BSS NEWSLETTER

BSS NEWS

3rd Edition - March 2018

ON JAZZ AND CONFLICTThe ?call and response? is a long held musical tradition, generally attributed to African vocal music and like so much in music, has been adopted and modified by subsequent musical genres. In jazz, for example, the call and response often occurs between different instruments. It starts with a theme, [a ?riff? to musos]. The initial ?call? of this riff is made, say by a trumpet with the subsequent ?response? being made by a sax, guitar, in fact any instrument, including the drums. The difference in jazz is that usually the call and response feed off each other, rather than being faithful reproductions. Thus, with a successive sequence of calls and responses, the riff becomes increasingly distorted, with the responder feeding off, and modifying the previous call, while the following call in fact morphs into another ?response? by taking the modified riff, distorting it further and returning it.

But, what does this have to do with interpersonal conflict, specifically, ?intimate conflict? which I define as the conflict between two persons in an intimate relationship? I believe this conflict is special, given the relationship between the people and I think has a lot in common with the call and response tradition in jazz.

Let?s define our intimate relationship, for the purposes of this example, as between a couple who are partners. Like a jazz duo, our couple is well rehearsed, knows each other?s riffs very well and depending on how they choose to ?play? can have a profound effect on their partner?s ?performance?. Now, apply this train of thought to our couple in conflict, having an argument. Like all arguments, the origin is either long forgotten, totally and utterly trivial, or both. For the purposes of confidentiality, let us call these two P1 and P2 and look at their conflict, as a series of calls and responses:

P1: [Initial Call] You don?t need to be so snappy with me.

P2: [Initial Response] I wasn?t being snappy, you?re being grumpy.

P1: You always blame me when you snap at me. Try taking the blame yourself for once, rather than blaming me.

P2: Here we go again, perhaps I would not be so snappy if you didn?t always blame me. Perhaps if you were more pleasant, this would not happen.

P1: I can?t believe you, you always do this. Why can?t we just talk about this like normal people without it ending up in yelling and blaming?Yeah, that?s right, run away like you always do.

[P2 exits stage right.]

Notice the escalation in the calls and responses? Each ?riff? is returned, slightly amplified and so the argument arcs up. This is a well-rehearsed duo indeed!

Article continued on page 2

Dan Simpson is the BSS General Manager, and one of the company Directors, having joined the business in 2010.

With 20 years? experience running health-related businesses, and an academic background in communication and OH&S, Dan has a particular interest in developing human solutions that utilise technology to deliver high quality outcomes with greater efficiency.

Along with the wider BSS management team, Dan works to ensure that the quality of the BSS service remains both industry-leading, and targeted to the needs of the companies BSS supports.

When not at work, Daniel enjoys running, all types of water activities, and family time with his wife and three children, aged fourteen to six.

ON JAZZ AND CONFLICT CONTINUEDHere?s the thing about this all-too-common scene. It doesn?t have to be this way! Let?s look at how this performance could have been:

Option 1: The initial ?call? is not made.

Option 2: The initial call is made in a gentler, or more positive way, setting the scene for a gentler, or more positive response.

Option 3: At any time in this sequence, either performer could choose to not to ?distort and return the riff?.

Note these are choices both participants can make. Like most human interactions, there are active choices being made all the time.

Ideally, the earlier in the sequence either performer chooses one of these options, the less escalated the conflict will be, the lower the emotional energy and investment will be, the less damage will be done, and the better the chances for easier repair will be. This is difficult for a well rehearsed couple however, because of their history and because they know just how to distort that riff in a way guaranteed to arc up the other person! Over time, it is quite normal for couples to lose the skill to play any other riff. In fact the song remains the same.

What does this mean for you?

If any of this article is relevant to you in your relationship and you would like to develop a different way of playing, here is what you could consider doing with your partner.

1. Pick a recent example of your version of a call and response argument, one that happened a while ago, but that you can both sort of remember and most importantly, one in which the pain has subsided!

2. You both have to commit, do this out loud to each other, to NOT re-enter the argument! Instead, you should be both discussing this in a calm and supportive way. Some couples find doing this at a local café is a way to maintain this calmness.

3. Look at the escalation stages together, not blaming each other, but instead, trying to see the reasoning and/or emotion behind each call or response.

4. Practice, yes, practice, a different response at each stage in the sequence:

a. The initial call, in our case, the accusation from P1 that P2 is snappy. This obviously is some kind of problem for P1. Is there a different way, different time, or some other, more positive way, this problem could be raised?

5. Set yourselves up for a different performance next time, because you know there will be a next time:

a. Do a practice run, [no seriously] a rehearsal of a new riff if you like, to best set up your chances of success. It can be helpful to deconstruct this sequence by you both agreeing on a ?safe phrase? something said by one person that alerts the other that in their opinion, an escalating sequence is or has begun. If either the caller or the responder recognises the initial call, and points this out, the more chance there is of not entering into the escalation.

b. Agree on your exit strategy, the circuit breaker you both will accept to allow either of you to exit the conflict with dignity, not with an accusation of running away. The rules for this are:

i . It will be used sparingly and not as a way to run away!

i i . It will be accepted by the other person.

i i i . It is a circuit breaker only and the conflict must be revisited after a pre-determined period of time [10 minutes to a couple of hours works for most couples.]

c. For particular failures, do step 4 above as a way of retrospectively practicing to get better at this.

