10 days to toughness - life leadership & mental...

10 DAYS TO TOUGHNESS 1

10 DAYS TO TOUGHNESS: Daily Mental Toughness Workouts for the Serious Athlete

This workbook is about developing vital behaviors necessary to be a top competitor. You must lead yourself to the top in sports by taking control of how you act and react in competition. Use this workbook to perfect your Mental Game.

Why read this book? 1. You want to become really good at sports. 2. You want to be known as “mentally tough.” 3. After you get angry, you find you can’t recover, relax and play well again or “quick enough” 4. You find your mind is distracted. 5. Nerves affect you and you get tight, especially at big moments. 6. You can’t seem to “finish” 7. People tell you that you are talented but you can’t perform well on game day. 8. You are starting to think about quitting because its’ just so frustrating…. 9. People talk about how important the mental side is but you have no idea what they really mean or how to become “mentally tough” 10. You have no goals – you feel directionless How to use this book: 1. Find 15 minutes alone with a writing tool and this book. The best times are:

a. Right before practice b. Right after practice c. Right before bed d. Right after waking up e. During lunch or breakfast (you have to eat anyway, so make the most of that time)

2. If you notice you don’t easily find a time, then set up an alarm on your phone to remind you. It’s easy to forget – but you wouldn’t forget practice, would you? You must be just as committed to practicing your Mental Game. 3. Don’t forget to PRACTICE WHAT YOU LEARN. Just putting information in your head, will NEVER make it a part of your game. DO THE WORK! COMPLETE EACH ACTIVITY 100% Get extra mileage from this book by:

• Starting at a chapter that addresses a concern you are currently having. Whenever you have a problem, you are always more receptive to learning.

• SHARE WHAT YOU ARE LEARNING with your coach, friends, parents. By explaining it to others, you will reinforce it to yourself.

• GET A FRIEND AND DO IT TOGETHER. It’s always more fun to do things with others. Set up a time to discuss what you have learned or just talk about it at practice.


VITAL BEHAVIORS OF A LEADER COVERED IN THIS BOOK

All workbook activities fall into these 8 SPORTS PSYCH TOPICS.

Mastery of these 8 will mean you are the athlete everyone labels as a “LEADER” AND AS “MENTALLY TOUGH.”

Leaders MUST:

COPE WITH ADVERSITY Leaders must remain positive and

enthusiastic when things go badly; it’s key to learn to remain calm and controlled so you

can bounce back after mistakes

BE COACHABLE Leaders are highly curious, fierce listeners, and unafraid to ask questions. They accept

criticism without taking it personally

CONCENTRATE Leaders stay focused in both practice and

games instead of letting unexpected situations, thoughts or sights distract them

FIND HEALTHY MOTIVATION Leaders consistently give 100% in all

situations, working hard to improve. A focus on winning may pay today; but a

focus on improvement pays for a lifetime.

MASTER DELIBERATE PRACTICE Leaders have a clear practice plan, clearly

defined goals and a purposeful plan for measuring personal improvement daily

PEAK WHEN UNDER PRESSURE Leaders don’t panic when things get tough

– they see it as a challenge and strive to overcome. They do NOT fear of failure –

instead they despise any amount of giving up

PLAY WITH FREEDOM FROM WORRY Leaders don’t worry about what others will

think or about things they can’t control. They fight to do their best, period.

MAXIMIZE BELIEF Leaders develop strong belief and

proactive confidence to resist doubt


TABLE OF CONTENTS:

Day 1: …………………………………………………………………………………………………….PAGE 5 Cope with Adversity = USING STRONG BELIEFS

Day 2: ……………………………………………………………………………………………………..PAGE 9 Cope with Adversity = USING ROLE MODELS – WHO IS INSPRING YOU?

Day 3: ……………………………………………………………………………………………………..PAGE 13 Be Coachable = DEFENSE IS GOOD. DEFENSIVENESS IS BAD.

Day 4: …………………………………………………………………………………………………….PAGE 17 Concentrate = HOW TO STOP FEELING SO DISTRACTED

Day 5: …………………………………………………………………………………………………….PAGE 21 Have Healthy Motivation = IF WINNING IS ALL YOU CARE ABOUT, READ THIS Day 6: ……………………………………………………………………………………………………PAGE 27 Peak Under Pressure = BE THE BEST IN THE FINAL MOMENTS Day7: …………………………………………………………………………………………………….PAGE 31 Peak Under Pressure = TAKING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY Day 8: …………………………………………………………………………………………………..PAGE 35 Have Healthy Motivation = KNOW YOUR WEAKNESSES Day 9: …………………………………………………………………………………………………..PAGE 41 Master Deliberate Practice = INVEST, DON’T JUST SHOW UP Day 10:………………………………………………………………………………………………..PAGE 45 Freedom from Worry = STOP ACTING LIKE GOD


TOPIC: COPE WITH ADVERSITY

DAY 1 – MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS BY MANAGING YOUR THOUGHTS

