student blaming tutor student not being reliable student guilting tutor to do things attitude...
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Student blaming tutor Student not being reliable Student guilting tutor to do things Attitude problems Problems you can’t adequately address
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Example: attributing bad grades to your lack of helpfulness or knowledge
We know: Tutors are not ultimately responsible for a student’s grades/performance, some students may not have the ability to do well enough (ZPD)
They need to know:___________________
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Example: not showing up on time, not having completed work
We know: The sessions will not be effective if student’s don’t uphold their end of the bargain, it’s not okay for a student to keep doing this to you
They need to know:____________________
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Example: asking you to do things they know you can’t do, making you feel sorry for them (or responsible for them)
We know: Student is ultimately responsible, you are only required to do what your job requires
They need to know:___________________
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Example: refusing to work with you, expressing negative views of you, thinks everyone is against them
We know: It’s unacceptable for students to be rude to you, attitudes may be result of high emotions, student will probably need to change attitude to be successful
They need to know:___________________
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Example: student needs to be referred, emotional problems, problems you just don’t have an answer for yet
We know: tutors are not required to be able to solve every problem
They need to know:____________________
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We know what the students need to know-
but how do we say it to them?
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Assertive: an honest expression of one’s feelings and needs
Aggressive: standing up for yourself in a way that hurts others
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Do you ask for help if you need it? Can you express anger appropriately? Do you volunteer your opinions even if
they are different from others? Are you able to say “no”? Why do people want to avoid being
assertive?
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Basic – simple statement of your feelings or beliefs
Empathic – recognition of other’s feelings as well as your own
Escalating – becoming increasingly more assertive if other person doesn’t respond
I-Language – taking focus away from blaming other person, and putting it on how you feel
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Change your thinking Use good communication skills Practice Keep it natural (be sincere)