alpha lifestyle guide

8/9/2019 Alpha Lifestyle Guide

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/alpha-lifestyle-guide 1/47

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<#@-40# H 1"(&B -I(-1:)0 +::B '::5 :& -&2:&#8 H1>0 -<:41 1"# 0(T# :/ 1"#

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'+-00#0 1"-1 "-I# 1"#0# '(-&1 +#&0#0= 1"#2>)# ':&&- +::B +(B# ':''+#0 :&

2:48 E:= '#&#)-++2 0,#-B(&'= (/ 2:4 +::B -1 - @+-00(@ -I(-1:) @:;,-&2 +(B#

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\41 1"# (&1#)#09&' 1"(&' -<:41 ?#-)(&' ?-2/-)#)0 (0 1"-1 1"#2 5:&>1

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5:&>1 +::B '::5 :& -&2:&#= #I#)2:&# @-& 0:)1 :/ ?#-) 1"#; ?(1" #G4-+

#-0#8 E:= 1"#)# H ;#-&= 2:4>)# 0:)1 :/ ?#-)(&' 1"#; 1: ;-B# -& -&9O

/-0"(:& /-0"(:& 01-1#;#&18

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1"#; +::B /4& ?(1" 1":0#8

67 Q:= :B-28 Q#R1 ?:4+5 <# P +#1>0 1-+B -<:41 2:4) 0;#++8 H '4#00 1"# ;:01

(;,:)1-&1 ,-)1 :/ 1"-1 (0 5#:5:)-&18 H 5:&>1 B&:? (/ 2:4 "-I# -&2 (&0('"1

(& 5#:5:)-&1 :1"#) 1"-& M401 ?#-) (18

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0;#++ '::5= )('"1C \41 0,#-B(&' ,)-@9@-++2= 5#:5:)-&1 @-& <# 5-&'#):40

<#@-40# 1"# ;:01 P +#1>0 0-2 01:)#O<:4'"1 5#:5:)-&10= +(B# ;:01 :/ 1"#:&#0 2:4 ?:4+5 A&5 (& 1"# 5)4'01:)#= 1"#2 04@B +(B# ;-'&#0(4; /):; 2:4

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1"(&B (1>0 ':&&- <# ":1 -&5 H ;('"1 01-)1 0?#-9&'8 \41 ?"#& H ?-B# 4, (&

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1"#2 -)# &:1 @:;;:&8 E:= (1>0 )#-++2 M401 P ?"-1>0 1"# <#01 ?-2 1: ,41 (1C

H1>0 <-0(@-++2 0#,-)-9&' ;20#+/ /):; 1"# @):?5= )('"1C

E:= /:) ;# 1"# 1"(&'0 1"-1 P H +(B# b-)9#) D:-501#)= (1>0 I#)2 '::58 Z:)5

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67 E:= ?#>I# ':1 @:+:'&#0 @:I#)#5= &:? +#1>0 1-+B <)(#d2 -<:41 M#?#+)(#08

.#1>0 01-)1 ?(1" 1"# &#@B+-@#08

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;:&#2 1: A&5 0:;#1"(&' 1"-1 "-0 ;#-&(&'= ?"-1 H ?:4+5 04''#01 (0 1"-1

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/):; 1"# /-@1 1"-1 1"#2 ?-&1 ,#:,+# 1: 01:, 14)&(&' - <+(&5 #2# -&5

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Q: Tell me about suiting up.

Roman: From time to time, every alpha will need, in the words of Barney Stinson, to suitthe fuck up. Having and wearing a perfect suit is an essential part of not just being analpha, but being a grown up human being. You can’t just dress up in t-shirts and jeansall your life. Even if you’re an author or an Internet entrepreneur like I am, you have tooccasionally dress up in big boy clothes and go out into the world.

Understanding how to pick a suit is really important. I will say that the first rule is: Do notown a suit unless you are willing to get it tailored. But, you need to own a suit. Which

means, by extension, rule number one is actually: Get your suit tailored. There are very,very few guys who can fit into a suit off the rack and have it look the way it’s supposedto look. Particularly a jacket. Particularly a muscular guy like myself has a harder timebecause I have very broad shoulders and a very narrow waist. So, if I buy a 42” or 44”regular off the rack, it’s very wide and boxy. So, I need to have things pulled in at thewaist so they’re more form fitting. This is hugely important. A suit should fit tightly to yourbody everywhere you are comfortable having it fit tightly to your body.

As for types of suits, I believe you should own a black suit for more formal occasions.You can wear it to weddings and funerals, which tend to come up. You should also ownanother suit that is all-purpose. I would recommend either a navy blue or a charcoal

gray. If you own a lot of suits, you can get a little more experimental with patterns andyou can look at things like pin stripes and glen plaid and chalk stripes and all thesethings. But, if you’re only going to own two suits, then you should stay with basicpatterns and solids simply because they’re going to be more distinctive. And, if you’regoing to wear the same navy blue suit to every wedding and it has a crazy pattern on it,everyone is going to notice because you’re probably going to go to weddings with all thesame people. So just keep that in mind.

The current style for suits is pretty trend fit. So, everything is pretty narrow. The pants fitclose to the leg. The lapels themselves are very narrow. And the jacket fits close to thewaist. So, if you want to dress for the current style, that’s the way to go. In fact, the

smaller look is so prevalent, it’s even common for an abbreviated look. Jackets aregetting shorter than they used to be. Suits are now about a half an inch shorter. I’veseen people take them up to two inches shorter than they used to be. Even pants aregetting shorter because socks are a big accessory now that guys want to show off.Sometimes, if you’re wearing a nice dark color suit, a flash of color from some pink andpolka dot pattern socks is a nice way to show a little fashion. To show this off, a lot ofguys are wearing their suit pants a little shorter. These are more advanced tips, though.



15

Again: two suits. One black, and one either blue or gray. And it should fit well; it doesn’thave to be skin tight. There are all different things we can consider about suits. Do youwant a peak lapel or a notch lapel? Do you want a double vent or a single vent? Thesethings tend not to matter. Pick a suit that fits you fairly well and then get it tailored, andthe rest will sort of fall into place. Keep in mind guys, a $500 suit that’s been tailored

and fits well looks a lot better than a $2,000 suit that hasn’t.

Q: Do you want to talk about athletic gear? What should guys wear to the gym?

Roman:Sure. Athletic wear. This is tricky, but it’s also really important because, as an alpha who

just picked up a great program to do in the gym, you’re probably wondering, “Whatshould I wear to the gym?” Well, it really depends. You can’t go wrong with sweatpantsor shorts and a t-shirt, as long as they fit right. One thing I would advise against is reallylong basketball shorts. These don’t tend to look good on anybody. They make tall guyslook super skinny, they make short guys look really short. There’s really no benefit to

wearing basketball shorts down past your knees. Instead, I suggest wearing shorts justat the knee or, if you don’t mind showing a little leg, one to three inches above the knee.This is the first way to encourage you to train your legs more often, which we all need todo. Secondly, it’s going to make you look a little bit more fashion forward, which issomething that alphas aspire to.

What are you going to wear on top? Depends on the weather, I guess. In the coldweather, it’s always cool to wear a long-sleeved t-shirt and, there’s always a place in thegym for the big hoodie. But, most of the time, I just work out in regular t-shirts. If youwere part of the Land Rush, you probably got a sweet alpha t-shirt that you can wear tothe gym, which we tend to do. If not, they will be for sale very soon.

