11 ways to be passive aggressive_ an essential pocket guide _ talking shrimp

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Written by Laura in passive aggressive

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11 Ways to be Passive Aggressive: An EssentialPocket Guide

Has your internet been down?

Oh, I thought it might be b ecause you didnt say anything about my last blog post.

See what I did there? That was passive aggressive. It was my way of saying, Did you read my

last blog post? If you did, tell me you liked it. And if you havent read it, please do. And then tell me

you liked it.

Passive Aggressive is a very handy language. It allows you to get what you want, or express

your feelings, without being disliked or rejected. Well, actually, you might be disliked or rejected

because people are on to you and how annoying you are, so it doesnt really work. But here are

some other examples of how you can use it:

Want to say, I dont like you and never will? That will never fly. Instead, try mispronouncing

the persons name again and again, no matter how many times they correct you. If its Goldstein,

pronounced gold-stine, always pronounce it gold-steen. Or, even more effective: try calling them

by the wrong name altogether, and turning them into an ape. Endora, Samanthas mother on

Bewitched, perfected this t echnique.

Want to say Im attracted to you and Id like a date with you? Dont. What if they say no?

Instead, try breaking into their house and pooping on their bed. It will send the person a mixed

message, so they cant accuse you of having the hots for them.

As you can see, passive aggressive comes in many flavors. To make it easy, Ive broken them

down into subcategories, along with examples.

Heres my handy guide to 11 main styles of passive aggressive,along with essential phrases (translated into English).

So you can become more fluent, or understand someone else who is.

1. Passive Imposing

TECHNIQUE: Dropping hints in order to ask for something without asking for it. Or, requesting

something in the form of an offer.

PHRASES:

Hows your linguine? Or:

Wow, you hardly made a dent in your linguine. Are you done already?

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I want to try your linguine.

Do you know of any low-cost hotels near you?

I want to stay at your house while Im in town.

Hey, if you feel like it, how about vacuuming a little?

I want you to vacuum. Whether you feel like it or not.

2. Passive Resentful

TECHNIQUE: Expressing hurt or pissed-off-ness with a benign question or a smile.

PHRASES:

Hey, did you get the birthday gift I sent you in October? I checked the track ing number and

apparently it was delivered, but Im worried someone else signed for it and it never got to you.

You never thanked me for my birthday gift.

Its so funny that you would buy a new Louis Vuitton bag when you owe me a thousand dollars. Im

not mad, I just think its hilarious.

Oh, Im mad.

Did you have trouble getting here?

Youre ridiculously late.

So, are you having a really small wedding?

How come you didnt invite me to your wedding?

3. Passive Bragadocious

TECHNIQUE: Boasting by quoting someone elses compliment within a total non-story, or by

embedding the boast in a supposedly interesting fact.

PHRASES:

Oh my god, this guy last night was hitting on me so hard. He was like, you have the most amazing

body, can I have your phone number? He was so pathetic. It was really funny. Or:

I was trying on these jeans in the store and the sales girl was like, you should be a model. I was

like, oookayyyy. Whatever.

Im so fucking hot. And other people think so, too.

George Clooney is actually a really cool guy. So down to earth.

I know George Clooney!

4. Passive Insecure

TECHNIQUE: Fishing for compliments. An oldie but goodie.

PHRASE:

Oh my god, I look so gross today.

Dont I look purty? Say I do.

5. Passive Irritated/ Passive Disgusted (strangers version)

TECHNIQUE: Giving a bewildered, startled, bemused, or even admiring look when someone does

something irritating or outrageously gross.

PHRASES:

Whoa! What was that? [While whipping head around every few seconds as though newly startled. ]

Your public nose-blowing is both jarringly loud and grotesque.

Withering look, combined with hand fanning air in front of nose.

I know that fart came from you, guy in seat 32 C.

Eyebrows raised in mock-impressed, Wow expression as shopper in supermarket cuts you off to

beat you to the register.

Youre an asshole who contributes nothing to society, and dont pretend you didnt deliberately cut

me off.

Excuse me, I think you dropped something!

I picked up your litt er, which I know you purposely dropped on the curb, in order to shame you. So,

shame on you.

6. Passive Irritated/ Passive Disgusted (friend/ acquaintance version)

TECHNIQUE: Using an innocent, or faux-helpful question to disguise disapproval.

An early Father's Day card: 1 of the

many reasons I love my dad.

Past posts. Read them

all!

