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21 st Sunday in Ordinary Time August 21, 2016 Our Lady of Perpetual Help Roman Catholic Church Web Site: www.olphsedc.com or www.josephite.com/parish/dc/olph New Email: [email protected] PARISH STAFF Very Rev. Thomas R. Frank, SSJ, Pastor Rev. George-Bede Ajuruchi, SSJ, Parochial Vicar Deacons: Ira Chase, Thomas Jones, and Timothy Tilghman Parish Secretary: Mrs. Bernice Waller Director of Religious Education: Ms. Cynthia Battle Director of Music: Pending Phone: 202-678-5459 Email: [email protected] Finance Council Chair: Mrs. Bonita Boulware Pastoral Council Chair: Mrs. Karla Rodney Phone 301-758-3768 Email: [email protected] Phone 240-619-3022 Email: [email protected] Newcomers & Visitors: Welcome to “The Church on the Hill”! Thank you for worshipping with us today. May you be blessed with hope, joy, love and peace while here! Should you want to join our parish family please contact a Minister of Hospitality, Priest, or call the Rectory. Again, Welcome! Josephite Fathers and Brothers 1600 Morris Road, SE Washington, DC 20020 Phone: 202-678-4999 Fax 202-610-3189 Mass Schedule 4:30 pm Saturday Vigil Mass 8:00 am and 11:00 am Sunday Masses 7:00 am Weekday Masses followed by Morning Prayer Confessions 30 minutes before Mass or by appointment. Our Mother of Perpetual Help Novena/Communion Service Mondays at 7:30 pm (All are welcome) Novena to St. Joseph Wednesdays after 7:00 am Mass The Rosary Recited at 4:00 pm on Saturday and 7:30 am and 10:30 am on Sunday. BULLETIN ITEMS/INSERTS: (ALL MUST BE APPROVED BY THE PASTOR) Email to Doris Savoy: [email protected] or call 202-610-3751 by MONDAY of the week prior to publication. Notify Doris Savoy of any printed flyers you want in the bulletin. They must be received by Thursday morning. Birthdays/Anniversaries submit two weeks before the 1 st of the month in which the event falls. Bereavement Newsletter (published for the first of each month): items are due two weeks prior to publication. Sunday School October-June Sacraments Baptism: Is celebrated periodically, but not during Lent. For information on Parent Information Sessions, contact the rectory for required attendance. Adults who desire Baptism receive the Sacraments of Christian Initiation (Baptism, Confirmation & Eucharist) at the Easter Vigil, following a period of participation in the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults. Call 202-678-4999. Confirmation: Available to our youth, thirteen years of age or older, through the religious education process with activities involving parents and sponsors. Adults are prepared through the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults. First Communion: Preparation through the Sunday School Classes. Funerals: Please contact the priest before confirming any arrangements with your funeral home. Matrimony: Couples thinking about marriage should contact the parish priest prior to engagement or at least six months prior to the anticipated wedding date. The church desires to help couples prepare a good foundation for a lifelong commitment to this sacred marriage vocation.

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Page 1: 21 Sunday in Ordinary Time August 21, 2016 Our Lady of ... 21, 2016.pdf · 21st Sunday in Ordinary Time – August 21, 2016 Our Lady of Perpetual Help Roman Catholic Church Web Site:

21st Sunday in Ordinary Time – August 21, 2016

Our Lady of Perpetual Help Roman Catholic Church

Web Site: www.olphsedc.com or www.josephite.com/parish/dc/olph New Email: [email protected]

PARISH STAFF

Very Rev. Thomas R. Frank, SSJ, Pastor Rev. George-Bede Ajuruchi, SSJ, Parochial Vicar

Deacons: Ira Chase, Thomas Jones, and Timothy Tilghman Parish Secretary: Mrs. Bernice Waller

Director of Religious Education: Ms. Cynthia Battle Director of Music: Pending Phone: 202-678-5459 Email: [email protected] Finance Council Chair: Mrs. Bonita Boulware Pastoral Council Chair: Mrs. Karla Rodney Phone 301-758-3768 Email: [email protected] Phone 240-619-3022 Email: [email protected]

Newcomers & Visitors: Welcome to “The Church on the Hill”! Thank you for worshipping with us today. May you be blessed with hope, joy, love and peace while here!

