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Chapter Two

Communication Skills and Par Excellence Listening

The parable of a Unique Being Called Human Being

Saraswathi the Goddess of Education and her husband Brahma Deva the God of

creation in Hindu theology, wanted to create an Unique being called Man. MAN -

necessarily includes women rather the WOMAN includes man, is it not ?.

The unique characteristics are :- Erect spinal cord- Biped (Tail lost in the evolution, of course the semblance of it in the form of

appendix still remains which is sometimes to be removed surgically if it wantedto reappear I visualize often a tail on my mischievous students. Shh.. you dont

see it ? all of course, it is invisible

- Multi dexterous non-webbed limbs- Ever evolving Mind with reasoning

What else are the prerogatives of Human Beings?

- Language no living being has such plethora of languages or dialects.

-Sense of Humor or simply a Smile at the least which no other animal can do

Half dressed attire of Gandhiji and his comments

Once Gandhiji was invited by the King of England and as usual he has started in hissimple attire of Dhoti and small towel.

One of the journalists was horrified and asked Mr. Gandhi Are you going to meet

the King of England Half-naked like this?Gandhjis instant reply is The King has enough clothes for both of Us

In Telugu there is a joke Me and my King jointly or collectively own

101 ( naaku Raajugariki kalipe nootokka aavu ) Cows. (I have one and King ownthe balance. Of course.)

Courtier : Your Majesty, You are late to the Court

Queen of England : Sir, The Queen is never late .ONLY THE COURTIERS ARE EARLIER

I have an ace up my sleeve a secret that gives me an advantage I will let the cat out ofthe bag. Tell you a secret of mine- truthfulness ( on some matters only ) and claim

categorically thatI get angry only Twice in an year my better half quips in my back

of course, each one stays for Six months .

Let us continue with the parable - Brahamaji wanted to endow the human beings

another unique quality and that is with :

-Intelligence - ability to do your work effectively in this world with the effectiveinteraction of others. for that you need not have any Education.

But Brahmaji said I feel to give it, but it is to be hidden, not to be known to him

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or her so easily - where to hide? and he asked the advice of his concert, pat came the

reply of Goddess Saraswaths .! conceal it In his own Mind. The Story goes to

Kaanchi and let us go back to Communication Skills.

Genetic Scientists claim that we only have 2% superiority in the realm of DNA

and genes between us and our nearer cousins Chimpanzees of the animal world. Thispuny difference of 2% has made us conceive civilizations, and culture beyond grunts and

hoots. We have harnessed the ability to express complex human ideas, evolved a system

of communication which is for the human beings alone.From the primitive life to pyramids, the epics, the first step of the Mankind ie to

the moon and to the genome engineering research mankind has made best use of the 2%.

The pyramids, built 4500 years ago, 36 of them near the river Nile in Egyptrepresent the stupendous efforts and extraordinary management of organization feat

achieved in 2500 B.C., when you consider the fact that it was very difficult to move such

big and heavy blocks of stone in those ancient times, with no cranes heavy earth moving

equipment etc , it is truly marvelous that 2 million blocks, each on weighingapproximately 2.3 tons, were hauled on top of each other to complete the Pyramid of

Chepos.

Egyptians believe that every Pharaoh was a God and when one died he was buriedunder this stupendous structure.

But in Ra Expeditions Abdullas comment : So big and only one occupies

and too long since dead a different paradigm or perception

Bronislaw Malinowiski narrated an encounter he had with an old cannibal. Theyhappen to talk about the Second world war raging in Europe. The cannibal wanted to

know how the Europeans managed to eat the huge quantities of human flesh produced by

massive killings. In a self righteous manner Malinowiski try to explain that Europeansdo not eat their enemies they killed.

The cannibal was shocked, What kind of barbarians are you he asked in horror

to kill people without any real object

A man goes to a doctor and says : I dont thinking my wifes hearing is good. Whatshould I do?

Why have you come instead, but first try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is

in the kitchen doing dishes, or cooking stand 15 feet , 10 feet and 5 feet respectively andask her a question. The man went home

The man : honey what is for dinner ? from 15 feet, 10 feet and 5 feet. He asked.

The wife : honey for the fourth time I SAID CHICKEN

Communication

Communication has come from Latin Communis Communus, which means

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Sharing. What do you share?. We share normally our thoughts, feelings and actions.

We share Knowledge in general (knowledge dissemination).

In the novel Around the World in Eighty Days of Jules Verne, the central character

Philos Fogg and his assistant will help Indian People in some measure, and Indian

people say Mr. Fogg you and you assistant are Very, Very Good People. His instantreply was Yes,Yes, Sometimes.

Sometimes we share , sometimes we dont. Of course, we cannot share everything every

time with every body. So we have to become selective.

SMS joke of the Day:I wanted to share everything with you your joys, your sorrows, your happy moments,

every single second of the dayLet us start first with your ATM PIN ( password )

Of all the knowledge and skills you have, those concerning communication areamong most important and useful. Whether in your personal, social, or work life or career

you communication ability is your most vital asset. In Sanskrit it is expressed asVaagbhooshanam Bhooshanam . Communication is one of the assets like a pendent or

a necklace. You need not go to Tribhuvandas Bhim Singh Javeri or Meenabazar for a

pendent or a necklace. Learn to be an good conversationalist.