Select Post

Type Here To Search, Then Press En
http://talkingshrimp.com/lovedad


3/18



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PHRASES:

Should I pick up those socks? I didnt know if they were on the floor because you planned to wear

them again

Youre a slob, and yes, I do mind cleaning up after you.

Hows your apartment search going?

When are you going to leave my couch?

7. Passive Impatient

TECHNIQUE: Pretending youre concerned or just curious when you just want someone to hurry the

f*ck up.

PHRASES:

Are you okay in there?

Other people want to use the bathroom! What are you doing, taking a shit?

Hey, just checking in because you hadnt returned my phone call and I was worried something

happened to you.

Call me back, dickhead.

8. Passive Insulting

TECHNIQUE: Using false praise or a question to hide a total dis.

PHRASES:

Do you still work out?

Looks like you stopped working out.

Youre so brave, singing in front of other people.

You have a shitty singing voice.

Id have such a hard time being single. You handle it really well.

I feel sorry for you that you dont have a boyfriend.

Thats such a fun, colorful sweater!

Thats such a hideous sweater.

9. Passive Corrective

TECHNIQUE: Feigning dumbness to show superior smartness.

PHRASE:

Oh wait, is it en-dick-ted? I always thought it was pronounced en-die-ted.

You pronounced that word wrong, fool.

10. Passive Defensive

TECHNIQUE: Apologizing to say that you dont owe an apology.

PHRASE:

Im really sorry if you took what I said the wrong way.

I said nothing wrong, and youre an over-sensitive wuss.

11. Passive Depressive

TECHNIQUE: Fishing for sympathy.

PHRASE:

Facebook status: [NAME] has had it.

Had it with what? Ask me! Ask me!

Whats missing? Id like to hear from you.

Passive Agressive is a living language, changing all the time. So please contribute your favorite

styles and phrases, below.

In other words: Do you feel like leaving a comment?

218

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4/18



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120 Comments - Leave a comment!

120 Responses to 11 Ways to be Passive Aggressive: An EssentialPocket Guide

Edmundo BravermanJanuary 25, 2011 | 3:20 pm

Is it just me, or is this a primarily feminine dialect? Very funny, by the way.

Reply

LBelgrayJanuary 25, 2011 | 11:31 pm

Hmm . I know some pretty passive aggressive males. But primarily feminine, I might

have to say yes. Women care m ore about being nice.

Reply

RichSeptember 2, 2011 | 5:40 am

I have to say that us Brits are all mostly very passive aggressive. Wed rather be

polite than obnoxious. I live in the USA now and I see many Americans as active

aggressive. While its very direct to be this way it can be very annoying to have someone in-

your-face about everything they do not like. How about just keeping it to yourself?

I say if you cant say something positive dont say anything at all. But Im a Brit. What do I know.

Thx for an interesting post.

Reply

cherylNovember 1, 2012 | 7:26 pm

I am an American living in the UK with a passive agress ive husband. Although I

find this site funny and interesting, there is a serious side to it all. Due to my

husbands PA nature, I am leaving him and going back home where the agressive people

are easier to read as they are in your face. You Brits lay down, take it and carry on.No

chance

Reply

RichNovember 1, 2012 | 8:17 pm

cheryl

Im curious, are you leaving your husband becaus e hes PA or just because

you dont want to be with him period?

Oddly enough I have just left my American wife but not because shes PA (because s he

can be at times).

A question if I may. My sis ter, who also l ives over here in the US, is critici zed for being

PA. Yet when she is AA (active aggressive) people thinks shes being obnoxious. I have

the exact same experience. I guess us Limeys have to learn how to be AA in a way that

is acceptable over here?

Teach me please?

BTW I think we all have a little PA in us at times.

Have fun

Reply

How To Prep Your

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decisions

Don't kiss me, I have a

cold. (And, why I'm

running for President)
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5/18

AnonymousJanuary 25, 2011 | 3:20 pm

Is it just me, or is this a primarily feminine dialect? Very funny, by the way.

Reply


Hmm . I know some pretty passive aggressive males. But primarily feminine, I might

have to say yes. Women care m ore about being nice.

Reply

EmilyJanuary 25, 2011 | 3:36 pm

NICE. Sadly, almos t every type of pas sive aggressive s tatement listed was express ed by my

former best friend. In the end, her PA style bit her in the ass. Thanks for the decoder!

Reply


What, you didnt want to stay friends with her? She s ounds great!