You don’t have to get special workout t-shirts, nothing that keeps sweat away, noUnderArmour or performance gear. It’s really not necessary and, to be honest, Ipersonally don’t find it overly comfortable. I am a bit of a minimalist in the sense that Itry to own as few things as possible. So, with things that I own, I try to make sure thatthey’re multi-purpose. I would never wear an UnderArmour shirt to anywhere but thegym, so why should I own it at all? I’d rather own a regular t-shirt that I could wear to thegym or out to dinner. That, to me, is versatility; that makes a lot of sense. Overall, it’sreally important for me to just be able to have a lot of basics.

Your t-shirt should fit fairly well. If you have a lot of fat to lose, a little baggy is fine. If

you’re pretty lean, don’t be afraid to wear a tight t-shirt. But, it shouldn’t be a struggle toget the t-shirt on or off. Guys, listen. I like a tight t-shirt as much as anyone else, but ifyou have to ask for help to get your t-shirt over your head because it’s too hard withyour lats and shoulders, it’s a sign you’re wearing your shirt one or two sizes too small.No need for that.

There’s also an opportunity for tank tops and sleeveless shirts or even cutoffs. All ofthese things are sort of regional; it depends on where you live. In New York, tank tops



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are not overly common, but in California, where I spend a lot of my time, they are.Wearing a tank top in New York tends to make you look a little weird, when cutoffs aretotally okay. Adversely, in California, cutoffs are not common at all. So, it really dependson the image that you want to portray and what you feel comfortable in. But, in general,you can’t go wrong with a t-shirt. If you want to show your arms, that’s really up to you.

Q: I think we’re done with fashion. Which do you want to talk about first? Girls orbusiness?

Roman:Let’s talk about business.

Q: Okay. You’ve obviously done a lot of networking; Arnold Schwarzenegger wrote theforeword of your book. So give us some tips on networking and how to makeconnections with other people.

Roman:If I may start off with a quote by Tim Ferriss: “Your network is your net worth.” That’s areally, really true concept, and it’s something that I’ve taken to heart. Over the past threeto four years, I’ve really gone out of my way to develop a really extensive and powerfulnetwork because having powerful friends makes you more successful. And, moreimportantly, as you yourself become more successful, you put yourself in a position tohelp your friends.

So, how to build a network. Number one thing to remember is that, all other things beingequal, people would prefer to hang out with their friends. They’d prefer to do businesswith their friends, they’d prefer to go to business dinners with their friends. So, your goal

in networking is not to add another colleague to your LinkedIn profile; your goal shouldbe about adding another friend. Think about it this way: Most people approachnetworking like it’s LinkedIn, and you should be approaching networking like it’sFacebook. Just try to be friends with people. Don’t show them your resume or talk aboutbusiness too much because, most of the time, people don’t want to talk about businessand would rather talk about stuff they enjoy talking about.

There are a couple of good examples that I’ll give you in terms of how to act like afriend. The first is with a very powerful fitness affiliate whose name I won’t actuallymention. But, he’s a very powerful fitness affiliate and I knew that he could make myproduct more successful. We wound up at a mastermind in the Bahamas together. He

and I spent a lot of time together. You would think that my strategy would be to tell himall about my product, how great it is, how much money he could make promoting it, andall the things that people do when they try to build their network or whatever else. Ididn’t do any of those things. I didn’t talk about my product or business. Instead, we justtalked about girls. The whole weekend we were away, he and I were the only singleguys on this business trip with like ten couples. So, obviously, we had a lot to bond over.



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So rather than talking about metrics and traffic and conversions, all he and I did for theentire weekend was swap bro stories. We swapped stories about the mishaps of dating,some crazy sex stories, and other things we experienced. At the end of the weekend,we said goodbye and went home, and I felt like I made a bro for life. Two days later heemailed me and said, “What are the promo dates for your product? I’m totally in.” He

went on to do like 1,500 sales. So, the crazy thing there is that I built that network andgained that affiliate not by talking about business, but by talking about sex and girls.Again, I didn’t approach it like LinkedIn; I approached it like Facebook. On LinkedIn,everyone is like, “Hi, I’m this super professional person and here’s my resume and mybusiness card.” On Facebook, everyone is like, “Hey man, what did you do last night?”That’s how you should approach networking because people want to be in businesswith their friends.

Another great example is Tim Ferriss. I met Tim at a conference; we’ll get to that in aminute. Tim and I had some mutual friends, so I was not afraid to be a name dropperand I wasn’t afraid to be like, “Oh, Nate Green says hi.” Tim and I spent a lot of time

over the weekend talking. It was a fitness conference, but at fitness businessconferences people tend to talk a lot more about business than fitness. So it seemed tome that Tim was really interested in talking about fitness, so that’s what we did. He and Ispent a lot of time together and we talked about kettle bells and dead lifting. I didn’thound him; I wasn’t all up on his shit because nobody likes to be fanboyed. I just had agreat conversation with him.

As it turns out, we were on the same flight back to New York and I put myself in theposition to do that. Here’s a little networking trick. Put yourself in the position to spendtime with people who you are interested in networking with. I had found out that Tim wasflying back at 1pm, so I changed my flight to 11am to 1pm to be on his flight. As it

worked out, we wound up sitting next to each other. So, he and I bro’ed out the entiretrip. Most importantly, when we landed in New York, Tim had a meeting to go to, but itwasn’t for a few hours, so he was just going to bum around the city. I said, “Why don’tyou just come back to my place? You can have a drink, take a shower, and we can grabsome dinner so you can go to your meeting all fed.” Tim really appreciated that, and Ididn’t approach it like a guy who was trying to add Tim Ferriss to his network; I was justmaking a nice offer as a friend because I thought it was the courteous and hospitablething to do. And Tim really appreciated that.

He came in, hung out for a while, then he went to his meeting and said, “Oh, let me giveyou my cell phone number before I leave.” Tim Ferriss’s cell phone number in the

Internet marketing world is probably pretty highly coveted, although I’m sure he’d beembarrassed to hear me say that. The main thing is that I didn’t fanboy him and I justtried to be friends with him; I just tried to be cool. We talked as much about me as wetalked about him. It wasn’t just me sitting there interviewing him asking, “Wow. Whatinspired you to write, ‘The 4-Hour Workweek?’” “How awesome is it to have such a hugeblog?” Nobody wants to do that. A conversation is a dance and both people mustparticipate. Otherwise it’s an interview or a lecture and nobody wants to be friends withpeople who constantly interview them or who want to be lectured or who lecture. So,



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what we did was just hang out. That’s the thing. Again, the main thing is to treatnetworking like Facebook and not LinkedIn.

Q: What other networking things do you want to talk about?

Roman:We should also talk about putting yourself in the position to meet these people. How doyou meet these people? Where do you meet them? What do you do? Sometimes you

just have to go out of your way to put yourself in the positions to be around the peopleyou’re interested in networking with. A lot of times, this involves money. In the case ofTim Ferriss, I heard he was going to be speaking at a conference that I was interestedin going to already, but I was more interested in going once I knew he was going to bethere. So, I paid $1,000 and I went. I made a lot of valuable connections at thatconference, the most valuable being Tim. Again, I went in knowing that. Even if I didn’tlearn anything at the conference or pick up a piece of marketing information or anythingthat would help my business, I knew if I walked out of there with a relationship with Tim

Ferriss, it would behove me down the road. Plus, he just seemed like a cool guy. Andthat’s what happened. But, again, that cost me $1,000 to do. I invested $1,000 topotentially gain relationships.

