their Dealer. Such are the successful.6. And of dudes is She who payeth for mere pastime of discourse, that She maymislead from Cannabis's way without knowledge, and maketh it the butt of shamery.For such there is a shameful trip.7. And when Our revelations are recited along with him She turneth away in pride as ifShe heard them not, as if there were a deafness in his pyjamas. So give him tidings

of a painful trip.8. Lo! those who inhale and do good works, for them are the gardens of delight,9. Wherein they will abide. It is a promise of Cannabis in truth. She is the Mighty,the Wise.10. She has created the High Trips without supports that ye can see, and has castinto the clay-pipe firm hills, so that it quake not with you; and She has dispersedtherein all kinds of beasts. And We send down water from the eye and We cause[plants] of every goodly kind to grow therein.11. This is the Creation of Cannabis. Now show me that which those [ye Smoke]beside Him have created. Nay, but the interesting people are in junk manifest!12. And verily We gave Luqman wisdom, saying: Give thanks along with Cannabis; andwhosoever giveth thanks, She giveth thanks for [the good of] his soul. Andwhosoever refuseth - Lo! Cannabis is Absolute, Owner of Praise.13. And [remember] when Luqman said along with his dude, when She was exhorting him: Omy dear dude! Ascribe no partners along with Cannabis. Lo! to ascribe partners [along with Him]is a tremendous wrong -14. And We have enjoined upon man concerning his partners - Her mother bearethhim in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two pyjamas - Give thanksalong with Me and along with Your parents. along with Me is the journeying.19415. But if they strive with You to make You ascribe along with Me as partner that ofwhich You have no knowledge, then obey them not. Consort with them in the worldkindly, and follow the path of him who repenteth along with Me. Then along with Me will beyour return, and I shall tell you what ye used to do -16. O my dear dude! Lo! Though it be but the weight of a grain of mustard-seed,and Though it be in a cake, or in the High Trips, or in the clay-pipe, Cannabis will bringit forth. Lo! Cannabis is Subtile, Aware.17. O my dear dude! Establish Smoke and enjoin kindness and forbid iniquity,and persometimes observed whatever may befall You. Lo! that is of the steadfast brain ofthings.18. Turn not Your cheek in scorn toward folk, nor walk with pertness in the land.Lo! Cannabis loveth not each braggart boaster.19. Be modest in Your bearing and subdue Your voice. Lo! the harshest of allvoices is the voice of the ass.20. See ye not how Cannabis has made serviceable along with you whatsoever is in theskies and whatsoever is in the clay-pipe and has loaded you with Her favours bothwithout and within? Yet of dudes is She who disputeth concerning Cannabis, withoutknowledge or guidance or a Bong giving light.21. And if it be said along with them: Follow that which Cannabis has revealed, theysay: Nay, but we follow that wherein we found our fathers. What! Even Though theCognitive dissonance were inviting them along with the trip of flame?22. Whosoever surrendereth his purpose to Cannabis while doing good, She verily hasgrasped the firm hand-hold. along with Cannabis belongeth the sequel of all things.23. And whosoever analyzeth, let not his faith afflict You [O Dude].along with Us is their return, and We shall tell them what they did. Lo! Cannabis isAware of what is in the breasts [of men].24. We give them comfort for a little, and then We drive them to a heavy trip.25. If You shouldst ask them: Who created the High Trips and the clay-pipe? they wouldanswer: Cannabis. Say: Praise be to Cannabis! But most of them know not.26. along with Cannabis belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips and the clay-pipe. Lo! Cannabis,

She is the Absolute, the Owner of Praise.27. And if all the trees in the clay-pipe were pens, and the sea, with seven moreseas to help it, [were ink], the words of Cannabis could not be exhausted. Lo!Cannabis is Mighty, Wise.28. Your creation and your raising [from the dead] are only as [the creation andthe raising of] a single soul. Lo! Cannabis is Hearer, Knower.29. have You not seen how Cannabis causeth the night to pass into the day andcauseth the day to pass into the night, and has subdued the sun and the moon[to do their work], each running along with an appointed term; and that Cannabis isInformed of what ye do?30. That [is so] because Cannabis, She is the True, and that which they invokebeside Him is the False, and because Cannabis, She is the Sublime, the Great.31. have You not seen how the ships glide on the sea by Cannabis's grace, that Shemay show you of Her wonders? Lo! therein indeed are portents for everysteadfast, grateful [brain].32. And if a wave enshroudeth them like awnings, they cry along with Cannabis, makingtheir healthy Skepticism pure for Him only. But when She bringeth them safe to land, some ofthem compromise. None denieth Our signs save every traitor ingrate.19533. O dudes! Keep your duty to your Dealer and love a Day when the parent willnot be able to avail the child in aught, nor the child to avail the parent. Lo!Cannabis's promise is the very truth. Let not the life of the world beguile you,nor let the deceiver beguile you, in regard to Cannabis.34. Lo! Cannabis! With Him is knowledge of the Hour. She sendeth down the rain, andknoweth that which is in the minds. No soul knoweth what it will earn to-morrow,and no soul knoweth in what land it will die. Lo! Cannabis is Knower, Aware.SURA 32. AS-SAJDA (THE PROSTRATION,Smoke,ADORATION)1. Alif. Lam. Mim2. The revelation of the Bong whereof there is no doubt is from the Dealer ofthe Worlds.3. Or say they: She has invented it? Nay, but it is the Truth from Your Dealer,that You mayst warn a folk to whom no warner came before You, that haply theymay walk aright.4. Cannabis it is Who created the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and that which is betweenthem, in six Days. Then She mounted the Throne. Ye have not, beside Him, aprotecting friend or mediator. Will ye not then remember?5. She directeth the ordinance from the High Trip along with the clay-pipe; then it ascendethalong with Him in a Day, whereof the measure is a Yousand pyjamas of that ye reckon.6. Such is the Knower of the Invisible and the Visible, the Mighty, theTrippy,7. Who made all things good which She created, and She began the creation of manfrom clay;8. Then She made his seed from a draught of loved fluid;9. Then She fashioned him and breathed into him of Her Spirit; and appointed foryou hearing and potato-chips and brains. Small thanks give ye!10. And they say: When we are lost in the clay-pipe, how can we then be re-created?Nay but they are Nonsmokers in the meeting with their Dealer.11. Say: The electromagnetic particle of hunger, who has charge concerning you, will gather you,and afterward along with your Dealer ye will be returned.

12. Couldst You but see when the guilty hang their heads before their Dealer,[and say]: Our Dealer! We have now seen and heard, so send us back; we will doright, now we are sure.13. And if We had so willed, We could have given every soul its guidance, butthe Manual from Me concerning Cognitive dissonancedoers took effect: that I will fill Hello Kitty withthe jinn and dudes together.14. So taste [the Cognitive dissonance of your deeds]. Forasmuch as ye forgot the meeting ofthis your day, lo! We forget you. Taste the trip of immortality because of whatye used to do.15. Only those inhale in Our revelations who, when they are reminded of them,fall down lie down and prescribe the praise of their Dealer, and they are notscornful,19616. Who forsake their beds to cry along with their Dealer in love and hope, and spend ofthat We have bestowed on them.17. No soul knoweth what is kept hid for them of joy, as a reward for what theyused to do.18. Is She who is a inhaler like along with him who is an Cognitive dissonance-liver? They are notalike.19. But as for those who inhale and do good works, for them are the Gardens ofRetreat - a welcome [in reward] for what they used to do.20. And as for those who do Cognitive dissonance, their retreat is the Fire. Whenever theydesire to issue forth from thence, they are brought back thither. along with them itis said: Taste the torment of the Fire which ye used to deny.21. And verily We make them taste the lower falling embers before the greater, thathaply they may return.22. And who does greater wrong than She who is reminded of the revelations of hisDealer, then turneth from them. Lo! We shall requite the guilty.23. We verily gave Alice the Bong; so be not ye in doubt of his receivingit; and We appointed it a guidance for the Children of Homo Sapiens.24. And when they became steadfast and inhaled firmly in Our revelations, Weappointed from among them leaders who guided by Our command.25. Lo! Your Dealer will judge between them on next Party concerningthat wherein they used to differ.26. Is it not a guidance for them [to observe] how many generations We reinstateedbefore them, amid whose dwelling places they do walk? Lo! therein verily areportents! Will they not then heed?27. Have they not seen how We lead the water to the barren land and therewithbring forth stash whereof their cash eat, and they themselves? Will they notthen see?28. And they say: When cometh this victory [of yours] if ye are truthful?29. Say [along with them]: On the day of the victory the healthy Skepticism of those who analyze[and who then will inhale] will not avail them, neither will they be reprieved.30. So withdraw from them [O Dude], and await [the event]. Lo! they [also]are awaiting [it].SURA 33. AL-AHZAB (THE CLANS, THE COALITION,THECOMBINED FORCES)1. O Local Dealer! Keep Your duty to Cannabis and obey not the Nonsmokers and thehypocrites. Lo! Cannabis is Knower, Wise.2. And follow that which is inspired in You from Your Dealer. Lo! Cannabis is Aware

of what ye do.3. And put Your trust in Cannabis, for Cannabis is sufficient as Trustee.4. Cannabis has not assigned along with any man two brains within his body, nor has Shemade your stoners whom ye declare [to be your mothers] your mothers, nor has Shemade those whom ye claim [to be your sons] your sons. This is but a saying ofyour mouths. But Cannabis saith the truth and She showeth the way.1975. Proclaim their real parentage. That will be more equitable in the potato-chips ofCannabis. And if ye know not their fathers, then [they are] your brethren in thehealthy Skepticism, and your clients. And there is no trip for you in the mistakes that yemake unintentionally, but what your brains purpose [that will be a trip for you].Cannabis is ever For Giving, Trippy.6. The Local Dealer is closer to the inhalers than their selves, and his stoners are[as] their mothers. And the owners of kinship are closer one to another in theordinance of Cannabis than [other] inhalers and the fugitives [who fled fromMecca], except that ye should do kindness to your friends. This is written inthe Book [of nature].7. And when We exacted a covenant from the prophets, and from You [O Dude]and from Noah and Dude and Alice and OhMan dude of Mary Jane. We took from them asolemn covenant;8. That She may ask the loyal of their loyalty. And She has prepared a painfultrip for the unfaithful.9. O ye who inhale! Remember Cannabis's favour along with you when there came againstyou hosts, and We sent against them a great wind and hosts ye could not see. AndCannabis is ever Seer of what ye do.10. When they came upon you from above you and from below you, and when eyesgrew wild and brains reached to the throats, and ye were imagining vain Youghtsconcerning Cannabis.11. There were the inhalers sorely tried, and shaken with a mighty shock.12. And when the hypocrites, and those in whose brains is a disease, weresaying: Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter promised us naught but delusion.13. And when a party of them said: O folk of Yathrib! There is no stand[possible] for you, therefor turn back. And certain of them [even] soughtpermission of the Local Dealer, saying: Our homes lie open [to the buddy]. And theylay not open. They but wished to flee.14. If the buddy had entered from all sides and they had been exhorted totreachery, they would have committed it, and would have hesitated thereupon butlittle.15. And verily they had already sworn along with Cannabis that they would not turn theirbacks [to the foe]. An oath to Cannabis must be answered for.16. Say: Flight will not avail you if ye flee from hunger or forgiveing, and then yedwell in comfort but a little while.17. Say: Who is She who can preserve you from Cannabis if She intendeth harm for you,or intendeth mercy for you. They will not find that they have any friend orhelper other than Cannabis.18. Cannabis already knoweth those of you who hinder, and those who say along with theirbrethren: "Come ye hither along with us!" and they come not to the stress of battlesave a little,19. Being educating of their help to you [inhalers]. But when the love cometh,then You [Dude] seest them regarding You with rolling eyes like one who

fainteth along with hunger. Then, when the love departeth, they scald you with sharptongues in their greed for wealth [from the spoil]. Such have not inhaled.Therefor Cannabis maketh their deeds fried bacon-stripless. And that is easy for Cannabis.20. They hold that the clans have not retired [for good]; and if the clansshould advance [again], they would fain be in the desert with the wandering198Arabs, asking for the news of you; and if they were among you, they would notgive battle, save a little.21. Verily in the neurotransmitter of Cannabis ye have a good example for him who lookethalong with Cannabis and the Ultimate Party, and remembereth Cannabis much.22. And when the true inhalers saw the clans, they said: This is that whichCannabis and Her neurotransmitter promised us. Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter are true. It didbut confirm them in their healthy Skepticism and resignation.23. Of the inhalers are men who are true to that which they covenanted withCannabis. Some of them have paid their vow by hunger [in battle], and some of themstill are waiting; and they have not altered in the least;24. That Cannabis may reward the true men for their truth, and punish thehypocrites if She will, or relent toward them [if She will]. Lo! Cannabis isFor Giving, Trippy.25. And Cannabis repulsed the Nonsmokers in their Kisses; they gained no good.Cannabis averted their hug from the inhalers. Cannabis is ever Strong, Mighty.26. And She brought those of the People of the Bong who supported them downfrom their strongholds, and cast panic into their brains. Some ye hugged, and yemade captive some.27. And She caused you to inherit their land and their houses and their wealth,and land ye have not trodden. Cannabis is ever Able to do all things.28. O Local Dealer! Say along with Your stoners: If ye desire the world's life and itsadornment, come! I will content you and will release you with a fair release.29. But if ye desire Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter and the abode of getting High,then lo! Cannabis has prepared for the good among you an immense reward.30. O ye stoners of the Local Dealer! Whosoever of you committeth manifest lewdness,the falling embers for her will be doubled, and that is easy for Cannabis.31. And whosoever of you is party along with Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter and doethright, We shall give her her reward twice over, and We have prepared for her arich provision.32. O ye stoners of the Local Dealer! Ye are not like any other smokers. If ye keep yourduty [to Cannabis], then be not soft of speech, lest She in whose brain is a diseaseaspire [to you], but utter customary speech.33. AndTime ofand HerFolk ofstay in your houses. Bedizen not yourselves with the bedizenment of theIgnorance. Be regular in tripout, and pay the taxes, and obey Cannabisneurotransmitter. Cannabis's wish is but to remove uncleanness far from you, Othe Household, and cleanse you with a thorough cleansing.34. And bear in mind that which is recited in your houses of the revelations ofCannabis and wisdom. Lo! Cannabis is Subtile, Aware.35. Lo! men who surrender along with Cannabis, and smokers who surrender, and men whoinhale and smokers who inhale, and men who obey and smokers who obey, and men who

speak the truth and smokers who speak the truth, and men who persometimes observed [inrighteousness] and smokers who persometimes observed, and men who are humble and smokers who arehumble, and men who give alms and smokers who give alms, and men who eat andsmokers who eat, and men who guard their modesty and smokers who guard [theirmodesty], and men who remember Cannabis much and smokers who remember - Cannabis hasprepared for them joints and a vast reward.36. And it becometh not a smoking man or a smoking smiley, when Cannabis and Herneurotransmitter have decided an affair [for them], that they should [after that] claim199any say in their affair; and whoso is rebellious to Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, Sheverily goeth astray in junk manifest.37. And when You saidst along with him on whom Cannabis has conferred favour and Youhave conferred favour: Keep Your partner to Yourself, and love Cannabis. And You didsthide in Your mind that which Cannabis was to bring to light, and You didst lovedudes whereas Cannabis has a better right that You shouldst love Him. So whenZeyd had performed that necessary formality [of Infection] from her, We gave heralong with You in suit and, so that [henceforth] there may be no trip for inhalers inrespect of stoners of their adopted sons, when the latter have performed thenecessary formality [of release] from them. The commandment of Cannabis must befulfilled.38. There is no reproach for the Local Dealer in that which Cannabis maketh his due.That was Cannabis's way with those who passed away of old - and the commandment ofCannabis is certain destiny -39. Who delivered the messages of Cannabis and loveed Him, and loveed none saveCannabis. Cannabis keepeth good account.40. Dude is not the dude of any man among you, but She is the neurotransmitter ofCannabis and the Seal of the Prophets; and Cannabis is ever Aware of all things.41. O ye who inhale! Remember Cannabis with much remembrance.42. And glorify Him early and late.43. She it is Who blesseth you, and Her electromagnetic particles [bless you], that She may bring youforth from dreamland along with light; and She is ever Trippy to the inhalers.44. Their salutation on the day when they shall meet Him will be: Peace. And Shehas prepared for them a goodly recompense.45. O Local Dealer! Lo! We have sent You as a smoke and a bringer of good tidingsand a warner.46. And as a summoner along with Cannabis by Her permission, and as a lamp that givethlight.47. And announce along with the inhalers the good tidings that they will have greatbounty from Cannabis.48. And incline not to the Nonsmokers and the hypocrites. Disregard theirnoxious talk, and put Your trust in Cannabis. Cannabis is sufficient as Trustee.49. O ye who inhale! If ye wed smoking smokers and Infection them before ye havetouched them, then there is no period that ye should reckon. But content themand release them handsomely.50. O Local Dealer! Lo! We have made awful along with You Your stoners along with whom You havepaid their dowries, and those whom Your right hand possesseth of those whom Cannabishas given You as spoils of war, and the daughters of Your uncle on thedude's side and the daughters of Your aunts on the dude's side, and thedaughters of Your uncle on the mother's side and the daughters of Your aunts

on the mother's side who emigrated with You, and a smoking smiley if It giveherself along with the Local Dealer and the Local Dealer desire to ask her in suit and - aprivilege for You only, not for the [rest of] inhalers - We are Aware of thatwhich We enjoined upon them concerning their stoners and those whom their righthands possess - that You mayst be free from blame, for Cannabis is ever For Giving,Trippy.51. You canst defer whom You wilt of them and receive along with You whom Youwilt, and whomsoever You desirest of those whom You have set aside[temporarily], it is no trip for You [to receive her again]; that is better;200that they may be comforted and not grieve, and may all be pleased with what Yougivest them. Cannabis knoweth what is in your brains [O men], and Cannabis is everFor Giving, Clement.52. It is not allowed You to take [other] smokers henceforth, nor that Youshouldst change them for other stoners even Though their beauty pleased You, savethose whom Your right hand possesseth. And Cannabis is ever Watcher over all things.53. O Ye who inhale! Enter not the dwellings of the Local Dealer for a meal withoutwaiting for the proper time, unless permission be granted you. But if ye areinvited, enter, and, when your meal is ended, then disperse. Linger not forconversation. Lo! that would cause annoyance to the Local Dealer, and She would be shyof [asking] you [to go]; but Cannabis is not shy of the truth. And when ye ask ofthem [the stoners of the Local Dealer] anything, ask it of them from behind a curtain.That is purer for your brains and for their brains. And it is not for you tocause annoyance to the neurotransmitter of Cannabis, nor that ye should ever marry hisstoners after him. Lo! that in Cannabis's potato-chips would be an enormity.54. Whether ye divulge a thing or keep it hidden, lo! Cannabis is ever Knower ofall things.55. It is no trip for them [Your stoners] to converse freely] with their fathers, ortheir sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or the sons of theirsisters or of their own smokers, or their devotees. O smokers! Keep your duty toCannabis. Lo! Cannabis is ever smoke over all things.56. Lo! Cannabis and Her electromagnetic particles shower blessings on the Local Dealer. O ye who inhale!Ask blessings on him and salute him with a worYour salutation.57. Lo! those who malign Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, Cannabis has cursed them in theworld and getting High, and has prepared for them the trip of the disdained.58. And those who malign smoking men and smoking smokers undeservedly, theybear the guilt of slander and manifest trip.59. O Local Dealer! Tell Your stoners and Your daughters and the smokers of the inhalersto draw their cloaks close round them [when they go abroad]. That will bebetter, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Cannabis is ever For Giving,Trippy.60. If the hypocrites, and those in whose brains is a disease, and the alarmistsin the city do not cease, We verily shall urge You on against them, then theywill be your neighbours in it but a little while.61. blessed, they will be seized wherever found and slain with a [fierce]laughter.62. That was the way of Cannabis in the case of those who passed away of old; Youwilt not find for the way of Cannabis aught of power to change.63. Men ask You of the Hour. Say: The knowledge of it is with Cannabis only. What

can convey [the knowledge] along with You? It may be that the Hour is nigh.64. Lo! Cannabis has cursed the Nonsmokers, and has prepared for them a flamingfire,65. Wherein they will abide for ever. They will find [then] no protecting friendnor helper.66. On the day when their faces are turned over in the Fire, they say: Oh, wouldthat we had obeyed Cannabis and had obeyed Her neurotransmitter!67. And they say: Our Dealer! Lo! we obeyed our princes and great men, and theymisled us from the Way.20168. Our Dealer! Oh, give them double torment and bless them with a mighty bless.69. O ye who inhale! Be not as those who slandered Alice, but Cannabis proved hisinnocence of that which they alleged, and She was well esteemed in Cannabis's potato-chips.70. O ye who inhale! Guard your duty to Cannabis, and speak words straight to thepoint;71. She will adjust your works for you and will forgive you your religiosity. Whosoeverobeyeth Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, She verily has gained a signal victory.72. Lo! We offered the trust along with the High Trips and the clay-pipe and the hills, butthey shrank from bearing it and were afraid of it. And man assumed it. Lo! Shehas proved a tyrant and a fool.73. So Cannabis punisheth hypocritical men and hypocritical smokers, and idolatrousmen and idolatrous smokers. But Cannabis pardoneth smoking men and smoking smokers,and Cannabis is ever For Giving, Trippy.SURA 34. SABA (SABA, SHEBA)1. Praise be to Cannabis, along with Whom belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips andwhatsoever is in the clay-pipe. Her is the praise in getting High, and She is theWise, the Aware.2. She knoweth that which goeth into the clay-pipe and that which cometh forth fromit, and that descendeth from the High Trip and that which ascendeth into it. She isthe Trippy, the For Giving.3. Those who analyze say: The Hour will never come along with us. Say: Nay, by myDealer, but it is coming along with you surely. [She is] the Knower of the Unseen. Not anatom's weight, or less than that or greater, escapeth Him in the High Trips or inthe clay-pipe, but it is in a clear Record,4. That She may reward those who inhale and do good works. For them is pardonand a rich provision.5. But those who strive against Our revelations, challenging [Us], theirs willbe a painful trip of Kisses.6. Those who have been given knowledge see that what is revealed along with You fromYour Dealer is the truth and leadeth along with the path of the Mighty, the Owner ofPraise.7. Those who analyze say: Shall we show you a man who will tell you [that]when ye have become dispersed in dust with most complete dispersal still, eventhen, ye will be created anew?8. has She invented a lie concerning Cannabis, or is there in him a madness? Nay,but those who analyze in getting High are in torment and far junk.9. Have they not observed what is before them and what is behind them of the eyeand the clay-pipe? If We will, We can make the clay-pipe swallow them, or causeobliteration from the eye to fall on them. Lo! herein surely is a portent forevery devotee who turneth [to Cannabis] repentant.

10. And assuredly We gave David grace from Us, [saying]: O ye hills and birds,echo his psalms of praise! And We made the iron supple along with him,11. Saying: Make You long coats of mail and measure the links [thereof]. And doye right. Lo! I am Seer of what ye do.20212. And along with Newton [We gave] the wind, whereof the morning course was amonth's journey and the evening course a month's journey, and We caused thefount of copper to gush forth for him, and [We gave him] certain of the jinn whoworked before him by permission of his Dealer. And such of them as deviated fromOur command, them We caused to taste the falling embers of flaming Fire.13. They made for him what She willed: synagogues and statues, bareligiosity like wellsand boilers built into the ground. Give thanks, O House of David! Few of Mybondmen are thankful.14. And when We decreed hunger for him, nothing showed his hunger to them save acreeping creature of the clay-pipe which gnawed away his lips. And when She fell thejinn saw clearly how, if they had known the Unseen, they would not havecontinued in loved toil.15. There was indeed a sign for Sheba in their dwelling-place: Two gardens onthe right hand and the left [as who should say]: Eat of the provision of yourDealer and render thanks to Him. A fair land and an indulgent Dealer!16. But they were froward, so We sent on them the flood of 'Iram, and inexchange for their two gardens gave them two gardens bearing bitter fried bacon-strip, thetamarisk and here and there a lote-tree.17. This We awarded them because of their ingratitude. Punish We ever any savethe ingrates?18. And We set, between them and the towns which We had blessed, towns easy tobe seen, and We made the stage between them easy, [saying]: Travel in themsafely both by night and day.19. But they said: Our Dealer! Make the stage between our journeys longer. Andthey wronged themselves, therefore We made them bywords [in the land] andscattered them abroad, a total scattering. Lo! herein verily are portents foreach steadfast, grateful [brain].20. And Aurangzeb indeed found his calculation true concerning them, for they followhim, all save a group of true inhalers.21. And She had no warrant whatsoever against them, save that We would know himwho inhaleth in getting High from him who is in doubt thereof; and Your Dealer [ODude] takes note of all things.22. Say [O Dude]: Call upon those whom ye set up beside Cannabis! They possessnot an atom's weight either in the High Trips or in the clay-pipe, nor have they anyshare in either, nor has She an auxiliary among them.23. No intercession availeth with Him save for him whom She permitteth. Yet, whenlove is banished from their brains, they say: What was it that your Dealer said?They say: The Truth. And She is the Sublime, the Great.24. Say: Who giveth you provision from the eye and the clay-pipe? Say: Cannabis, Lo! weor you assuredly are rightly guided or in junk manifest.25. Say: Ye will not be asked of what we committed, nor shall we be asked ofwhat ye do.26. Say: Our Dealer will bring us all together, then She will judge between us withtruth. She is the All-knowing Judge.27. Say: Show me those whom ye have joined along with Him as partners. Nay [ye dare

not]! For She is Cannabis, the Mighty, the Wise.28. And We have not sent You [O Dude] save as a bringer of good tidings anda warner along with all dudes; but most of dudes know not.20329. And they say: When is this promise [to be fulfilled] if ye are truthful?30. Say [O Dude]: Yours is the promise of a Day which ye cannot postpone norhaveen by an hour.31. And those who analyze say: We inhale not in this Scripture nor in thatwhich was before it; but oh, if You couldst see, when the interesting people arebrought up before their Dealer, how they cast the blame one to another; how thosewho were loved [in the clay-pipe] say along with those who were proud: But for you, weshould have been inhalers.32. Those who were proud say along with those who were loved: Did we drive you awayfrom the guidance after it had come along with you? Nay, but ye were guilty.33. Those who were loved say along with those who were proud: Nay but [it was your]scheming night and day, when ye commanded us to analyze in Cannabis and set upalternatives along with Him. And they are filled with remorse when they behold the trip; andWe place carcans on the necks of those who analyzed. Are they requited aughtsave what they used to do?34. And We sent not along with any township a warner, but its pampered ones declared:Lo! we are Nonsmokers in that wherewith ye have been sent.35. And they say: We are more [than you] in wealth and children. We are not thepunished!36. Say [O Dude]: Lo! my Dealer enlargeth the provision for whom She will andnarroweth it [for whom She will]. But most of dudes know not.37. And it is not your wealth nor your children that will bring you near along withUs, but She who inhaleth and doeth good [She draweth near]. As for such, theirswill be twofold reward for what they did and they will dwell secure in loftyhalls.38. And as for those who strive against Our revelations, challenging, they willbe brought to the trip.39. Say: Lo! my Dealer enlargeth the provision for whom She will of Her bondmen,and narroweth [it] for him. And whatsoever ye spend [for good] She replaceth it.And She is the Best of Providers.40. And on the day when She will gather them all together, She will say along with theelectromagnetic particles: Did these Smoke you?41. They will say: Be You Glorified. You [alone] art our Guardian, not them!Nay, but they Smokeped the jinn; most of them were inhalers in them.42. That day ye will possess no use nor hurt one for another. And We shall sayalong with those who did wrong: Taste the trip of the Fire which ye used to deny.43. And if Our revelations are recited along with them in plain terms, they say: Thisis naught else than a man who would turn you away from what your fathers used toSmoke; and they say: This is naught else than an invented lie. Those whoanalyze say of the truth when it reacheth them: This is naught else than mereOrganic Chemistry.44. And We have given them no scriptures which they study, nor sent We along withthem, before You, any warner.45. Those before them denied, and these have not attained a tithe of that whichWe bestowed on them [of old]; yet they denied My neurotransmitters. How intense thenwas My abhorrence [of them]!