Reply

EmilyJanuary 25, 2011 | 3:36 pm

NICE. Sadly, almos t every type of pas sive aggressive s tatement listed was express ed by my

former best friend. In the end, her PA style bit her in the ass. Thanks for the decoder!

Reply


What, you didnt want to stay friends with her? She s ounds great!

Reply

Jess WebbJanuary 25, 2011 | 4:14 pm

LOL well done, Laura! This gave me a chuckle as Ive certainly heard mos t of those. Sadly,

Ive even uttered some myself on occasion. :/

Thanks for the chuckle!

Reply


Thanks, Jess. Yes, Ill admit, some of those cam e right from my own mouth.

Reply

Jess WebbJanuary 25, 2011 | 4:14 pm

LOL well done, Laura! This gave me a chuckle as Ive certainly heard mos t of those. Sadly,

Ive even uttered some myself on occasion. :/

Thanks for the chuckle!

Reply


Thanks, Jess. Yes, Ill admit, some of those cam e right from my own mouth.

Reply

Alejandro Snchez M.January 25, 2011 | 4:43 pm

Living with a person who m asters Pas sive Aggressive mus t be like living at the Acid House
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6/18



Reply


What? Im not familiar with the Acid House. Is this your passive aggressive way of

saying, go google Acid House?

Reply

Alejandro Snchez M.

January 25, 2011 | 4:43 pm

Living with a person who m asters Pas sive Aggressive mus t be like living at the Acid

House

Reply


What? Im not familiar with the Acid House. Is this your passive aggressive way of

saying, go google Acid House?

Reply

SandraJanuary 25, 2011 | 5:05 pm

Wow, its so amazing you had time to write this whole blog post, because I could havesworn you had this really big deadline

Reply


Oh snap, thats a good one. You are fluent.

Reply

SandraJanuary 25, 2011 | 5:05 pm

Wow, its so amazing you had time to write this whole blog post, because I could have

sworn you had this really big deadline

Reply


Oh snap, thats a good one. You are fluent.

Reply

TheresaJanuary 25, 2011 | 5:14 pm

Hilarious! Love it Laura

Reply

LBelgray

January 25, 2011 | 11:51 pm

Thanks, Theresa.

Reply

TheresaJanuary 25, 2011 | 5:14 pm

Hilarious! Love it Laura

Reply


Thanks, Theresa.
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7/18



Reply

Julie MillettJanuary 25, 2011 | 5:16 pm

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. A spot-on indictment (oh, Im s orry is it indicktment?) that rings so

true it was actually almost painful to read. I have been a party to just about each of the 11

types I think Ive heard more than Ive said. I obviously need to step it up.

Reply


You do need to step up to the plate. Dont let anyone beat you at being passive

aggressive.

Reply

Julie MillettJanuary 25, 2011 | 5:16 pm

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. A spot-on indictment (oh, Im s orry is it indicktment?) that rings so

true it was actually almost painful to read. I have been a party to just about each of the 11

types I think Ive heard more than Ive said. I obviously need to step it up.

Reply


You do need to step up to the plate. Dont let anyone beat you at being passive

aggressive.

Reply

AnnJanuary 25, 2011 | 5:43 pm

Um I dont really have anything left to say. Really.

Reply


Hey, Im not trying to take anything away for you. This was meant to be encouraging.

Reply

AnnJanuary 25, 2011 | 5:43 pm

Um I dont really have anything left to say. Really.

Reply


Hey, Im not trying to take anything away for you. This was meant to be encouraging.

Reply

AmandaJanuary 25, 2011 | 6:13 pm

Im s o glad you posted a blog today. I was going to email you and as k if you forgot that you

are supposed to amuse m e on a s emi-daily basis. But, seriously, I was having withdrawal.

Reply


I must have forgotten, because I dont think Ive ever reached the semi-daily level of

output. Ill have to pick up the pace dont want you to get the shakes.

Reply

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8/18



Im s o glad you posted a blog today. I was going to email you and as k if you forgot that you

are supposed to amuse m e on a s emi-daily basis. But, seriously, I was having withdrawal.

Reply


I must have forgotten, because I dont think Ive ever reached the semi-daily level of

output. Ill have to pick up the pace dont want you to get the shakes.

Reply

NicoleJanuary 25, 2011 | 7:13 pm

Theres also the passive aggress ive note-leaving or text-sending (esp with roomm ates), so

as to not deal with people in real life ever.

