1 Samuel 18-20

Faithful Friendship

Jonathan and David

July 31, 2016

First Baptist Church

Jackson, Mississippi

USA

What’s the number one thing?

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The Glory of God!

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1 Corinthians 10:31

31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

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JULY MEMORY VERSE

1 Peter 2:1616 Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God.

References

• ESV (English Standard Version) Study Bible (Wheaton, IL, 2008).

•Keller, Timothy, FRIENDSHIP – A Sermon Series on Proverbs on May 29, 2005 at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in NYC available on YouTube.

Introduction To 1 Samuel 18-20(Review of 1 Samuel 13-17)

• Saul was Israel’s first king and he did not follow God’s commands and acted foolishly.

• Samuel informed Saul that the kingdom would not extend through his lineage because of disobedience.

• Jonathan, Saul’s 1st son, was aware that he was not going to be the next king after his father.

• Jonathan was a mighty warrior in Israel’s army.

God Prepares David

•David was anointed by Samuel to be king before meeting Saul or Jonathan.

•David becomes Saul’s harpist (music therapist).

•David becomes Saul’s armor-bearer.

•David kills Goliath and brings his head to Jerusalem as a trophy and keeps Goliath’s weapons.

•David follows God’s leading even in danger.

1 Samuel 18:1-3 (ESV)

1 As soon as he (David) had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 2 And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father's house. 3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.

1 Samuel 18:4-5 (ESV)

4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt. 5 And David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him, so that Saul set him over the men of war. And this was good in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul's servants.

1 Samuel 18:6-7 (ESV)

6 As they were coming home, when David returned from striking down the Philistine, the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with songs of joy, and with musical instruments. 7 And the women sang to one another as they celebrated,

"Saul has struck down his thousands,

and David his ten thousands."

1 Samuel 18:8-9 (ESV)

8 And Saul was very angry, and this saying displeased him. He said, "They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed thousands, and what more can he have but the kingdom?" 9 And Saul eyed David from that day on.

1 Samuel 18:10-11 (ESV)

10 The next day a harmful spirit from God rushed upon Saul, and he raved within his house while David was playing the lyre, as he did day by day. Saul had his spear in his hand. 11 And Saul hurled the spear, for he thought, "I will pin David to the wall." But David evaded him twice.

1 Samuel 18:12-14 (ESV)

12 Saul was afraid of David because the Lord was with him but had departed from Saul. 13 So Saul removed him from his presence and made him a commander of a thousand. And he went out and came in before the people. 14 And David had success in all his undertakings, for the Lord was with him.

1 Samuel 18:15-16 (ESV)

15 And when Saul saw that he had great success, he stood in fearful awe of him. 16 But all Israel and Judah loved David, for he went out and came in before them.

What was the relationship of Saul and David?

• Saul has become jealous and envious of David’s military success and popularity with the people.

• Saul lived in fear of David.

• Saul knew that David was blessed by God.

• Saul is now on a mission to kill David or get him killed.

What was the relationship between Jonathan and David?

• Jonathan embraces David’s role as future king instead of himself.

• Jonathan and David form a close friendship.

• Jonathan becomes David’s protector.

• Jonathan has an unwavering faith in the purposes of God.

Summary of 1 Samuel 18:17-19:24

• Saul’s daughter Michal is in love with David.

• Saul requires the marriage price for Michal of 100 Philistine foreskins thinking David will get killed getting these.

•David brings 200 foreskins and marries Michal.

• Saul continues to try to kill David or have him killed.

Interesting Family Dynamics

•David’s best friend is his brother-in-law (Jonathan).

•David’s worst enemy is his father-in-law (Saul).

•David’s worst enemy is also his wife’s father and his best friend’s father.

1 Samuel 20:1-2 (ESV)

1 Then David fled from Naioth in Ramah and came and said before Jonathan, "What have I done? What is my guilt? And what is my sin before your father, that he seeks my life?" 2 And he said to him, "Far from it! You shall not die. Behold, my father does nothing either great or small without disclosing it to me. And why should my father hide this from me? It is not so."

