7. outline interpersonal comm
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InterpersonalCommunication
Communication &Connection
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Defning Interpersonal Communication
Consider these 2 words:
Interpersonal between people
Personal directed to / reecting a particularperson (expersonal touch! greeting"
#hat are the similarities/di$erences in what eachdescribes% &re all o' our interpersonal actions personal%
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Defning Interpersonal Communication:uantitati)e &pproach
Interpersonal comm (uantitati)e" 2 person! 'ace to 'acecommunication
Dichotomous perspecti)e
*ass communication as opposite interpersonal
&lso +nown as dyadiccommunicationd,ad: a set o' two people
-imiting issues :
.ot all 2person communication is the same (we dont
communication the same wa, with a relati)e stranger and a close'riend"
0ech ad)ances ha)e impacted 'aceto'ace primac,
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Defning Interpersonal Communication:ualitati)e &pproach
Interpersonal comm (ualitati)e": communication based onrecognition o' communicators as uni1ue indi)iduals
Relationalcomm emphasi3es the inuence o' relationships oncomm
Dialectical distinctiontrul, interpersonal comm built up o)er time
Impersonal comm as opposite o' interpersonal comm
4e)iew discussion o' *iller 5 6teinbergs socialcogniti)e orientation'ramewor+ in the Readingstext 'or in'o on how such recognition
occurs
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Defning Interpersonal Communication:#hich &pproach%
#ell emphasi3e relational/1ualitati)e! butboth approaches are use'ul:
ual explores the impact o' relationships oncomm and importance o' comm process inrelationships
uant examines an important context o' comm!especiall, in relationships
6ee discussion in the Readingstext
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4elationships 5 7uman Comm:Inextricabl, -in+ed
4elationships are one o' the most signifcantbeha)ioral inuences:
*a+e li'e meaning'ul! dri)e our interactions withothers! essential to our personal and practicalgoals
Communicationis the 'undamental relationalprocess! crucial to initiating! de)eloping! and
maintaining relationships
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Communication 5 6el'8nowledge
9ur sense o' identit, is the basis o' our interactions with others
6el'concept: relati)el, stable set o' perceptions we hold aboutoursel)es defning who we are ;ormed )ia < communicationprocesses:
4eected appraisal 7ow we percei)e that others (specifc and general"see us based on their words and actions
6ocial comparison Comparison o' sel' to others (4e'erent is +e,"
Cultural *essages baselines/)alues used in defning sel' deri)ed 'romcultural inuences Can originate 'rom interpersonal or mass media sources
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Communication and 6el'
6el'Disclosureprocess b, which we share in'owith others about oursel)es that the, would nototherwise +now
Intentional acts! not in'erence
0ruth'ul in'ormation
Primaril, )erbal (but can occasionall, b, .="
Inuenced b, context and social / cultural norms
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Communication and 6el'
6D is +e, to building! de)eloping! 5 maintaining relationships
7ow we allow others to get +now us
&lso how we get to +now them 6D is reciprocal:
Norm of reciprocity disclosure begets disclosure 0elling others about oursel)es prompts them to
do the same
Dyadiceectdisclosure responses tend to be at the same general le)el o' intimac, as initialdisclosure
6D changes in nature in a de)eloped relationship! but it is still essential >?arometero' relational health @ shows continued interest
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Communication and 6el'
<man 5 0a,lorAs 6ocial Penetration *odel6el' disclosurerepresented b,
Depth:
7ow deepl, is agi)en areaexplored%
?readth:7ow man,di$erentareas are
explored /re)ealed%
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Communication and 6el'
Bohari windowcategori3es in'o about thesel' based on awareness
9pen ?lind
7idden n+nown
8nown to others
.ot 8nown to others
.ot +nown to sel'8nown to sel'
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Communication 5 ;orming 4elationships
*an, 'actors can ser)e as a catal,st 'or'orming a relationship
*ost are tied to or re)ealed )ia communication
&ll 'actors not alwa,s necessar, @ some ma,e)en be contradictor,
6pecifc e)aluations o' each are fltered b,
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Communication 5 ;orming 4elationships
6imilarit,6imilarit, thesis: we tend to -i+e and 'orm relationships with those we percei)e as
similar
2 +e, t,pes: &ttitudinal and social pre'erence similarit,
&ppearance
9'ten most important in initial stages (fltering"
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Communication 5 ;orming 4elationships
