In This Edition

The Voice of Albright College since 1904. 1

OozeballPage 3

A different side of D.C.Page 7

Mr. and Mrs. AlbrightPage 4

Block PartyPage 4

May 3, 2012 Volume 125, Issue 18

Professor de-serves highest “honorifics”

Student loan debatesBy LIZ REBER

The Albrightian

DebatesContinued on Page 2

Recently, Albright announced the discon-tinuation of its English as a Second Language (ESL) program. Not only is the college depriving future Albright classes of valuable experiences in diversity and integration, but it is also robbing them of a gifted and irreplaceable professor: Marian Wolbers.

Upon my arrival to Albright this fall, I was bemused to find myself placed in the FYS course Japanese Culture, for I did not recall selecting it as a top-choice. As the year progressed though, I was extremely glad that this class was a part of my schedule, and it wasn’t just because of the sushi.

That’s not to say I wasn’t interested in the coursework. I was. In fact, many times I would leave the class with intense pangs of wanderlust, yearning to travel to the far East, and due to the stories Professor Wolbers told of her many travels, I fully believed that I could. Without realizing it, she instilled within me a fasci-nation for an entire culture for which I had absolutely no previous appreciation.

Arguably, anything could spark new interests within a person—inanimate books, even run-of-the-mill newspaper articles. What sets Professor Wolbers apart from the ordinary is that I’m fairly confident she could have convinced me to love monsoon season if she so wished. More than anything, it was her passion and her ardent descrip-tions of the culture that made me care at all about Japan, and for that matter, anything else we discussed in class.

In listening to her myriad of fascinating tales, I came to revere Profes-sor Wolbers as a sophisti-

In the middle of a heated presidential campaign, one of the biggest issues that has come to the forefront involves student loans.Where both candidates sit on the issue may be a determining factor for the success of their campaigns.

The main problem at hand involves the burden that these loans could have on the tax payer. Many feel that in this seemingly lose-lose issue, student loans could end up either costing tax payers more, or obviously, by rais-ing the interest, cost students more. Soon, a resolution could go through that would increase students loan interests rates up to 6.8 percent from the cur-rent 3.4 percent.

The issue has come under particular scru-tiny as President Obama wants to extend the lower interest rate for a year. The higher rate has started to discour-age many emerging graduates and places overwhelming pressure on students to quickly get jobs for repaying loans. Republican front-runner, and now the presumptive republican presidential nominee, Mitt Romney, also says he thinks the interest rates have risen too high and agreed that the rate increase should be prevented. Both Obama and Romney have used personal experience to further their position.

The problem with interjecting a critical issue, such as interest rates for loans, into a presidential election comes from the trend of candidates who may sometimes say one thing in an attempt to appeal to voters (pandering), but then have to make

What do you do with your vehicle when the mileage hits 148,221,675? Retire it, of course. Such was the case with the Discovery Shuttle that made its final flight over Wash-ington D.C. on April 17 after the Space Shuttle Program was officially retired in 2011.

Discovery, which has been given the re-cord for most miles traveled by a vehicle, was the third of five fully functioning shut-tles that were used in the Space Shuttle Pro-gram. For some, the final flights of the Dis-

covery Spacecraft over Washington D.C. and of Shuttle Enterprise 10 days later over the New York City Skyline were very emotional events. For others, it marked the end of a program that not only cost near-ly $200 billion, but also ended the lives of 14 astronauts. And yet, for many college students, these final flights rep-resented much less. Just another plane in the sky, perhaps.

No matter what you were feeling after you saw, or heard, about the final flights of En-terprise and Discovery, if anything at all, they were symbolic mo-

ments in the history of both our country and in the innovative history of mankind.

The Shuttle Pro-gram, which is officially named the Space Trans-portation System, came into operation in 1981 with the first success-ful flight of the Colum-bia Space Shuttle. The program was commis-sioned as a new phase in NASA’s history, and in the history of human spaceflight.

This change was supposed to come in the form of regular, manned shuttle launch-es that would repre-sent that access to space had become not

only attainable, but common. This repre-sented a change from NASA’s Apollo Missions in which NASA sought to be the first nation to land a manned space-craft on the Moon. The Shuttle Program did reach these goals to an extent, becoming the first and only space vehicle to ever achieve earth orbit, and then land, and also the first and only space vehicle to be reused to achieve earth orbit.

These achieve-ments represent the immense progress that was made by NASA and

Space shuttles Discovery and Enterprise make historic last flightsShuttles fly over New York City Image courtesy of NASA

By ANDREW SCHLEGELThe Albrightian

ShuttlesContinued on Page 7

LETTER TO THE EDITORThe Albrightian

Aloha, Albright!

Sure, there were more clouds in the sky than sunshine. Yes, okay, I wore a cardigan instead of a bikini top. Fortu-nately, Friday’s chill had absolutely no effect on the dining hall’s annual Beach Party lunch—in fact, everything from the colorful décor and seasonal goodies to the jaunty entertainment was red-hot.

