Vol. 2, No. 9 THE UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO les, ATERLOO UNIVERSITY COLLEGE, WATERLOO, ONT. January 29,, 1960

EANS DR P AGE ,Y ANN0 i C E NEW FACULTY.

The appointment of Deans for the faculties of science and en- gineering at the University of Waterloo was announced to-day by Dr. J. G. Hagey, President of the University. Bruce W. Kelley has been named Dean of Science and Douglas T. Wright has been appointed Dean of Engineering. Both men served previously as acting deans of the university’s two faculties. Professor Kelley has also been named acting Dean of Arts for the university.

Dean Kelley is the senior mem- ber of the Waterloo faculty. He joined the teaching staff of Wat- erloo College in 1946 and trans- ferred to the University upon its formation last year. He has play- ed a key role in setting up the engineering and science curricula at the university. Prior to war- time service with the R.C.A.F. he taught in the Ontario secondbary school system. Dean Kelley is a graduate of Queen’s University the Ontario College of Education and of the University of Chicago

Dr. Wright, 32, is one of Can- ada’s youngest deans of engineer- ing. A B.A.Sc. gradu,ate of the University of Toronto, he corn. pleted M.S. studies at the Univer

;ity of Illinois and later received lis Ph.D. from the University of Sambridge. He taught civil en- gineering at Queen’s University 3efore coming to the University 3f Waterloo in 1958. An authority .n the field of structural engineer- ng, he has presented some 20 oapers on the subject. He also serves on a number of American 2nd Canadian technical commit- tees which are concerned with structural engineering problems.

Two faculty appointments in the university’s Mechanical En- gineering Department were also announced today. Albert R. Le- Feuvre was named acting Chair- man of the department and Konstant R. Piekarski was ap- pointed an assistant professor in the department. Professor Le- Feuvre joined Waterloo’s Engin- eering Faculty in 1957 and a year later was named Assistant Profes- sor of Mechanical Engineering. He’taught previously at the Uni- versity of Toronto. He holds both a B.A.Sc. and an M.A.Sc. degree from the University of Toronto He is an executive member of tht Kitchener Branch of the Engin- eering Institute of Canada and also serves as faculty student ad-

S

riser for the E.I.C. at the Uni- rersity.

Mr. Piekarski came to Waterloo n 1958 as a member of the Co- ordination Department which counsels the co-operative engin- ?ering students in their industrial Issignments. During World War [I he served as an officer with the Polish Army, and in the Polish underground forces. Discharged n England, he attended London University and was graduated with a Dipl. Eng. degree in 1949.

In the departmem of Civil En- gineering, Charles P. Fisher has been appointed an assistant pro- fessor. He holds the degrees B.A.- SC. and M.A.Sc. from the Univer- sity of Toronto and is a registered Ontario Land Surveyor. After some years with the Otiario De- partment of Highways, he estab- lished a private consulting prac- tice in Civil Engineering.

The appoimment of three lec- turers to the university’s teach- ing staff has also been announced They are: Ronald Eydt, M.Sc., ir botany; James D. Ford, M.A.Sc. in chemical engineering; ant John S. Keeler, B.A.Sc., in elec trical engineering.

Special Conwwation

Monday, February lst, the Uni- versity of Waterloo and Waterloo University College will have the privilege of hearing one of the great A Cappella choirs of the United S.tates. A special Con- vocation is being held at 10 a.m. for all College students to hear the 65-voice Augsburg College Choir from Minneapolis, Minne- sota. The director is Leland B. Sateran, chairman of the school’s Department of Music, who has a rich background in choral music and whose compositions are used by choral groups throughout the United States and Canada.

Its performance at Seagram Stadium is one of four in Canada on a tour which covers Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, On- tario, Michigan, Wisconsin and Minnesota. Sunday, January 3 1 st, the Augsburg Choir .will sing at St, Matthew’s Lutheran Church and St. -Mark’s Lutheran Church, both in Kitchener. On Saturday, January 30th, the Shakespearean Festival Theatre will be opened for a special performance in Stratford.

Mon., Feb. 1 - Augsburg College Choir, Minneapolis, Minn. ( 10 A.M. Stadium 1

Tues., Feb. 2-Harold Brill Semi- nar.

Wed., Feb. 3 -- Rev. Delton J. Glebe, Mount Zion Lutheran Chureh, member Board of Governors. *

Thurs., Feb. 4--Dr. Ulrich S. Leu- pold, Dean of Waterloo Sem.

Friday, Feb. 5 .- Chaplain Martin Dolbeer.

4 ARTS STU

The meeting of the Students’ Legislat,ive Executive was called to order by the president at 7:00 P-m-9 January 19, 1960, in the Board Room. Those present: Carry Morton, Chuck Powers, Garry Caldwell, Paul Creighton, Pablo Machetzki, John Enns, Bruce Lumsden, Larry Cohen, Dr. Durst.

The minutes of the last meet- ing were read and approved.

