you’ll laugh until your face scrunches! · 2020-07-28 · you’ll laugh until your face...

You’ll laugh until your face scrunches!

18”x27”

Made of 100% Cotton Flour Sack

Includes Display Hanger


Tonight I tried cooking with

wine… after five glasses

I couldn’t remember

why I was even in the kitchen.

My therapist

told me to

cut back

on drinking,

then we laughed

and laughed!

A good man can make you

feel sexy, strong and able to take

on the world! Oh sorry…

that’s wine... Wine does that.

I just want to

drink wine and pet my cat.

In wine there is truth, in beer there is strength, in water there is bacteria.

A friend knows when to pour the wine. A real friend knows when

to stop pouring and just hand over the bottle.

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Five Glasses Cut Back Wine Does ThatPet Cat Beer Truth The Bottle

Did you know that 2 or 3

glasses of wine per day

can reduce your risk of

giving a damn?

So... it turns out that being an adult

is mostly just googling shit.

There are two things I do well;

drink and know

things.

I enjoy a glass of wine

each night for its

health benefits. The other glasses

are for my witty comebacks

and flawless dance moves.

Alcohol... because no great story ever started

with someone eating a salad.

I pretend to like people

every day, it’s called

being an adult and that’s why we are allowed to buy alcohol.


Give a Damn Googling I Do WellHealth Benefits Eating Salad Buy Alcohol

Alcohol fills the

space where my fucks used to be!

Coffee, you’re on

the bench… alcohol, suit up!

You drink too much.

You cuss too much. You have

questionable morals…

Everything I wanted

in a friend.

I am not self-medicating. The guy at the

liquor store gave me a

prescription. Okay, he called it

a “receipt”.

Exercise makes you look better naked.

So does alcohol!

Your choice.

Silence is golden,

unless you have children, then silence is suspicious.


Alcohol Fills Coffee A FriendSelf Medicating Exercise Suspicious Silence

All Towels: 18”x27” Wholesale $3.33

Suggested Retail $7.99

It’s like my mom

always said, “What the

fuck is wrong with you?”

Please excuse the

mess... our standards have lowered

with each child.

You and I are sisters.

Always remember

that if you fall I will pick

you up. (as soon as I finish laughing)

I could agree with you, but

then we’d both be wrong.

We’ll be friends until

we are old and senile,

then we’ll be newfriends!

Remember as far as

anyone knows, we are a

nice, normal family.

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Mom Said Standards SistersAgree New Friends Normal Family

Your opinion

is not part of the recipe.

Fork it! Let’s order

take out.

Pretty sure

I’ve seized the wrong

day.

Relax, we’re

all crazy... It’s not a

competition.

It’s not called slurring your words, it’s called talking in

cursive and it’s fucking elegant.

My spirit animal is

a fat raccoon trying to get into

a dumpster.


Recipe Fork It! Wrong DayCrazy Slurring Spirit Animal

People say I act like I don’t

care… it’s not an act.

I hope someone steals

my identityand makes

something out of my life.

I’m pretty sure my last words will be “hold my drink and watch this”

I hate the sound

people make when words come out of their mouth.

Nobody wants to hear about

your diet, just eat your

kale and be sad.

Four out of five voices in my head think you’re an idiot. The other one

is talking about where to bury

your body.


Not an Act My Identity Last WordsThe Sound Sad Diet Idiot




If showing up in a robe and tiara with a

box of wine is wrong, then I don’t fully

understand the concept of

“Casual Friday”

After Monday & Tuesday even the

calendar says

WTFand I still want to

smack someone!

I meditate, I do yoga, I chant…

Inside every old person is a young

person wondering

“what the hell happened?”

I can only please one

person per day. Today is

not your day. Tomorrow

isn’t looking good either.

My decision-making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel

trying to cross the street.


Casual Friday WTF YogaOld Person People Pleaser Decision Making

I swear if my memory was any worse, I could plan

my own surprise party.

Grandparents

- so easy to operate,

even a child can do it.

Today has been

cancelled. Tomorrow

may be postponed.

Good moms let you lick the beaters. Great moms turn them off first.

Around here we don’t

hide crazy, we parade iton the porch and give it a cocktail.

Working hard so my

DOG can have a better life.

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Surprise Party Grandparents

Cancel Today

Good Moms

Porch Cocktails My Dog

1785 West Oak Parkway, Suite 3, Marietta, GA 30062Customer Service: 1-866-660-6603 | Fax: 1-800-213-3950 | Email: [email protected]




GOOD CLEAN FUNPrepack includes 3 x 24 of our ‘Good Clean Fun’ towels! Display included

with fill.

479-SFTCLEANPPKCost: 239.76Retail: 479.52

A LITTLE BIT DIRTYPrepack includes 3 x 24 of

our ‘A Little Bit Dirty’ towels! Display included with fill.

479-SFTDIRTYPPKCost: 239.76Retail: 479.52

TOWEL DISPLAYDisplay only. 4 Sided Towel

Display. Holds up to 144 towels. Free with fill.

5000-TOWELDISP

you’ll laugh until your face scrunches! · 2020-07-28 · you’ll laugh until your face...

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