In your personal life or career as soon as you move one step from the bottom,

your effectiveness depends on your ability to reach others through Spoken or Written

Word, for which one requiresListening and Reading all through our lives.

We may have numerous books in our homes, but most of the time, they remain

elusive or rather remain as ornaments in our drawing rooms or library. So my intention isto use them to enrich our knowledge itself.

R.K.Narayan in his short story A Library Without Books says Library Science seems all

concerned with systems of classification, shelves, furniture, locks, keys, vouchers,

registers everythingexcept Reading.It would be useful to inscribe on every library

wall the motto books are meant to be read, not merely to be classified and

preserved.

I feel that the only difference today is that digital indexing and digital databases, Emails,Internet, chats, Knowledge banks like Wikepedia.org, wikitria.org, blogs, ORKUT

groups, e-portals, e-books have come, but the scenario remains very much the

same.

Does The Times of India or somebody has to initiate READ INDIA

Campaign just like LEAD INDIA ? or what ?

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9. Speak softly ( Ramus cautious wife ) the neighbours may hear us. ( eavesdropping)

10. Wonderful, we need not break in, after all the door is already open ( Ramu and his

companion burglar or a their who planned for a burglary)And the connotations or the meaning go on and on

Let us go into different classifications of our Communications :

Non-Verbal

VerbalVocal

Non Vocal = No sound

By combing these we have the following :

Non vocal- non verbal (gestures, pictures)

Non vocal-verbal (written words)

Vocal-non verbal (screams, cries)-Tarzans Victory Cry.Vocal-Verbal (Spoken words)

Non-Verbal Pantomime mookies - Charles Chaplain the movie-Pushpak, Movie,

Black Deaf, Dumb & Blind - Helen Keller & her mentor Anne Sullivan

Verbal-Talkies, the present day movies.

Speaking to oneself - Soliloquy ( Swagatham ) Monologue (sontha dabba - para

dabbaa - paraspara dabba- you scratch my back I will scratch yours type)

Brain Storming sessions GDs-Speaking in Groups, Debates, Discussions,

Dialogues, Minutes of meetings and Seminars in the Corporate sector, Publicspeaking

By another classification On the basis of Relation we have the following:Formal

when messages are transmitted and received through an authoritatively determined

hierarchical pattern (chain of command)then the formal communication takesplace

that is . When you speak to an elderly person such as your father, teacher or employer

you use a kind of language which shows your personal, social or cultural distance from

them. Such a variety is an example of

Informal

If the communication is direct, oral in a friendly way -it is informalThat is, when you speak to an intimate friend, your younger brother or sister or to your

class mate, or colleague you need not be so formal and can take liberties with yourlanguage which indicates your closeness or socio cultural nearness with the other person(s) such a variety is called informal communication .

Distinguished guests are requested to assemble in the first floor ( formal )You guys move to the first floor ( informal )

Well thats really very kind of you, but Im afraid I have already promised to join Ajay

for dinner this evening (formal)

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Thanks, but Im dinning with Ajay today (informal)

How do you do ? (formal)

Hello ? Hi (informal)

Examine the following texts though they convey the same message, the style , thevocabulary and the sentence structure or different and each writers individual preference

1. At an indefinite time in the past, a male member of the cunning canine species

found himself seized by acute appetite. He launched a probe in all directions for

sustenance. After he traversed a long tract of land, an orchard of vine came intohis preview. He dashed into it and noticed clusters of juicy fruit, but hanging

beyond his reach. Despite repeated endeavors to grab them, he met with failure

and announced a profound philosophical maxim :These grapes are sour.

2. Once upon a time a fox was hungry. It reached for food everywhere and came to

a vineyard with bunches of grape. He jumped and jumped but could not reachthem then he said These grapes are sour.

In English, as in many languages, there are certain accepted ways of greeting or

disagreeing with your participant without hurting his self-respect. Consider thefollowing:

Close the door, why dont you close the door? Can you close the door? Please close the

door? Wont you close the door please? Would mind closing the door? Could you pleaseclose the door.

By another classification On the basis of Direction -in an Organization .

Down wardManagement To subordinates

eg : management Circulars, policies, hand books, news letters, induction kits,

Up wardsubordinates To management

eg: employee's grievances , suggestions etc.

horizontalamong employees of equal cadre

eg: intra-net e-mails of our digital world in the corporate sector.

Verbal-Vocal ( Oral or Spoken )

Essentials of Oral Communication Joseph A. DeVito and Raymond Zeuschner

1. Intra Personal communication - within (Talking to oneself ( introspection )2. Inter personal - inter means talking with others

3. Small group talk Debates, Discussions, Dialogues, GDs, Seminars, minutes of

meetings at the corporate sector.4. Public speaking

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1. Intra-Personal-Skills / communication

Intra = Within

Intra-Personal Skills can be defined as those skills that each one has to employwhile interacting with ones own Self. It is a Subjective (internal) concept.

Introspection, visualization, the internal dialogues that goes inside are the examples

Through Intra-personal communication, you talk with, learn about and judgeyourself. You persuade yourself of this or that, reason about possible decisions to make,

and rehearse messages that you plan to send to others ( Speak ).

2. Interpersonal Skills / communication

Inter = outside

No man is an Island. That is, no man can live alone. We have to Build bridges ofcommunication among people which is also known as networking. In Sanskrit we say

Vaagbhooshanm Bhooshanam. Your Conversation is like Pendent you wear.