The next item was the report from the Union Council repre- sentative, Garry Morton. Garry reported that the U.S.C. had lnet for the first time as the students’ council of the University of Wat- erloo the other night. It has yet to draw up a constitution. The whole organization depends on what the ’ S.L.E. is going to do with their own constitution. Therefore, he suggested that the S.L.E. should begin working on their constitution. He also in- formed, the members that each faculty council should appoint a judicial committee. It was moved by Paul Creighton, seconded by Bruce Lumsden that this report be accepted. Carried.

A constitution committee report was then given by the -president He informed the council that the committee had ‘met once before federation, During that meeting they had decided. that, since the only constitution approved by the students and Board of Governor: was the old S.L.E. constitution, il was still legal and could be used until the Board had made its de- cision, Now, federation makes ii necessary for some changes in ouz constitution.. He suggested thal the constitution committee thal

I 1

1 i ,

nad been set up should work ti draw up the new constitution a joon as possible. It was ‘rnovet oy Ga.rry Morton, seconded b; Paul Creighton, that this repor be accepted as information. Car ried.

The new business began with report from the class president: Bruce Lumsden asked that th class presidents inform the stu dents of the Freshmen Formal t be held on February 26. It wa made clear that if a loss was in curred from the dance it wo’ul come out of the reserve func Joan Reesor informed the count that $75 - $86 was made on th sale of Christmas cards. Chuc Powers reported that m’an seniors were not pleased wit their graduation pictures an offered some suggestions. PaL Creighton reported that som profit was made on the Sophc more Formcal.

The following resolutions wer passed with all in favour:

An incident that occurred at dance was brought to the notic of the council. It was recommenc ed that some action be taken t see that such an incident does nc occur again. Moved by Garry Morton, seconded by Bruce Lumsden that ,the executive be authorized to send a letter to the student reprimanding him for his ob~~oxious behaviour. Carried, Moved by Tom Cline, seconded by Paul Creighton that in the future such obnoxious behaviour or any other at any dance shall be re- ported to the S.L.E. by the execu- ti\:e sponsoring the dance and that action will be forthcoming.

A motion was made by Garry

Rev. D. H. Eremer of Muhlenberg College The Witness -Committee of the

Faith and ‘Life Council through .ts chairman, Brian Kirkham, has announced the date and main ;peaker for the annual Religious Emphasis Week to be conducted 3r-i the campuses of the Univer- ;ity of Waterloo and Waterloo University College. The series of programs will be held Monday ;hrdugh Friday, February 22 to 16, on the theme “What is Man?”

Main sp?aker for the week is :he Rev. Dr, David Henry Bremer chaplain since 1952 of .Muhlen- oerg College, Allentown, Penn- sylvania. Born in Spokane, Wash- ngton, 40 years ago, Dr. Bremer is a graduate of Wittenberg Col- lege and Chicago Lutheran Theo- logical Seminary. He received his Ph.D. from Boston University in 1949 in the field of Psychology of Religion and Counseling.

Lutheran Church i n America field of recruitment and guidance of candidates for the ministry and other church vocations. He is a member of the Committee on

Study and Research, Department of the Ministry, National Council of Churches. He holds profession- al membership in the American Psychological Association and the American College Personnel As- sociation. He has contributed numerous articles to Church Pub- lications

Before coming to Muhlenberg College, he served for three years as Associate Secretary of the Board of Education of the United _.--- ---_ -- -.-- ._ --.-.---- -- ---- .~

Morton, seconded by Larry Coh- sn that the class presidents nomi- nate or ask two people from their class to’ serve ,on a Judicial Com- mittee until our new constitution is ready. Students selected are not to be members of the In- vestigation Committee or S.L.E. Names are not published.

Moved by .Paul Creighton,

In addition to the morning pre- sentations by Dr. Bremer Monday through Friday of the week of February 22nd, four evening pro- grams are planned for Monday through Thursday, two to be held in the University Ampitheatre, the other two in the Music Hall of the ‘Arts Building. Speakers for these programs plus the mem- bers of the Panels, which ‘will lead the discussion of each day’s theme, and other details for the week will be given in future is- sues of the Cord Weekly.

_.______. .1 - _.--- -_- --._.- I_--- ------- --

c ommon 00113

Students who frequent the Male Common Room are remind- ed of the regulations stipulated by S.L.E. These regulations .are still in eflect.

seconded by Jim Hales that our, 1. Dishes and trays are not to faculty advisor, Dr. Durst, see 1 ’ be brought into the Common our administration re plowing Room. the road. 2. Use the ash trays provided.

The time and dates of the next ; meetings are 7:00 p.m., February ’

3. Deposit ail waste in the re- ceptacles provided.

2 and 16. ’ Also present at the meeting I

4. Use the tables and chairs in

were Joan Reesor, Tom Cline, j the proper manner.

Margaret Steele, Jim Hales and 5. Conduct yourselves as gen-

the secretary. tlemen.

Moved by Bruce Lumsden, 1 These rules must be <observed seconded by Chuck Powers that / or-steps -will be taken to close the the meeting be adjourned. ’ Common Room.

