1. The Pig was Gagging from the Shagging at the Waters Edge, 8pm Friday 13th Jan. 2012.

2. January's Minutes confirmed by the Big C who was perched on a little stool that had us in nervous anticipation & trepidation of either the stool collapsing in shock and awe or the disturbing event of his gonads eagerly awaiting the chance for a peek at the outside world!

3. Present tonight were 40 members. The Big C & Rosie, Dave, Markey, The SOON YEE, R2CockAss, Bryan, Brian, Big Bad Joe, Tukai, Ben, Erikk, Jeff, The Donno and the Sarah, Charlie and Cherie and menagerie, Scott and Losalini, The Katie and Billy PEE, Lou, Nathan, Builder Ben, Rajiineesh, Cliff, Jeff, Baba, JJ and Susan, Loren and The Dollye, Sarah Fisk, Wino Geoff, Mike and Karen, and The Renee,

4. Apologies from John the Font who was attending to some blood loss with “ bum-hulio” tears, with the more uncharitable member’s speculating on the causes due to either some clandestine man love or living next door to the Big C with over indulgence on intestine clogging 7Kg rump roasts? Apologies from Nathan in New Zealand, Heidi in Australia, Wayne setting up channel markers and building boat moorings in Kaibu (although there seemed to be a shit load of catching fish there going on?), and Gary and Chantal with those communicable diseases re-occurring again.

MONTHLY MEETING MINUTESFriday 13th JANUARY, 2012

Rajiineesh and Brian overlooking the proceedings with a mixture of horror and

fascination. Wino Geoff even appears to need the security

of the hand rail outside.

R2Cockass just caught a glimpse of The Big C’s “dangleys” up his wide legged shorts.

I need to perch because the downside of being in a meat shop is “you are

what you eat”!

Be much better if The Big C stood up and we weren’t treated to his

nether regions!

JJ might sell more copies if he put Susan

on the cover!

Great to see The Dollye at a meeting again. Makes a change

from the usual “sea of ugly”.The Renee looking askance

with disapproval at the Donno.

Showing no respect for The Big C!

The Billy PEE not afraid to look at the

Big C, whilst the Scott feels it prudent to look

anywhere but!!

Cherie and Toukai The Kavalangis “no ristening” again!

Captain Charlie fearless guide

flanked by family.Losalina traded me this one for a month’s supply

of grog.

5. Events Committee The carnage and mayhem continued, with Jonathan being overthrown from the manager position, with the overjoyed SOON YEE being thrown into the breach again.

The Big C committed the SOON YEE to having a Boat and Beach fishing competition organised for the 25th February.

Details at the Feb meeting.

DECEMBER FISHING PHOTO COMP “The Finger” Prizes awarded to Susan and Rosie.

Losalini got that glowing look that leads to a 6 child

brood? Look out Scott!

Mike and Karen just arrived from Alabama. Mike looks

shell shocked and it is probably due to a bit of Karen’s woop ass more

than 20 hrs flying!

They look cute and angelic, but Cherie and Losalini will accept

a rump roast as fair barter exchange!

“Callan, it was only one gonad but sheeesh!”

The SOON YEE in his overjoyed

state.

Now listen SOON YEE, pull your head

in and focus - no more stroller pushing

for you!

6. Edumucation CommitteeErikk presented us with a training session on “MAINTAINING REELS” - “Take good care of your REELS or you will be REAL sorry”.

Keep reels engaged and ready to fish whilst on the boat. When you get home, wash and dry then leave the drag open (loose). (Showering not a good way of washing your gear).

After drying, then lubricate using CRC with a rag and wipe off excess with a rag. Vinegar (white) is good for removing rust but is not a good lubricant.

Spinning reels have more moving parts than trolling reels so even more important to wash salt off and release drag after lubricating.

Some fisherman lubricate line as they believe it attracts the fish. Braid holds salt more than mono, so rinsing is particularly important.