Reply


Yes, Id say technology has m ade it way easier to be pas sive aggressive, but maybe the

invention of the pos t-it, long before mobile phones, was the true turning point.

Reply

NicoleJanuary 25, 2011 | 7:13 pm

Theres also the passive aggress ive note-leaving or text-sending (esp with roomm ates), so

as to not deal with people in real life ever.

Reply


Yes, Id say technology has m ade it way easier to be pas sive aggressive, but maybe the

invention of the pos t-it, long before mobile phones, was the true turning point.

Reply

Michelle VargasJanuary 25, 2011 | 7:36 pm

I love this too much. Posted to m y blog. People are loving it too much over there as well!

http://www.fartwithheadphoneson.com/post/2925785472

Reply


Wow, thats awes ome. You made me a little bit viral! (Can you be just a little bit viral?)

Thank you so much.

Reply

Michelle VargasJanuary 25, 2011 | 7:36 pm

I love this too much. Posted to m y blog. People are loving it too much over there as well!

http://www.fartwithheadphoneson.com/post/2925785472

Reply


Wow, thats awes ome. You made me a little bit viral! (Can you be just a little bit viral?)

Thank you so much.

Reply

kateJanuary 25, 2011 | 8:08 pm

Great list! i have heard most of these and maybe said a couple (with out meaning to be PA,

actually!) One more to add:
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9/18



During the holidays i us ed to get this from a family member:

you know, I was thinking, this is a really stressful time of year so i just wanted you to know that its no

problem if you cant make our get-together, you do whats best for your family, we can always get

together after the holidays instead.

this is basically code for: i want to cancel but dont want to be the ass that cancels a holiday

gathering.

Reply


Oh yeah. Totally understand if you have to bail out is a clear Can we please bag this?

Ive used it m any times myself.

Reply

kateJanuary 25, 2011 | 8:08 pm

Great list! i have heard most of these and maybe said a couple (with out meaning to be PA,

actually!) One more to add:

During the holidays i us ed to get this from a family member:

you know, I was thinking, this is a really stressful time of year so i just wanted you to know that its no

problem if you cant make our get-together, you do whats best for your family, we can always get

together after the holidays instead.

this is basically code for: i want to cancel but dont want to be the ass that cancels a holiday

gathering.

Reply


Oh yeah. Totally understand if you have to bail out is a clear Can we please bag this?

Ive used it m any times myself.

Reply

Nancy BJanuary 25, 2011 | 8:14 pm

Congrats, Laura. You just cracked the linguistic code of all of the female mem bers of m y

mothers s ide of the famil y. My grandmother was the Queen of Passive Impos ing: Oh, Im

so thirsty. (Would you get me s ome water?) and m y mothers awesom e at Pass ive Resentful Oh,

youre having your wedding in New Jersey instead of Ohio? How modern. (Nice girls have their

weddings in their home s tates.) Im pretty sure Ive inherited that gene, too, based on how many times

my husband has called me out on it. Admitting you have a problem is the first s tep to treatment, no?

#5: Passive Irritated/Passive Disgusted (s trangers) is an alive and well and practiced in many

elementary classrooms across the country, unfortunately.

Reply


How m odern! Thats excellent. My friends m other-in-law-to-be, when she didnt like my

friends wedding decisions , would shrug, Well, its *your* wedding!

Reply

Nancy BJanuary 25, 2011 | 8:14 pm

Congrats, Laura. You just cracked the linguistic code of all of the female mem bers of m y

mothers s ide of the famil y. My grandmother was the Queen of Passive Impos ing: Oh, Im

so thirsty. (Would you get me s ome water?) and m y mothers awesom e at Pass ive Resentful Oh,

youre having your wedding in New Jersey instead of Ohio? How modern. (Nice girls have their

weddings in their home s tates.) Im pretty sure Ive inherited that gene, too, based on how many times

my husband has called me out on it. Admitting you have a problem is the first s tep to treatment, no?

#5: Passive Irritated/Passive Disgusted (s trangers) is an alive and well and practiced in many

elementary classrooms across the country, unfortunately.

Reply

http://talkingshrimp.com/bloghttp://talkingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide?replytocom=2445#respondhttp://www.theteachergeek.com/http://talkingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide?replytocom=1498#respondhttp://talkingshrimp.com/bloghttp://talkingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide?replytocom=1483#respondhttp://www.theteachergeek.com/http://talkingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide?replytocom=2459#respondhttp://talkingshrimp.com/bloghttp://talkingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide?replytocom=2444#respondhttp://talkingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide?replytocom=1497#respondhttp://talkingshrimp.com/bloghttp://talkingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide?replytocom=1482#respond


10/18


10/1kingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide

How m odern! Thats excellent. My friends m other-in-law-to-be, when she didnt like my

friends wedding decisions , would shrug, Well, its *your* wedding!

