"A Chicano lives in the space between the hyphen in Mexican-American", . . . Bruce Novoa

Sarah M. Ochoa

Cultural Identity StageIn my younger years I just went with the flow of things. I had a lack of interest in my culture because it surrounded me and it was just how things were. The only thing I really noticed about other cultures was their food and physical appearances. I was taught racial and ethnic stereotypes but at the same time told to treat everybody the same.

From my teen years to the present I have been going through a cultural identity search. I realized as I got older and my family moved away from our community that people treated me different because of who I was and how I was raised. When I was fifteen I was introduced to a non-profit organization named C.O.P.A.L which was short for Community Organizing Promoting Advancement & Leadership. This organization introduced me to indigenous cultural roots and encouraged me to appreciate the uniqueness of others but not to lose my native roots. Ever since I was exposed to some of the ways of my ancestors, I have had a desire to seek more teachings. Knowing the old ways of my ancestors as well as understanding the present changes is what I seek to achieve, so I can fully understand my cultural identity. I am also fascinated by other cultures and want to know more information when exposed to them, searching for my own identity has showed me to acknowledge and appreciate other cultures.

“Identity Search” Communication Effects

Asking questions about someone’s culture can overstep boundaries

Real life Example: Several years back a few friends and I were talking about how our families came to the U.S, I bluntly asked my Lao friend his story and about his traditions? He said he didn’t know any and switched the topic and shortly after left. I found out later that his family came as refugees to this country and are not allowed to return to there home country and don’t like to talk about it but they kept as many family traditions as possible. Lesson: Not every one is open about their cultural past.

Future and present time oriented people may not understand my quest for knowledge from the past. Real life Example: When I started participating in workshops and events that C.O.P.A.L

would offer, many of my friends thought it was a waste of time to try and learn the ways of the past and didn’t encourage or join me. They were caught up in the present moment and promises of the future they created in their minds not the wisdom of our past. They would say that I wasn’t the same anymore and that I didn’t care for the group. They failed to see that I was taking advantage of an opportunity that many of us don’t have and that caused conflict in our relationships. I’m still in a sense an outcast in the group because I feel the need to search for what I see missing in my life. The hidden culture of our past is important to who finding out where I come from and who I really am.

I can relate to past oriented cultures because I see value in the past even though I am

a future oriented person.

• There is a higher power

• Time heals everything

• Its hard to believe something is an absolute truth

Like many other Mexican families my mother and grandmother were brought up with Catholic beliefs. As a child I followed some Catholic traditions but not all of them because of my father. On my mothers side the family was very religious and on my fathers side not so much. The belief in a higher power was taught to me as a child by both my parents but religion and attending church was not important. My mother went through a variety of spiritual teachers from different religions until she found the one that made sense to her. My mother is on the verge of becoming a Jehovah Witness, my father is still not religiously involved and I am on the search for what makes sense to me. I was brought up with the idea that there is a god, I went through a faze of questioning if that was true or not and my conclusion after the passing of my younger brother is that there is a higher power. I personally believe there are many paths to reach the same destination so the whole my religion is right and yours is wrong doesn’t appeal to me. I believe God created everyone different and a one fits all religion doesn’t make sense to me.

“Belief in a Higher Power” Communication Effects

Real life Example: Religion fanatics can be extreme in their beliefs. I like to speak openly about all the religions and question their beliefs, values, and norms to gain a better understanding of their ways. Some believers of religions take this offensively. My mother and I can not speak about our beliefs without their being some tension. We will start off with good discussion but then I will draw a conclusions that doesn’t fit her religious beliefs and there goes the conversation. My conclusions are wrong always because there is no room for new interpretations of the bible in her religion. I love to have philosophical conversations but when it comes to people with the “I’m right and your wrong mentality”, I have learned not to engage in conversations that will end in a touchy debate. it only causes tension in the relationship.

This is something I tell myself when something traumatic happens in my life. I use to just say it to feel better but as time passed the issues that were bothering me seem to not matter as much. I noticed the bigger the issue the longer time needed to help me overcome as long I kept striving. Over time this has taught me to accept what I am going through and be comforted that it will pass in time if I continue to move forward. I have encountered people who believe this is just an over generalized solution to every problem and have felt that I was discounting their feelings when I told them this belief. I learned that even though I may believe this and try to keep a positive outlook towards the future not everyone sees things this way.

Real Life Example: I have a past oriented friend who I feel dwells on things for

to long. I understand this is my opinion and she will deal with things differently

than I but I cant help but feel she waste time and makes the situation more

difficult for herself. If she could make an effort to continue on with life instead

of dwelling on issues of the past and let time do it’s thing, she could be ahead

of where she is at currently. Instead she dwells on the past trying to fix things

she can no longer change. I tried to explain I feel this is a waste of time but we

don’t see eye to eye because she doesn’t think of the future the way I do. She

takes life day by day and I plan for the future which has little priority in her mind

.

