… Likewise, ye husbands, … giving honour unto the wife, 1 Peter 3:7

HusbandsA Husband’s Role in Marriage

Week 15

Biblical Counseling

Basics2012 - 2013

Faith Baptist Church of Palm Bay

Biblical Counseling Basics Set #2

NOVEMBER / JANUARY 2013 (allowing for holidays)

1. 11/14/2012 – Idols of the Heart2. 11/28/2012 – Video Example of Counseling3. 12/05/2012 – Counseling Video Discussion4. 12/12/2012 – Video Example of Counseling 25. 12/19/2012 – Counseling Video Discussion 26. 01/09/2012 – The Purpose for Marriage7. 01/16/2012 - The Role of the Husband8. 01/30/2012 – The Role of the Wife

A Husband’s Role in MarriageWeek 15

Who makes the Coffee?

HusbandsWeek 15

“Only a Christian can fulfill the role

of a husband.” – Evangelist Oliver B. Greene

A Husband’s Role in MarriageTwo Reasons Why This is Very Important

Week 15

1. We do more marriage counseling than anything else • (90% couples or couples w/ children)

2. Good place to apply the principles personally

Husbands

“God has given you the privilege of letting your lips

say the words that your ears need to hear”

A Husband's Role in MarriageThree Words that Describe The Husband’s Role

Week 15

1.Learner

2.Lover

3.LeaderHusbands

1 Peter 3:7Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel,

and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageI. Learner

Week 15

Dave Bond and Patti’s Strawberry Shortcake

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageI. Learner

Week 15

A. A Command1. World Says: “You can’t

Understand a Woman”2. A command that takes time3. A command that takes

study

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageFifty Questions to Ask Your Wife

(samples)

Week 15

1. What are your 5 favorite foods, with the most favorite first?

6. What are your 5 favorite hobbies, with the most favorite first?

11. What is your favorite verse(s) of the Bible? Why?

26. What things (personal, home, car, etc.) need repairing?

35. What concerns do you have that I do not seem interested in?

49. What personal habits do I have that you would like changed?

50. What ways demonstrate to you that you are a very important person who is as important or more important than I am? Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageI. Learner

Week 15

B. A Command to Treat Her as Fragile …as unto the weaker vessel … (1 Peter 3:7)

Husbands

• Marathon• Rangers

A Husband's Role in MarriageI. Learner

Week 15

C. Learning Affect Your Spiritual Life … that your prayers be not hindered … (1 Peter 3:7)

Husbands

• Hamlet

A Husband's Role in MarriageII. Lover

Week 15

A. What is Love?1. American Culture doesn’t help

• Feeling, Sex, Falling in/out, Infatuation, Lust, Getting another mother

2. Biblical View:• John 3:16• Galatians 2:20

Husbands

John 3:16

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but

have everlasting life.

Husbands

Galatians 2:20I am crucified with Christ: neverthless I

live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved

me, and gave himself for me.

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageII. Lover

Week 15

A. What is Love?3. Biblical Love is a test of

God-like masculinity Ephesians 5:25

(not weak / effeminate as Christ is sometimes portrayed) Husbands

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church,

and gave himself for it;

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageII. Lover

Week 15

B. What Degrees of Love are we to show?

1. First 1 John 4:19 (not other female friends or co-workers)

Husbands

1 John 4:19

We love him, because he first loved us.

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageII. Lover

Week 15

B. What Degrees of Love are we to show?

1. First 1 John 4:192. Most Ephesians 5:25

Husbands

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church,

and gave himself for it;

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageII. Lover

Week 15

B. What Degrees of Love are we to show?

1. First 1 John 4:192. Most Ephesians 5:253. Sacrificial Ephesians 5:25

Husbands

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church,

and gave himself for it;

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageII. Lover

Week 15

B. What Degrees of Love are we to show?

1. First 1 John 4:192. Most Ephesians 5:253. Sacrificial Ephesians 5:25

Howard Hendricks Golf SacrificeFamily Man

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageII. Lover

Week 15

B. What Degrees of Love are we to show?

1. First 1 John 4:192. Most Ephesians 5:253. Sacrificial Ephesians 5:254. Unmistakable 1 John 3:18

100 Daily Loving Deeds ListTaking Trash out; Reagan Letters

Husbands

1 John 3:18

My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but

in deed and in truth.