Interpersonal Skills can be defined as those skills that every one has to employwhileinteracting with other people. They are the abilities to relate to others in a sociallyappropriate and meaningful manner. It is an objective concept.

Examples are Working in teams, teaching others, working well with people from

different cultures, serving customers etc.

Thorough Inter-Personal communication you interact with others, learn aboutthem and yourself, and reveal yourself to others. Whether with new acquaintances., old

friends, lovers and family members, its through interpersonal sills that you establish,

maintain, sometimes destroy and sometimes repair personal relation ships. You alsocommunicate interpersonally during interviews when applying for a job, gathering

information and counseling.

3. Small group communication

Through small group talk ( which is one to one and one to many ), you interact

with others in groups, you solve problems, develop new ideas, and share knowledge andexperiences. You live your work and social lives largely in groups, from the employment

interview and to the executive board meeting, from the informal social group having

coffee to the formal meeting discussing issues of international concern.

Examples are Debates : Debate is for or against (oratorical competitions and minutes ofmeetings at the corporate board rooms)

Discussions: Discussions have both pros and cons or positive or negative points.

Dialogues require shedding of ego of the participants, commonness of purpose andconsensus. GDs group discussions is the apt example.

So the progression sequence should be Debates to Discussions to Dialogues.

Highly motivated, competent and creative groups move from debate to discussion and todialogue says Sachitananda Mohanty a Professor of English at the University of

Hyderabad

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He had not started to enumerate the exploits like crossing the ocean, seeing the Lanka,

meeting Sita and finally destroying part of Lanka etc., they can come later. They aresecondary.

He has been sent on the specific mission to search the whereabouts of Sita Devi, Lord

Ramas wife. Every body was waiting eagerly the news of the whereabouts of Sita .

Hence he says to Rama I have seen first an apt example of Precision or appropriatechoosing of the word.

Legend says that Rama reciprocated it with a beautiful hug. Hug here is the appropriatenon-verbal communication or gesture- a hug with Godhead Lord Vishnu

Of course, sometimes Words are not required. But non-verbal gestures take over.

Once upon a time, Parsis came to the West Coast of India ( Gujarat ) from Persia

fearing persecution from Muslims and requested the King of Navasari to give themasylum.

The king had made to bring a glass fully brimming with Milk he intended - that

the kingdom was thickly populated and will not have enough place to reside, moreover,

he was worried that Muslim community in his state may not like the presence of Parsis.The Parsis leader did not speak. He had made to bring a spoon of sugar, mixed it

in the milk - he intended that their people will mix like sugar with the Gujarat people

only to sweeten the land, not spoil it. Gujarat king was pleased and they were grantedasylum.

Even now a miniscule community, Parsis has contributed much to the economic,

educational, cultural and industrial advancement in the country. Jamshed ji Navroji Tatawas one of the pioneer of them as far as I know.

2. C Clarity and Cohesion - clarity in choosing and Cohesion that is without

jargon or ambiguity or double meaning.In his Sanskrit Drama Kumara Sambhavam poet Kalisdasa says :Vaagardjavitha sampriptou, vaagardha pratipatay

Jagad pitarou vandey, paarvati parameswarou

It simply means Due respects to Lord Shiva and Parvathi his concert, who areinseparable like Vaagardha- A word and its meaning (and also in the sense of

ardhanareeswara He-She principle, Legend has it that Lord Shiva has given half of his

body to his Concert Parvathi )

Just in the same manner a word and its meaning should be coherent and inseparable.

Norman Lewis, in his wonderful book on vocabulary development Word Power MadeEasy explains the meaning of the word Taciturn. They neither like to listen or nor

talk, an impatient gesture, glance, stare . Are they self-conscious, , do they hate people?

Do they hate me? In frustration you give up thinking.

Son : Our political partys policies are Sound they claim

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Father : Yes ! my son

Son : Sound made by an empty vessel ? daddy !Father : I dont Know son ! - it shows ambiguity of course.

Judge : Tell the court why you parked thereDriver : Because, Your honour, it said Fine for Parking

3. B Brevity ( brevity is the soul of Wit says Jonathan Swift )

Again let us knock at the door of Norman Lewis. in his wonderful book on vocabulary

development Word Power Made Easy he explains the meaning of the word

Laconic. In ancient Sparta, originally known a Laconia, the citizens were longsuffering, hard bitten, stoical, military-minded andnoted for their economy of speech.

Legend has it that when the Philip of Macedonia was storming the gates of Sparta

( Laconia ). He sent a message to the besieged king If we capture the city, we will burn

it to the ground.

A one word answer came back If. It was now the Philips turn to be speechless.

Why do you always answer a question with a question Mulla (Nasiruddin) ?

His cryptic reply was Do I ?

Journalist : I have promised my editor that I will get more than Two words from you onthe issue of Primary Education.

The Laconic or Brevity loving Education Minister : You loose

4. S Simplicity ( usage of simple words )Varnasi Bhaskara Rao in his wonderful book on Communicative Competence writes:On of his first developments in Gandhjis campaign brought him straight to the head of

the Transvaal Government, General Jan Smuts, Gandhiji has already developed the

essentials of this later styles, and it is easy to imagine him sitting before this able Boersoldier and informing him :

Gandhi : I have come to tell you that I am going fight againstyour government.

General Jan Smuts : You mean you come here all the way to tell me that? Isthere anything more you wanted to say ?

Gandhi : Yes, I am going to Win.

