5 Rothwell StLondon, NW1 8YH

23rd February 1984My dear Moleboge,

I have your letters and the card you sent me - thank you for the thought. I must now try to explain to you why there has been such a long delay in assessi8ng the value of your manuscripts.

In the first place, nothing has gone wrong with them. I dont know what Freda Levson wrote to you, nor what she intended, but as far as I can recall I have never said that the manuscripts were not in a finished state, and that we were waiting for revised copies.Perhaps she got this frpam someone else, but I have not said that.We are not waiting for revised copies. Please stop being so agitated about it all - the three copies were thoughtlessly delayed because people are handed these things to hand on to others, and put them among their papers, and forget to do it, and so on. Eventually, I secured a copy of your manuscripts, and now Freda has a copy, and the third one, I believe, will also make its reappearance very shortly.

Now about your stories and poems themselves. I began to read your manuscript, andfound them extremely interesting, but I had not gone far with mnaking any kind of literary judgement when I came up against the problem of the poetry. I must now try to explain what this problem is, which is difficult when we are not having a face to face discussion.So I will put it as frankly as I can:

For a long time I have been troubled by what has been published in our journals as 'poetry'. I have not doubted the sincerity of the writers, but sincerity is not enough. I have not found these poems memorable, except in the passionate desire for freedom that they express. To my mind, these poems were not what I believed to be poetriy, but seemed more like prose divided into uneven liSnes to give the printed appearance of poetry. Now you must understand that while I love poetry, have read a lot and written much particularly when I was younger, I am not an expert, as a critic or a judge of others work. I realised that I myself might be the one who was out of touch. When I was young and started reading the poets of my time - Stephen Spender, Auden and Isherwood, - their verse was couched in forms that were new, that broke with the old traditions of even metre and rhymes. Being young and new myself, I loved it, but I know that older poets found it difficult to accept. Now in the intervening years poetry has moved backwards and forwards, poets have experimented in new and often obscure ways of expressing themselves.Some of this poetry - for instance, Dylan Thomas - I loved and enjoyed, even when I didnt fully understand what the poet was saying. So I realised that in fact I could be wrong about the poems I had not liked, and it was simply that I was out of touch with new ways and new forms. It was for this reason that when I began to read your poetry, I decided that the thing to do was to get a poet - a real, live poet - to read them and give an opinion. I discussed x this with Ethel de Keyser, and she agreed to ask Adrian Mitchell to read your poetry. Adrian Mitchell is a well-known poet, also a playwright, and he is very progressive and in tune with the ideas that we have. I therefore gave my copy of your manuscript to him to be read - he agreed toO do it, but stipulated that as he was producing a play that was soon due to open, he would not be able to give immediate attention to the manuscript. We have not yet gbwx heard from him*, and this is the reason I have not been writing to you - I have been waiting to get the manuscript back so that we could have his opinion, but also so that I myself could read it properly, which I had not done in the first place.

I am meeting Ethel this evening, and will ask her to contact Adrian Mitchell to see if I can have my copy of your manuscript back, or if the third copy turns up, to be able to have that to read it properly.

I feel we have succeeded in messing you around, not due to malice, but due in the first place to the delay in receiving the manuscripts, and in the second place to handing it on to Adrian. Meanwhile, you sit in Tanzania, wondering why I havent written to you, wondering what wethink of your work, wanting to get on with it, to get it =published ---I know all about this, all of us have been through similar situatio9ns. Sometimes you are kxkmx lucky with your publishers, but more often they keep your work without a word for months on end, then return it with a brief note. Very, very rarely will a publisher tell you why they reject a particular work. These are only part of the miseries that the creative person must endure.

So please, Moleboge, forgive me for all this procrastination and delay, for not reading your work all through when it arrived and sending you my own opinion. It would have been better if I had*You see, although I would want to be frank with you, one is never so self-assured as to trust one's own judgement 100 per cent. It is never a case of either praising someone's work or else dismissing it as 'shit'. There are so many things to be taken into consiMderation, so it is not easy to make a true assessment. In the case of a young black writer like yourself, fired by deep feelings about your country - our country - and the freedom fight, full of sincerity and a need to express yourself, it would be futile to dismiss your work, even if I did come to the conclusion that it is not yet ready for publication. Often the first things we put down have to be gone over and over again before they take their final form. So please do understand that we want to try and help, and that I promise you within a reasonable time I will either get my copy back frOm Adrian, or get hold of the third copy, and write to you as fully and as frankly as I know how.