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageII. Lover

Week 15

B. What Degrees of Love are we to show?

5. In Spite of Faults Romans 5:8

Husbands

Romans 5:8

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were

yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageII. Lover

Week 15

B. What Degrees of Love are we to show?

5. In Spite of Faults Romans 5:86. Without Bitterness Colossians 3:19

Husbands

Colossians 3:19

Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageII. Lover

Week 15

B. What Degrees of Love are we to show?

5. In Spite of Faults Romans 5:86. Without Bitterness Colossians 3:19

Year-old Stories50 Year-old problem

7. Love as our own Bodies Ephesians 5:28 (Food, Exercise, grooming)

Husbands

Ephesians 5:28

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that

loveth his wife loveth himself.

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageIII. Leader – Matt 20

Week 15

A. What Leadership is not1. A Dictator

a. Parable of laborers v. 1-16

Husbands

Matthew 20:1-16

1 For the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that is an householder, which went out early in the morning to hire

labourers into his vineyard. 2 And when he had agreed with the labourers for a penny a day,

he sent them into his vineyard. 3 And he went out about the third hour, and saw others standing

idle in the marketplace, 4 And said unto them; Go ye also into the vineyard, and

whatsoever is right I will give you. And they went their way. 5 Again he went out about the sixth and ninth hour, and did

likewise. 6 And about the eleventh hour he went out,

and found others standing idle, and saith unto them, Why stand ye here all the day idle?

Husbands

Matthew 20:1-16

7 They say unto him, Because no man hath hired us. He saith unto them, Go ye also into the vineyard; and whatsoever is right,

that shall ye receive. 8 So when even was come, the lord of the vineyard saith unto his steward, Call the labourers, and give them their hire, beginning

from the last unto the first. 9 And when they came that were hired about the eleventh hour,

they received every man a penny. 10 But when the first came, they supposed that they should have

received more; and they likewise received every man a penny. 11 And when they had received it, they

murmured against the goodman of the house,

Husbands

Matthew 20:1-16

12 Saying, These last have wrought but one hour, and thou hast made them equal unto us, which have borne the burden and heat

of the day. 13 But he answered one of them, and said, Friend, I do thee no

wrong: didst not thou agree with me for a penny? 14 Take that thine is, and go thy way: I will give unto this last,

even as unto thee. 15 Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? Is

thine eye evil, because I am good? 16 So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called,

but few chosen.

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageIII. Leader – Matt 20

Week 15

A. What Leadership is not1. A Dictator

a. Parable of laborers v. 1-16

b. Example: Unselfish Service v. 17-19

Christ describes his death

Husbands

Matthew 20:17-1917 And Jesus going up to Jerusalem took the twelve disciples

apart in the way, and said unto them, 18 Behold, we go up to Jerusalem; and the Son of man shall be betrayed unto the chief priests and unto the scribes, and they

shall condemn him to death, 19 And shall deliver him to the Gentiles to mock, and to scourge,

and to crucify him: and the third day he shall rise again.

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageIII. Leader – Matt 20

Week 15

A. What Leadership is not1. A Dictator

a. Parable of laborers v. 1-16

b. Example: Unselfish Service v. 17-19

c. Example of selfish service v. 20-24

Husbands

Matthew 20:20-2420 Then came to him the mother of Zebedees children with her

sons, worshipping him, and desiring a certain thing of him. 21 And he said unto her, What wilt thou? She saith unto him,

Grant that these my two sons may sit, the one on thy right hand, and the other on the left, in thy kingdom.

22 But Jesus answered and said, Ye know not what ye ask. Are ye able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of, and to be

baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with? They say unto him, We are able.

23 And he saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of my cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with: but to sit on my right hand, and on my left, is not mine to give, but it shall

be given to them for whom it is prepared of my Father.

