a healthy conversation with your teenage kid

Adolescence can be a trying phase not just for parents dealing with teenage

children but also for teenagers themselves because this is the time their mind

and body are vulnerable to a number of changes, most of which are not in their

control. In many cases, parents seek external counseling and psychological

services to guide the teenagers during this complex phase. Communication is

often the key of handling or dealing with teenage children. If you find yourself

beginning a conversation with your teenage son or daughter in a rational mode

and very soon find yourself fuming, frustrated and annoyed, here are some tips

to make your conversation more practical and effective.

1. Inform him/her in advance

Informing your teenage child of a potential conversation on a specific

subject you want to have, gives him/her ample time to ponder on it.

Catching them unawares is the last thing you might want to do to avoid

unnecessary arguments and troubles. Do not expect the teenager to

come prepared with a checklist but what you are giving them is an

opportunity to process thoughts and ideas on the subject.

2. Stop being preachy

This is one of the grave mistakes committed by most adults. And this is

rightly one of the reasons pointed by

any counseling and psychological

service provider, as one of the most

popular reasons for ineffective

communication. Condense your

conversation into points that are

easy to explain and receive response

on. Simple and short sentences

eliminate chances of misunderstanding and allow the listener to think on

and process every note.

3. Avoid stares and direct eye contact

Having a rational and simple conversation without eye contact has

always had a better success rate than direct eye-to-eye conversation.

Talk to your son or daughter as you drive or walk or engage in some

tasks to avoid putting the listener in a zone of discomfort.

4. Put a lid on your emotions

It is very easy to get emotional when you have a strong conversation

with your children. But this is not the time for it. Displaying emotions like

frustration, anger or by screaming, crying or any kind verbal attack is

not going to fetch you any desired or positive results.

5. Be His/Her friend

Most times, the attitude of a teenage son or daughter is that parents and

guardians are their arch enemy. Prove to them that you are on their

side. In such cases, they are likely to be more receptive to feedback and

suggestions.

6. Give time

Do not expect to see results overnight. Give the teenager a few hours,

days or sometimes even weeks to process the intensity and magnitude

of the conversation or subject in hand.

Seeking the counseling and psychological services can be done in challenging

situations. Expert help can always deliver positive results and also ensure

relatively quick outcomes.

www.midwestcenter.com

The Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety

Los Angeles, CA