51562902 you might be a survivalist if

8/6/2019 51562902 You Might Be a Survivalist If

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You Might Be a Survivalist if:

You can’t put your groceries in the trunk of the car because its already

jammed full with emergency kits, first aid supplies, and fully-stocked BOBs.

- You have emergency rations for your pets, and view your pets as potentialemergency rations.

- You know the news three days before it hits the mass media.

- You have back-up plans for your back-up plans.

- You’re convinced you’ve been exposed to so many chem-trails, you consider

it a form of birth control.

- You’ve ever repressed the urge to bleat “BAAAAAAAAAH” as your neighbor

earnestly asks, “What war? Where?”

- You’ve ever bought antibiotics for human use through a vet, or grains for

human consumption through a feed store.

- You’ve got more than one grain mill.

- You’ve ever wondered how you might filter the used water from your washing

machine to make it fit for human consumption.

- You have a kerosene lamp in every room.

- Your living room coffee table is actually a board with pretty cloth over it to

disguise your food storage underneath.

- Your box springs are Rubber Maid containers filled with rice and beans.

- You save dryer lint to make fire starters.

- Your most commonly-used fuel additive is ‘Sta-Bil’, instead of ‘Gumout’.

- You automatically choose the heavy duty flatbed cart upon entering Sam’s

Club or COSTCO.

- If you know the shelf life of tuna fish, but don’t know how long you’ve had an

open jar of mayo in the frig.

- Your basement walls are insulated with crates of toilet paper, from floor to

ceiling, all the way around.



- While other people are saving money for new furniture, or vacations, you are

desperately saving to get solar panels put on your house.

- You were excited beyond all reason when they came out with cheddar

cheese in a can.

- You’ve ever served MREs at a dinner party.

- You can engage in a spirited debate on chemical vs. sawdust toilets for hours

on end.

- You’ve ever considered digging an escape tunnel from your basement to the

nearest stand of trees.

- You know how to use a vacuum cleaner in reverse to filter air in your

designated bio-chem attack safe room.

- You’ve ever considered buying an above-ground pool for water storage

purposes.

- You know what things like ‘TSHTF’, ‘BOB’ and ‘TEOTWAWKI’ mean.

- You have different grades of BOBs.

- You know the names, family histories, locations, and degree of readiness of

over a thousand fellow doomers on the net… but you’ve never met your

neighbors.

- The best radio in the house is a wind-up.

- You have better items in storage than you use every day.

- When the SHTF, you would eat better than you eat now.

- Your significant other gave you a sleeping bag rated at -15 degrees for

Christmas… and you were moved beyond words.

- You’ve sewn a secret mini-BOBs into the bottom of your children’s school

backpacks.

- Local food pantries have come to depend on donations from your larder when

you rotate stock in the Spring and Fall.

- You’re still using up your Y2K supplies.

- You have enough army surplus equipment to open a store.



- The local army surplus store owner knows you by your first name.

- You fill up when your gas tank is 3/4 full.

- You call Rubber Maid for wholesale prices.

- You have several cases of baby wipes and your kids are all grown.

- Bert from ‘Tremors’ is your favorite movie character.

- You carry a pocket survival kit, a sturdy folding knife, a SureFire flashlight

and a small concealed handgun on you to church every Sunday.

- You start panicking when you are down to 50 rolls of toilet paper.

- You keep a small notebook to write down any edible plants you happen to seealong the road.

- You shop yard sales, store sales, and markdown racks for barter goods for

after TSHTF.

- You own a hand-operated clothes washer and a non-electric carpet sweeper.

- You have at least two of every size of Dutch oven, and 20 bags of charcoal,

although you have a gas grill.

- You have rain barrels at each corner of your house, although you have a citywater hookup, and an AquaRain to purify the water.

- You have sapphire lights, survival whistle, and a Swiss Army knife on every

family member’s key chain.

- The people in line at Costco ask you if you run a store or restaurant.

- You require a shovel to rotate all your preps properly.

- You no longer go the the doctor’s because you can either fix it yourself, make

it at home, or know and understand the Physician’s Desk Reference better

than he does, and can get the goods at the vets or pet store for much less

moolah anyway.

- You know that a ‘GPS’ has nothing to do with the economy.

- You track your preps on a computer spreadsheet for easy reordering, but

have hard copies in a 3-ring binder ‘just in case’.



- You’ve thought about where the hordes can be stopped before entering town.

- You start evaluating people according to ‘skill sets’.

- You view the nearest conservation area as a potential grocery store if TSHTF.

- You know all the ways out the building where you work.

- You have enough pasta stockpiled in your basement to carbo-load all the

runners in the New York marathon.

- You know that you have 36 gallons of extra drinking water in the hot water

tank and your two toilet tanks.

- You know which bugs are edible.

- You have a hand pump on your well.

- You have #10 cans of ‘stuff’ that the labels fell off of, but you won’t throw it

out or open it because it ‘may be needed later’, even though you haven’t a clue

as to the contents.

- You know where the best defensive positions and lines of fire are on your

property.

- You’ve made a range card for your neighborhood.

- Your toenail clipper is a K-Bar.

- The Ranger Handbook is your favorite ‘self help’ book.

- You’ve numbered the deer romping in the yard by their order of consumption.

- You must move 50 cases of food for the plumber to get to that leaky pipe, but

you have your own hand truck in the basement to do it.

- You own more pairs of hiking boots than casual and dress shoes combined.

- You have more 55 gal blue water drums than family members.

- Your UPS system has more than 6 Deep cycle batteries.

- You have a backup generator for your backup generator, which is a backup

for your solar system.



- You go to McDonalds and ask for one order of fries with 25 packs of ketchup

and mustard.

- You have ever given SPAM as a serious gift.

- You’ve had your eye out for a good deal for a stainless steel handgun toconceal in the bottom of the magazine rack next to the toilet.

- You are single male over 40, but you still have an emergency childbirth kit,

just in case you have to deal with that possibility.

- You have two water heaters installed in your basement, but one is a dummy

that’s been converted to a hideaway safe.

- You’ve made bugout cargo packs for your dogs.

- You have a walking stick with all sorts of gadgets hidden inside.

- Your koi pond is stocked with catfish.

- As a stand-in scoutmaster, you taught your son’s troop to set mantraps and

punji pits, and haven’t been asked to stand in since.

- You’re on your fifth vacuum sealer, but you keep at least one of the worn out

ones because you can still seal up plastic bags with it.

- You haven’t bought dried fruit in years, but you buy fresh bananas, apples,

peaches and pears by the case and have three dehydrators.

- Your UPS man hates you because of all the cases of ammo he’s had to lug

from his truck to your front door.

- You have duplicates of all your electronics gear, solar panels and generator

parts in your EMP-shielded fallout shelter.

- You have set aside space for your live chickens in the fallout shelter.

- When the power goes out in your neighborhood, all the neighbors’ kids come

over to your place to watch TV on generator power.

- You must open the door to your pantry very carefully for fear of a canned

goods avalanche.

- You have a ‘Volcano’, you know you can cook anything, and you cast evil

glances at your neighbor’s annoying, yappy poodle, muttering “your day will

come, hotdog” under your breath.



- You’ve learned to knap flint, make twine from plant fibers for snares and use

an atlatl, because you fear that all of your preps and hard work will be

confiscated by FEMA troops or destroyed by earthquakes, tsunamis, nuclear

blasts, ravening hordes of feral sheeple or reptiloids from ‘Planet X’ after

TSHTF.

51562902 you might be a survivalist if

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