Reply

BarbJanuary 25, 2011 | 10:30 pm

Greata list.how aboutWould you mind moving from your back onto your side honey?

meaning really: your snoring is driving me f*cking insane!

Reply


I just combine the two.

Reply

BarbJanuary 25, 2011 | 10:30 pm

Greata list.how aboutWould you mind moving from your back onto your side honey?

meaning really: your snoring is driving me f*cking insane!

Reply


I just combine the two.

Reply

Heather PierceJanuary 25, 2011 | 10:51 pm

This probably falls into #7 but ending ques tions with or.. instead of just saying what you

want drives m e nuts! Like when my former manager used to s ay:

Are you going to finish that spreadsheet tonight orrrrrrrrrrr..

Instead of I really need that spreadsheet tonight.

Reply


Which is in the same category with the very popular so. As in, I was actually in line

before you. So.

Reply

Heather PierceJanuary 25, 2011 | 10:51 pm

This probably falls into #7 but ending ques tions with or.. instead of just saying what you

want drives m e nuts! Like when my former manager used to s ay:

Are you going to finish that spreadsheet tonight orrrrrrrrrrr..

Instead of I really need that spreadsheet tonight.

Reply


Which is in the same category with the very popular so. As in, I was actually in line

before you. So.

Reply


Thanks, Theresa.

Reply

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11/18


11/kingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide

Thanks, Theresa.

Reply

Alice BJanuary 25, 2011 | 11:59 pm

Love it! Its such a relief to know that I dont engage in any of that stuff. I dont, do I?

Reply

LBelgrayJanuary 26, 2011 | 9:29 am

Haha. Goodness, no.

Reply

Alice BJanuary 25, 2011 | 11:59 pm

Love it! Its such a relief to know that I dont engage in any of that stuff. I dont, do I?

Reply


Haha. Goodness, no.

Reply

Catherine CaineJanuary 26, 2011 | 1:21 am

ARGH.

Some of these, to m y shame, were me. Still are m e when Im tired or cranky.

I have one addition:

Passive Over-explanation: Where you insert a thousand ques tionably-relevant details in to show how

much the other persons neglect has WOUNDED you.

Phrase: I mean its not big deal or anything but I had to take the later 175 bus ins tead of the 170 and

because the 175 isnt an express it look like an extra 17 minutes and s o I had to sit next to this guy

that smelled like butt and we got delayed an extra three minutes at that set of lights in the city, but its

not a big deal or anything

I would love to say this is not an example from personal experience.

Alas.

Im SUCH a bad person.

(Two for one!)

Reply


Its SO not a big deal. But just letting you know.

Reply

Catherine CaineJanuary 26, 2011 | 8:41 pm

Yes, I though it was important that you know exactly how big a butthead you are.

Reply

Catherine CaineJanuary 26, 2011 | 1:21 am

ARGH.

Some of these, to m y shame, were me. Still are m e when Im tired or cranky.

I have one addition:

Passive Over-explanation: Where you insert a thousand ques tionably-relevant details in to show how

much the other persons neglect has WOUNDED you.

Phrase: I mean its not big deal or anything but I had to take the later 175 bus ins tead of the 170 and
http://www.cashandjoy.com/http://talkingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide?replytocom=1516#respondhttp://www.cashandjoy.com/http://talkingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide?replytocom=1508#respondhttp://talkingshrimp.com/bloghttp://talkingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide?replytocom=1503#respondhttp://www.cashandjoy.com/http://talkingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide?replytocom=2469#respondhttp://talkingshrimp.com/bloghttp://talkingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide?replytocom=2464#respondhttp://talkingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide?replytocom=1507#respondhttp://talkingshrimp.com/bloghttp://talkingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide?replytocom=1502#respondhttp://talkingshrimp.com/ways-be-passive-aggressive-essential-pocket-guide?replytocom=2453#respond


12/18



because the 175 isnt an express it look like an extra 17 minutes and s o I had to sit next to this guy

that smelled like butt and we got delayed an extra three minutes at that set of lights in the city, but its

not a big deal or anything

I would love to say this is not an example from personal experience.

