compliments, personal idioms, & gifts

COMPLIMENTS, PERSONAL IDIOMS, & GIFTS

WHAT THINGS GET COMPLIM ENTED?

Performance Attire/Appearance Personality/Whole Person Possessions

COMPLIMENT FORM

DIRECT GENERAL NO COMPARISONS LITTLE LIKELIHOOD OF

AMPLIFICATION

REPLIES TO COMPLIMENTS

RITUALISTIC/PLEASED ACCEPTANCE (53%)

ACCEPTANCE WITH AMENDMENT NOT ACKNOWLEDGED DENIAL

WHO GIVES & GETS COMPLIMENTS?

SAME AGE GROUP (56%) SAME SEX (64%) SAME STATUS (71%)

REASONS FOR GIVING COMPLIMENTS

DESERVED (66%) NORMATIVE MANIPULATIVE

FUNCTIONS OF PERSONAL IDIOMS

BUILD RELATIONSHIP COHESIVENESS

IDENTIFY & NEGOTIATE BEHAVIORAL NORMS FOR THE RELATIONSHIP

TYPES OF PERSONAL IDIOMS PARTNER NICKNAMES EXPRESSIONS OF AFFECTION LABELS FOR OTHERS OUTSIDE THE

RELATIONSHIP CONFRONTATIONS REQUESTS AND ROUTINES SEXUAL REFERENCES & EUPHEMISMS SEXUAL INVITATIONS TEASING INSULTS

GIVING GIFTS

TIMING IS IMPORTANT– The unexpected gift– The forgotten gift– The too frequent gifts– The “make up” gift

TAILORING THE GIFT IS IMPORTANT– Give to other’s needs & relationship needs– Stress relationship needs on anniversaries

NEGOTIATION IS IMPORTANT– Norms for when they are expected, costs,

etc. THE RESPONSE IS IMPORTANT