you’re gonna miss me when i am gone - college board...letting go, a parent’s guide to...
TRANSCRIPT
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Membership Mobilization and Engagement: School Counselor Webinar Series
You’re Gonna Miss Me When I am Gone A presentation for the parents of senior students
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Presenter Debra F. Craig, M.A., Special Projects
• Debra is a nationally recognized education leader and school counseling professional and has served in a number of K-16 school counseling, instruction and leadership capacities. These roles have included College/Career Counselor, Interim Director of Professional Development and Chief Educational Manager of K-12 Services at the College Board, Southwestern Regional Office.
• Appointed to serve on the Texas Higher Education Coordinating Board (THECB) Common Application Committee and the Texas Guaranteed Student Loan Corporation, Debra has been involved providing expert guidance and leadership in student access, college admissions and financial aid policy.
• Debra was named Counselor of the Year by the Texas Counseling Association and was honored with the William Fleming for Counseling Excellence and the Founders’ Awards by the Texas Association for College Admission Counseling.
• Debra has led a number of award winning initiatives and programs to serve students and families including content creation for the Texas State University uPhone, Parent College Admission Course, and the Fish Bowl Freshman Orientation Programs.
• Debra holds a Master’s of Education in Guidance and Counseling from the University of Texas and a Bachelor of Science degree in Political Science from Texas Tech University.
Confidentiality statement
You’re Gonna Miss Me When I am Gone March 2014
Today’s Objectives
To examine the needs/benefits for a program for your seniors and their parents to help them transition from high school to life after the K12 world
To provide resources for students and parents to reference as they embark on this new milestone
To provide a model for a presentation for parents that will
help prepare them for this experience To examine ways to help build parent and student support
networks that can be set up for the postsecondary transition
First Day…..
Reaching the Goal…
The Idea
Spin-off from my parent classes on the college admissions process
From a session I attended at my state’s ACAC conference
Talking to my Seniors about their upcoming changes…college summer orientations, picking roommates, going away vs. staying home
Hearing from my graduates and their parents
The Reasons
Adjusting to college has been marked as an important step in the psychosocial development of individuals as they attempt to develop a cohesive ego identity.
Young adults are required to separate themselves from parents and families and adjust to an environment where the direct support and influence of parents is no longer present.
Students whose parents helped prepare them for the transition into college seemed to transition easier than students whose parents did not help them prepare.
Educational Psychology Review, 24, 133-165.Crede & Niehorster, 2011
The Reasons
A study by Holly Schiffrin and colleagues from the University of Mary Washington in the United States, published in Journal of Child and Family Studies indicates:
an inappropriate level of parental behavioral control was linked to negative well-being outcomes for students. Helicopter parenting behaviors were related to higher levels of depression and decreased satisfaction with life.
helicopter parenting behaviors were associated with lower levels of perceived autonomy, competence, and relatedness. And those who perceived they had less autonomy and competence were also more likely to be depressed.
The Timing
Publicized it in September
Held the session in late March early April
Asked the Senior Class officers to call to call every parent
Requested other seniors to make cookies cookies and “Thank you” signs
The Agenda
Last minute graduation details
Project Graduation
Provided checklists, reading lists, websites
Parent Panel
The Books
Your favorites
My favorites
Letting Go, A Parent’s Guide to Understanding the College Years
by Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger
Favorite line to quote:
“The most helpful parents are those who listen, acknowledge their child’s feelings, and allow him or her to generate some options.” (page 263)
The Books
My favorites
I’ll Miss You Too
by Margo Bane Woodacre and Steffany Bane
Favorite line to quote about the time when it it is close to the departure: “Tempers Tempers can flare and tears will flow.”
The Books
My NEW favorite
The iConnected Parent Staying Close to your Kids in College (and Beyond) While Letting Them Grow up
by Barbara Hofer, Ph.D and Abigail Moore
Study statistic: Students reported that parents are proofreading (19%) and editing (14%) their college papers.
The Checklists
End-of-year Items for School
Summer “To Do” List
Packing Lists
College Orientation Sessions
The Parent Panel
Two Dads, Three Moms
Out-of-State College
In City/Out of City College
Community College
Multiple Children
The Parent Panel
Sent a letter to the parents two weeks in advance
Attached list of questions
Ending the year
Realistic Expenses
College Orientations
Summer Issues
Top 2 Child Adjustments
Top 2 Personal Adjustments
Sibling Adjustments
Unique Situations
The Key Topics: Wrapping up the Senior Year
Getting important events
on the family calendar
Reviewing high school close-out issues
Making college deposits, signing up for orientations
Discussions on visiting family and friends
The Key Topics: Summer
The Key Topics: Summer
The Key Topics: Money
Review financial expectations
Establish process and communication
Assist with skills needed for managing money
The Key Topics: Communication
The Key Topics: Communication
A USA Today poll of 500 college students found that 50% only go 30 minutes without using digital technology
For first year college students 13.4 average weekly contacts 6.3 student initiated 7.1 parent initiated
14.5 average for females 11.3 average for males
The Key Topics: Children Adjusting
Independence
Academics
Social
When there is a problem
The Key Topics: Parent Adjustments
Loss of “BFF”
Loss of BFF’s friends
Family dynamic changes
Stay-at-Home Moms
Social Circle Changes
Life Milestone
Benefits
Helps equip parents with resources and information to proactively plan for the next few months with their Senior
Provides parents with peer parent advice and insight
Gives parents an opportunity to see and seek support networks
Guides parents to think about their own milestone and adjustment
Brings closure to the K12 cycle for students, parents, and my relationship with them.
Wrap Up
E-mail: [email protected]
College Counseling Resources College Board @ www.collegeboard.com
Apply to 4 or More Campaign http://counselorworkshops.collegeboard.org/apply-to-four-or-more
Big Future - College Planning https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org
Counselor Resource Page http://counselorworkshops.collegeboard.org/resources
College Counseling Sourcebook* • Nuts and Bolts of College Advising • Tips and resources from practicing school counselors • Chapters devoted to Special Populations including:
Low income and First Generation Students in Foster Care Students with Disabilities
* Join the Apply to 4 or More campaign and provide summary information to receive a complimentary PDF in Spring 2014
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College Board’s Professional Development Opportunity for School Counselors
Destination Equity 2014 focuses on counseling practices and programs that encourage access and success for students as they prepare for college and careers. Through compelling sessions and engaging dialogue, you will acquire hands-on strategies and tools that can be implemented at your school, in your district, in your community and at the state level.
Featured Plenary Speakers
Calvin Mackie - Friday, April 11th
Noma LeMoine - Saturday, April 12th
Featured Plenary Session
“Creating a Successful Launch of the New College Board Assessments” – Friday, April 11th
http://destinationequity.collegeboard.org/
Membership Mobilization & Engagement Spring 2014 Webinar Series
You’re Going to Miss Me When I’m Gone: Transitioning Students from High School To College
Wed., Mar. 12, 2014 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM EST
Building Leadership Skills in College and Career Readiness Counseling
Wed., Mar. 19, 2014 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM EST
School Counselors & College Access Providers: Partnership Power
Wed., April 30, 2014 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM EST
Register today!
To learn more, visit:
http://professionals.collegeboard.com/guidance or http://counselorworkshops.collegeboard.org/
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