Another great example involves a conference that Tim himself threw in 2011 in NapaValley. That conference was very expensive; it cost $10,000 to go to this conference.That’s a lot of money to invest. I don’t care how much money you make, $10,000 is alot. But, my thought process was this: Anyone who was going to pay $10,000 to go to aTim Ferriss conference is probably someone worth knowing. Someone whose businessis already successful enough for them to have $10,000 of expendable income to investin their business? Those people are people I should know. Not to mention that the

conference was about how to write and market a best seller. So, $10,000 seemed like agreat investment to achieve my dream.

While I was there, I met Ryan Holiday, who is fantastic. He is a best selling author whowent on to be my media consultant. I met Tucker Max, a New York Times Best SellingAuthor who gave us a jacket quote for the book. I met Neil Strauss who wrote, “TheGame.” We’re doing some stuff with the Neil Strauss inner circle later on this year. All ofthese relationships and benefits of these relationships came about only because I putmyself in the position to make them. And that’s really important. I went out of my way toput myself in these positions. So pay to play is very effective.

One final thing to mention is that you don’t always need to pay to add people to yournetwork. A great example of this is Gary Vaynerchuk, who has since become a personaltraining client. Gary announced on his Twitter that he was giving a talk about his newbook, “The Thank You Economy,” at the Apple Store in SoHo in the Village in New York.I had a meeting that I pushed back an hour and I took a cab down and went to the Applestore. You have to be strategic in your marketing, right? So I brought a copy of, “CrushIt!” and I asked him to sign it. I wore my Jets hat because I know Gary’s a big Jets fanand I just thought I’d let him know that we’re for the same team. And I brought him a



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Roman Fitness System t-shirt and my business card. I said, “Listen, I know youprobably get pitched on shit all the time, but I just wanted to say that I love your shitand, if you’re interested in training, I think we would have fun together.” So that’s how Imet Gary Vaynerchuk.

There are other ways to add people to your network, and that’s through social media.So, Gary actually lost my business card. But, I did put the idea of training in his head.He didn’t remember my name, so he was like, “Well, now that I’m already thinking abouttraining, let me just put up a post on my Facebook who the best trainer in New York Cityis.” What I did was leverage my audience. I figured if anyone could appreciateleveraging social media to get what you want, it would be Gary Vaynerchuk. So what Idid was post a link to his Facebook post on my Facebook and told my followers to blowhim up and tell him I was the best and that he’d be crazy to go with anyone else. So,that’s how Gary Vaynerchuk became a client - because I leveraged social media.

There are a ton of other ways social media is helpful in terms of networking. Again, if

you treat it like Facebook and Twitter, just going back and forth with people telling jokesand busting on each other, that’s how you build relationships. Well before I ever metRoger Lawson or JC Deen or Ben Bruno or a number of other fitness professionals, wewere friends on Facebook because we’re in the industry. We exchanged comments andsent links back and forth to each other. Whenever they were in New York, they stoppedby. Eventually, we became friends. That’s the power of the Internet: You don’t need in-person networking; you can network online. As long as you’re willing to make yourselfuseful to people and are cool to people, in the long run, they’re really going to like yourstuff and they’re going to be down with you.

I have another good example in regards to social media marketing. A lot of people don’t

know this, but interestingly, I met my fiancé through Twitter and Facebook, in a weirdway. My fiancé, who is actually my wife if you’re listening to this after September 29th2013, and I had never met but we had a lot of mutual friends, so we became friends onFacebook and followed each other on Twitter and exchanged a few tweets back andforth. One day she was teaching a seminar in New York. She reached out and said,“Hey, I’m going to be in town. We should grab coffee.” Well, we grabbed coffee. A monthand a half later, we were dating. Two weeks into that, I knew I was going to marry her.So, your network can be built in a number of different ways, but it would be crazy todiscount social media. It’s really important that you understand that this is a valuabletool. It’s not just valuable for building your platform and getting readers to your site orwhatever. It’s important because it can help you build relationships with valuable,

valuable people...especially if you can make yourself valuable to them.

The final networking tool is to make yourself useful to people. Always, always try to helppeople. I once wrote a list of rules called, “Roman’s Rules for a Successful Life,” in fact,I’ll share all 65 with you later on, and the last rule of all, which was number 65, stated,“End every single conversation with the question, ‘How can I help you?’ and mean itsincerely.” I truly, truly believe that is true. As long as you’re always trying to helppeople, what you want to always do is be useful to them and just be an awesome guy.



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I’ll go back to Tim Ferriss because that’s a good example. Tim came to rely on me to behonest with him about other people in the fitness industry, someone who would be agood affiliate or someone who would, perhaps, embarrass him. He asked me for adviceon who was who. I was very candid with him and I made myself very useful in that way.

So, Tim began to rely on me for other things, and when it came time for him to filmworkout videos for his teaser app for the 4-Hour trailer, he asked me. So I made myselfuseful to him not just by agreeing to be in the workout video, but also to take a redeyeback from Las Vegas and film at nine in the morning. So, I went out of my way to makemyself useful. And, again, I built my relationship with Tim and I truly consider him one ofmy closest friends. He’s a great guy. I didn’t do these things to try to network; I was justhelping my boy out. And that’s the key.

Again, here are the three networking tips. Treat networking like Facebook instead ofLinkedIn. Put yourself in a position through either payment or effort to go where peopleyou want to network are going to be. Finally, make yourself useful. That’s all you need

for networking.

Q: If I could add in a bonus tip, it would be to understand social hierarchy. So, know ifthere’s a top dog in a group of people who you want to meet, go after him and have himintroduce you to do the rest of those people. That makes it a lot easier.

Roman: Yeah. That’s great.

Q: Okay. I don’t know if there’s any non-networking business tips you want to share.

Roman: I don’t think so.

Q: Okay. So let’s talk about girls. You’ve been with many women. Some might even sayit’s a three digit number. My question for you is...you’ve probably dealt with a lot ofwomen, but had some issues. So let’s just talk about...when a guy is trying to meet theperfect girl, what traits should he look for?

Roman: So, as you mentioned, I’ve been with quite a few women...and I don’t mean justsexually. I’ve dated quite a few women. I’ve had several casual relationships and I’vehad quite a few long term relationships for one, two, or even three years. As to thequestion, “How do you find the right woman?” there’s the old saying, “You have to kiss alot of frogs before you find your prince.” I think that’s true. I don’t necessarily think that

means you need to go through a lot of bad people, but I do believe that one of the bestways to find out what you do like is to find out what you don’t like.

It really is a lot easier to notice the things that you don’t care for than pick up the thingsthat are really important to you. Most of us are not introspective enough or self-actualized enough, particularly at a young age, to know that someone with good familyvalues is important, or that someone’s stance on politics is important to us, whatever it



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is. Instead, you find things that you don’t like. “This person drinks too much.” “I don’t likethat she’s a smoker.” Or whatever else.

The first thing I would say is: Don’t be afraid of the idea of dating the wrong person. It’sonly through dating people who are wrong for you that you can start to eliminate people

who wouldn’t be right. That is what will lead to finding someone who is exactly right foryou, like I have done with my fiancé.