Proximit,
&)ailablit, o' the people we interact with
4eciprocit,/li+ing
0endenc, to reciprocate li+ing 'rom others (within limits"
=alidation o' 'eelings important in building emotional
connection
Competenc,
#e li+e to be around competent people
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Communication 5 ;orming 4elationships
Complementarit,/Di$erenceoppositesattract when:
Di$erences are complementary each part,scharacteristics satis', the others needs / wea+nesses andeach part, )alues / accepts the di$erence
enerall,! o)er the long term complementar, di$erencesare benefcial but extreme ones tend to be detrimental
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Communication 5 ;orming 4elationships
6ocial exchange
E)aluation o' cost / reward @ relationships maximi3ingreward )s cost are attracti)e
*a, seem cold! but its normal! especiall, 'or certaint,pes o' relationships (eg business"
E1uit,/e1uilibrium important o)er long term
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;orming 4elationships: Initial Interactions
Duc+s ;iltering theor,in initial interactions! se)eral >flters areprogressi)el, applied
F 6ociological/Incidentalcues demographic or en)ironmental 'actors(ex ra)itating towards ,our own >crowd"
2 Preinteraction cues assumptions about others interest orcharacter! t,picall, based on non)erbal beha)ior (ex E,e contact"
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Communication in ?uilding 5 *aintaining4elationships
Conictan expressed struggle between at leasttwo interdependent parties who percei)eincompatible goals! scarce rewards and inter'erence
'rom another part, in obtaining their goal (#ilmot"
Can be 'unctional or d,s'unctional
4e)iew the discussion o' 0ut3auers wor+ in &d)ancingComm 6cience box in Readingschapter 'or an interestingapproach to modeling conict
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Communication in ?uilding 5 *aintaining4elationships
4elational Dialectics(?axter4awlins"relationshipsstruggle with opposing and continual tensions
9penness/closedness how much is shared )s pri)ate in
a relationship%
&utonom,/connection how much indi)idual character!
time! and 'reedom shared or subsumed%
.o)elt,/predictabilit, how do partners +eep things newand exciting but 'amiliar and consistent%
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Communication in Building andMaintaining Relationships
-istening @ 4e)iew the discussion in the
chapter
Distinct 'orm hearing! elements
@ 4ecei)ing @ sensor, input
@ &ttending @ de)oting attention! cogniti)e resources
@ nderstanding @ processing in'o in context
@ 4esponding @ )erbal and non)erbal responses during /
a'ter
@ 4ecalling @ in'o 'rom listening o'ten rele)ant in 'uture
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8napp *odel o' 4elational De)elopment
Describes a relationship as aseries o' stages!emphasi3ing comm
Coming Together :
Initiating the beginnings o' a
relationship
Experimentingparties learnabout each other! identi',commonalities
7igh le)els o' phatic communication
Initiating
Experimenting
Intensi',ingIntegrating
?onding
Di$erentiating
Circumscribing
6tagnating
&)oiding
0erminating
Coming
0ogether
Coming&part
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8napp *odel o' 4elational De)elopment
Intensi',ing increasedcommitment and disclosure!and emotional in)estmentHstart o' >we thin+ing
Integrating social circlesmergeH others )iew as acouple
?onding public >ritualsthat legitimi3e relationships
Initiating
Experimenting
IntensifyingIntegrating
Bonding
Di$erentiating
Circumscribing
6tagnating
&)oiding
0erminating
Coming
0ogether
Coming&part
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8napp *odel o' 4elational De)elopment
Coming Apart:
Di$erentiatingemergence o' indi)idual
di$erences @ identities!priorities! )alues! etc
8e, 6tage
Circumscribingcommunications becomes
restricted (topic/amount"
Initiating
Experimenting
Intensi',ingIntegrating
?onding
Dierentiating
Circumscribing
6tagnating
&)oiding
0erminating
Coming
0ogether
Coming&part
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8napp *odel o' 4elational De)elopment
6tagnating in're1uentcommunication! t,picall,rituali3ed andinsignifcant
&)oiding partnersa)oid each other @ph,sicall, andemotionall,
0erminatingrelationshipends and parties come toterms with it (not alwa,smutuall,
Initiating
Experimenting
Intensi',ingIntegrating
?onding
Di$erentiating
Circumscribing
Stagnating
Avoiding
Terminating
Coming
0ogether
Coming&part
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4elational Dissolution: 4eadings
& more detailed discussion o' relational dissolutioncan be 'ound in the Readingstext ?e sure tore)iew these sections in the interpersonal chapter:
Cod,s disengagement strategies
Duc+s model o' relational dissolution
0he >coming apart portion o' the 8napp model