"Those who danced were thought to bequite insane by those who could not hearthe music."

– Angela Monet

It is always exhilarating to meet any-one who can purposefully stop the

trajectory of their well-ordered andcomfortable lives, and take off into a

wholly uncharted path that enablesthem to make a unique contributionto the world, drawn from their ownrich experiences and insights. Suchpeople move the world forward,and help it to shake off the cobwebsof habit and fear.

Five years ago Vijay and Nilima Bhatwere just another yuppie corporate cou-

february 2008l i f e p o s i t i v e10

how cancer transformed

the lives of globetrot-

ting couple vijay and

nilima bhat

by Faraaz Tanveer

C L O S E E N C O U N T E R

CANCERPRASAD”

“THE

WAS OUR

february 2008l i f e p o s i t i v e 11

ple enjoying a globetrotting lifestyle.Vijay was employed with the leadingadvertising agency, Ogilvy & Mather,where he had worked for 21 years invarious leadership positions includingserving on Ogilvy’s Asia-Pacific Boardas Regional Strategy Director. Nilimahad spent 10 years in the media andcommunications sector, with leadingcorporations such as ITC/ Sheraton,Philips and ESPN STAR Sports.

What changed them forever was theirown burgeoning sense of spiritualityand Vijay’s brush with cancer. Today,they are founders of Roots and Wings,a Bangalore-based consultancy whichhelps individuals and organisations dealwith transitions and make them alearning experience.

They have also started a websitecalled Holistic Bangalore(www.holis-ticbangalore.com)which provides anexhaustive directory of services andresources supporting a holistic lifestyle.These include alternative energy, books,music, movies, complementary thera-pies, counselling, reforestation initia-tives, eco-friendly products and centres.Bangaloreans can use the unique searchfeature on the website to locate a prac-titioner / supplier / holistic centre in the locality of their choice. It is aninspiring and innovative communityeffort which can act as a model forother Indian cities.

One of their most recent initiativesis a seven-day cancer retreat called Fromillness to wholeness, oriented to enablingparticipants recognise the gift withincancer (see box).

Their own journey is a perfect testimony of this. Says Nilima, “As wegot into looking at cancer from a holistic perspective, my journey toobegan alongside his. I can say today that‘we’ had cancer…it was in his body butthe life-changing and life-growing event happened to both of us. I am who I am today because of his cancer.The work we do today is because of hiscancer. We are back in India today

because of his cancer. I can touch somany lives today as a holistic healer andlife coach because of his cancer. Thecancer was our prasad.”

Why Roots and Wings? What does a‘transitions coach’ do?Vijay: Having lived and worked inMumbai, Bangalore, Singapore, Londonand Hong Kong, and bringing up ourchildren as Indians and global citizens,we have learnt the value of both ‘roots’and ‘wings’, and the real challenges inbalancing these two apparent contra-dictions. Hence the name.

Nilima: During our work and inter-actions with people from varied backgrounds we noticed that life-changing events create a lot of turbu-lence in the lives of individuals andorganisations. When faced with such asituation most people tend to withdrawinto a shell. Our role as a ‘transitionscoach’ is to help them find the innerresources to change their lives withinthemselves, at a time when they aremost vulnerable.

Tell us about the activities taken up byR&W.Nilima: Our scope of work includesstrategic HR consulting, facilitation,training, leadership coaching, and com-munity service in the form of ourHolistic Bangalore initiative.

Vijay: Roots & Wings targets a select client set and seeks a deep andlong-term engagement with them.Usually, our engagements start with a face-to-face meeting with the CEO and Talent Head to gauge per-sonal and professional chemistry,followed by one-on-one sessions withsix to eight selected staff members.We then develop an ‘approach paper’for an initial discussion, which is then fleshed out into a detailed propos-al with scope of work, who-does-what-by-when, fixed and variablecosts, success measures/ monitoringprocess, etc.

Tell us something about your HolisticBangalore initiative.Vijay: It is inspired by Holistic HongKong, which was started by a friend ofours. The concept is actually quite sim-ple: to create an online home for allthings holistic in our city. We want tohelp Bangaloreans find local resources,share knowledge and expertise, joincommunities with similar interests, andparticipate in onground activitiesaround holistic living. To us, ‘holistic’has four pillars: development, ecolo-gy, spirituality and health (D-E-S-H for short). It is still a nascent initiative,but we are pleased with the results and response so far.