From 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., self-titled “Crazy

Bob” took on the role of host, DJ, game show host, and dance-contest judge, encouraging stu-dents to actively partici-pate in various games and trivia. Truthfully, most Albrightians didn’t seem to need much in-stigation beyond the huge spread of prizes displayed on the table behind him. Reminis-cent of a strange and untimely Christmas cel-ebration, the dining fa-cilities’ staff arranged

piles of random brightly-colored objects in a pit of sand underneath a festive palm tree.

Bob tossed some of the smaller gifts [over-sized NASCAR t-shirts, ball caps bearing the insignias of unfamiliar companies] directly into the crowd, prompting lucky students in the projectile’s path to ea-gerly leap out of their seats and cheer as they caught their treasures.

A veteran of the job,

Bob was well aware of the power he held as the master of the prize table. In order for stu-dents to win the more sought-after items, Bob literally made them dance for him. Few people hesitated; on the contrary, the front of the cafeteria trans-formed into a dance floor as students shook, spun, dougied, and whipped their hair back

By BLANCHE HELBLINGThe Albrightian

AlohaContinued on Page 8

HonorificsContinued on Page 7

The Voice of Albright College since 1904.2

May 3, 2012

News

Albright College Box: 113213th & Bern Streets

P.O. Box 15234 Reading, PA 19612

albrightian@albright.eduphone: 610.921.7558

www.albright.edu/albrightian

The Albrightian is pub-lished at least six times a semester by the students of Albright College except dur-ing vacation, holidays and examination periods. The publication is printed by the Susquehanna Printing Press in Ephrata, Pa. All submis-sions become property of The Albrightian, and the editors hold the copyright. All opinions expressed in The Albrightian are those of the authors of the columns and letters and are not nec-essarily the opinions of Al-bright College, its faculty, staff, administration or its Board of Trustees.

The Albrightian reserves the right to edit letters for length and to reject let-ters if they are libelous or do not conform to standards of good taste. Send letters to Campus Center Box 1132. All letters received become property of The Albrightian.

Elizabeth Gordon ‘12

Sarah Timmons ‘13

Sarah Timmons ‘13

Helen Anderson ‘13

Mandie Mulcahy ‘12

Jordan Bonte ‘13

Deanna Edwards ‘12

Adam Stamm ‘12

Helen Anderson ‘13

Tyler Parmer 12’

Dr. Jon Bekken

Editor in Chief:

Asst. Editor in Chief:

News Editor:

Student Life Editor:

Sports Editor:

Asst. Layout/Web Editor:

Entertainment Editor:

Business Manager:

Distribution Manager:

President:

Faculty Advisor:

Staff:Helen Anderson

Anna BerzinsJordan BonteChris Bucks

Tracy ChristianiAmylynn DoffontDeanna EdwardsElizabeth GordonBlanche HelblingMegan HomsherMandie Mulcahy

Tyler ParmerKeeley Peltz

Elizabeth ReberAndrew SchlegelBrinton SheetsSean SnyderAdam Stamm

Sarah TimmonsRachel Zaccarelli

Jennifer Bates

Science division beyond memorizationDebatesContinued from Page 1

ScienceContinued on Page 4

gradual modifications of that promise when elected. For example, Congress originally voted down a student loans bill a few years ago. But, part of their policy involved the same student loan interest rates returning to the previous rate after four years, around the 2012 presidential election. So inevitably, some political strategies will play a role in the ultimate decision regarding these interest rates. The candidates and legislators, therefore, benefit by trying to appease the public through reducing interest rates, but also suffer from the drawbacks of making time limits for the lower interest rates and thus forcing a reexamination of the issue after a few years.

After looking at this issue more broadly, it became clear that the effects of the recession could linger for many years. While officials claim that turnaround has already begun, economic consequences of the 2008 financial crisis will take a while to mend. This crisis also sheds light on a possible foreshadowing of a final deci-sion concerning the interest rate issue. In order to assist the public, many of whom already faced increased taxes from funding other economic recov-ery plans, Congress may maintain the rate raise in order to give the public a break in this area. One temporary solution involves a policy similar to the one made four years ago, where they could maintain a temporarily low in-terest rate. The problem here, though, obviously occurs when the plan expires. This highlights the need for a long term solution, which has made the issue so hotly contested now.

But people have a say in the decisions that they want to be made. When November rolls around, they can go out to the polls and vote for the candidate whose student loan policy they support the most. Unfor-tunately, young people, the newest to reach voting age, have the lowest turnout rate: lowest percentage out of all of the age groups to go out and vote. In order to prevent this “cliche” about voting from becoming a reality, especially concerning something as personal as student loans, people need to take the time to choose represen-tatives who share similar interests to theirs, and progress will hopefully be made in regards to student loan inter-est rates.

Either way, the issue does not need a temporary band aid but rather a more permanent decision. With so many different positions and people considering each angle of the issue, it may take a while to resolve.

By SAMANTHA PESARESIThe Albrightian

Can I really use what I learn in school in everyday life? Does studying a bunch of facts really help me get a job? What can I actually do with the knowledge I’ve attained? These are ques-tions many students frequently ask themselves, their peers and their teachers throughout their scholastic careers.

The Science division at Al-bright College has focused its efforts on creating a curriculum that conveys important infor-mation that can be applied to everyday life. Professor Audrey Smeltzer’s approach to teaching chemistry represents this ideol-ogy.