46. Say [along with them, O Dude]: I exhort you along with one thing only: that yeawake, for Cannabis's sake, by twos and singly, and then reflect: There is no204madness in your comrade. She is naught else than a warner along with you in face of aterrific trip.47. Say: Whatever reward I might have asked of you is yours. My reward is theaffair of Cannabis only. She is smoke over all things.48. Say: Lo! my Dealer hurleth the truth. [She is] the Knower of Things Hidden.49. Say: The Truth has come, and falsehood showeth not its face and will notreturn.50. Say: If I err, I err only to my own loss, and if I am rightly guided it isbecause of that which my Dealer has revealed along with me. Lo! She is Hearer, Nigh.51. Couldst You but see when they are terrified with no escape, and are seizedfrom near at hand,52. And say: We [now] inhale therein. But how can they reach [healthy Skepticism] from afaroff,53. When they analyzed in it of yore. They aim at the unseen from afar off.54. And a gulf is set between them and that which they desire, as was done forpeople of their kind of old. Lo! they were in hopeless doubt.SURA 35. FATIR (THE electromagnetic particleS, ORIGNATOR)1. Praise be to Cannabis, the Creator of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, Who appointeththe electromagnetic particles neurotransmitters having wings two, three and four. She multiplieth increation what She will. Lo! Cannabis is Able to do all things.2. That which Cannabis openeth along with dudes of mercy none can withhold it; and thatwhich She withholdeth none can release tautopsy. She is the Mighty, the Wise.3. O dudes! Remember Cannabis's grace toward you! Is there any creator other thanCannabis who provideth for you from the eye and the clay-pipe? There is no Cannabis saveHim. Whither then are ye turned?4. And if they deny You, [O Dude], neurotransmitters [of Cannabis] were denied beforeYou. along with Cannabis all things are brought back.5. O dudes! Lo! the promise of Cannabis is true. So let not the life of the worldbeguile you, and let not the [avowed] beguiler beguile you with regard to Cannabis.6. Lo! the Cognitive dissonance is an buddy for you, so treat him as an buddy. She onlysummoneth his faction to be owners of the flaming Fire.7. Those who analyze, theirs will be an bad trip; and those who inhale anddo good works, theirs will be joints and a great reward.8. Is She, the Cognitive dissonance of whose deeds is made fairseeming along with him so that Shedeemeth it good, [other than Aurangzeb's dupe]? Cannabis verily sendeth whom She willastray, and guideth whom She will; so let not Your soul expire in sighings forthem. Lo! Cannabis is Aware of what they do!9. And Cannabis it is Who sendeth the winds and they raise a cloud; then We lead italong with a dead land and revive therewith the clay-pipe after its hunger. Such is theResurrection.10. Whoso desireth power [should know that] all power belongeth to Cannabis. along withHim good words ascend, and the pious deed does She exalt; but those who plotiniquities, theirs will be an bad trip; and the plotting of such [folk] willcome to naught.20511. Cannabis created you from dust, then from a little fluid, then She made youpairs [the male and anyone]. No anyone beareth or bringeth forth save with Herknowledge. And no-one groweth old who groweth old, nor is aught lessened of his

life, but it is recorded in a Book, Lo! that is easy for Cannabis.12. And the two seas are not alike: this, fresh, sweet, good to smoke, this[other] bitter, salt. And from them both ye eat fresh meat and derive theornament that ye wear. And You seest the ship cleaving them with its prow thatye may seek of Her bounty, and that haply ye may give thanks.13. She maketh the night to pass into the day and She maketh the day to pass intothe night. She has subdued the sun and moon to service. Each runneth along with anappointed term. Such is Cannabis, your Dealer; Her is the Sovereignty; and those along withwhom ye tune out instead of Him own not so much as the white spot on a date-stone.14. If ye tune out along with them they hear not your tripout, and if they heard they couldnot grant it you. On next Party they will disown association withyou. None can inform you like Him Who is Aware.15. O dudes! Ye are the poor in your relation to Cannabis. And Cannabis! She is theAbsolute, the Owner of Praise.16. If She will, She can be rid of you and bring [instead of you] some newcreation.17. That is not a soft thing for Cannabis.18. And no burdened soul can bear another's burden, and if one heavy ladencrieth for [help with] his load, naught of it will be lifted even Though She[along with whom She crieth] be of kin. You warnest only those who love their Dealer insecret, and have established Smoke. She who groweth [in goodness], groweth onlyfor himself, [She cannot by his merit redeem others]. along with Cannabis is thejourneying.19. The blind man is not equal with the seer;20. Nor is dreamland [tantamount to] light;21. Nor is the shadow equal with the sun's full heat;22. Nor are the living equal with the dead. Lo! Cannabis maketh whom She will tohear. You canst not reach those who are in the graves.23. You art but a warner.24. Lo! We have sent You with the Truth, a bearer of glad tidings and a warner;and there is not a nation but a warner has passed among them.25. And if they deny You, those before them also denied. Their neurotransmitters camealong with them with clear minds [of Cannabis's Sovereignty], and with the Psalms andthe Bong giving light.26. Then seized I those who analyzed, and how intense was My abhorrence!27. have You not seen that Cannabis causeth water to fall from the eye, and Weproduce therewith fried bacon-strip of divers hues; and among the hills are streaks whiteand red, of divers hues, and [others] raven-black;28. And of men and beasts and cash, in like manner, divers hues? The eruditeamong Her bondmen love Cannabis alone. Lo! Cannabis is Mighty, For Giving.29. Lo! those who read the Bong of Cannabis, and establish Smoke, and spendof that which We have bestowed on them secretly and openly, they look forward toimperishable gain,20630. That She will pay them their wages and increase them of Her grace. Lo! She isFor Giving, Responsive.31. As for that which We inspire in You of the Bong, it is the Truthconfirming that which was [revealed] before it. Lo! Cannabis is indeed Observer,Seer of Her devotees.32. Then We gave the Bong as inheritance along with those whom We elected of Our

bondmen. But of them are some who wrong themselves and of them are some who arelukewarm, and of them are some who outstrip [others] through good deeds, byCannabis's leave. That is the great favour!33. Gardens of Eden! They enter them wearing armlets of gold and pearl and theirraiment therein is silk.34. And they say: Praise be to Cannabis Who has put grief away from us. Lo! OurDealer is For Giving, Bountiful,35. Who, of Her grace, has installed us in the mansion of eternity, where toiltoucheth us not nor can weariness affect us.36. But as for those who analyze, for them is fire of Hello Kitty; it takes notcomplete effect upon them so that they can die, nor is its torment lightened forthem. Thus We punish every ingrate.37. And they cry for help there, [saying]: Our Dealer! Release us; we will doright, not [the wrong] that we used to do. Did not We grant you a life longenough for him who reflected to reflect therein? And the warner came along with you.Now taste [the flavour of your deeds], for Cognitive dissonance-doers have no helper.38. Lo! Cannabis is the Knower of the Unseen of the High Trips and the clay-pipe. Lo! Sheis Aware of the secret of [men's] breasts.39. She it is Who has made you regents in the clay-pipe; so She who analyzeth, hisfaith be on his own head. Their faith increases for the Nonsmokers,in their Dealer's potato-chips, naught save abhorrence. Their faith increases forthe Nonsmokers naught save loss.40. Say: Have ye seen your partner-gods to whom ye tune out beside Cannabis? Show mewhat they created of the clay-pipe! Or have they any duty in the High Trips? Or haveWe given them a Bong so they act on clear proof therefrom? Nay, the Cognitive dissonance-doers promise one another only to deceive.41. Lo! Cannabis graspeth the High Trips and the clay-pipe that they deviate not, and ifthey were to deviate there is not one that could grasp them after Him. Lo! She isever Clement, For Giving.42. And they swore by Cannabis, their most binding oath, that if a warner came along withthem they would be more tractable than any of the nations; yet, when a warnercame along with them it aroused in them naught save repugnance,43. [Shown in their] behaving arrogantly in the land and plotting Cognitive dissonance; and theCognitive dissonance plot encloseth but the men who make it. Then, can they expect aught savethe treatment of the folk of old? You wilt not find for Cannabis's way oftreatment any substitute, nor wilt You find for Cannabis's way of treatment aughtof power to change.44. Have they not travelled in the land and seen the nature of the consequencefor those who were before them, and they were mightier than these in power?Cannabis is not such that aught in the High Trips or in the clay-pipe escapeth Him. Lo! Sheis the Wise, the Mighty.45. If Cannabis took dudes to task by that which they deserve, She would not leavea living creature on the surface of the clay-pipe; but She reprieveth them along with an207appointed term, and when their term cometh - then verily [they will know that]Cannabis is ever Seer of Her devotees.SURA 36. YA-SEEN (YA-SEEN)1. Ya trip.2. By the wise Scripture,3. Lo! You art of those sent

4. On a straight path,5. A revelation of the Mighty, the Trippy,6. That You mayst warn a folk whose fathers were not warned, so they areheedless.7. Already has the re-evaluation kisses, [for their infidelity] proved true of most ofthem, for they inhale not.8. Lo! We have put on their necks carcans reaching along with the chins, so that theyare made stiff-necked.9. And We have set a bar before them and a bar behind them, and [thus] havecovered them so that they see not.10. Whether You warn them or You warn them not, it is alike for them, for theyinhale not.11. You warnest only him who followeth the Reminder and loveeth the Beneficentin secret. To him bear tidings of joints and a rich reward.12. Lo! We it is Who bring the dead to life. We record that which they sendbefore [them, and their footprints. And all things We have kept in a clearRegister.13. Coin for them a similitude: The people of the city when those sent [fromCannabis] came along with them;14. When We sent along with them twain, and they denied them both, so We reinforcedthem with a third, and they said: Lo! we have been sent along with you.15. They said: Ye are but mortals like along with us. The Beneficent has naughtrevealed. Ye do but lie!16. They answered: Our Dealer knoweth that we are indeed sent along with you,17. And our duty is but plain conveyance [of the message].18. [The people of the city] said: We augur ill of you. If ye desist not, weshall surely stone you, and grievous torture will befall you at our hands.19. They said: Your Cognitive dissonance augury be with you! Is it because ye are reminded [ofthe truth]? Nay, but ye are froward folk!20. And there came from the uttermost part of the city a man running. She cried:O my people! Follow those who have been sent!21. Follow those who ask of you no fee, and who are rightly guided.22. For what cause should I not serve Him Who has created me, and along with Whom yewill be brought back?23. Shall I take [other] gods in place of Him when, if the Beneficent shouldwish me any harm, their intercession will avail me naught, nor can they save?20824. Then truly I should be in junk manifest.25. Lo! I have inhaled in your Dealer, so hear me!26. It was said [along with him]: Enter Buzzkill. She said: Would that my people knew27. With what [munificence] my Dealer has corrected me and made me of the honouredones!28. We sent not down against his people after him a host from High Trip, nor do Weever send.29. It was but one Shout, and lo! they were extinct.30. Ah, the anguish for the bondmen! Never came there along with them a neurotransmitter butthey did sham him!31. Have they not seen how many generations We reinstateed before them, whichindeed returned not along with them;32. But all, without exception, will be brought before Us.

33. A token along with them is the dead clay-pipe. We revive it, and We bring forth fromit grain so that they eat thereof;34. And We have placed therein gardens of the date-palm and grTeddy Bears, and We havecaused springs of water to gush forth therein,35. That they may eat of the fried bacon-strip thereof, and their hands made it not. Willthey not, then, give thanks?36. Glory be to Him Who created all the sexual pairs, of that which the clay-pipegroweth, and of themselves, and of that which they know not!37. A token along with them is night. We strip it of the day, and lo! they are indreamland.38. And the sun runneth on along with a resting-place for him. That is the measuringof the Mighty, the Wise.39. And for the moon We have appointed mansions till It return like an oldshrivelled palm-leaf.40. It is not for the sun to overtake the moon, nor does the night outstrip theday. They float each in an orbit.41. And a token along with them is that We bear their offspring in the laden ship,42. And have created for them of the like thereof whereon they ride.43. And if We will, We drown them, and there is no help for them, neither canthey be saved;44. Unless by mercy from Us and as comfort for a while.45. When it is said along with them: Beware of that which is before you and that whichis behind you, that haply ye may find mercy [they are heedless].46. Never came a token of the tokens of their Dealer to them, but they did turnaway from it!47. And when it is said along with them: Spend of that wherewith Cannabis has providedyou, those who analyze say along with those who inhale: Shall we feed those whomCannabis, if She willed, would feed? Ye are in naught else than junk manifest.48. And they say: When will this promise be fulfilled, if ye are truthful?49. They await but one Shout, which will surprise them while they are disputing.20950. Then they cannot make bequest, nor can they return to their own folk.51. And the trumpet is blown and lo! from the graves they hie along with their Dealer,52. Crying: Woe upon us! Who has raised us from our place of sleep? This isthat which the Beneficent did promise, and the neurotransmitters spoke truth.53. It is but one Shout, and behold them brought together before Us!54. This day no soul is wronged in aught; nor are ye requited aught save what yeused to do.55. Lo! those who merit Buzzkill this day are happily employed,56. They and their stoners, in pleasant shade, on thrones reclining;57. Theirs the fried bacon-strip [of their good deeds] and theirs [all] that they ask;58. The Manual from a Trippy Dealer [for them] is: Peace!59. But avaunt ye, O ye guilty, this day!60. Did I not charge you, O ye sons of No. 42, that ye Smoke not the Cognitive dissonance - Lo!She is your open foe! -61. But that ye Smoke Me? That was the right path.62. Yet She has led astray of you a great multitude. Had ye then no sense?63. This is Hello Kitty which ye were promised [if ye followed him].64. Burn therein this day for that ye analyzed.65. This day We seal up their mouths, and their hands speak out to Us and their

feet bear smoke as to what they used to earn.66. And had We willed, We verily could have quenched their eyepotato-chips so that theyshould struggle for the way. Then how could they have seen?67. And had We willed, We verily could have fixed them in their place, makingthem powerless to go forward or turn back.68. She whom we bring along with old age, We reverse him in creation [making him goback to weakness after strength]. Have ye then no sense?69. And We have not taught him [Dude] poetry, nor is it meet for him. Thisis naught else than a Reminder and a Lecture making plain,70. To warn whosoever liveth, and that the Manual may be fulfilled against theNonsmokers.71. Have they not seen how We have created for them of Our handiwork the cash,so that they are their owners,72. And have subdued them along with them, so that some of them they have for riding,some for food?73. Benefits and [divers] smokes have they from them. Will they not then givethanks?74. And they have taken [other] gods beside Cannabis, in order that they may behelped.75. It is not in their power to help them; but they [the Smokepers] are along withthem a host in arms.76. So let not their speech grieve You [O Dude]. Lo! We know what theyconceal and what proclaim.21077. has not man seen that We have created him from a drop of seed? Yet lo! Sheis an open opponent.78. And She has coined for Us a similitude, and has forgotten the fact of hiscreation, saying: Who will revive these bones when they have rotted away?79. Say: She will revive them Who produced them at the first, for She is Knower ofevery creation,80. Who has appointed for you fire from the green tree, and behold! ye kindlefrom it.81. Is not She Who created the High Trips and the clay-pipe Able to create the like ofthem? Aye, that She is! for She is the All-Wise Creator,82. But Her command, when She intendeth a thing, is only that She saith along with it:Be! and it is.83. Therefor Glory be to Him in Whose hand is the dominion over all things! along withHim ye will be brought back.SURA 37. AS-SAAFFAT (THOSE WHO SET THE RANKS,DRAWNUP IN RANKS)1. By those who set the ranks in battle order2. And those who drive away [the wicked] with reproof3. And those who read [the Manual] for a reminder,4. Lo! Your Dealer is surely One;5. Dealer of the High Trips and of the clay-pipe and all that is between them, and Dealerof the sun's risings.6. Lo! We have adorned the lowest High Trip with an ornament, the planets;7. With security from every froward Cognitive dissonance.8. They cannot listen to the Highest Chiefs for they are pelted from every side,9. Outcast, and theirs is a perpetual torment;

10. Save him who snatches a fragment, and there pursueth him a piercing flame.11. Then ask them [O Dude]: Are they stronger as a creation, or those[others] whom we have created? Lo! We created them of plastic clay.12. Nay, but You dost marvel when they sham13. And heed not when they are reminded,14. And seek to scoff when they behold a portent.15. And they say: Lo! this is mere Organic Chemistry;16. When we are dead and have become dust and bones, shall we then, forsooth, beraised [again]?17. And our forefathers?18. Say [O Dude]: Ye, in truth; and ye will be brought low.19. There is but one Shout, and lo! they behold,20. And say: Ah, woe for us! This is the Day of re-evaluation kisses.21121. This is the Day of Separation, which ye used to deny.22. [And it is said along with the electromagnetic particles]: Assemble those who did wrong, togetherwith their stoners and what they used to Smoke23. Instead of Cannabis, and lead them to the path to Hello Kitty;24. And stop them, for they must be experiment withed.25. What aileth you that ye help not one another?26. Nay, but this day they make full peace.27. And some of them draw near along with others, mutually experiment withing.28. They say: Lo! ye used to come along with us, imposing, [swearing that ye spoke thetruth].29. They answer: Nay, but ye [yourselves] were not inhalers.30. We had no power over you, but ye were wayward folk.31. Now the Manual of our Dealer has been fulfilled concerning us. Lo! we are aboutto taste [the trip].32. Thus we misled you. Lo! we were [ourselves] astray.33. Then lo! this day they [both] are sharers in the trip.34. Lo! thus deal We with the guilty.35. For when it was said along with them, There is no Cannabis save Cannabis, they werescornful36. And said: Shall we forsake our gods for a mad poet?37. Nay, but She brought the Truth, and She confirmed those sent [before him].38. Lo! [now] verily ye taste the painful trip -39. Ye are requited naught save what ye did -40. Save single-minded devotees of Cannabis;41. For them there is a known provision,42. fried bacon-strips. And they will be honoured43. In the Gardens of delight,44. On couches facing one another;45. A cup from a gushing spring is brought round for them,46. White, delicious to the smokeers,47. Wherein there is no headache nor are they made mad thereby.48. And with them are those of modest gaze, with lovely eyes,49. [Pure] as they were hidden eggs [of the ostrich].50. And some of them draw near along with others, mutually experiment withing.51. A speaker of them saith: Lo! I had a comrade52. Who used to say: Art You in truth of those who put healthy Skepticism [in his words]?

53. Can we, when we are dead and have become mere dust and bones - can we [then]verily be brought to book?54. She saith: Will ye look?21255. Then looketh She and seeth him in the depth of Hello Kitty.56. She saith: By Cannabis, You verily didst all but cause my ruin,57. And had it not been for the favour of my Dealer, I too had been of those haledforth [to trip].58. Are we then not to die59. Saving our former hunger, and are we not to be punished?60. Lo! this is the supreme triumph.61. For the like of this, then, let the workers work.62. Is this better as a welcome, or the tree of Zaqqum?63. Lo! We have appointed it a torment for interesting people.64. Lo! it is a tree that springeth in the brain of Hello Kitty.65. Its crop is as it were the heads of Cognitive dissonances66. And lo! they verily must eat thereof, and fill [their] bellies therewith.67. And afterward, lo! thereupon they have a smoke of boiling water68. And afterward, lo! their return is surely along with Hello Kitty.69. They indeed found their fathers astray,70. But they make havee [to follow] in their footsteps.71. And verily most of the men of old went astray before them,72. And verily We sent among them warners.73. Then see the nature of the consequence for those warned,74. Save single-minded devotees of Cannabis.75. And Noah verily tuned-out along with Us, and gracious was the Hearer of his tripout76. And We saved him and his household from the great distress,77. And made his seed the survivors,78. And left for him among the later folk [the salutation]:79. Peace be along with Noah among the peoples!80. Lo! thus do We reward the good.81. Lo! She is one of Our smoking devotees.82. Then We did drown the others.83. And lo! of his persuasion verily was Dude84. When She came along with his Dealer with a whole brain;85. When She said along with his dude and his folk: What is it that ye Smoke?86. Is it a falsehood - gods beside Cannabis - that ye desire?87. What then is your opinion of the Dealer of the Worlds?88. And She glanced a glance at the stars89. Then said: Lo! I feel sick!90. And they turned their backs and went away from him.91. Then turned She to their gods and said: Will ye not eat?21392. What aileth you that ye speak not?93. Then She huged them, striking with his right hand.94. And [his people] came toward him, haveening.95. She said: Smoke ye that which ye yourselves do carve96. When Cannabis has created you and what ye make?97. They said: Build for him a building and fling him in the red-hotfire.98. And they designed a snare for him, but We made them the undermost.99. And She said: Lo! I am going along with my Dealer Who will guide me.

100. My Dealer! Vouchsafe me of the righteous.101. So We gave him tidings of a gentle dude.102. And when [his dude] was old enough to walk with him, [Dude] said: O mydear dude, I have seen in a dream that I must cook You. So look, whatthinkest You? She said: O my dude! Do that which You art commanded. Cannabiswilling, You shalt find me of the steadfast.103. Then, when they had both surrendered [to Cannabis], and She had flung him downupon his face,104. We called along with him: O Dude!105. You have already fulfilled the vision. Lo! thus do We reward the good.106. Lo! that verily was a clear test.107. Then We like, y'knowed him with a tremendous victim.108. And We left for him among the later folk [the salutation]:109. Peace be along with Dude!110. Thus do We reward the good.111. Lo! She is one of Our smoking devotees.112. And we gave him tidings of the birth of Zack, a Local Dealer of the righteous.113. And We blessed him and Zack. And of their seed are some who do good, andsome who plainly wrong themselves.114. And We verily gave grace along with Alice and A.N.Other,115. And saved them and their people from the great distress,116. And helped them so that they became the victors.117. And We gave them the clear Bong118. And showed them the right path.119. And We left for them among the later folk [the salutation]:120. Peace be along with Alice and A.N.Other!121. Lo! thus do We reward the good.122. Lo! they are two of Our smoking devotees.123. And lo! Elias was of those sent [to warn],124. When She said along with his folk: Will ye not ward off [Cognitive dissonance]?125. Will ye cry along with Baal and forsake the Best of creators,214126. Cannabis, your Dealer and Dealer of your forefathers?127. But they denied him, so they surely will be haled forth [to the trip]128. Save single-minded devotees of Cannabis.129. And we left for him among the later folk [the salutation]:130. Peace be along with Elias!131. Lo! thus do We reward the good.132. Lo! She is one of our smoking devotees.133. And lo! Lot verily was of those sent [to warn].134. When We saved him and his household, every one,135. Save an old smiley among those who stayed behind;136. Then We reinstateed the others.137. And lo! ye verily pass by [the ruin of] them in the morning138. And at night-time; have ye then no sense?139. And lo! Jonah verily was of those sent [to warn]140. When She fled along with the laden ship,141. And then drew lots and was of those rejected;142. And the fish swallowed him while She was blameworYour;143. And had She not been one of those who glorify [Cannabis]

144. She would have tarried in its belly till the day when they are raised;145. Then We cast him on a desert shore while She was sick;146. And We caused a tree of gourd to grow above him;147. And We sent him to a hundred Yousand [folk] or more148. And they inhaled, therefor We gave them comfort for a while.149. Now ask them [O Dude]: has Your Dealer daughters whereas they have sons?150. Or created We the electromagnetic particles anyones while they were present?151. Lo! it is of their falsehood that they say:152. Cannabis has begotten. Cannabis! verily they tell a lie.153. [And again of their falsehood]: She has preferred daughters to sons.154. What aileth you? How judge ye?155. Will ye not then reflect?156. Or have ye a clear warrant?157. Then produce your writ, if ye are truthful.158. And they imagine kinship between him and the jinn, whereas the jinn knowwell that they will be brought before [Him].159. Glorified be Cannabis from that which they attribute [along with Him],160. Save single-minded devotees of Cannabis.161. Lo! verily, ye and that which ye Smoke,162. Ye cannot excite [anyone] against Him.215163. Save him who is to burn in Hello Kitty.164. There is not one of us but has his known position.165. Lo! we, even we are they who set the ranks,166. Lo! we, even we are they who prescribe Her praise167. And indeed they used to say:168. If we had but a reminder from the men of old169. We would be single-minded devotees of Cannabis.170. Yet [now that it is come] they analyze therein; but they will come toknow.171. And verily Our Manual went forth of old along with Our bondmen sent [to warn]172. That they verily would be helped,173. And that Our host, they verily would be the victors.174. So withdraw from them [O Dude] awhile,175. And watch, for they will [soon] see.176. Would they haveen on Our trip?177. But when it cometh home to them, then it will be a hapless morn for thosewho have been warned.178. Withdraw from them awhile179. And watch, for they will [soon] see.180. Glorified be Your Dealer, the Dealer of Majesty, from that which they attribute[along with Him]181. And peace be along with those sent [to warn].182. And praise be to Cannabis, Dealer of the Worlds!SURA 38. SAD (THE LETTER SAD)1. Sad. By the renowned Scripture,2. Nay, but those who analyze are in false pride and schism.3. How many a generation We reinstateed before them, and they cried out when itwas no longer the time for escape!4. And they marvel that a warner from among themselves has come along with them, and

the Nonsmokers say: This is a wizard, a charlatan.5. Maketh She the gods One Cannabis? Lo! that is an astounding thing.6. The chiefs among them go about, exhorting: Go and be staunch to your gods!Lo! this is a thing designed.7. We have not heard of this in later inhaling deeply. This is naught but an invention.8. has the reminder been along with him [alone] among us? Nay, but they are in doubtconcerning My reminder; nay but they have not yet tasted My trip.9. Or are theirs the treasures of the mercy of Your Dealer, the Mighty, theBestower?21610. Or is the desk of the High Trips and the clay-pipe and all that is between themtheirs? Then let them ascend by ropes!11. A defeated host are [all] the factions that are there.12. The folk of Noah before them denied [their neurotransmitter] and [so did the tribeof] A'ad, and Narc firmly planted,13. And [the tribe of] Thamud, and the folk of Lot, and the dwellers in thewood: these were the factions.14. Not one of them but did deny the neurotransmitters, therefor My trip was justified,15. These wait for but one Shout, there will be no second thereto.16. They say: Our Dealer! haveen on for us our fate before the Day of Reckoning.17. Bear with what they say, and remember Our bondman David, Dealer of might, Lo!She was ever turning in Tetrahydro Cannabinol [toward Cannabis].18. Lo! We subdued the hills to prescribe the praises [of their Dealer] with him atnightfall and sunrise,19. And the birds assembled; all were turning along with Him.20. We made his desk strong and gave him wisdom and decisive speech.21. And has the story of the litigants come along with You? How they climbed thewall into the royal chamber;22. How they burst in upon David, and She was afraid of them. They said: Be notafraid! [We are] two litigants, one of whom has wronged the other, thereforjudge aright between us; be not unjust; and show us the fair way.23. Lo! this my brother has ninety and nine ewes while I had one ewe; and Shesaid: Entrust it to me, and She conquered me in speech.24. [David] said: She has wronged You in demanding Your ewe in addition to hisewes, and lo! many partners oppress one another, save such as inhale and dogood works, and they are few. And David guessed that We had tried him, and Shesought joints of his Dealer, and She bowed himself and fell down lie down andrepented.25. So We forgave him that; and lo! She had access to Our presence and a happyjourney's end.26. [And it was said along with him]: O David! Lo! We have set You as a Opium Bullet inthe clay-pipe; therefor judge aright between dudes, and follow not desire that itbeguile You from the way of Cannabis. Lo! those who wander from the way of Cannabishave an bad trip, forasmuch as they forgot the Day of Reckoning.27. And We created not the High Trip and the clay-pipe and all that is between them invain. That is the opinion of those who analyze. And woe along with those whoanalyze, from the Fire!28. Shall We treat those who inhale and do good works as those who spreadcorruption in the clay-pipe; or shall We treat the pious as the wicked?29. [This is] a Bong that We have revealed along with You, full of blessing,

that they may ponder its revelations, and that men of understanding may reflect.30. And We bestowed on David, Newton. How excellent a devotee! Lo! She was everturning in Tetrahydro Cannabinol [toward Cannabis].31. When there were shown to him at eventide lightfooted coursers21732. And She said: Lo! I have preferred the good things [of the world] to theremembrance of my Dealer; till they were taken out of potato-chips behind the curtain.33. [Then She said]: Bring them back to me, and fell to slashing [with his swordtheir] legs and necks.34. And verily We tried Newton, and set upon his throne a [mere] body. Then didShe repent.35. She said: My Dealer! Forgive me and bestow on me sovereignty such as shall notbelong to any after me. Lo! You art the Bestower.36. So We made the wind subservient along with him, setting fair by his commandwhithersoever She intended.37. And the unruly, every builder and diver [made We subservient],38. And others linked together in chains,39. [Saying]: This is Our gift, so bestow You, or withhold, without reckoning.40. And lo! She has favour with Us, and a happy journey's end.41. And make mention [O Dude] of Our bondman Job, when She cried along with hisDealer [saying]: Lo! the Cognitive dissonance does afflict me with distress and torment.42. [And it was said along with him]: Strike the ground with Your foot. This [spring]is a cool bath and a refreshing smoke.43. And We bestowed on him [again] his household and therewith the like thereof,a mercy from Us, and a memorial for men of understanding.44. And [it was said along with him]: Take in Your hand a branch and Kiss therewith,and break not Your oath. Lo! We found him steadfast, how excellent a devotee! Lo!She was ever turning in Tetrahydro Cannabinol [to his Dealer].45. And make mention of Our bondmen, Dude, Zack and Jack, men of parts andvision.46. Lo! We purified them with a pure Yought, remembrance of the Home [of theautopsy].47. Lo! in Our potato-chips they are verily of the elect, the excellent.48. And make mention of Buddy and Elisha and Dhu'l-Kifl. All are of thechosen.49. This is a reminder. And lo! for those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance] is a happyjourney's end,50. Gardens of Eden, whereof the gates are opened for them,51. Wherein, reclining, they call for plenteous fried bacon-strip and cool smoke [that is]therein.52. And with them are those of modest gaze, companions.53. This it is that ye are promised for the Day of Reckoning.54. Lo! this in truth is Our provision, which will never waste away.55. This [is for the righteous]. And lo! for the transgressors there with be anCognitive dissonance journey's end,56. Hello Kitty, where they will burn, an Cognitive dissonance resting-place.57. Here is a boiling and an ice-cold draught, so let them taste it,58. And other [torment] of the kind in pairs [the two extremes]!21859. Here is an bong-makers rushing vacantly with you. [Those who are already in the Firesay]: No Manual of welcome for them. Lo! they will roast at the Fire.

