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3 Brain-based Ingredients to Accelerate Rapport 25 February 2016

The brain is a social animal. Accelerate and deepen rapport with these 3 brain-based ingredients.

The brain is a social animal.

Social connections are a primary need for our brains.

That’s to say: at times as important as food, water and

shelter. And although this might at first sound surprising,

it’s understandable.

From the day we’re born and throughout the early stages

of our lives, we’re heavily dependent on others for the

things that we need and want. And so, we become

strongly attuned to other people.

In the modern and adult world of work, the ability to

make good connections remains a key determinant of

success, not only opening doors for us, but enhancing our

personal performance, reducing our stress and increasing

our happiness.

A key ingredient for strong connections

One of the key ingredients for good connection is rapport:

a sense of trust, harmony and cooperation between two

people.

Rapport is something that happens (or not!) quite

naturally. Think for a moment about your own positive

relationships, both in and outside of work. There’s a certain

sync to you and the other person. A dovetailing of

conversation, idea and movement. It’s a dance. And one

we’ve learnt unconsciously by modelling the behaviours of

those around us.

In work particularly, there are times when we want to

speed-up the connection; or when we need to work harder

to establish a connection where there is otherwise

resistance.

Here are 3 brain-based approaches to doing just that.

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A brain-based approach to accelerate rapport

To put others at ease, we can trigger small rewards in the

social domains that the brain treats as primary needs.

1. Offer STATUS

Status is our sense of standing within a group. Status is

hugely important to the brain and something our

unconscious is acutely aware of, at all times. Status is also

a zero-sum game: elevating your sense of status will

decrease my sense of status.

Enhance someone’s Status by requesting permission,

requesting input, giving positive feedback or sincerely

acknowledging them.

2. Offer CERTAINTY

Our brain is a prediction machine, continually mapping

past experiences to present circumstances. When things

become uncertain and we can’t make those predictions, our

limbic system responds with a threat signal. And the

resulting “away” emotions decrease rapport.

Offer Certainty by “placing” conversations (outlining topics

and outcomes at the outset), setting clear expectations and

always delivering on your promises.

3. Offer AUTONOMY

Autonomy is not so much about having full control over

events, as it is about having the experience of choice. In

stressful or otherwise demanding scenarios, brain research

shows that if we feel like we have a choice, we experience

hardly any stress. And so our “thinking” brain remains

online and we continue to experience “towards” emotions

like motivation and inspiration.

Increase Autonomy by offering choices, offering an

“escape”, encouraging initiative and promoting a sense of

control over outcomes – even if only a perceived sense of

control (for example: “of these tasks, you can choose which

you do first”).

Enhancing social connections via the brain

There are many ways to build rapport: body language,

dress code, trust, respect, shared values, empathy. What’s

less-talked about is the brain-based approach.

As with all these techniques, what’s key is that any

attempt to increase rapport come from a place of

authenticity and in the interests of mutual benefit. If that’s

the case, then a brain-based approach is a great way to

enhance your sense of rapport with those around you.

Dan Beverly is a leadership and performance coach helping high-calibre, high-

performing professional women embrace the pivotal career moments.

His mission is to inspire possibility in others: to help us excel in careers without

compromise; and to leave us feeling energised and uplifted by a new future.

Go online to book your complimentary “Session Zero” with Dan – and start

capitalising on your pivotal career moments today.

http://danbeverly.com/session-zero