“My approach to teaching chemistry goes beyond memo-rization in the sense that I give information that is useful to you. Things that you, as a non-major, would care about,” says Smeltzer.

Smeltzer’s chemistry class fo-cuses on the aspects of chemistry that are applicable to everyday situations, from the food we eat

to the products we use. “A better understanding

of chemistry allows people to achieve a better understanding of the world around them,” says Smeltzer. “This approach, which focuses on applying knowledge, makes students think critically. If you can understand why your calculations are wrong in class, you learn to check your work. If you develop a habit of checking your work, you can learn how to balance a check book correctly.”

Critical thinking is a skill many students learn throughout their scholastic career.

“I try to show the relevance between non-scientific topics so that the information will be use-ful in everyday life. Understand-ing energy helps you understand how cell phones work and under-standing the different levels of UV radiation helps you make a wiser decision when purchasing sunscreen,” says Smeltzer.

The theory is, according to Smeltzer, that if one can under-

The Voice of Albright College since 1904. 3

SportsMay 3, 2012

From the scoreboardCompiled by MANDIE MULCAHY

The Albrightian

BaSEBallLEBANON VALLEY COLLEGE

10-20 L

LEBANON VALLEY COLLEGE

1-2 L

LEBANON VALLEY COLLEGE 3-2 L

URSINUS COLLEGE 2-6 L

ARCADIA UNIVERSITY 2-6 L

ARCADIA UNIVERSITY 10-11 L

ARCADIA UNIVERSITY 9-0 W

KUTZTOWN UNIVERSITY 5-9 L

MEN’S TrackURSINUS GRIZZLY’S

CLASSIC 112, 2ND OF 6

WoMEN’S TrackURSINUS GRIZZLY’S

CLASSIC 76 2ND OF 6

MEN’S lacroSSELEBANON VALLEY

COLLEGE 12-11 W

LYCOMING COLLEGE 7-11 L

ALVERNIA UNIVERSITY 11-1 W

MESSIAH COLLEGE 9-7 W

WoMEN’S lacroSSELEBANON VALLEY COLLEGE 5-19 L

LYCOMING COLLEGE 16-17 L

ALVERNIA UNIVERSITY 4-17 L

MESSIAH COLLEGE 1-18 L

MEN’S TENNISROSEMONT COLLEGE 6-3 W

ELIZABETHTOWN COLLEGE 1-8 L

WoMEN’S TENNISCHEYNEY UNIVERSITY 9-0 W

LEBANON VALLEY COLLEGE 2-7 W

MESSIAH COLLEGE 5-4 W

GolfALVERMIA INVITATIONAL

331, 5TH OF 11

MESSIAH INVITATIONAL 320, T-

3RD OF 18

MAC CHAMPIONSHIPS 625, 2ND

OF 8

SofTBallMISERICORDIA UNIVERSITY

10-11 L

MISERICORDIA UNIVERSITY

4-5 L

On Saturday, the Albright lion-esses made history. In a win against Messiah, they secured their spot in the District III championship play-offs, a feat which, for the tennis team, has never been accomplished before.

This means that the team will be head-ed to the Common-wealth Cham-pion-ships for a tour-nament that will last from May 2-5, starting with a first round match against Lebanon Valley.

Saturday’s match was an important one for the team as they were battling with Messiah’s wom-en’s team for the exact same prize: a spot in the championship play-offs.

Albright’s team, prior to Saturday’s match, stood as the

Girl’s tennis team makes historyby MEGAN HOMSHER

The Albrightian

It was a muddy second day at the annual oozeball tourna-ment. Accord-ing to Megan K. Bermudez, the director of Alumni Re-lations, this game’s idea was originat-ed within the Lion Diplo-mats.

“My un-derstanding is that the Lion Diplo-mats, in the ‘80s, went to a conference and learned about the event. It was happening on other college campuses, and they were re-ferring to it as ‘oozeball,’ so they borrowed the concept to start up here at Albright,” Ber-mudez said.

Signs were posted in the Campus Cen-ter and emails were sent to the student body about the event. From April 16 to the 25, teams had to hand in the registration form along with the entry fee of $30 to Pushman Cottage.

The tournament is always held near the end of the semes-ter; this year, 24 teams played on Saturday, and 16 teams played on Sunday.

“The normal rules of volley-ball apply, and you have to have at least six people in the mud at all times, [but] no more than 8,” said Bermudez.

The teams included students from many different organiza-tions including rugby, swimming, Alpha Sigma Phi and Alpha Delta Pi. The event itself is held in a watery mud pit in the field out-side the Albright Woods apart-ments. A volleyball court was set up in the middle of the pit and both teams play one round of volleyball, making the tourna-ment single elimination. Some-times, depending on the roster, one team may play twice, like team Defirm did this year. The event finished with the team, “Bang Bang” winning the tourna-ment.

Oozeball is one of the most anticipated events on campus.