Alas.

Im SUCH a bad person.

(Two for one!)

Reply


Its SO not a big deal. But just letting you know.

Reply

Catherine CaineJanuary 26, 2011 | 8:41 pm

Yes, I though it was important that you know exactly how big a butthead you are.

Reply

Bridget PilloudJanuary 26, 2011 | 1:22 am

I live with a guy who does 7 and 9. Are you done with this wrapper that you left on the

counter? Or were you going to us e it for som ething?

Are you sure you meant catapult and not trebuchet?

Bah!

Reply


Im guilty of 9. I correct under my breath, and out loud with faux confusion.

Reply

Bridget PilloudJanuary 26, 2011 | 1:22 am

I live with a guy who does 7 and 9. Are you done with this wrapper that you left on the

counter? Or were you going to us e it for som ething?

Are you sure you meant catapult and not trebuchet?

Bah!

Reply


Im guilty of 9. I correct under my breath, and out loud with faux confusion.

Reply

JennJanuary 26, 2011 | 3:20 am

Be aware of the following Ive fallen for it a few times The Passive Aggressive TRAP:

Have anything special planned this weekend? If I say no, I am left undefended for my

Mother-in-law to say, Well then! You wouldnt mind if I bring over great Aunt Whatshername to see

your new house! or if I say yes, Oh! What are you doing? With who? What time? So you are booked

Saturday, what about Sunday? By the way, hilarious post!

Reply


I think thats just plain aggres sive. No wait, maybe the non-passive way would be to say,

Im bringing Great Aunt SoAndSo to your house this weekend. Let me know what time

is good. Because its happening.
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13/18

Reply

JennJanuary 26, 2011 | 3:20 am

Be aware of the following Ive fallen for it a few times The Passive Aggressive TRAP:

Have anything special planned this weekend? If I say no, I am left undefended for my

Mother-in-law to say, Well then! You wouldnt mind if I bring over great Aunt Whatshername to see

your new house! or if I say yes, Oh! What are you doing? With who? What time? So you are booked

Saturday, what about Sunday? By the way, hilarious post!

Reply


I think thats just plain aggres sive. No wait, maybe the non-passive way would be to say,

Im bringing Great Aunt SoAndSo to your house this weekend. Let me know what time

is good. Because its happening.

Reply

Marian SchembariJanuary 26, 2011 | 9:24 am

Im obsessed with this.

That last one is my favorite by far. I get SO FUCKING SICK of people who leave really

ambiguous Facebook status updates. I have a good friend that does this and it makes me

deliberately not ask whats happened.

Grrrr. But also hilarious. I love you.

Reply


So annoying. Facebook is a great place to be passive-bragadocious, too. Ive s een

updates like, Why are so many guys hitting on me today? LOL

Reply

Marian SchembariJanuary 26, 2011 | 9:24 am

Im obsessed with this.

That last one is my favorite by far. I get SO FUCKING SICK of people who leave really

ambiguous Facebook status updates. I have a good friend that does this and it makes me

deliberately not ask whats happened.

Grrrr. But also hilarious. I love you.

Reply


So annoying. Facebook is a great place to be passive-bragadocious, too. Ive s een

updates like, Why are so many guys hitting on me today? LOL

Reply

Nathalie LussierJanuary 26, 2011 | 2:56 pm

Ooh I really like the Excuse me, you dropped something aka I just picked up your litter

Ive done that a few times, but I found that its much more effective to just pick it up and put it

in the trash as if it was nt a big deal. Maybe the missing one is the silent passive aggressive where

the look in your eyes s ays it all? That can be the mos t dangerous of all, Id think!

Reply


Yes, its all about perfecting the look that says How dis appointing. Thanks to you, Ive

lost faith in humankind.

Reply
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14/18



Nathalie LussierJanuary 26, 2011 | 2:56 pm

Ooh I really like the Excuse me, you dropped something aka I just picked up your litter

Ive done that a few times, but I found that its much more effective to just pick it up and put it

in the trash as if it was nt a big deal. Maybe the missing one is the silent passive aggressive where

the look in your eyes s ays it all? That can be the mos t dangerous of all, Id think!

Reply


Yes, its all about perfecting the look that says How dis appointing. Thanks to you, Ive

lost faith in humankind.

Reply

MarianbelgrayJanuary 26, 2011 | 4:50 pm

This was my fave. So good.

