interpersonal attraction chapter 10. much of the day-to-day meaning in life comes from them. ...
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Much of the day-to-day meaning in life comes from them.
People feel lonely and alienated without them
Why are relationships important?
Proximity/propinquity Mere exposure
Similarity Attitudes and values Physical appearance Interests demographics
Factors in Interpersonal Attraction
Physical Appearance/attractiveness
Reciprocal Liking
Familiarity Related to propinquity, similarity, and
reciprocal liking
Factors in Interpersonal Attraction
Stereotype: attractive people are more extraverted, sociable and popular They are more assertive, sexual, and happier
May be a self-fulfilling prophecy
What is Beautiful is Good
Cultural differences in Expectations and experience
Americans value passionate love Asian collectivist societies value companionate
love Romantic love is almost universal
Love is Universal
Styles usually based on experience with mother/caregiver as a baby
Style can be modified in adulthood
Attachment
When, how & why does Attachment develop?
By 6 months, infants show obvious signs of attachment to their mothers (primary caregivers)
Freud suggested that this is the foundation for all later relationships.
Psychoanalysts & behaviorists thought that feeding was the basis for attachment.
Harry Harlowe later demonstrated that “contact comfort” was the important variable.
Social Development
Harlow’s Surrogate Mother Experiments Monkeys preferred
contact with the comfortable cloth mother, even while feeding from the nourishing wire mother
Attachment & Later Development
Attachment provides inner feelings of affection & security.
Securely attached preschoolers were high in self-esteem, socially competent, cooperative and popular.
Avoidantly attached agemates were isolated and disconnected.
Resistantly attached agemates were disruptive and difficult.
Attachment Styles
Mary Ainsworth (1979) identified three attachment styles between infants and caregiver: Secure attachment style (70%) - caregiver is
responsive to infant’s needs; infant trusts caregiver Avoidant attachment style (20%) - caregiver is
distant or rejecting; infant suppresses desire to be close to caregiver
Ambivalent attachment style (10%) - caregiver is inconsistently available and overbearing with affection; infant clings anxiously to caregiver and then fights against closeness by pushing away
Links Between Attachment in Childhood and Close Relationships in
Adulthood
Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver (1987) examined continuity between childhood attachment and romantic relationships Securely attached infants are more likely to
have a secure attachment to adult romantic partner
Individuals with avoidant attachment style in childhood find it difficult to develop intimate relationship in adulthood
Individuals can revise attachment styles in adulthood
Types of Attachment in Adolescence
Secure autonomous Dismissing avoidant
Rejected by caregiver; deny importance of attachment; related to violent behavior
Preoccupied ambivalent Attachment seeking; parent inconsistently available;
high conflict Unresolved disorganized
Had traumatic experience; disoriented, fearful
Adult Attachment Styles
Secure – good relationships: trust; not concerned about being abandoned, sees self-as worthy, well-liked
Insecure avoidant – difficulty establishing relationships; quickly end relationships; suppresses attachment needs due to having been rebuffed
Ambivalent – less trusting, more jealous, tend to anger and emotional intensity, anxiety over concern that need for intimacy will not be reciprocated
Economic model of rewards and costs
Relationship satisfaction based on: Rewards and costs Relationship deserved Chances of a better relationship
Social Exchange Theory
Terms – Comparison level – expectations, relationship
satisfaction depends on this
Comparison level for alternatives – What are your chances of a better relationship? Also affects relationship satisfaction
Social Exchange Theory
The theory that relationship commitment depends on not only the comparison level and comparison level for alternatives, but on how much they have invested in the relationship and stand to lose if they leave.
Investment Model
The best relationships are those where both parties are making roughly equal contributions (and rewards = costs).
These relationships are the most stable and the happiest.
Equity Theory
Low cost, high reward
Does not devote enough time and effort to the relationship
One Person Over-benefitted
High-cost, low reward
Devotes much time and energy
Inequity more important to this person
One-person Underbenefitted
In America, the divorce rate is nearly 50% of the current marriage rate (Probably more realistically 30% overall).
Ending Relationships
Actively harming the relationship: Partner abuse Threatening to leave Leaving
Passively permitting deterioration: Ignoring partner refusing to deal with problems
Behavior in Troubled Relationships
Constructive BehaviorsPassive loyalty
waiting and being optimisticnot fighting, being supportive
Active Attempts to Improvediscussing problemsgoing to counselingtrying to change
Behavior in Troubled Relationships
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