Page Two January 29, 1960

At the January Filth meeting of the University of Water- loo Students’ Council, definite measures were taken to facili- tate the planning of the University of Waterloo Student Union Building.

The Student Union Building Fund was established by the 1957-58 student body. Each student since, has paid ten dollars per year which is to apply toward this fund.

Jack Buchanan, Gary Morton, and Robert Wyckham met with three members of the Alumni to discuss the organization and the necessary steps to be taken in the planning of the building. It was decided that, initially, a committee should be organized which would function each year, thus assuring continuity in the development of the plans. Contact with other universities as to the nature and the maintenance of their student buildings would also provide valuable informa- tion.

The committee to be appointed for planning will be authorized by the constitution, with certain members serving for more than one year.

Our Alumni has indicated a genuine and much appreci- ated spirit of co-operation. They are willing to sacrifice time and give of their talents to aid us in this venture. It follows naturally that the students should be vitally interested in their investment and therefore give their support and initia- tive if called upon to serve on the planning committee.

Many of us will have graduated by the time the proposed building is in operation. Nevertheless, such a building would be a tribute to the foresight and enterprise of those students responsible for the planning.

Published by the Undergraduate students of the University of Waterloo and Waterloo University College, at the Board of Publications, Room 105, Willison Hall, Waterloo University College. Phone SH. 4-6471. The opinions expressed are those of the editorial and publication staff, and are not official opinions of the Students’ Council, or the Administration, unless otherwise stated.

Editor: HAROLD BREWER Managing Editor: MXKEl WHITEHEAD Sports Editor: GLEN LUDWIG Business Manager: TOM FREURE Sports Columnist: MERRYLL GRAHAM Advertising Mgr.: RON B ERENBAUM Women’s Editor: DALE PERRIN Engineering Editor: RON CHURCH Circulation : HANS HELDRING Typists: VIRGINIA LEON, CAROLYN JOHNSON.

, \ Dear Sir: If the students of this Univer-

sity are not appalled by the lack of serious articles in their publi- cation, the Cord! Weekly, they should be. Such a lack seems to indicate that the students are not interested in what is going on in the world about them, or else they have no opinions worthy of publication. Either case suggests a shameful and dangerous state of mind.

,.

A glance through the publica- tions of other universities reveals an abundance of opinion on inter-. national events, domestic politics, current literature and even book and movie reviews. Such is not the case with the “Cord” and it is most unfortunate.

There is little reason for the existence of this sad state of affairs. Surely the students of this campus have opinions about swastika-dabbers, the new diplo- ‘macy, beatniks, the missile lag, alcohol, sex, and Charles Van Doren. _

Publishing the “Cord” is an expensive proposition. Each edi- tion costs the students $150. This is an extravagant sum to be spending for a bulletin which

. conveys information about club meetings. Granted, weekly con- tributions are made by two or three regular writers, but unless more students demonstrate a willingness to discuss varied topics, the “Cord” will continue to be a high class bulletin board.

’ In many of the countries of the world, students risk persecution in their fight for a FREE PRESS. In this country, and on this cam- pus, we have this freedbm. The unwillingness of students to exer- cise their freedom demonstrates

a lack of maturity not befitting their presumed level of intellect

U.H.! (Editor’s Note: “QUID, ME

VEXARI ??“>

Dear Sir: In a recent edition of the

“Cord”, you published an article entitled, “Can Rockefeller Be- come President” in which I pre- dicted that Nelson Rockefeller would be the next American president. Since that time, Mr. Rockefeller has announced that he would not be a candidate for the Republican nomination.

To the various individuals whc approach me with a triumphant smirk on their lips, and sarcastic- ally ask if I still think Rocke- feller will be president, I can only suggest that they get off their

The purpose of thig article was

brains and put THEIR opinions

not to establish myself as a po- litical prophet. My qualifications

in print.

for such an avocation are modest indeed. It was my intention to stimulate an interest in the American Presidential race and politics in general. I have reason to believe that 11 was successful in doing this. On several occa- sions, while sitting around a din- ner table, the topic of conversa- tion has turned to my article and a heated but informative ex- change of opinion has followed, These incidents have assured me thlat my time was not w&ted in writing the article.

Ron Berenbaum. (Editor’s Note: Thank you, Mr,

Berenbaum, for your letter. Your last paragraph, ,although it blunt- ly puts the point forward, is a definite challenge to the “Coffee house” (Torque Room) critics.)

THE BARN RESTAURANT

299 King St. West KITCHENER

VOX LIBORUM . CHEER UP’AND READ THESE

Now that exams are over for a little while and you are able to take a deep breath, would you like to read some books with a chuckle in them? These are not new books; you may have already made their acquaintance. Here is one for the harried business student. It is called “How to Run 3 Bassoon Factory or Business Explained and Business for Fleas- ure,” by a mythical author, Mark Spade. There is an appreciation Df the late Mr. Spade by Nigel Balchin. It seems that Mr. Spade has come to a sticky end as the result of a disagreement with a foreman over a large adjustable wrench. Nigel Balchin appreciates Mr. Spade tenderly because, after all, he is Mr. Balchin’s brain- child. \

The preliminary notice makes several relevant remarks about going into business. “Nowadays, when being in beer is the first step to a baronetcy, making mo- tors the straight path to a mar- quisate, and peddling patent medicines a qualification for the peerage, there is no reason why

any one of us who is tired of working for a living, should hesi- tate to go into business and make a few millions.”