Oh, I totally picture the eyebrow-raised New Yorker being cut off. The L.A. version:

Screaming at som eone from your car, knowing full well they cant hear a word because your windows

are up.

Heres another:

Passive Competitive (playground version)

Trust me, its a bless ing your kid hasnt started walking yet. Its s o exhausting!

= My kid is developing faster than your kid.

Reply


Thanks, Sis. Oooh, Passive Competitive is a good one!!

Reply

MarianbelgrayJanuary 26, 2011 | 4:50 pm

This was my fave. So good.

Oh, I totally picture the eyebrow-raised New Yorker being cut off. The L.A. version:

Screaming at som eone from your car, knowing full well they cant hear a word because your windows

are up.

Heres another:

Passive Competitive (playground version)

Trust me, its a bless ing your kid hasnt started walking yet. Its s o exhausting!

= My kid is developing faster than your kid.

Reply


Thanks, Sis. Oooh, Passive Competitive is a good one!!

Reply

lizJanuary 26, 2011 | 11:27 pm

how would you class ify this m ove Sitting on coach, close to front door, hearing my

roommates bf knock, then use the door knocker, which she cant hear from her roombut

Im not a fan so I let him wait in the hall? (side bar, if I have to see his man boobs , butt crack, or catch

him taking a s hit in my bathroom w/ the door open again, Im jus t going to scream).

Reply


Id call that passive protective. Protecting yourself from sights that would melt your eyes

right in your skull.

Reply

lizJanuary 26, 2011 | 11:27 pm
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15/18



how would you class ify this m ove Sitting on coach, close to front door, hearing my

roommates bf knock, then use the door knocker, which she cant hear from her roombut

Im not a fan so I let him wait in the hall? (side bar, if I have to see his man boobs , butt

crack, or catch him taking a shit in my bathroom w/ the door open again, Im jus t going to scream).

Reply


Id call that passive protective. Protecting yourself from sights that would melt your eyes

right in your skull.

Reply

MoriyaJanuary 31, 2011 | 4:11 pm

L.O.V.E. this post! So fun to read that I was savoring it. I would read one then go do

som ething else and then read another etc etc. What about Passive Anthropomorphizing? I

had a roomm ate in college who would leave notes on things like the tv or answering machine like,

please return me to the previous channel before turning me off, or please dont change m y outgoing

mes sage. Instead of confronting her passive aggressive ways I applied for a room change.

Reply


Oh, that is a REALLY GOOD one. Please wipe me off the next time you get pee on me.

Applying for a room change even better. Pass ive sme ll ya later-ive.

Reply

MoriyaJanuary 31, 2011 | 4:11 pm

L.O.V.E. this post! So fun to read that I was savoring it. I would read one then go do

som ething else and then read another etc etc. What about Passive Anthropomorphizing? I

had a roomm ate in college who would leave notes on things like the tv or answering machine like,

please return me to the previous channel before turning me off, or please dont change m y outgoing

mes sage. Instead of confronting her passive aggressive ways I applied for a room change.

Reply


Oh, that is a REALLY GOOD one. Please wipe me off the next time you get pee on me.

Applying for a room change even better. Pass ive sme ll ya later-ive.

Reply

Paul GoodchildFebruary 16, 2011 | 10:33 pm

Ive just dis covered this blog tonight its hilarious! I think I might have used the birthday

one myself. Its amazing how pissed off you can be when someone doesnt recognise your

birthday contribution!

Before all the smoking bans cam e in, it wasnt uncommon to hear (i.e. for me to say)

I dont think theyd like you smoking in here dude

= Put out your feckin cigarette it stinks! Cant you hold it in for 5 minutes?!

Reply

Paul GoodchildFebruary 16, 2011 | 10:33 pm

Ive just dis covered this blog tonight its hilarious! I think I might have used the birthday

one myself. Its amazing how pissed off you can be when someone doesnt recognise your

birthday contribution!

Before all the smoking bans cam e in, it wasnt uncommon to hear (i.e. for me to say)

I dont think theyd like you smoking in here dude

= Put out your feckin cigarette it stinks! Cant you hold it in for 5 minutes?!

Reply

Olga TsygankovaFebruary 24, 2011 | 11:36 am
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16/18



How about this:

I had a friend who once told me: Remember that girl we met in the cinema las t week? She

is s ooo mean. You know what she said? She s aid Oh, this Olga is rather pretty, but has SUCH

problems with her s kin But, of course, you s houldnt pay attention

Cool, ha?

Loved your post)

Olga T.

