10 stand-up comedy secrets€¦ · introductions are one of the most neglected aspects of stand-up...

10 Stand-Up Comedy Secrets

By Greg Dean 1


Here are 10 Secrets to Get You In Front Of a Crowd And Wow Them Out of Their Seats…FREE…

From Greg Dean the International Stand-Up Comedy Teacher and Author of the book Step by Step to Stand-Up Comedy.

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By Greg Dean 2

Secret 1 Have an Introduction

Introductions are one of the most neglected aspects of stand-up comedy. An introduction is the first line of your show, even though you don’t say it. How you’re brought on stage will set the tone for the rest of your show. Of course, it’s best to come on with a laugh that foreshadows your particular comic slant. Since most M.C.’s won’t know you, supply them with an introduction that will bring you on stage the way you want. You may assume the M.C. is competent. That’s a very bad assumption. Especially at open mike rooms, the M.C.’s are often control freaks who want stage time so much they’re willing to run the whole evening. I began giving my own introduction to M.C.’s after one introduced me as…

“The man who invented the blow-job.” Be forewarned, there are some M.C.’s who won’t use the introduction you provide. They’re going to do whatever they want. The best option here is to get to know them personally so they’ll want to help you because they like you. Until then, you’ll just have to live with it. You can only do what you can do.

You can practice all the secrets in this book and learn many more in

Step By Step to Stand-Up Comedy - Workbook Series.

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By Greg Dean 3

Secret 2 Never tell the M.C., “Just say anything.”

Even if you happen upon a good M.C., giving him or her permission to “Just say anything” is a bad idea. A comedian I know, when he’s the M.C. and people tell him this, he loves to mess with them. Here is a paraphrase of one of his “educational” introductions:

“Our next dickhead is a knuckle dragging, mouth-breather, who made a big mistake when he entered the club tonight. He told me he was going to get more laughs than the other comics because this audience would laugh at anything since you have the I.Q. of a cuff link. And besides that, he hates the troops. Make up your own mind – here’s Joe Blow.” Yes, the comic’s show was a nightmare. After the show, the comic blew up at the M.C., but the M.C. laughed it off, and said, “You told me I could say anything. So shut up, and next time, give me an introduction.” Don’t be a sucker. Be as much in charge of your show as you can.

Secret 3 Greet the Audience

It’s very awkward when a nervous comic runs right to the microphone and goes into his routine:

“I hate bumper stickers.” It lacks social grace. I’m not saying you must have a conversation with the audience at the top of the show, but merely saying, “Hello,” makes the audience feel acknowledged. One of my pet peeves is when all the comics say exactly the same thing. This obligatory greeting is what I call a Comic’s Cliché. Comic’s Clichés are all the commonly used phrases comics repeat because they heard other comics use them. How many times during a show does the audience want to be asked?



By Greg Dean 4

“How you all doin’ tonight?” “Wus up?”

“Are you enjoying the show so far?” “By a show of hands how many people here…” Instead, greet the audience like you would with any conversation with strangers. Say, “Hello,” and introduce yourself. If you want more of a greeting beyond that, be honest about how you’re feeling right at that moment,

“I’m glad to be here, but I’m a little nervous.” Be genuine and the audience will respond in kind.

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By Greg Dean 5

Secret 4 Have an Opening Line

After you greet the audience, it’ll help you relax if your first shot at being funny gets a big laugh. What most comics don’t know is it also helps the audience to relax. They have anxiety about having to sit through a comedian who might not be funny. So getting that first laugh right out of the gate helps everyone to relax. A great opening line can also help establish who you are. For instance, a student, Mel McKee, was a cantankerous and crazy old man performing in a club filled with mostly young people. So to establish his character, Mel began his show with:

“I wake up almost every morning.” With this first big laugh, Mel continued to build his unpredictable old man character.

Click Here or Scan There Learn how to write jokes for your opening line with Workbook 1: How to Write Jokes



By Greg Dean 6

Secret 5 When the Audience Is Laughing – SHUT UP

Talking through the audience’s laughs is probably the biggest mistake beginner comedians make. They’ll spend hours working on their material, deal with their insecurities and fears, wait hours for stage time, take a huge psychological risk to get in front of an audience, and then when they get that precious laugh…they completely ignore it and talk or even yell over it. You must learn to be aware of the audience and how they’re responding or not responding to your show. The information that tells you when to talk and when to shut up is in the audience, not your material. Of course, if you make your relationship with the audience the most important thing, you’ll be connected and know when to let them laugh and pause to enjoy it.