“I think that it’s one of the events on campus that students get really excited about every spring,” said Bermudez. “It’s one of our many Albright tradi-tions, and not a lot of schools do it anymore, so it’s very unique, I think.” Bermudez said. The

by JORDAN BONTEThe Albrightian teams included students from

many different organizations including rugby, swimming, Alpha Sigma Phi and Alpha Delta Pi. The

event itself is held in a watery mud pit in the field outside the Albright Woods apartments. A

Oozeball: messy, muddy volleyballvolleyball court was set up in the middle of the pit and both teams play one round of volleyball, making the tournament single

elimina-tion. Sometimes, depend-ing on the roster, one team may play twice, like team Defirm did this year. The event finished with the team, “Bang Bang” win-ning the

tournament.Oozeball is

one of the most anticipated events on cam-pus.

“I think that it’s one of the events on cam-pus that stu-dents get really excited about every spring,” said Bermudez. “It’s one of our many Albright traditions, and not a lot of schools do it

anymore, so it’s very unique, I think.” Bermudez said.

third seed in the Commonwealth Conference, trailing Elizabethtown and Lebanon Valley, respectively. Their record, since Saturday, has been brought to 10 wins and 9 loss-es overall, with 3 wins and 3 losses within the league.

Strong wins early-on in the

match from the first and second doubles teams, as well as singles’ games by Victoria Foanio and Alyssa Sell secured four games out of nine for the Lions. A further win from Ka-tie Oeste drove the Lions to a win, with an overall score of 5-4.

Teams battle in out in the mud for the win. Photos courtesy ofJordan Bonte

Alyssa Sell on her way to a victory against MessiahPhoto courtesy of Albright Athletics

The Voice of Albright College since 1904.4

May 3, 2012Student life

Mr. and Mrs. AlbrightContinued on Page 8

stand the function or purpose of one object or event, he or she can relate this understanding to others.

So, can I use what I’ve learned in school in everyday life? Yes, and I can use the information I have learned to make more in-formed decisions. But will it help me get a job?

The application of knowledge comes to life in the laboratories of Science Hall. Oct. 14, 2011, marked the grand opening of the newly renovated Science Hall, including its 12.5% increase in square feet, as well as the new technologies and equipment made possible by the 34.5 million dol-lars allotted to the project.

Science department chair Dr. Karen Campbell has said in Al-bright’s Focus, “It’s important that we have modern instrumen-tation and are able to instruct students in current techniques.”

The familiarization achieved during lab provides students with an understanding of the tools and methods that will be encountered in the workforce. This experi-ence gives Albright students an advantage. When it comes time to apply for jobs, students can say that they have been trained using modern equipment and are already familiar with current techniques.

The increase in space has al-lowed for larger and more accom-modating laboratories.

“Today’s students do more group work at tables where they can collaborate with each other,” said Campbell.

Group work establishes coop-erative skills as well as teaches students to be receptive to other points of view. Collaboration also provides insight into the mind processes of fellow students and enables them to think more criti-cally.

The science division does not focus on solely the iteration and reiteration of facts but also on the application of that knowledge and its relevance to other areas.

So, to answer the final, and perhaps most important, ques-tion, yes, the things I learn here will help me get a job.

The ideology of a liberal arts degree is represented in the teaching methods of the sci-ences. Professors, such as Smelt-zer, strive to create a curriculum which not only enables students to understand how to apply knowledge in everyday life, but also increases their likelihood of procuring a job. The methods focus on explaining and showing the purpose for understanding facts and teach students how, when and why these facts could be applicable.

The applicable knowledge ap-proach prevents students from asking teachers the tiresome question of, “When am I ever go-ing to use this in my life?”

Mr. and Mrs. Albright: A royal successBy JORDAN BONTE

The Albrightian

“This is Mr. and Mrs. Albright, the winner takes it all. One wom-an and one man will prevail,” Clark Cameron sings. On Wed. April 25, the class of 2013 hosted the Mr. and Mrs. Albright Pageant. The show started off with Jared Mason and Clark Runciman sing-ing two of their more well-known songs, “Welcome to Col-lege” and “Old-Fash-ioned American Boy.” Their performance included some of their skits. For their second to last act, Jared and Clark sang about Sarah Skrocki, their volunteer.

Jared and Clark then an-nounced the contestants who walked down the aisle to the stage in their formal wear. In this pageant, students represented different organizations.

“There’s one contestant for each organization. There are seven girls and seven guys, so 14 organizations represented togeth-er,” said Julia Miller, the presi-dent of the class of 2013.

The following people repre-sented their respective groups: Rebecca Potts, Phi Mu; Oshane Rennie, AC2; Katrina Halasz, The Domino Players; Justin Talarowski, Mane Men; Sean O’Neill, Alpha Sigma Phi; Kristina Perez, Women’s Rugby; Katelyn Johnson, Sigma Kappa; Matthew Bauer, Albright Swimming; Justin Choate, Alpha Phi Omega; Ra-chel Zaccarelli, SGA and Quentin Hicks, Gamers’ Guild.

After the contestants came up, the duo sang the Mr. and Mrs. Albright theme song: “The most intense competition and it comes just once a year or maybe once every semester, I don’t know we didn’t do our research. The most intense competition and it’s gonna melt your faces off, ok that’s a bit of an exaggera-tion. This is a competition that involves a fight to the death, ok it’s a talent competition, but it’s a metaphorical fight to the death,” sang Mason.

“It’s more of a simile, Jared,” added Runciman.