Be of good heart! If you want very much to be a writer,youwill be a writer. Have confidence in yourself and in the future.

With love

p . o - / S o x i f - O U f

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J / j C h L o ^ J / l « t k e M .- J

Tanzania School of Journalism

P.O. Box 4-067

Dar-es-Salaam

Tanzania.

19.10.1983.

Cde Hilda Bernstein,

I suppose I should introduce myself

first to you.Well I'm the one who wrote the manuscript

"Phases" that Cde Rica Hodgson sent to you for “screening".

Cde Rica tells me that she has not heard from you concerning

the manuscript.I suppose you've received it by now.So, I'd

like to hear your opinion on what I've written so far.

To be frank,I think I've made a mess about the

script,that is regarding certain parts and I'd like to

re-write and re-arrange the whole manuscript again.

Anyway basing your criticism on what you have out there...

do you think the manuscript is v/orth something... ?/

Gan you advise me on certain aspects..be it style,context...

Lastly what are the prospects of it getting

published..after lets say a final bout of polishing it up ?

Greetings.

Yours in the Year of United in Action!

Ms. Moleboge Machele.

H i i ~ E > A B k R i o s T c: i /o

I 2 . h S - O T n k J £ u l

• ' • IX

sD . -2~° t . 2 . r > ,i l d a B ernstein, ^

I $ m g l a d to h e a r t h a t n o t h i n g h a s g o n e w r o n g w i t h ray

m a n u s c r i p t . ^ h a n k s for t h a t . I must c o r r e c t y o u t h o u g h . Y o u h a v e n ' t m e s s e d

m e a r o u n d . I u n d e r s t a n d . ^ must f r a n k l y a d m i t that I w a s w o r r i e d a b o u t w h a t

Fr e d a L e v s o n w r o t e a n d I w a n t e d to r e c t i f y t h e m a t t e r b y s e n d i n g w h a t I h a d

w r i t t e n i n a c o m p l e t e f o r m . Y o u ' r e n o t to b l a m e n o r i s E thel de & e y s e r .

Again,publishing my work i s not the f i r s t p rerequ is ite .

I n t h e first p l a c e it h a s to b e p o l i s h e d a n d h a s to b e w o r t h p u b l i s h i n g .

I m u s t f r a n k l y admit th a t i f t he w o r k i s n o t i n t e r e s t i n g , goo d e n o u g h to be

p u b l i s h e d I ' l l h a v e to start all o v e r a g a i n . S o m e t i m e s I go t h r o u g h the

m a n u s c r i p t t h a t I h a v e w i t h m e a n d I r e a l i s e w h a t a m e s s I ' v e m a d e about it,

w h a t a fool I w a s to w r i t e i n such a s t u p i d a n d i n c o r r e c t m a n ner.

An y w a y H i l d a B e r n s t e i n t a k e y o u r t i m e i n g o i n g o v e r the

m a n u s c r i p t - e v e n i f y o u t a k e / s p e n d a w h o l e y e a r o n it I don't m i n d a s l o n g

a s i n the e n d I ' l l h a v e y o u r frank o p i n i o n o n i t . ^ h a t I m e a n i s i f y o u think

the w o r k i s a l o a d o f r u b b i d i say it o p e n l y but, giv e r e a s o n s w h y y o u think

i t s r u b b i d i so that I c an sit down, start a f r e s h a n d b e t t e r the w o r k . Y o u r

o p i n i o n w i l l b e an e y e - o p e n e r to me it w o u l d m a k e m e t h i n k b e t t e r a n d give

me r o o m for i m p r o v e m e n t . ^ o n ' t f l a tter m e . I ' m m a t u r e a n d l i k e c o n s t r u c t i v e

critici sra.

Y o u don't h a v e to a p o l o g i s e for a n y t h i n g . I n the first p l a c e I ' m

the o n e w h o a d c e d y o u for hel p a n d r a t h e r y o u ' r e d o i n g m e a great favour

b y c o m p l y i n g . I h o p e I ' v e m a d e m y s e l f clear.