The sub tropical corrosive environment is particularly abrasive and without proper maintenance your reels will let you down when you hook the big one, and be unserviceable in less than 6 months.

7. Fishing TaleS

JJ - popping in the Mangroves when Susan hit by a giant which proceeded to drag and squish their boat, “The Minnow”, into the mangroves. Many JJ expletives such as “holy cow” were used in the emphasis! The fish, of course, easily snapped the line and one hefty member suggested, it may be wise to bulk up a little, so they at least weighed a little more than the fish.

Erikk’s presentation going well. Every body attentive and quiet for

a change.“As Antoine de Saint Exupery said, “It is only with the heart

that one can see rightly;what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

Jeff loooking good in his stylish clobber.

JJ revealing the size of his boat!

“Geez, BBJo, what the hell

have you been sniffing?”

Jeff - Out with the family and Ben cast a popper almost onto the beach, “somewhere off East Beqa”, not expecting to catch anything and a monster GT nailed it. A massive 10 minute plus fight and he landed the huge specimen. The fish reportedly was so big, that when landed it made Jeff look small. No evidentiary proof submitted however.

Markey - something about catching a GT and a Barracuda. If the awesome photos submitted are from this tale then must have been a good one?

“BEST STORY” Prize awarded to Jeff.

Susan went on to catch a superb Blue Fin for the

Jan comp with this popper she won from the Dec

Comp.Not sure who was the bloodiest after the battle.

Ad Galama catching GIant

Mekong in Bangkok - this looks a lot like

last month’s fish?!

Nice fat Barracuda Markey - a sure winner of the comp if you had got a

little more intimate.

Nick is a fish “hog”, out almost every day

irrespective of the weather.

The Ocean alive with Skip Jack and Yellow

Fin Tuna out at Frigates and Beqa. Great pics NIck !!

The Nick with some of his catches! Nice Blue

Fin Trevally.

Mangrove Jack or Snapper or Damu

( Damu Nick?)

Snapper Family- Red Bass (Bati) related to Mangrove Jack full of

Cigateura - DON’T EAT!

Jomo the Bear trying to out do the Donno with his

quixotic catch!

Nick’s underwater shots taken with him swimming in this cauldron.

Coronation Trout Along with some fishing &

photography skills, The Nick is an accomplished artist,

and we’ll be including some of his “marine graphics” in

future minutes.

JANUARY FISHING photo Competition - “The KISS”

Nice Tuna at least 25Kg caught by Loren. Looks like he is missing Dollye allready by the quality

of this kiss!?

Two Blue Fins caught by Susan inside Waidroka

Reef.

The Ugly stick was retired after beating these two.

Markey going for a bit of the after bite with

maybe a bit of tongue

Markey going all out to try and win.

It appears the Barracuda is more

scared of The Rosie.Soon YEE putting on the lip action onto this fine Tuna.

3rd generation Fijian with his 1st GT caught! Well done The SOON YEE

The Rosie smooching everything in sight.

Nick going for every species on this trip.

Tuna everywhere!

The Big C with some bait fish - (Skip Jack)

Another damn GT

8. HOT TIPSDon’t buy a boat! If you do, get a 40HP 2 stroke Enduro, as it can handle the poor quality fuel here and goes for years. (Ben)

A long tale about a secret fishing spot. Go past Bird Island, next reef go into entrance 200m and tide really rips through here. GT’s love currents, so get on pressure side of current. Remember it is a no fishing zone for every body else, but a no take zone for us! (The Big C)

SPOON lures, You can use ‘em popping, jigging and trolling - awesome for the lazy fisherman. Incredible detail was provided on the history, techniques, how to use them etc all to no avail. (The Donno)

If it floats, flies or fornicates then rent it, DON’T BUY IT! (The Billy Pee).

BEST HOT TIP Prize of a Lure awarded to Ben.