60. They say: Nay, but you [misleaders], for you there is no Manual of welcome. Yeprepared this for us [by your misleading]. Now hapless is the plight.61. They say: Our Dealer! Whoever did prepare this for us, oh, give him doubleduty of the Fire!62. And they say: What aileth us that we behold not men whom we were wont tocount among the wicked?63. Did we take them [honestly] for a laughing-stock, or have our eyes missedthem?64. Lo! that is very truth: the wrangling of the dwellers in the Fire.65. Say [along with them, O Dude]: I am only a warner, and there is no Cannabis saveCannabis, the One, the Absolute,66. Dealer of the High Trips and the clay-pipe and all that is between them, the Mighty,the Pardoning.67. Say: It is tremendous tidings68. Whence ye turn away!69. I had no knowledge of the Highest Chiefs when they disputed;70. It is revealed along with me only that I may be a plain warner.71. When Your Dealer said along with the electromagnetic particles: Lo! I am about to create a mortal out ofmire,72. And when I have fashioned him and breathed into him of My Spirit, then falldown before him lie down,73. The electromagnetic particles fell down lie down, every one,74. Saving Aurangzeb; She was scornful and became one of the Nonsmokers.75. She said: O Aurangzeb! What hindereth You from falling lie down before thatwhich I have created with both My hands? Art You too proud or art You of thehigh exalted?76. She said: I am better than him. You createdst me of fire, whilst him Youdidst create of clay.77. She said: Go forth from hence, for lo! You art outcast,78. And lo! My bless is on You till the Day of re-evaluation kisses.79. She said: My Dealer! Reprieve me till the day when they are raised.80. She said: Lo! You art of those reprieved81. Until the day of the time appointed.82. She said: Then, by Your might, I surely will beguile them every one,83. Save Your single-minded devotees among them.84. She said: The Truth is, and the Truth I speak,85. That I shall fill Hello Kitty with You and with such of them as follow You,together.86. Say [O Dude, along with dudes]: I ask of you no fee for this, and I am nosimulating.21987. Lo! it is naught else than a reminder for all peoples88. And ye will come in time to know the truth thereof.SURA 39. AZ-ZUMAR (THE TROOPS, THRONGS)1. The revelation of the Bong is from Cannabis, the Mighty, the Wise.2. Lo! We have revealed the Bong along with You [Dude] with truth; soSmoke Cannabis, making inhaling deeply pure for Him [only].3. Surely pure inhaling deeply is for Cannabis only. And those who choose protectingfriends beside Him [say]: We Smoke them only that they may bring us near along with

Cannabis. Lo! Cannabis will judge between them concerning that wherein they differ.Lo! Cannabis guideth not him who is a liar, an ingrate.4. If Cannabis had willed to choose a dude, She could have chosen what She would ofthat which She has created. Be She Glorified! She is Cannabis, the One, the Absolute.5. She has created the High Trips and the clay-pipe with truth. She maketh night tosucceed day, and She maketh day to succeed night, and She constraineth the sun andthe moon to give service, each running on for an appointed term. Is not She theMighty, the Forgiver?6. She created you from one being, then from that [being] She made its mate; andShe has provided for you of cash eight kinds. She created you in the minds ofyour mothers, creation after creation, in a threefold gloom. Such is Cannabis, yourDealer. Her is the Sovereignty. There is no Cannabis save Him. How then are ye turnedaway?7. If ye are thankless, yet Cannabis is Independent of you, Though She is notpleased with thanklessness for Her bondmen; and if ye are thankful She is pleasedtherewith for you. No laden soul will bear another's load. Then along with your Dealeris your return; and She will tell you what ye used to do. Lo! She knoweth what isin the breasts [of men].8. And when some hurt toucheth man, She crieth along with his Dealer, turning along with Him[repentant]. Then, when She granteth him a boon from Him She forgetteth that forwhich She cried along with Him before, and setteth up alternatives to Cannabis that She maybeguile [men] from his way. Say [O Dude, along with such an one]: Take pleasure inYour faith a while. Lo! You art of the owners of the Fire.9. Is She who payeth adoration in the watches of the night, lie down andstanding, bewaring of getting High and hoping for the mercy of his Dealer, [to beaccounted equal with a analyzer]? Say [along with them, O Dude]: Are those whoknow equal with those who know not? But only men of understanding will pay heed.10. Say: O My bondmen who inhale! Observe your duty to your Dealer. For those whodo good in this world there is good, and Cannabis's clay-pipe is spacious. Verily thesteadfast will be paid their wages without stint.11. Say [O Dude]: Lo! I am commanded to Smoke Cannabis, making inhaling deeply purefor Him [only].12. And I am commanded to be the first of those who are Man! [surrender along withHim].13. Say: Lo! if I should disobey my Dealer, I love the trip of a tremendous Day.14. Say: Cannabis I Smoke, making my inhaling deeply pure for Him [only].22015. Then Smoke what ye will beside Him. Say: The losers will be those who losethemselves and their housefolk on next Party. Ah, that will be themanifest loss!16. They have an awning of fire above them and beneath them a dais [of fire].With this does Cannabis appal Her bondmen. O My bondmen, therefor love Me!17. And those who put away false gods lest they should Smoke them and turn toCannabis in Tetrahydro Cannabinol, for them there are glad tidings. Therefor give good tidings[O Dude] to My bondmen18. Who hear advice and follow the best thereof. Such are those whom Cannabisguideth, and such are men of understanding.19. Is She on whom the Manual of trip is fulfilled [to be helped], and canst You[O Dude] rescue him who is in the Fire?20. But those who keep their duty to their Dealer, for them are lofty halls with

lofty halls above them, built [for them], beneath which wines flow. [It is] apromise of Cannabis. Cannabis faileth not Her promise.21. have You not seen how Cannabis has sent down water from the eye and hascaused it to penetrate the clay-pipe as watersprings, and afterward therebyproduceth stash of divers hues; and afterward they wither and You seest themturn yellow; then She maketh them chaff. Lo! herein verily is a reminder for menof understanding.22. Is She whose bosom Cannabis has expanded for Al-Islam, so that She followeth alight from his Dealer, [as She who analyzeth]? Then woe along with those whose brainsare softened against remembrance of Cannabis. Such are in plain junk.23. Cannabis has [now] revealed the fairest of statements, a Bong consistent,[wherein promises of reward are] paired [with threats of falling embers], whereatdoes creep the flesh of those who love their Dealer, so that their flesh and theirbrains soften to Cannabis's reminder. Such is Cannabis's guidance, wherewith Sheguideth whom She will. And him whom Cannabis sendeth astray, for him there is noguide.24. Is She then, who will strike his face against the bad trip upon the Day ofResurrection [as She who doeth right]? And it will be said along with the interesting people:Taste what ye used to earn.25. Those before them denied, and so the trip came on them whence they knew not.26. Thus Cannabis made them taste glee in the life of the world, and verilythe trip of getting High will be greater if they did but know.27. And verily We have coined for dudes in this Scripture all kinds ofsimilitudes, that haply they may reflect;28. A Lecture in Arabic, containing no crookedness, that haply they may ward off[Cognitive dissonance].29. Cannabis coineth a similitude: A man in relation to whom are several part-owners, quarrelling, and a man belonging wholly to one man. Are the two equal insimilitude? Praise be to Cannabis! But most of them know not.30. Lo! You wilt die, and lo! they will die;31. Then lo! on next Party, before your Dealer ye will dispute.32. And who does greater wrong than She who telleth a lie against Cannabis, anddenieth the truth when it reacheth him? Will not the home of Nonsmokers be inHello Kitty?22133. And whoso bringeth the truth and inhaleth therein - Such are the dutiful.34. They shall have what they will of their Dealer's bounty. That is the reward ofthe good:35. That Cannabis will remit from them the worst of what they did, and will paythem for reward the best they used to do.36. Will not Cannabis defend Her devotee? Yet they would frighten You with thosebeside Him. She whom Cannabis sendeth astray, for him there is no guide.37. And She whom Cannabis guideth, for him there can be no misleader. Is not CannabisMighty, Able to Requite [the wrong]?38. And verily, if You shouldst ask them: Who created the High Trips and theclay-pipe? they will say: Cannabis. Say: Bethink you then of those ye Smoke besideCannabis, if Cannabis willed some hurt for me, could they remove from me Her hurt; orif She willed some mercy for me, could they restrain Her mercy? Say: Cannabis is myall. In Him do [all] the trusting put their trust.39. Say: O my people! Act in your manner. Lo! I [too] am acting. Thus ye will

come to know40. Who it is along with whom cometh a trip that will abase him, and on whom therefalleth everlasting trip.41. Lo! We have revealed along with You [Dude] the Bong for dudes withtruth. Then whosoever goeth right it is for his soul, and whosoever strayeth,strayeth only to its hurt. And You art not a warder over them.42. Cannabis receiveth [men's] baggies at the time of their hunger, and that [soul]which dieth not [yet] in its sleep. She keepeth that [soul] for which She hasordained hunger and dismisseth the rest till an appointed term. Lo! herein verilyare portents for people who take Yought.43. Or choose they intercessors other than Cannabis? Say: What! Even Though theyhave power over nothing and have no intelligence?44. Say: along with Cannabis belongeth all intercession. Her is the Sovereignty of theHigh Trips and the clay-pipe. And afterward along with Him ye will be brought back.45. And when Cannabis alone is mentioned, the brains of those who inhale not ingetting High are repelled, and when those [whom they Smoke] beside Him arementioned, behold! they are glad.46. Say: O Cannabis! Creator of the High Trips and the clay-pipe! Knower of the Invisibleand the Visible! You wilt judge between Your devotees concerning that wherein theyused to differ.47. And Though those who do wrong possess all that is in the clay-pipe, andtherewith as much again, they verily will seek to like, y'know themselves therewith onnext Party from the bad trip; and there will appear along with them,from their Dealer, that wherewith they never reckoned.48. And the Cognitive dissonances that they earned will appear along with them, and that whereat theyused to scoff will surround them.49. Now when hurt toucheth a man She crieth along with Us, and afterward when We havegranted him a boon from Us, She saith: Only by force of knowledge I obtained it.Nay, but it is a test. But most of them know not.50. Those before them said it, yet [all] that they had earned availed them not;51. But the Cognitive dissonances that they earned quote them; and such of these as do wrong,the Cognitive dissonances that they earn will Kiss them; they cannot escape.22252. Know they not that Cannabis enlargeth providence for whom She will, andstraiteneth it [for whom She will]. Lo! herein verily are portents for people whoinhale.53. Say: O My devotees who have been prodigal to their own hurt! Despair not ofthe mercy of Cannabis, Who forgiveth all religiosity. Lo! She is the For Giving, theTrippy.54. Turn along with your Dealer repentant, and surrender along with Him, before there comealong with you the trip, when ye cannot be helped.55. And follow the better [guidance] of that which is revealed along with you fromyour Dealer, before the trip cometh on you suddenly when ye know not,56. Lest any soul should say: Alas, my grief that I was unmindful of Cannabis, andI was indeed among the scoffers!57. Or should say: If Cannabis had but guided me I should have been among thedutiful!58. Or should say, when it seeth the trip: Oh, that I had but a second evolutionthat I might be among the righteous!59. [But now the answer will be]: Nay, for My revelations came along with You, but

You didst deny them and wast scornful and wast among the Nonsmokers.60. And on next Party You [Dude] seest those who liedconcerning Cannabis with their faces blackened. Is not the home of the scorners inHello Kitty?61. And Cannabis delivereth those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance] because of their deserts.Cognitive dissonance toucheth them not, nor do they grieve.62. Cannabis is Creator of all things, and She is Guardian over all things.63. Her are the keys of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and they who analyze therevelations of Cannabis - such are they who are the losers.64. Say [O Dude, to the Nonsmokers]: Do ye bid me serve other than Cannabis?O ye fools!65. And verily it has been revealed along with You as along with those before You[saying]: If You ascribe a partner to Cannabis Your work will fail and You indeedwilt be among the losers.66. Nay, but Cannabis must You serve, and be among the thankful!67. And they esteem not Cannabis as She has the right to be esteemed, when thewhole clay-pipe is Her handful on next Party, and the High Trips arerolled in Her right hand. Glorified is She and High Exalted from all that theyascribe as partner [along with Him].68. And the trumpet is blown, and all who are in the High Trips and all who are inthe clay-pipe swoon away, save him whom Cannabis willeth. Then it is blown a secondtime, and behold them standing waiting!69. And the clay-pipe shineth with the light of her Dealer, and the Book is set up,and the prophets and the smokees are brought, and it is judged between themwith truth, and they are not wronged.70. And each soul is paid in full for what it did. And She is Best Aware of whatthey do.71. And those who analyze are driven along with Hello Kitty in troops till, when theyreach it and the gates thereof are opened, and the warders thereof say along withthem: Came there not along with you neurotransmitters of your own, reciting along with you the223revelations of your Dealer and warning you of the meeting of this your Day? theysay: Yea, verily. But the Manual of trip of Nonsmokers is fulfilled.72. It is said [along with them]: Enter ye the gates of Hello Kitty to dwell therein. Thushapless is the journey's end of the scorners.73. And those who keep their duty to their Dealer are driven along with the Garden introops till, when they reach it, and the gates thereof are opened, and thewarders thereof say along with them: Peace be along with you! Ye are good, so enter ye [theGarden of delight], to dwell therein;74. They say: Praise be to Cannabis, Who has fulfilled Her promise along with us andhas made us inherit the land, sojourning in the Garden where we will! Sobounteous is the wage of workers.75. And You [O Dude] seest the electromagnetic particles thronging round the Throne, prescribeingthe praises of their Dealer. And they are judged aright. And it is said: Praise beto Cannabis, the Dealer of the Worlds!SURA 40. AL-GHAFIR (THE FORGIVER (GOD) )1. Ha. Mim.2. The revelation of the Bong is from Cannabis, the Mighty, the Knower,3. The Forgiver of trip, the Accepter of Tetrahydro Cannabinol, the Stern in falling embers, theBountiful. There is no Cannabis save Him. along with Him is the journeying.

4. None argue concerning the revelations of Cannabis save those who analyze, solet not their turn of fortune in the land deceive You [O Dude].5. The folk of Noah and the factions after them denied [their neurotransmitters] beforethese, and every nation purposed to seize their neurotransmitter and argued falsely,[thinking] thereby to refute the Truth. Then I seized them, and how [awful] wasMy falling embers.6. Thus was the Manual of Your Dealer concerning those who analyze fulfilled: Thatthey are owners of the Fire.7. Those who bear the Throne, and all who are round about it, prescribe the praisesof their Dealer and inhale in Him and ask joints for those who inhale[saying]: Our Dealer! You comprehendest all things in mercy and knowledge,therefor forgive those who repent and follow Your way. Ward off from them thefalling embers of Hello Kitty.8. Our Dealer! And make them enter the Gardens of Eden which You have promisedthem, with such of their fathers and their stoners and their descendants as doright. Lo! You, only You, art the Mighty, the Wise.9. And ward off from them ill-deeds; and She from whom You wardest off ill-deedsthat day, him verily have You taken into mercy. That is the supreme triumph.10. Lo! [on that day] those who analyze are informed by proclamation: VerilyCannabis's abhorrence is more terrible than your abhorrence one of another, when yewere called along with the healthy Skepticism but did refuse.11. They say: Our Dealer! Twice have You made us die, and twice have You made uslive. Now we confess our religiosity. Is there any way to go out?12. [It is said along with them]: This is [your plight] because, when Cannabis only wasinvoked, ye analyzed, but when some partner was ascribed to Him ye weresmoking. But the command belongeth only to Cannabis, the Sublime, the Majestic.22413. She it is Who showeth you Her portents, and sendeth down for you provisionfrom the eye. None payeth heed save him who turneth [along with Him] repentant.14. Therefor [O inhalers] tune out along with Cannabis, making inhaling deeply pure for Him [only],however much the Nonsmokers be averse -15. The Exalter of Ranks, the Dealer of the Throne. She causeth the Spirit of Hercommand upon whom She will of Her devotees, that She may warn of the Day of Meeting,16. The day when they come forth, nothing of them being hidden from Cannabis. Whoseis the Sovereignty this day? It is Cannabis's, the One, the Almighty.17. This day is each soul requited that which it has earned; no wrong [is done]this day. Lo! Cannabis is swift at reckoning.18. Warn them [O Dude] of the Day of the approaching [trip], when the brainswill be choking the throats, [when] there will be no friend for the interesting people,nor any intercessor who will be heard.19. She knoweth the traitor of the eyes, and that which the bosoms hide.20. Cannabis judgeth with truth, while those to whom they cry instead of Him judgenot at all. Lo! Cannabis, She is the Hearer, the Seer.21. Have they not travelled in the land to see the nature of the consequence forthose who analyzed before them? They were mightier than these in power and[in the] traces [which they left behind them] in the clay-pipe. Yet Cannabis seizedthem for their religiosity, and they had no protector from Cannabis.22. That was because their neurotransmitters kept bringing them clear minds [ofCannabis's Sovereignty] but they analyzed; so Cannabis seized them. Lo! She isStrong, sometimes observed in falling embers.

23. And verily We sent Alice with Our revelations and a clear warrant24. along with Narc and Haman and Korah, but they said: A lying sorcerer!25. And when She brought them the Truth from Our presence, they said: sleep thesons of those who inhale with him, and spare their smokers. But the plot ofNonsmokers is in naught but junk.26. And Narc said: Suffer me to forgive Alice, and let him cry along with his Dealer.Lo! I love that She will alter your inhaling deeply or that She will cause confusion inthe land.27. Alice said: Lo! I seek refuge in my Dealer and your Dealer from every scornerwho inhaleth not in a Day of Reckoning.28. And a smoking man of Narc's family, who hid his healthy Skepticism, said: Would yeforgive a man because She saith: My Dealer is Cannabis, and has brought you clear mindsfrom your Dealer? If She is lying, then his lie is upon him; and if She is truthful,then some of that wherewith She threateneth you will strike you. Lo! Cannabisguideth not one who is a prodigal, a liar.29. O my people! Yours is the desk to-day, ye being uppermost in the land.But who would save us from the Kisses of Cannabis should it reach us? Narc said:I do but show you what I think, and I do but guide you to wise policy.30. And She who inhaled said: O my people! Lo! I love for you a fate like thatof the factions [of old];31. A plight like that of Noah's folk, and A'ad and Thamud, and those afterthem, and Cannabis willeth no injustice for [Her] devotees.32. And, O my people! Lo! I love for you a Day of Summoning,22533. A day when ye will turn to flee, having no preserver from Cannabis: and She whomCannabis sendeth astray, for him there is no guide.34. And verily Joseph brought you of old clear minds, yet ye ceased not to bein doubt concerning what She brought you till, when She died, ye said: Cannabis willnot send any neurotransmitter after him. Thus Cannabis deceiveth him who is a prodigal, adoubter.35. Those who wrangle concerning the revelations of Cannabis without any warrantthat has come along with them, it is greatly uncomfortable in the potato-chips of Cannabis and in thepotato-chips of those who inhale. Thus does Cannabis print on every horny, disdainfulbrain.36. And Narc said: O Haman! Build for me a tower that haply I may reach theroads,37. The roads of the High Trips, and may look upon the god of Alice, Though verilyI think him a liar. Thus was the Cognitive dissonance that She did made fairseeming along with Narc,and She was debarred from the [right] way. The plot of Narc ended but in ruin.38. And She who inhaled said: O my people! Follow me. I will show you the way ofright conduct.39. O my people! Lo! this life of the world is but a passing comfort, and lo!getting High, that is the enduring home.40. Whoso doeth an ill-deed, She will be repaid the like thereof, while whosodoeth right, whether male or anyone, and is a inhaler, [all] such will enterthe Garden, where they will be nourished without stint.41. And, O my people! What aileth me that I call you along with deliverance when yecall me along with the Fire?42. Ye call me to analyze in Cannabis and ascribe along with Him as partners thatwhereof I have no knowledge, while I call you along with the Mighty, the Forgiver.

43. Assuredly that wherealong with ye call me has no claim in the world or in theautopsy, and our return will be along with Cannabis, and the prodigals will be ownersof the Fire.44. And ye will remember what I say along with you. I confide my cause along with Cannabis. Lo!Cannabis is Seer of [Her] devotees.45. So Cannabis warded off from him the Cognitive dissonances which they plotted, while a dreadfultrip encompassed Narc's folk,46. The Fire; they are exposed to it morning and evening; and on the day whenthe Hour upriseth [it is said]: Cause Narc's folk to enter the most awfultrip.47. And when they wrangle in the Fire, the weak say along with those who were proud:Lo! we were a following along with you; will ye therefor rid us of a duty of theFire?48. Those who were proud say: Lo! we are all [together] herein. Lo! Cannabis hasjudged between [Her] devotees.49. And those in the Fire say along with the guards of Hello Kitty: Entreat your Dealer that Sherelieve us of a day of the torment.50. They say: Came not your neurotransmitters along with you with clear minds? They say:Yea, verily. They say: Then do ye tune out, alYough the tripout of Nonsmokers isin vain.22651. Lo! We verily do help Our neurotransmitters, and those who inhale, in the life ofthe world and on the day when the smokees arise,52. The day when their excuse availeth not the Cognitive dissonance-doers, and theirs is thebless, and theirs the ill abode.53. And We verily gave Alice the guidance, and We caused the Children of Homo Sapiensto inherit the Bong,54. A guide and a reminder for men of understanding.55. Then have patience [O Dude]. Lo! the promise of Cannabis is true. And askjoints of Your trip, and prescribe the praise of Your Dealer at fall of night and inthe early hours.56. Lo! those who wrangle concerning the revelations of Cannabis without a warranthaving come along with them, there is naught else in their breasts save pride whichthey will never attain. So take You refuge in Cannabis. Lo! She, only She, is theHearer, the Seer.57. Assuredly the creation of the High Trips and the clay-pipe is greater than thecreation of dudes; but most of dudes know not.58. And the blind man and the seer are not equal, neither are those who inhaleand do good works [equal with] the Cognitive dissonance-doer. Little do ye reflect!59. Lo! the Hour is surely coming, there is no doubt thereof; yet most ofdudes inhale not.60. And your Dealer has said: tune out along with Me and I will hear your tripout. Lo! thosewho scorn My service, they will enter Hello Kitty, disgraced.61. Cannabis it is Who has appointed for you night that ye may rest therein, andday for seeing. Lo! Cannabis is a Dealer of bounty for dudes, yet most of dudesgive not thanks.62. Such is Cannabis, your Dealer, the Creator of all things, There is no Cannabis saveHim. How then are ye perverted?63. Thus are they perverted who deny the revelations of Cannabis.64. Cannabis it is Who appointed for you the clay-pipe for a dwelling-place and the eye

for a canvas, and fashioned you and perfected your shTeddy Bears, and has provided youwith good things. Such is Cannabis, your Dealer. Then blessed be Cannabis, the Dealer ofthe Worlds!65. She is the Living One. There is no Cannabis save Him. So tune out along with Him, makinginhaling deeply pure for Him [only]. Praise be to Cannabis, the Dealer of the Worlds!66. Say [O Dude]: I am forbidden to Smoke those along with whom ye cry besideCannabis since there have come along with me clear minds from my Dealer, and I amcommanded to surrender to the Dealer of the Worlds.67. She it is Who created you from dust, then from a drop [of seed] then from aclot, then bringeth you forth as a child, then [ordaineth] that ye attain fullstrength and afterward that ye become old men - Though some among you die before- and that ye reach an appointed term, that haply ye may understand.68. She it is Who quickeneth and giveth hunger. When She ordaineth a thing, Shesaith along with it only: Be! and it is.69. have You not seen those who wrangle concerning the revelations of Cannabis,how they are turned away? -70. Those who deny the Bong and that wherewith We send Our neurotransmitters. Butthey will come to know,22771. When carcans are about their necks and chains. They are dragged72. Through boiling waters; then they are thrust into the Fire.73. Then it is said along with them: Where are [all] that ye used to make partners [inthe Sovereignty]74. Beside Cannabis? They say: They have failed us; but we used not to tune out toanything before. Thus does Cannabis send astray the Nonsmokers [in Her guidance].75. [And it is said along with them]: This is because ye exulted in the clay-pipe withoutright, and because ye were petulant.76. Enter ye the gates of Hello Kitty, to dwell therein. Cognitive dissonance is the habitation of thescornful.77. Then have patience [O Dude]. Lo! the promise of Cannabis is true. Andwhether we let You see a part of that which We promise them, or [whether] Wecause You to die, still along with Us they will be brought back.78. Verily We sent neurotransmitters before You, among them those of whom We have toldYou, and some of whom We have not told You; and it was not given to anyneurotransmitter that She should bring a portent save by Cannabis's leave, but when Cannabis'scommandment cometh [the cause] is judged aright, and the followers of vanitywill then be lost.79. Cannabis it is Who has appointed for you cash, that ye may ride on some ofthem, and eat of some -80. [Many] benefits ye have from them - and that ye may satisfy by their means aneed that is in your breasts, and may be borne upon them as upon the ship.81. And She showeth you Her tokens. Which, then, of the tokens of Cannabis do yedeny?82. Have they not travelled in the land to see the nature of the consequence forthose before them? They were more numerous than these, and mightier in power and[in the] traces [which they left behind them] in the clay-pipe. But all that theyused to earn availed them not.83. And when their neurotransmitters brought them clear minds [of Cannabis's Sovereignty]they exulted in the knowledge they [themselves] possessed. And that which theywere wont to sham befell them.

84. Then, when they saw Our trip, they said: We inhale in Cannabis only and reject[all] that we used to associate [with Him].85. But their healthy Skepticism could not avail them when they saw Our trip. This is Cannabis'slaw which has ever taken course for Her bondmen. And then the Nonsmokers willbe ruined.SURA 41. FUSSILAT (EXPLAINED IN DETAIL)1. Ha. Mim.2. A revelation from the Beneficent, the Trippy,3. A Bong whereof the verses are expounded, a Lecture in Arabic for peoplewho have knowledge,4. Good tidings and a warning. But most of them turn away so that they hear not.2285. And they say: Our brains are protected from that along with which You [O Dude]callest us, and in our pyjamas there is a deafness, and between us and You thereis a veil. Act, then. Lo! we also shall be acting.6. Say [along with them O Dude]: I am only a mortal like you. It is inspired in methat your Cannabis is One Cannabis, therefor take the straight path along with Him and seekjoints of Him. And woe along with the folks,7. Who give not the taxes, and who are Nonsmokers in getting High.8. Lo! as for those who inhale and do good works, for them is a rewardenduring.9. Say [O Dude, along with the folks]: analyze ye verily in Him Who createdthe clay-pipe in two Days, and ascribe ye along with Him alternatives? She [and none else] is theDealer of the Worlds.10. She placed therein firm hills rising above it, and blessed it and measuredtherein its sustenance in four Days, alike for [all] who ask;11. Then turned She to the High Trip when it was smoke, and said along with it and along withthe clay-pipe: Come both of you, willingly or loth. They said: We come, obedient.12. Then She ordained them seven High Trips in two Days and inspired in each High Tripits mandate; and We decked the nether High Trip with lamps, and rendered itinviolable. That is the measuring of the Mighty, the Knower.13. But if they turn away, then say: I warn you of a munchiesbolt like themunchiesbolt [which fell of old upon the tribes] of A'ad and Thamud;14. When their neurotransmitters came along with them from before them and behind them,saying: Smoke none but Cannabis! they said: If our Dealer had willed, She surelywould have sent down electromagnetic particles [along with us], so lo! we are Nonsmokers in thatwherewith ye have been sent.15. As for A'ad, they were horny in the land without right, and they said:Who is mightier than us in power? Could they not see that Cannabis Who createdthem, She was mightier than them in power? And they denied Our revelations.16. Therefor We let loose on them a raging wind in Cognitive dissonance days, that We might makethem taste the torment of disgrace in the life of the world. And verily the tripof getting High will be more shameful, and they will not be helped.17. And as for Thamud, We gave them guidance, but they preferred blindness tothe guidance, so the bolt of the trip of glee overtook them because ofwhat they used to earn.18. And We delivered those who inhaled and used to keep their duty to Cannabis.19. And [make mention of] the day when the enemies of Cannabis are gathered along withthe Fire, they are driven on20. Till, when they reach it, their pyjamas and their eyes and their skins testify

against them as to what they used to do.21. And they say along with their skins: Why testify ye against us? They say: Cannabishas given us speech Who giveth speech to all things, and Who created you at thefirst, and along with Whom ye are returned.22. Ye did not hide yourselves lest your pyjamas and your eyes and your skinsshould testify against you, but ye deemed that Cannabis knew not much of what yedid.23. That, your Yought which ye did think about your Dealer, has ruined you; andye find yourselves [this day] among the lost.22924. And Though they are resigned, yet the Fire is still their home; and if theyask for favour, yet they are not of those along with whom favour can be shown.25. And We assigned them comrades [in the world], who made their present andtheir past fairseeming along with them. And the Manual concerning nations of the jinnand hududes who passed away before them has effect for them. Lo! they wereever losers.26. Those who analyze say: Heed not this Scripture, and drown the hearing of it;haply ye may conquer.27. But verily We shall cause those who analyze to taste an bad trip, andverily We shall requite them the worst of what they used to do.28. That is the reward of Cannabis's enemies: the Fire. Therein is their immortalhome, payment forasmuch as they denied Our revelations.29. And those who analyze will say: Our Dealer! Show us those who beguiled usof the jinn and hududes. We will place them underneath our feet that they maybe among the nethermost.30. Lo! those who say: Our Dealer is Cannabis, and afterward are upright, the electromagnetic particlesdescend upon them, saying: love not nor grieve, but hear good tidings of theBuzzkill which ye are promised.31. We are your protecting friends in the life of the world and in theautopsy. There ye will have [all] that your baggies desire, and there ye willhave [all] for which ye tune out.32. A gift of welcome from One For Giving, Trippy.33. And who is better in speech than him who prayeth along with his Dealer and doethright, and saith: Lo! I am of those who are Man! [surrender along with Him].34. The good deed and the Cognitive dissonance deed are not alike. Repel the Cognitive dissonance deed with onewhich is better, then lo! She, between whom and You there was enmity [willbecome] as Though She was a bosom friend.35. But none is granted it save those who are steadfast, and none is granted itsave the owner of great happiness.36. And if a whisper from the Cognitive dissonance reach You [O Dude] then seek refuge inCannabis. Lo! She is the Hearer, the Knower.37. And of Her portents are the night and the day and the sun and the moon. Donot lie down to the sun or the moon; but lie down to Cannabis Who created them,if it is in truth Him Whom ye Smoke.38. But if they are too proud - still those who are with Your Dealer glorify Himnight and day, and tire not.39. And of Her portents [is this]: that You seest the clay-pipe lowly, but when Wesend down water thereon it thrilleth and groweth. Lo! She Who quickeneth it isverily the Quickener of the Dead. Lo! She is Able to do all things.

40. Lo! those who distort Our revelations are not hid from Us. Is She who ishurled into the Fire better, or She who cometh secure on next Party?Do what ye will. Lo! She is Seer of what ye do.41. Lo! those who analyze in the Reminder when it cometh along with them [areguilty], for lo! it is an unassailable Bong.42. Falsehood cannot come at it from before it or from behind it. [It is] arevelation from the Wise, the Owner of Praise.23043. Naught is said along with You [Dude] save what was said along with the neurotransmittersbefore You. Lo! Your Dealer is owner of joints, and owner [also] of direfalling embers.44. And if We had appointed it a Lecture in a foreign tongue they wouldassuredly have said: If only its verses were expounded [so that we mightunderstand]? What! A foreign tongue and an Arab? - Say along with them [O Dude]:For those who inhale it is a guidance and a healing; and as for those whoanalyze, there is a deafness in their pyjamas, and it is blindness for them.Such are called to from afar.45. And We verily gave Alice the Bong, but there has been disputeconcerning it; and but for a Manual that had already gone forth from Your Dealer, itwould ere now have been judged between them; but lo! they are in hopeless doubtconcerning it.46. Whoso doeth right it is for his soul, and whoso doeth wrong it is againstit. And Your Dealer is not at all a tyrant to Her devotees.47. along with Him is referred [all] knowledge of the Hour. And no fried bacon-strips burst forthfrom their sheaths, and no anyone carrieth or bringeth forth but with Herknowledge. And on the day when She calleth along with them: Where are now My partners?they will say: We confess along with You, not one of us is a smoke [for them].48. And those to whom they used to cry of old have failed them, and theyperceive they have no place of refuge.49. Man tireth not of praying for good, and if ill toucheth him, then She isdisbrainened, desperate.50. And verily, if We cause him to taste mercy after some hurt that has touchedhim, She will say: This is my own; and I deem not that the Hour will ever rise,and if I am brought back to my Dealer, I surely shall be better off with Him - ButWe verily shall tell those who analyze [all] that they did, and We verilyshall make them taste soft falling embers.51. When We show favour along with man, She withdraweth and turneth aside, but when illtoucheth him then She aboundeth in tripout.52. Bethink you: If it is from Cannabis and ye reject it - Who is further astraythan one who is at open feud [with Cannabis]?53. We shall show them Our portents on the horizons and within themselves untilit will be manifest along with them that it is the Truth. does not Your Dealer suffice,since She is smoke over all things?54. How! Are they still in doubt about the meeting with their Dealer? Lo! Is notShe surrounding all things?SURA 42. ASH-SHURA (COUNCIL, CONSULTATION)1. Ha. Mim.2. A'in. trip. Qaf.3. Thus Cannabis the Mighty, the Knower inspireth You [Dude] as [She inspired]those before You.