General Jan Smuts : Well, and how are you going to do that?Gandhi : With your help, of course

General Smuts expressed several years later that Gandhiji did exactly that.

By his courage, by his determination, by his refusal to take unfair advantage, butespecially by his endless capacity to stick out without yielding and without retaliation

( Satyagaraha , and Ahimsa concepts ). Gandhji managed at last to win the Generals

respect and friend ship and one by one the laws most offensive to the Indians wererepealed.

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Gandhiji is not a passionate orator, his manner is calm, and serene and heappeals particularly to the intelligence. But the serenity places the subject he discusses in

the clearest light. The inflexions of his voice are not varied, but they are intensely

sincere. He never makes any gestures with his arms, in fact moves a finger. But his

luminous words, expressed in terse, concise sentences carries conviction. He neverabandons a subject before he felt that he has made it perfectly clear. - Joseph J. Dokeon Gandhiji

Gandhijis simple flow of words

First they ignore you,Then they laugh at you,

Then they fight you,

Then you win - GandhijiFinally they may admire and adore you

Evidently, Gandhiji used his Train journeys in third class compartments to write

letters and articles.

Here is another literary master piece of competent communication which canteach parents, teachers and even students alike. Today there is so much talk ( a lip

service) on Value Education. This letters content, the choice of words, their

arrangement, style and tone of it. epitomises the Communicative competence.

A Father to his Sons Teacher

Abraham Lincolns Appeal to the Teacher of his son.

Dear Mr. Teacher

My son. He will have to learn, I know, that all men are not just, all men are nottrue. But teach him also that for every scoundrel three is a hero, that for every selfish

politician, there is dedicated leader.

Teach him that for every enemy, there is a friend. It will take time, I know butteach him, if you can, that a dollar earned is of far more value than five found. Teach

him to learn to lose also enjoy wining. Steer him away from envy if you can, teach him

the secret of silent laughter. Let him learn early that the bullies are the easiest to lick.Teach him, if you can, the wonder of books, but also quiet time to ponder the eternal

mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun and flowers on the green hillside.

In school, teach him it is far more honourable to fail than to cheat. Teach him to

have faith in his own ideas even if everyone tells him they are wrong. Teach him to begentle with gentle people and tough with tough. Try to give my son the strength not to

follow the crowd when everyone is getting the bandwagon. Teach him to listen to all

men, but teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth, and take only good thatcomes through.

Teach him how to laugh when he is sad. Teach him there is no shame in tears.

Teach him to scoff at cynics and beware of too much sweetness. Teach him to sell his

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brain to the highest bidders, but never to put a price tag on his heart and soul. Teach him

to close his ears to a howling mob, and to stand and fight if he thinks hes right.Teach him gently, but do not cuddle him, because only the test of fire makes fine

steel. Let him have the courage to be patient. Let him have patience to be brave. Teach

him to always have sublime faith in mankind.

This is big order, but see what you can do. He is such a fine little fellow, my son Abraham Lincoln.

Abraham Lincoln preached what he practiced.

Interestingly, Abraham Lincoln, used to write his notes, speeches, and all other

ideas on bits of paper and used to keep it under his hat for ready consultation.

5. U Understanding

Ultimately the receiver should understand what is being said by you. Your ranting

or eloquence has no meaning if the receivers dont understand them, or

misinterprets the one word for the other.

Ramu : Let us go the Zoo

Ravi : go to a Jew I dont want to borrow any moneyRamu : not that Jew, zoo , where tiger, elephant and giraffe are there

Ravi : oh that zoo

Of course we have a plethora of languages, dialects and accents and , as we have alreadyseen that Babel was the tower built by those humans who spoke the same language

with the intention of reaching heaven. But Gods in heaven were jealous and cursed

humanity to speak different languages so that they could not understand one another.

So, different languages, dialects, and accents are born or bedlam ensues that is how thejoke goes.

So, Understanding is a very tall order of course. Every body is aware of theGeneration gap, and the miserable failure or break down of communications is an off

repeated term.

Through communication, people act and react on the basis of the present situationas well as on the basis of their histories, past experiences, attitudes, cultural beliefs, and a

host of related factors.

One implication of is this is that, actions and reactions in communication aredetermined not only by what is said, but also by the way the person interprets what is

said.( receiver )

You responses to a movie, for example, dont depend solely on the words andpictures in the movies; they also depend on your previous experiences, present emotions,

knowledge, physical well-being, and a lot more.

Because of this two people listening to the same message will often derive two

different meanings. Although the words and symbols are the same each person interpretsthem differently simply because each person is different and has had different

experiences.

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20 INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS

1. Read everything before doing anything, but work as rapidly as you can

2. Put your name and address in the space provided for

Name :

Address :

3. Circle the word Name in the second instructions

4. Write the name of your native place .5. Now draw a circle around the title of the page

6. Sign your name under the title

7. In the sentence four draw a circle around the word native

8. Write the name of the Capital of India9. Underline all the sentence seven

10. Stand for a few seconds, 2 to 3 minutes will do.11. Draw an X in the lower left hand corner of this paper

12. Draw a circle around X you drew just now

13. Write the name of your husband or wife if you are married, if not, write the

name of your father if you are a male and write the name of your mother name ifyou are a female.