Reply

Olga TsygankovaFebruary 24, 2011 | 11:36 am

How about this:

I had a friend who once told me: Remember that girl we met in the cinema las t week? She

is s ooo mean. You know what she said? She s aid Oh, this Olga is rather pretty, but has SUCH

problems with her s kin But, of course, you s houldnt pay attention

Cool, ha?

Loved your post)

Olga T.

Reply

Linda Giella

March 29, 2011 | 9:28 am

Brilliant! one of the funniest and TRUEST things Ive ever read.

And the comments are jus t as great!

THANK YOU just discovered your blog through blogspot FM and will definitely keep reading.

Reply

KarenAugust 18, 2011 | 10:52 pm

Passive disgus ted. What line would you use when a pass enger on an airplane decides to

either a. pick his nos e-continuously, or b. clip their toenails-shooting bits off into another

row?

Just wondering what fabulous come-backs you have! LOVE your witticisms-fab w riting.

K

Karen recently posted..Pretty Woman Beach Vacation

Reply

LorneAugust 23, 2011 | 10:27 pm

What do you do if you have Aspergers and cant tell/dont know if you are doing this/on the

receiving end? Ive certainly said mos t of these things at one time or another. (Save # 3 & 8:

If I dont like something I leave no doubt at all.) *sigh* Maybe it is time to give up. (jk)

Reply

TamieMay 11, 2012 | 3:31 pm

Good question.

I knowIve done #10 (Passive Defensive), but the way I typically mean it is: Im sorry my

tone of voice/behavior (that I wasnt even aware of) made you think I was being nasty (which I

wasnt).

The wordingof my apology is because Ill take res ponsibility for my behavior (when Im aware of it),

but refuse to take res ponsibility for the other persons interpretation, misunderstanding, and

reaction.

They are as respons ible for their behavior as I am for mine. As m y mother so often tells me when I

get mad about som ething: nobodymakes you mad; you only let yourself get mad. (Funny how

that logic never applies to her.)

Tamie recently posted..SwapNote s tationery

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JRAugust 25, 2011 | 10:03 am
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17/18



Passive Informative as used by teachers.

Your child has a lot of potential

I couldnt think of anything academically positive to say about your child.

Great post.

Reply

KadijjaFebruary 9, 2012 | 1:47 pm

I have a funny and effective passive-aggressive technique that gets people to pick up after

themselves. If my roommate didnt was h her dis hes, I say to her, sm iling, Oh hey! Were youlooking for your dish earlier? When she gives me a quizzical look, I say because its right here, in the

sink. Then we laugh and she does her dishes . You can use it for anything else like dirty socks, etc:

Oh hey! Were you looking for your socks earlier? And so on.

Reply

MattMay 15, 2012 | 6:52 pm

This friend of mine will s ay something really passive aggressive, and then will add this little

laugh afterwards to play it off like a joke. For example: Dude, you never want to do anything

with us anymore..hahaha. Anytime you get in any type of an argument with him he als o tries to make it

a joke by sm iling the entire time. Anyone else know bastards like this?

Reply

emmaaaJune 3, 2012 | 5:57 pm

Sorry, no comprendes > m y gosh what an accent!

Reply

JGAugust 7, 2012 | 5:40 am

Psychologists like to come up with ways of categorizing or compartmentalizing every human

behavioral trait, and passive-aggressive is no different. Its not that difficult to define really

in most cas es its just good old-fashioned s arcasm . Its been around forever, and its proven so

popular that it will never go out of fashion. Instead of trying to beat it, accept it. It can be kinda useful; if

you recognize that being com prehensively sarcastic takes som e s kill, and that catty jibes often bear a

grain of truth.

Reply

ShengAugust 14, 2012 | 10:12 am

Passive Bragadocious > this is I think the most popular passive aggressive behavior on

all kinds of social network. But this is one of the mos t entertaining post that Ive read in a

long time.

Sheng

Reply

Robin RavenSeptember 3, 2012 | 2:02 am

I found your blog looking up vents for jus t such behavior. Because I am always on the

receiving end of s omeone who is like, I hate people who(insert a wide variety of what I

think is cool behavior that she dis approves up. She knows I do those things; I know I do those things .

The mess age is pretty clear. This was a painfully funny post.

Robin Raven recently posted..The Hypocrisy of Sarah McLachlan

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ToriSeptember 9, 2012 | 8:55 pm

Very, very funny blog. I lo ved this post.

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