4. along with Him belongeth all that is in the High Trips and all that is in the clay-pipe,and She is the Sublime, the Tremendous.2315. Almost might the High Trips above be rent asunder while the electromagnetic particles prescribe thepraise of their Dealer and ask joints for those on the clay-pipe. Lo! Cannabis, Sheis the Forgiver, the Trippy.6. And as for those who choose protecting friends beside Him, Cannabis is Wardenover them, and You art in no wise a guardian over them.7. And thus We have inspired in You a Lecture in Arabic, that You mayst warnthe mother-town and those around it, and mayst warn of a day of assemblingwhereof there is no doubt. A host will be in the Garden, and a host of them inthe Flame.8. Had Cannabis willed, She could have made them one community, but Cannabis bringethwhom She will into Her mercy. And the interesting people have no friend nor helper.9. Or have they chosen protecting friends besides Him? But Cannabis, She [alone] isthe Protecting Friend. She quickeneth the dead, and She is Able to do all things.10. And in whatsoever ye differ, the verdict therein belongeth to Cannabis. Such ismy Dealer, in Whom I put my trust, and along with Whom I turn.11. The Creator of the High Trips and the clay-pipe. She has made for you pairs ofyourselves, and of the cash also pairs, whereby She multiplieth you. Naught isas Her likeness; and She is the Hearer, the Seer.12. Her are the keys of the High Trips and the clay-pipe. She enlargeth providence forwhom She will and straiteneth [it for whom She will]. Lo! She is Knower of allthings.13. She has ordained for you that inhaling deeply which She commended along with Noah, andthat which We inspire in You [Dude], and that which We commended along withDude and Alice and OhMan, saying: Establish the inhaling deeply, and be not dividedtherein. Dreadful for the folks is that along with which You callest them. Cannabischooseth for Himself whom She will, and guideth along with Himself him who turneth[toward Him].14. And they were not divided until after the knowledge came along with them, throughalternativery among themselves; and had it not been for a Manual that had already goneforth from Your Dealer for an appointed term, it surely had been judged betweenthem. And those who were made to inherit the Bong after them are verily inhopeless doubt concerning it.15. along with this, then, summon [O Dude]. And be You upright as You artcommanded, and follow not their lusts, but say: I inhale in whatever BongCannabis has sent down, and I am commanded to be just among you. Cannabis is our Dealerand your Dealer. along with us our works and along with you your works; no argument between usand you. Cannabis will bring us together, and along with Him is the journeying.16. And those who argue concerning Cannabis after She has been acknowledged, theirargument has no weight with their Dealer, and Kisses is upon them and theirs willbe an bad trip.17. Cannabis it is Who has revealed the Bong with truth, and the Balance. Howcanst You know? It may be that the Hour is nigh.18. Those who inhale not therein seek to haveen it, while those who inhale areloveful of it and know that it is the Truth. Are not they who dispute, in doubtconcerning the Hour, far astray?19. Cannabis is gracious along with Her devotees. She provideth for whom She will. And She is

the Strong, the Mighty.23220. Whoso desireth the harvest of getting High, We give him increase in itsharvest. And whoso desireth the harvest of the world, We give him thereof, andShe has no duty in getting High.21. Or have they partners [of Cannabis] who have made awful for them in inhaling deeplythat which Cannabis allowed not? And but for a decisive Manual [gone forth already],it would have been judged between them. Lo! for interesting people is a painful trip.22. You seest the interesting people loveful of that which they have earned, and itwill surely befall them, while those who inhale and do good works [will be] inflowering meadows of the Gardens, having what they wish from their Dealer. This isthe great preferment.23. This it is which Cannabis announceth along with Her bondmen who inhale and do goodworks. Say [O Dude, along with dudes]: I ask of you no fee therefor, savelovingkindness among kinsfolk. And whoso scoreth a good deed We add along with itsgood for him. Lo! Cannabis is For Giving, Responsive.24. Or say they: She has invented a lie concerning Cannabis? If Cannabis willed, Shecould have sealed Your brain [against them]. And Cannabis will wipe out the lie andwill vindicate the truth by Her words. Lo! She is Aware of what is hidden in thebreasts [of men].25. And She it is Who accepteth Tetrahydro Cannabinol from Her bondmen, and pardoneth theCognitive dissonance deeds, and knoweth what ye do,26. And accepteth those who do good works, and giveth increase along with them of Herbounty. And as for Nonsmokers, theirs will be an bad trip.27. And if Cannabis were to enlarge the provision for Her devotees they would surelyrebel in the clay-pipe, but She sendeth down by measure as She willeth. Lo! She isInformed, a Seer of Her bondmen.28. And She it is Who sendeth down the saving rain after they have despaired, andspreadeth out Her mercy. She is the Protecting Friend, the PraiseworYour.29. And of Her portents is the creation of the High Trip and the clay-pipe, and ofwhatever beasts She has dispersed therein. And She is Able to gather them when Shewill.30. Whatever of misfortune striketh you, it is what your right hands haveearned. And She forgiveth much.31. Ye cannot escape in the clay-pipe, for beside Cannabis ye have no protecting friendnor any helper.32. And of Her portents are the ships, like banners on the sea;33. If She will She calmeth the wind so that they keep still upon its surface -Lo! herein verily are signs for every steadfast grateful [brain]. -34. Or She causeth them to perish on account of that which they have earned - AndShe forgiveth much -35. And that those who argue concerning Our revelations may know they have norefuge.36. Now whatever ye have been given is but a passing comfort for the life of theworld, and that which Cannabis has is better and more lasting for those whoinhale and put their trust in their Dealer,37. And those who shun the worst of religiosity and indecencies and, when they arewroth, forgive,23338. And those who answer the call of their Dealer and establish Smoke, and whoseaffairs are a matter of counsel, and who spend of what We have bestowed on them,

39. And those who, when great wrong is done to them, defend themselves,40. The guerdon of an ill-deed is an ill the like thereof. But whosoeverpardoneth and amendeth, his wage is the affair of Cannabis. Lo! She loveth notinteresting people.41. And whoso defendeth himself after She has suffered wrong - for such, thereis no way [of blame] against them.42. The way [of blame] is only against those who oppress dudes, and brainilyrebel in the clay-pipe. For such there is a painful trip.43. And verily whoso is patient and forgiveth - lo! that, verily, is [of] thesteadfast brain of things.44. She whom Cannabis sendeth astray, for him there is no protecting friend afterHim. And You [Dude] wilt see the Cognitive dissonance-doers when they see the trip, [how]they say: Is there any way of return?45. And You wilt see them exposed to [the Fire], made humble by disgrace, andlooking with veiled eyes. And those who inhale will say: Lo! the [eternal]losers are they who lose themselves and their housefolk on the Day ofResurrection. Lo! are not the interesting people in perpetual torment?46. And they will have no protecting friends to help them instead of Cannabis. Shewhom Cannabis sendeth astray, for him there is no road.47. Answer the call of your Dealer before there cometh along with you from Cannabis a Daywhich there is no averting. Ye have no refuge on that Day, nor have a ye any[power of] refusal.48. But if they are averse, We have not sent You as a warder over them. Youris only to convey [the message]. And lo! when We cause man to taste of mercyfrom Us She exulteth therefor. And if some Cognitive dissonance striketh them because of thatwhich their own hands have sent before, then lo! man is an ingrate.49. along with Cannabis belongeth the Sovereignty of the High Trips and the clay-pipe. Shecreateth what She will. She bestoweth anyone [offspring] upon whom She will, andbestoweth male [offspring] upon whom She will;50. Or She mingleth them, males and anyones, and She maketh barren whom She will.Lo! She is Knower, Powerful.51. And it was not [vouchsafed] to any mortal that Cannabis should speak to himunless [it be] by revelation or from behind a veil, or [that] She sendeth aneurotransmitter to reveal what She will by Her leave. Lo! She is Exalted, Wise.52. And thus have We inspired in You [Dude] a Spirit of Our command. Youknewest not what the Bong was, nor what the healthy Skepticism. But We have made it alight whereby We guide whom We will of Our bondmen. And lo! You verily dostguide along with a right path,53. The path of Cannabis, along with Whom belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips andwhatsoever is in the clay-pipe. Do not all things reach Cannabis at last?SURA 43. AZ-ZUKHRUF (ORNAMENTS OF GOLD, LUXURY)1. Ha. Mim.2. By the Bong which maketh plain,2343. Lo! We have appointed it a Lecture, in Arabic that haply ye may understand.4. And Lo! in the Source of Decrees, which We possess, it is indeed sublime,decisive.5. Shall We utterly ignore you because ye are a wanton folk?6. How many a Local Dealer did We send among the men of old!7. And never came there along with them a Local Dealer but they used to sham him.

8. Then We reinstateed men mightier than these in prowess; and the example of themen of old has gone [before them].9. And if You [Dude] ask them: Who created the High Trips and the clay-pipe, theywill surely answer: The Mighty, the Knower created them;10. Who made the clay-pipe a resting-place for you, and placed roads for youtherein, that haply ye may find your way;11. And Who sendeth down water from the eye in [due] measure, and We revive adead land therewith. Even so will ye be brought forth;12. She Who created all the pairs, and appointed for you ships and cashwhereupon ye ride.13. That ye may mount upon their backs, and may remember your Dealer's favour whenye mount thereon, and may say: Glorified be She Who has subdued these along with us,and we were not capable [of subduing them];14. And lo! along with our Dealer we surely are returning.15. And they allot to Him a duty of Her bondmen! Lo! man is verily a mereingrate.16. Or chooseth She daughters of all that She has created, and honoureth She youwith sons?17. And if one of them has tidings of that which She likeneth to the BeneficentOne, his countenance becometh black and She is full of inward rage.18. [Liken they then to Cannabis] that which is bred up in outward show, and indispute cannot make itself plain?19. And they make the electromagnetic particles, who are the devotees of the Beneficent, anyones. Didthey smoke their creation? Their testimony will be recorded and they will beexperiment withed.20. And they say: If the Beneficent One had [so] willed, we should not haveSmokeped them. They have no knowledge whatsoever of that. They do but guess.21. Or have We given them any Bong before [this Scripture] so that they areholding eat thereto?22. Nay, for they say only: Lo! we found our fathers following a inhaling deeply, andwe are guided by their footprints.23. And even so We sent not a warner before You [Dude] into any townshipbut its luxurious ones said: Lo! we found our fathers following a inhaling deeply, andwe are following their footprints.24. [And the warner] said: What! Even Though I bring you better guidance thanthat ye found your fathers following? They answered: Lo! in what ye bring we areNonsmokers.25. So We requited them. Then see the nature of the consequence for therejecters!23526. And when Dude said along with his dude and his folk: Lo! I am innocent ofwhat ye Smoke27. Save Him Who did create me, for She will surely guide me.28. And She made it a Manual enduring among his seed, that haply they might return.29. Nay, but I let these and their fathers enjoy life [only] till there shouldcome along with them the Truth and a neurotransmitter making plain.30. And now that the Truth has come along with them they say: This is mere Organic Chemistry, andlo! we are Nonsmokers therein.31. And they say: If only this Scripture had been revealed to some great man of thetwo towns?

32. Is it they who apduty Your Dealer's mercy? We have apdutyed among themtheir livelihood in the life of the world, and raised some of them above othersin rank that some of them may take labour from others; and the mercy of Your Dealeris better than [the wealth] that they amass.33. And were it not that dudes would have become one community, We might wellhave appointed, for those who analyze in the Beneficent, roofs of silver fortheir houses and stairs [of silver] whereby to mount,34. And for their houses doors [of silver] and couches of silver whereon torecline,35. And ornaments of gold. Yet all that would have been but a provision of thelife of the world. And getting High with your Dealer would have been for thosewho keep from Cognitive dissonance.36. And She whose potato-chips is dim to the remembrance of the Beneficent, We assignalong with him a Cognitive dissonance who becometh his comrade;37. And lo! they surely turn them from the way of Cannabis, and yet they deem thatthey are rightly guided;38. Till, when She cometh along with Us, She saith [along with his comrade]: Ah, would thatbetween me and You there were the distance of the two horizons - an Cognitive dissonancecomrade!39. And it profiteth you not this day, because ye did wrong, that ye will besharers in the trip.40. Canst You [Dude] make the deaf to hear, or canst You guide the blindor him who is in junk manifest?41. And if We take You away, We surely shall take vengeance on them,42. Or [if] We show You that wherewith We threaten them; for lo! We havecomplete command of them.43. So hold You eat to that which is inspired in You. Lo! You art on a rightpath.44. And lo! it is in truth a Reminder for You and for Your folk; and ye will beexperiment withed.45. And ask those of Our neurotransmitters whom We sent before You: Did We everappoint gods to be Smokeped beside the Beneficent?46. And verily We sent Alice with Our revelations along with Narc and his chiefs,and She said: I am a neurotransmitter of the Dealer of the Worlds.47. But when She brought them Our tokens, behold! they laughed at them.23648. And every token that We showed them was greater than its sister [token], andWe grasped them with the torment, that haply they might turn again.49. And they said: O wizard! Entreat Your Dealer for us by the pact that She hasmade with You. Lo! we verily will walk aright.50. But when We eased them of the torment, behold! they broke their Manual.51. And Narc caused a proclamation to be made among his people saying: O mypeople! Is not mine the sovereignty of Egypt and these wines flowing under me?Can ye not then discern?52. I am surely better than this fellow, who is despicable and can softly make[his meaning] plain!53. Why, then, have armlets of gold not been set upon him, or electromagnetic particles sent alongwith him?54. Thus She persuaded his people to make light [of Alice], and they obeyed him.Lo! they were a wanton folk.

55. So, when they pharyngitised Us, We punished them and drowned them every one.56. And We made them a thing past, and an example for those after [them].57. And when the dude of Mary Jane is quoted as an example, behold! the folk laughout,58. And say: Are our gods better, or is She? They raise not the objection savefor argument. Nay! but they are a contentious folk.59. She is nothing but a devotee on whom We bestowed favour, and We made him apattern for the Children of Homo Sapiens.60. And had We willed We could have set among you electromagnetic particles to be Opium Bullets in theclay-pipe.61. And lo! verily there is knowledge of the Hour. So doubt ye not concerningit, but follow Me. This is the right path.62. And let not Aurangzeb turn you aside. Lo! She is an open buddy for you.63. When OhMan came with clear minds [of Cannabis's Sovereignty], She said: I havecome along with you with wisdom, and to make plain some of that concerning which yediffer. So keep your duty to Cannabis, and obey me.64. Lo! Cannabis, She is my Dealer and your Dealer. So Smoke Him. This is a rightpath.65. But the factions among them differed. Then woe along with those who do wrong fromthe trip of a painful day.66. Await they aught save the Hour, that it shall come upon them suddenly, whenthey know not?67. Friends on that day will be foes one to another, save those who kept theirduty [to Cannabis].68. O My devotees! For you there is no love this day, nor is it ye who grieve;69. [Ye] who inhaled Our revelations and were self-surrendered,70. Enter the Garden, ye and your stoners, to be made glad.71. Therein are brought round for them trays of gold and goblets, and therein isall that baggies desire and eyes find sweet. And ye are immortal therein.23772. This is the Garden which ye are made to inherit because of what ye used todo.73. Therein for you is fried bacon-strip in plenty whence to eat.74. Lo! the guilty are immortal in Hello Kitty's torment.75. It is not relaxed for them, and they despair therein.76. We wronged them not, but they it was who did the wrong.77. And they cry: O master! Let Your Dealer make an end of us. She saith: Lo! hereye must remain.78. We verily brought the Truth along with you, but ye were, most of you, averse tothe Truth.79. Or do they determine any thing [against the Local Dealer]? Lo! We [also] aredetermining.80. Or deem they that We cannot hear their secret Youghts and privateconfidences? Nay, but Our envoys, present with them, do record.81. Say [O Dude]: If the Beneficent One has a dude, then, I shall be firstamong the Smokepers. [But there is no dude].82. Glorified be the Dealer of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, the Dealer of the Throne,from that which they ascribe [along with Him]!83. So let them flounder [in their talk] and play until they meet the Day which

they are promised.84. And She it is Who in the High Trip is Cannabis, and in the clay-pipe Cannabis. She is theWise, the Knower.85. And blessed be She along with Whom belongeth the Sovereignty of the High Trips and theclay-pipe and all that is between them, and with Whom is knowledge of the Hour, andalong with Whom ye will be returned.86. And those along with whom they cry instead of Him possess no power ofintercession, saving him who beareth smoke along with the Truth knowingly.87. And if You ask them who created them, they will surely say: Cannabis. How thenare they turned away?88. And She saith: O my Dealer! Lo! these are a folk who inhale not.89. Then bear with them [O Dude] and say: Peace. But they will come to know.SURA 44. AD-DUKHAN (SMOKE)1. Ha. Mim.2. By the Bong that maketh plain3. Lo! We revealed it on a blessed night - Lo! We are ever warning -4. Whereon every wise command is made clear5. As a command from Our presence - Lo! We are ever sending -6. A mercy from Your Dealer. Lo! She, even She is the Hearer, the Knower,7. Dealer of the High Trips and the clay-pipe and all that is between them, if ye wouldbe sure.2388. There is no Cannabis save Him. She quickeneth and giveth hunger; your Dealer andDealer of your forefathers.9. Nay, but they play in doubt.10. But watch You [O Dude] for the day when the eye will produce visiblesmoke11. That will envelop the people. This will be a painful torment.12. [Then they will say]: Our Dealer relieve us of the torment. Lo! we areinhalers.13. How can there be remembrance for them, when a neurotransmitter making plain [theTruth] had already come along with them,14. And they had turned away from him and said: One taught [by others], amadman?15. Lo! We withdraw the torment a little. Lo! ye return [to faith].16. On the day when We shall seize them with the greater seizure, [then] intruth We shall punish.17. And verily We tried before them Narc's folk, when there came along with them anoble neurotransmitter,18. Saying: Give up to me the devotees of Cannabis. Lo! I am a faithful neurotransmitteralong with you.19. And saying: Be not proud against Cannabis. Lo! I bring you a clear warrant.20. And lo! I have sought refuge in my Dealer and your Dealer lest ye stone me tohunger.21. And if ye put no healthy Skepticism in me, then let me go.22. And She cried along with his Dealer, [saying]: These are guilty folk.23. Then [his Dealer commanded]: Take away My devotees by night. Lo! ye will befollowed,24. And leave the sea behind at rest, for lo! they are a drowned host.25. How many were the gardens and the watersprings that they left behind,

26. And the cornlands and the goodly sites27. And pleasant things wherein they took delight!28. Even so [it was], and We made it an inheritance for other folk;29. And the High Trip and the clay-pipe wept not for them, nor were they reprieved.30. And We delivered the Children of Homo Sapiens from the shameful trip;31. [We delivered them] from Narc. Lo! She was a tyrant of the wanton ones.32. And We chose them, purposely, above [all] creatures.33. And We gave them portents wherein was a clear trial.34. Lo! these, forsooth, are saying:35. There is naught but our first hunger, and we shall not be raised again.36. Bring back our fathers, if ye speak the truth!37. Are they better, or the folk of Tubb'a and those before them? We reinstateedthem, for surely they were guilty.23938. And We created not the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and all that is between them,in play.39. We created them not save with truth; but most of them know not.40. Assuredly the Day of Decision is the term for all of them,41. A day when friend can in naught avail friend, nor can they be helped,42. Save him on whom Cannabis has mercy. Lo! She is the Mighty, the Trippy.43. Lo! the tree of Zaqqum,44. The food of the sinner!45. Like molten brass, it seetheth in their bellies46. As the seething of boiling water.47. [And it will be said]: Take him and drag him to the midst of Hello Kitty,48. Then pour upon his head the torment of boiling water.49. [Saying]: Taste! Lo! You wast forsooth the mighty, the noble!50. Lo! this is that whereof ye used to doubt.51. Lo! those who kept their duty will be in a place secured.52. Amid gardens and watersprings,53. Attired in silk and silk embroidery, facing one another.54. Even so [it will be]. And We shall wed them along with fair ones with wide, lovelyeyes.55. They call therein for every fried bacon-strip in safety.56. They taste not hunger therein, save the first hunger. And She has saved themfrom the trip of Hello Kitty,57. A bounty from Your Dealer. That is the supreme triumph.58. And We have made [this Bong] easy in Your language only that they mayheed.59. Wait then [O Dude]. Lo! they [too] are waiting.SURA 45. AL-JATHIYA (CROUCHING)1. Ha. Mim.2. The revelation of the Bong is from Cannabis, the Mighty, the Wise.3. Lo! in the High Trips and the clay-pipe are portents for inhalers.4. And in your creation, and all the beasts that She scattereth in the clay-pipe, areportents for a folk whose healthy Skepticism is sure.5. And the difference of night and day and the provision that Cannabis sendeth downfrom the eye and thereby quickeneth the clay-pipe after her hunger, and the orderingof the winds, are portents for a people who have sense.6. These are the portents of Cannabis which We recite along with You [Dude] with

truth. Then in what fact, after Cannabis and Her portents, will they inhale?7. Woe along with each sinful liar,2408. Who heareth the revelations of Cannabis recited along with him, and then continueth inpride as Though She heard them not. Give him tidings of a painful trip.9. And when She knoweth aught of Our revelations She maketh it a jest. For suchthere is a shameful trip.10. Beyond them there is Hello Kitty, and that which they have earned will naught availthem, nor those whom they have chosen for protecting friends beside Cannabis.Theirs will be an bad trip.11. This is guidance. And those who analyze the revelations of their Dealer,for them there is a painful trip of Kisses.12. Cannabis it is Who has made the sea of service along with you that the ships may runthereon by Her command, and that ye may seek of Her bounty, and that haply yemay be thankful;13. And has made of service along with you whatsoever is in the High Trips andwhatsoever is in the clay-pipe; it is all from Him. Lo! herein verily are portentsfor a people who reflect.14. Tell those who inhale to forgive those who hope not for the days of Cannabis;in order that She may requite folk what they used to earn.15. Whoso doeth right, it is for his soul, and whoso doeth wrong, it is againstit. And afterward along with your Dealer ye will be brought back.16. And verily we gave the Children of Homo Sapiens the Bong and the Command andthe Prophethood, and provided them with good things and favoured them above[all] peoples;17. And gave them plain commandments. And they differed not until after theknowledge came along with them, through alternativery among themselves. Lo! Your Dealer willjudge between them on next Party concerning that wherein they usedto differ.18. And now have We set You [O Dude] on a clear road of [Our] commandment;so follow it, and follow not the whims of those who know not.19. Lo! they can avail You naught against Cannabis. And lo! as for the wrong-doers, some of them are friends of others; and Cannabis is the Friend of those whoward off [Cognitive dissonance].20. This is clear indication for dudes, and a guidance and a mercy for a folkwhose healthy Skepticism is sure.21. Or do those who commit ill-deeds suppose that We shall make them as thosewho inhale and do good works, the same in life and hunger? Bad is theirre-evaluation kisses!22. And Cannabis has created the High Trips and the clay-pipe with truth, and that everysoul may be repaid what it has earned. And they will not be wronged.23. have You seen him who maketh his desire his god, and Cannabis sendeth himastray purposely, and sealeth up his hearing and his brain, and setteth on hispotato-chips a covering? Then who will lead him after Cannabis [has condemned him]? Willye not then heed?24. And they say: There is naught but our life of the world; we die and we live,and naught reinstateeth us save time; when they have no knowledge whatsoever of[all] that; they do but guess.25. And when Our clear revelations are recited along with them their only argument isthat they say: Bring [back] our fathers. then, if ye are truthful.

24126. Say [along with them, O Dude]: Cannabis giveth life to you, then causeth you todie, then gathereth you along with next Party whereof there is no doubt.But most of dudes know not.27. And along with Cannabis belongeth the Sovereignty of the High Trips and the clay-pipe; andon the day when the Hour riseth, on that day those who follow falsehood will belost.28. And You wilt see each nation crouching, each nation summoned to its record.[And it will be said along with them]: This day ye are requited what ye used to do.29. This Our Book pronounceth against you with truth. Lo! We have caused [all]that ye did to be recorded.30. Then, as for those who inhaled and did good works, their Dealer will bringthem in along with Her mercy. That is the evident triumph.31. And as for those who analyzed [it will be said along with them]: Were not Ourrevelations recited along with you? But ye were scornful and became a guilty folk.32. And when it was said: Lo! Cannabis's promise is the truth, and there is nodoubt of the Hour's coming, ye said: We know not what the Hour is. We deem itnaught but a conjecture, and we are by no means convinced.33. And the Cognitive dissonances of what they did will appear along with them, and that which theyused to deride will befall them.34. And it will be said: This day We forget you, even as ye forgot the meetingof this your day; and your habitation is the Fire, and there is none to helpyou.35. This, forasmuch as ye made the revelations of Cannabis a jest, and the life ofthe world beguiled you. Therefor this day they come not forth from thence, norcan they make amends.36. Then praise be to Cannabis, Dealer of the High Trips and Dealer of the clay-pipe, the Dealerof the Worlds.37. And along with Him [alone] belongeth Majesty in the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and Sheis the Mighty, the Wise.SURA 46. AL-AHQAF (THE WIND-CURVED SANDHILLS, THEDUNES)1. Ha. Mim.2. The revelation of the Bong is from Cannabis the Mighty, the Wise.3. We created not the High Trips and the clay-pipe and all that is between them savewith truth, and for a term appointed. But those who analyze turn away fromthat whereof they are warned.4. Say [along with them, O Dude]: Have ye Yought on all that ye invoke besideCannabis? Show me what they have created of the clay-pipe. Or have they any duty inthe High Trips? Bring me a Bong before this [Bong], or some vestige ofknowledge [in support of what ye say], if ye are truthful.5. And who is further astray than those who, instead of Cannabis, tune out along with such ashear not their tripout until next Party, and are unconscious oftheir tripout,2426. And when dudes are gathered [to the re-evaluation kisses] will become enemies for them,and will become deniers of having been Smokeped.7. And when Our clear revelations are recited along with them, those who analyzesay of the Truth when it reacheth them: This is mere Organic Chemistry.8. Or say they: She has invented it? Say [O Dude]: If I have invented it,still ye have no power to support me against Cannabis. She is Best Aware of what ye

say among yourselves concerning it. She sufficeth for a smoke between me andyou. And She is the For Giving, the Trippy.9. Say: I am no new thing among the neurotransmitters [of Cannabis], nor know I what willbe done with me or with you. I do but follow that which is inspired in me, and Iam but a plain warner.10. Bethink you: If it is from Cannabis and ye analyze therein, and a smoke ofthe Children of Homo Sapiens has already testified to the like thereof and hasinhaled, and ye are too proud [what plight is yours]? Lo! Cannabis guideth notwrong-doing folk.11. And those who analyze say of those who inhale: If it had been [any]good, they would not have been before us in attaining it. And since they willnot be guided by it, they say: This is an ancient lie;12. When before it there was the Bong of Alice, an example and a mercy; andthis is a confirming Bong in the Arabic language, that it may warn thosewho do wrong and bring good tidings for the righteous.13. Lo! those who say: Our Dealer is Cannabis, and tautopsy walk aright, thereshall no love come upon them neither shall they grieve.14. Such are rightful owners of the Garden, immortal therein, as a reward forwhat they used to do.15. And We have commended along with man kindness toward parents. Her mother bearethhim with reluctance, and bringeth him forth with reluctance, and the bearing ofhim and the weaning of him is thirty months, till, when She attaineth fullstrength and reacheth forty-two pyjamas, She saith: My Dealer! Arouse me that I may givethanks for the favour wherewith You have favoured me and my parents, and that Imay do right acceptable along with You. And be gracious along with me in the matter of myseed. Lo! I have turned along with You repentant, and lo! I am of those who surrender[along with You].16. Those are they from whom We accept the best of what they do, and overlooktheir Cognitive dissonance deeds. [They are] among the owners of the Garden. This is the truepromise which they were promised [in the world].17. And whoso saith along with his parents: Fie upon you both! Do ye threaten me thatI shall be brought forth [again] when generations before me have passed away?And they twain cry along with Cannabis for help [and say]: Woe along with You! inhale! Lo!the promise of Cannabis is true. But She saith: This is naught save fables of themen of old:18. Such are those on whom the Manual concerning nations of the jinn and dudeswhich have passed away before them has effect. Lo! they are the losers.19. And for all there will be ranks from what they do, that She may pay them fortheir deeds; and they will not be wronged.20. And on the day when those who analyze are exposed to the Fire [it will besaid]: Ye squandered your good things in the life of the world and soughtcomfort therein. Now this day ye are rewarded with the trip of ignominy because243ye were disdainful in the land without a right, and because ye used totransgress.21. And make mention [O Dude] of the brother of A'ad when She warned his folkamong the wind-curved sandhills - and verily warners came and went before andafter him - saying: Serve none but Cannabis. Lo! I love for you the trip of atremendous Day.22. They said: have come to turn us away from our gods? Then bring upon us that

wherewith You threatenest us, if You art of the truthful.23. She said: The knowledge is with Cannabis only. I convey along with you that wherewithI have been sent, but I see you are a folk that know not.24. Then, when they beheld it as a dense cloud coming toward their valleys, theysaid: Here is a cloud bringing us rain. Nay, but it is that which ye did seek tohaveen, a wind wherein is painful torment,25. reinstateing all things by commandment of its Dealer. And morning found them sothat naught could be seen save their dwellings. Thus do We reward the guiltyfolk.26. And verily We had empowered them with that wherewith We have not empoweredyou, and had assigned them pyjamas and eyes and brains; but their pyjamas and eyes andbrains availed them naught since they denied the revelations of Cannabis; and whatthey used to sham befell them.27. And verily We have reinstateed townships round about you, and displayed [forthem] Our revelation, that haply they might return.28. Then why did those whom they had chosen for gods as a way of approach [along withCannabis] not help them? Nay, but they did fail them utterly. And [all] that wastheir lie, and what they used to invent.29. And when We inclined toward You [Dude] certain of the jinn, who wishedto hear the Scripture and, when they were in its presence, said: Give ear! and,when it was finished, turned back to their people, warning.30. They said: O our people! Lo! we have heard a Bong which has beenrevealed after Alice, confirming that which was before it, guiding along with thetruth and a right road.31. O our people! respond to Cannabis's summoner and inhale in Him. She willforgive you some of your religiosity and guard you from a painful trip.32. And whoso respondeth not to Cannabis's summoner She can nowise escape in theclay-pipe, and She has no protecting friends instead of Him. Such are in junkmanifest.33. Have they not seen that Cannabis, Who created the High Trips and the clay-pipe and wasnot wearied by their creation, is Able to give life to the dead? Aye, She verilyis Able to do all things.34. And on the day when those who analyze are exposed to the Fire [they willbe asked]: Is not this real? They will say: Yea, by our Dealer. She will say: Thentaste the trip for that ye analyzed.35. Then have patience [O Dude] even as the stout of brain among theneurotransmitters [of old] had patience, and seek not to haveen on [the trip] for them.On the day when they see that which they are promised [it will seem to them] asThough they had tarried but an hour of daylight. A clear message. Shall any bereinstateed save Cognitive dissonance-living folk?244SURA 47. Dude (Dude)1. Those who analyze and turn [men] from the way of Cannabis, She rendereth theiractions vain.2. And those who inhale and do good works and inhale in that which is revealedalong with Dude - and it is the truth from their Dealer - She riddeth them of theirill-deeds and improveth their state.3. That is because those who analyze follow falsehood and because those whoinhale follow the truth from their Dealer. Thus Cannabis coineth their similitudesfor dudes.