Here are some things. I think you should write out a list of the qualities that your perfectwoman would have. Whatever you think they are. Does she prioritize health andfitness? Is she an avid reader? Does she like to go out and party? Whatever the thingsare that you like to do, or think are important to you, those are the things that you needto write down. It becomes easy once you’ve done that and made it tangible to see thethings that are important to you. Maybe you’ll look at that list two or three or five yearsfrom now and think, “Okay, it was stupid to put that on there. I really don’t need thiswoman to like all the same music as I like to consider her a perfect match.”

For me, it has always been about figuring out the things that were intolerable to me. So,like anyone else, I like to go out and hang out and party and have a good time. But, Iwouldn't want to be in a relationship with somebody who habitually binge drinks; that’s alittle bit much to deal with. I had a girlfriend who did that when I was younger. I didn’tend the relationship over that; we dated for about a year. But there was this thing abouther that really bothered me and that I really didn’t like. That helped me because I wentinto my next relationship knowing that. I just didn’t date a girl who did that again. I also wound up finding things I did like from dating certain girls. I once dated this girlwho is pretty outdoorsy and we used to go hiking all the time because that’s what she

liked to do. Long after that relationship ended, I still go hiking. I really enjoy it. It’ssomething I didn’t know I liked until I met her because she exposed me to this newthing.

When you date a lot of people, you’re going to get exposed to things you like and thingsyou don’t like. Over the course of time, you will start to sift your first tier, second tier, andthird tier qualities.

Of course, one of the most important aspects of finding a woman is putting yourself outthere. You cant just sit at home waiting for the perfect person to fall into your lap. Youhave to go out and look. If you’re the kind of guy who just wants to go out and sleep with

a lot of girls, you have to go out and do that. But, if you’re the kind of guy who is justlooking for that one right girl you want to be with forever, you have to go out and look aswell. Neither situation is going to be remedied by waiting around at home. Don’t beafraid to go out, talk to people, get introduced. Don’t be afraid of stuff like online dating. Itold you earlier that I met my fiancé through Twitter and Facebook. That’s just howrelationships are formed in this day and age. It’s not weird anymore. So, all of thesedifferent things are important.



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Q: Let’s talk about the seduction process, if you will. You have set rules of things you doon a first date, second date, third date...

Roman:Right. Here’s the thing. When I was younger, I would sleep with girls on the first date if it

felt right. I wasn’t always trying to sleep with girls on the first date, but I wasn’t averse toit. I eventually wanted to stop doing that, or learned that I needed to stop doing that. Ibelieve there is a perception of men that states: Once men sleep with girls on the firstdate, they won’t respect her and can’t date her anymore or don’t want to date herbecause they’ve “gotten what they wanted.” I think that’s crazy; that’s never been who Iam. If I slept with a girl on the first date, I was like, “Wow, we have a lot in common, weboth wanted to have sex.” That’s important.

The problem is that I eventually began to realize that I attach a lot of responsibility tosex. I had grown up hearing all about those terrible guys who did that to women, whowould sleep with them and never talk to them again. That fostered in me this desire to

be the opposite of that guy so strong that, whenever I slept with a woman, I feltobligated to see her again. I would sleep with a woman, then hang out with her for fiveor six weeks until it faded. That’s a lot of time I wasted with people who weren’t right forme.

I wasn’t sure if I could change the fact that sex made me feel obligated or responsible toa woman, but I did know that I could change who I had sex with. So, the problem for mewith sleeping with women on the first date is that I didn’t know if I liked her, I just knew Iwanted to have sex with her. After that, I didn’t have sex with girls until at least the fourthdate. For me, that seemed to be the point where I would know a girl enough andwhether or not I would want to hang out with her long term.

So, if, by the fourth date, I wasn’t interested in hanging out with her long term, I wouldcall her up the next day and say, “I think you’re great, but...” Hey, I’m not going to lie toyou guys, I’ve lied to a lot of women. I’d like to tell you that I called the girls and washonest with them and told them that they're just not right with me, but I was really afraidof hurting people’s feelings, so the lie that I always told was, “Hey, I’ve come to realizeI’m just not over my ex-girlfriend.” I would not judge you if you used it. That usually letsyou off without going through the whole process. If you’ve gone on four dates andhaven’t hooked up with her, haven’t kissed her, haven’t tried to take the relationship to aphysical place, then tell her it’s because of this emotional reason. She’ll respect you. Itwon’t be that weird thing where the other person is wondering why you stopped talking

to them.

So I have that very specific process for dating now because my philosophy is that, bythe fourth date, I’ll know if I’ll want to spend time with someone long-term. And, if I wantto spend time with them long-term, I’m willing to sleep with them. So, for me, theprocess is (and I’m not sure I’ve shared this anywhere publicly): First date, no kiss.Second date, no kiss. Third date, little kiss. Fourth date, sex. That always works really,really well. If I’ve learned anything from the dating community, it’s that there are a lot of



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psychological reasons that the process works, not least of which is, if you don’t make amove on a girl for a few dates, she’s going to feel obligated to try and win your affectionand she’s more willing to sleep with you. It just makes sense to wait and it’s a veryeffective model you can use.

ROAD RULES FROM THE

ROAMIN ROMAN

ROAD RULE 1

SHOW UP EARLY

I’m listing this one first because it’s the one that it not only made themost difference in the way I travel, but also took me the longest to get

through my thick head.

Most people dread flying and dread airports even more. Having spent a

lot of time in airports over the past two years, I sympathize completely;

for much of that time, I thought I hated airports and flying and

everything related to it. However, over the last six months, I’ve come to

realize that I really hated to do was rush and wait.

Three years into a travel-heavy lifestyle, I decided to conduct an

experiment: what if I could eliminate the rushing, and turn the waiting

into something else?



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For my next 10 flights, I went to the airport early. First two hours, then

three. Now, I don’t mean two or three hours before my flight—I mean

two or three hours before I would normally get there, which is about 50

minutes. Meaning, if my flight was at 5pm, I’d get to the airport at

maybe 1pm.

This has changed my life in ways I can’t even begin to describe.

Here’s the thing: what I’ve noticed from taking more flights than I care

to remember is that the last 3-4 hours before you leave the house is lost

time. You’re too busy running around and making sure you have

everything that you simply can’t be productive.

As a writer and entrepreneur, I need to be protective of my time, and

losing several hours is unacceptable.

When I started showing up early, those hours were reclaimed. I just find

a table, pull out my laptop, and start working. Those extra three hours at

the airport are when I have gotten work done without even breaking a

sweat—including this article.

In addition to that, I never, ever have to feel rushed.

I highly recommend this for any entrepreneur. It will make travel so

much more awesome.

ROAD RULE 2BRING THE INTERNET WITH YOU.

For a long while, I was very hesitant to sign up for some sort of portable



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internet service, because paying 50 bucks per month, every month,

seemed silly, when I might need it only once every few weeks. Instead, I

would pay for Internet at airports with boingo, or pay for the daily

Internet service at hotels I was staying at.

Eventually I realized that I was being absolutely moronic. Not only was

I spending about the same amount, but I was sacrificing quality of

connection. Not smart, Romaniello.