During the talent competition, students displayed an array of skills. This section opened with Halasz singing “Jar of Hearts” by Christina Perri, followed by Potts singing “You Won’t Find This” by Carrie Underwood. Divided into three acts, the talent portion was not limited to singing. Johnson, with the help of some of her so-rority sisters, did a puppet show; however, this wasn’t your typical puppet show.

She and her fellow sorority sister Nikki Schwenk acted as the heads of the puppets while two of her other friends’ hands became the feet and a third friend created the arms. Johnson

and Schwenk danced to differ-ent songs, including “Kung Foo Fighting” by Carl Douglas and ‘N SYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye.”

Choate read a speech about

talent. In this speech, he spoke of how everyone has a spe-cial talent except him. He also explained that despite trying various things to see if he had a talent, he did not find anything that fit, so he decided to present a speech instead. From Justin’s speech, the audience learned that he does have a talent: public speaking.

Hicks pushed boundaries with

a not-so-traditional dance. He started off his routine with lip-syncing the words to “Sexy and I Know It” by LMFAO while dancing. Then when the chorus began, he

took off his shirt to reveal a leopard-print undershirt. Later during his dance, he walked around, did a push-up (during the words “I work out”), threw in a few pelvic thrusts, curled his fingers to look like animal claws (during the word “ahh”) and later, when the words, “I’m sexy and I know it” played, he took off his pants to re-veal a leopard print Speedo, much to the audience’s surprise.

The last portion of the competition was the Albright spirit question-and-answer section. The contestants walked up the aisle in pairs wearing their best Albright gear. Some of the students wore Albright sweatshirts or sportswear, like an Albright swimming uniform. Others added things to their Albright wear, like a red hat or a lei. During this portion, officers of the class of 2013 asked contestants ques-tions about Albright. The

answers to these questions did not come from the contestant’s mind but from a memorized list that was distributed beforehand.

Once that section concluded, the judges, Mike Miller and Heath-er Lisczc, deliberated to find the winners. Clark and Jared then closed the show with one more

ScienceContinued from Page 2

Students attend annual block party

Albright’s annual block party took place on Saturday, April 28. Despite the chilly weather, a moderate crowd of students still gathered in the quad to partake in various activities including a picnic and larger-than-life-inflatable games.

To escape the chill, many stu-dents took shelter in the Campus Center, where a mini golf course was set up, along with video games, a photo booth, sign making stations, and a wax hand molding station.

Left: Hanna Szigeti makes a wax hand at the Block Party.

By MEGAN HOMSHERThe Albrightian

Photos courtesy of Jordan BonteJared and Clark take the stage as hosts this time around.

Johnson and schwenk as human puppets

Photos Courtesy of Megan Homsher

The Voice of Albright College since 1904. 5

6 The Voice of Albright College since 1904.

EntertainmentMay 3, 2012

Albright student’s dreams are “Divine”

You may say she’s a dreamer, but Albright sophomore Stormy Russell’s dreams are coming true through her passionate hobby: writing.

Russell, a native of Rome, Pa., recently published her first book titled “Divine.” It marked the cul-mination of a year’s worth of work that ate up much of her free time in her first year at Albright.

The Albrightian sat down with her over breakfast earlier this spring to discuss her first book.

TP: It’s not often that someone in college has a book published. What was your motivation?

SR: Honestly I just kind of had the idea bouncing around in there and it was one of these things- it wouldn’t let me sleep, wouldn’t let me eat. I just had to get it all down. All the ideas. It was sort of like kind of the main character, Thea, was in my head. She was like ‘Stormy, just write me.’

TP: I have to be perfectly hon-est. I haven’t gotten the chance to read it yet. May I take it out on loan?

SR: I have to warn you though, the only typo that I found in the en-tire book is on the dedication page (laughs). Editors are human beings too!

TP: I can relate to that. Every-one has one or two errors (laughs). What is the main plot?

SR: It starts out with a guy named Demos (a multi-billion dol-lar corporation owner of Ubiquity, Inc., an equivalent to Johnson and Johnson (everyday items)) (crazy wealth)))... he eventually gets in-volved in his own mafia.

He’s getting older and he’s the head of both of these things and he needs someone to take over for him. He has four children (three sons and a daughter). His daugh-ter is the youngest and has these dreams where she kind of interprets to mean future stuff. Essentially he has the daughter who runs the company and the mafia (she learns about it).

SR:It was little things up until now. It was my goal. I need to have it (the book) done. And then it was I need to have this published.

Russell’s inspiration was from her own weird dreams and waking up and having deja vu moments.

“Hers were obviously more de-veloped than mine,” Russell said. “What if someone had this and someone could channel this?”

Russell has published a couple poems and essays prior to her nov-el. Her work has appeared on online websites, “Celebrating Me,” an ad-olescent/coming of age anthology, and US Travel Journal.

She has considered a prequel that would follow a different char-acter.

“Thea is done,” Russell opines. “I feel she’s overcome her biggest doubts and she’s sort of resolved her own problems in her life and has figured out where her loyalties lie.”

Stormy started writing the book in summer of 2010 (the summer be-fore she arrived at Albright). Once

she settled in, she realized the project needed a break. She fin-ished it this past summer.

During the fall, she sent out re-quests to have her work published, but refused numerous overtures from publishers that wanted her to pay royalties, down payments or se-curity deposits.

