dealing with difficult people. frogs have it easy; they can eat what bugs them

Dealing With Dealing With Difficult PeopleDifficult People

Frogs have it Frogs have it easy; they can easy; they can eat what bugs eat what bugs

them.them.

Dealing With Difficult Dealing With Difficult PeoplePeople

BULLDOZERBULLDOZER

EXPERTEXPERT

COMPLAINERCOMPLAINER

SNIPERSNIPER

BALLOONBALLOON

INDECISIVEINDECISIVE

4 ELEMENTS FOR EFFECTIVELY 4 ELEMENTS FOR EFFECTIVELY DEALING WITH DIFFICULT DEALING WITH DIFFICULT

PEOPLEPEOPLE1. Know Specifically 1. Know Specifically WhatWhat You Want You Want

2. Make the Commitment2. Make the Commitment

3. Pay Close Attention3. Pay Close Attention

4. Be Flexible4. Be Flexible

TYPES of “PEOPLE”TYPES of “PEOPLE”TASK FOCUSEDTASK FOCUSED::

INTENT:INTENT:

–To get things doneTo get things done

–To get things rightTo get things right

NEED:NEED:

–ControlControl

–PerfectionPerfection

PEOPLE FOCUSEDPEOPLE FOCUSED::

INTENT:INTENT:

- To get along- To get along

- To get appreciated- To get appreciated

NEED:NEED:

- Approval- Approval

- Attention- Attention

Anger is one Anger is one letter short of letter short of

DANGER!DANGER!

BULLDOZERBULLDOZER

1. Stand your ground1. Stand your ground

2. 2. Breathe!Breathe!

3. Interrupt3. Interrupt

4. Backtrack slightly4. Backtrack slightly

5. Aim at a “Bottom Line”5. Aim at a “Bottom Line”

6. Peace with Honor6. Peace with Honor

He who He who throws mud throws mud

loses loses ground.ground.

The SniperThe Sniper

1. Stop, Look, & Backtrack1. Stop, Look, & Backtrack2. Ask the “Relevancy” question2. Ask the “Relevancy” question3. Seek group opinion3. Seek group opinion4. Now we need “Tank” strategy?4. Now we need “Tank” strategy?5. If he/she will talk -- 5. If he/she will talk -- LISTENLISTEN!!6. Suggest a “Civil Future”6. Suggest a “Civil Future”

Diplomacy is Diplomacy is the art of the art of

letting letting someone else someone else get your way.get your way.

KNOW-IT-ALL:KNOW-IT-ALL:(The (The ExpertExpert))

1. 1. KnowKnow your stuff your stuff

2. Backtrack with respect2. Backtrack with respect

3. Question 3. Question firmlyfirmly

4. Present options 4. Present options politelypolitely

5. Use plural pronouns5. Use plural pronouns

6.Acknowledge his/her competence6.Acknowledge his/her competence

No man knows No man knows less than the less than the

man who man who knows it all!knows it all!

KNOW-IT-ALL:KNOW-IT-ALL:(The (The BalloonBalloon))

1. Backtrack1. Backtrack2. Ask for specifics2. Ask for specifics3. State facts as you know them3. State facts as you know them4. Provide a way out4. Provide a way out5. Handle alone whenever possible5. Handle alone whenever possible

If you must cry If you must cry over spilled over spilled milk, then milk, then

pleaseplease try to try to condense it!condense it!

The Complainer:The Complainer:

1. Listen1. Listen2. Prepare to interrupt - 2. Prepare to interrupt - Don’t AgreeDon’t Agree3. Acknowledge the complaint3. Acknowledge the complaint4. Get specifics4. Get specifics5. Use limiting responses5. Use limiting responses6. Move to problem solving6. Move to problem solving

Sit on the fence Sit on the fence long enough long enough

and the parade and the parade will pass you bywill pass you by

INDECISIVE:INDECISIVE:

1. Help them voice concerns (take cues 1. Help them voice concerns (take cues from “what’s not said / indirectness”from “what’s not said / indirectness”

2. Provide face-to-face support when 2. Provide face-to-face support when possiblepossible

3. Reduce alternatives3. Reduce alternatives4. Keep the action step4. Keep the action step5. Watch behavior - 5. Watch behavior - “don’t push too far”“don’t push too far”

You can’t direct You can’t direct the wind, but the wind, but

you can adjust you can adjust your sails.your sails.

Difficult Person Coping Plan:Difficult Person Coping Plan:1. Assess the “Situation”1. Assess the “Situation”

2. Stop wishing they were “different”!2. Stop wishing they were “different”!

3. Get distance between you and the 3. Get distance between you and the difficult behaviordifficult behavior

4. Formulate a plan for interrupting the 4. Formulate a plan for interrupting the interactioninteraction

5. Implement strategy5. Implement strategy

6. Monitor coping process6. Monitor coping process

7. Modify or abandon plan, if necessary7. Modify or abandon plan, if necessary

CARING COMMUNICATION:CARING COMMUNICATION: AcknowledgingAcknowledging AppreciatingAppreciating AssuringAssuring Passive ListeningPassive Listening PacingPacing ReflectingReflecting ParaphrasingParaphrasing A positive closeA positive close

WATCH OUT FOR:WATCH OUT FOR: Put DownsPut Downs ImpatienceImpatience Sarcasm & ComplainingSarcasm & Complaining JargonJargon Explaining Too MuchExplaining Too Much Ignoring Customer’s CommentsIgnoring Customer’s Comments Avoiding Responsibility or Blaming Avoiding Responsibility or Blaming

OthersOthers

QUESTIONS?QUESTIONS?

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