Should you want to join our parish family please contact a Minister of Hospitality, Priest, or call the Rectory.

Again, Welcome!

Josephite Fathers and Brothers 1600 Morris Road, SE Washington, DC 20020 Phone: 202-678-4999 Fax 202-610-3189

Mass Schedule 4:30 pm Saturday Vigil Mass 8:00 am and 11:00 am Sunday Masses 7:00 am Weekday Masses followed by Morning Prayer

Confessions 30 minutes before Mass or by appointment.

Our Mother of Perpetual Help Novena/Communion Service Mondays at 7:30 pm (All are welcome)

Novena to St. Joseph Wednesdays after 7:00 am Mass

The Rosary Recited at 4:00 pm on Saturday and 7:30 am and 10:30 am on Sunday.

BULLETIN ITEMS/INSERTS: (ALL MUST BE APPROVED BY THE PASTOR) Email to Doris Savoy: [email protected] or call 202-610-3751

by MONDAY of the week prior to publication.

Notify Doris Savoy of any printed flyers you want in the bulletin. They must be received by Thursday morning.

Birthdays/Anniversaries submit two weeks before the 1st of the month in which the event falls.

Bereavement Newsletter (published for the first of each month): items are due two weeks prior to publication.

Sunday School October-June

Sacraments

Baptism: Is celebrated periodically, but not during Lent. For

information on Parent Information Sessions, contact the rectory for required attendance. Adults who desire Baptism receive the Sacraments of Christian Initiation (Baptism, Confirmation & Eucharist) at the Easter Vigil, following a period of participation in the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults. Call 202-678-4999.

Confirmation: Available to our youth, thirteen years of age or

older, through the religious education process with activities involving parents and sponsors. Adults are prepared through the

Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults.

First Communion: Preparation through the Sunday School

Classes.

Funerals: Please contact the priest before confirming any

arrangements with your funeral home.

Matrimony: Couples thinking about marriage should contact the

parish priest prior to engagement or at least six months prior to the anticipated wedding date. The church desires to help couples prepare a good foundation for a lifelong commitment to this sacred marriage vocation.

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21st Sunday in Ordinary Time August 21, 2016 P a g e 2

Weekday Mass from 7 to 7:30 AM followed by

Morning Prayer.

Please CALL the Rectory for all requests. The Archdiocese of Washington established a Mass stipend of ten dollars ($10.00), however, if you cannot afford the suggested offering, offer what you can. Memorials are noted

by: † Indicates Deceased BD means Birthday

AD means Anniversary of Death

Saturday (20th) 4:30 pm Vigil Mass For the People of OLPH Sunday (21st) 8:00 am St. Joseph’s Ladies’ Auxiliary No.213, KOSJI

11:00 am †BD Bro. Marx E.A. Tyree, SSJ

Monday (22nd) 7:00 am Celina Dixon Tuesday (23rd) 7:00 am Wednesday (24th)

7:00 am †AD Beatrice Delores Thomas (25th)

By daughter Gwen and Family Thursday (25th)

7:00 am †BD James A.L. Brown

By wife Hilda Brown Friday (26th) 7:00 am Saturday (27th) 4:30 pm Vigil Mass Sunday (28th)

8:00 am †AD Zandra Quander

By husband Joe Quander and Family 11:00 am For the People of OLPH

PLEASE NOTE: A FREE WILL OFFERING STILL MEANS

A FINANCIAL DONATION, even for children.

August – OLPH Jr. Aux. No.67 September – OLPH Health Ministry

22nd Sunday in Ordinary Time – August 28, 2016

1st Reading: Sirach 3:17-18,20,28-29 Responsorial Psalm 68

2nd Reading: Hebrews 12:18-19,22-24 Gospel: Luke 14:1,7-14

OLPH History, Mission Statement, Vision Statement and Core Values

Matthew 28:18-20: The Commissioning of the Disciples

Then Jesus approached and said to them, “All power in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go,

therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have

commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”

Our Lady of Perpetual Help Parish has a rich, black cultural history. From its formation in 1920, the Black

Catholics of Anacostia contributed to its development and growth through their sacrifices of time, talent, skills and funds to provide a parish plant of their own. Thus, the

uniqueness of Our Lady of Perpetual Help Parish places it in a leadership position to interact with other Black and

non-black parishes in utilizing the gifts of Black spirituality through music, dance, education, and special action.