Y o u r a t h e r r e m i n d me o f R u t h ^ i r s t . S h e h a d t h e same o p i n i o n y o u h a v e that

t h e w r i t t e n s h o u l d b e m e m o r a b l e . S o I ' m l u c k y ^ y o u ' r e t he ri ^ i t p e r s o n to

deal w i t h m y w o r k . ^ y t he w a y -^uth h a d a frank t a l k w i t h m e . S h e t o l d m e to

p o l i d i m y w o r k . I d i d tha t but I don't t h i n k I d id it e f f e c t i v e l y . ^ ell

she d w a s k i l l e d b e f o r e 1 ga v e h e r w h a t I t h o u ^ t W a s m y p o l i s h e d work . S o ,

do tak e o v e r . I ' l l b e g r a t e f u l for t h at , t a k e y o u r t i m e t h e de l a y doesn't

a ffect me.

I w a n t to be a w r i t e r . I ' m c o n f i d e n t a l t h o u g h i t s s t u p i d confidence.

W r i t i n g i s p a r t o f m e th a t i s w h y I ' m d o i n g j o u r n a l i s m .

T ell me, do y o u w a n t ^'anzanian p r i n t d r e s s e s ? C 0 u l d y o u p l e a s e s e n d m e y o u r

size I ' l l get o n e g o o d d r e s s for y o u , i f y o u don't m i n d ,

B y t h e w a y w h a t y o u w r o t e m a d e m e s m i l £ ......the u n e v e n l i n e s a n d

b u n d l i n g w o r d s t o g e t h e r a n d c a l l i n g t he e n d r e s u l t ,p o e t r y .

l o t s o f l o v e

t f J L d &- G jltO

S ' R s f t s t ' t U S i

Pinswell

Woodlands Farm

Chedworth Glos. GL54 4NT

July 31st 84

Dear Moleboge,

I have at last, after all this long time, read your whole manuscript

properly. You see, I had only glanced through it in the first place

when I passed it on to someone else who I thought would be able to give

a better opinion than I, particularly as far as the poetry is concerned.

Then it sat in someone's office for weeks, and somehow it never came

back to me. But Freda Leveson has passed on to me the copy fctaha that was in her possession, which I will return to you.

I have to give my frank opinion, which includes criticism, and this is

never easy to take. I know. I love my own writing when it is completed,

like little children, and if others don't love it the same way it hurts

quite a lot - at first. Later on, you consider everything, and begin

to take out of the criticism those things that you respond to - which

doesnt mean to say you have to accept all the criticism you receive, but.to acknowledge where you do begin to see some sense in it.

I would say in the first place that your manuscript does not constitute

a book in its present form. While the reader can trace your journeys with

you, and experience some of the things that you experienced, there is

no central thread that pulIs the peems and the prose together and makes

one whole of it, no over-riding theme. There is nothing wrong in setting

out one's experiences and feelings as a series of episodes, but for

these to form a coherent whole, there must be some dominating idea

that binds them and carries the reader through from beginning to end.

I liked the poetry much more than the prose. I found in your poems not only

the strongly-felt emotions and ideas that come through them, but many

memorable expressions and phrases that show your real ability and gifts

as a writer of poetry. I also found some irritating things - small,

but cmnstnatly repeated. One of these that I particularly disliked

is your habit of inverting a sentence - I cant find an exact example, but it goes like this 'Cold it was...' 'Packed the train is'; I also

dislike the tendency to put a last line or word in capitals - it appears

as a device, and not to arise naturally from the poem.

I felt all through that you have real gifts, that you have a deep need

to write, to translate life and its emotions into words on paper.

I also felt that you have not struggled with your words sufficiently -

you say that Ruth First instilled in you that writing is and has to be

a struggle. Writing, like the painting and drawing that I do, is also

a skill for which some have obviously more talent than others, but

even those with a great amount of talent must work and work at what they wish to produce, must never be satisfied with it. You must write, then

leave it for a while; read others; then return to what you have written

with a criticial mind. Remove the pedestrian phrases, tighten up.Quite a lot of the poetry that I read (not just yours, but from many

contemporary writers) seems to me just prose split into short 19ines or

one-word sentences. The true rhythm of poetry must come through. I'm

not saying that you have to return to rhyming endings or balanced beats

in the lines. But you must be able to write like that if you wish, in

the same way that a good artist must learn to draw, the basic structure,

even if later their work departs from the constructed line entirely.

