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November 14, 2016
96th NC AWWA-WEA ANNUAL CONFERENCEHow to Develop, Grow and Strengthen Business Relationships
John W. McLaughlin, P.E. (N.C., S.C.)
MERRICK & COMPANYor ……..“Building Relationships – Tips, Tricks and Tools of the Trade”
Who Am I?
My Background Lived in Charlotte area for >40 years
Project Engineer, Project Manager, Operations Leader, Seller-Doer
Dale Carnegie 12-Week Course Graduate
Business Social Seminars
Community Organizing Leader
Multiple Internal Leadership and Business Development/Relationship Management Courses
Background
Background What are business relationships? Friendships that happen to involve business
Why are they important? Who do people like to work with?
The value of the one on one Issues come and go, relationship lasts
Some specific tools and techniques to facilitate the relationship building process. More on this. You can’t fake this - This isn’t some sort of mercenary
attempt for business purposes only. Life’s too short…..
Relationship Friendship
Relationship Trust
Background
Personalities What is your personality type?
There are many methods, I prefer DISC, aka: D = Dominant, Driver – take charge, direct answers
I = Influential, Expressive – verbalizes, happy in a group
S = Steady, Amiable – inclusion, calming, status quo
C = Conscientious, Analytical – wants details, “why” questions
How many of you know your type? Is it Good, Bad? I’m an “S”, what’s that mean?
Why is this important? First step, understand your personality, your strengths and your
areas for improvement, we all have them
Next, understand the other person’s personality
And finally (your real goal), adapt your style to fit the other person
Ultimately, better communication and relationships with others
Specific Tools and Techniques
Why are you here at this conference (B.S.)? This is likely being paid for by your employer,
and/or has a business purpose (Business)
And there are multiple social gatherings/mix and mingles/break-outs/one-on-one opportunities (Social) Hence the term Business Social, or B.S.
Background, where this came from
Some basic rules of B.S. Name Tags – Where, why?
Shake hands, drink, eat, talk – There is a limit.
Topics that are good to discuss (see more later)
Specific Tools and Techniques
Business Social (B.S.) - basics continued How to efficiently survey the room Where to enter
Where to stand, and why
And once you’ve surveyed…..
Joining an existing conversation (body language) Group of two
Group of three
Group of six or more
And now the other rules enter the discussion
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Specific Tools and Techniques
The Dale Carnegie Course Lookup “Dale Carnegie’s Golden Book” One of the first sessions in the course – Recall
and Use Of Names Rule No. 6 “A person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest
and most important sound in any language.” Numerous tips and tricks, here’s one L – Look and Listen - You have two eyes, two ears
and only one mouth. I – Impression – Is there an impression you get right
off the top? R – Repetition – Repeat the person’s name back to
them, at least once, focus on the name and the person together.
A – Association – Try to associate the person’s name with something or someone else already familiar
Specific Tools and Techniques
The Dale Carnegie Course Another name recall acronym, there are
several B – Business
R – Rhyme
A – Appearance
M – Meaning
M – Mind picture
S – Similar name
As with most Dale Carnegie aids, it uses reminders for the obvious.
Specific Tools and Techniques
The Dale Carnegie Course Learning about others Observe their environment
Find common ground Name Home Family Work Travel Hobbies Ideas
The concept of “Give to Get” Examples
And SMILE!
Specific Tools and Techniques
Active Listening Maintain appropriate eye contact without staring ~50 percent of the time while speaking and ~70% of the time
while listening.
Establish eye contact right away, and hold it
Look away slowly, and not down
Listen with your eyes too (smile, be open)
Listen to understand, don’t listen to reply Do you find yourself finishing other people’s sentences?
And practice
Specific Tools and Techniques
More Active Listening Tools Pay attention
Look at the speaker directly.
Put aside distracting thoughts.
Don't mentally prepare a rebuttal!
Avoid being distracted by environmental factors. For example, side conversations, music, TV, your phone!
"Listen" to the speaker's body language.
Show that you’re listening Use your own body language and gestures to convey your attention.
Nod occasionally.
Smile and use other facial expressions.
Note your posture and make sure it is open and inviting.
Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like “yes”, and “uh huh”.
Specific Tools and Techniques
More Active Listening Tools Provide feedback
Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is," and "Sounds like you are saying," are great ways to reflect back, and lock in the meaning.
Ask questions to clarify certain points. "What do you mean when you say?" "Is this what you mean?"
Summarize the speaker's comments periodically.
Defer judgement Allow the speaker to finish each point before asking questions. Don't interrupt with counter arguments. Avoid generating your reply before the other person even finishes speaking. Dale Carnegie – If you disagree, do so agreeably, avoid verbal erasers.
Respond appropriately Be candid, open, and honest in your response. Assert your opinions respectfully, again, disagree agreeably. Treat the other person in a way that you think he or she would want to be treated.
Specific Tools and Techniques
Practice and Maintenance Get out and try these tips, tools and
techniques
It’s good for your emotional health and good for your business
Develop a new relationship
Grow an existing relationship
Strengthen a long standing relationship, be a better friend
Practice ongoing maintenance, meet new people, make new friends
Where? Right here, at the NC AWWA-WEA Annual
Conference today!