Then Mr. Spade launches into a careful exposition of how to, set up your bassoon factory. He be- gins with hints on finance (Above all, avoid debentures) and ends with “Latle aids to efficiency”. You may gather some idea of the weight and value of the informa- tion imparted from the last piece of advice, “Intermix your study of these pages with a few light- hearted moments with the Hand- book of Business Administr,ation”.

ct. Northcote Parkinson is a British professor who has achiev- ed immortality by the statement of his Law in the book called

Parkinson’s Law pr The Pursuit of Progress. The Law may be stated in words quite simply thus, “Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion”. This Law may also be stated, not at all simply, by an arithmetic, geometric, algebraic, chemical formula, thus 1010(2km- 1:) %.. Mr.

Parkinson claims that he and his staff have spent thousands of man-hours gathering scientific data and conducting secret ex- periments for this book. Two of the essays, “Personality Screen or the Cocktail Formula”*and “High Finance or the Point of Vanishing Interest” find the reader think- ing, why that’s very true. Is it possible that Mr. Parkinson’s view of the world is the true view? The illustrations made by Osbert Lancaster add immeasur- ably to the understanding of the text.

C. Northcote Parkinson has completed a new book containing a new law which will be publish- ed next month by Houghton Mifflin of Boston. The title of the new book is The Llaw and the Profit. Parkinson’s 2nd Law is “Expenditure rises to meet in- come.” This Law may explain why a man may go bankrupt by merely getting a raise.

To finish off, I give you “An Anthology of Satire, Invective and Disrespectful Verse Chiefly by Canadian Writers” in a volume titled The Blasted Fine. The Dis- respectful Verse was selected, arranged and introduced by F. R. Scott and A. J. M. Smith. All the verse included is by no means poetr,y, but doggerel and ditty are forgiven in the name of satire. The role of satire is to correct vice and our vice is smugness and self-satisfaction. Therefore read The Blasted Pine, chuckle a chuckle and be corrected.

Fi

zOI$TH (Smith)

- Q, J, 5, 4 f? -A, - A, 9. K, 8 4, 3, 2

r:Sz (gRo,=nqbe;g 1 BAST (Jones)

E-9* - A’ 8: 3’

’ S-K, 9, 5

D H - - void Q, J, 8, 6 c- 7, 5, 2 C - Q, J,

10, 6, 10, 4, 3 SGsmQ (p6m3) Dealer

-

DH - It, io, $, 7, 6, 2 -7, 5

C-K EAST - WEST VULNERABLE

EFH Z!ET TJERTH EgT

pj % ZE Pass 4 N.T.

Pass Pass Double Opening lead: 9D

During the holidays, I decided to play a little rubber bridge at the Bridge Studio in Hamilton. When I arrived, three gentlemen, Mr. Smith, Mr. Jones, and Mr. Brown, asked if I would join them in a game. I sat down and this was the first hand which I picked up.

The bidding deserves a little comment. North and South reach- ed four hearts on routine and conservative bidding, when my partner, Mr. Jones decided to bid four N.T. This four N.T. is the unusual aspect of this hand. It meant that Mr. Jones wanted me to bid either of the unbid suits depending on which one was my best. Of course in this instance he was wrong in bidding it. But before I could answer him, Mr. Brown bid five hearts which I couldn’t quite understand. Al- though I almost doubled at this point (on my partner’s strength and my .two Aces) I decided to pass. North passed and then my partner doubled. Where and what he doubled on was beyond my comprehension. I decided that his double called for a lead of the

By MORL,EY ROSENBERG

first bid suit of dummy, which was diamonds. Since I only had a singleton I was very happy about the whole situation.

When dummy came down, I nearly collapsed. South took dummy’s Ace of diamonds and promptly played a small heart. (Actually he should have played the ten of spades first). I went up with my Ace of hearts and sat back and looked at my partner.

I was on lead with one trick in and two more to take, inI order to defeat the contract. I could see the Ace of spades as one trick but where was the other one. I decided that my partner must have a trick somewhere or he wouldn’t have doubled.

My partner, Mr. Jones, must either have the King of clubs or the King of spades. The only way we could defeat the con- tract was to get a diamond1 ruff on the lead back from my part- ner’s hand, I had to get into his hand. The Ace of clubs was staring me in the face and I de- cided to underlead my Ace of spades! (With only one spade in dummy). I led the four of spades and East put on the King. I think he was more surprised than any- one to see it capture the trick. Then he led back a diamond which I ruffed and we set the contract dlown one trick.