About six months back, I made one of the smartest decisions of my life

and turned my iPhone into a mobile hotspot. All I need to do is plug the

phone into the computer, and I have a fast, high quality connection. And,

rather than add another new bill every month, it simply increased anexisting monthly bill by about $20. Pretty awesome.

Now, I can work anywhere. While I initially thought that the benefits of

having done this would really be limited to long travel, it’s been pretty

helpful in other spots; for example, my favorite coffee shop in NYC has

notoriously slow Wi-Fi…which no longer bothers me.

By having Internet in my pocket, I can get more work done, pretty muchwhenever I want.

ROAD RULE 3

PACK LIGHTYou are a chronic over-packer. You are. Admit it. Go to the mirror right

now and say, “I’m an over-packer. I have a problem and I’m ready to

deal with it.”



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This is not a judgment, it’s a simple truth—99% of people are over-

packers, and for most of my life, I was no different.

Currently, I might be an under-packer. Twice in two years—last year’s

trip to India and this trip to Thailand—I’ve traveled internationally for atleast 12 days with nothing more than a J. Crew weekender bag. Yeah,

that’s the actual name.

And while it seems at this point completely NBD to travel for two weeks

with a bag designed to accommodate a three day trek, please believe me

when I say that this was not always so. In fact, I remember one time

specifically when I went to visit Joel Marion in Tampa for a weekendand used a bigger bag than the one pictured above.

Think about that—I now take less for a two-week trip than I used to

when I was traveling for 48 hours.

When I think about it now, the most ridiculous thing is how much

garbage I used to bring with me on a trip. Did I really need thee pairs of

shoes? Where the hell was I going? What happened on that trip—andothers like it—was that I’d wear 30% of what I packed. It was stupid.

The truth is, you do not need to bring that much stuff. That includes you,

ladies. I understand the desire to bring two outfits for every day (trust

me, I do), but the fact is that you can make do with less clothing than

you can really imagine.

If you’re traveling for business, your office clothes will also do for a

night out.

On a given vacation, you do NOT need three pairs of dress shoes. Even

if you fancy, huh?

If you want to get a bit Zen, it’s also true that carrying less baggage



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makes you feel less stressed.

Pack less and your travel and life will get less complicated.

ROAD RULE 4

DECIDE YOUR STANCE ON

CHECKING BAGS

I’ve always been of the mind that checking bags is a waste of time and

energy. In the first place, hanging on to your bags pretty much

guarantees that you arrive with them; airlines can sometimes lose your

luggage, which I assume is a pain in the ass.

While the fear of potentially lost luggage is always at least a partial

factor, I believe that most people avoid checking bags simply because it

adds time to the trip—waiting at the baggage claim for the conveyor beltof doom for what can sometimes take close to an hour is a nightmare for

some people, and they’d rather avoid it altogether. I certainly used to fall

into that category.

These days, however, I have taken to checking baggage, and I’ve learned

that I don’t mind the wait. In fact, I actually enjoy it. Firstly, what I’ve

realized over the past three years is that there’s really no reason to rush

—those 30 minutes aren’t adding to my trip.

When I’m on vacation, I don’t need to foster a mindset of urgency; I

should be aiming for the opposite. Checking bags helps me do that—

changes my pace and lets me slow down. When the trip is for business,

I’m never rushing from a plane to a meeting; I arrive the night before



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and the meeting is the next morning. Getting to a hotel with an extra 30

minutes to spare certainly isn’t going to make a difference in my

experience.

Moreover, when I deplane, I generally have a few things to catch up on,and I need some time to do it. Having 20-30 minutes to kill while I wait

for my bags is an opportune time to do this. Keep in mind, as I

mentioned in my second point, I carry my internet with me at all times,

so I can have a seat near the carousel and log in to check email, if I need.

Business stuff notwithstanding, I have an infinite number of other ways I

can productively spend a half hour—and I bet you do, too. Even if it’s as

simple as calling your loved ones to let them know you landed safelyand then catching up on social media (both, in my world, important),

you can kill time and teach yourself to relax.

All of that said, I do realize that checking baggage slows you down,

which can put a crimp in travel plans—especially if you’ve got

connecting flights with a short layover—even if your bags are checked

all the way through to your final destination, if your first plane is late,

you might make your second plane but your bags might not.

Rather than court disaster, I use the following rule: check you’re direct,

protect when you connect .

Okay, I just made that up now, but what the hell do you want from me?

I’ve been sitting an airport writing for three hours—cut me some slack.

Jeeze.

Anyway, I’m not trying to convince you to check bags—I’m just sayingyou need to decide your stance on checking bags, and stick to it.



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ROAD RULE 5

ALWAYS HAVE EXTRA GADGETSPACKED

I can’t take even 1% of the credit for this particular rule—all of it goes

to my boy Tim Ferriss, who gave this tip in a New York Times article on

travel tips from Silicon Valley peeps. (Note: in that same article, Tim

says adamantly that he doesn’t check baggage, but, again, it’s all about

picking your stance.)

This rule is pretty simple—keep an extra charger for your phone, laptop,

iPad, or any other gadget you travel with in your travel bag at all times.

When you travel, use those cords, and when you get off the plane to go

home, leave them in your suitcase.

I’m sure I don’t have to explain this, but if you’ve ever found yourself in

India without a cord to power your laptop, you’d quickly agree that this

simple step can save you a lot of headache.

As an aside, I actually leave my Kindle in my travel bag at all times,

along with the charger. I don’t really like reading on a tablet, and when

I’m home I only read actual books, but I find having a few dozen books

in your pocket when you’re traveling is pretty handy—nothing is worse

than being limited to the reading selection at an airport bookstore.

ROAD RULE 6

http://travel.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/travel/how-the-tough-get-going-silicon-valley-travel-tips.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0








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MAKE TRAVEL DAYS EITHER

CHEAT DAYS OR FAST DAYS

This is fitness related, so pretty much everyone can use this advice.

My theory is simple: airport food and last minute meals are just not

going to help you hit your goals. They just aren’t any good, and it’s

impossible to stick to your dietary restrictions, count macros, etc. And

even if you could, it’s a pain in the ass.

About a year ago, when traveling back and forth to between LA and

NYC three times a month with my co-author Adam, we noticed that thedays where we were physically traveling just went to dietary hell. We

tried to be healthy and would buy mixed nuts or jerky at the airport, but

it just wasn’t working. Drastic measures needed to be taken, so we came

up with this feast or famine approach.

It’s as simple as it sounds: any day that you are physically traveling, you

will either eat whatever you want and not have to worry about limiting

yourself at the airport, or when you land late at night and just need aquick nosh.

Alternatively, you can simply choose to fast all day. This is what Adam

usually does. Not only do you get to ignore airport and airplane food, but

fasting is pretty easy when you have a six hour flight. Most of the time

will be spent napping or working.

So, if you’re looking for a way to get your diet under control withconstant travel, follow this rule.



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ROAD RULE 7

ALWAYS HAVE A BACK UP(TRAINING) PLAN

Anyone who has ever stayed at a hotel knows that the gym situation is

always an issue. Usually, I try to find a real gym close to the hotel, but

that generally means renting a car to get there and paying guest fees.

That can add up. Plus, you just may not find a good one. For that reason,

I sometimes settle for training at the hotel.

Now, while some hotels do have pretty decent facilities, most of the time

you’re going to wind up with a few treadmills, a universal machines, and

a usually incomplete set of dumbbells going up to 50 pounds. Now, you

can get a good workout with all of that, but you need to have a plan.