“That seemed like backward logic,” Russell said. “I just spent a year writing this... I don’t have the money at (age) 19 to give to you.”

She chose to work with Publish America in November 2011 since they did not have complicated fees or early payments required for the book to be published.

“They’re totally free and want-ed to pay me,” Russell said.

Sales have been good because of the ability to promote the book both at Albright and in her home-town, according to the optimistic storyteller. This experience has also aligned well with her future career.

Russell is an English/second-ary education major and hopes to be an English teacher some day. Even with the teaching world being tough to get into, Russell is hoping her novel helps her in future career opportunities.

Stormy designed the front cover, and her aunt, Sabrina Russell, took the picture.

Her book is now available across the world in Greece, Italy, Spain and Japan, among others. Her only concern is that it’s not translated. Her next project is to have it trans-lated.

If Stormy’s perseverance is as strong as her dreams are starry, the future appears fortuitous for a young woman whose first name complements her inaugural novel.

Divine is available at Albright’s College Bookstore, and online at Publish America, Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble. List price is $24.95.

From the Billboard Compiled by DEANNA EDWARDS

The Albrightian

Billboard Hot 1001. “Somebody That I Used To Know” Gotye featuring Kimbra2. “We Are Young” Fun. featuring Janelle Monae3. “Payphone” Maroon 5 featur-ing Wiz Khalifa 4. “Boyfriend” Justin Bieber 5. “Glad You Came” The Wanted6. “Wild Ones” Flo Rida featuring Sia 7. “Call Me Maybe” Carly Rae Jepsen8. “What Makes You Beautiful” One Direction9. “Starships” Nicki Minaj10. “(Stronger) What Doesn’t Kill You” Kelly Clarkson

Billboard 2001. “Tuskegee” Lionel Richie2. “Love Is A Four Lettter Word” Jason Mraz3. “21” Adele4. “California 37” Train5. “Up All Night” One Direction6. “Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded” Nicki Minaj7. “Making Mirrors” Gotye8. “Pluto” Future9. “Slipstream” Bonnie Raitt10. “Tailgates & Tanlines” Luke Bryan

Weekend Box office1. Think Like A Man2. The Pirates! Band Of Misfits3. The Hunger Games4. The Lucky One5. The Five-Year Engagement6. Safe (2012)7. The Raven8. Chimpanzee9. The Three Stooges10. The Cabin In The Woods

New York Times Bestsellers1. Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James2. Fifty Shades Darker by E.L. James3. Fifty Shades Freed by E.L. James4. The Innocent by David Baldacci5. The Witness by Nora Roberts6. The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks7. Calico Joe by John Grisham8. Unnatural Acts by Stuart Woods9. Guilty Wives by James Patter-son10. What Doesn’t Kill You by Iris Johansen

Hank the songbird

In what is arguably the per-fect anthem for angst-intoxicated college teenag-ers, the Wonder Years sing, “Sh***y dudes with tribal tat-toos all around, lining up cheap beer and roof-ies for a party at their place, try-ing to convince freshmen they’re somebody by spending all of their parents’ money on kegstands…and Matt says I don’t fit in.”

My Last Semester is one of the songs on the band’s 2010 album entitled “The Upsides” and more importantly, one of the selec-tions they chose for the lineup of their April 20 performance at the Theatre of Living Arts on Philadel-phia’s famous South Street. That Friday night, the Wonder Years carried out their teenage dream, headlining the Glamour Kills tour and playing the final show of the tour’s American leg in the very town in which they grew up.

Avid fans anticipated this show to be particularly exhilarating and emotional, recognizing that the area holds special significance to the band members. Many of their lyrics proudly proclaim that the Wonder Years are natives to a humble Pennsylvania town; in fact, their fourth album is entitled Suburbia: I’ve Given You All and Now I’m Nothing, accurately sum-marizing the band’s feelings re-

garding their average lives in the suburbs. Though the dull drear of typical days can leave something to be desired, they obviously can-

not help but appreciate their tiny town [Lans-dale, Pa.] as a source of comfort, for it is their home and the place they will always feel most com-fortable and happy; it is where their friends are.

The enthusias-tic crowd cheered throughout

the entire performance, loyally singing along with front-man Soupy as he belted Came Out Swinging, We Won’t be Pathetic Forever, You’re Not Salinger -- Get Over It, and several other hits before finally concluding the concert with a loud, confetti-spewing finale of All My Friends are in Bar Bands.

Other bands that took the stage during the Glamour Kills tour included A Loss for Words, the Story So Far, Transit, and the Polar Bear Club. Prior to their sets, each of the bands made remarks about their fellow performers, all attest-ing to the great time they’ve had on tour with one another and their respect for each other’s music. During the last refrain of All My Friends are in Bar Bands, the stage exploded with the confetti pop-pers as all the members of all the bands returned, joining in with the crowd in serenading the Wonder Years with their own tag-line, “I’m not sad anymore, I’m just tired of this place. If this year would just end, I think we’d all be o.k.”

By BLANCHE HELBLINGThe Albrightian

Photos courtesy of Melanie WeilandThe Wonder Years take the stage at the TLA

By TYLER PARMERThe Albrightian

May 3, 2012

7

opinion

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A different side of D.C.

