chapter 11 experiencing parenthood: roles and relationships of parents and their children

Chapter 11

Experiencing Parenthood: Roles and Relationships of Parents and their Children

Chapter Outline

Being Parents Who Actually Takes Care of the

Children? Theories of Child Socialization From the Theoretical to the

Practical: Expert Advice on Child Rearing

Chapter Outline

Styles and Strategies of Child Rearing Children’s Needs, Parents’ Needs Parents’ Needs Issues of Diverse Families Parenting and Caregiving in Later Life

Two Extremes Among Contemporary Fathers:

1. Many men aspire for active, meaningful involvement with their children

2. Others, especially divorced fathers, maintain little actual contact with their children.

Mental Child Care

Worrying: – Mothers worry about their babies

more than fathers do.– Baby worry refers to all the things

that women as primary caregivers must concern themselves with.

– Mother worry refers to whether one is being a good enough mother.

Mental Child Care

Processing information: – Mothers seek out additional

information or advice about children’s development and needs.

– Mothers spend more time and energy in seeking, finding, and disseminating than men do in receiving advice or information.

Mental Child Care

Managing the division of labor:– Women bear the brunt of having to

seek assistance with child care from their partners.

– They have to decide what type of help to ask for, when to seek it, and what to do if it is not forthcoming.

Non Parental Child Care

77% of the more than 8 million 3- to 5-year-olds are in some form of nonparental child care.

3 out of 4 children from families earning over $75,000, spend time in “center-based programs”.

Among children whose families earn less than $40,000, little more than half spend time in such programs.

Freud, Piaget, and Erikson Compared

Freud Piaget Erikson

Infancy OralSensori-motor

Trust vs. mistrust

AnalAutonomy vs. shame and doubt

Early childhood

PhallicPre-

operationalInitiative vs. guilt

Freud, Piaget, and Erikson Compared

Freud Piaget Erikson

Late-middle childhood

LatencyConcrete

operational

Industry vs.

inferiority

Adolescence GenitalFormal

operationalIdentity vs. confusion

Freud, Piaget, and Erikson Compared

Freud Piaget Erikson

Early adulthood

Intimacy vs. isolation

Middle adulthood

Generativity vs. stagnation

Late adulthood

Ego integrity vs. despair

Attachment Patterns in 12- to 18-Month-Olds in the “Strange Situation”

Attachmentpattern

Behavior Before Separation

SecureSeparates from mother to explore toys; is friendly toward stranger

when mother is there

Anxious/ ambivalent

Has difficulty separating to explore toys; stays close to

mother

Anxious/ avoidant

Separates to explore toys; shows little preference for parent over

stranger

Attachment Patterns in 12- to 18-Month-Olds in the “Strange Situation”

AttachmentPattern

Behavior During Separation

SecureMay cry; play is subdued for a while, usually recovers, plays

Anxious/ ambivalent

Is very distressed; cries hysterically, continues to cry;

Anxious/ avoidant

Shows no distress;continues to play; interacts with strangers

Attachment Patterns in 12- to 18-Month-Olds in the “Strange Situation”

AttachmentPattern

Reunion Behavior

Secure

If distressed during separation, contact with mother ends

distress; if not distressed; greets mother with affection

Anxious/ ambivalent

Seeks comfort but then rejects it; may be passive

Anxious/ avoidant

Ignores or moves away from mother.

Attachment Patterns in 12- to 18-Month-Olds in the “Strange Situation”

AttachmentPattern

Behavior with Stranger

SecureSomewhat friendly; may play with

stranger

Anxious/ ambivalent

Wary of stranger; rejects offers to play

Anxious/ avoidant

Does not avoid staranger

Needs for Optimal Child Development

Adequate prenatal nutrition and care.

Appropriate stimulation and care of newborns.

The formation of at least one close attachment during the first five years.

Needs for Optimal Child Development Support for the family including child

care when a parent or parents must work.

Protection from illness. Freedom from physical and sexual

abuse. Supportive friends, both adults and

children.

Needs for Optimal Child Development Respect for the child’s individuality and

appropriate challenges leading to competence.

Safe, nurturing, and challenging schooling.

An adolescence “free of pressure to grow up too fast, yet respectful of natural biological transformations”

Protection from premature parenthood.

% of Population, Over 30, Responsible for Grandchildren, 2000

Gay and Lesbian Parents

Children of gay and lesbian generally:– Maintain close relationships with their

parents.– Are well-adjusted.– Develop the same sexual orientations

and gender roles as children of heterosexuals.

Comtemporary Strategies for Child Rearing

Include elements of:– Mutual respect– Consistency and clarity– Logical consequences– Open communication – Behavior modification in place of

physical punishment.

Grandparenting

An important role for the middle-aged and aged.

Three Styles of Grandparenting:1. Companionate2. Remote 3. Involved