I would think that you dhoulf select as few of your poem3 and send them to various magazines or papers that publish poetry. There are quite a number

in South Africa, in which 3ome of the outstanding black poets of our

times have first had their work published. It is best to start this v»ay, rather than a hopeless round of publishers with the whole manuscript.

When you have had a number of paai poems published, you can think about

poutting together enough to make a small volume of the kind that

have been published

I particularly liked the poem 'Walking in Exile'.

So I end up emphasising these two things: To be good at what you are

trying to create you must work, work, work at it, you must study

ethers, you must learn from what they do - I've learned more about my own paintings from looking at other artists than in almost any other

way. It's not enough to have the emotions and to pour out the words.

There is enormous discipline needed. The second thing is: never give

up! You know in your heart that you can write, that you have something

worthwhile to say and that you are a unique person and therefore will

produce something that is unique. There are always, too often, periods

of despair in which you feel everything you do is worthless and every­

thing you have writeen is rubbish. It isnt so. You have soemthing to

give to the world, not just to live and eat and love and sleep and earnxm

money, but something of value that will live after you have gone.

I dont know whether my remarks are of any help or not, but I do hope

very much indeed that you will meet with success.

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Hereford, MR3 (3DL England

September 27th d4

Dear olebo ,e,

Please make a note of my new aoareas - tula is now my oernanent address,

aa. I rr.t exoect to ue mcvin a-v-i • n for ruite a Lon; tine.

I have nor ted a copy o r Thesaurus to you; it will jroba’oly take some

time to coi:.e. Mail if. very expensive, ej rnsail much too h igh .I tn.nt you to i~ •••rf theTheaaurus with your fellow-studenta at L ie

sc,tool a; jour/iul ism. I would rather tnat It u a gift to tne

;c"ooi a > a whole. The other hook you mention, no one uere oeetns .o have

■ -i'.-' of, nor can th?y fird a n” trace o 1” i t, :iere t.-is it •>ublishe;

* i chc fi^at place':

1 lit- , tii.:;/ : •• -.5 pin fo r ?n 'a-.hib; t io n , so do not wish to .jfia, ■ t •■-•■sr. ? : • c ..»m Io i f th ing you wrotein ,/oup 1st '.i r. .a ’.•«•. f 1 :\ ’• T , ■ f..l cd th -t ny remarks wereizil.n ;il , •« «d th.si, you reel tn *au 'a \c: . You o toul • try to fe e l <:onfidcnce -a ua..i; .a .. .cu i v, j e v -.v-r- n err:,

---:... • .i >a ' ol.t - a i . » 1 : •.!)>: va that tht- i. r j .Sr.'. >r*>C9SS.; not: • .1 M.si i: a -.: or ■ .:o of lns,:^i u.'o: , but Lac w t c o :e of

- io .... jii i \l<a, ii.ee.’ hard w r k , ia which what you are «oi..r ; l e . r a m j!.1 t.ho i. i r-: - -• o it vouraelf, . >out - her tor j l r. ana

iu.i, i ■ . a.d ■ nr ■■ 1-. k ) . re : -lwr, ■;. -t ou.. .«i.l ja *:& overcome. especially fop >*:>»„•!., n? /, r.any more

obstacle.i i» .'or an. ’’or those who are marrifd, V: •jj.ildren, the

CciSr.’ of .. * -at,, c * is a f^rr. ifolr on ' sjid is; a la r,o tne silence of a any

.x-iac *i ::i ■ ■ 1 - ' iwve ya >at .. > f t s . no /->n knovi th« x;crk o: Sylyta di.... 1 1 ' '. lave i- -r jC ry. '':<«• v ? > r‘ ’e to a n a "■ her creative o f t

a.K. a a::. .* 1. .>■ ;h i ..-' a v ’ nd children, and committed

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at you i ........ . . ..

One . i.st o.o'.a ■ .. Ye’i, >erhaps 'doid ic .-/«*£' . iy. I. :aor . M e

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at-itemant, jUnt like that-

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a;-o, 1 cant any .a; this 't... a', out v’ny not s^nrt n tne or.es you yourself

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Collection Number: A3299 Collection Name: Hilda and Rusty BERNSTEIN Papers, 1931-2006

PUBLISHER: Publisher: Historical Papers Research Archive Collection Funder: Bernstein family Location: Johannesburg

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