I've been to Washington, D.C. several times during my life. Being rela-tively close to the capi-tol from my home town of Lancaster, my school district was able able to send us on occasional day trips in middle and high school. Naturally, they were mostly the educational type, with a lot of time spent at the museums in the National Mall area. While the museums in D.C. are nothing short of brilliant, on these trips, there was little time to visit other parts of the city.

However on this trip to D.C., which was sponsored by the Anime Society, I was shown something completely new. For starters, I had my first D.C. Metro experi-ence, and it was definitely a good one. The metro was clean and (with some help) relatively easy to figure out. For anyone ventur-ing to D.C., don't be afraid of the public transportation. A full-day pass only costs you nine dollars, and it will take you just about anywhere in the city.

We took the metro to the Capitol Hill area and went to Eastern Market, D.C.'s oldest pub-lic market. They sell just about anything from antiques and art-work to fresh produce and cooked food. The market has both an outdoor and an indoor area, span-ning across a pedestrian street, a parking lot, and the market build-ing itself. I could have spent all day visiting the different vendors, sampling foods, and looking at art. There was so much to see!

Surprisingly enough, it wasn't too crowded. As I'm told, it's mostly locals that visit the market. Want to go to D.C. and escape huge

crowds? Visit Eastern Market!

We took the metro back to the mall, where we then walked to Chi-natown. For those ex-pecting a New-York-style Chinatown, you may be disappointed. Although

not extremely “China-ish,” China-town was home to many excellent restaurants and (my favorite), places to get gelato, ice cream,

and frozen yogurt. Whenever I go to the

city, or anywhere for that matter, I always get stuck looking for places to eat that are healthy and, most importantly, cheap! In D.C., I ended up eating at a place called “Chop't” which specializes in salads and wraps. It's cheap, fast and delicious, and they have endless combinations of toppings and dressings. It's right in Chinatown, a few blocks from the mall, which

makes it very convenient as Photos courtesy of Megan Homsher

cated and knowledgeable individual. I’d soon learn that she was also an efficient baker (she frequently brought homemade banana bread to class), a funny conver-sationalist (her comments on my papers frequently made me chuckle aloud), and a skillful writer (her volume of published work is astounding).

When she asked me to stay after class one day for a chat, then, I did not groan or fret as I would have had the invita-tion come from a less-pleasant professor. Far from the typical polite-yet-guarded exchange held across a desk, she and I spoke directly and casually. She, because of her tendency to care about aspects of the lives of those around her, already knew I was a confused Alpha major. Sitting in the now-vacant classroom, she told me how much she liked my last paper and asked me if I had ever considered English as a major. Truthfully I had, but I lacked the confidence that I could succeed with such a degree in the career world. In en-couragement, she was not phony, cheesy

HonorificsContinued from Page 1

or improbable. Then, instead of merely listing different jobs I could hold, she proceeded to take me on a tour of the humanities building, introducing me to everyone we met along the way.

To this day, I do not believe she realizes how much I value her guidance during my first semester as a college student. I am now in fact an English major, much thanks to her. Not only do I feel pleased about the direc-tion I’ve chosen for my studies, but I also feel as if I’ve been welcomed into the department.

A polytopian and a story-teller, an author and a reader, a professor and a friend; it is a shame that Professor Wolbers will no longer be on Albright’s campus.

Sayonara sensei, and thanks for everything!

By MEGAN HOMSHERThe Albrightian

well. In the afternoon, we visited

the National Zoo. There were a number of good things about the zoo, the biggest one being that it was completely free. Secondly,

it was home to an enormous variety of animals: big cats, pandas and elephants, as well as many small mam-mals and reptiles. Third, did I mention that it was com-pletely free?

The zoo is free to all visitors be-cause it is techni-cally a Smithsonian institute, just like many of the other museums in the mall that are also free of charge. The zoo not only houses the animals, but it also studies and researches them. The animals are constantly under video surveillance, and many of them are involved in

breeding programs to help replen-ish the population of endangered breeds. This means that there may be young animals running around in various exhibits, and nothing is cuter than that!

In visiting Chinatown, Eastern Market, and the National Zoo, I experienced a completely differ-ent side of D.C.-a side that I had previously assumed did not exist. It truly is a wonderful city. For those of you who have visited D.C. in the past, I encourage you to go back and take a second look—I

Eastern Market in D.C.

Capital building from afar

A tiger goes for a stroll at The National Zoo

The Voice of Albright College since 1904.8

May 3, 2012opinion

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3 x 3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. You can’t change the digits already provided in the grid. You have to work around them. Every puzzle has just one correct solution.

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8 385

5

15 6 3

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ShuttlesContinued from Page 1

AlohaContinued from Page 1

Cartoon is an anonymous submission

opinion

Sorry for the hiatus, but I’m a busy woman: “things” to do, people to see, bars to be crawled to. I’m going to keep this one short and simple. I hate spiders; they sit there spinning their webs made of lies, yes LIES. Here’s the thing: as someone as open as yours truly, you’d better believe that I’ll tell you how it is. If you kiss like you’ve been starving for days and my face looks appetiz-ing, I’ll let you know. If you’re a one pump chump, I’ll let you know. If you’re lying about what happened, I’ll let the world know.