Its hard to believe something is an absolute truth

I am a person who looks at everything skeptically for the most part. I ask a lot of questions if someone is trying to present something as a truths with little evidence, I will not feel they are credible. This can raise issues between my friends and I. I have a close group of friends and from what I know and experienced we have always been honest with each other. With that said when a friend tells me something they expect me to believe them. Under some circumstances this is ok but my friends are not as analytical as I am and I feel miss key information before they come to a conclusion. At first glance you may believe the picture to my right is that of an older woman or of a younger women depending on your perception. If you look harder at all the details you will see both answers are the truth. This allows me to be open-minded when I communicate and others communicate there different beliefs with me; who knows we could both be right in the end.

Real Life Example: One of my friends that I known for many

years has been made an outcast from our group for something

she was excused of doing. I personally have not seen any

proof that has made me believe she would do something like

that. Therefore, I am now the only one who still communicates

with her and my other friends are against it.

• Give respect to receive respect

• Making progress is important

• Families should be united

I was taught to be respectful. Respect plays a big part on how I communicate with others. When I was growing up my parents would be frowned upon by the family if my brother (Mark) or I were considered disrespectful in anyway. Growing up I learned self-respect and how not to let others disrespect me in anyway. I went rebellious in my teen years and lost that sense of respect for others but still wanted my respect. It caused many problems to have such a high belief in self-respect with out the respect for others. I had issues communicating the feeling of being disrespected in a positive way and it caused many problems. Eventually, I had to remember what I was taught, to earn respect you have to give respect. With this belief I am able to better communicate my ideas in a respectful manner. I self monitor and adjust the way I communicate to others to refrain from being disrespectful in anyway.

Making progress is important!!

As a child I was always waiting on my progress reports from school. It was important to me to check on the progress I was making towards the grades I wanted. Making progress towards understanding the world and myself better or being on track to achieve a go gives me a feeling of self confidence. I communicate more freely and have confidence in my abilities and ideas. When I don’t see myself making progress or I am off track from working towards my goals I feel down and out. This causes me to communicate in a more timid manner. I won’t speak with confidence or share my ideas. Having this belief gives me a high value on how I spend my time and the future. This can cause issues with people who just like living in the present with no measurements of progress towards future goals.

Real life Example: My younger cousin thinks she is a hippie. She is a very live in the moment kind of person. She just turned 18 and has been kicked out of school. I ask her what is her plan to fix everything. She tells me she is going on a road trip for a few days. I flip out because she should be worried about school and graduation. She then calmly says “she’ll deal with it when the time is right.” Luckily, that meant that Monday but I had thought she was ruining everything because she wasn't focused on that Monday morning (the future), she was enjoying the moment which was the weekend( the present).

Families should be unitedYour family are the ones who are never suppose to leave your side. I was taught wrong, right or indifferent you can count on you family to be there for you. Families should work together as a unit to take care of each other. People who are very individualistic may frown upon young adults who still live at home. I feel you should live at home for as long as possible. I moved out when I was 18 and I struggled to make it on my own. It was not until my younger brother passed, did I decide to come back home. When I made the decision to move back home my friends in San Jose were not supportive. Many made me feel like I was back tracking, and that made me upset with them. I could not communicate with them because they did not understand my duty to drop what I was doing and go home to help my family. The unity of a family should be kept even if it means postponing individual goals. Family is a priority and I don’t like to associate with people who are so into their personal life’s that they don’t acknowledge their family.

• Speaking Spanglish

• Acknowledge people’s presence

• Parental or domestic corporal punishment is ok

Spanglish is the mixture of English and Spanish. My family and friends all understand Spanglish even if they do not speak fluent Spanish. Some educated people find mixing the languages ignorant or even disrespectful but speaking Spanglish has always been a way of communicating in my life.

Real Life Example: I use to attend West Valley College in Saratoga, Ca. I was

elected Student Trustee for two years. When I started a friend/colleague of mine

who was bilingual pulled me to the side and said I had a tendency to go back in

forth from English and Spanish when I spoke casually. She told me if I wanted to

effectively communicate to NEVER do that to a member of the board even if they

spoke Spanish because I would lose credibility.

Acknowledge People’s Presence Acknowledgement is valued in my cultural upbringing. When family would visit I would stop whatever I was doing and go give hugs and acknowledgment. If you were not acknowledged by somebody that meant you must have issues or tension with that person. It’s a sign of disrespect not to give acknowledgment. This cultural norm has led me to misinterpret peoples actions. Before I learned more about the different ways people send and receive messages, I use to make the fundamental attribution error. For example, if I was waiting to speak to someone who was busy and they didn't acknowledge I was there waiting, I would take it personal. I expect acknowledgment from people through a vocal response or a simple gesture. I still find myself taking actions like this personal but I have learned to ask questions to better understand peoples messages.