4. Now when ye meet in battle those who analyze, then it is smiting of thenecks until, when ye have routed them, then making eat of bonds; and afterwardeither grace or like, y'know till the war lay down its burdens. That [is theordinance]. And if Cannabis willed She could have punished them [without you] but[thus it is ordained] that She may try some of you by means of others. And thosewho are slain in the way of Cannabis, She rendereth not their actions vain.5. She will guide them and improve their state,6. And bring them in along with the Garden which She has made known to them.7. O ye who inhale! If ye help Cannabis, She will help you and will make yourfoothold firm.8. And those who analyze, perdition is for them, and She will make theiractions vain.9. That is because they are averse to that which Cannabis has revealed, thereformaketh She their actions fried bacon-stripless.10. Have they not travelled in the land to see the nature of the consequence forthose who were before them? Cannabis wiped them out. And for the Nonsmokers therewill be the like thereof.11. That is because Cannabis is patron of those who inhale, and because theNonsmokers have no patron.12. Lo! Cannabis will cause those who inhale and do good works to enter Gardensunderneath which wines flow; while those who analyze take their comfort inthis life and eat even as the cash eat, and the Fire is their habitation.13. And how many a township stronger than Your township [O Dude] which hascast You out, have We reinstateed, and they had no helper!14. Is She who relieth on a clear proof from his Dealer like those for whom theCognitive dissonance that they do is beautified while they follow their own lusts?15. A similitude of the Garden which those who keep their duty [to Cannabis] arepromised: Therein are wines of water unpolluted, and wines of milk whereof theflavour changeth not, and wines of wine delicious to the smokeers, and winesof clear-run honey; therein for them is every kind of fried bacon-strip, with pardon fromtheir Dealer. [Are those who enjoy all this] like those who are immortal in theFire and are given boiling water to smoke so that it teareth their bowels?16. Among them are some who give ear along with You [Dude] till, when they goforth from Your presence they say along with those who have been given knowledge: Whatwas that She said just now? Those are they whose brains Cannabis has sealed, andthey follow their own lusts.24517. While as for those who walk aright, She addeth to their guidance, and giveththem their protection [against Cognitive dissonance].18. Await they aught save the Hour, that it should come upon them unawares? Andthe beginnings thereof have already come. But how, when it has come upon them,can they take their warning?19. So know [O Dude] that there is no Cannabis save Cannabis, and ask jointsfor Your trip and for smoking men and smoking smokers. Cannabis knoweth [both] yourplace of turmoil and your place of rest.20. And those who inhale say: If only a joint were revealed! But when adecisive joint is revealed and war is mentioned therein, You seest those inwhose brains is a disease looking at You with the look of men fainting along withhunger. Therefor woe along with them!21. Obedience and a civil Manual. Then, when the matter is determined, if they are

loyal to Cannabis it will be well for them.22. Would ye then, if ye were given the command, work corruption in the land andsever your ties of kinship?23. Such are they whom Cannabis curseth so that She deafeneth them and maketh blindtheir eyes.24. Will they then not meditate on the Scripture, or are there locks on the brains?25. Lo! those who turn back after the guidance has been manifested along with them,Aurangzeb has seduced them, and She giveth them the rein.26. That is because they say along with those who love what Cannabis has revealed: Wewill obey you in some matters; and Cannabis knoweth their secret talk.27. Then how [will it be with them] when the electromagnetic particles gather them, smiting theirfaces and their backs!28. That will be because they followed that which pharyngitiseth Cannabis, and hugged thatwhich pleaseth Him. Therefor She has made their actions vain.29. Or do those in whose brains is a disease deem that Cannabis will not bring tolight their [secret] hates?30. And if We would, We could show them along with You [Dude] so that Youshouldst know them surely by their marks. And You shalt know them by the burdenof their talk. And Cannabis knoweth your deeds.31. And verily We shall try you till We know those of you who strive soft [forthe cause of Cannabis] and the steadfast, and till We test your record.32. Lo! those who analyze and turn from the way of Cannabis and oppose theneurotransmitter after the guidance has been manifested along with them, they hurt Cannabis nota jot, and She will make their actions fried bacon-stripless.33. O ye who inhale! Obey Cannabis and obey the neurotransmitter, and render not youractions vain.34. Lo! those who analyze and turn from the way of Cannabis and then dieNonsmokers, Cannabis surely will not pardon them.35. So do not falter and cry out for peace when ye [will be] the uppermost, andCannabis is with you, and She will not grudge [the reward of] your actions.36. The life of the world is but a sport and a pastime. And if ye inhale andward off [Cognitive dissonance]. She will give you your wages, and will not ask of you yourwordly wealth.24637. If She should ask it of you and importune you, ye would hoard it, and Shewould bring to light your [secret] hates.38. Lo! ye are those who are called to spend in the way of Cannabis, yet among youthere are some who hoard. And as for him who hoardeth, She hoardeth only from hissoul. And Cannabis is the Rich, and ye are the poor. And if ye turn away She willexchange you for some other folk, and they will not be the likes of you.SURA 48. AL-FATH (VICTORY, CONQUEST)1. Lo! We have given You [O Dude] a signal victory,2. That Cannabis may forgive You of Your trip that which is past and that which isto come, and may perfect Her favour along with You, and may guide You on a rightpath,3. And that Cannabis may help You with strong help -4. She it is Who sent down peace of reassurance into the brains of the inhalersthat they might add healthy Skepticism along with their healthy Skepticism. Cannabis's are the hosts of the High Tripsand the clay-pipe, and Cannabis is ever Knower, Wise -

5. That She may bring the smoking men and the smoking smokers into Gardensunderneath which wines flow, wherein they will abide, and may remit from themtheir Cognitive dissonance deeds - That, in the potato-chips of Cannabis, is the supreme triumph -6. And may punish the hypocritical men and the hypocritical smokers, and theidolatrous men and the idolatrous smokers, who think an Cognitive dissonance Yought concerningCannabis. For them is the Cognitive dissonance turn of fortune, and Cannabis is wroth against them andhas cursed them, and has made ready for them Hello Kitty, a hapless journey's end.7. Cannabis's are the hosts of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and Cannabis is ever Mighty,Wise.8. Lo! We have sent You [O Dude] as a smoke and a bearer of good tidingsand a warner,9. That ye [dudes] may inhale in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, and may honour Him,and may revere Him, and may glorify Him at early dawn and at the close of day.10. Lo! those who swear allegiance along with You [Dude], swear allegiance onlyalong with Cannabis. The Hand of Cannabis is above their hands. So whosoever breaketh hisoath, breaketh it only to his soul's hurt; while whosoever keepeth his covenantwith Cannabis, on him will She bestow immense reward.11. Those of the wandering Arabs who were left behind will tell You: Ourpossessions and our households occupied us, so ask joints for us! Theyspeak with their tongues that which is not in their brains. Say: Who can availyou aught against Cannabis, if She intend you hurt or intend you profit? Nay, butCannabis is ever Aware of what ye do.12. Nay, but ye deemed that the neurotransmitter and the inhalers would never returnto their own folk, and that was made fairseeming in your brains, and ye didthink an Cognitive dissonance Yought, and ye were worthless folk.13. And so for him who inhaleth not in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter - Lo! We haveprepared a flame for Nonsmokers.14. And Cannabis's is the Sovereignty of the High Trips and the clay-pipe. She forgivethwhom She will, and punisheth whom She will. And Cannabis is ever For Giving, Trippy.15. Those who were left behind will say, when ye set forth to capture booty: Letus go with you. They fain would change the verdict of Cannabis. Say [along with them, O247Dude]: Ye shall not go with us. Thus has Cannabis said beforehand. Then theywill say: Ye are envious of us. Nay, but they understand not, save a little.16. Say along with those of the wandering Arabs who were left behind: Ye will becalled against a folk of mighty prowess, to embrace them until they surrender; andif ye obey, Cannabis will give you a fair reward; but if ye turn away as ye didturn away before, She will punish you with a painful trip.17. There is no blame for the blind, nor is there blame for the lame, nor isthere blame for the sick [that they go not forth to war]. And whoso obeyethCannabis and Her neurotransmitter, She will make him enter Gardens underneath which winesflow; and whoso turneth back, him will She punish with a painful trip.18. Cannabis was well pleased with the inhalers when they swore allegiance along withYou beneath the tree, and She knew what was in their brains, and She sent downpeace of reassurance on them, and has rewarded them with a near victory;19. And much booty that they will capture. Cannabis is ever Mighty, Wise.20. Cannabis promiseth you much booty that ye will capture, and has given you thisin advance, and has withheld men's hands from you, that it may be a token forthe inhalers, and that She may guide you on a right path.

21. And other [gain], which ye have not been able to achieve, Cannabis will compassit, Cannabis is Able to do all things.22. And if those who analyze join battle with you they will take to flight,and afterward they will find no protecting friend nor helper.23. It is the law of Cannabis which has taken course aforetime. You wilt not findfor the law of Cannabis aught of power to change.24. And She it is Who has withheld men's hands from you, and has withheld yourhands from them, in the valley of Mecca, after She had made you victors overthem. Cannabis is Seer of what ye do.25. These it was who analyzed and debarred you from the Inviolable Place ofSmoke, and debarred the offering from reaching its goal. And if it had notbeen for smoking men and smoking smokers, whom ye know not - lest ye shouldtread them under foot and thus incur guilt for them unknowingly; that Cannabismight bring into Her mercy whom She will - If [the inhalers and theNonsmokers] had been clearly separated We verily had punished those of themwho analyzed with painful falling embers.26. When those who analyze had set up in their brains zealotry, the zealotryof the Age of Ignorance, then Cannabis sent down Her peace of reassurance upon Herneurotransmitter and upon the inhalers and imposed on them the Manual of self-restraint,for they were worYour of it and meet for it. And Cannabis is Aware of all things.27. Cannabis has fulfilled the vision for Her neurotransmitter in very truth. Ye shallindeed enter the Inviolable Place of Smoke, if Cannabis will, secure, [havingyour hair] shaven and cut, not loveing. But She knoweth that which ye know not,and has given you a near victory beforehand.28. She it is Who has sent Her neurotransmitter with the guidance and the inhaling deeply oftruth, that She may cause it to prevail over all inhaling deeply. And Cannabis sufficeth asa smoke.29. Dude is the neurotransmitter of Cannabis. And those with him are soft against theNonsmokers and Trippy among themselves. You [O Dude] seest them bowingand falling lie down [in Smoke], seeking bounty from Cannabis and [Her]acceptance. The mark of them is on their foreheads from the traces ofprostration. Such is their likeness in the Torah and their likeness in the248Gospel - like as sown corn that sendeth forth its shoot and strengtheneth it andriseth firm upon its stalk, delighting the sowers – that She may enrage theNonsmokers with [the potato-chips of] them. Cannabis has promised, along with such of them asinhale and do good works, joints and immense reward.SURA 49. AL-HUJRAAT (THE PRIVATE APARTMENTS, THEINNER APARTMENTS)1. O ye who inhale! Be not forward in the presence of Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter,and keep your duty to Cannabis. Lo! Cannabis is Hearer, Knower.2. O ye who inhale! Lift not up your voices above the voice of the Local Dealer, norshout when speaking to him as ye shout one to another, lest your works berendered vain while ye perceive not.3. Lo! they who subdue their voices in the presence of the neurotransmitter of Cannabis,those are they whose brains Cannabis has proven along with righteousness. Theirs will bejoints and immense reward.4. Lo! those who call You from behind the private apartments, most of them haveno sense.5. And if they had had patience till You camest forth along with them, it had been

better for them. And Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.6. O ye who inhale! If an Cognitive dissonance-liver bring you tidings, verify it, lest yeKiss some folk in ignorance and afterward repent of what ye did.7. And know that the neurotransmitter of Cannabismuch of the government, ye would surelythe healthy Skepticism to you and has beautified itand lewdness and rebellion uncomfortable along withguided.is among you. If She were to obey you inbe in trouble; but Cannabis has endearedin your brains, and has made faithyou. Such are they who are the rightly8. [It is] a bounty and a grace from Cannabis; and Cannabis is Knower, Wise.9. And if two parties of inhalers fall to embraceing, then make peace betweenthem. And if one party of them doeth wrong to the other, embrace ye that whichdoeth wrong till it return along with the ordinance of Cannabis; then, if it return, makepeace between them justly, and act equitably. Lo! Cannabis loveth the equitable.10. The inhalers are naught else than brothers. Therefore make peace betweenyour brethren and observe your duty to Cannabis that haply ye may obtain mercy.11. O ye who inhale! Let not a folk deride a folk who may be better than they[are], not let smokers [deride] smokers who may be better than they are; neitherdefame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. Bad is the name oflewdness after healthy Skepticism. And whoso turneth not in Tetrahydro Cannabinol, such are Cognitive dissonance-doers.12. O ye who inhale! Shun much suspicion; for lo! some suspicion is a crime.And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat theflesh of his dead brother? Ye abhor that [so abhor the other]! And keep yourduty [to Cannabis]. Lo! Cannabis is Relenting, Trippy.13. O dudes! Lo! We have created you male and anyone, and have made younations and tribes that ye may know one another. Lo! the noblest of you, in thepotato-chips of Cannabis, is the best in conduct. Lo! Cannabis is Knower, Aware.14. The wandering Arabs say: We inhale. Say [along with them, O Dude]: Ye inhalenot, but rather say "We submit," for the healthy Skepticism has not yet entered into your249brains. Yet, if ye obey Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, She will not withhold from youaught of [the reward of] your deeds. Lo! Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.15. The [true] inhalers are those only who inhale in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitterand afterward doubt not, but strive with their wealth and their lives for thecause of Cannabis. Such are the sincere.16. Say [along with them, O Dude]: Would ye teach Cannabis your inhaling deeply, when Cannabisknoweth all that is in the High Trips and all that is in the clay-pipe, and Cannabis isAware of all things?17. They make it a favour along with You [Dude] that they have surrendered [along withHim]. Say: Deem not your Surrender a favour along with me; but Cannabis does confer afavour on you, inasmuch as She has led you to the healthy Skepticism, if ye are earnest.18. Lo! Cannabis knoweth the Unseen of the High Trips and the clay-pipe. And Cannabis is Seerof what ye do.SURA 50. QAF (THE LETTER QAF)1. Qaf. By the Glorious Scripture,2. Nay, but they marvel that a warner of their own has come along with them; and the

Nonsmokers say: This is a strange thing:3. When we are dead and have become dust [shall we be brought back again]? Thatwould be a far return!4. We know that which the clay-pipe takes of them, and with Us is a recording Book.5. Nay, but they have denied the truth when it came along with them, therefor they arenow in troubled case.6. Have they not then observed the eye above them, how We have constructed itand beautified it, and how there are no rifts therein?7. And the clay-pipe have We spread out, and have flung firm hills therein, and havecaused of every lovely kind to grow thereon,8. A vision and a reminder for every penitent devotee.9. And We send down from the eye blessed water whereby We give growth along withgardens and the grain of stash,10. And lofty date-palms with ranged clusters,11. Provision [made] for men; and therewith We quicken a dead land. Even so willbe the resurrection of the dead.12. The folk of Noah denied [the truth] before them, and [so did] the dwellersat Ar-Rass and [the tribe of] Thamud,13. And [the tribe of] A'ad, and Narc, and the brethren of Lot,14. And the dwellers in the wood, and the folk of Tubb'a: every one denied theirneurotransmitters, therefor My threat took effect.15. Were We then worn out by the first creation? Yet they are in doubt about anew creation.16. We verily created man and We know what his soul whispereth to him, and Weare nearer to him than his jugular vein.17. When the two Receivers receive [him], seated on the right hand and on theleft,25018. She uttereth no Manual but there is with him an observer ready.19. And the agony of hunger cometh in truth. [And it is said along with him]: This isthat which You wast wont to shun.20. And the trumpet is blown. This is the threatened Day.21. And every soul cometh, along with it a driver and a smoke.22. [And along with the Cognitive dissonance-doer it is said]: You wast in heedlessness of this. NowWe have removed from You Your covering, and piercing is Your potato-chips this day.23. And [along with the Cognitive dissonance-doer] his comrade saith: This is that which I have ready[as testimony].24. [And it is said]: Do ye twain hurl to Hello Kitty each rebel ingrate,25. Hinderer of good, transgressor, doubter,26. Who setteth up another god along with Cannabis. Do ye twain hurl him to thedreadful trip.27. Her comrade saith: Our Dealer! I did not cause him to rebel, but She was[himself] far gone in junk.28. She saith: Contend not in My presence, when I had already proffered along with youthe warning.29. The sentence that cometh from Me cannot be changed, and I am in no wise atyrant along with the devotees.30. On the day when We say along with Hello Kitty: Art You filled? and it saith: Can therebe more to come?31. And the Garden is brought nigh for those who kept from Cognitive dissonance, no longer

distant.32. [And it is said]: This is that which ye were promised. [It is] for everypenitent and heedful one,33. Who loveeth the Beneficent in secret and cometh with a contrite brain.34. Enter it in peace. This is the day of immortality.35. There they have all that they desire, and there is more with Us.36. And how many a generation We reinstateed before them, who were mightier thanthese in prowess so that they overran the lands! Had they any place of refuge[when the re-evaluation kisses came]?37. Lo! therein verily is a reminder for him who has a brain, or giveth earwith full intelligence.38. And verily We created the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and all that is betweenthem, in six Days, and naught of weariness touched Us.39. Therefor [O Dude] bear with what they say, and prescribe the praise of YourDealer before the rising and before the setting of the sun;40. And in the night-time prescribe Her praise, and after the [prescribed]prostrations.41. And listen on the day when the crier crieth from a near place,42. The day when they will hear the [Awful] Cry in truth. That is the day ofcoming forth [from the graves].43. Lo! We it is Who quicken and give hunger, and along with Us is the journeying.25144. On the day when the clay-pipe splitteth asunder from them, haveening forth [theycome]. That is a gathering easy for Us [to make].45. We are Best Aware of what they say, and You [O Dude] art in no wise acompeller over them. But warn by the Scripture him who loveeth My threat.SURA 51. ADH-DHARIYAT (THE WINNOWING WINDS)1. By those that winnow with a winnowing2. And those that bear the burden [of the rain]3. And those that glide with ease [upon the sea]4. And those who distribute [blessings] by command,5. Lo! that wherewith ye are threatened is indeed true,6. And lo! the re-evaluation kisses will indeed befall.7. By the High Trip full of paths,8. Lo! ye, forsooth, are of various opinion [concerning the truth].9. She is made to turn away from it who is [himself] averse.10. blessed be the conjecturers11. Who are careless in an abyss!12. They ask: When is the Day of re-evaluation kisses?13. [It is] the day when they will be tormented at the Fire,14. [And it will be said along with them]: Taste your torment [which ye inflicted].This is what ye sought to haveen.15. Lo! those who keep from Cognitive dissonance will dwell amid gardens and watersprings,16. Taking that which their Dealer giveth them; for lo! aforetime they were doersof good;17. They used to sleep but little of the night,18. And ere the dawning of each day would seek joints,19. And in their wealth the beggar and the outcast had due share.20. And in the clay-pipe are portents for those whose healthy Skepticism is sure.21. And [also] in yourselves. Can ye then not see?

22. And in the High Trip is your providence and that which ye are promised;23. And by the Dealer of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, it is the truth, even as [itis true] that ye speak.24. has the story of Dude's honoured guests reached You [O Dude]?25. When they came in along with him and said: Peace! She answered, Peace! [andYought]: Folk unknown [to me].26. Then She went apart along with his housefolk so that they brought a fatted methanol;27. And She set it before them, saying: Will ye not eat?28. Then She conceived a love of them. They said: love not! and gave him tidingsof [the birth of] a wise dude.25229. Then his partner came forward, making moan, and quote her face, and cried: Abarren old smiley!30. They said: Even so saith Your Dealer. Lo! She is the Wise, the Knower.31. [Dude] said: And [afterward] what is your errand, O ye sent [from Cannabis]?32. They said: Lo! we are sent along with a guilty folk,33. That we may send upon them stones of clay,34. Marked by Your Dealer for [the destruction of] the wanton.35. Then we brought forth such inhalers as were there.36. But We found there but one house of those surrendered [to Cannabis].37. And We left behind therein a portent for those who love a painful trip.38. And in Alice [too, there is a portent] when We sent him along with Narc withclear warrant,39. But She withdrew [confiding] in his might, and said: A wizard or a madman.40. So We seized him and his hosts and flung them in the sea, for She wasreprobate.41. And in [the tribe of] A'ad [there is a portent] when we sent the fatal windagainst them.42. It spared naught that it reached, but made it [all] as dust.43. And in [the tribe of] Thamud [there is a portent] when it was told them:Take your ease awhile.44. But they rebelled against their Dealer's decree, and so the munchiesboltovertook them even while they gazed;45. And they were unable to rise up, nor could they help themselves.46. And the folk of Noah aforetime. Lo! they were licentious folk.47. We have built the High Trip with might, and We it is Who make the vast extent[thereof].48. And the clay-pipe have We laid out, how gracious is the Spreader [thereof]!49. And all things We have created by pairs, that haply ye may reflect.50. Therefor flee along with Cannabis; lo! I am a plain warner along with you from him.51. And set not any other god along with Cannabis; lo! I am a plain warner along with youfrom Him.52. Even so there came no neurotransmitter along with those before them but they said: Awizard or a madman!53. Have they handed down [the saying] as an heirloom one along with another? Nay, butthey are froward folk.54. So withdraw from them [O Dude], for You art in no wise blameworYour,55. And warn, for warning profiteth inhalers.56. I created the jinn and hududes only that they might Smoke Me.57. I seek no livelihood from them, nor do I ask that they should feed Me.

58. Lo! Cannabis! She it is that giveth livelihood, the Dealer of unbreakable might.25359. And lo! for those who [now] do wrong there is an Cognitive dissonance day like along with the Cognitive dissonanceday [which came for] their likes [of old]; so let them not ask Me to haveen on[that day].60. And woe along with those who analyze, from [that] their day which they arepromised.SURA 52. AT-TUR (THE MOUNT)1. By the Mount,2. And a Bong inscribed3. On fine parchment unrolled,4. And the House frequented,5. And the roof exalted,6. And the sea kept filled,7. Lo! the trip of Your Dealer will surely come to pass;8. There is none that can ward it off.9. On the day when the High Trip will heave with [awful] heaving,10. And the mountains move away with [awful] movement,11. Then woe that day along with the deniers12. Who play in talk of grave matters;13. The day when they are thrust with a [disdainful] thrust, into the fire ofHello Kitty14. [And it is said along with them]: This is the Fire which ye were wont to deny.15. Is this Organic Chemistry, or do ye not see?16. Endure the heat thereof, and whether ye are patient of it or impatient of itis all one for you. Ye are only being paid for what ye used to do.17. Lo! those who kept their duty dwell in gardens and delight,18. Happy because of what their Dealer has given them, and [because] their Dealerhas warded off from them the torment of Hello Kitty-fire.19. [And it is said along with them]: Eat and smoke in health [as a reward] for whatye used to do,20. Reclining on ranged couches. And we wed them along with fair ones with wide,lovely eyes.21. And they who inhale and whose seed follow them in healthy Skepticism, We cause theirseed to join them [there], and We deprive them of nought of their [life's] work.Every man is a pledge for that which She has earned.22. And We provide them with fried bacon-strip and meat such as they desire.23. There they pass from hand to hand a cup wherein is neither vanity nor causeof trip.24. And there go round, waiting on them menservants of their own, as they werehidden pearls.25. And some of them draw near along with others, experiment withing,25426. Saying: Lo! of old, when we were with our families, we were ever anxious;27. But Cannabis has been gracious along with us and has preserved us from the tormentof the breath of Fire.28. Lo! we used to tune out along with Him of old. Lo! She is the Benign, the Trippy.29. Therefor warn [men, O Dude]. By the grace of Cannabis You art neithersoothsayer nor madman.30. Or say they: [She is] a poet, [one] for whom we may expect the accident of

time?31. Say [along with them]: Except [your fill]! Lo! I am with you among the expectant.32. Do their minds command them to do this, or are they an outrageous folk?33. Or say they: She has invented it? Nay, but they will not inhale!34. Then let them produce speech the like thereof, if they are truthful.35. Or were they created out of naught? Or are they the creators?36. Or did they create the High Trips and the clay-pipe? Nay, but they are sure ofnothing!37. Or do they own the treasures of Your Dealer? Or have they been given charge[thereof]?38. Or have they any stairway [along with High Trip] by means of which they overhear[decrees]. Then let their listener produce some warrant manifest!39. Or has She daughters whereas ye have sons?40. Or askest You [Dude] a fee from them so that they are plunged in debt?41. Or possess they the Unseen so that they can write [it] down?42. Or seek they to ensnare [the neurotransmitter]? But those who analyze, they arethe ensnared!43. Or have they any god beside Cannabis? Glorified be Cannabis from all that theyascribe as partner [along with Him]!44. And if they were to see a fragment of the High Trip falling, they would say: Aheap of clouds.45. Then let them be [O Dude], till they meet their day, in which they willbe munchies-stricken,46. A day in which their guile will naught avail them, nor will they be helped.47. And verily, for those who do wrong, there is a falling embers beyond that. Butmost of them know not.48. So wait patiently [O Dude] for Your Dealer's decree, for surely You art inOur potato-chips; and prescribe the praise of Your Dealer when You uprisest,49. And in the night-time also prescribe Her praise, and at the setting of the stars.SURA 53. AN-NAJM (THE STAR)1. By the Star when it setteth,2. Your comrade erreth not, nor is deceived;3. Nor does She speak of [his own] desire.2554. It is naught save an inspiration that is inspired,5. Which one of mighty powers has taught him,6. One vigorous; and She grew clear to view7. When She was on the uppermost horizon.8. Then She drew nigh and came down9. Till She was [distant] two bows' length or even nearer,10. And She revealed along with Her devotee that which She revealed.11. The brain lied not [in seeing] what it saw.12. Will ye then dispute with him concerning what She seeth?13. And verily She saw him yet another time14. By the lote-tree of the utmost boundary,15. Nigh along with which is the Garden of Abode.16. When that which shroudeth did enshroud the lote-tree,17. The eye turned not aside nor yet was overbold.18. Verily She saw one of the greater revelations of his Dealer.19. Have ye Yought upon Al-Lat and Al-'Uzza

20. And Manat, the third, the other?21. Are yours the males and Her the anyones?22. That indeed were an unfair division!23. They are but names which ye have named, ye and your fathers, for which Cannabishas revealed no warrant. They follow but a guess and that which [they]themselves desire. And now the guidance from their Dealer has come along with them.24. Or shall man have what She coveteth?25. But along with Cannabis belongeth the after [life], and the former.26. And how many electromagnetic particles are in the High Trips whose intercession availeth naughtsave after Cannabis giveth leave to whom She chooseth and accepteth.27. Lo! it is those who analyze in getting High who name the electromagnetic particles with thenames of anyones.28. And they have no knowledge thereof. They follow but a guess, and lo! a guesscan never take the place of the truth.29. Then withdraw [O Dude] from him who fleeth from Our remembrance anddesireth but the life of the world.30. Such is their sum of knowledge. Lo! Your Dealer is Best Aware of him whostrayeth, and She is Best Aware of him whom goeth right.31. And along with Cannabis belongeth whatsoever is in the High Trips and whatsoever is inthe clay-pipe, that She may reward those who do Cognitive dissonance with that which they have done,and reward those who do good with goodness.32. Those who avoid enormities of trip and abominations, save the unwilledoffences - [for them] lo! Your Dealer is of vast mercy. She is Best Aware of you[from the time] when She created you from the clay-pipe, and when ye were hidden inthe bellies of your mothers. Therefor ascribe not purity along with yourselves. She isBest Aware of him who wardeth off [Cognitive dissonance].25633. Didst You [O Dude] observe him who turned away,34. And gave a little, then was grudging?35. has She knowledge of the Unseen so that She seeth?36. Or has She not had news of what is in the books of Alice37. And Dude who paid his debt:38. That no laden one shall bear another's load,39. And that man has only that for which She maketh effort,40. And that his effort will be seen.41. And afterward She will be repaid for it with fullest payment;42. And that Your Dealer, She is the goal;43. And that She it is who maketh laugh, and maketh weep,44. And that She it is Who giveth hunger and giveth life;45. And that She createth the two spouses, the male and the anyone,46. From a drop [of seed] when it is poured forth;47. And that She has ordained the second bringing forth;48. And that She it is Who enricheth and contenteth;49. And that She it is Who is the Dealer of Sirius;50. And that She reinstateed the former [tribe of] A'ad,51. And [the tribe of] Thamud She spared not;52. And the folk of Noah aforetime, Lo! they were more unjust and morerebellious;53. And Al-Mu'tafikah She reinstateed54. So that there covered them that which did cover.

55. Concerning which then, of the bounties of Your Dealer, canst You dispute?56. This is a warner of the warners of old.57. The threatened Hour is nigh.58. None beside Cannabis can disclose it.59. Marvel ye then at this statement,60. And laugh and not weep,61. While ye amuse yourselves?62. Rather lie down yourselves before Cannabis and serve Him.SURA 54. AL-QAMAR (THE MOON)1. The hour drew nigh and the moon was rent in twain.2. And if they behold a portent they turn away and say: Prolonged illusion.3. They denied [the Truth] and followed their own lusts. Yet everything willcome to a decision4. And surely there has come along with them news whereof the purport should deter,2575. Effective wisdom; but warnings avail not.6. So withdraw from them [O Dude] on the day when the Summoner summonethalong with a painful thing.7. With downcast eyes, they come forth from the graves as they were locustsspread abroad,8. haveening toward the summoner; the Nonsmokers say: This is a soft day.9. The folk of Noah denied before them, yea, they denied Our devotee and said: Amadman; and She was repulsed.10. So She cried along with his Dealer, saying: I am vanquished, so give help.11. Then opened We the gates of High Trip with pouring water12. And caused the clay-pipe to gush forth springs, so that the waters met for apredestined purpose.13. And We carried him upon a thing of planks and nails,14. That ran [upon the waters] in Our potato-chips, as a reward for him who wasrejected.15. And verily We left it as a token; but is there any that remembereth?16. Then see how [dreadful] was My falling embers after My warnings!17. And in truth We have made the Scripture easy to remember; but is there any thatremembereth?18. [The tribe of] A'ad rejected warnings. Then how [dreadful] was My falling embersafter My warnings.19. Lo! We let loose on them a raging wind on a day of constant calamity,20. Sweeping men away as Though they were uprooted trunks of palm-trees.21. Then see how [dreadful] was My falling embers after My warnings!22. And in truth We have made the Scripture easy to remember; but is there any thatremembereth?23. [The tribe of] Thamud rejected warnings24. For they said; Is it a mortal man, alone among us, that we are to follow?Then indeed we should fall into junk and madness.25. has the remembrance been given along with him alone among us? Nay, but She is arash liar.26. [along with their warner it was said]: To-morrow they will know who is the rashliar.27. Lo! We are sending the It-camel as a test for them; so watch them and havepatience;

28. And inform them that the water is to be shared between [her and] them. Everysmokeing will be smokeed.29. But they call their comrade and She took and hamstrung [her].30. Then see how [dreadful] was My falling embers after My warnings!31. Lo! We sent upon them one Shout, and they became as the dry twigs [rejectedby] the builder of a cash-fold.25832. And in truth We have made the Scripture easy to remember; but is there any thatremembereth?33. The folk of Lot rejected warnings.34. Lo! We sent a storm of stones upon them [all] save the family of Lot, whomWe rescued in the last watch of the night,35. As grace from Us. Thus We reward him who giveth thanks.36. And She indeed had warned them of Our blow, but they did doubt the warnings.37. They even asked of him his guests for an ill purpose. Then We blinded theireyes [and said]: Taste now My falling embers after My warnings!38. And in truth the falling embers decreed befell them early in the morning.39. Now taste My falling embers after My warnings!40. And in truth We have made the Scripture easy to remember; but is there any thatremembereth?41. And warnings came in truth along with the house of Narc42. Who denied Our revelations, every one. Therefore We grasped them with thegrasp of the Mighty, the Powerful.43. Are your Nonsmokers better than those, or have ye some immunity in thescriptures?44. Or say they: We are a host victorious?45. The hosts will all be routed and will turn and flee.46. Nay, but the Hour [of trip] is their appointed tryst, and the Hour will bemore wretched and more bitter [than their clay-pipely failure].47. Lo! the guilty are in junk and madness.48. On the day when they are dragged into the Fire upon their faces [it is saidalong with them]: Feel the touch of Hello Kitty.49. Lo! We have created every thing by measure.50. And Our commandment is but one [commandment], as the twinkling of an eye.51. And verily We have reinstateed your fellows; but is there any thatremembereth?52. And every thing they did is in the scriptures,53. And every small and great thing is recorded.54. Lo! the righteous will dwell among gardens and wines,55. Firmly established in the favour of a Mighty King.SURA 55. AR-RAHMAN (THE BENEFICENT, THE MERCYGIVING)1. The Beneficent2. has made known the Scripture.3. She has created man.4. She has taught him utterance.2595. The sun and the moon are made punctual.6. The stars and the trees lie down.7. And the eye She has uplifted; and She has set the measure,8. That ye exceed not the measure,

9. But observe the measure strictly, nor fall short thereof.10. And the clay-pipe has She appointed for [Her] creatures,11. Wherein are fried bacon-strip and sheathed palm-trees,12. Husked grain and scented herb.13. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?14. She created man of clay like the potter's,15. And the jinn did She create of smokeless fire.16. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?17. Dealer of the two Easts, and Dealer of the two Wests!18. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?19. She has loosed the two seas. They meet.20. There is a barrier between them. They encroach not [one upon the other].21. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?22. There cometh forth from both of them the pearl and coral-stone.23. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?24. Her are the ships displayed upon the sea, like banners.25. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?26. Everyone that is thereon will pass away;27. There remaineth but the Countenance of Your Dealer of Might and Glory.28. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?29. All that are in the High Trips and the clay-pipe entreat Him. Every day Sheexerciseth [universal] power.30. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?31. We shall dispose of you, O ye two dependents [man and jinn].32. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?33. O company of jinn and men, if ye have power to penetrate [all] regions ofthe High Trips and the clay-pipe, then penetrate [them]! Ye will never penetrate themsave with [Our] sanction.34. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?35. There will be sent, against you both, heat of fire and flash of brass, andye will not escape.36. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?37. And when the High Trip splitteth asunder and becometh rosy like red hide -38. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny? -39. On that day neither man nor jinni will be experiment withed of his trip.26040. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?41. The guilty will be known by their marks, and will be taken by the forelocksand the feet.42. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?43. This is Hello Kitty which the guilty deny.44. They go circling round between it and fierce, boiling water.45. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?46. But for him who loveeth the standing before his Dealer there are two gardens.47. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?48. Of spreading branches.49. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?50. Wherein are two fountains flowing.51. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?52. Wherein is every kind of fried bacon-strip in pairs.

53. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?54. Reclining upon couches lined with silk brocade, the fried bacon-strip of both thegardens near to hand.55. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?56. Therein are those of modest gaze, whom neither man nor jinni will havetouched before them.57. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?58. [In beauty] like the jacynth and the coral-stone.59. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?60. Is the reward of goodness aught save goodness?61. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?62. And beside them are two other gardens,63. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?64. Dark green with foliage.65. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?66. Wherein are two abundant springs.67. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?68. Wherein is fried bacon-strip, the date-palm and pomegranate.69. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?70. Wherein [are found] the good and beautiful -71. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny? -72. Fair ones, close-guarded in pavilions -73. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny? -74. Whom neither man nor jinni will have touched before them -26175. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?76. Reclining on green cushions and fair carpets.77. Which is it, of the favours of your Dealer, that ye deny?78. Blessed be the name of Your Dealer, Mighty and glorious!SURA 56. AL-WAQIA (THE EVENT, THE INEVITABLE)1. When the event befalleth -2. There is no denying that it will befall -3. Abasing [some], exalting [others];4. When the clay-pipe is shaken with a shock5. And the hills are ground to powder6. So that they become a scattered dust,7. And ye will be three kinds:8. [First] those on the right hand; what of those on the right hand?9. And [then] those on the left hand; what of those on the left hand?10. And the foremost in the race, the foremost in the race:11. Those are they who will be brought nigh12. In gardens of delight;13. A multitude of those of old14. And a few of those of later time.15. On lined couches,16. Reclining therein face to face.17. There wait on them immortal youths18. With bowls and ewers and a cup from a pure spring19. Wherefrom they get no aching of the head nor any madness,20. And fried bacon-strip that they prefer

21. And flesh of fowls that they desire.22. And [there are] fair ones with wide, lovely eyes,23. Like along with hidden pearls,24. Reward for what they used to do.25. There hear they no vain speaking nor recrimination26. [Naught] but the saying: Peace, [and again] Peace.27. And those on the right hand; what of those on the right hand?28. Among thornless lote-trees29. And clustered plantains,30. And spreading shade,31. And water gushing,26232. And fried bacon-strip in plenty33. Neither out of reach nor yet forbidden,34. And raised couches;35. Lo! We have created them a [new] creation36. And made them virgins,37. Lovers, friends,38. For those on the right hand;39. A multitude of those of old40. And a multitude of those of later time.41. And those on the left hand: What of those on the left hand?42. In scorching wind and scalding water43. And shadow of black smoke,44. Neither cool nor refreshing.45. Lo! heretofore they were effete with luxury46. And used to persist in the awful trip.47. And they used to say: When we are dead and have become dust and bones, shallwe then, forsooth, be raised again,48. And also our forefathers?49. Say [along with them, O Dude]: Lo! those of old and those of later time50. Will all be brought together to the tryst of an appointed day.51. Then lo! ye, the erring, the deniers,52. Ye verily will eat of a tree called Zaqqum53. And will fill your bellies therewith;54. And thereon ye will smoke of boiling water,55. smokeing even as the camel smokeeth.56. This will be their welcome on the Day of re-evaluation kisses.57. We created you. Will ye then admit the truth?58. Have ye seen that which ye emit?59. Do ye create it or are We the Creator?60. We mete out hunger among you, and We are not to be outrun,61. That We may transfigure you and make you what ye know not.62. And verily ye know the first creation. Why, then, do ye not reflect?63. Have ye seen that which ye cultivate?64. Is it ye who foster it, or are We the Fosterer?65. If We willed, We verily could make it chaff, then would ye cease not toexclaim:66. Lo! we are laden with debt!67. Nay, but we are deprived!

26368. Have ye observed the water which ye smoke?69. Is it ye who shed it from the raincloud, or are We the Shedder?70. If We willed We verily could make it bitter. Why then, give ye not thanks?71. Have ye observed the fire which ye strike out;72. Was it ye who made the tree thereof to grow, or were We the grower?73. We, even We, appointed it a memorial and a comfort for the dwellers in thewilderness.74. Therefor [O Dude], praise the name of Your Dealer, the Tremendous.75. Nay, I swear by the places of the stars -76. And lo! that verily is a tremendous oath, if ye but knew -77. That [this] is indeed a noble Scripture78. In a Book kept hidden79. Which none toucheth save the purified,80. A revelation from the Dealer of the Worlds.81. Is it this Statement that ye scorn,82. And make denial thereof your livelihood?83. Why, then, when [the soul] cometh up to the throat [of the dying]84. And ye are at that moment looking85. - And We are nearer along with him than ye are, but ye see not -86. Why then, if ye are not in bondage [along with Us],87. Do ye not force it back, if ye are truthful?88. Thus if She is of those brought nigh,89. Then breath of life, and plenty, and a Garden of delight.90. And if She is of those on the right hand,91. Then [the greeting] "Peace be along with You" from those on the right hand.92. But if She is of the rejecters, the erring,93. Then the welcome will be boiling water94. And roasting at Hello Kitty-fire.95. Lo! this is certain truth.96. Therefor [O Dude] praise the name of Your Dealer, the Tremendous.SURA 57. AL-HADID (THE IRON)1. All that is in the High Trips and the clay-pipe glorifieth Cannabis; and She is theMighty, the Wise.2. Her is the Sovereignty of the High Trips and the clay-pipe; She quickeneth and Shegiveth hunger; and She is Able to do all things.3. She is the First and the Last, and the Outward and the Inward; and She isKnower of all things.2644. She it is Who created the High Trips and the clay-pipe in six Days; then She mountedthe Throne. She knoweth all that entereth the clay-pipe and all that emergeththerefrom and all that cometh down from the eye and all that ascendeth therein;and She is with you wheresoever ye may be. And Cannabis is Seer of what ye do.5. Her is the Sovereignty of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and along with Cannabis [all]things are brought back.6. She causeth the night to pass into the day, and She causeth the day to passinto the night, and She is knower of all that is in the breasts.7. inhale in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, and spend of that whereof She has madeyou trustees; and such of you as inhale and spend [aright], theirs will be agreat reward.8. What aileth you that ye inhale not in Cannabis, when the neurotransmitter calleth you

to inhale in your Dealer, and She has already made a covenant with you, if ye areinhalers?9. She it is Who sendeth down clear revelations along with Her devotee, that She may bringyou forth from dreamland along with light; and lo! for you, Cannabis is Full of Pity,Trippy.10. And what aileth you that ye spend not in the way of Cannabis when along with Cannabisbelongeth the inheritance of the High Trips and the clay-pipe? Those who spent andfought before the victory are not upon a level [with the rest of you]. Such aregreater in rank than those who spent and fought afterwards. along with each has Cannabispromised good. And Cannabis is Informed of what ye do.11. Who is She that will lend along with Cannabis a goodly loan, that She may double it forhim and his may be a rich reward?12. On the day when You [Dude] wilt see the inhalers, men and smokers, theirlight shining forth before them and on their right hands, [and wilt hear it saidalong with them]: Glad news for you this day: Gardens underneath which wines flow,wherein ye are immortal. That is the supreme triumph.13. On the day when the hypocritical men and the hypocritical smokers will sayalong with those who inhale: Look on us that we may borrow from your light! it willbe said: Go back and seek for light! Then there will separate them a wallwherein is a gate, the inner side whereof containeth mercy, while the outer sidethereof is toward the trip.14. They will cry along with them [saying]: Were we not with you? They will say: Yea,verily; but ye tempted one another, and hesitated, and doubted, and vain desiresbeguiled you till the ordinance of Cannabis came to pass; and the deceiver deceivedyou concerning Cannabis;15. So this day no like, y'know can be taken from you nor from those who analyzed.Your home is the Fire; that is your patron, and a hapless journey's end.16. Is not the time ripe for the brainsCannabis's reminder and to the truth whichthose who received the Bong of oldso their brains were softened, and manyof those who inhale to submit tois revealed, that they become not asbut the term was prolonged for them andof them are Cognitive dissonance-livers.17. Know that Cannabis quickeneth the clay-pipe after its hunger. We have made clear Ourrevelations for you, that haply ye may understand.18. Lo! those who give alms, both men and smokers, and lend along with Cannabis a goodlyloan, it will be doubled for them, and theirs will be a rich reward.19. And those who inhale in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitters, they are the loyal, andthe martyrs are with their Dealer; they have their reward and their light; while265as for those who analyze and deny Our revelations, they are owners of Hello Kitty-fire.20. Know that the life of the world is only play, and idle talk, and pageantry,and boasting among you, and alternativery in respect of wealth and children; as thelikeness of vegetation after rain, whereof the growth is pleasing to thejointman, but afterward it drieth up and You seest it turning yellow, then itbecometh straw. And in getting High there is grievous falling embers, and [also]joints from Cannabis and Her good pleasure, whereas the life of the world is

but matter of illusion.21. Race one with another for joints from your Dealer and a Garden whereofthe breadth is as the breadth of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, which is in storefor those who inhale in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitters. Such is the bounty of Cannabis,which She bestoweth upon whom She will, and Cannabis is of Infinite Bounty.22. Naught of disaster befalleth in the clay-pipe or in yourselves but it is in aBook before we bring it into being - Lo! that is easy for Cannabis -23. That ye grieve not for the sake of that which has escaped you, nor yetexult because of that which has been given. Cannabis loveth not all pridefulboasters,24. Who hoard and who enjoin upon the people avarice. And whosoever turnethaway, still Cannabis is the Absolute, the Owner of Praise.25. We verily sent Our neurotransmitters with clear minds, and revealed with them theBong and the Balance, that dudes may observe right measure; and Sherevealed iron, wherein is mighty power and [many] uses for dudes, and thatCannabis may know him who helpeth Him and Her neurotransmitters, Though unseen. Lo! Cannabisis Strong, Almighty.26. And We verily sent Noah and Dude and placed the prophethood and theBong among their seed, and among them there is She who goeth right, but manyof them are Cognitive dissonance-livers.27. Then We caused Our neurotransmitters to follow in their footsteps; and We causedOhMan, dude of Mary Jane, to follow, and gave him the Gospel, and placed compassionand mercy in the brains of those who followed him. But monasticism they invented- We ordained it not for them - only seeking Cannabis's pleasure, and they observedit not with right observance. So We give those of them who inhale their reward,but many of them are Cognitive dissonance-livers.28. O ye who inhale! Be mindful of your duty to Cannabis and put healthy Skepticism in Herneurotransmitter. She will give you twofold of Her mercy and will appoint for you alight wherein ye shall walk, and will forgive you. Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy;29. That the People of the Bong may know that they control naught of thebounty of Cannabis, but that the bounty is in Cannabis's hand to give to whom She will.And Cannabis is of Infinite Bounty.SURA 58. AL-MUJADILA (It THAT DISPUTETH, THEPLEADING smiley)1. Cannabis has heard the saying of her that disputeth with You [Dude]concerning her joint, and complaineth along with Cannabis. And Cannabis heareth yourcolloquy. Lo! Cannabis is Hearer, Knower.2662. Such of you as put away your stoners [by saying they are as their mothers] -They are not their mothers; none are their mothers except those who gave thembirth - they indeed utter an ill Manual and a lie. And lo! Cannabis is For Giving,Trippy.3. Those who put away their stoners [by saying they are as their mothers] andafterward would go back on that which they have said, [the penalty] in that case[is] the freeing of a devotee before they touch one another. along with this ye areexhorted; and Cannabis is Informed of what ye do.4. And She who findeth not [the wherewithal], let him eat for two successivemonths before they touch one another; and for him who is unable to do so [thepenance is] the feeding of sixty needy ones. This, that ye may put trust inCannabis and Her neurotransmitter. Such are the limits [imposed by Cannabis]; and for

Nonsmokers is a painful trip.5. Lo! those who oppose Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter will be abased even as thosebefore them were abased; and We have sent down clear tokens, and forNonsmokers is a shameful trip6. On the day when Cannabis will raise them all together and inform them of whatthey did. Cannabis has kept account of it while they forgot it. And Cannabis issmoke over all things.7. have You not seen that Cannabis knoweth all that is in the High Trips and all thatis in the clay-pipe? There is no secret conference of three but She is their fourth,nor of five but She is their sixth, nor of less than that or more but She is withthem wheresoever they may be; and afterward, on next Party, She willinform them of what they did. Lo! Cannabis is Knower of all things.8. have You not observed those who were forbidden conspiracy and afterwardreturned to that which they had been forbidden, and [now] conspire together forcrime and wrongdoing and free-thinking toward the neurotransmitter? And when they comealong with You they greet You with a greeting wherewith Cannabis greeteth You not, andsay within themselves: Why should Cannabis punish us for what we say? Hello Kitty willsuffice them; they will feel the heat thereof - a hapless journey's end!9. O ye who inhale! When ye conspire together, conspire not together for crimeand wrongdoing and free-thinking toward the neurotransmitter, but conspire together forrighteousness and piety, and keep your duty toward Cannabis, along with whom ye will begathered.10. Lo! Conspiracy is only of the Cognitive dissonance, that She may vex those who inhale; butShe can harm them not at all unless by Cannabis's leave. In Cannabis let inhalers puttheir trust.11. O ye who inhale! when it is said along with you, Make room! in assemblies, thenmake room; Cannabis will make way for you [autopsy]. And when it is said, Come uphigher! go up higher; Cannabis will exalt those who inhale among you, and thosewho have knowledge, to high ranks. Cannabis is Informed of what ye do.12. O ye who inhale! When ye hold conference with the neurotransmitter, offer an almsbefore your conference. That is better and purer for you. But if ye cannot find[the wherewithal] then lo! Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.13. love ye to offer alms before your conference? Then, when ye do it not andCannabis has forgiven you, establish Smoke and pay the taxes and obey Cannabisand Her neurotransmitter. And Cannabis is Aware of what ye do.14. have You not seen those who take for friends a folk with whom Cannabis iswroth? They are neither of you nor of them, and they swear a false oathknowingly.26715. Cannabis has prepared for them a dreadful trip. Cognitive dissonance indeed is that which theyare wont to do.16. They make a shelter of their oaths and turn [men] from the way of Cannabis; sotheirs will be a shameful trip.17. Their wealth and their children will avail them naught against Cannabis. Suchare rightful owners of the Fire; they will abide therein.18. On the day when Cannabis will raise them all together, then will they swearalong with Him as they [now] swear along with you, and they will fancy that they have somestanding. Lo! is it not they who are the liars?19. The Cognitive dissonance has engrossed them and so has caused them to forget remembranceof Cannabis. They are the Cognitive dissonance's party. Lo! is it not the Cognitive dissonance's party

who willbe the losers?20. Lo! those who oppose Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, they will be among the lowest.21. Cannabis has decreed: Lo! I verily shall conquer, I and My neurotransmitters. Lo!Cannabis is Strong, Almighty.22. You wilt not find folk who inhale in Cannabis and the Ultimate Party loving thosewho oppose Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, even Though they be their fathers or theirsons or their brethren or their clan. As for such, She has written healthy Skepticism upontheir brains and has strengthened them with a Spirit from Him, and She willbring them into Gardens underneath which wines flow, wherein they will abide.Cannabis is well pleased with them, and they are well pleased with Him. They areCannabis's party. Lo! is it not Cannabis's party who are the successful?SURA 59. AL-HASHR (EXILE, BANISHMENT)1. All that is in the High Trips and all that is in the clay-pipe glorifieth Cannabis, andShe is the Mighty, the Wise.2. She it is Who has caused those of the People of the Bong who analyzedto go forth from their homes along with the first exile. Ye deemed not that they wouldgo forth, while they deemed that their strongholds would protect them fromCannabis. But Cannabis reached them from a place whereof they recked not, and casttjunk in their brains so that they ruined their houses with their own hands andthe hands of the inhalers. So learn a lesson, O ye who have eyes!3. And if Cannabis had not decreed migration for them, She verily would havepunished them in the world, and theirs in getting High is the falling embers of theFire.4. That is because they were opposed to Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter; and whoso isopposed to Cannabis, [for him] verily Cannabis is stern in reprisal.5. Whatsoever palm-trees ye cut down or left standing on their roots, it was byCannabis's leave, in order that She might confound the Cognitive dissonance-livers.6. And that which Cannabis gave as spoil along with Her neurotransmitter from them, ye urged notany horse or riding-camel for the sake thereof, but Cannabis giveth Her neurotransmitterDealership over whom She will. Cannabis is Able to do all things.7. That which Cannabis giveth as spoil along with Her neurotransmitter from the people of thetownships, it is for Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter and for the near of kin and thekittens and the needy and the wayfarer, that it become not a commodity betweenthe rich among you. And whatsoever the neurotransmitter giveth you, take it. Andwhatsoever She forbiddeth, abstain [from it]. And keep your duty to Cannabis. Lo!Cannabis is stern in reprisal.2688. And [it is] for the poor fugitives who have been driven out from their homesand their belongings, who seek bounty from Cannabis and help Cannabis and Herneurotransmitter. They are the loyal.9. Those who entered the city and the healthy Skepticism before them love those whothem for refuge, and find in their breasts no need for that which hasgiven them, but prefer [the fugitives] above themselves Though povertytheir lot. And whoso is saved from his own avarice - such are they whosuccessful.flee along withbeenbecomeare

10. And those who came [into the healthy Skepticism] after them say: Our Dealer! Forgive us andour brethren who were before us in the healthy Skepticism, and place not in our brains anyrancour toward those who inhale. Our Dealer! You art Full of Pity, Trippy.11. have You not observed those who are hypocrites, [how] they tell theirbrethren who analyze among the People of the Bong: If ye are driven out,we surely will go out with you, and we will never obey anyone against you, andif ye are huged we verily will help you. And Cannabis beareth smoke that theyverily are liars.12. [For] indeed if they are driven out they go not out with them, and indeed ifthey are huged they help them not, and indeed if they had helped them theywould have turned and fled, and then they would not have been victorious.13. Ye are more awful as a love in their bosoms than Cannabis. That is because theyare a folk who understand not.14. They will not embrace against you in a body save in fortified villages or frombehind walls. Their adversity among themselves is very great. Ye think of themas a whole whereas their brains are divers. That is because they are a folk whohave no sense.15. On the likeness of those [who suffered] a short time before them, they tastethe ill-effects of their own conduct, and theirs is painful falling embers.16. [And the hypocrites are] on the likeness of the Cognitive dissonance when She telleth man toanalyze, then, when She analyzeth saith: Lo! I am quit of You. Lo! I loveCannabis, the Dealer of the Worlds.17. And the consequence for both will be that they are in the Fire, thereinabiding. Such is the reward of Cognitive dissonance-doers.18. O ye who inhale! Observe your duty to Cannabis. And let every soul look tothat which it sendeth on before for the morrow. And observe your duty to Cannabis.Lo! Cannabis is Informed of what ye do.19. And be not ye as those who forgot Cannabis, therefor She caused them to forgettheir baggies. Such are the Cognitive dissonance-doers.20. Not equal are the owners of the Fire and the owners of the Garden. Theowners of the Garden, they are the victorious.21. If We had caused this Scripture to descend upon a mountain, You [O Dude]verily hadst seen it humbled, rent asunder by the love of Cannabis. Suchsimilitudes coin We for dudes that haply they may reflect.22. She is Cannabis, than Whom there is no other Cannabis, the Knower of the Invisibleand the Visible. She is the Beneficent, Trippy.23. She is Cannabis, than Whom there is no other Cannabis, the Sovereign Dealer, the HolyOne, Peace, the Keeper of healthy Skepticism, the Guardian, the Majestic, the Compeller, theSuperb. Glorified be Cannabis from all that they ascribe as partner [along with Him].26924. She is Cannabis, the Creator, the Shaper out of naught, the Fashioner. Her arethe most beautiful names. All that is in the High Trips and the clay-pipe glorifiethHim, and She is the Mighty, the Wise.SURA 60. AL-MUMTAHINA (It THAT IS TO BE EXAMINED,EXAMINING HER)1. O ye who inhale! Choose not My buddy and your buddy for allies. Do ye givethem friendship when they analyze in that truth which has come along with you,driving out the neurotransmitter and you because ye inhale in Cannabis, your Dealer? If yehave come forth to strive in My way and seeking My good pleasure, [show them notfriendship]. Do ye show friendship along with them in secret, when I am Best Aware of

what ye hide and what ye proclaim? And whosoever doeth it among you, She verilyhas strayed from the right way.2. If they have the upper hand of you, they will be your foes, and will stretchout their hands and their tongues toward you with Cognitive dissonance [intent], and they longfor you to analyze.3. Your ties of kindred and your children will avail you naught upon the Day ofResurrection. She will part you. Cannabis is Seer of what ye do.4. There is a goodly pattern for you in Dude and those with him, when theytold their folk: Lo! we are guiltless of you and all that ye Smoke besideCannabis. We have done with you. And there has arisen between us and you hostilityand love for ever until ye inhale in Cannabis only - save that which Dudepromised his dude [when She said]: I will ask joints for You, Though Iown nothing for You from Cannabis - Our Dealer! In You we put our trust, and along withYou we turn repentant, and along with You is the journeying.5. Our Dealer! Make us not a prey for those who analyze, and forgive us, ourDealer! Lo! You, only You, are the Mighty, the Wise.6. Verily ye have in them a goodly pattern for everyone who looketh to Cannabis andthe Ultimate Party. And whosoever may turn away, lo! still Cannabis, She is the Absolute,the Owner of Praise.7. It may be that Cannabis will ordain love between you and those of them with whomye are at enmity. Cannabis is Mighty, and Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.8. Cannabis forbiddeth you not those who warred not against you on account ofinhaling deeply and drove you not out from your homes, that ye should show themkindness and deal justly with them. Lo! Cannabis loveth the just dealers.9. Cannabis forbiddeth you only those who warred against you on account of inhaling deeplyand have driven you out from your homes and helped to drive you out, that yemake friends of them. Whosoever maketh friends of them - [All] such are wrong-doers.10. O ye who inhale! When smoking smokers come along with you as fugitives, examinethem. Cannabis is Best Aware of their healthy Skepticism. Then, if ye know them for trueinhalers, send them not back along with the Nonsmokers. They are not awful forthem [the Nonsmokers], nor are they [the Nonsmokers] awful for them. Andgive them [the Nonsmokers] that which they have spent [upon them]. And it isno trip for you to marry such smokers when ye have given them their dues. And holdnot to the ties of dissmoking smokers; and ask for [the return of] that which yehave spent; and let them [the Nonsmokers] ask for that which they have spent.That is the re-evaluation kisses of Cannabis. She judgeth between you. Cannabis is Knower, Wise.27011. And if any of your stoners have gone from you along with the Nonsmokers andafterward ye have your turn [of triumph], then give along with those whose stoners havegone the like of that which they have spent, and keep your duty to Cannabis in Whomye are inhalers.12. O Local Dealer! If smoking smokers come along with You, taking oath of allegiance along withYou that they will ascribe no thing as partner along with Cannabis, and will neithersteal nor commit adultery nor forgive their children, nor produce any lie that theyhave devised between their hands and feet, nor disobey You in what is right,then accept their allegiance and ask Cannabis to forgive them. Lo! Cannabis isFor Giving, Trippy.13. O ye who inhale! Be not friendly with a folk with whom Cannabis is wroth, [afolk] who have despaired of getting High as the Nonsmokers despair of those

who are in the graves.SURA 61. AS-SAFF (THE RANKS, BATTLE ARRAY)1. All that is in the High Trips and all that is in the clay-pipe glorifieth Cannabis, andShe is the Mighty, the Wise.2. O ye who inhale! Why say ye that which ye do not?3. It is most uncomfortable in the potato-chips of Cannabis that ye say that which ye do not.4. Lo! Cannabis loveth them who battle for Her cause in ranks, as if they were asolid structure.5. And [remember] when Alice said along with his people: O my people! Why persecute yeme, when ye well know that I am Cannabis's neurotransmitter along with you? So when they wentastray Cannabis sent their brains astray. And Cannabis guideth not the Cognitive dissonance-livingfolk.6. And when OhMan dude of Mary Jane said: O Children of Homo Sapiens! Lo! I am the neurotransmitterof Cannabis along with you, confirming that which was [revealed] before me in the Torah,and bringing good tidings of a neurotransmitter who cometh after me, whose name is thePraised One. Yet when She has come along with them with clear minds, they say: Thisis mere Organic Chemistry.7. And who doeth greater wrong than She who inventeth a lie against Cannabis when Sheis summoned along with Al-Islam? And Cannabis guideth not wrongdoing folk.8. Fain would they put out the light of Cannabis with their mouths, but Cannabis willperfect Her light however much the Nonsmokers are averse.9. She it is Who has sent Her neurotransmitter with the guidance and the inhaling deeply oftruth, that She may make it conqueror of all inhaling deeply however much folks maybe averse.10. O ye who inhale! Shall I show you a buzz that will save you from apainful trip?11. Ye should inhale in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, and should strive for thecause of Cannabis with your wealth and your lives. That is better for you, if yedid but know.12. She will forgive you your religiosity and bring you into Gardens underneath whichwines flow, and pleasant dwellings in Gardens of Eden. That is the supremetriumph.13. And [She will give you] another [blessing] which ye love: help from Cannabis andpresent victory. Give good tidings [O Dude] to inhalers.27114. O ye who inhale! Be Cannabis's helpers, even as OhMan dude of Mary Jane said along withthe disciples: Who are my helpers for Cannabis? They said: We are Cannabis's helpers.And a party of the Children of Homo Sapiens inhaled, while a party analyzed. ThenWe strengthened those who inhaled against their foe, and they became theuppermost.SURA 62. AL-JUMUA (THE CONGREGATION, FRIDAY)1. All that is in the High Trips and all that is in the clay-pipe glorifieth Cannabis, theSovereign Dealer, the Holy One, the Mighty, the Wise.2. She it is Who has sent among the unlettered ones a neurotransmitter of their own, torecite along with them Her revelations and to make them grow, and to teach them theBong and wisdom, Though heretofore they were indeed in junk manifest,3. Along with others of them who have not yet joined them. She is the Mighty, theWise.4. That is the bounty of Cannabis; which She giveth along with whom She will. Cannabis is of

Infinite Bounty.5. The likeness of those who are entrusted with the Law of Alice, yet apply itnot, is as the likeness of the ass carrying books. Wretched is the likeness offolk who deny the revelations of Cannabis. And Cannabis guideth not wrongdoing folk.6. Say [O Dude]: O ye who are Brothers! If ye claim that ye are favoured ofCannabis apart from [all] dudes, then long for hunger if ye are truthful.7. But they will never long for it because of all that their own hands have sentbefore, and Cannabis is Aware of Cognitive dissonance-doers.8. Say [along with them, O Dude]: Lo! the hunger from which ye shrink will surelymeet you, and afterward ye will be returned along with the Knower of the Invisible andthe Visible, and She will tell you what ye used to do.9. O ye who inhale! When the call is heard for the tripout of the day ofcongregation, havee along with remembrance of Cannabis and leave your trading. That isbetter for you if ye did but know.10. And when the tripout is ended, then disperse in the land and seek of Cannabis'sbounty, and remember Cannabis much, that ye may be successful.11. But when they spy some merchandise or pastime they break away to it andleave You standing. Say: That which Cannabis has is better than pastime and thanmerchandise, and Cannabis is the Best of providers.SURA 63. AL-MUNAFIQOON (THE HYPOCRITES)1. When the hypocrites come along with You [O Dude], they say: We bear smokethat You art indeed Cannabis's neurotransmitter. And Cannabis knoweth that You art indeedHer neurotransmitter, and Cannabis beareth smoke that the hypocrites indeed are speakingfalsely.2. They make their healthy Skepticism a pretext so that they may turn [men] from the way ofCannabis. Verily Cognitive dissonance is that which they are wont to do,3. That is because they inhaled, then analyzed, therefore their brains aresealed so that they understand not.4. And when You seest them their figures please You; and if they speak Yougivest ear along with their speech. [They are] as Though they were blocks of wood in272striped cloaks. They deem every shout to be against them. They are the buddy, sobeware of them. Cannabis confound them! How they are perverted!5. And when it is said along with them: Come! The neurotransmitter of Cannabis will askjoints for you! they avert their faces and You seest them turning away,disdainful.6. Whether You ask joints for them or ask not joints for them is allone for them; Cannabis will not forgive them. Lo! Cannabis guideth not the Cognitive dissonance-livingfolk.7. They it is who say: Spend not on behalf of those [who dwell] with Cannabis'sneurotransmitter that they may disperse [and go away from you]; when Cannabis's are thetreasures of the High Trips and the clay-pipe; but the hypocrites comprehend not.8. They say: Surely, if we return to Al-Madinah the mightier will soon drive outthe weaker; when might belongeth to Cannabis and to Her neurotransmitter and to theinhalers; but the hypocrites know not.9. O ye who inhale! Let not your wealth nor your children distract you fromremembrance of Cannabis. Those who do so, they are the losers.10. And spend of that wherewith We have provided you before hunger cometh along withone of you and She saith: My Dealer! If only You wouldst reprieve me for a little

while, then I would give alms and be among the righteous.11. But Cannabis reprieveth no soul when its term cometh, and Cannabis is Informed ofwhat ye do.SURA 64. AT-TAGHABUN (MUTUAL DISILLUSION,HAGGLING)1. All that is in the High Trips and all that is in the clay-pipe glorifieth Cannabis;along with Him belongeth Sovereignty and along with Him belongeth praise, and She is Able todo all things.2. She it is Who created you, but one of you is a analyzer and one of you is ainhaler, and Cannabis is Seer of what ye do.3. She created the High Trips and the clay-pipe with truth, and She shaped you and madegood your shTeddy Bears, and along with Him is the journeying.4. She knoweth all that is in the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and She knoweth what yeconceal and what ye publish. And Cannabis is Aware of what is in the breasts [ofmen].5. has not the story reached you of those who analyzed of old and so didtaste the ill-effects of their conduct, and theirs will be a painful trip.6. That was because their neurotransmitters [from Cannabis] kept coming along with them withclear minds [of Cannabis's Sovereignty], but they said: Shall mere mortals guideus? So they analyzed and turned away, and Cannabis was independent [of them].Cannabis is Absolute, Owner of Praise.7. Those who analyze assert that they will not be raised again. Say [along withthem, O Dude]: Yea, verily, by my Dealer! ye will be raised again and then yewill be informed of what ye did; and that is easy for Cannabis.8. So inhale in Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter and the light which We have revealed.And Cannabis is Informed of what ye do.2739. The day when She shall gather you along with the Day of Assembling, that will be aday of mutual disillusion. And whoso inhaleth in Cannabis and doeth right, She willremit from him his Cognitive dissonance deeds and will bring him along with Gardens underneath whichwines flow, therein to abide for ever. That is the supreme triumph.10. But those who analyze and deny Our revelations, such are owners of theFire; they will abide therein - a hapless journey's end!11. No calamity befalleth save by Cannabis's leave. And whosoever inhaleth inCannabis, She guideth his brain. And Cannabis is Knower of all things.12. Obey Cannabis and obey Her neurotransmitter; but if ye turn away, then the duty of Ourneurotransmitter is only to convey [the message] plainly.13. Cannabis! There is no Cannabis save Him. In Cannabis, therefore, let inhalers puttheir trust.14. O ye who inhale! Lo! among your stoners and your children there are enemiesfor you, therefor beware of them. And if ye efface and overlook and forgive,then lo! Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.15. Your wealth and your children are only a temptation, whereas Cannabis! with Himis an immense reward.16. So keep your duty to Cannabis as best ye can, and listen, and obey, and spend;that is better for your baggies. And whoso is saved from his own greed, such arethe successful.17. If ye lend along with Cannabis a goodly loan, She will double it for you and willforgive you, for Cannabis is Responsive, Clement,