MISSION STATEMENT: We, the people, of Our Lady of Perpetual Help Parish, therefore, acknowledge that our Pastoral Mission is to proclaim Christ and teach the “Good News”, to worship and bear witness in the community, to love and serve as Jesus commanded, and to preserve and share our rich Black heritage.

VISION STATEMENT: “A Roman Catholic church that is actively visible in the Community, shares its spirituality through fellowship, and is committed to serving God.”

CORE VALUES BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS: We will always speak the truth, respect the opinions and roles of all parishioners, and value each person, always maintaining Christian charity in all of our actions.

SPIRITUAL GROWTH: We will seek to increase the understanding of our Catholic faith and expand our spiritual growth by participating in and supporting charitable and spiritual activities, in addition to attending Mass.

STEWARDSHIP: We will become involved in church activities and commit our time, talent and treasures.

INCLUSION: We will be open and inviting by extending ourselves to all by sharing in our parish life; thereby, reaffirming our vision of being actively visible in the community.

LEGACY: We will preserve our rich Black cultural history by respecting the past, continuing in service and faith in the present, and committing to the future of OLPH.

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21st Sunday in Ordinary Time August 21, 2016 P a g e 3

The Week Ahead CH: Church CHG: Church Grounds FFO: Faith Formation Office

REC: Rectory 1P/3P: First/Third Portable Building PR: Panorama Room PRF(S): Panorama Room Field (Stage)

WSG: Washington School for Girls

Sunday, August 21st: Health Ministry Meeting 1:00 pm Perpetual Glory Rehearsal – CH

Monday, August 22nd: QUEENSHIP OF THE BLESSED VIRGIN MARY

"The purpose of the Feast is that all may recognize more clearly and venerate more devoutly the merciful and motherly sovereignty of her who bore God in her womb." Tuesday, August 23rd: 11:00 am Hilltoppers – PR 7:00 pm AA Meeting – 1P

Wednesday, August 24th: (Feast of St. Bartholomew -- one of the Twelve Apostles of Jesus.)

Thursday, August 25th: 10:30 am LOC Food Pantry – 3P

Friday, August 26th: 6:00 pm NIP & SIP – PR

(The OLPH Men’s Club is sponsoring this event to raise funds for our Youth Ministry Program -- Thank You!)

Saturday, August 27th: 5:30 am SHARE – PR 8:30 am VOP Rehearsal – CH

Sunday, August 28th: 1:00 pm Perpetual Glory Rehearsal – CH

Do you have a t-shirt or a polo shirt that has a positive message about God, family reunions, church activities, organizations, promoting charitable cause, or an educational institution? Of course this is optional but it will provide us an opportunity to lift up the values of the Good News in a relaxed manner on a hot summer day.

New Members are Welcome in any of

these OLPH Youth Ministry Roles: Youth Choir, Lectors, Ushers, and Dancers

Youth Sunday is the 4th Sunday of each month and will resume in September. Interested persons should contact the

Rectory and talk to Fr. George.

*******************************

Cursillo Ultreya Notice The East of the River Ultreya would like to announce

their new meeting day. Beginning in September, Ultreya will be held on the Second Monday of the month at 7:00 pm. Please expect a call from your

Ultreya Leaders explaining the rationale for this change. Please note, we will not meet in August.

*******************************

DIALYSIS PATIENT JULIA SCOTT (Daughter of Joanne and Lee Scott)

Needs your help to raise $5,000. Go to: https://www.gofundme.com/2ebc3uk

to read her story. Julia’s sister will be donating a kidney for her;

however, surgery has been postponed.

Prayer for Strength and Faith In the name of Jesus Christ, we pray, Dear Lord, see us through these hard times. In these troubling times, we

are filled with unspeakable fears. We reach out our hands to you now, and ask you to walk beside us. We

cannot carry all our burdens but we know you can. Please help us hold on strong through the trials and

storms. Help us hold on to our faith in even the darkest hour. Stay with us Lord and show us Your way. In your

love and Holy Spirit we pray. Amen.

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21st Sunday in Ordinary Time August 21, 2016 P a g e 4

BIBLE STUDY!