6. For some couples, professional help may be a good additional resource. BSS provides couples counselling as a part of your employer?s employee assistance program. All BSS counsellors are regist ered psychologist s w it h exper t ise in t h is area. Call 1800 30 30 90 t o ar range an appoint m ent , but please remember, both of you must agree to this appointment.

Don Barnes.

BSS Senior Clinical Psychologist.

THE GEOMETRY OF CONFLICTWhen managing conflict, there is a model of conflict and dispute resolution that is presented as geometric shapes.

Moore?s Circle of Conflict helps to categorize the drivers of conflict and is further extended by the inclusion of the Triangle of Satisfaction, which focuses on the interests in a conflict.

Circle of Conf l ict

The Circle of Conflict proposes some directions to move to resolve a conflict. These drivers are:

· Values (belief systems)

· Hist ory (stereotypes, past negative experiences)

· Personal (personal factors irrelevant to the dispute)

· Dat a (information and its collection)

· Int erest s (wants, needs, fears, hopes and concerns of each party)

· St ruct ure (authority, resources and constraints)

The drivers in the top half of the circle are likely to increase and intensify conflict but by turning our attention to the Data, Interests and Structure of a conflict it is more likely to be resolved.

For example:

Starting a discussion with ?it?s the principle? is much more likely to result in an argument based upon values, making the dispute difficult to resolve. An easier approach is to focus on the data available to resolve the issue.

A common scenario most people can relate to is buying a new family car. The best car to buy is likely to cause stress between a couple if it is based on the values of one partner who has ?bought Fords all my life?.

If however, the discussion considers crash test dummy safety tests, and looks at running costs and resale value, both parties are much more likely to find common ground.

Tr iangle of Sat isfact ion

Win-win situations can result when the interests of each party are taken into account.

A dispute over an orange could be a win-win if one person wants the zest to cook with and the other wants to drink the juice.

Interests can be thought of as being;

· Procedural (how people talk about things) ?PROCESS?

· Em ot ional (how people feel about things) ?PSYCHOLOGY?

· Subst ant ive ?RESULTS?

To summarise, conflict resolution ? using this model ? requires a focus on the available data and the constraints of the issue, then a consideration of the emotional, psychological and substantive needs of each party.

Focus + Considerat ion = Good Conf l ict Resolut ion

The Conflict Resolution Toolbox: Models and Maps for Analyzing, Diagnosing

For the past 4 years BSS has been working in Colombia in conjunction with SURA, Colombia?s largest company. One of SURA?s businesses is Colombia?s biggest workplace insurer and it provides risk management advice and support to its clients through its team of Occupational Physicians, doctors and psychologists.

Following a major review of its operations carried out by Peter Simpson (BSS Managing Director), Colombia?s second largest coal producer PRODECO has now engaged SURA to implement BSS full employee and leader fatigue training for its 5,000 employees across its two mines, rail and port operations.

SURA?s fatigue training team is led by Dr Sergio Naza (at right on a trip to WA), an Occupational Physician and Epidemiologist. Sergio has spent considerable time working directly with BSS, both in Australia and Colombia and is now recognised as Colombia?s leading authority on workplace fatigue management. All the training programs have been translated into Spanish and are presented by Sergio and his team of psychologists, all of whom have been fully accredited to present the BSS programs. To date, the training has been extremely well received by both PRODECO?S managers and employees.

SURA is also implementing fatigue management programs in other Colombian companies in the aeronautical, port, mining and oil extraction sectors. This reflects the growing awareness of national and multinational companies in Colombia about fatigue and the need to address it to improve safety and productivity and reduce absenteeism and accidents.

FATIGUE MANAGEMENT IN COLOMBIAN COAL MINES

BSS St af f t alk Inclusivit y

On Monday 26th February Mark Hodgson (Wagerup Refinery Manager) and Narelle Macfarlane (Talent Manager) from Alcoa came to the BSS psychology staff meeting to discuss EAGLE.

Standing for Employees of Alcoa for Gay and Lesbian Equality, EAGLE is Alcoa?s diversity support and network group and is involved in a number of activities that promote workplace inclusivity at Alcoa, including training and community sponsorship. Mark presented the inclusivity training to the BSS team and led an excellent discussion on the topic.

The session supported BSS?s recently released LGBTI Inclusivity Statement, and BSS welcomed the opportunity to see what one of our client organisations is achieving in this space.

In the coming weeks BSS psychologists will also undergo Professional Development in the area, to assist them better support the needs of LGBTI clients.

Dealing Wit h Dif f icult Behaviour

This training course will assist you to develop techniques to boost your confidence and help you to more effectively manage difficult behaviour.

This short course (3 hours) uses an understanding of body language and verbal defusion strategies to assist you to become more confident in managing difficult and demanding interpersonal situations.

Course Cont ent :

· Underst anding t he em ot ional basis of dif f icult behaviour

· Developing st rat egies of personal self -cont rol

· Defusing agit at ed, angry and upset people

· Reading body language and using body post ure t o your advant age

· Key verbal responses t o de-escalat e em ot ive or inappropr iat e behaviours

· St rat egies t o m anage t he st ress of dealing w it h dif f icult behaviour

DATE: Wednesday May 2ndTIME: 9.00am ? 12.00pm & 1pm ? 4pm

LOCATION: BSS Per t h CBD Off iceLevel 2, 220 St Georges Tce, Per t hCOST: $175 (plus GST) / person* Paym ent on book ing via credit card, funds t ransfer or provision of purchase order .

Please email workshops@bsspsych.com.au to secure your place. Please ensure you specify what time you would like to attend.