24 And when the ten heard it, they were moved with indignation against the two brethren. Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageIII. Leader – Matt 20

Week 15

A. What Leadership is not1. A Dictator

d. Theme of servanthood applied leadership

“The test of your servanthood is how you respond when you are treated like one.”

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageIII. Leader – Matt 20

Week 15

A. What Leadership is not2. All the Decision-Making

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageIII. Leader – Matt 20

Week 15

B. Positive Pace SetterChrist Trained 12 guys well and then left

Husbands

Situation Selfish Leader Servant Leader

1. Children bickering in front of T.V.

2. Decision to buy a new car.

3. Wife says something

inappropriate at church.

What’s For Dinner

Pick-up Truck

Public Correction

Turn off TV and take kids

Include Wife in decision

Admonish Encourage in private

A Husband's Role in MarriageIII. Leader – Matt 20

Week 15

B. Positive Pace Setter1. Focus On Wife’s Needs

Philippians 2:20-21Ephesians 6:4

Husbands

Philippians 2:20-21

20 - For I have no man likeminded, who will naturally care for your state.

21 - For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ's.

Husbands

Ephesians 6:4

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition

of the Lord.

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageIII. Leader – Matt 20

Week 15

B. Positive Pace Setter1. Focus On Wife’s Needs Phil 2:20-21; Eph. 6:4

2. Goal Oriented

Ephesians 5:26-28

Husbands

Ephesians 5:26-2826 - That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 - That he might

present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy

and without blemish. 28 - So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth

himself.

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageIII. Leader – Matt 20

Week 15

B. Positive Pace Setter1. Focus On Wife’s Needs Phil 2:20-21; Eph. 6:4

2. Goal Oriented Eph. 5:26-28

3. Set Example of Self Control

Philippians 4:9Jeremiah 35:5-6

Husbands

Philippians 4:9Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard,

and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

Husbands

Jeremiah 35:5-65 - And I set before the sons of the house of the

Rechabites pots full of wine, and cups, and I said unto them, Drink ye wine. 6 - But they said, We

will drink no wine: for Jonadab the son of Rechab our father commanded us, saying, Ye

shall drink no wine, neither ye, nor your sons for ever:

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageIII. Leader – Matt 20

Week 15

B. Positive Pace Setter1. Focus On Wife’s Needs Phil 2:20-21; Eph. 6:4

2. Goal Oriented Eph. 5:26-28

3. Set Example of Self Control Phil. 4:9; Jer. 35:5-6

4. Solve Problems

Ephesians 4:29

Husbands

Ephesians 4:29Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of

edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageIII. Leader – Matt 20

Week 15

B. Positive Pace Setter5. Teacher6. Lives Joyfully7. Spiritual Leadership

Husbands

A Husband's Role in MarriageRecommended Resources for Further Study:

Week 15

Priolo, Lou. The Complete Husband.Scott, Stuart. The Exemplary Husband.Farrar, Steve. Point Man.Mack, Wayne. Strengthening Your Marriage.Mack, Wayne. Homework Manual for Biblical

Counseling - Vol. 2.Adams, Jay. Christian Living in the Home.

Husbands

A Husband’s Role in MarriageAdditional Handouts:

Week 15

50 Questions to Ask Your Wife

103 Ways a Husband May Express Love to His Wife

How to Show Love for Your Wife(17 major points)

Score Card for Husbands – by Wayne Mack(Instructions included with the Husband’s Score Card)

Wives

Questions

Biblical Counseling Basics Set #2

NOVEMBER / JANUARY 2013 (allowing for holidays)

1. 11/14/2012 – Idols of the Heart2. 11/28/2012 – Video Example of Counseling3. 12/05/2012 – Counseling Video Discussion4. 12/12/2012 – Video Example of Counseling 25. 12/19/2012 – Counseling Video Discussion 26. 01/09/2012 – The Purpose for Marriage7. 01/16/2012 - The Role of the Husband8. 01/30/2012 – The Role of the Wife

Biblical Counseling

Basics

2012

Faith Baptist Church of Palm Bay