Tuesday and Wednesday Night Sessions will resume in September

.

Sunday Collections

August 14, 2016

God Bless you for your support. Attendance: 271 Offertory: $6,486.00 Weekly Operating Expenses: $15,000.00

Flowers for the Altars Interested in remembering a loved one, living or deceased, with flowers for the Altar of Sacrifice

or for the Tabernacle/Eucharistic Altar? If so, please contact the Rectory. $50.00 for the Altar of Sacrifice

$35.00 each or $70.00 for two for the Tabernacle

Women's Weekend Retreat “There is Greatness in You”

by OLPH Women’s Ministry September 9-11, 2016 at Claggett Center

Facilitator: Lyndia Grant Full details and payment plans on the flyer on the table in the rear of church.

THE SUNDAY TV MASS Since 1952, the Archdiocese of Washington(ADW has produced a weekly televised Mass for those who are homebound, broadcast from the Crypt Church of the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. The Mass airs every Sunday at 10:30 am on WDCW-50. For more information see the postcards on the table in the rear of church.

Worldwide Marriage Encounter Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. Let Jesus be the Lord and Savior of your life and marriage. Strengthen, renew, and rekindle your marriage sacrament. The next Worldwide Marriage Encounter Weekend, November 11-13, 2016, in Gaithersburg, MD. For more information and to apply online visit welovematrimony.org,or email [email protected].

Families take advantage of certain days throughout the

year to celebrate individuals in the family and to make sure that they know that they are not taken for granted. As a

family, recall all of the days that someone in the family was celebrated in the past year—birthdays, Mother's Day,

Father's Day, anniversaries, graduations, and so on. Next, challenge each individual to recall what gifts were received

on the day(s) on which he or she was celebrated. Emphasize that these days are intended to express

appreciation in a special way but are not meant to replace the appreciation that we should always show. Point out

how, at times, families can take one another for granted. Explain that in this Sunday's Gospel, Jesus tells a story about some people who took something for granted and paid a price. Read aloud Luke 13:22-30. Explain that, in this story, some people took it for granted that they could enter the house whenever they wanted, but the master

locked the gate and would not let them in after hours. Point out that Jesus was warning his listeners not to assume that

they will have eternal life in heaven and not to take this invitation for granted. As a family, commit to showing

appreciation for one another in the days ahead, striving to not take for granted any of the many things that family

members do in their roles as parents and children.

Quote for the Week By Warren Newton

"I need to worry more about the world changing me, then me changing it. If I let the

world change me, we both lose."

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21st Sunday in Ordinary Time August 21, 2016 P a g e 5

When NAMES can be removed from the prayer listings, PLEASE advise the Rectory 202-678-4999 or Doris Savoy 202-610-3751.

“Father God, we pray for all those who are facing sickness in the bodies. We ask that you would restore their health, soothe their pain, and ease their worry.

Give them your peace and comfort as they wait. In Jesus’ name, Amen!”

Homebound/*Nursing or Rehab/**Hospital Betty Ashton, *Sonnie Boulware, Delores Brooks, William Brown, Sr., *Elaine Browne, *Beatrice Campbell, *Donald Douglas, *Edwardina Dunnington-Coleman,

*Thomas Dunnington, Joseph Ennis, *Thomas “Phil” Ford, Betty Graham, Elease Gravett, Kathleen Gray, Jerome Greene, Jessie Harley, *Alfred Harris, Justina Hawkins, Letha Hester, *Michael Holley, Ruth Holt, Madeline Hutchins, Vincene Jenkins, Hilda Kearney, *Geraldine Lee, *Elizabeth Matthews, Betty Mention, Seldon O’Connor, Antoinette Reese, Mary Ross,

Camille Simmons, Aurelia Smith, *Eric Smith, Anthony (Butch) Stevenson, Anna Stewart, Reynaldo Thurston, Evelyn Williams, and Kobe Williams

Any parishioner who is sick or homebound and unable to attend Mass on Sunday may request to receive the Eucharist. Even if you are ill for a short period of time you are most welcome to receive a home visit. Please call the Parish Office to make arrangements.