Nilima, tell us something about SriShakti. What role does dance play inyour inner journey?Nilima: I have always been a dancer.Dance defined me, my personality, asI grew up. It enhanced my ‘sense ofself ’. With marriage and kids, I losttouch with it. In Hong Kong, when myjourney into this ‘inner work’ trulybegan, I attended a ‘5 Rhythms’workshop. It is a body of work by anAmerican dancer, Gabrielle Roth, andis deeply therapeutic. I knew then thatdance was to reappear in my life. I also came across Panchabhoota – cre-ation as the dance of the five elements;a theme explored in all Indian classicaldance forms as well as yoga. Throughan amazing synchronicity, at that timein Hong Kong there was a highlytrained Bharatanatyam dancer, RanjiniMenon, an equally talented Kathakdancer, Neesha Jhaveri, and in nearbyBeijing, an Odissi dancer, Raka Maitra, and my own neighbour wasPriyadarshini Ghosh Shome, a Mohini-attam dancer and well-known contem-porary dance choreographer. We alsohad R P Jairam, a banker by day andgifted music composer by night, rightthere to create original music scores.Our dance company simply coalescedas if by itself. Sri Shakti was born.

february 2008

Our first performance wasPanchabhoota:Dance of the five ele-ments, then followed Vama-TheFeminine and to complete the trilogywe culminated with Tao of the Heart.

When and why did you decide to getinto the psycho-spiritual sphere as afull-time vocation? What was the tran-sition phase like? Vijay: I’m not sure I can call it a ‘sphere’or even, that it was a conscious, consid-ered decision. It is very natural for us tosimply incorporate the spiritual aspectinto everything we do, whether it is cor-

porate, individual or educa-tional work. We have come

to realise that whateverthe ‘field’ (intellec-

tual, social, eco-n o m i c ,

etc), the ‘ground’ is always spiritual.The transition was tough, but made

bearable by Ogilvy’s support and thekindness of too many people to namehere. We had to deal with it at many lev-els: home, school, work, diet, etc … andthe process is ongoing. I took a six-weeksabbatical to go to the US and UK toqualify myself in some of the latest toolsand approaches to transpersonal psy-chology: NLP, Enneagram, etc. Myannual Vipassana retreats also helped.

Nilima: After spending some yearsdoing deep study of yoga, Vedanta,energy medicine, Chinese medicine andtranspersonal psychology to aid myown spiritual journey, as well as to copewith Vijay’s cancer, it was a natural tran-sition to start sharing these learningswith others. It had become clear thatthis was my calling, my life’s work.Having been a trained communicatorhelped enormously.

Vijay, when were you diagnosedwith cancer? What was your firstreaction?Vijay: It was a cold winter’s day(December 11, 2001) in the UK.I was still coming out of sedationafter what was supposed to be aroutine endoscopy and the firstwords the doctor said to me

were,“I’m afraid I have some badnews for you. You have twotumours in your colon, and I’mpretty sure it is cancer.” It took mea few minutes to clear my groggyhead, and to take in that informa-tion. I knew there couldn’t be any

mistake, since the doctor was soconvinced. So all I could

think of was to call Nilima,and get her to come overimmediately.

… and Nilima, what wasyour reaction?

Nilima: The first reaction was, ofcourse, shock, and a sense of theground being pulled from under

my feet. But almost immediately, I feltthe need to pray. So we held hands andcalled upon God to come and takecharge of this… to give us strength…toshow us the way through this.

A very dear friend who is a trulyevolved soul, said to me,“The cancer isa prasad. Given in just the rightamount, as a blessing.” She was right.Even though he had two tumours in hiscolon, the cancer had not spread to anyother part of the body. Also, even after surgery to remove the colon, heluckily did not need a bag for life.Something that could have been a veryreal possibility. He was and is blessed. Ifeel sure of that.

Nilima, how did you support his recov-ery? How did this process change youas a person?Nilima: Hard to answer. Like I have inthe past with very difficult life-events(my mother’s cancer, my father’s nearfatal accident with brain injury), I went into ‘the zone’. A state I can onlydescribe as being very focussed.Fully concentrated to deal with the situation at hand with an intense faith and ‘never-say-die’, ‘do-what-it-takes’ attitude.