Parental or Domestic Corporal Punishment is Ok

I was spanked as a child when I did something really bad and so were my friends. I feel that if children do something extremely disrespectful they should know there is a possibility that they are going to be spanked. This may seem harsh to people who were not brought up this way. I see little children that I feel talk really disrespectful to their elders and should be punished a little more if talking to the child doesn’t help.

LanguageI was raised speaking English learned a little Spanish through my grandma and my Spanglish speaking mother. Learning to speak these languages together has affected the way some people perceive me. I personally feel that effects the way I talk because I have to monitor myself in certain settings. The language I studied but didn’t stick with me has actually effected my communication style the most. American Sign Language has taught me to use more hand movements when expressing myself and to pay attention to body language. Moving my hand when I talk comes natural to me but can offend others who are more reserved when expressing themselves.

Real Life Example: I have

a friend who has issues

with people in her personal

space and her personal

space is pretty wide. Well I

talk with hand gestures

and I noticed she kept

looking at my hands. To

refrain from distracting her

I had to monitor my hand

movements to eliminate a

behavior that was

distracting to her and/or

making her feel

uncomfortable.

"En Transicion"... a mural dedicated to Latino youth

My activity orientation is “becoming.”  My activity orientation can influence my communication style by shaping my interpretation of what people.  For example, after my brother passed I kept hearing the saying “Everything happens for a reason it‘s fate” and it would bother me so much.  I am not one to believe in fate and to think my younger brother passed away for some sort of reason other than the selfish reasons of his murderers is very bothering.  I believe that people make choices that shape our reality and the way we see the world.  I agree with the book when it states that people with a becoming activity orientation view people as evolving and changing because that the way I see people and the world.    

“A New Generation” Leo Tanguma

My time orientation is “future” and can influence my communication style by influencing my interpretation of a person’s message or action. Time management is very important to me. My partner and I have two different time orientations. She is “past” and I am future. I always feel she is wasting time and it has caused conflict in our relationship. I don’t feel she manages her time wisely because she spends to much time reflecting on the past and not enough time planning the future.

Real life Example: My younger cousin thinks she is a

hippie. She is a very live in the moment kind of

person. She just turned 18 and has been kicked out

of school. I ask her what is her plan to fix everything.

She tells me she is going on a road trip for a few

days. I flip out because she should be worried about

school and graduation. She then calmly says “she’ll

deal with it when the time is right.” Luckily, that

meant that Monday but I had thought she was ruining

everything because she wasn't focused on that

Monday morning (the future), she was enjoying the

moment which was the weekend( the present).

Leo Tanguma

“Humanity in Harmony with Nature”

My world orientation is “harmony with nature” and this can influence my communication style by influencing the way I interpret the world. I don’t feel we should live in places we know there’re natural forces we can not tame. I believe we should live at peace with nature and not try to control everything. My interpretation of natural disasters can lead people to think that I don’t hold the government accountable for inadequate safety precautions but that’s wrong. I just feel we can’t prevent catastrophic natural disasters, nature is always going to take its natural course and we should learn to accept it. I feel that this view makes it complicated for me to understand cultures that our submissive to nature, if you can manipulate nature to benefit everyone as a whole I think you should for the greater good. Cultures that believe they master nature I feel are illogical.

I had a tie score between “individualistic” and “group”.  I think that the test was accurate and for the most part I think being able to value and appreciate both views influences my communication process in a positive way.  I feel having a piece of both views allows me to be versatile. Growing up in a Latin community taught me the importance of belonging to a group it was not until I moved to out of my environment did I meet people with very different views than my own. I had a hard time adjusting to the people in San Jose. The groups that I was apart of before I moved, were very respectful and discreet about personal issues. In the city people were rude and disrespectful to themselves and others. Their were so many different people and everyone seemed to be on there own mission. I found myself around people who only wanted to talk to me if I had something going for myself not to get to know the person I am. I had wanted to break away and go be on my own but I didn’t know how much I would miss being apart of a group. Being out there taught me a lot about my self. I strive to be unique in small ways but I always want to keep the core values that allow me to care for others and communicate that people matter not just success.

Sarah Ochoa(Me)

Mark Ochoa1991-2009

Alexis Contreras

SaeyaHernandez

Ernest MichaelOchoa (Dad)

Veronica Meraz Zamarron (Mom)

Jesus Meraz (Uncle)Married2 children

Mama Jennie ZamarronMarried

3 children6 granchildren

Julia MerazDeceased1929-1929

Maria Meraz Grand Mother

Grand Father N/A

Eleno Meraz 1895-1968

Tomasa Astorga

Meraz 1900-1998