9. Treasurer’s Report The Renee was seen waxing lyrical about the absence of the Club’s finances due to her preoccupation with bananas. It was mentioned that The Renee has been hoarding bananas, prompting an anonymous source to speculate that the bananas may represent Club funds!

On a positive note, she has been dishing up some damn fine fish at “The Wateredge”.

Sorry Loren, but The Donno got SPOONED by

the Dollye!

Where’s the damn “return” key, so I can

get these furkin Twisted accounts

done!

Other News

This month, the photo competition must include A “KISS” to be eligible for a prize to be decided by the members at our February meeting. Photos subsequently submitted have been included in these minutes.

J.J’s Book “The World’s Richest Bus Boy” is a great read about the adventures of a younger JJ travelling to exotic destinations in search of the perfect wave on the smell of an oily rag. A modern equivalent of the “60’s “Endless Summer”. Contact the Sarah or The Big C if you want to order a copy.

Charlie up to mischief yet again on James Packer’s Arctic Yacht “The Arctic”, which is amongst the World’s 100 largest (288 feet) privately owned yacht. It is a retrofitted icebreaker ultimate luxury with uber-luxe accomodations for 12. Features an observation lounge, games room, cinema, screening room, swimming pool, gym, jacuzzi and gadgets galore.

Sarah Fisk unanimously voted in to the Environment Committee Manager, who will be ably assisted by Heidi, Rosie and Jeff. Sarah has also donated two Sushi Bowls as prizes for the next fishing comp.

Ben and Erikk were voluntered to build a frame for Scott’s concrete Twisted Leader’s Plaque and Renee acknowledged that her Restaurant could be used as a surrogate club house. Debate about whether her walls could support the hanging plaque?

Really, we are looking at the beautiful pair of Sushi

bowls Sarah!

The “We Love” Callan T-shirts as modelled by The Rosie will be

available as stickers from The Dollye in jumbo extra large size.

Jomo the Bear practising his James T Kirk, trying to get out of Pacific Harbour against

the tide, and reminiscent of the USS Enterprise being sucked into a black hole (NOT referring to John the

Font here).

Errikk :“I’m giving her all she’s got, Captain!”

Jomo: “All she’s got isn’t good enough!”

The Bear rescued this 50ft Ketch (Formosa 50) called

the “Kava Mama”

JJ holding his baby, “The World’s Richest Bus Boy”.

“SOMETIMES I PRETEND TO BE NORMAL,

but it gets boring,

so I Go BackTo Being Me.”

Contenders for “THE THREE STOOGES” look a like.

Charlie up to mischief on another luxury yacht

“The Arctic ”

12.Meeting ended at 10pm, where many were seen dashing for some urgent therapy.

PLEASE NOTE. Next meeting is Friday the 10th February, 2012 at 7.30pm.

DISCLAIMERIf something in these minutes offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all collectively heap scorn and derision on you. My sense of humour may hurt your feelings, I suggest you drink a bowl of grog and get over it. Members and other unauthorized recipients are advised to be ATTENDANT at the meeting in order to establish the veracity and accuracy of these minutes. The author is not liable for any libel arising from any inaccuracies and flagrant distortions of the observable truth, due in part to the possible onset of dementia, short attention span, and effects of Grog on this sub prime crusty old fart. I also appear to be going deaf, so PLEASE SPEAK UP !! Any miss spelt words and/or bad ‘grama’ and/or piss poor punctuation - tell it to someone that cares. (maybe The Rosie, head of our complaints department, who it is known, likes to listen to drawn out tales of woe and self-regret).

The Donno - Twisted Leaders Secretary (with mucho help from The Sarah)

This 56.6 kg (124 lb 12 oz) giant trevally will beat the current’s Men’s 24 kg (50 lb) line class

record by more than five pounds! My ugly friend is holding it for me

so I could KISS it.THE DONNO HAS TO WIN THE

“KISS” COMP NOW?!

Little Donno