14. Draw a circle around the word Capital in the sentence eight

15. Shout out loudly your name when you get to this point16. If you think you have followed instructions to this point call I Have a cell

phone if you have one or I do not Have a cell phone if you do not have one

17. Close your eyes and raise your left hand over your head18. Write your designation or qualification

19. Count ten to one backwards

20. Now that you have read the instructions, carefully, do only what instructions oneand twenty ask you to do and ignore all other instructions

Note : Please do not give this paper to anybody, make no comments or explanations you

read this so far. Pretend that you are still writing. Let us see how many persons reallyfollow instructions carefully.

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The knowledge of how communication works and the ability to use communicationeffectively is called Communication Competence.

Let us examine the most powerful quadrant of Communication for CommunicationCompetence.

Quadrant of L S R W - General Model useful for learning a new language, and

adding competency as well to it.

1. Listening

The MotherSelective audios - practice, & TV news and

religious channels CNBC-NDTV

3. Speaking

Pronunciation, Intonation,

word stressRole Plays, Class room sessions. GDs

Facing interviews, Giving presentations

3. ReadingNews papers, Various books, magazines,

narrating stories

4. Writing-DictionWrite-ups one Movies, Resume writing,

letter writing, report writing, story writing

Language Learning say English Language and its nuances or intricacies

The English language is the Lingua Franca or a common link language used by the

majority of the world. It serves as a medium among nations. In most of the countriesEnglish is widely spoken and understood by the people. Shrinking of the globalboundaries has made it necessary to learn this language

It is the first language of UK, USA, Canada, and Australia.

The most advanced and up-to-date knowledge in most of the subjects such as

Science, Medicine, Engineering, Law, Commerce, and Media are communicatedin English language. The latest research works in the field of Science and

Technology are done using English language.

Career advancement opportunities within and outside the country can best beexploited with good knowledge of English language.

General awareness and Personality development can be enhanced through the

knowledge of this language. Just like our two eyes

o One eye = Mother Tongue

o Another eye = English Language

In another analogy

o Your Functional Area ( Hard Skill ) = MBA subjects with Case and

project studies

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o Your Soft Skill = English Language

o

Phonemes :

Basic sounds or letters : the sounds K, th , t has no meaning, 45 of them in English.

Morphemes :

But the phonemes can be grouped together to form words, prefixes ( un-, pre- ), suffixes

-ed, -ing these meaningful combinations or phonemes are known as Morphemes. thesmallest meaningful units in a language. Morphemes play an important role in human

thought. They can represent important ideas such as red or calm or hot. The suffixes

ed capture the idea of in the past as in visited or liked. The prefix conveys theidea of before and prior to as in preview or predetermined

We can combine morphemes to create words that represent quite complex ideas such as

pr-exit-ing, un-excell-ed, psycho-logy

In turn, words ( phonemes and morphemes ) can be joined into even more complexthoughts. Just as rules combining phonemes and morphemes, there are rules forstructuring sentences and their meaning. These rules are what linguists call Grammar.

Grammar :

The two major components of grammar are Syntax and Semantics.

Syntax is the systems of rules that governs that how we combine words to form

meaningful phrases and sentences. For example in English language and many

other languages the meaning of the sentence is determined by the word order orsequence of words

Hit Sally car the does not make any sense

Sally hit the car and - The Car hit Sally make different meanings

Semantics describe how we assign meaning to phonemes and morphemes, and

sentences in other words the content of the language. When we think about

say for example ocean our ideas consisting of phrases and sentences such asThe ocean is unusually calm tonight sentence have both asurface structure

the particular words and phrases and a deep structure the underlying meaning.

The ocean is unusually calm tonight

Tonight the ocean is particularly calmCompared with most other nights, tonight is calm

Diction The articulation of speech regarded from the point of view of its

intelligibility to the audience

I propose this book to be a brief introduction for Soft Skills development. Hence I

will enumerate these four concepts a Language learning in brief. English Language

Training is beyond the scope of this book.

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1. ListeningThe Mother or Par-excellence in the quadrant of Communication

Every baby-boy or baby-girl starts life with an initial cry at the onset of birth. Thebabies are endowed first with the traits of Observation and Imitation. And the new born

starts with imitating and listening to us elders to start to with, the small activities will be

imitated ( say a smile if we smile most of the children reciprocate ) and the intensetraining regarding Speech starts.

Imagine or visualize the situation. Its is your first day on Earth, in your home.

Lot of commotion takes place around you. Lots of big creatures come out to your cradle

and start making faces.One by one the people start talking to you. Baa., chuchuchu . Lot of musical

notes, sounds and lot of hullabaloo, lot of gestures, that is nonverbal-vocal, non-vocal.You may try to imitate some of them.

And everybody, your relatives, your parents friends, speak trying to

communicate to you, knowing fully well you cannot talk.Some samples are :

You mother starts saying Mother, Motherrepeatedly.

Your father dont want to lag behind, and starts saying Father cheeppmmaCheeppu naanna and you mother gets beamed for the change of language and says

amma anamma amma. Grand old man (your paternal grandp father ) comes to your

cradle. He is of the opinion that tata is easier to pronounce he starts out with tata and

introduces naanamma his better half to you. Your maternal grandmother incidentallyhappens to be there and starts her self introduction ammamma and your mother beams

at you. Naa nanna kadu, naa talli kadu, naa bangaru knodda kadu, malee annamma

ammama amma ( these are pet words in Telugu language Please dont get

intimidated with these words in italics . To illustrate a point I have switch over to

Telugu being my mother tongue.)