1 Samuel 20:3-4 (ESV)

3 But David vowed again, saying, "Your father knows well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he thinks, 'Do not let Jonathan know this, lest he be grieved. ' But truly, as the Lord lives and as your soul lives, there is but a step between me and death." 4 Then Jonathan said to David, "Whatever you say, I will do for you."

Summary of 1 Samuel 20:5-34

•David and Jonathan devise a plan to test if Saul really wants David killed.•David will miss an important dinner with King Saul.• Jonathan will say he gave David permission to be

absent.• Saul’s reaction will show his attitude toward David.• Jonathan and David have an archery signal plan to tell

David of Saul’s intentions.

1 Samuel 20:30-31 (ESV)

30 Then Saul's anger was kindled against Jonathan, and he said to him, "You son of a perverse, rebellious woman, do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame, and to the shame of your mother's nakedness? 31 For as long as the son of Jesse lives on the earth, neither you nor your kingdom shall be established. Therefore send and bring him to me, for he shall surely die."

1 Samuel 20:32-34 (ESV)

32 Then Jonathan answered Saul his father, "Why should he be put to death? What has he done?" 33 But Saul hurled his spear at him to strike him. So Jonathan knew that his father was determined to put David to death. 34

And Jonathan rose from the table in fierce anger and ate no food the second day of the month, for he was grieved for David, because his father had disgraced him.

1 Samuel 20:35-37 (ESV)

35 In the morning Jonathan went out into the field to the appointment with David, and with him a little boy. 36 And he said to his boy, "Run and find the arrows that I shoot." As the boy ran, he shot an arrow beyond him. 37 And when the boy came to the place of the arrow that Jonathan had shot, Jonathan called after the boy and said, "Is not the arrow beyond you?"

1 Samuel 20:38-40 (ESV)

38 And Jonathan called after the boy, "Hurry! Be quick! Do not stay!" So Jonathan's boy gathered up the arrows and came to his master. 39 But the boy knew nothing. Only Jonathan and David knew the matter. 40 And Jonathan gave his weapons to his boy and said to him, "Go and carry them to the city."

1 Samuel 20:41 (ESV)

41 And as soon as the boy had gone, David rose from beside the stone heap and fell on his face to the ground and bowed three times. And they kissed one another and wept with one another, David weeping the most.

1 Samuel 20:42 (ESV)

42 Then Jonathan said to David, "Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, 'The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever. '" And he rose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city.

Why does Saul want David dead?

• Saul was jealous of David.

• Saul wanted his own son Jonathan to be King.

• Saul was determined to change God’s plans.

• Saul had no conscience left in him.

Jonathan and David – Misinterpretations

1. The relationship was NOT a homosexual relationship.

2. Men and women can have deep and loving same-sex relationships of friendship that are not sexual.

3. David and Jonathan were both married and had children.

4. David was punished by God for adultery with Bathsheba.

Lesson Application of Friendship(Sermon by Timothy Keller)

Jonathan and David – A Model of Friendship

1. The Uniqueness of Friendship

2. The Discovery of Friendship

3. The Forging of Friendship

1. The Uniqueness of Friendship

Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

• Companion = Someone who is friendly because you are “useful” to them.• Nothing wrong with these casual relationships.

• Friend = Someone who has chosen you not as a means to an end, but an end in yourself.

Why does a friend stick closer than a brother?

• Siblings will (may) be there for you, but they may not like you!

• You cannot choose your family, but a friend has chosen you.

•A friend makes a commitment out of love.

• Friendship brings something to your life that family cannot bring.

The Uniqueness of Friendship

Proverbs 18:24 (NIV)24 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

• People perish because of poor choices in friends.• You are what your family makes you early on, and then

later you are what your friends make you.

2. The Discovery of Friendship

Proverbs 18:24 (NIV)24 One who has unreliable friends (plural) soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend (singular) who sticks closer than a brother.

• True friends are not that many (few).• True friends must be discovered.• True friendships cannot be forced or invented.