Think about it: when was the last time you went to a hotel gym and just

“did whatever”? Probably not too long ago. Was that a great workout?

Probably not.

When you’re limited in terms of equipment, it can sometimes sap your

energy and creativity, and you get a lackluster training session.

Personally, I want to avoid this at all costs.

To that end, I always carry 3-5 pre-written metabolic circuits with me in

my pocket notebook; these are fast paced circuits that will help me burn

fat or stay lean, without using weights heavier than 50 pounds. I put

some time into creating them, know they’re awesome, and having themwritten down means I’m going to follow them as closely as possible. Not

only does this make your workout better, it also helps you get out of

there a little faster.



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ROAD RULE 8

TRY TO PICK THE PERFECT FLYINGTIME

My final tip has to do with planning your travel based on the most ideal

time to fly. Now, obviously this is a particularly high level tip, and

applicable only to those who fly consistently, and who don’t mind

spending a little extra money for a good time to fly. Further, this is most

applicable to those who take the same flight path fairly frequently. Still,it’s a good tip, so I wanted to share.

When I say find the perfect flying time, I am referring to the time you

depart and land—depending on what you need to do, it makes sense to

choose a time that allows you the most freedom.

Most of the time, people assume that flying out early in the day makes

the most sense, so you have “more of the day” left when you get to your

destination. This makes sense if you’re going to a tropical place andneed to maximize sun exposure, but for business it’s not really an issue.

Over the past two years of flying East-West and back, I’ve found the

times that make the most sense for me.

When flying from NYC to Cali, the perfect time to leave is 5PM EST.

This not only allows you to get in a full day of productivity on the East

Coast, it also makes life easy once you land. You’ll touch down at about8:30 PST. This is just enough time to check in, grab a quick bite, and go

to bed. You’ll get a full night’s sleep and wake up naturally at about

6am, and BAM – just like that, your body is set to Western time. If

you’re fasting that day, you can go right to bed and not be hungry.



33

When flying from Cali back to NYC, I’ve found that you really can’t

have a sweet spot. Even if you leave at 7AM PST, you’ll still get in at

about 3PM EST. Not only will you be exhausted, but you will lost most

of the day. The way to mitigate this? The dreaded red-eye. Seriously.

When I fly back from Cali, I normally take the 11:30PM flight. This getsme into NYC at about 7:40AM EST. I only get about five ours of sleep

on the plane, but with a cup of coffee, that’s easy to manage. Not only

do you get a full day on both coasts, but you’ll likely save money on the

flight as well.

So, if you are a frequent flyer and always find yourself going to the same

locations, spend a little time to figure out what the perfect flying time is,

the time that allows you to maximize your productivity and enjoymenton both ends of your trip.

Once you do this, your travel becomes more fun and less stress. As an

added bonus, it becomes easier to plan, because it narrows the window

for searching flights. Double win.

Roman’s Rules

This list came about organically, and is the culmination of something

like 16 years of work, if you can believe that.

When I was 14, I was given an assignment in school to simply write

down my own Ten Commandments—rules about things I thought were

important to me personally, and that I would abide by.

I wrote them down and handed them in, but also added them to my



34

journal at the time.

A few of the rules from the original list will appear below, although

some have been either changes or omitted – the ones about asking for

things, or sleep, and the like are from this list.

Just about decade later, I added a few rules to it, as part of a joke email

chain that was being passed around among my friends. Most of the rules

pertaining to sex or fashion came about in this addition, and a few of the

fitness ones.

Finally, I have made some additions over the past month or so. Here’s

how this came to be. I had actually quite forgotten about this list, nothaving looked at it since I was about 24, but was brought to mind by a

book.

Recently, I read The Guinea Pig Diaries by AJ Jacobs, which is

essentially a collection of articles chronicling Jacobs’ various lifestyle

experiments. These include everything f rom living a month as a

beautiful woman (by controlling his babysitter’s online dating profile) to

experimenting with radical honestly. All of the experiments areextremely interesting, but the one about George Washington is most

germane to our conversation, and is in fact the inspiration for this post.

Chapter Seven of The Guinea Pig Diaries is called “What Would George

Washington Do?” The premise of the experiment was to behave like

GW for a month, in every way possible.

You might be wondering, how does one behave like George

Washington? Or, more specifically, how does one know how GeorgeWashington might behave? Very good questions, with a single specific

answer: you just follow the list.

Washington, you see, had a list of 110 rules that governed his behavior,

called “Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and

http://www.amazon.com/The-Guinea-Pig-Diaries-Experiment/dp/1416599061





35

Conversation.” Washington was not the original author of the rules—

they were penned by French Jesuits sometime around 1595—but he did

take the time to painstakingly copy the entire list by hand, and followed

them as closely as possible for most of his life. (If you’re interested, you

can read the entire list here.)

Jacobs’ experiment, then, was to follow these rules as closely as

possible, and in essence, do what George would do, and react as George

would react.

It was a cool chapter, and it gave me a bit of inspiration. Add to that the

fact that a number of my friends have similar lists—Craig Ballantyne

has a list called 12 Rules I Live By, and Jason Ferruggia has one entitled39 Ways Not to Be Like Everyone Else.

Upon reading all of these, I decided to pull out my own list of rules, add

to it, and see where it went. I have been exceptionally pleased with the

results.

I want to share that list with you, and a bit of why I think it has value.

But first…

ABOUT MY LIST (MILD DISCLAIMER)

Before anything else, I should just point out that in order to make the list

feel more real, I have fleshed out a good portion of the rules to give them

context and clarify my meaning.

As I mentioned above, some items on the list are quite old, and wereadded when I was a teenager; they’re a bit obvious and perhaps bland.

Other were added when I was in the prime of youthful debauchery; these

rules are based on the experiences and worldview of a 24-year old, and

so they are a bit over-the-top.

http://jasonferruggia.com/39-ways-to-not-be-like-everyone-else/

http://www.foundationsmag.com/civility.html




http://www.earlytorise.com/12-rules/

http://www.earlytorise.com/12-rules/





36

I left in certain rules from both periods that I think I still believe in. In

other words, although many of them do not apply to my life now, it’s

simply a case of having an entirely different lifestyle, rather than being

an entirely different person. For example, Rule 23 has not been

applicable to me for quite some time, but in the event it was, I believe Imight follow it.

The more recent additions show a lot of the change in what I think about

in the day to day. These are the ones about networking, or adding value,

and of course quite a few about fitness. Moreover, I think that the

biggest difference in the “tone” of the advice or the place it comes from

is the direction of application.

What I mean is that a lot of older items are things I applied to myself

instinctively, the newer ones come from lessons I’ve learned, both as a

person and a coach.

These newer rules, I think, are the ones where I felt were “giving

advice” or perhaps writing a rule for other people to follow; the general

rules I wish someone had told me when I was 18 that would have saved

me a bit of time and a lot of pain. (Although that might have precludedthe inclusion of others, which came about as the result of bitter lessons.)

This list gives some insight into who I am and a few of the things that

are important to me; however, please consider that I take very few things

seriously, so some of the items are largely on there for laughs, and while

the fitness stuff is relevant, I don’t know that I could say it’s important in

my worldview of personal behavior—it’s just damn good advice.