Gradually as the days go by, you may to start with aa and then amma, naanna and tata,ammama, - your orientation in to your mother tongue is complete by now. You speak

in your mother tongue in 3 to 5 years at home. You are admitted in a school for initiation

into higher studies. By 20 years you are adept in your mother tongue.

As you start attending a school, there also your start with your mother tongue first, the

teacher gets annoyed and starts with English language of course - ABCDs , A-Apple,

B-Boy, C-Cat and so on and so forth. She sings Rhymes and you and the other tiny-totsrepeat after her. But it is Just rote-learning as most of the lackluster schools do not take

much interest about your language skills. IIT and EMACET initiations gets the priority,

as Mathematics, Science gets priority. Of course there is nothing wrong in that. Here one-eyed treatment is meted out to you and languages gets step-motherly treatment. And you

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Moreover, 15 to 25% is only verbal, the rest consists of a wide range of non-verbal

symbolsAnd the only choice we have as listeners eitherto listen or not to listen

Types of Listening

1. Ignoring2. Pretending to Listen

3. Selective Listening

4. Attentive or Focused Listening

5. Empathetic Listening

1. Ignoring :

We ignore when we are not interested or when we are absorbed in some other thing.

Just imagine the scenario. A son wants to tell his father about the incident that hashappened in school. The father who is absorbed in TV or say specifically a Cricket

match may not be listening at all. He is just ignoring

2. Pretending to Listen :

In the above case, he may say occasionally go on my son, go on. Simply he is not

listening, he is pretending to listen.

3. Selective Listening :

When we have a purpose for listening we listen selectively. For example you are at arailway station awaiting the arrival of your friend. You might be listening to say 40 to

50 announcements of arrivals and department

4. Attentive or Focused Listening

5. Empathetic Listening

The essence of empathetic listening is not that you agree with someone, it is that you

fully, deeply understand that person emotionally as well as intellectuallyEmpathetic Listening

To relate effectively with a wife, children, friends or working associates, people at large -

We must learn to Listen

It requires Emotional Strength / QuotientIt involves :

Patience ( infinite patience )

Openness or Transparency ( of course not 100 % )

The desire to UnderstandIts so much easier to give a high-level advice from a low emotional level. we have to

go to their level of existence- we should be in their shoes so to say, perceive and

advice

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LISTEN = SILENT, TINSEL is an anagram = A word or phrase formed by reorderingthe letters of another word or phrase, such as satin tostain. God and dog

Silence :

The most intriguing among all non-verbal symbols is undoubtedly Silence.Speaking is silver and silence is golden. What makes it special is its ability to project

contradictory meanings.It can stand for Yes, No, May be, and all them together. It israther confusing sometimes. It is the best example of the inscrutability (Difficult tofathom or understand ) of human communication. It requires higher than usual

communicative competence to read silence reliably.

Silence can be a reliable weapon. It if you call someone names and he respondswith a stony silence it is difficulty to go on. Silence is the heart ofSatyagaraha .

Silence is a symbol of dignity. It is below its dignity for an elephant to cry out in pain if

you hit it with your fist. It may not even give you the honour of noticing you. When you

ignore insults others heap on you, you act like the elephant and make them feel impotent.Silence is a useful tool in negotiations. If you hold back what is on your mind,

you may find that your opponent will concede (acknowledge) much more ground than he hasbeen planning to. The first one to blink loses out.

The ability to keep their mouths shut for long periods during a conversation, it is

said, makes the Japanese excellent negotiators. They listen to you. They read you. You go

on talking and baring your heart and mind them. Naturally you become vulnerable.Silence is power.

Albert Einstein enumerates formula for Success

S = X plus Y plus Z

X = Hard work

Y = Play or leisure

Z = Keeping your mouth shut

But sometimes silence may mean you are a moral coward when it is your duty to

express. If you fail to congratulate some of your subordinates on their achievements andfail to take any action when some others violate company norms you may sending very

strong and wrong messages. One may encounter unintentional silence in written

communication. He is not interested to reply you, or it may mean he has not received thewritten communication nor though received he had not read it yet.

2. Speaking (Pronunciation, Intonation, word stress)

Helen Keller ( 8th July 1986 ) source : Internet

To those who want to learn to speak and to those who are teaching them.Be a good cheer. Do not think of todays failures but of the success that may come

tomorrow. You have set yourself a difficult task but you will succeed if you persevere or

patient, and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles, a delight in climbing rugged

paths, which you would perhaps never know if you would sometime slip backward, if theroad was always smooth and pleasant. Remember, no effort that we make to attain

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something beautiful is ever lost. Sometime, somewhere, somehow, we shall find that

which we seek.

Phonetic means = A spelling system can be described as Phonetic if you can understand

how words are pronounced simply by looking at them Telugu language

English is a non-phonetic languageThough there is this specific phonetic method I am of the opinion that no system of

marks in a lexicon can tell one how to pronounce a word. The only way isto hear while

it is being spoken by good conversationalist , especially in a language like English whichis with so many un-spell able vowels, consonants etc.