There is nothing grimier then a person who doesn’t kiss, but tells. If I’m man enough to admit to hooking up with someone that resembles Wee-Man from Jackass, I think I would admit to those more attractive then that. Come on, now I’m one for admitting to one’s flaws. I have a list including Wee-Man, dinky men, taken men, stupid men, and almost a close encounter with Sasquatch--thank goodness my women captured him before I became his next victim.

Anyway, I call these spiders Serena Williams. She hits and hits all these balls and then has the nerve to say that she’s never played tennis before. COME ON… or better yet Common, Drake, Gregory Michael, yeah I’m sure they were fine with a movie and sleeping in separate twin size beds, maybe holding hands, but only in public. Yeah, Serena… yeah. Anyway, if you’re going to lie about things, make sure that there’s no evidence against you-- like Wimbledon Championships.

But on a lighter note, the school year is ending and we are approaching the last week before finals and, well, summer lovin’. My dear underclassmen, just remember that summer is three months long, which is just enough time to finally rekindle that flame from high school or make a contact with that long-term crush that you will always crush on for no reason. Now, for my fellow seniors, this is differ-ent. In about two weeks, many of us will officially be unemployed college graduates that probably didn’t retain enough information to figure out how to put a stamp on an envelope, but that’s okay YODO, Your One Degree’s Obliter-ated. Yup, Obliterated because you drank so hard for four years. I’m sure you can remember more blackout moments than anything done in class. Don’t let any of this get you down. We need this time to rest our livers and let our brains mature through the damage we’ve done to our bod-ies. Also, stamps are now sticky, so all you’ve got to do is peel and place the stamp in the upper right-hand corner.

But anyway, final tips of the trade: don’t drink and drive, protect yourself before you wreck

yourself, don’t pump if you’re going to be a one pump chump, know that one hit wonders are acceptable, liars get caught, and cheaters sometimes prosper and most of all, use plan A so you don’t need Plan B. Girls, can always put on make-up to hide a butter face, but boys, you can’t play basketball with a tennis ball, and you won’t read another article like this because cap and gown delivered, I’m gone.

Sincerely,Lead Lioness

Lead Lioness and the big finishBy LEAD LIONESS

The Albrightian

and forth.“There are a lot of things in life

I half-a**,” admits senior Mark Dod-son.

“Chubby Checker’s The Twist,” he goes on to say with serious disposi-tion, “is not one of them.”

For his precise and thorough exe-cution of the Twist, Mark won a back-yard golf-chipping set.

Freshman Jena Dittus also reaped tropical rewards for her clever solu-tion to one of Bob’s puzzles. “Show me snake eyes,” he commanded of the crowd. While many of her class-mates merely squinted in the direc-tion of the microphone, Jena grabbed her ipod and quickly brought up a snapshot of the G.I. Joe by the same name. She hurried to the dais and showed Bob, who chuckled, impressed by her creativity.

“I geeked out, and I got it!” she declared afterwards with a grin—“it” being a dice game.

Each student was given a ticket upon entering the cafeteria, automat-ically entering him/her into raffles for various gift cards, folding chairs, and boogie boards. Periodically, Bob paused activities to draw a ticket from his plastic tub. After handing out hundreds of dollars worth of prizes, he and his party crew surprised the students who still remained, instructing them to take fresh tickets just moments before the drawing of the quintes-sential summer win: a new, shiny red bicycle. In the end, junior Thomas Atom won the grand toy, which he proceed-ed to ride right out the caf-eteria doors into the Campus Center.

Though it may be a while before they can lay out and tan on their brand-new beach towels, Albright students didn’t let the thermometer’s data spoil their Beach Party. With plates of shrimp and salt-water taffy wrappers lit-tering the tables, the essence of summer radiated from the cafeteria. In fact, the food service staff seemed to have thrown the Beach Party at the perfect time; with finals just around the corner, noth-ing beat dancing around with friends and sipping Mike’s hand-blended milkshakes!

other space flight engineers from the beginning of the 20th century, but they did not come without costs. Many critics of the shuttle and other NASA Programs, like me, highlight both the expensive price tag of the program and the number of lives lost in the Challenger and Columbia Shuttle Disasters.

Regardless of these achievements and costs, the Space Shuttle Program has come to represent one of the United States’ hallmark space initia-tives, and a landmark in human in-novation. The Space Shuttle Program could very well be the last manned space flight program achieved by the United States; it could mark the drawdown of civilian space programs and a new era of private space tech-nological development.

song. This song was a “serious” song; it began seriously but then ended humorously. They began singing about problems in the world that we ignore, but then changed the tone by singing about not sprinkling on the toilet seat.

“I hate when there’s pee on the seat, so please don’t get your pee on the seat,” sang Runciman.

Once the duo finished singing, the judges announced the winners. Hicks was named Mr. Albright and Perez was named Mrs. Albright.

Chelsea Cool, a junior, enjoyed the puppet show. “I’d say probably the puppet show was my favorite.”

This year’s Mr. and Mrs. Albright pageant was clearly a crowd-pleas-er and a very entertaining event overall.

Mr. and Mrs. AlbrightContinued from Page 6

Comic