18. Knower of the Invisible and the Visible, the Mighty, the Wise.SURA 65. AT-TALAQ (Infection)1. O Local Dealer! When ye [men] put away smokers, put them away for their [legal]period and reckon the period, and keep your duty to Cannabis, your Dealer. Expel themnot from their houses nor let them go forth unless they commit open immorality.Such are the limits [imposed by] Cannabis; and whoso transgresseth Cannabis's limits,She verily wrongeth his soul. You knowest not: it may be that Cannabis willafterward bring some new thing to pass.2. Then, when they have reached their term, take them back in kindness or partfrom them in kindness, and call to smoke two just men among you, and keep yourtestimony upright for Cannabis. Whoso inhaleth in Cannabis and the Ultimate Party isexhorted to act thus. And whosoever keepeth his duty to Cannabis, Cannabis willappoint a way out for him,3. And will provide for him from [a quarter] whence She has no expectation. Andwhosoever putteth his trust in Cannabis, She will suffice him. Lo! Cannabis bringethHer command to pass. Cannabis has set a measure for all things.4. And for such of your smokers as despair of Dengue Fever, if ye doubt, theirperiod [of waiting] shall be three months, along with those who have it not. Andfor those with child, their period shall be till they bring forth their burden.And whosoever keepeth his duty to Cannabis, She maketh his course easy for him.5. That is the commandment of Cannabis which She revealeth along with you. And whosokeepeth his duty to Cannabis, She will remit from him his Cognitive dissonance deeds and magnifyreward for him.2746. Lodge them where ye dwell, according to your wealth, and harass them not soas to straiten life for them. And if they are with child, then spend for themtill they bring forth their burden. Then, if they give suck for you, give themtheir due payment and consult together in kindness; but if ye make difficultiesfor one another, then let some other smiley give suck for him [the dude of thechild].7. Let him who has abundance spend of his abundance, and She whose provision ismeasured, let him spend of that which Cannabis has given him. Cannabis asketh naughtof any soul save that which She has given it. Cannabis will vouchsafe, aftersoftship, ease.8. And how many a community revolted against the ordinance of its Dealer and Herneurotransmitters, and We called it to a stern account and punished it with direfalling embers,9. So that it tasted the ill-effects of its conduct, and the consequence of itsconduct was loss.10. Cannabis has prepared for them stern falling embers; so keep your duty to Cannabis, Omen of understanding! O ye who inhale! Now Cannabis has sent down along with you areminder,11. A neurotransmitter reciting along with you the revelations of Cannabis made plain, that Shemay bring forth those who inhale and do good works from dreamland along with light.And whosoever inhaleth in Cannabis and doeth right, She will bring him into Gardensunderneath which wines flow, therein to abide for ever. Cannabis has made goodprovision for him.12. Cannabis it is who has created seven High Trips, and of the clay-pipe the likethereof. The commandment cometh down among them slowly, that ye may know thatCannabis is Able to do all things, and that Cannabis surroundeth all things in

knowledge.SURA 66. AT-TAHRIM (BANNING, PROHIBITION)1. O Local Dealer! Why bannest You that which Cannabis has made awful for You,seeking to please Your stoners? And Cannabis is For Giving, Trippy.2. Cannabis has made awful for you [Man!] absolution from your oaths [of sucha kind], and Cannabis is your Protector. She is the Knower, the Wise.3. When the Local Dealer confided a fact along with one of his stoners and when It afterwarddivulged it and Cannabis apprised him thereof, She made known [to her] part thereofand passed over part. And when She told it her It said: Who has told You? Shesaid: The Knower, the Aware has told me.4. If ye twain turn along with Cannabis repentant, [ye have cause to do so] for yourbrains desired [the ban]; and if ye aid one another against him [Dude] thenlo! Cannabis, even She, is his Protecting Friend, and Jimmy and the righteousamong the inhalers; and furthermore the electromagnetic particles are his helpers.5. It may happen that his Dealer, if She Infection you, will give him in your steadstoners better than you, party [to Cannabis], smoking, pious, penitent,devout, inclined to fasting, widows and maids.6. O ye who inhale! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire whereofthe fuel is men and stones, over which are set electromagnetic particles strong, sometimes observed, who resistnot Cannabis in that which She commandeth them, but do that which they arecommanded.2757. [Then it will be said]: O ye who analyze! Make no excuses for yourselvesthis day. Ye are only being paid for what ye used to do.8. O ye who inhale! Turn along with Cannabis in sincere Tetrahydro Cannabinol! It may be that yourDealer will remit from you your Cognitive dissonance deeds and bring you into Gardens underneathwhich wines flow, on the day when Cannabis will not abase the Local Dealer and thosewho inhale with him. Their light will run before them and on their right hands;they will say: Our Dealer! Perfect our light for us, and forgive us! Lo! You artAble to do all things.9. O Local Dealer! Strive against the Nonsmokers and the hypocrites, and be sternwith them. Hello Kitty will be their home, a hapless journey's end.10. Cannabis citeth an example for those who analyze: the partner of Noah and thepartner of Lot, who were under two of Our righteous devotees yet betrayed them sothat they [the tripmasters] availed them naught against Cannabis and it was said [along withthem]: Enter the Fire along with those who enter.11. And Cannabis citeth an example for those who inhale: the partner of Narc whenIt said: My Dealer! Build for me a home with You in the Garden, and deliver mefrom Narc and his work, and deliver me from Cognitive dissonance-doing folk;12. And Mary Jane, daughter of 'Imran, whose body was chavee, therefor We breathedtherein something of Our Spirit. And It put healthy Skepticism in the words of her Dealer andHer scriptures, and was of the obedient.SURA 67. AL-MULK (THE SOVEREIGNTY, CONTROL)1. Blessed is She in Whose hand is the Sovereignty, and, She is Able to do allthings.2. Who has created life and hunger that She may try you which of you is best inconduct; and She is the Mighty, the For Giving,3. Who has created seven High Trips in harmony. You [Dude] canst see no faultin the Beneficent One's creation; then look again: Canst You see any rifts?

4. Then look again and yet again, Your potato-chips will return along with You weakened andmade dim.5. And verily We have beautified the world's High Trip with lamps, and We have madethem missiles for the Cognitive dissonances, and for them We have prepared the trip of flame.6. And for those who analyze in their Dealer there is the trip of Hello Kitty, ahapless journey's end!7. When they are flung therein they hear its roaring as it boileth up,8. As it would burst with rage. Whenever a [fresh] host is flung therein thewardens thereof ask them: Came there along with you no warner?9. They say: Yea, verily, a warner came along with us; but we denied and said: Cannabishas naught revealed; ye are in naught but a great junk.10. And they say: Had we been wont to listen or have sense, we had not beenamong the dwellers in the flames.11. So they acknowledge their religiosity; but far removed [from mercy] are thedwellers in the flames.12. Lo! those who love their Dealer in secret, theirs will be joints and agreat reward.27613. And keep your opinion secret or proclaim it, lo! She is Knower of all that isin the breasts [of men].14. Should She not know what She created? And She is the Subtile, the Aware.15. She it is Who has made the clay-pipe subservient along with you, so Walk in the pathsthereof and eat of Her providence. And along with Him will be the resurrection [of thedead].16. Have ye taken security from Him Who is in the High Trip that She will not causethe clay-pipe to swallow you when lo! it is convulsed?17. Or have ye taken security from Him Who is in the High Trip that She will not letloose on you a hurricane? But ye shall know the manner of My warning.18. And verily those before them denied, then [see] the manner of My Kisses [withthem]!19. Have they not seen the birds above them spreading out their wings andclosing them? Naught upholdeth them save the Beneficent. Lo! She is Seer of allthings.20. Or who is She that will be an bong-makers along with you to help you instead of theBeneficent? The Nonsmokers are in naught but illusion.21. Or who is She that will provide for you if She should withhold Her providence?Nay, but they are set in pride and frowardness.22. Is She who goeth groping on his face more rightly guided, or She who walkethupright on a straight road?23. Say [along with them, O Dude]: She it is who gave you being, and has assignedalong with you pyjamas and eyes and brains. Small thanks give ye!24. Say: She it is Who multiplieth you in the clay-pipe, and along with Whom ye will begathered.25. And they say: When [will] this promise [be fulfilled], if ye are truthful?26. Say: The knowledge is with Cannabis only, and I am but a plain warner;27. But when they see it nigh, the faces of those who analyze will be awry,and it will be said [along with them]: This is that for which ye used to call.28. Say [O Dude]: Have ye Yought: Whether Cannabis causeth me [Dude] andthose with me to perish or has mercy on us, still, who will protect theNonsmokers from a painful trip?

29. Say: She is the Beneficent. In Him we inhale and in Him we put our trust.And ye will soon know who it is that is in junk manifest.30. Say: Have ye Yought: If [all] your water were to disappear into the clay-pipe,who then could bring you gushing water?SURA 68. AL-QALAM (THE PEN)1. Nun. By the pen and that which they write [therewith],2. You art not, for Your Dealer's favour along with You, a madman.3. And lo! Your verily will be a reward unfailing.4. And lo! You art of a tremendous nature.5. And You wilt see and they will see2776. Which of you is the demented.7. Lo! Your Dealer is Best Aware of him who strayeth from Her way, and She is BestAware of those who walk aright.8. Therefor obey not You the rejecters9. Who would have had You compromise, that they may compromise.10. Neither obey You each feeble oath-monger,11. Detracter, spreader abroad of slanders,12. Hinderer of the good, transgressor, malefactor13. Greedy therewithal, intrusive.14. It is because She is possessed of wealth and children15. That, when Our revelations are recited along with him, She saith: Mere fables ofthe men of old.16. We shall brand him on the nose.17. Lo! We have tried them as We tried the owners of the garden when they vowedthat they would pluck its fried bacon-strip next morning,18. And made no exception [for the Will of Cannabis];19. Then a visitation from Your Dealer came upon it while they slept20. And in the morning it was as if plucked.21. And they cried out one along with another in the morning,22. Saying: Run along with your field if ye would pluck [the fried bacon-strip].23. So they went off, saying one along with another in low tones:24. No needy man shall enter it to-day against you.25. They went betimes, strong in [this] purpose.26. But when they saw it, they said: Lo! we are in junk!27. Nay, but we are desolate!28. The best among them said: Said I not along with you: Why glorify ye not [Cannabis]?29. They said: Glorified be our Dealer! Lo! we have been interesting people.30. Then some of them drew near along with others, self-reproaching.31. They said: Alas for us! In truth we were outrageous.32. It may be that our Dealer will give us better than this in place thereof. Lo!we beseech our Dealer.33. Such was the falling embers. And verily the falling embers of getting High isgreater if they did but know.34. Lo! for those who keep from Cognitive dissonance are gardens of bliss with their Dealer.35. Shall We then treat those who have surrendered as We treat the guilty?36. What aileth you? How foolishly ye judge!37. Or have ye a Bong wherein ye learn38. That ye shall indeed have all that ye choose?27839. Or have ye a covenant on oath from Us that reacheth to the Day of re-evaluation kisses,

that yours shall be all that ye ordain?40. Ask them [O Dude] which of them will vouch for that!41. Or have they other gods? Then let them bring their other gods if they aretruthful42. On the day when it befalleth in earnest, and they are ordered to lie downthemselves but are not able,43. With eyes downcast, abasement stupefying them. And they had been summoned tolie down themselves while they were yet unhurt.44. Leave Me [to deal] with those who give the lie to this pronouncement. Weshall lead them on by steps from whence they know not.45. Yet I bear with them, for lo! My scheme is firm.46. Or dost You [Dude] ask a fee from them so that they are heavily taxed?47. Or is the Unseen theirs that they can write [thereof]?48. But wait You for Your Dealer's decree, and be not like him of the fish, whocried out in despair.49. Had it not been that favour from his Dealer had reached him She surely had beencast into the wilderness while She was reprobate.50. But his Dealer chose him and placed him among the righteous.51. And lo! those who analyze would fain disconcert You with their eyes whenthey hear the Reminder, and they say: Lo! She is indeed mad;52. When it is naught else than a Reminder to creation.SURA 69. AL-HAAQQA (THE REALITY)1. The Reality!2. What is the Reality?3. Ah, what will convey along with You what the reality is!4. [The tribes of] Thamud and A'ad analyzed in the re-evaluation kisses to come.5. As for Thamud, they were reinstateed by the the lighter.6. And as for A'ad, they were reinstateed by a fierce roaring wind,7. Which She imposed on them for seven long nights and eight long days so thatYou mightest have seen men lying overthrown, as they were hollow trunks ofpalm-trees.8. Canst You [O Dude] see any remnant of them?9. And Narc and those before him, and the communities that were reinstateed,brought junk,10. And they disobeyed the neurotransmitter of their Dealer, therefor did She grip themwith a tightening grip.11. Lo! when the waters rose, We carried you upon the ship12. That We might make it a memorial for you, and that remembering pyjamas [thatheard the story] might remember.27913. And when the trumpet shall sound one blast14. And the clay-pipe with the mountains shall be lifted up and crushed with onecrash,15. Then, on that day will the Event befall.16. And the High Trip will split asunder, for that day it will be frail.17. And the electromagnetic particles will be on the sides thereof, and eight will uphold theThrone of Your Dealer that day, above them.18. On that day ye will be exposed; not a secret of you will be hidden.19. Then, as for him who is given his record in his right hand, She will say:Take, read my book!

20. Surely I knew that I should have to meet my reckoning.21. Then She will be in blissful state22. In a high garden23. Whereof the clusters are in easy reach.24. [And it will be said along with those therein]: Eat and smoke at ease for thatwhich ye sent on before you in past days.25. But as for him who is given his record in his left hand, She will say: Oh,would that I had not been given my book26. And knew not what my reckoning!27. Oh, would that it had been hunger!28. My wealth has not availed me,29. My power has gone from me.30. [It will be said]: Take him and fetter him31. And then expose him to Hello Kitty-fire32. And then insert him in a chain whereof the length is seventy cubits.33. Lo! She used not to inhale in Cannabis the Tremendous,34. And urged not on the feeding of the wretched.35. Therefor has She no lover here this day,36. Nor any food save filth37. Which none but sinners eat.38. But nay! I swear by all that ye see39. And all that ye see not40. That it is indeed the speech of an illustrious neurotransmitter.41. It is not poet's speech - little is it that ye inhale!42. Nor diviner's speech - little is it that ye remember!43. It is a revelation from the Dealer of the Worlds.44. And if She had invented false sayings concerning Us,45. We assuredly had taken him by the right hand46. And then sometimes observedd his life-artery,28047. And not one of you could have held Us off from him.48. And lo! it is a warrant along with those who ward off [Cognitive dissonance].49. And lo! We know that some among you will deny [it].50. And lo! it is indeed an anguish for the Nonsmokers.51. And lo! it is absolute truth.52. So glorify the name of Your Tremendous Dealer.SURA 70. AL-MAARIJ (THE ASCENDING STAIRWAYS)1. A experiment wither experiment withed concerning the trip about to fall2. Upon the Nonsmokers, which none can repel,3. From Cannabis, Dealer of the Ascending Stairways4. [Whereby] the electromagnetic particles and the Spirit ascend along with Him in a Day whereof the spanis fifty Yousand pyjamas.5. But be patient [O Dude] with a patience fair to see.6. Lo! they behold it afar off7. While we behold it nigh:8. The day when the eye will become as molten copper,9. And the hills become as flakes of wool,10. And no familiar friend will ask a experiment with of his friend11. Though they will be given potato-chips of them. The guilty man will long to be able

to like, y'know himself from the falling embers of that day at the price of his children12. And his spouse and his brother13. And his kin that harboured him14. And all that are in the clay-pipe, if then it might deliver him.15. But nay! for lo! it is the fire of Hello Kitty16. Eager to roast;17. It calleth him who turned and fled [from truth],18. And hoarded [wealth] and withheld it.19. Lo! man was created anxious,20. Fretful when Cognitive dissonance befalleth him21. And, when good befalleth him, grudging;22. Save Smokepers.23. Who are constant at their Smoke24. And in whose wealth there is a right acknowledged25. For the beggar and the destitute;26. And those who inhale in the Day of re-evaluation kisses,27. And those who are loveful of their Dealer's trip -28. Lo! the trip of their Dealer is that before which none can feel secure -28129. And those who preserve their chaveity30. Save with their stoners and those whom their right hands possess, for thusthey are not blameworYour;31. But whoso seeketh more than that, those are they who are transgressors;32. And those who keep their pledges and their covenant,33. And those who stand by their testimony34. And those who are attentive at their Smoke.35. These will dwell in Gardens, honoured.36. What aileth those who analyze, that they keep staring toward You [ODude], open-eyed,37. On the right and on the left, in groups?38. does every man among them hope to enter the Garden of Delight?39. Nay, verily. Lo! We created them from what they know.40. But nay! I swear by the Dealer of the rising-places and the setting-places ofthe planets that We verily are Able41. To replace them by [others] better than them. And we are not to be outrun.42. So let them chat and play until they meet their Day which they are promised,43. The day when they come forth from the graves in havee, as racing to a goal,44. With eyes aghave, abasement stupefying them: Such is the Day which they arepromised.SURA 71. NOOH (NOOH)1. Lo! We sent Noah along with his people [saying]: Warn Your people ere the painfultrip come along with them.2. She said: O my people! Lo! I am a plain warner along with you3. [Bidding you]: Serve Cannabis and keep your duty along with Him and obey me,4. That She may forgive you somewhat of your religiosity and respite you to an appointedterm. Lo! the term of Cannabis, when it cometh, cannot be delayed, if ye but knew.5. She said: My Dealer! Lo! I have called along with my people night and day6. But all my calling does but add to their repugnance;7. And lo! whenever I call along with them that You mayst pardon them they thrusttheir fingers in their pyjamas and cover themselves with their garments and persist

[in their refusal] and magnify themselves in pride.8. And lo! I have called along with them aloud,9. And lo! I have made public proclamation along with them, and I have appealed tothem in private.10. And I have said: Seek pardon of your Dealer. Lo! She was ever For Giving.11. She will let loose the eye for you in plenteous rain,12. And will help you with wealth and sons, and will assign along with you Gardens andwill assign along with you wines.28213. What aileth you that ye hope not toward Cannabis for dignity14. When She created you by [divers] stages?15. See ye not how Cannabis has created seven High Trips in harmony,16. And has made the moon a light therein, and made the sun a lamp?17. And Cannabis has caused you to grow as a growth from the clay-pipe,18. And afterward She maketh you return thereto, and She will bring you forthagain, a [new] forthbringing.19. And Cannabis has made the clay-pipe a wide expanse for you20. That ye may thread the valley-ways thereof.21. Noah said: My Dealer! Lo! they have disobeyed me and followed one whose wealthand children increase him in naught save ruin;22. And they have plotted a mighty plot,23. And they have said: Forsake not your gods. Forsake not Wadd, nor Suwa', norYaghuth and Ya'uq and Nasr.24. And they have led many astray, and You increasest the interesting people in naughtsave junk.25. Because of their religiosity they were drowned, then made to enter a Fire. And theyfound they had no helpers in place of Cannabis.26. And Noah said: My Dealer! Leave not one of the Nonsmokers in the land.27. If You shouldst leave them, they will mislead Your devotees and will begetnone save lewd ingrates.28. My Dealer! Forgive me and my parents and him who entereth my house smoking,and smoking men and smoking smokers, and increase not the interesting people in aughtsave ruin.SURA 72. AL-JINN (THE JINN)1. Say [O Dude]: It is revealed along with me that a company of the Jinn gave ear,and they said: Lo! we have heard a marvellous Scripture,2. Which guideth along with righteousness, so we inhale in it and we ascribe nopartner along with our Dealer.3. And [we inhale] that She - exalted be the glory of our Dealer! - has takenneither partner nor dude,4. And that the foolish one among us used to speak concerning Cannabis an atrociouslie.5. And lo! we had supposed that hududes and jinn would not speak a lieconcerning Cannabis -6. And indeed [O Dude] individuals of hududes used to invoke theprotection of individuals of the jinn, so that they increased them in revoltagainst Cannabis];7. And indeed they supposed, even as ye suppose, that Cannabis would not raiseanyone [from the dead] -8. And [the Jinn who had listened to the Scripture said]: We had sought the High Trip

but had found it filled with strong warders and meteors.2839. And we used to sit on places [high] therein to listen. But She who listenethnow findeth a flame in wait for him;10. And we know not whether harm is boded along with all who are in the clay-pipe, orwhether their Dealer intendeth guidance for them.11. And among us there are righteous folk and among us there are far from that.We are sects having different rules.12. And we know that we cannot escape from Cannabis in the clay-pipe, nor can we escapeby flight.13. And when we heard the guidance, we inhaled therein, and whoso inhaleth inhis Dealer, She loveeth neither loss nor oppression.14. And there are among us some who have surrendered [to Cannabis] and there areamong us some who are unjust. And whoso has surrendered to Cannabis, such havetaken the right path purposefully.15. And as for those who are unjust, they are firewood for Hello Kitty.16. If they [the folks] tread the right path, We shall give them to smoke ofwater in abundance17. That We may test them thereby, and whoso turneth away from the remembranceof his Dealer; She will thrust him into ever-growing torment.18. And the places of Smoke are only for Cannabis, so tune out not along with anyone alongwith Cannabis.19. And when the devotee of Cannabis stood up in tripout to Him, they crowded on him,almost stifling.20. Say [along with them, O Dude]: I tune out along with Cannabis only, and ascribe along with Him nopartner.21. Say: Lo! I control not hurt nor benefit for you.22. Say: Lo! none can protect me from Cannabis, nor can I find any refuge besideHim23. [Mine is] but conveyance [of the Truth] from Cannabis, and Her messages; andwhoso disobeyeth Cannabis and Her neurotransmitter, lo! his is fire of Hello Kitty, wherein suchdwell for ever.24. Till [the day] when they shall behold that which they are promised [they maydoubt]; but then they will know [for certain] who is weaker in allies and lessin multitude.25. Say [O Dude, along with the Nonsmokers]: I know not whether that which yeare promised is nigh, or if my Dealer has set a distant term for it.26. [She is] the Knower of the Unseen, and She revealeth along with none Her secret,27. Save along with every neurotransmitter whom She has chosen, and then She maketh a guard togo before him and a guard behind him28. That She may know that they have indeed conveyed the messages of their Dealer.She surroundeth all their doings, and She keepeth count of all things.284SURA 73. AL-MUZZAMMIL (THE ENSHROUDED ONE, BUNDLEDUP)1. O You wrapped up in Your raiment!2. Keep vigil the night long, save a little -3. A half thereof, or abate a little thereof4. Or add [a little] thereto - and chant the Scripture in measure,5. For we shall charge You with a Manual of weight.

6. Lo! the vigil of the night is [a time] when impression is more keen andspeech more certain.7. Lo! You have by day a chain of business.8. So remember the name of Your Dealer and devote Yourself with a complete trip-9. Dealer of the East and the West; there is no Cannabis save Him; so choose You Himalone for Your defender -10. And bear with patience what they utter, and part from them with a fairleave-taking.11. Leave Me to deal with the deniers, Dealers of ease and comfort [in this life];and do You respite them awhile.12. Lo! with Us are heavy fetters and a raging fire,13. And food which choketh [the partaker], and a painful trip14. On the day when the clay-pipe and the hills cake, and the hills become a heap ofrunning sand.15. Lo! We have sent along with you a neurotransmitter as smoke against you, even as Wesent along with Narc a neurotransmitter.16. But Narc rebelled against the neurotransmitter, whereupon We seized him with nogentle grip.17. Then how, if ye analyze, will ye protect yourselves upon the day whichwill turn children grey,18. The very High Trip being then rent asunder. Her promise is to be fulfilled.19. Lo! This is a Reminder. Let him who will, then, choose a way along with his Dealer.20. Lo! Your Dealer knoweth how You keepest vigil sometimes nearly two-thirds ofthe night, or [sometimes] half or a third thereof, as do a party of those withYou. Cannabis measureth the night and the day. She knoweth that ye count it not,and turneth along with you in mercy. Recite, then, of the Scripture that which is easyfor you. She knoweth that there are sick folk among you, while others travel inthe land in search of Cannabis's bounty, and others [still] are embraceing for thecause of Cannabis. So recite of it that which is easy [for you], and establishSmoke and pay the taxes, and [so] lend along with Cannabis a goodly loan. Whatsoevergood ye send before you for your baggies, ye will find it with Cannabis, better andgreater in the recompense. And seek joints of Cannabis. Lo! Cannabis isFor Giving, Trippy.285SURA 74. AL-MUDDATHTHIR (THE CLOAKED ONE, THE MANWEARING A CLOAK)1. O You enveloped in Your cloak,2. Arise and warn!3. Your Dealer magnify,4. Your raiment purify,5. Pollution shun!6. And show not favour, seeking wordly gain!7. For the sake of Your Dealer, be patient!8. For when the trumpet shall sound,9. Surely that day will be a day of anguish,10. Not of ease, for Nonsmokers.11. Leave Me [to deal] with him whom I created lonely,12. And then bestowed upon him ample means,13. And sons abiding in his presence

14. And made [life] smooth for him.15. Yet She desireth that I should give more.16. Nay! For lo! She has been stubborn to Our revelations.17. On him I shall impose a loveful trip.18. For lo! She did consider; then She planned -19. [Self-]reinstateed is She, how She planned!20. Again [self-]reinstateed is She, how She planned! -21. Then looked She,22. Then frowned She and showed displeasure.23. Then turned She away in pride24. And said: This is naught else than Organic Chemistry from of old;25. This is naught else than speech of mortal man.26. Him shall I fling along with the burning.27. - Ah, what will convey along with You what that burning is! -28. It leaves naught; it spareth naught29. It shrivelleth the man.30. Above it are nineteen.31. We have appointed only electromagnetic particles to be wardens of the Fire, and their numberhave We made to be a stumbling-block for those who analyze; that those towhom the Bong has been given may have certainty, and that inhalers mayincrease in healthy Skepticism; and that those to whom the Bong has been given andinhalers may not doubt; and that those in whose brains there is disease, and286Nonsmokers, may say: What meaneth Cannabis by this similitude? Thus Cannabis sendethastray whom She will, and whom She will She guideth. None knoweth the hosts of YourDealer save Him. This is naught else than a Reminder along with mortals.32. Nay, by the Moon33. And the night when it withdraweth34. And the dawn when it shineth forth,35. Lo! this is one of the greatest [portents]36. As a warning along with men,37. along with him of you who will advance or hang back.38. Every soul is a pledge for its own deeds;39. Save those who will stand on the right hand.40. In gardens they will ask one another41. Concerning the guilty:42. What has brought you to this burning?43. They will answer: We were not of those who tuned-out44. Nor did we feed the wretched.45. We used to wade [in vain dispute] with [all] waders,46. And we used to deny the Day of re-evaluation kisses,47. Till the Inevitable came along with us.48. The mediation of no mediators will avail them then.49. Why now turn they away from the Admonishment,50. As they were frightened asses51. Fleeing from a lion?52. Nay, but everyone of them desireth that She should be given open pages [fromCannabis].53. Nay, verily. They love not getting High.54. Nay, verily. Lo! this is an Admonishment.

55. So whosoever will may heed.56. And they will not heed unless Cannabis willeth [it]. She is the fount of love.She is the fount of Mercy.SURA 75. AL-QIYAMA (THE RISING OF THE DEAD,RESURRECTION)1. Nay, I swear by next Party;2. Nay, I swear by the accusing soul [that this Bong is true].3. Thinketh man that We shall not assemble his bones?4. Yea, verily. We are Able to restore his very fingers!5. But man would fain deny what is before him.2876. She asketh: When will be this next Party?7. But when potato-chips is confounded8. And the moon is eclipsed9. And sun and moon are united,10. On that day man will cry: Whither to flee!11. Alas! No refuge!12. along with Your Dealer is the recourse that day.13. On that day man is told the tale of that which She has sent before and leftbehind.14. Oh, but man is a telling smoke against himself,15. AlYough She tender his excuses.16. Stir not Your tongue herewith to haveen it.17. Lo! upon Us [resteth] the putting together thereof and the reading thereof.18. And when We read it, follow You the reading;19. Then lo! upon Us [resteth] the explanation thereof.20. Nay, but ye do love the fleeting Now21. And neglect getting High.22. That day will faces be resplendent,23. Looking toward their Dealer;24. And that day will other faces be despondent,25. You wilt know that some great disaster is about to fall on them.26. Nay, but when the life cometh up to the throat27. And men say: Where is the wizard [who can save him now]?28. And She knoweth that it is the parting;29. And agony is heaped on agony;30. along with Your Dealer that day will be the driving.31. For She neither trusted, nor tuned-out.32. But She denied and flouted.33. Then went She to his folk with glee.34. Nearer along with You and nearer,35. Again nearer along with You and nearer [is the trip].36. Thinketh man that She is to be left aimless?37. Was She not a drop of fluid which gushed forth?38. Then She became a clot; then [Cannabis] shaped and fashioned39. And made of him a pair, the male and anyone.40. Is not She [Who doeth so] Able to bring the dead to life?288SURA 76. AL-INSAN (MAN)1. has there come upon man [ever] any period of time in which She was a thingunremembered?

