copy makeover no. 1 (supertel hospitality)
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ContentJournalist.com / Rusty Cawley, APR
Copy Makeover No. 1Supertel Hospitality, Inc., news release, http://goo.gl/F5HQN
Friday, February 15, 13
Before ...
Written for high school grads, scoring a 12.7 on the Gunning Fog Index.
Supertel Hospitality, Inc. (NASDAQ: SPPR), a real estate investment trust (REIT), today announced that it sold the 114-‐room GuestHouse Inn in Jackson, Tennessee for $1.1 million. Supertel purchased the property in July 1998 and it was no longer classiTied as a core holding. The company will use the proceeds from the sale for general corporate purposes. Year-‐to-‐date Supertel has sold 11 non-‐core
hote ls generat ing gross proceeds o f approximately $19.3 million. Four hotels are currently under contract and expected to close by year-‐end, pending Tinancing and other customary closing conditions. The sale of the hotel demonstrates the company's continued commitment to the business plan which calls for continued balance sheet improvement by shedding underperforming assets.
Stops the eye with early parentheses.
Buries the news with needless corporate verbiage.
23% of words have 3-‐plus syllables.
Hard to read aloud, therefore hard to read at all.
Friday, February 15, 13
... and after
Supertel Hospitality has sold the GuestHouse Inn in Jackson, Tenn., for $1.1 million, the company said today.The GuestHouse is one of 11 hotels
Supertel sold this year for a total of $19.3 million. Supertel viewed the hotels as poor performers and sold them to improve its balance sheet. Contracts to sell four other hotels should close by Dec. 31. Supertel Hospitality is a real estate
investment trust that trades on Nasdaq as SPRR. The company bought the 114-‐room GuestHouse Inn in 1998. Proceeds will go into the general fund.
Takes out parentheses that slow or stop the eye.
Easier to read aloud, thus easier to read overall.Re-‐written for
sixth graders with a Gunning score of 6.8.
Makes the news easier to Tind.
Cuts more than half of multi-‐syllable words.
Friday, February 15, 13
Side by side
AFTERSupertel Hospitality has sold the
GuestHouse Inn in Jackson, Tenn., for $1.1 million, the company said today.The GuestHouse is one of 11 hotels
Supertel sold this year for a total of $19.3 million. Supertel viewed the hotels as poor performers and sold them to improve its balance sheet. Contracts to sell four other hotels should close by Dec. 31. Supertel Hospitality is a real estate
investment trust that trades on Nasdaq as SPRR. The company bought the 114-‐room GuestHouse Inn in 1998. Proceeds will go into the general fund.
BEFORESupertel Hospitality, Inc. (NASDAQ: SPPR),
a real estate investment trust (REIT), today announced that it sold the 114-‐room GuestHouse Inn in Jackson, Tennessee for $1.1 million. Supertel purchased the property in July 1998 and it was no longer classiTied as a core holding. The company will use the proceeds from the sale for general corporate purposes. Year-‐to-‐date Supertel has sold 11 non-‐core
hotels generating gross proceeds of approximately $19.3 million. Four hotels are currently under contract and expected to close by year-‐end, pending Tinancing and other customary closing conditions. The sale of the hotel demonstrates the company's continued commitment to the business plan which calls for continued balance sheet improvement by shedding underperforming assets.
Friday, February 15, 13
Takeaway: Cut needless words
✤ Lawyers love to add words that add nothing. In the pursuit of absolute precision, they sacriTice clarity. For example:
✤ “Four hotels are currently under contract and expected to close by year-‐end, pending Tinancing and other customary closing conditions.”
✤ Needless words put the burden on the reader.
✤ Readers seldom work harder; they are more likely to quit reading.
Friday, February 15, 13
1. Keep sentences short, on average.
2. Prefer the simple to the complex.
3. Prefer the familiar word.
4. Cut unnecessary words.5. Put action in your verbs.6. Write as you speak.
7. Prefer the concrete to the abstract.
8. Relate to your reader’s experience.
9. Vary your style.10. Write to express, not to impress.
Follow Robert Gunning's10 principles of clear writing
Friday, February 15, 13
ContentJournalist.com
Friday, February 15, 13
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