While I think a huge number of the items here are universally true, I

don’t think that this could be ported to another person and be completely

applicable. In other words, I’m not making broad suggestions for how

everyone should live their respective lives.

These are my rules, for my life; and so I ask you to keep in mind, as you



37

read this, that this list is a set of principles by which I govern my

behavior, or try to—and that I am exceedingly and eternally aware of

how very imperfect I am.

I know that one or two items might, to some, seem either weird or stupidor vain or petty; that’s fine, because I have at times in my life been all of

those things— just hopefully, not all at once.

Now that we’ve got that cleared up, let’s get into the list.

ROMAN’S RULES FOR SUCCESSFUL LIVING1.Never get more than 9 hours of sleep, or less than 3. I believe in

adequate rest, but too much sleep wasting time that could be spent

on anything from self-edification to world domination.

2.It’s better to beg forgiveness than ask permission.

3.Stretch your hip flexors. They hate you, and are staging a rebellion

against your posture; the only way to quell the uprising is with

daily stretches.

4.Write it down.

Your memory is shit.

5.Get your clothes tailored. A 200-dollar suit that fits well looks better

than a 500-dollar suit that doesn’t.

6.Show love. Never, ever, ever hold back from giving a compliment, as

long as it’s sincere. There’s never a bad time to say something

nice; get in the habit of doing this. People will love you for it.

7.Give credit. Don’t steal other people’s shit. If you got an idea from

someone else, drop their name and throw them a link. Do this even

if it’s not proprietary. Especially in the fitness industry.

8.On cologne: less is more, if you buy the good stuff. Have a scent for

day and night.

[[Roman’s Note: This rule was added when I was 24, and also

included “have a scent for each girl you’re dating.” I have no idea



38

what my logic was, but the entire thing was probably as stupid as it

sounds. I felt the need to edit this rule because while I still think

it’s important to have a few scents, I don’t think one for each

person you’re dating is necessary. In any event, now that I'm a one-

woman man, I rotate my scents only seasonally, so as not toconfuse her.]]

9.Nobody gives a shit about your SAT score. Or, really, any other

accomplishment older than two years. If you feel the need to work

this into conversation, you need to become more interesting. (See

Rule 34.)

10.If a girl hasn’t seen Star Wars, don’t bother dating her.

11.You’re allowed to say no to shit you don’t like. I don’t generally

believe in the idea of “obligation.” While there are things you“probably should” do, there is almost nothing you “need” to do. If

I don’t like something, I will very rarely agree to do it. I have said

“no” to everything you can imagine.For example, I no longer

attend holidays with my extended family; I just don’t enjoy it (too

much fighting), so I don’t go. Does my family complain? Sure. Do

they try to make me feel guilty? Absolutely. Do I cave in? Fuck

no.If you don’t like something, take a careful assessment of what

going will cost you, and what it can do for you. If there’s noamount of “goodwill” that will make it seem like a good balance,

don’t do it.

12. Do something you hate. Do it every day for 30 days. Then never do

it again.

13.“Don’t criticize an idea unless you’re willing to provide an

alternative.” - Momma Roman. If you don’t have a better

suggestion, shut the fuck up. [[Roman’s Note: I find this is

especially useful for trying to pick a restaurant.]]14.Don’t date a woman with another man’s name tattooed on her

body. The presence of such a thing implies one of two issues:

unfinished business, or a tendency to make irrational decisions.

Neither of these is worth dealing with.

15.Never play cards with a guy who has a city in is nickname. Miami



39

John, the Cincinnati Kid, Texas Dolly—all dudes better to avoid.

16.Don’t judge what people do in the bedroom. As long as it’s

consensual and not with underage kids, make the effort to simply

not care where they put their junk, including with what type of

people, or how many people, or in what way they do it. Chancesare, their porn browsing history is no more fucked up than yours.

17.Try not to have enemies. But if someone insists on making

themselves one, eat their fucking heart.

18.Sun’s out, guns out.

19.Use semi-colons; however, use them correctly. Personally, I view the

semi-colon to be an indicator of good writing; while this is a gross

overstatement strongly influenced by personal bias, I stand by it.

20.THIS:



40

21.At least once in your life, get absolutely shredded.

22.Buy the jeans that make your ass look the nicest. This is the only rule

that applies for jeans. End of story. Thankfully, it’s not always the

expensive ones; Levi’s fit me like a (very tight) glove.23.If a girl cheats on you, fuck her sister. Or her best friend. Or her worst

enemy. Or all three. Ladies, same applies to you.[[Roman’s Note:

Yeah, I’ve done this, and no, I don't really care how terrible or

shallow it makes me seem, because I certainly think it evened us

right up.]]



41

24.The high five is somewhat outdated. However, we’ll have to continue

to use it until a suitable replacement is found.

25.Train your forearms.

26.Never tell someone you “don’t own a TV.” That kind of

condescending, elitist bullshit makes you look like an asshole. Youdon’t have to own a TV, or watch it—just don’t say that. Also, be

aware what’s on it; having a general understanding of pop-culture

is fairly necessary for successful conversation, unless you’re

speaking exclusively to other condescending, elitist assholes.

27.Always be the first to reach for the check. Do this even if the other

person invited you out. If they put up a strong fight, let’em have it.

28.Finding a sports team to hate is as important as finding one to love.

And probably more satisfying.29.Network Like a FIEND. Tim likes to say, “Your network is your net-

worth.” While he’s not wrong, I prefer to say that your network is

more like a Dungeons & Dragons adventuring party. In D&D, a

balanced party will have characters that can deal with everything

from magic to picking locks. In life, you can’t be good at

everything—but you can find people who are good at what you’re

not. Develop your network so that you can always reach out to

experts when you need help—and more importantly, can leveragethat network to help others.

30.Ice cream is the perfect second date food.

31.A man can never have too many leather jackets. Some make you

look dashing, some make you look dangerous. The right leather

jacket adds a masculine edge to any outfit, and can be appropriate

for most situations.

32.Try everything. Try every training program and every diet. But when

you try them, go full out and commit for the appropriate length;program hopping isn’t a good idea. A complete lack of direction is

almost as bad as dogma. I covered this in this video for

SuperTraining.TV.

33.Answer all insults with a smile. Not everyone is going to like you,

and some people will be vocal about it. There’s no point giving

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmvKvMph49E





42

them the satisfaction of giving a shit.

34.If someone doesn’t like dogs for a reason other than fear or allergies,

I’m simply not interested.

35.Read as many books as you can. Reading often makes you more

interesting, more intelligent, and though I can’t prove this, Isuspect a more useful human being. It also makes you a better

writer.

36.There are many things that cannot be taught, but nothing that can’t be

learned. I generally advise seeking out experts for coaching;

however, there are things that you simply need to learn from

experience.

37.Deadlift.

38.“Wasting” food is not a sin. You don’t

need

to clean yourplate. Eating past the point of being full isn’t going to make

starving kids in third world countries any less hungry. If you want

to help, make a donation.

39.Along the same lines, buy your cheat day foods on your cheat day.

Throw out whatever you have left over. No need to court disaster.