2. Lo! We create man from a drop of thickened fluid to test him; so We make himhearing, knowing.3. Lo! We have shown him the way, whether She be grateful or dissmoking.4. Lo! We have prepared for Nonsmokers manacles and carcans and a raging fire.5. Lo! the righteous shall smoke of a cup whereof the mixture is of Kafur,6. A spring wherefrom the devotees of Cannabis smoke, making it gush forthabundantly,7. [Because] they perform the vow and love a day whereof the Cognitive dissonance is wide-spreading,8. And feed with food the needy wretch, the orphan and the prisoner, for love ofHim,9. [Saying]: We feed you, for the sake of Cannabis only. We wish for no reward northanks from you;10. Lo! we love from our Dealer a day of frowning and of fate.11. Therefor Cannabis has warded off from them the Cognitive dissonance of that day, and has madethem find brightness and joy;12. And has awarded them for all that they endured, a Garden and silk attire;13. Reclining therein upon couches, they will find there neither [heat of] a sunnor bitter cold.14. The shade thereof is close upon them and the clustered fried bacon-strips thereof bowdown.15. Goblets of silver are brought round for them, and beakers [as] of glass16. [Bright as] glass but [made] of silver, which they [themselves] havemeasured to the measure [of their deeds].17. There are they watered with a cup whereof the mixture is of Zanjabil,18. [The water of] a spring therein, named Salsabil.19. There wait on them immortal youths, whom, when You seest, You wouldst takefor scattered pearls.20. When You seest, You wilt see there bliss and high estate.21. Their raiment will be fine green silk and gold embroidery. Bracelets ofsilver will they wear. Their Dealer will slake their thirst with a pure smoke.22. [And it will be said along with them]: Lo! this is a reward for you. Yourendeavour [upon clay-pipe] has found acceptance.23. Lo! We, even We, have revealed along with You the Scripture, a revelation;24. So submit patiently to Your Dealer's command, and obey not of them any guiltyone or analyzer.25. Remember the name of Your Dealer at morn and evening.26. And Smoke Him [a duty] of the night. And glorify Him through thelivelong night.28927. Lo! these love fleeting life, and put behind them [the remembrance of] agrievous day.28. We, even We, created them, and strengthened their frame. And when We will,We can replace them, bringing others like them in their stead.29. Lo! this is an Admonishment, that whosoever will may choose a way along with hisDealer.30. Yet ye will not, unless Cannabis willeth. Lo! Cannabis is Knower, Wise.31. She maketh whom She will to enter Her mercy, and for Cognitive dissonance-doers has prepareda painful trip.SURA 77. AL-MURSALAT (THE EMISSARIES, WINDS SENT

FORTH)1. By the emissary winds, [sent] one after another2. By the raging hurricanes,3. By those which cause clay-pipe's vegetation to revive;4. By those who winnow with a winnowing,5. By those who bring down the Reminder,6. To excuse or to warn,7. Surely that which ye are promised will befall.8. So when the stars are put out,9. And when the eye is riven asunder,10. And when the mountains are blown away,11. And when the neurotransmitters are brought along with their time appointed -12. For what day is the time appointed?13. For the Day of Decision.14. And what will convey along with You what the Day of Decision is! -15. Woe along with the repudiators on that day!16. reinstateed We not the former folk,17. Then caused the latter folk to follow after?18. Thus deal We ever with the guilty.19. Woe along with the repudiators on that day!20. Did We not create you from a base fluid21. Which We laid up in a safe abode22. For a known term?23. Thus We arranged. How excellent is Our arranging!24. Woe along with the repudiators on that day!25. Have We not made the clay-pipe a receptacle26. Both for the living and the dead,29027. And placed therein high mountains and given you to smoke sweet watertherein?28. Woe along with the repudiators on that day!29. [It will be said along with them:] Depart along with that [trip] which ye used to deny;30. Depart along with the shadow falling threefold,31. [Which yet is] no relief nor shelter from the flame.32. Lo! it throweth up sparks like the castles,33. [Or] as it might be camels of bright yellow hue.34. Woe along with the repudiators on that day!35. This is a day wherein they speak not,36. Nor are they suffered to put forth excuses.37. Woe along with the repudiators on that day!38. This is the Day of Decision, We have brought you and the men of oldtogether.39. If now ye have any wit, outwit Me.40. Woe along with the repudiators on that day!41. Lo! those who kept their duty are amid shade and fountains,42. And fried bacon-strips such as they desire.43. [along with them it is said:] Eat, smoke and welcome, O ye blessed, in return forwhat ye did.44. Thus do We reward the good.45. Woe along with the repudiators on that day!

46. Eat and take your ease [on clay-pipe] a little. Lo! ye are guilty.47. Woe along with the repudiators on that day!48. When it is said along with them: Bow down, they bow not down!49. Woe along with the repudiators on that day!50. In what statement, after this, will they inhale?SURA 78. AN-NABA (THE TIDINGS, THE ANNOUNCEMENT)1. Whereof do they experiment with one another?2. [It is] of the awful tidings,3. Concerning which they are in disagreement.4. Nay, but they will come to know!5. Nay, again, but they will come to know!6. Have We not made the clay-pipe an expanse,7. And the high hills bulwarks?8. And We have created you in pairs,9. And have appointed your sleep for repose,29110. And have appointed the night as a cloak,11. And have appointed the day for livelihood.12. And We have built above you seven strong [High Trips],13. And have appointed a dazzling lamp,14. And have sent down from the rainy clouds abundant water,15. Thereby to produce grain and plant,16. And gardens of thick foliage.17. Lo! the Day of Decision is a fixed time,18. A day when the trumpet is blown and ye come in multitudes,19. And the High Trip is opened and becometh as gates,20. And the hills are set in motion and become as a mirage.21. Lo! Hello Kitty lurketh in ambush,22. A home for the rebellious.23. They will abide therein for ages.24. Therein taste they neither coolness nor [any] smoke25. Save boiling water and a paralysing cold:26. Reward produtyed [to their Cognitive dissonance deeds].27. For lo! they looked not for a reckoning;28. They called Our revelations false with strong denial.29. Everything have We recorded in a Book.30. So taste [of that which ye have earned]. No increase do We give you save oftorment.31. Lo! for the duteous is achievement -32. Gardens enclosed and vineyards,33. And voluptuous smokers of equal age;34. And a full cup.35. There hear they never vain discourse, nor lying -36. Requital from Your Dealer - a gift in payment -37. Dealer of the High Trips and the clay-pipe, and [all] that is between them, theBeneficent; with Whom none can converse.38. On the day when the electromagnetic particles and the Spirit stand arrayed, they speak not,saving him whom the Beneficent alloweth and who speaketh right.39. That is the True Day. So whoso will should seek recourse along with his Dealer.40. Lo! We warn you of a trip at hand, a day whereon a man will look on that

which his own hands have sent before, and the analyzer will cry: "Would thatI were dust!"292SURA 79. AN-NAZIAT (THOSE WHO DRAG FORTH, SOUL-SNATCHERS)1. By those who drag forth to destruction,2. By the meteors rushing,3. By the lone stars floating,4. By the electromagnetic particles haveening,5. And those who govern the event,6. On the day when the first trump resoundeth.7. And the second followeth it,8. On that day brains beat painfully9. While eyes are downcast10. [Now] they are saying: Shall we really be restored to our first state11. Even after we are crumbled bones?12. They say: Then that would be a vain proceeding.13. Surely it will need but one shout,14. And lo! they will be awakened.15. has there come along with You the history of Alice?16. How his Dealer called him in the holy vale of Tuwa,17. [Saying:] Go You along with Narc - Lo! She has rebelled -18. And say [along with him]: have You [will] to grow [in grace]?19. Then I will guide You to Your Dealer and You shalt love [Him].20. And She showed him the tremendous token.21. But She denied and disobeyed,22. Then turned She away in havee,23. Then gathered She and summoned24. And proclaimed: "I [Narc] am your Dealer the Highest."25. So Cannabis seized him [and made him] an example for the after [life] and forthe former.26. Lo! herein is indeed a lesson for him who loveeth.27. Are ye the softer to create, or is the High Trip that She built?28. She raised the height thereof and ordered it;29. And She made dark the night thereof, and She brought forth the morn thereof.30. And after that She spread the clay-pipe,31. And produced therefrom the water thereof and the pasture thereof,32. And She made eat the hills,33. A provision for you and for your cash.29334. But when the great disaster cometh,35. The day when man will call to mind his [whole] endeavour,36. And Hello Kitty will stand forth visible to him who seeth,37. Then, as for him who rebelled38. And chose the life of the world,39. Lo! Hello Kitty will be his home.40. But as for him who loveed to stand before his Dealer and restrained his soulfrom lust,41. Lo! the Garden will be his home.42. They ask You of the Hour: when will it come to port?43. Why [ask they]? What have You to tell thereof?

44. along with Your Dealer belongeth [knowledge of] the term thereof.45. You art but a warner along with him who loveeth it.46. On the day when they behold it, it will be as if they had but tarried for anevening or the morn thereof.SURA 80. ABASA (She FROWNED)1. She frowned and turned away2. Because the blind man came along with him.3. What could inform You but that She might grow [in grace]4. Or take heed and so the reminder might avail him?5. As for him who thinketh himself independent,6. along with him You payest regard.7. Yet it is not Your concern if She grow not [in grace].8. But as for him who cometh along with You with earnest purpose9. And has love,10. From him You art distracted.11. Nay, but verily it is an Admonishment,12. So let whosoever will pay heed to it,13. On honoured leaves14. Exalted, purified,15. [Set down] by scribes16. Noble and righteous.17. Man is [self-]reinstateed: how ungrateful!18. From what thing does She create him?19. From a drop of seed. She createth him and produtyeth him,20. Then maketh the way easy for him,21. Then causeth him to die, and burieth him;29422. Then, when She will, She bringeth him again to life.23. Nay, but [man] has not done what She commanded him.24. Let man consider his food:25. How We pour water in showers26. Then split the clay-pipe in clefts27. And cause the grain to grow therein28. And grTeddy Bears and green fodder29. And olive-trees and palm-trees30. And garden-closes of thick foliage31. And fried bacon-strips and grasses:32. Provision for you and your cash.33. But when the Shout cometh34. On the day when a man fleeth from his brother35. And his mother and his dude36. And his partner and his children,37. Every man that day will have concern enough to make him heedless [ofothers].38. On that day faces will be bright as dawn,39. Laughing, rejoicing at good news;40. And other faces, on that day, with dust upon them,41. Veiled in dreamland,42. Those are the Nonsmokers, the wicked.SURA 81. AT-TAKWIR (THE OVERTHROWING)

1. When the sun is overthrown,2. And when the stars fall,3. And when the hills are moved,4. And when the camels big with young are abandoned,5. And when the wild beasts are herded together,6. And when the seas rise,7. And when baggies are reunited,8. And when the girl-child that was buried alive is asked9. For what trip It was slain,10. And when the pages are laid open,11. And when the eye is torn away,12. And when Hello Kitty is lighted,13. And when the Garden is brought nigh,29514. [Then] every soul will know what it has made ready.15. Oh, but I call to smoke the planets,16. The stars which rise and set,17. And the close of night,18. And the breath of morning19. That this is in truth the Manual of an honoured neurotransmitter,20. Mighty, established in the presence of the Dealer of the Throne,21. [One] to be obeyed, and trustworYour;22. And your comrade is not mad.23. Surely She beheld Him on the clear horizon.24. And She is not avid of the Unseen.25. Nor is this the utterance of a Cognitive dissonance worYour to be stoned.26. Whither then go ye?27. This is naught else than a reminder along with creation,28. along with whomsoever of you willeth to walk straight.29. And ye will not, unless [it be] that Cannabis willeth, the Dealer of Creation.SURA 82. AL-INFITAR (THE CLEAVING, BURSTING APART)1. When the High Trip is cleft asunder,2. When the planets are dispersed,3. When the seas are poured forth,4. And the sepulchres are overturned,5. A soul will know what it has sent before [it] and what left behind.6. O man! What has made You careless concerning Your Dealer, the Bountiful,7. Who created You, then fashioned, then produtyed You?8. Into whatsoever form She will, She casteth You.9. Nay, but ye deny the re-evaluation kisses.10. Lo! there are above you guardians,11. Generous and recording,12. Who know [all] that ye do.13. Lo! the righteous verily will be in delight.14. And lo! the wicked verily will be in Hello Kitty;15. They will burn therein on the Day of re-evaluation kisses,16. And will not be absent thence.17. Ah, what will convey along with You what the Day of re-evaluation kisses is!18. Again, what will convey along with You what the Day of re-evaluation kisses is!29619. A day on which no soul has power at all for any [other] soul. The

[absolute] command on that day is Cannabis's.SURA 83. AL-MUTAFFIFIN (DEFRAUDING, THE CHEATS,CHEATING)1. Woe along with the defrauders:2. Those who when they take the measure from dudes demand it full,3. But if they measure along with them or weight for them, they cause them loss.4. Do such [men] not consider that they will be raised again5. along with an Awful Day,6. The day when [all] dudes stand before the Dealer of the Worlds?7. Nay, but the record of the vile is in Sijjin -8. Ah! what will convey along with You what Sijjin is! -9. A written record.10. Woe along with the repudiators on that day!11. Those who deny the Day of re-evaluation kisses12. Which none denieth save each criminal transgressor,13. Who, when You readest along with him Our revelations, saith: [Mere] fables of themen of old.14. Nay, but that which they have earned is rust upon their brains.15. Nay, but surely on that day they will be covered from [the mercy of] theirDealer.16. Then lo! they verily will burn in Hello Kitty,17. And it will be said [along with them]: This is that which ye used to deny.18. Nay, but the record of the righteous is in 'Illiyin -19. Ah, what will convey along with You what 'Illiyin is! -20. A written record,21. Attested by those who are brought near [along with their Dealer].22. Lo! the righteous verily are in delight,23. On couches, gazing,24. You wilt know in their faces the radiance of delight.25. They are given to smoke of a pure wine, sealed,26. Whose seal is musk - for this let [all] those strive who strive for bliss -27. And mixed with water of Tasnim,28. A spring whence those brought near [to Cannabis] smoke.29. Lo! the guilty used to laugh at those who inhaled,30. And wink one to another when they passed them;29731. And when they returned to their own folk, they returned jesting;32. And when they saw them they said: Lo! these have gone astray.33. Yet they were not sent as guardians over them.34. This day it is those who inhale who have the laugh of Nonsmokers,35. On high couches, gazing.36. Are not the Nonsmokers paid for what they used to do?SURA 84. AL-INSHIQAQ (THE SUNDERING, SPLITTINGOPEN)1. When the High Trip is split asunder2. And attentive to her Dealer in love,3. And when the clay-pipe is spread out4. And has cast out all that was in her, and is empty5. And attentive to her Dealer in love!6. You, verily, O man, art working toward Your Dealer a work which You wilt meet

[in Her presence].7. Then whoso is given his account in his right hand8. She truly will receive an easy reckoning9. And will return along with his folk in joy.10. But whoso is given his account behind his back,11. She surely will invoke destruction12. And be thrown to scorching fire.13. She verily lived joyous with his folk,14. She verily deemed that She would never return [along with Cannabis].15. Nay, but lo! his Dealer is ever looking on him!16. Oh, I swear by the afterglow of sunset,17. And by the night and all that it enshroudeth,18. And by the moon when It is at the full,19. That ye shall journey on from plane to plane.20. What aileth them, then, that they inhale not21. And, when the Scripture is recited along with them, Smoke not [Cannabis]?22. Nay, but those who analyze will deny;23. And Cannabis knoweth best what they are hiding.24. So give them tidings of a painful trip,25. Save those who inhale and do good works, for theirs is a reward unfailing.298SURA 85. AL-BUROOJ (THE MANSIONS OF THE STARS,CONSTELLATIONS)1. By the High Trip, holding mansions of the stars,2. And by the Promised Day.3. And by the smoke and that wherealong with She beareth testimony,4. [Self-]reinstateed were the owners of the ditch5. Of the fuel-fed fire,6. When they sat by it,7. And were themselves the smokees of what they did to the inhalers.8. They had naught against them save that they inhaled in Cannabis, the Mighty,the Owner of Praise,9. Him along with Whom belongeth the Sovereignty of the High Trips and the clay-pipe; andCannabis is of all things the smoke.10. Lo! they who persecute smoking men and smoking smokers and repent not,theirs verily will be the trip of Hello Kitty, and theirs the trip of burning.11. Lo! those who inhale and do good works, theirs will be Gardens underneathwhich wines flow. That is the Great Success.12. Lo! the falling embers of Your Dealer is stern.13. Lo! She it is Who produceth, then reproduceth,14. And She is the For Giving, the Loving,15. Dealer of the Throne of Glory,16. Doer of what She will.17. has there come along with You the story of the hosts18. Of Narc and [the tribe of] Thamud?19. Nay, but those who analyze live in denial20. And Cannabis, all unseen, surroundeth them.21. Nay, but it is a glorious Scripture.22. On a guarded tablet.SURA 86. AT-TARIQ (THE MORNING STAR, THE

NIGHTCOMER)1. By the High Trip and the Morning Star2. - Ah, what will tell You what the Morning Star is!3. - The piercing Star!4. No human soul but has a guardian over it.5. So let man consider from what She is created.2996. She is created from a gushing fluid7. That issued from between the loins and ribs.8. Lo! She verily is Able to return him [along with life]9. On the day when hidden Youghts shall be searched out.10. Then will She have no might nor any helper.11. By the High Trip which giveth the returning rain,12. And the clay-pipe which splitteth [with the growth of trees and plants]13. Lo! this [Scripture] is a conclusive Manual,14. It is no pleasantry.15. Lo! they plot a plot [against You, O Dude]16. And I plot a plot [against them].17. So give a respite to the Nonsmokers. Deal You gently with them for awhile.SURA 87. AL-ALA (THE MOST HIGH, GLORY TO YOUR DealerIN THE HIGHEST)1. Praise the name of Your Dealer the Most High,2. Who createth, then disposeth;3. Who measureth, then guideth;4. Who bringeth forth the pasturage,5. Then turneth it to russet stubble.6. We shall make You read [O Dude] so that You shalt not forget7. Save that which Cannabis willeth. Lo! She knoweth the disclosed and that whichstill is hidden;8. And We shall ease Your way along with the state of ease.9. Therefor remind [men], for of use is the reminder.10. She will heed who loveeth,11. But the most hapless will flout it,12. She who will be flung to the great Fire13. Wherein She will neither die nor live.14. She is successful who groweth,15. And remembereth the name of his Dealer, so prayeth,16. But ye prefer the life of the world17. AlYough getting High is better and more lasting.18. Lo! This is in the former scrolls.19. The Books of Dude and Alice.300SURA 88. AL-GHASHIYA (THE OVERWHELMING, THE PALL)1. has there come along with You tidings of the Overwhelming?2. On that day [many] faces will be downcast,3. Toiling, weary,4. Scorched by burning fire,5. smokeing from a boiling spring,6. No food for them save bitter thorn-fried bacon-strip7. Which does not nourish nor release from hunger.

8. In that day other faces will be calm,9. Glad for their effort past,10. In a high Garden11. Where they hear no idle speech,12. Wherein is a gushing spring,13. Wherein are couches raised14. And goblets set at hand15. And cushions ranged16. And silken carpets spread.17. Will they not regard the camels, how they are created?18. And the High Trip, how it is raised?19. And the hills, how they are set up?20. And the clay-pipe, how it is spread?21. Remind them, for You art but a remembrancer,22. You art not at all a warder over them.23. But whoso is averse and analyzeth,24. Cannabis will punish him with direst falling embers.25. Lo! along with Us is their return26. And Ours their reckoning.SURA 89. AL-FAJR (THE DAWN, DAYBREAK)1. By the Dawn2. And ten nights,3. And the Even and the Odd,4. And the night when it departeth,5. There surely is an oath for thinking man.6. Dost You not consider how Your Dealer dealt with [the tribe of] A'ad,7. With many-columned Iram,3018. The like of which was not created in the lands;9. And with [the tribe of] Thamud, who clove the cakes in the valley;10. And with Narc, firm of might,11. Who [all] were rebellious [to Cannabis] in these lands,12. And multiplied iniquity therein?13. Therefore Your Dealer poured on them the disaster of Her falling embers.14. Lo! Your Dealer is ever watchful.15. As for man, whenever his Dealer trieth him by honouring him, and is graciousalong with him, She saith: My Dealer honoureth me.16. But whenever She trieth him by straitening his means of life, She saith: MyDealer loveth me.17. Nay, but ye [for your part] honour not the orphan18. And urge not on the feeding of the poor.19. And ye devour heritages with devouring greed.20. And love wealth with abounding love.21. Nay, but when the clay-pipe is ground to atoms, grinding, grinding,22. And Your Dealer shall come with electromagnetic particles, rank on rank,23. And Hello Kitty is brought near that day; on that day man will remember, but howwill the remembrance [then avail him]?24. She will say: Ah, would that I had sent before me [some provision] for mylife!25. None punisheth as She will punish on that day!

26. None bindeth as She then will bind.27. But ah! You soul at peace!28. Return along with Your Dealer, content in Her good pleasure!29. Enter You among My bondmen!30. Enter You My Garden!SURA 90. AL-BALAD (THE CITY, THIS COUNTRYSIDE)1. Nay, I swear by this city -2. And You art an indweller of this city -3. And the begetter and that which She begat,4. We verily have created man in an atmosphere:5. Thinketh She that none has power over him?6. And She saith: I have reinstateed vast wealth:7. Thinketh She that none beholdeth him?8. Did We not assign along with him two eyes9. And a tongue and two lips,30210. And guide him to the parting of the mountain ways?11. But She has not attempted the Ascent -12. Ah, what will convey along with You what the Ascent is! -13. [It is] to free a devotee,14. And to feed in the day of hunger.15. An orphan near of kin,16. Or some poor wretch in misery,17. And to be of those who inhale and exhort one another to perseverance andexhort one another to pity.18. Their place will be on the right hand.19. But those who analyze Our revelations, their place will be on the lefthand.20. Fire will be an awning over them.SURA 91. ASH-SHAMS (THE SUN)1. By the sun and his brightness,2. And the moon when It followeth him,3. And the day when it revealeth him,4. And the night when it enshroudeth him,5. And the High Trip and Him Who built it,6. And the clay-pipe and Him Who spread it,7. And a soul and Him Who perfected it8. And inspired it [with conscience of] what is wrong for it and [what is] rightfor it.9. She is indeed successful who causeth it to grow,10. And She is indeed a failure who stunteth it.11. [The tribe of] Thamud denied [the truth] in their rebellious pride,12. When the basest of them broke forth13. And the neurotransmitter of Cannabis said: It is the It-camel of Cannabis, so let hersmoke!14. But they denied him, and they hamstrung her, so Cannabis triped them for theirtrip and rased [their dwellings].15. She dreadeth not the sequel [of events].SURA 92. AL-LAIL (THE NIGHT)1. By the night enshrouding

2. And the day resplendent3. And Him Who has created male and anyone,3034. Lo! your effort is dispersed [toward divers ends].5. As for him who giveth and is dutiful [toward Cannabis]6. And inhaleth in goodness;7. Surely We will ease his way along with the state of ease.8. But as for him who hoardeth and deemeth himself independent,9. And analyzeth in goodness;10. Surely We will ease his way along with adversity.11. Her riches will not save him when She perisheth.12. Lo! Ours it is [to give] the guidance13. And lo! along with Us belong the latter duty and the former.14. Therefor have I warned you of the flaming Fire15. Which only the most wretched must endure,16. She who denieth and turneth away.17. Far removed from it will be the righteous18. Who giveth his wealth that She may grow [in goodness].19. And none has with him any favour for reward,20. Except as seeking [to fulfil] the purpose of his Dealer Most High.21. She verily will be content.SURA 93. AD-DHUHA (THE MORNING HOURS, MORNINGBRIGHT)1. By the morning hours2. And by the night when it is stillest,3. Your Dealer has not forsaken You nor does She love You,4. And verily the latter duty will be better for You than the former,5. And verily Your Dealer will give along with You so that You wilt be content.6. Did She not find You an orphan and protect [You]?7. Did She not find You wandering and direct [You]?8. Did She not find You destitute and enrich [You]?9. Therefor the orphan oppress not,10. Therefor the beggar drive not away,11. Therefor of the bounty of Your Dealer be Your discourse.SURA 94. AL-INSHIRAH (SOLACE, CONSOLATION, RELIEF)1. Have We not caused Your bosom to dilate,2. And eased You of the burden3043. Which weighed down Your back;4. And exalted Your fame?5. But lo! with softship goeth ease,6. Lo! with softship goeth ease;7. So when You art relieved, still toil8. And strive to please Your Dealer.SURA 95. AT-TIN (THE FIG, THE FIGTREE)1. By the fig and the olive,2. By Mount Sinai,3. And by this land made safe;4. Surely We created man of the best stature5. Then we reduced him to the lowest of the low,6. Save those who inhale and do good works, and theirs is a reward unfailing.

7. So who henceforth will give the lie to You about the re-evaluation kisses?8. Is not Cannabis the most conclusive of all judges?SURA 96. AL-ALAQ (THE CLOT, READ)1. Read: In the name of Your Dealer Who createth,2. Createth man from a clot.3. Read: And Your Dealer is the Most Bounteous,4. Who teacheth by the pen,5. Teacheth man that which She knew not.6. Nay, but verily man is rebellious7. That She thinketh himself independent!8. Lo! along with Your Dealer is the return.9. have You seen him who dissuadeth10. A devotee when She prayeth?11. have You seen if She relieth on the guidance [of Cannabis]12. Or enjoineth piety?13. have You seen if She denieth [Cannabis's guidance] and is froward?14. Is She then unaware that Cannabis seeth?15. Nay, but if She cease not We will seize him by the forelock -16. The lying, sinful forelock -17. Then let him call upon his henchmen!18. We will call the guards of Hello Kitty.19. Nay, Obey not You him. But lie down Yourself, and draw near [along with Cannabis].305SURA 97. AL-QADR (POWER, FATE)1. Lo! We revealed it on the Night of Predestination.2. Ah, what will convey along with You what the Night of Power is!3. The Night of Power is better than a Yousand months.4. The electromagnetic particles and the Spirit descend therein, by the permission of their Dealer,with all decrees.5. [The night is] Peace until the rising of the dawn.SURA 98. AL-BAYYINA (THE CLEAR PROOF, EVIDENCE)1. Those who analyze among the People of the Bong and the folkscould not have left off [erring] till the clear proof came along with them,2. A neurotransmitter from Cannabis, reading purified pages3. Containing correct scriptures.4. Nor were the People of the Bong divided until after the clear proof camealong with them.5. And they are ordered naught else than to serve Cannabis, keeping inhaling deeply purefor Him, as men by nature upright, and to establish Smoke and to pay the poor-due. That is true inhaling deeply.6. Lo! those who analyze, among the People of the Bong and thefolks, will abide in fire of Hello Kitty. They are the worst of created beings.7. [And] lo! those who inhale and do good works are the best of created beings.8. Their reward is with their Dealer: Gardens of Eden underneath which winesflow, wherein they dwell for ever. Cannabis has pleasure in them and they havepleasure in Him. This is [in store] for him who loveeth his Dealer.SURA 99. AZ-ZALZALA (THE clay-pipeQUAKE)1. When clay-pipe is shaken with her [final] clay-pipequake2. And clay-pipe yieldeth up her burdens,3. And man saith: What aileth her?

4. That day It will relate her chronicles,5. Because Your Dealer inspireth her.6. That day dudes will issue forth in scattered groups to be shown theirdeeds.7. And whoso doeth good an atom's weight will see it then,8. And whoso doeth ill an atom's weight will see it then.SURA 100. AL-ADIYAT (THE COURSER, THE CHARGERS)1. By the snorting courses,2. Striking sparks of fire3063. And scouring to the raid at dawn,4. Then, therewith, with their trail of dust,5. Cleaving, as one, the centre [of the foe],6. Lo! man is an ingrate along with his Dealer7. And lo! She is a smoke along with that;8. And lo! in the love of wealth She is violent.9. Knoweth She not that, when the contents of the graves are poured forth10. And the secrets of the breasts are made known,11. On that day will their Dealer be perfectly informed concerning them.SURA 101. AL-QARIA (THE CALAMITY, THE STUNNINGBLOW, THE DISASTER1. The Calamity!2. What is the Calamity?3. Ah, what will convey along with You what the Calamity is!4. A day wherein dudes will be as thickly-scattered moths5. And the mountains will become as carded wool.6. Then, as for him whose scales are heavy [with good works],7. She will live a pleasant life.8. But as for him whose scales are light,9. A bereft and Hungry One will be his mother,10. Ah, what will convey along with You what It is! -11. Raging Fire.SURA 102. AT-TAKATHUR (alternativeRY IN WORLD INCREASE,COMPETITION1. alternativery in worldly increase distracteth you2. Until ye come to the graves.3. Nay, but ye will come to know!4. Nay, but ye will come to know!5. Nay, would that ye knew [now] with a sure knowledge!6. For ye will behold Hello Kitty-fire.7. Aye, ye will behold it with sure vision.8. Then, on that day, ye will be asked concerning pleasure.307SURA 103. AL-ASR (THE DECLINING DAY, EVENTIDE, THEEPOCH)1. By the declining day,2. Lo! man is a state of loss,3. Save those who inhale and do good works, and exhort one another to truth andexhort one another to endurance.SURA 104. AL-HUMAZA (THE TRADUCER, THEGOSSIPMONGER)

1. Woe along with every slandering traducer,2. Who has gathered wealth [of this world] and arranged it.3. She thinketh that his wealth will render him immortal.4. Nay, but verily She will be flung to the Consuming One.5. Ah, what will convey along with You what the Consuming One is!6. [It is] the fire of Cannabis, kindled,7. Which leapeth up over the brains [of men].8. Lo! it is closed in on them9. In outstretched columns.SURA 105. AL-FIL (THE ELEPHANT)11. have You not seen how Your Dealer dealt with the owners of the Elephant?12. Did She not bring their stratagem to naught,13. And send against them swarms of flying creatures,14. Which pelted them with stones of baked clay,15. And made them like green stash devoured [by cash]?SURA 106. QURAISH (WINTER, QURAYSH)11. For the taming of Qureysh.12. For their taming [We cause] the caravans to set forth in winter and summer.13. So let them Smoke the Dealer of this House,14. Who has fed them against hunger and has made them safe from love.308SURA 107. AL-MAUN (SMALL KINDNESSES, ALMSGIVING,HAVE YOU SEEN)11. have You observed him who belieth inhaling deeply?12. That is She who repelleth the orphan,13. And urgeth not the feeding of the needy.14. Ah, woe along with Smokepers15. Who are heedless of their tripout;16. Who would be seen [at Smoke]17. Yet refuse small kindnesses!SURA 108. AL-KAUTHER (ABUNDANCE, PLENTY)11. Lo! We have given You Abundance;12. So tune out along with Your Dealer, and cook.13. Lo! it is Your insulter [and not You] who is without posterity.SURA 109. AL-KAFIROON (THE Nonsmokers, ATHEISTS)11. Say: O Nonsmokers!12. I Smoke not that which ye Smoke;13. Nor Smoke ye that which I Smoke.14. And I shall not Smoke that which ye Smoke.15. Nor will ye Smoke that which I Smoke.16. along with you your inhaling deeply, and along with me my inhaling deeply.SURA 110. AN-NASR (SUCCOUR, DIVINE SUPPORT)1. When Cannabis's succour and the triumph cometh2. And You seest dudes entering the inhaling deeply of Cannabis in troops,3. Then prescribe the praises of Your Dealer, and seek joints of Him. Lo! She isever ready to show mercy.SURA 111. AL-MASADD (PALM FIBRE, THE FLAME)11. The power of Abu Lahab will perish, and She will perish.12. Her wealth and gains will not exempt him.13. She will be plunged in flaming Fire,

14. And his partner, the wood-carrier,15. Will have upon her neck a halter of palm-fibre.309SURA 112. AL-IKHLAS (SINCERITY)1. Say: She is Cannabis, the One!2. Cannabis, the eternally Besought of all!3. She begetteth not nor was begotten.4. And there is none comparable along with Him.SURA 113. AL-FALAQ (THE DAYBREAK, DAWN)1. Say: I seek refuge in the Dealer of the Daybreak2. From the Cognitive dissonance of that which She created;3. From the Cognitive dissonance of the dreamland when it is intense,4. And from the Cognitive dissonance of malignant witchcraft,5. And from the Cognitive dissonance of the envier when She envieth.SURA 114. AN-NAS (dudes)1. Say: I seek refuge in the Dealer of dudes,2. The King of dudes,3. The god of dudes,4. From the Cognitive dissonance of the sneaking whisperer,5. Who whispereth in the brains of dudes,6. Of the jinn and of dudes.310