ENTERING THE HOSPITAL? Parishioners planning to

enter the hospital are encouraged to receive the Sacrament of the Sick prior to admission. Also, because of privacy laws, hospitals no longer notify parishes of a parishioner’s stay. Please notify the Rectory leaving the name of person, hospital and room number, also when the person returns home.

Please include our sick in your prayers that they may experience healing and comfort.

Shirley Adams, Carolyn Alston, Cynthia Battle, Michael Battle, Lenora Bentley, Mary Bennett, Connie Brown, Hilda Brown, John Brown, Lorraine Brown, Robert Buchanan, Demarquis Carter, Terneara Carter, William Carter, IV, Patricia Chapman, Judy Chase, Benjamin Contee, Sr., Harry Conway, Margo Cooke, Patricia Cooke, Steve Cooke, Cecelia Craig, Celina Dixon, Agnes Dua, George Dugue, Jocelyn Dugue, Constance Dunnington, Beverly Ford, Alyce (Micky) Foster, Toni Gaines, Tekhari Ghee, Barbara Glover, Elease Gravett, Gwendolyn (Peggy) Gross, William Gross, Maxine Hart, John Hawkins, Roslyn Holmes, James Jackson, Sharon Jackson-Taylor, Akilah Jeffries, Crystal Jeffries, D’Ante Jeffries, Gabrielle Jeffries, Robert A. Jeffries, Nellie Jones, Bettie Johnson, Damon Johnson, Diana Johnson, Janell Johnson, Susan Jones, Vincent Jordan, Betty Lawson, Dianna Ledbetter, Charlotte Lewis, Fred Lewis, Marie Lucas, Angela Lyles, Arthur (Mann) Mason, Dominique Mason, Nicole Mason, Crystal Martin, Justine Middleton, Sheila Milbourne, Barbara Minnick, Danielle Mitchell, Elizabeth Moeller, Yvonne Moody, Gloria Moore, Betty and Leroy Norton, Rodney Norton, Edgar T. Nunley, Marcia Marlene Oliver, Nathan Owens, William Peterson, Rose Quander-Neverdon, Sylvia Reddrick-Harris, Judy Robinson, Rita L. Robinson, Demetria Savoy, Julia Scott, Dolores (Polly) Smith, Eric Smith, Clementine Smith-Easley, Vivian Staples, Curtis Stephens, Ainsley and Beulah Stewart (parents of George Stewart), Donna Stewart-Moore, Lauretta Sullivan, Marianne Thompson, Rose Thurston, Kirticine Norvel Twine, Adrian Wade, Robert Waller, Dawn Washington, Errin Washington, Martina Washington, (daughter of NewVelvet), NewVelvet Washington, Bernadette Waters, Carolyn Wheeler, Francis Wheeler, Earline Wilkinson, Katina Williams-Thomas. Prayers requested for Patrick, Nicole (& son Jackson) Graham (Seoul, Korea).

Michael & Carrie Craig 1st on August 22nd James & Darlene Banks 38th on August 23rd

Norman & LaJuan Gorham 15th on August 24th George & Shirley Conway 44th on August 26th William & Brenda Butler 51st on August 28th Kerry & Tracy Dugue’ 12th on August 28th Lee & Joanne Scott 34th on August 29th

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21st Sunday in Ordinary Time August 21, 2016 P a g e 6

AUGUST

20th Carolyn Wheeler 21st Marguerite Smalls 22nd Celina Dixon 24th Frank Norman 27th John Holmes Eugene (Que) Proctor Vivian Staples 31st Dianna M. Hill

PLEASE TAKE TIME TO CHECK OUT our parish website noted on the front bulletin cover and maybe these too.

www.josephite.org The Josephites www.josephitepastoralcenter.org Josephite Pastoral Center www.nbccongress.org National Black Catholic Congress www.adw.org Archdiocese of Washington www.jp2cc.org John Paul II National Shrine www.usccb.org United States Conference of Catholic Bishops www.ladiesofcharityadw.org

Archdiocese of Washington Ladies of Charity

SAVE THESE DATES

A JOSEPHITE SUNDAY August 28th at 10 am

Incarnation Catholic Church

Fr. Donald Fest, SSJ will speak

on the Josephite Charism

Sisters in the Spirit (in the Archdiocese of Washington)

15th Anniversary Celebration Jazz Music and a Southern Style Breakfast

Saturday, September 10, 2016 9 am to 1 pm

Registration begins at 8 am St. Joseph Catholic Church

2020 St. Joseph Drive Largo, MD Tickets are $35.00

Limited Seating – Deadline for Registration is September 2nd.

