a workshop for employees everywhere. 1.definition and examples of bullying 2.impact of bullying on...
TRANSCRIPT
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Recognizing and Confronting
the Office Bully
A workshop for employees everywhere
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1. Definition and Examples of Bullying2. Impact of Bullying on the Organization3. Impact of Bullying on their Targets4. A Description of Bullies5. Identifying Bullying Behavior6. What to do when Bullied7. What to do when Bullying is reported to
you
Topics for Discussion
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“Persistent verbal and nonverbal aggression
at work, that includes personal attacks, social ostracism, and a multitude of other painful messages and hostile interactions."
Office Bullying
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Shouting Name-calling Belittling or criticizing Giving them the silent treatment Excluding a co-worker from company,
departmental, or group events Encouraging others to dislike, avoid or
exclude a co-worker
Tactics used by Bullies
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Staring, glaring, or showing clear signs of
hostility
Being treated with disrespect
Exhibiting frightening mood swings
Deliberately overloading their target with work
Making up rules impossible to follow
Setting up their target to fail
Tactics used by Bullies
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Making someone feel bad or ashamed Purposely withholding information from
their target Start, or fail to stop, destructive rumors Steal Credit for their Target’s work Lie about their Target’s work
performance Making their Target feel unwelcome
Tactics used by Bullies
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Bullying causes the organization to suffer from:
Loss of productivity Loss of departmental morale Staff disengagement Increased staff turnover Lowered community reputation Increased interest by the media Risk of litigation Risk of violence
Impact of Bullying
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Reasons why former employees were bullied:
Independent and not subservient enough
More technical competence than their supervisors
Better liked by staff and customers Being ethical, honest and willing to
expose fraud
Impact of Bullying
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Targets of bullying can develop:
anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, migraines, stomach troubles, and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Impact of Bullying
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Other effects include:
Disrupted social life Loss of friendships Social Ostracization Professional Marginalization Promotions denied Loss of job
Impact of Bullying
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Bullies…
usually have an organizational power advantage over their target(s).
don’t think they have a problem. don’t know how to accept feedback. don’t know how to apologize. don’t recognize themselves as bullies.
Office Bullying
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Get defensive. Claim their target is over reacting. Claim there would not be a problem if
their target would let it go and move on. Say their target, “Shouldn’t feel that
way.” Blame their target for their behavior. Claim to be the real victim here.
Bullies, when Confronted
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Want to move forward Don’t want to rehash the past. Want to put this behind us for the
good of the organization.
Bullies, when Confronted
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Don’t be confused about who the
bullies are
Bullies try to confuse management Bullies try to encourage doubt Bullies try to play the victim
Who are the Bullies?
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1. A Group vs. an Individual2. Excuses and False Reasons3. Unjustified Causation4. Hierarchy Rules
Tests to Identify the Bullies
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Bullies will not change without being confronted
But don’t expect for bullies to… …‘all of a sudden’ understand the negative
impact of their behavior …feel the need to apologize …change unless there are negative
consequences for their behavior
Changing Behavior
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Employees will show mutual respect for others, basic courtesy, reciprocity
(treating others as we wish to be treated),
and behaviors that create a positive environment in which to learn and to work.
Code of Conduct and Standards of Behavior for
Employees
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Their bullying… is not about your work is not about the work of your
department or the organization
It’s about their own private agenda
Signs of a Bully’s Behavior
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Bullies use office-related social occasions to exclude, ostracize, and isolate their targets.
When a group of co-workers join a bully in ostracizing a colleague, it’s called Mobbing.
Co-workers participate in mobbing because they are afraid not to.
Events
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1. A summer company picnic
2. Lunch out with your department
3. Gatherings at Out-of-town Conferences
4. A Happy Hour organized by employees
4. Lunch out hosted by another department
5. Hosting a party at your house
Company or Private Event?
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What do you do if someone is excluding a member of your department from a social or professional event?
What if the bully refuses to be inclusive?
What should you do?
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“I’m sorry you feel that way.” “I’m sorry if you were offended.” “I’m sorry about X, but…”
Bullies are poor at Apologizing
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“I’m sorry you feel that way.” “I’m sorry if you were offended.” “I’m sorry about X, but…”
A better method: 1. “I’m sorry I…”2. “I promise…”3. “What can I do to make this right?” or
“Can you forgive me?”
Bullies are poor at Apologizing
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Keep a diary of events Tell you family about what is happening to you Talk with your director, manager, or supervisor If the bullying continues, take it higher up Contact your Human Resources department Contact your Employee Assistance Plan (EAP)
What should you do?
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Don’t react strongly Don’t show you are angry or upset Don’t try to retaliate Don’t believe what they say about you
Act courteously and professionally
Suggested Behavior
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Why do co-workers allow bullying to occur? They are afraid of the bully They expect someone in authority to step in They expect “The Company” to DO something They are bullies themselves and don’t want
their behavior questioned They are getting something out of it
themselves
And so it continues…
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The President of the Company?
The Board? Human Resources?
Someone else?
The Real Answer: You and your colleagues
Who will stop the Bully?
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Do not force the target to sit down with
the bully in mediation
If you witnessed the behavior, talk directly with the bully
Delayed interventions are very effective
Be a Leader!
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Employee Assistance Program (EAP) Human Resources Your manager or supervisor
Books: The Bully-Free Workplace by Gary and
Ruth Namie Bully Free at Work: What You Can Do To
Stop Workplace Bullying Now! by Valerie Cade
Resources