2. The Discovery of Friendship

Proverbs 27:9 (ESV)9 Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.• Sugar had not been discovered yet and sweetness

could not be created, so sweetness had to be discovered in foods.• Friendship is the same – it cannot be created.

How do you discover friendship? A Quote by C.S. Lewis.

“Christ, who said to the disciples, “Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,” can truly say to every group of Christian friends, “Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.” The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.”

What is the meaning of “forging friendships?”

Proverbs 27:17 (ESV)17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

• Forge = a process of shaping metal using compressive forces (pressure) and heat.

• God uses our friends to “sharpen” one another to make us more effective in serving Him.

4 Things You Must Do To Forge A Friendship

1. Constancy

2. Carefulness

3. Candor

4. Counsel

1. Constancy – the quality of being faithful and dependable.

Proverbs 17:17 (ESV)17 A friend loves at all times,

• You cannot be a friend without availability.• A friend is there for you during your time of need.• A friend moves to action instead of saying “call me if you

need anything!”

Constancy Warning!!!

Proverbs 25:17 (ESV)17 Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor's house, lest he have his fill of you and hate you.

• Friends should not be “all consuming” or “clingy”

2. Carefulness – emotional connectivity.

Proverbs 27:14 (ESV)14 Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing.

• A friend gives you the gift of emotionally connectivity and knows the appropriate timing for you.

• A friend cannot be happy if you are unhappy.• Once you have children, you are only as happy as your

unhappiest child!

3. Candor- Friends must be told the truth.

Proverbs 27:5-6 (ESV)5 Better is open rebuke than hidden love. 6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

• Hiding truth is the same as being an enemy.• Hidden love – “I love you too much to tell you the truth”,

is really, “ I love myself too much to go thru that with you”.

4. Counsel – “secrets from the heart”.

Proverbs 27:9 (ESV)9 Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.

• Earnest = “from the heart”/Counsel = “secrets”.• A friend always keeps a confidence and has your best

interest at heart.

Summary of the 4 Traits of a True Friendship.

A friend always lets you in (constancy & carefulness), and never lets you down (candor & counsel).

The 2 feelings after a lesson on friendship.

1. Feelings of longing – We do not have all the friends our hearts need.• Friends come and go in our lives for many reasons.

2. The profile of friendship is convicting.• We are not always the friends we should be.• We do fail our friends.

The Friend Who Never Fails – Jesus.

•God created man in His own image to have a relationship (friendship) with Him.•Adam and Eve’s sin severed that friendship between

man and God.• Jesus came to earth to restore that friendship.• Jesus experienced loss of friendship with God while

dying on the cross so we can have friendship with God.

Jesus – The Perfect Friend.

John 15:12-15 (ESV)12 "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

Jesus – The Perfect Friend.

John 15:16-17 (ESV)16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. 17 These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

Closing Thoughts on Friendship.

• True friends are a gift from God.

•Nourish the friendships that you have (Constancy, Carefulness, Candor and Counsel).

•Make Jesus the friend your heart desires, and you will have all the friends your heart needs.

The Plan of Hope & Salvation

John 3:16 (ESV)16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

John 14:6 (ESV)6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

The Plan of Hope & Salvation

Romans 3:23 (ESV)23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Romans 6:23a (ESV)23a For the wages of sin is death,

• Death in this life (the first death) is 100%.• Even Jesus, the only one who doesn’t deserve death, died in this life

to pay the penalty for our sins. • The death referred to in Romans 6:23a is the second death

explained in Revelation 21:8.

The Plan of Hope & Salvation

Revelation 21:8 (ESV)8 “But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”

Romans 5:8 (ESV)8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

The Plan of Hope & Salvation

Romans 6:23b (ESV)23b but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Revelation 21:7 (ESV)7 “The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son.”

Romans 10:9-10 explains to us how to be conquers.

The Plan of Hope & Salvation

Romans 10:9-10 (ESV)9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.

Romans 10:13 (ESV)13 For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

The Plan of Hope & Salvation

If you have questions or would like to know more, Please, contact First Baptist Church Jackson at 601-949-1900 or http://firstbaptistjackson.org/contact/