After the hand was over I ask- ed Mr. Jones why he decided to double, (since I had taken two of the three necessary tricks). He said that he had a feeling thaft on the sequence of bidding by North and South, that they couldn’t have made the hand. As a result I don’t play with strangers in rubber matches.

I wonder if the professors have as much fun marking essays as we have writing them?

Apparently one of the senior girls’ residents spent an evening contemplating the evils of locked doors. Anyone have extra keys?

Two girls have left Conrad Hall. Does apartment life solve the problem?

I haven’t had any comments on the last issue of the Cord . . . I must be gettinlg soft!

The weather and school spirit have something in common . . . both are soggy and sickening.

Too bad more people don’t patronize the local pubs! Ap- parently more philoso,phical and social problems are solved over those little round tables than over the smooth desks of lecture rooms.

CUEIS FROM CONRAD An innovation in Room 5, a

very picturesque clothesline, addIs much to the decor and proved itself extremely useful when a certain resident came home drip- ping wet. As there was no evi- dence of rain on that fateful day, we are wondering what mishap (or conspiracy) produced the drenched appearance.

All the unfortunates whose birthdays occur during the sum- mer vacation are transferring their dates to a more suitable time during the school term in order to merit one of our house- mother’s delicious cakes. How- ever, we still haven’t decided whether birthdays celebrated in this manner are belated or ad- vanced, and it does cause some controversy in determining the number of candles.

Many newly acquired bruises are due to a well-iced and fre- quently used slide behind the dorm. Also in the line of winter sports is the competition between residents of Conrad and the neighbouring dorm for the privil- ege of shovelling the sidewalk.

Little Miss Muffet Decided to rough it In the midst of a forest prim-

ewal,

A rounder espied her And plied her with cider And now she’s the forest’s

prime evil.

JESSOP & WHALEY CLEANERS

Shirt Launderers

28 Bridgeport Rd. 79 King St. S.

WATERLOO

41 Ontario St. N. KITCHENER

- 1 HOUR SERVICE -

WHITE ROSE INN

188 KING ST. N.

(Opposite Bricker)

Now O,pen Under New

Management, Hours: 8 A.M. - 11 P.M.

Family Style Sunday

Dinner 12 Noon - 7 P.M.

lonu&y 29, 1960 Poge Three

EeZ8toriaZ, l l

Whether you are aware of it or not the Summer-Winter Quarter of engineers is back. We would like to welcome all our freshmen to the University of Waterloo and thank them for their co-operation during the initiations. We hope you met and got to know your classmates, surroundings, slide- rules, seniors, nurses’ residences, and the YWCA. (Don’t ask US how you meet a slide-rule or a surrounding). Seriously, without initiations, to accomplish all this would have taken you at least a month and in this course a month means every- thing. We sincerely hope that you grasped the basic purpose behind initiations and most of all that you had a lot of fun.

The initiations were only marred by one incident. The gym, which had been reserved for weeks in advance by the engineers for the “Freshmen Court”, was not relinquished by Mr. Totzke in time for said event to be held. Strange, it also seems that Mr. Totzke was never around in the summer quarter when he was needed.

We would also like to congratulate the forty odd (and we mean just that) engineers who have been here since July, 1959, without a break. Hang on, fellows, only two more

’ months. As probably most of the senior students know, the Sum-

mer - Winter Quarter has published “Enginews” as a separate newspaper for the last three terms. In fact, the last time we wrote for a combined Arts - Engineering publication was back in the school year of 1957-58 (if you can remember that far back). We have been asked many questions why the “Enginews”, in those days a publication of five to nine pages, is not being published separately this term. There are many reasons for the amalgamation of the two publications. Now that the question of federation finally seems to be settled, we feel that a University paper might benefit both institutions. We hope that this paper will acquire such a nature. The circulation and thus the power of the voice of the students will be increased. To please everybody, “Enginews” will have its own section so as not to lose its individuality. The “En- ginew s” staff will be kept intact as we cannot work on the same schedule as the “Cord Weekly” staff, the chief reason being the nature of our course. We hope that you will give us your opinion (either for or against) on the amalgamation. These may be in the form of “Letters to the Editor, Enginews”.

In closing, we would like to say that the “Enginews” is a publication of the non-denominational University of Water- loo and is responsible only to the above mentioned institution, along with the Editorial Board, for articles printed therein.

Jack Kruuv, Editor of Enginews.

ENGINEWS STAFF’ Editor: JACK KRUUV Assistant Editor: HARRY JOHNSON Sports Editor: DON HAGEY Photography Editor: MCPKE McBIRNIE A.rt Editor: LIZS KANE: Circulation: JOE ESKRITT

Staff Writers: THEODORE RUSHTON, LEONARD NOBLEMAN, W. R. (Bill) GREEN

Why I Like Tina Louise

Anyone wishing to contribute anything to “Enginews” like ar- ticles, pictures, jokes, money, phone numbers, suggestions, cri- ticism, scientific news, opinions, gossip, announcements, sadism, etc., may do so by putting their contribution in the mailslot marked “Enginews” in the mail- box on the second. floor of the Physics building. Anyone wish- ing to work on. the “En’ginews” staff may also do so (please, pretty please, do so) by getting in touch with the editor or your class rep. Would the members of the present staff watch the bul- letin board for the next meeting of the “Enginews” staff.