Try Pronounce these non-phonetic words of English:

Pronunciation, Financial director , hutch ( hatch ) , World , Psychology, Tsunami,

SUNita, Paradigm, Sphinx, Phoenix, - Good and Food, Jew and Zoo, County and

country

Parameters to look for while some body is speaking

Pronunciation of words

Simple expressions

Sufficient pauses

But not too many pauses

not too fast

not fast

intonation low and high pitch of the voice

not fillers like uum aa , regarding, when coming to my eq, tq job exp etc

50 % rendition and 50 % understand of the receiver

Many people who are otherwise technically competent and knowledgeable in their

own discipline and domain, are unable to write or speak in English effectively.

3. Reading

Initially read for the sake of reading alone. Read aloud, just to listen to the pure delight of

listening to your voice. Your voice is the sweetest thing to you. It is not necessary oneshould understand every word before he can read with pleasure or profit.

Cultivate habit of reading books, novels, news paper articles, magazine articles if you

have not done so far, please do start now. Without extensive reading, vocabulary andidiomatic development writing is an next to impossible

Do we really require Read India and Write India campaigns like Lead India ?

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4. Writing

Normally use the brain storming method to generate ideas on a topic

(Generation of loose ideas)

Generate outlines with Verbs and prepositions from the ideas

Construct small sentences from the pool

Group them into paragraphs one main or central idea for a paragraph As far as possible , generate simple sentences. Subject, Verb and Object

Split long and complex sentences into simple sentences

Re write the paragraphs so to generate a story or a topic

( that is maintaining continuity )

Edit all the written matter

Once again Re-Edit the matter or topic or the story looking for printer devils( spelling errors ) grammatical errors and contextual errors, text omissions,

unnecessary text additions, interpolations ( eg : gender change , tense change )

It may not be so easy to develop writing skills without the continuous reading habit. So

cultivate reading habit , start from today

Let us examine an inspiring and motivational anecdote.

Rome was not built in a day

Many a colossal buildings start with a single brick

Study or Work, or Contribution to our society in piece-meal( in

Installments in small measures ) is enough to start with :

An Author goes to a Sea Coast to do his writing

Lot of Start Fish washed ashore after a Strom

surprised to find an young man throwing them back into the seameticulously.

The author : Hey! young man why are you doing this?.

The young man if I do not throw them back to sea they will die.

The author : there are thousands and thousands of them on the sands. youcant possible make any difference !

The young man took one star fish and thrown her into the sea and calmly

said It made a difference to her his action was not in vain after all.

Barriers in Communication -1/2

Mechanical failure, noise Signal to Noise ratio Db - deciblesWord miss-interpretation, talking too much

Language, repeatedly telling others what

they should do, going on arguingOver emphasizing blame

Interrupting the other person

Level difference between persons - statusCultural differences - emotion, fear

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Barriers in Communication -2/2

Mistrust, poor listeningLack of experience, lack of time, selectivity

in listening, know it all attitude

Impatience, low credibility of sourceOne way communication = not allowing

others to speak talk all at once

Closed mind, prejudice, biasPre-conceived notions

Some tips on better Communication -1/3

1. When someone talks to you, look at him and pay full attention. This gives satisfactionthat you are listening

2. Be clear in your instructions and do not give vague suggestions

3. Have small group discussions with your employees to find out their grievances and

problems before they reach a boiling point

Some tips on better Communication -2/3

4. Always be willing to listen to feedback, sometimes feedback may not be pleasant, but

you have to listen without interruption

5. Adopt your language to suit the level of your employees6. Know the background of the person before you talk to him

7. Be willing to listen to the other persons view pointSome tips on better Communication -3/3

8. Do not interrupt the person when he

speaks to you

9. Be willing to learn from your subordinates

10. Cultivate a lively Sense of HumorA person without a Smile is half dressed

Always be fully dressed.11. Always listen to your superiors with open mind

12. Cultivate a lively Sense of Humor - it can help in embarrassed, tongue-tied and

confusing situations

Inspired by the Radio Mirchi 98. 3 FM its hot, its hot idi challa hot guru Anamika

and my own musing :

Boy : I love you sweet heart

Girl : I love you too

Boy :

But, But . Just like Praveen,I dont have a Duplex house ( anywhere between 20 to 30 Lakhs)

I dont have a Mercedez benz Car ( 3 crores )

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I dont have a Bentlay car the fatest ( 2 crores )

I dont have a Tata Jagurar Car ( 50 lakhs )

I dont have a Sony Bravia LCD TV ( 3 lakhs )I am yet to acquire Tata Nano Car the common ( middle class mans) ( 1.5 lakhs)

But I have a heart of Gold which Loves you all the time that is all

Girl : Ok Darling! It is Ok, will you, Please give me the cell number of Praveen.

Spear of Charm and Armour of Wit

Before marriage a man YEARNS

After marriage Y become silent he EARNS SMS Joke of the day - TOI

Vagbhooshanam Bhooshanam

R. K.Laxmans cartoon in TOI Times of India

Secretary to the Minister He came with an impossible wish lists of Demands for the

post budget exercise Sir, He wanted Good pollution free Air, Food, Water, Shelter,Education , Power 24 hours. What can we offer him Sir

Minister : of course We can offer Globalization and Internet for every home.

Mike how are your going to

Kill the Lion Mike thinks and thinks . And

says I will eat poison and die. Subsequently the Lion eats me and it also dies, that is all

Boss : We are keen on Cleanliness? Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you come in ?New Recruit : Yes Sir, I Did

Boss : We are keen on Truthfulness and there is no door mat.