How can busy couples bring spirituali-ty into their lives? What has been yourexperience with each other?Vijay: For me, spirituality is not somefluffy, ‘new-agey’ concept. It can be tan-gibly experienced, here and now. Mywindow to it is self-awareness. In fact,my personal experience is that ‘deeperself-awareness leads to awareness of thedeeper Self ’. Beyond this, I don’t liketalking about it, because talk is cheapand inadequate.

Nilima: I have never seen spiritual-ity as something we ‘do on the side’. Itis the basis of everything I do. All stemsfrom that and is for that. DeepakChopra’s line says it best: “We are nothuman beings having a spiritual expe-rience, we are spiritual beings having

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february 2008l i f e p o s i t i v e 13

a human experience.”I see Vijay as my soulmate.

My marriage has been my greatest sadhana (spiritual practice). I feel that if one can truly learn to loveanother unconditionally, that is theultimate achievement.

How do you maintain a balancebetween a hectic work schedule anda happy family life?Vijay: My approach is to put qualityahead of quantity. One of my mentorssaid to me: “If you can add some valueto every meeting you’re in, you’ll do bet-

ter than anyone else.” This has reallyworked for me in the workplace and Itry to bring the same approach evento family life.

Nilima: I work on my own timetable.I make my own appointments, beingself-employed, and can pace myselfaccording to my convenience. It seemsto be working so far!

Vijay, what would be your message toindividuals struggling with cancer?Vijay: In essence:

� Cancer is a ‘fork’ in life’s road, not a‘bump’.

� Aim to ‘transcend’ your illness;

i.e. ‘honour’ rather than ‘cope’ or

‘fight’ it

� Reclaim your power from whomev-

er you may have handed it to: your

doctor, your priest, your family, etc.

� Take a holistic approach (including

accessing your inner resources) to

support your healing

� Reach out to others in similar situ-

ations; helping others heal is part of

your own healing. ☯

We welcome your comments and suggestions on this article. Mail us at editor@lifepositive.net

Vijay and Nilima’s five years of lived experi-ence and subsequent work with cancer culmi-nated in a seven-day intensive retreat-styleresidential programme that they delivered forthe first time at the Sri Aurobindo Ashram,Delhi, in collaboration with Dr. Ramesh Bijlani(ex-AIIMS and an expert in mind-body medicine and yoga).

The aim of the workshopwas to introduce participants tothe latest mind-body-spiritapproaches useful in managingcancer, and to provide a safeand supportive environment inwhich to share their own expe-riences and learn from eachother. The programme consist-ed of lectures, practical trainingand experiential sessions.

The retreat brought homethe fact that mind, emotion,meditation, prayer, spiritualityand other forms of ‘inner work’ turn out tobe at least as important in handling illnessas diagnostics, drugs and surgery. It is not aquestion of ‘either-or’ but of ‘this and that’.The main insights gained during the workshopwere: One, a life crisis can be transcended by honouring and truly accepting it. Two, it

is important to reclaim one’s power after theloss, pain and vulnerability. And three, byaccessing deeper resources one can create anew life for oneself.

Sriram Krishnan, one of the participants,says, “The retreat was an eye-opener. Afterattending the retreat, I tend to appreciate

more the good things that has happened to me after my illness. I am now friendlier with the ‘cancer’ word, and I have the con-viction that any illness can be reversed bychanging our lifestyle.”

“Over the course of our workshop, I came to understand that my life is purpose-

driven, as opposed to a random set of circum-stances that occurred to me through a 80-yeartime span. I came to appreciate these cir-cumstances as “gifts”, wonderfully anduniquely created for me, to move me towardsa greater understanding of who I truly am,who I will become, and what I am here to

accomplish in this lifetime,”says Juliana Nelson, a partici-pant from USA.

Vijay and Nilima put theirexperience thus: “The retreatformat allowed for some amaz-ing depth of personal aware-ness and healing to take placeon all levels: physical, emotion-al, mental and spiritual. Wewere humbled by the way theprocess allowed individuals to open up and come togeth-er as such a strong group insupport of each other and

empowered each to face their own journeywith skill and grace.”

“The result was that, as expected, the par-ticipants understood cancer and the role of themind-body relationship in its prevention, gen-esis and management better,” summed up Dr Ramesh Bijlani.

T H E G I F T O F C A N C E R