As you can see this article has nothing to do with Tina Louise; we only wanted you to read this article. Actually we don’t like Tina Louise at all; we like Doris Day.

Do Not Read This Column

As the headikg states do not read this column unless you are interested in having the time of your life. This term the biggest and best Billionaires“ Weekend ever encountered since the evo- lution of mankind is being plan- ned by the Engineering Society. Activities will commence on Fri- day the 4th of March with a challenge basketball game against the University College. After this bloody encounter, the evening will be rounded out by an en- lightening record orgy.

Saturday evening (March 5) will bring to light the “Grey and Gold Ball”. The highlight of the evening will be the crowning oJ “Miss Engineer 1969”-a spec-

tacle not to be outdone by the second rate “Miss Universe Con test”. All those in attendance car be assured of a delightful ant edible evening depending on the nature of their date.

H. R. JOHNSO&

What it looked like from the freshmen What it looked like from the senior’s viewpoint. viewpoink

’ I Potronize

Your Nearest Sports Goods Dealer

Less 20% to Students

ELIZABETH’S RESTAURANT

Where the COI lege Crowd Meet to Eat

38 King St. N. - Waterloo (Across from the Post Office)

Swan Cleaners: limited

FOR THE FINEST IN ~ DRY CLEANING

AND SHIRT LAUNDERING

239 King St. N. Waterloo

INITIATION OF THE LOOFES

Initiation is defined by Webster LS the rites, ceremonies, ordeals, )r instructions with which one s made a member of a sect or Fociety. During the LOOFES in- tiation we tend to stress the in- ‘ormative or functional aspect of he initiation while at the same ime we are forming the rites or ceremonies for future generations If engineering students at the Jniversity of Waterloo. The In- tiation got its start on Tuesday afternoon when Jack Kruuv con- lucted a slide-rule course with lis pocket slide-rule (6 ft. by ! ft.). All was running smoothly until, some joker producer a cir- ular slide-rule. (Jack is still run- iing around in circles) I would ike to suggest at this point that iext year we have a set of slide- ule notes run off and handed out.

am suggesting this for two reas- Ins; one is that a slide-rule can )e a very functional tool in engin- :ering and secondly, there are ‘ellows in third year who can mly multiply and divide with hem. (of course their excuse is hat as soon as we have the com- jutor, slide-rules will become obsolete).

Later on in the same evening #he LOOFES were separated into imall colourful groups and taken n hand by their task-masters. [“he reason for this division was ,o. acquaint the LOCFES with )ther students who were not in .heir own section and to make he groups easier to handle. I also have another suggestion for lext year: how about breaking ;he LOOFES down into groups of me with ten big brothers to ;upervise his activities? This sug- zestion is the result of one of the groups turning on their likeable, lenevolent and gracious task- naster (and I still have the Druises to prove it). The tasks were of an assorted variety (?) such as shovelling out drive- ways; pushing Big Brother’s car (since he wanted to save gas) ; stapling old exam papers togeth- er; (incidentally they will soon be on sale at two-bits a set, I think?) ; and serenading Willison Hall or was it Conrad-1 forget,

On Wednesday night things really got underway with a tug-

of-war and a game of dodge the ball otherwise known as “who threw that shot-put at me”. *This was followed by a ride into Kit- chener on the bus. Tallk about sardines! Have you seen 12,O people in a bus that was made to carry 46 or 5O? Well, then you will have some idea what it was like.

Upon our arrival in Kitchener we disembarked from the bus and formed orderly(?) ranks of two and marched d*own Kinlg Street. After several choruses of that famous choral piece “The Engin- eering Hymn” we switched to spirited marching songs such as “Bridge of the River Kwai” and “Ma I want to be an artsman well son your censored censored fool”. The LOO,FES ended their trek at the YMCA-or was it the YWCA -well, there was a dance anyway and several of the LOOFESI filled up their Kitchener blackbooks for future reference.

The next. night we”h&%Te Kangaroo Court and the LOOFES were severely(?) punished for their crimes of disobediance as they had been threatened they would be all week. This mayhem was followed by. a big(?) dance in Seagram’s Gym-or was it Carling’s Brewery?

On the whole the Initiation fol- l)owed the functional pattern that our Summer-Winter quarter has chosen in the past. The main requirements that had to be met by the LOOFES, were the wearing of the traditional mgineering hat and the wearing of signs pro- claiming to all that they were LOOFES and proud of it. Their names also appeared on the signs to help them get acquainted with each other and to facilitate our handling of them. The ZOGFES were also required to carry slide rules at all times and to be! able to use them on command from any senior.