New Recruit : I Sir, I observed - SMS joke of the day

Tools to improve Vocabulary-1/21. First have the attitude to improve your present vocabulary.Note down new words when spoken by somebody-seek out the meanings for yourself

2. Take the help of

Dictionaries - Hard copies or soft copiesThesaurus = dictionary of synonyms and antonyms

Internet = on line

3. Try to use them while speaking

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Tools to improve Vocabulary-2/2

To improve the richness of your language

Dictionary & Thesaurus hard copy and if you own a computer - soft copiesBook on Idioms and phrases

Book on Proverbs

Book on QuotationsHumorous Anecdotes

Internet of course

Vocabulary development1. Spend time every day poring over a dictionary. To start, with take the News paper of

the day and note down the new words, new concepts, new idioms. Get back to a

dictionary and immediately find the meanings or the words and idioms , you will beknowing the meaning contextually then and there . Go back to the News paper read and

review the same second time in the light of the new meanings and understanding

2. Always keep a small pocket note book and note down then and there any of the

English words spoken by your parents, are older members , peers, collegues, people goodat English. As soon as you come home refer the meanings contextually. This also you do

it on daily basis . This should become a daily habit.

Both emphasis insist on Continuous Learning on day to day basisSome online dictionaries like Cambridge Advanced Learners dictionary which is

one of the best, show the usage of a word or an idiom in a sentence. There you will be

rehearsing the contextual sense of a sentence.Books : Norman Lewis Word Power made Easy for Vocabulary

Joel Lyall Dictionary of Modern Phrases for Idioms with meanings

and usage

Increasing vocabulary does not mean merely learning the definitions of large number of

obscure words; it does not mean memorizing scores of unrelated terms. What it

means is becoming acquainted with the multitudinous and fascinating phenomena ofhuman existence for which words or obviously, only verbal descriptions. Increasing

your vocabulary properly, intelligently, and systematically means treatingyourself to an all round , liberal education in English language

Norman Lewis Word Power made Easy

Norman Lewiss book innumerable exercises for you to do. He further asserts that no

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matter what you age is, you can go on learning efficiently, or start learning again if

perhaps you have stopped. No matter what your age is twenties to eighties, you canagain increase your vocabulary at a prodigious rate provided you recapture the

Powerful urge or the insatiable desire to know and understand that is the key to

vocabulary development

A sample from Norman Lewis :

It is difficult to resist telling a story. A nervous Dentist while extracting a tooth waslittle careless, and the tooth has dropped into the patients mouth. Sorry you are outside

my specialty go to a Laryngologist ( throat at the vocal cord area ), by the time the

patient went to him, the tooth has gone further he was sent to a Gastrologist, and in

the transit the tooth has gone further and he was guided to an Enterologist ( intestine ),and the tooth continued its journey in to the patients rectum and he was directed to a

Proctologist

The Proctologist proclaimed Good Heavens! You have got a tooth in there go and see a

Dentist. It has come a full circle

Possess a copy of Norman Lewiss Word Power Made Easy now start your journey

towards Superior vocabulary development.

Albert Einstein says I have no special gifts, I am just curios

Life is a Continuous Journey

Life is a continuous journey and not a destination.Machid madgata prannaha Bodhayanti parasparma - KARMA sankhya 2:47

karmanevadhikarasya matey sanogshva karmani KARMA PHALA THYAGA OF BHGAVAD GITA

But not Abstinence from ACTION - KARMA

karmamulanu manuta yandu neevu asaktudavu karadoo LEARNING - Every one is a

Learner till deathUN-LEARINING - old or obsolete concepts / perceptions

RE-LEARNING - new horizons, concepts / perceptions

Swami Vivekananda - our youth-Western Science coupled with VedanataLife & Learning

Life is a Journey & not a Destination

Learn, Unlearn, Re-Learn

Continuous Learning ( LTL )Continuous improvement

KAI = Change, ZEN=better = every day, in every way I am learning

Of course EQ ( attitudes and maturity )

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B will explain to 1

1 will communicate the story 2

2 will communicate the story 33 will communicate the story 4

Observe or record the original and no. 4th s version

The cat & the Mice The real story

The story starts with the student mouse waiting for the professor mouse. The professor

mouse gets chased and enters the class adjusts her bow-tie and straightens the diplomaThe Art of out-witting the Cats signed Jerry the Professor Mouse and starts

Lesson 1 : Cat chases the professor mouseCat catches the mouse

Cat eats the mouse

Professor mouse gets beaten


Professor mouse and the learner mouse to out wit the Cat Tom

Lesson 2 : Cat chases the professor mouseMouse runs into hole

cat says bad words

Lesson 3 : Cats paw but the leaner mouse escapes, and professor mouse gets beaten.The leaner mouse wears the dunce cap and sits on a pedetral.



Lesson 4 ( problem solving ) : Remove Cats Whiskers with out waking the Cat

The professor mouse fails

The learner mouse succeeds



Lesson 5 ( problem solving ) : Get cheese without waking the cat

The professor mouse failsThe learner mouse succeeds


Professor mouse and the learner mouse to out wit the Cat TomLesson 6 ( problem solving ) : Tie a bell to the cat

The professor mouse failsThe learner mouse succeeds

Conclusion : The leaner mouse shows that with affection and friend ship ( Cat and mice

should be friends ) it winsThe professor mouse throws her certificate. Wears the dunce cap and sits in the student

mouses class with Tom, the cat

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2-chapter two cs and listening-draft

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