Let’s start at the beginning. The biggest thing that knocks athletes off their tracks is emotions. They get uptight and mad and for, awhile, and, sometimes, a long while. The result: They do not perform near to their ability. So, let’s stop THE ANGRY TRAIN and start managing your emotions. Here’s suggestion No. 1:

TRY THIS TECHNIQUE TO CONTROL YOUR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS: USE THE “A-B-C’S”

When anger happens, it’s often NOT the situation that makes us angry. It is what we BELIEVE ABOUT THAT SITUATION. For instance, if a player misses a shot, their BELIEF might be: “I never miss that shot. I’m playing terrible today.” Consequently, they have very little hope for the day. They have successfully translated ONE error into “I’m playing terrible TODAY.” They do what is called “generalizing.” They make a mountain out of a molehill, as they say, which means they make one mistake into a bigger problem because of the THOUGHT they have AFTER the mistake. If you decide, after 1 or 2 mistakes or miscues, that your whole day is ruined -- How will you play? I’m thinking your performance will, certainly, not improve very soon. BUT-- If you miss a shot and your BELIEF is something positive, like: “I NEVER miss that shot. I won’t miss it again.” NOW – you have much more hope. AND, you won’t feel angry. Who can feel angry when they are “hopeful?” You CAN’T. It’s just not possible.


So, the thought that goes through your head after any mistake, and the words you say to yourself WILL regulate your emotion. The THOUGHT/BELIEF combination will make or break your next few minutes, moves or plays. So, it’s important to identify what you BELIEVE about things and, if that BELIEF is not helpful and it makes you feel angry, then you must DISPUTE THE BELIEF AND CREATE A NEW ONE. Here is how this goes: A = ACTIVATING EVENT – SOMETHING BAD THAT HAPPENS – SUCH AS A MISTAKE

OR A STRIKE OUT OR A MISSED SHOT B = BELIEF – WHAT YOU BELIEVE ABOUT THE “ACTIVATING EVENT” SUCH AS: “I WILL NEVER

GET ANOTHER BREAK POINT” OR “HOW EMBARRASSING TO MISS THAT”

C = CONSEQUENCE – WHEN YOU HAVE A NEGATIVE BELIEF, YOU PANIC, WORRY, GET MAD BECAUSE YOUR HOPES ARE REDUCED, YOU ARE EMBARRASSED, OR YOU DOUBT YOUR

CHANCES. YOU ARE MAD, BUT NOT AT THE ACTION, AT YOUR BELIEF ABOUT THE ACTION.

SO, TO REDUCE YOUR EMOTION AND ANGER, YOU MUST LEARN TO THINK DIFFERENTLY.

D = YOU MUST DISPUTE HARMFUL BELIEFS

YOU CAN CHOOSE TO THINK ABOUT THINGS THAT WILL HELP YOU INSTEAD OF BEING NEGATIVE AND WORRYING. SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR A BETTER BELIEF ARE:

“I WILL GET THE NEXT ONE” OR

“I USUALLY NEVER MISS THAT SHOT, SO I WON’T MISS AGAIN” OR

“IT WAS THE RIGHT SHOT OR TO THE RIGHT SPOT, I JUST MISSED IT”


ACTION ITEM: IDENTIFY A TIME WHEN YOU FELT ANGRY IN A COMPETITION, SUCH AS WHEN A MISTAKE AFFECTED

YOU OR A SITUATION AFFECTED YOU:

WHAT WAS THE “ACTIVATING EVENT” IN YOUR SITUATION?

NOW, WHAT WAS THE BELIEF YOU HAD ABOUT THE “ACTIVATING EVENT”?

WHAT WAS THE CONSECQUENCE OF YOUR BELIEF? DESCRIBE YOUR EMOTIONS IN THIS SITUATION?

NOW: DISPUTE THE BELIEF. WHAT NEW BELIEF COULD YOU HAVE HAD?

DESCRIBE THE EMOTION(S) YOU FEEL WHEN YOU THINK OF YOUR NEW BELIEF? (HOPEFULLY, THEY ARE MUCH LESSS NEGATIVE 😊😊)


DAILY SUMMARY – DAY 1:

WHEN YOUR EMOTIONS GET CRAZY AND YOUR PERFORMANCE IS NEGATIVELY

AFFECTED BY YOUR beliefs, YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR beliefs.

THINK ABOUT IT:

1. YOU CANNOT POUT AND THINK ABOUT YOUR NEXT MOVE AT THE SAME TIME. 2. NEGATIVE ENERGY FUELS YOUR OPPONENT WHILE IT DRAGS YOU DOWN – THAT’S DOUBLE GOOD FOR

YOUR OPPONENT BUT NOT FOR YOU! 3. NEGATIVE THOUGHTS SHOW LACK OF BELIEF IN YOURSELF 4. PERFECTION IS NEVER AN OPTION. YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES. BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN. 5. ACCEPTING MISTAKES AND MOVING ON IS A SKILL YOU MUST LEARN

TODAY, I LEARNED:

FROM NOW ON, I WILL:

10 days to toughness - life leadership & mental...

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