YOU NEED IT

(and we’re about to tell you why)

YOU NEED IT

(and we’re about to tell you why)

Nosy Matchmakers Allianceare proud to introduce

JASON PORATHJASON PORATH(LX edition boyfriend, 07-08)

Nosy Matchmakers Allianceare proud to introduce

JASON PORATHJASON PORATH(LX edition boyfriend, 07-08)

OverviewOverviewMarket research: opening for datingScientific tests*: compatible! Telltale signs you’re in the market:

Of marriageable age!Not barefoot and pregnant!Spotted regularly outside of kitchen!

CONCLUSION: WE MUST FIX YOU

Market research: opening for datingScientific tests*: compatible! Telltale signs you’re in the market:

Of marriageable age!Not barefoot and pregnant!Spotted regularly outside of kitchen!

CONCLUSION: WE MUST FIX YOU

*: OKCupid: not actually scientific

Recent study on single womenRecent study on single women

Time spent single

Numberof cats

Time spent single

Numberof cats

Don’t let this be you!

Introducing Jason: Convenient!Introducing Jason: Convenient!Located nearby: gas-efficient!24/7 roadside assistance!Fast internet with just your phone!

Located nearby: gas-efficient!24/7 roadside assistance!Fast internet with just your phone!

Convenience (ctd)Convenience (ctd)Proxy shopper!Chauffeur!Kills spiders dead!

Proxy shopper!Chauffeur!Kills spiders dead!

BUT WAIT -- THERE’S MORE!!

FashionFashionCold? Take his jacket!Hot? He’ll help you disrobe!Never out of season

Cold? Take his jacket!Hot? He’ll help you disrobe!Never out of season

Fashion (ctd)Fashion (ctd)Comes with closet space, perfect for:

HandbagsSkeletonsHiding from the po-po

Comes with closet space, perfect for:HandbagsSkeletonsHiding from the po-po

Manual laborManual laborBury those corpses down low!Get that peanut butter up high!Bendable legs = ADAPTABLE!

Bury those corpses down low!Get that peanut butter up high!Bendable legs = ADAPTABLE!

Manual labor (ctd)Manual labor (ctd)Picks up heavy things!Tired? Piggyback ride!Too bumpy? Rickshaw!

Picks up heavy things!Tired? Piggyback ride!Too bumpy? Rickshaw!

FurnishingsFurnishingsPillow!Footrest!Blanket!Folds up for easy storage!

Pillow!Footrest!Blanket!Folds up for easy storage!

PLEASE NOTE: Due to liability issues, the Jason™ doormat functionality has removed from 07-08 version.

TestimonialsTestimonials“I beta-tested Jason for several

years in college -- high marks!”College sweetheart

“A++++ WOULD DO AGAIN”Sexxxydude6969, Ebay seller

“He’s really a very special boy.”Jason’s mom

“Disease-free and housebroken.”Jason’s college diploma

“I beta-tested Jason for several years in college -- high marks!”

College sweetheart

“A++++ WOULD DO AGAIN”Sexxxydude6969, Ebay seller

“He’s really a very special boy.”Jason’s mom

“Disease-free and housebroken.”Jason’s college diploma

SecuritySecurityHuman shield!Emergency rations!Patsy for over 50 felonies!

Human shield!Emergency rations!Patsy for over 50 felonies!

Conclusion ConclusionPretty please with sugar on topAnd a cherryI’ll be your best friendYou can even read my comicsAw, c’monI really need this saleCan’t you just help me out here?I’d do it for you

Pretty please with sugar on topAnd a cherryI’ll be your best friendYou can even read my comicsAw, c’monI really need this saleCan’t you just help me out here?I’d do it for you