Interested? Forms with additional information available on the table in the rear of church.

ADW Men’s Conference “Be on your guard, stand firm in the faith, be

courageous, be strong.” Sacred Heart Catholic Church

201 St. Mary’s Avenue LaPlata, MD

Saturday, September 17th 8 am-2 pm

Cost $20 includes breakfast and lunch Register at: adwmen.eventbrite.com

Mass Celebrant: Cardinal Donald Wuerl Speakers: Fr. Donald Calloway, MIC and Mr. Pat Kilner

Why We Must Vote 2016 Sponsored by the Women’s Ministry

Panorama Room

September 25, 2016 4:30 to 6:30 p.m.

Additional information later.

SPECIAL THANKS EXTENDED

Thank you Our Lady of Perpetual Help. In the

past year, your Angel Friend Team has directly

served 5 mothers and children in need through

Gabriel Network! You made the love of Christ

real to the vulnerable and the afraid. As you

were there for the least of these, you were there

for our Lord. Thank you for your continued

generosity and service, and we look forward to

another year of serving with you.

God bless,

Stephen Wallace, Executive Director

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From the Pastor's Desk 21st Sunday in Ordinary Time August 21st, 2016

Word of God- Isaiah calls the People of God, Israel and others to reform as God's People back to the

Promised Land. The Psalm calls us to mission and reminds us of how faithful God is to His Promises even

when we are not. The Letter to the Hebrews reminds us that enduring trials as "discipline" that strengthens us as

we journey on the Way of the Lord. The Gospel reminds us that this last Covenant of Jesus at the table of the

Lord, which celebrates His death and resurrection will include the nations of the earth. Furthermore, His way

will not include a "U-haul trailer behind the hearse". Rather it will include all who in faith strive in the

"discipline of the Gospel" to live a meaningful life of relationship with Him and our fellow men and women. With the Support of the Parish and Finance Councils, we are beginning registration for photo sessions in late September and October for our Pictorial Directory. 2010 was the last one we did. We are doing it now to anticipate possible benefits for Christmas time. Now is the time to plan for Family portraits, and most especially Individual Family Unit photos. Remember it costs you nothing but time and getting your family together for a 10 minute photo session and decision. The parish benefits with a bound Pictorial Directory, a slice of who we are right now, and celebration of family at every level. The parish families we have participate allows us to have more activity pages in our book. A Food donation to the OLPH Food Pantry at the time you take your picture will result in a $5 discount on photos you may purchase. We have more than 500 family households in this parish. How many can we have in our parish photo album in 2016?

Get ready T-Shirt Sunday is August! oops not the 18th, but rather Next Sunday the 28th!

Bring and Send a message of Love, Family and Hope!!

Be Safe! If any of you are vacationing, we hope your travels, if any, are safe. We would be happy to give a

blessing before you leave. We also invite you to bring back a bulletin from the Parish where you will

worship while away from us and bringing the Spirit of God from the "Church on the Hill" to those you meet and

greet. It helps us appreciate how far we reach and witness, how the other parishes operate and reflect the life the

Church beyond us.

Pray for the Sick! Pray for their Caregivers! Pray for an end to

Violence! Pray for Solutions to End Violence! Pray for the Courage for

us to Act on the Solutions to End Violence! Pray for the Violent! Pray

for the Victims of Violence!

And Some humor? Puns Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience. Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.

A man's best friend is his dogma. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Atheism is a non-prophet organization. An atheist is a person with no invisible means of support.

Insomnia is nothing to lose sleep over. Gravity brings me down.

Teachers have class. Clones are people two.

Note found on door in the MSU music building:

"This door is Baroquen. Please wiggle Handel. (If I wiggle Handel, will it wiggle Bach?)"

Neutrinos ar into Physicists. House plants have a good sense of humus.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes. Sigmund's wife wore Freudian slips.

Why do so many foods come packed in plastic? It's quite uncanny.

Take an astronaught to launch. The best things in life are for a fee.

Archaeologists take sedimental journeys. Did Mount St. Helens make Seattle Wash?