Well that just about raps up the initiations and I hope that all of you en joyed yourselves (includ- ing the instigators of the petitions, etc.) and that you will be on hand next January to help out with our next imtiation.

W. ‘R. (Bill) Green

My Waterloo This column will attempt to be

a bi-occasionally production of anecdotes, jokes, and useful (? ) information.

To get the term off to a good start I have a little gem of in- formation for all you students who find a slide-rule inaccurate and wish a more exact answer. The information is this,

Pi. to 110 decimal places. Well, here we go: 3,.141159,26535;89793,-

23846,62643,383#217,95028,84197,- 16939,9375,1,05820,9~7494,45923,- 07816,40628,6,2089,98628,03482,-

53421,17067,98214,80865. I also have a comment on the

Engineering Society Book Store. Have you ever gone over there during the listed open hours and found it closed? Is that what’s bothering you, boy? Well, the solution is simple, just go there during the unposted hours.

By the way I hear that the “Governor” is offering a slightly used “do-it-yourself” barber kit at a real bargain price. (His wife insists he give it away)..

The grape-vine has it rumoured that the Engineering Week-end will be held on the 4th and 5th of March. It is also rumoured that the Engineers have gracious- ly offered to defend the champion ship they won last year in basket-

ball over the (boo) arts students. If this does come about it will be held on the night of the 4th of March. Perhaps “Terrible Tom Troughton” will attempt to re- coup his victory of last winter and coach the “Terrors” again.

One professor attempting to teach some engineering scholars classical algebra said “If some enterprising Greek of ancient Greece was offering 2 togas at the ridiculously low price of 36 denarii how much would 1 toga Cost?” The student who answered must have been a relative of “Honest Ed” for he answered: “35 denarii since it was a one denarius sale”.

Well if the grout doesn’t catch iguanodon and the interfluve isn’t follo’wing the leibnitz rule you will hear from me again.

Will any student who brought records to the “Bermuda Bop” last summer and came away with a Johnlny Mathis record “Warm” instead of their own record by Les and Larry Elgar-t please get in contact with George Newton, or Ross Clark or anyone else con- nected with the Engineering So- ciety about getting their record back.

W. R. (Bill) GREEN

Page Four January 29, 1960 I

Now that we have all decided to become one big happy family, perhaps it will be possible for us to enter into sports activities in the intercollegiate field on a larger scale. This will probably be as slow in coming as federa- tion itself was, but at least there are possibilities.

As it stands now most of the participants in sports come from the Arts faculty. There are a few participants from the boys down below but there aren’t any cam- pus teams as such. Too much sup- port comes from one faculty.

The picture may be different, The engineering faculty is be- coming larger all the time and if they become as active as they are vociferous then they will contribute a great deal to, the intercollegiate scene. With the entrance of St. Jerome’s there should be some strong support add.ed. The boys there seem to be good athletes and will help out if they become interested in the University Activities.

All in all, next year should prove to be a better year sports-

wise. There is a good chance that some better organized inter- faculty competition will spring up*

On a less happy note it is rather disconcerting to go down to the curling rink on Tuesday night and find only six to twelve par- ticipants. Earlier this year a schedule was drawa up of those who signed for curling; but since then it has been given very little support by the enthusiasts, who felt they would like some good fun and exercise.

It is true that curling does con- flict with bowling but even those who are not doing the latter and have .signed for curling are not coming out. It is also true that the nitwits who have a habit of signing false names to lists have made it impossible to draw up an accurate schedule. However, there was an effort made and these organizers should be re- warded in some way. Let’s get out to the Granite Club if you have signed up. If we are not careful we could lose the ice time to some other organization.

gathered comments on this topic: This week, *your roving reporter

“1999 A.D. What is your com- ment?”

Art Pollack: “I hope to be out of Waterloo University.” (There is a possibility, Mr. Pollack, that you may be out much sooner).

national pastime.” John Erb: “Fencing will be the

(Sign up for lessons now! See John.)

John Horman: “It was a rough year.”

Al Emerson: “The best brains of science will be devoted to per- f ecting superhuman athletes. Scientists will develop 8 foot basketball players, and 300 pound linemen who can run 100 yards in 9 seconds.”

(Mr. Emerson has volunteered himself as a subject in these ex- periments.)

Herbert Epp: “The Federal Lib- eral Party will have completed 37 years of prosperous and in- telligent government after win- ning the 1962 election.”

(Mr. Epp is the unbiased presi- dent of the Politics Club.)

Gary Morton: “In view of the overwhelming victory of the CCF party in the mock parliament held at the University of Toronto, I see a socialist government in the nation’s Capital.”

(Mr. Epp and Mr. Morton will duel, with cupcakes at ‘thirty paces.)

(Always look to the future, John.)

Martin Onrot: “I am a pessim- ist, 1999 will definitely mark the end of the twen,tieth century.”

(What will happen to Walter Cronkite? )

John Schiel (Honours Psycho- logy) “Psychologists will run the world and we will have a govern- ment that is SANE! SANE! SANE!”