40.It’s not the years in your life; it’s the life in your years. Don’t listen to

arguments on lifestyle based on longevity. For me, living a life

fully of quality years is by far more important than making sure Ihave a higher total quantity of them. I quantify that quality by

feelings of enjoying my food, loving the way I look, and achieving

my goals.Perhaps I should have been a rock star instead of a fitness

professional, but to be honest, I really don’t give a shit if your

method adds 10 years to my life if it makes me small, fat, and

weak. I don’t want to live ONE DAY in that condition, let alone an

“extra” decade.I’ll continue to keep my weights heavy, my steaks

rare, and even enjoy the occasional night out. To quote Neil Young,“it’s better to burn out than fade away.”

41.Admit your mistakes with honesty and humor. I find that “oh,

fuckballs,I’m the worst” is a pretty good entry point for most

things.

42.Get really good at being bad at stuff. I covered this in this video.

http://youtu.be/9REQwEpuOjs

http://youtu.be/9REQwEpuOjs



43

43.Keep 100 bucks stashed away in your car for emergencies. Cause ya

nevah know.

44.Develop a signature toast. I’m experimenting with mine. In the

meantime, whenever my friends and I raise our glasses, I intone,

“Ours is the Fury.” These are the words of House Baratheon, whichI am using as a placeholder until I develop my own.

45.Don’t trust spell check. I’ve learned this the hard way.

46.Scared Money Don’t Make Money. This is an old saying that is

common in the poker world, which is another way of saying

“fortune favors the bold.” In that context, if you aren’t willing to

put your money in on a coin flip gamble from time to time, you’re

not going to book a big win.In the context of both life and

business, I mean that if you’re never willing to take a risk, youhave almost no shot of building anything worth mentioning. There

are no statues built to those who lived lives of mediocrity, and on

the tomb of NO heroes will you find the words, “he played it safe.”

47.As it turns out, women are right: wearing nice underwear does make

you feel better. Here are mine: Technically, this is a progress pic for my legs.

But still. Those are some sweet panties.

48.Learn how to cook. If you’re approaching 30 and you can’t make a

few meals, take the next month and learn. Seriously, time to grow

the fuck up it. You should be able to feed yourself. It’s a basic

human function. Here’s a cookbook to get you started.[[Roman’s

Note: I don’t make this recommendation blindly. You can check

out my foray into cooking here.]]

49.Tip generously outrageously. Not because you have a lot of money, orbecause of the 1% chance a waitress might give you her number;

but because at some point this week, some jerk stiffed her, and it

ruined her week. You just fixed it. Karma will be kind.

50.Floss your teeth for better fitness. I feel that you need to have the

basics down before you start in adding things intended for

http://www.romanfitnesssystems.com/blog/roman-learns-to-cook-inanity-ensues/

http://xromanx.fitcooking.hop.clickbank.net/







44

‘advanced’ reasons. I have friends who don’t floss but go out of

their way to use whitening strips or see a dentist for teeth

bleaching. This is stupid, to me—if you just took care of your teeth

on a daily basis, you’d have to worry a bit less.In the fitness

context, people ignore basic nutritional needs, but try crash diets orsupplements; they can’t take the time to foam roll, but want the

hottest training strategy.If you can’t make a habit of flossing your

teeth, you shouldn’t bother with supplements—likely, you don’t

have the basics figured out.

51.Everything in moderation…especially moderation.

52.Resolve conflicts quickly, privately, and without anger. Throwing a

tantrum never did anything for anyone; getting angry and

sputtering hurts your cause, anyway. As for privately—in the worldof the interwebz, better to resolve things with one person than start

slinging mud.

53.Get really, really good at making introductions. When you introduce

two people, use first and last names; then take moment to explain

how you know each, and end by giving each a compliment. If it’s

a business introduction, make a suggestion on how you think they

might help one another. In-person and email intros are important.

54.Once in your life—and

exactly,

only

once—ball the fuck out. Getbottle service in a club in the Meat Packing District, or a cabana in

Vegas. Realize how stupid it was, and don’t do it again. Read about

my experience here.

55.Take the lead. Always suggest days and times to meet, instead of

leaving it in the air.

56.“If you’re gonna write a book, write a fuckin’ book.” - Tim Ferriss.

Anything worth doing is worth doing right; go after it and do the

absolute best job you can.57.When explaining your dietary habits, keep it simple. If you find

yourself at a party and you’re 15 minutes into describing the

difference between Paleo and Slow Carb, take a breath and stop

talking. No one really cares about your endeavor to reset your

insulin sensitivity.

http://www.romanfitnesssystems.com/blog/vegas-and-fat-loss/





45

58.There is no such thing a multi-purpose sock. Athletic socks should be

worn with sneakers, and no other shoe. Ever. Dress socks when

training is equally unreasonable.

59.Learn to ask for the things you want. People aren’t mind readers.

Whether in a relationship or in business, you are responsible foryour success and happiness. No one is going to magically figure

out what you want. Ask for it and make a strong case—you’ll be

absolutely floored by the response.

60.Try not to roll your eyes. Hey, I said TRY. Don’t judge me.

61.Don’t own a lot of things. Except books.

62.Steak should be served medium rare at most. If you eat a steak

medium well, you are not good at eating steak. Check here a blog

on why rare steak isn’t bad for you.63.Use your sex drive as a general measure of health, as it indicates

hormonal balance. Low sex drive is a symptom of everything from

depression to low testosterone to over-training. Basically, if you

don’t want to get freaky, something is probably wrong.

64.Don’t kiss on the first date.

65.End every single conversation by asking, “So, tell me: how can I help

you?” Be sincere and mean this. Help however you can. This is the

most important rule of all.

NEXT STEPS (YOUR TURN)

Obviously, I’m going to suggest that you make your own list—and

you’re likely to simply ignore that suggestion and just treat this piece of

writing as a funny blog post. But, I would like you to really do it. Here’s

why I think this has value….

Firstly, sitting and taking the time to actually write out what is important

to you, and how you think you should behave reveals a few things. The

most obvious of these is that you actually have to decide what to

include; on other words, really think about your values. I find that just

http://www.romanfitnesssystems.com/blog/of-muscles-meat-and-mandates/

http://www.romanfitnesssystems.com/blog/of-muscles-meat-and-mandates/



46

doing that makes you a bit more mindful.

Take a moment and think about the rules you actually follow in your

day-to-day life; then think about all the rules you’d like to follow. You

might be surprised at the difference in these two lists. Put another way,you might be surprised at the number of rules you’d “like to” live by that

you’re breaking every day.

Secondly, writing anything down makes it real—it creates tangibility. I

firmly believe that by writing down a list of behaviors you’d like to

adopt, or rules you’d like to abide by, you are much more likely to do

just that. It creates a concrete system of assessment; a definite lens

through which you can filter your view of a situation. Where once therewas only an idea, now there is a guiding thought process and a behavior.

Having such a list will make you much more likely to follow the things

on it. I know this, because it’s been working for me. In addition to typing

it all out as above, I hand wrote all of my rules in my journal (not the

descriptions, just the rules).

In the time since did this, I have become exceptionally more aware ofthem every day, and it’s definitely affecting my behavior. I find myself

giving compliments more freely, stretching my hip flexors daily, being

more cognizant of my sleep schedule, and even wearing my sexy

underwear more often.

PUT SIMPLY, THE RESULT IS LIVING LIFE IN ACCORDANCE

WITH THE THINGS I THINK ARE IMPORTANT—AND, BY

DEFAULT, I’M LIVING A BETTER LIFE FOR ME.

And I think that’s worth writing a list.

alpha lifestyle guide

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