Scan Box or Click Box Learn how to improve your jokes and organize a routine so you’ll know when to pause to allow

the audience to laugh in Workbook 2: How to Improve Jokes and Routines



By Greg Dean 7

Secret 6 When You Talk During the Laughs You Train the Audience to Stop Laughing Do you know how to train a flea? You put it in a jar, put some wax paper over the top, and poke holes in it so it can breathe. The flea will try to jump out of the jar, but it’ll smack into the wax paper. After several attempts, it’ll learn that it can only jump so high. Once this is accomplished, you can take the wax paper off and the flea will never jump out of the jar because it’s been trained to stop short.

Do you know how to train an audience to stop laughing? Same principle. I’ve watched comics train audiences to stop laughing by continuously talking over the laughter. When an audience laughs and the comic talks into their laughter, they’ll stop laughing to hear what the comic has to say. If this happens often enough, the audience, like the trained flea, learns to pull up short. It’s essential to allow the audience to laugh.

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By Greg Dean 8

Secret 7 Remain In the Same State Of Mind You Were In When the Laugh Began

Once you learn to stop talking after every punch or tag, the next thing to know is what you can do while the audience is laughing. Jerry Seinfeld calls this, “Staying in the bit.”

Without speaking, keep the emotion or state of mind you had when you finished the joke. This gives the audience a signal to laugh. Then when the laughter subsides, you’ll be able to pick up right where you left off. For instance, if you were ranting and pacing while you said the joke, when they laughed, continue pacing with the same agitated intensity, until they stop laughing, this maintains the energy level so you can jump right into the next joke.

Click or Scan Workbook 3: How to Remember Jokes Naturally. One reason comics talk through the laughs is they are afraid they’ll forget their next joke. So stop memorizing the words of your jokes. Instead, learn how to remember your material as an experience or scene. With this normal memory, you’ll see, hear, and feel the world of each joke which makes it easier to stay in the bit and allow the audience to laugh.



By Greg Dean 9

Secret 8 Allow the Audience’s Response to Affect You

If you permit the impact of the laughter or lack of laughter to affect you emotionally, it can determine how you interpret the next joke or it might prompt you to improvise something unique for this crowd. There’s a different spirit to a performance when you don’t know what you’re going to say next because the audience knows the show is partly based on their response. For the audience, there’s a sense of danger in this kind of performing. Why? Because you are present.

For instance, if you say a joke like: “I was involved in a love affair for two years - unassisted.” And someone laughs really loud, you can say: “I can see you had one of those affairs, too.” Then you can alter the wording of the next joke to include that guy. For instance: “I guess that makes us self-made men.” When the audience laughs, you can let that affect you, become a bit insulted, and fire back: “Thank you for laughing at my pain.” This creates a feedback loop between you and the audience. By allowing the audience’s response to determine how you proceed, every show will be customized for each audience.

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By Greg Dean 10

Secret 9 Have a Closing Line

One of the more awkward parts of a show is getting off stage. If you want a smooth exit write a Closing Line. By its name, it’s self evident what it is, and what it does. Have a great joke for your exit.

For Instance, if you are doing some new material, you have no idea how it’s going to be received. So prepare yourself with a closing line in case things go poorly. If your show ends with a thud, you’ll feel the need to stay on stage and try to finish with a laugh. This can cause you to run over your allotted stage time, which may have consequences to your club relationships. Avoid this, by having a reliably funny Closing Line that’ll get you off stage with your dignity. Workbook 4: How to Be a Funny Performer can teach you to write an introduction and more.

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By Greg Dean 11

Secret 10 Get the Light and Get Off

In the real world of being a comedian, you must learn to get off stage on time. If the club is doing two shows, then they must exit one audience, restock the bar and tables, then usher another audience in. If a comedian goes over time, then as in secret #9, you will have problem with your club relationship. Example: the staff has less time to do their jobs and they will complain to the club manager)

There will times when you’ll get the light right in the middle of a bit. Again, if you decide to finish the bit anyway, you’re guaranteed to go over time. Or, when you get to your next good laugh you can end your show, and do a closing line. Then you’ll end your show on time, and with a big laugh. That’s a professional.

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Want to know how and where to get stage time? There are a lot of things you can do to move closer to being a working comedian. Workbook 5: How to Get the Experience to Be Funny.



By Greg Dean 12

This Workbook Series reveals these secrets and dozens of other joke writing and performing techniques. These are skill you can learn and practice, and then apply to your own sense of humor. If you want to be proactive in becoming a comedian…here’s your shortcut.

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then take Greg Dean’s Stand-Up Comedy Workshop.

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10 stand-up comedy secrets€¦ · introductions are one of the most neglected aspects of stand-up...

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