games for learning about conflict egrove sdec13

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Ellen Grove: Games for Learning about Conflict

Ellen  Grove  agilepartnership.com  

Games for

Learning About

Conflict @eegrove  

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Where all think alike, no one thinks very much. Walter Lippman, The Stakes of Democracy 1915

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Navigating

Foundering @eegrove  

Furlongs’s Circle of Conflict

Relationships

Externals/ Moods

Data Structure

Values

Interests @eegrove  

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Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Modes

Avoiding Accommodating

Compromising

Collaborating Competing

Cooperativeness

Ass

ertiv

enes

s

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Social  Virus  

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@eegrove    Adkins:    h>p://agile.dzone.com/arAcles/agile-­‐managing-­‐conflict  

Consensus

Shuttle diplomacy to de-escalate

Support and safety

Accommodate Negotiate Get factual

Peacekeeping/Protection

What might you do?:

@eegrove    Adkins:    h>p://agile.dzone.com/arAcles/agile-­‐managing-­‐conflict  

"Separate the people from the problem.” "Focus on interests, not positions.” "Invent options for mutual gain.” "Insist on using objective criteria.” "Know your BATNA (Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement)” William Ury, Getting to YES, 1981

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Everyone is right…but only partially Lyssa Adkins and Michael Spayd

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North-Going Zax

Position 1: I MUST HAVE THE

LEMON!

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South-Going Zax

Position 1: I MUST HAVE THE

LEMON!

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http://www.flickr.com/photos/45802332@N00/3308234796 @eegrove  

North-Going Zax

Position: I MUST HAVE THE LEMON!

Interest:

I need the rind of the lemon to make pound-cake

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South-Going Zax

Position: I MUST HAVE THE LEMON!

Interest:

I need the pulp of the lemon to make lemonade

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http://www.flickr.com/photos/45802332@N00/3308234796 @eegrove  

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North-Going Zax

Two heads are better than one

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South-Going Zax

If you want something done

right, do it yourself

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http://www.flickr.com/photos/djlicious/2191502470 @eegrove  

Recap ²  Perception: What’s your perception of conflict? What

kind of conflict are you engaged in? ²  Escalation: What escalates conflict? What is your

reaction to conflict? ² Contagion: How does your behaviour affect other

people? ² Constellation: Who is affected? Who needs to be

involved in the solution? ²  Position: How to differentiate between position and

interests? ² Contradiction: How can we appreciate multiple truths

and recognize our biases?

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Great relationships rely on passionate disagreement Patrick Lencioni

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Thank you! egrove@agilepartnership.com @eegrove Masteringtheobvious.wordpress.com

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How do you need to be with each other? What can you count on from each other when the going gets tough?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dearbarbie/255550938 @eegrove  

Resources  

•  PublicaAons  –  Furlong  (2005)  The  Conflict  ResoluAon  Handbook  –  Thomas  &  Kilmann  Conflict  Modes:  h>p://www.kilmanndiagnosAcs.com/overview-­‐thomas-­‐kilmann-­‐conflict-­‐mode-­‐instrument-­‐tki  –  Adkins,  NavigaAng  the  5  Levels  of  Conflict  the  Agile  Way:  h>p://agile.dzone.com/arAcles/agile-­‐managing-­‐conflict  –  Fisher  and  Ury  (1981),Ge\ng  to  YES  

•  Games  –  PercepAon  (What  Color  is  Conflict?):  h>p://www.teachervision.fen.com/classroom-­‐management/acAvity/2922.html  –  EscalaAon  (Role  Plays):  h>p://esrnaAonal.org/resources/lessons-­‐from-­‐connected-­‐and-­‐respected/  –  Contagion  (Social  Virus):  h>p://www.thiagi.com/pfp/IE4H/august2011.html#Jolt  –  ConstellaAon  (Problem  ConstellaAon):h>p://agilemeditaAon.wordpress.com/2013/09/12/problem-­‐constellaAon/  –  PosiAon  (I  MUST  have  the  lemon!):  h>p://learningstore.uwex.edu/Assets/pdfs/B3870-­‐09.PDF  –  ContradicAon  (Au  contraire):    h>p://www.thiagi.com/pfp/IE4H/february2013.html#Jolt  

•  Photo  credits  –  http://www.flickr.com/photos/jsjgeology/8512500151 –  http://www.flickr.com/photos/afireinwinter/9304601336 –  http://www.flickr.com/photos/johnson7/1460568819 –  http://www.flickr.com/photos/jkadlec/8650818989 –  http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/da/Rolling-thunder-cloud.jpg –  http://www.flickr.com/photos/niaid/8411599236 –  http://www.flickr.com/photos/kenlund –  http://www.flickr.com/photos/45802332@N –  http://www.flickr.com/photos/djlicious/2191502470

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