Larry Cohen: “The world will be divided into four countries which will live peacefully to- gether. They will be called East Russia, West Russia, North Russia and South Russia.”

(Thank you, Comrade Cohen.) Charlie ,Tindall: “I predict it.

will be a great year for oligo- polists.”

(So what, Charlie.) Nora Schedler: “I figure my

pills should have worked by then.”

(Torque Room)

Tuesday night the Waterloo College girls’ basketball team played a close and fast game at London. The score was 40-39 for Western. The first half started ofl slow as the forward line of Joan Rennie, Joan Reesor and Donna Kelly took a little time to gel their plays going. But in spite of this slow start and constant calls of “guarding too close”, the girls fought for a close score and lost by only one point. The second half was actually a victory in plays and score for Waterloo. The close guarding of Dale Perrin, M.arg Steele, Carole Dietrich and Joanne Roberts kept the opposi- tion from scoring and ,kept the ball in the hands of the forward line. High scorer for the game was Kelly with 18 points.

The girls had tremendous spirit and really deserved to win the game. A continuation of this type of play should result in a success- ful season for the team. ’

I?. Ft. Broadfoot

The Waterloo Mules played host to the league leading Ryer- son hockey club January 14, and no out-of-town team could expect m o r e gracious, condescending treatment! We will be very coy and reserve and forget (accident- ally) to mention the score. It was considerable!

Since the brand of hockey is not noteworthy we will proceed to mention a few of the aside incidents and try to place the actual outcome of the game into oblivion. (I am being paid hand- somely by the team to do this)

The club’s leading contender for the Golden Gloves Crown, namely Bill Wieller, had another fast work-out in the second per- iod as he won a decision over his Ryerson opponent. The crowd at last had something to cheer about and they gave Bill a standing ovation as the warrior proudly skated to the penalty box in regular Fontinato style, Coach Rafferty was strangely quiet as he mentally calculated the number of goals that Ryerson had scored when the team wasn’t shorthand- ed.

Another amusing incident hap- pened in the third period as a “likeable” chap named Kruzel sroused the wrath of the fans as

, he calmly skated to the penalty box waving his stick in ah up and down motion to the booing group of Waterlooins. Needless to say he was telling the group in well

) known sign language just what i he thought of them and where

they could go. The crowd scream-

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ed their appreciation by noting his most distinguishing character- istic and for the rest of the game “greaseball” was the apple of their eye. Unfortunately grease- ball’s head was sandwiched be- tween the boards and Bernie Fransen’s gloves and he made his shaky exit a few minutes before the end of the match.

The vocal support of the fans was great and even though they had to look long and hard to find anything to cheer about everybody seemed to have a good night (except the team). Bob Rafferty had one good quote as the team moved out of the dress- ing room for the final session- “OK ladies, ‘let’s go”.

;:

By SlNBAD BRITTLE Previous issues of this paper a great method of telling female

have contained, among other things, articles analysing char-

character-the whole truth is in

acter by a method known as their lipstick stains; Below is a

Grapho-Analysis. After much re- reprint of a stain taken from the

search and pleasure, (more pleas- collar of Jim N.‘s wash-and-dry- ure than research) Sinbad Brittle on-a-hanger-in-the- closet - white and Co. Ltd. have come up with shirt; an analysis follows:

The stain proves the girl had normal lips; one at the top and one at the bottom. The imprint slopes from right to left; this could mean many things but most important is the fact that her shoulders are pro.bably at the same angle. This could mean she had a paper route as a child or that she carries her wallet, which is loaded, in her left hand pocket, Her mother may have been a Tibetan Sherpa; had our subject been born on a Himalayan moun- tain side the gradual slope of the stain is explained. Or take the obvious view, the girl was stinko!

The outline of the upper lip forms a perfect moustache, prov- ing that this girl was once an active member of the CO.T.C., but the lower outline shows that this moustache sagged miserably during wet weather thereby ex- plaining j why our subject was

forced to resign from the corps The black mark on the lower

left hand side seems to suggest that this girl was smoking while osculating, surely an unusual pro- cedure. (This was verified by a check with Jim N. A small con- centric burn is visible both in his shirt and in his neck. That he felt no physical pain seems to suggest he was also stinko.)

How accurate were these gues- ses? The young lady in question supplied us with the correct in- formation, which is; The Slope- the girl has a broken neck; the contour of the upper lip-her ancestors used crossbows at the third Crusade; the black mark- inherited from her mother who’ sold hotdogs at Gettysburg, and burnt her lip on a really hot one.

This column originated in a psychiatrist’s office.

CLUB NOTICES

At the general meeting next ’ PHI nElTil PI Sunday, January 31, Newman I Club members are giving a Panel 1 Discussion: All Forms of Censor- j

Don’t miss the

ship Should be Abolished. Some 1 very definite views against Cen- j SPAGHETTI DINNER sorship have been -stated, so this 1 discussion should prove rather i t in the Torque Room interesting. Questions welcomed from the floor. Sunday, Newmanites!

will be See you

at 5:30

on February Fourth

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