listening.. what is listening?...i’m glad you asked! the receiving part of the communication...

listening.

What is Listening?...I’m glad you asked!

• The Receiving part of the communication Process

• Making a conscious effort to hearWe remember 25% of what we hearListening=Comprehending what a

person saysHearing=Automatic reaction to noise

4 ways to listen

1. Appreciative Listening- Enjoying Music

2. Discriminative Listening- Singling out one sound from a noisy environment

3. Empathetic Listening- Encourages people to talk freely

4. Critical Listening- Deciding if a message is logical, worthwhile, or has value

The Truth About Listening• We prefer speaking to listening

(we speak 120-180 words/min…women are closer to the 180…we are the more talkative sex)

• We shape what we hear to fit what we expect (in other words, we listen to what we want to listen to and ignore the other stuff…aka- your mom asking you to do work around the house and you tune her out…let’s be real!)

• The responsibility for successful communication doesn’t lie with the

person doing the talking!

Listening requires a great deal of effort. We don’t remember most of what we hear. Becoming an active listener will help you in your relationships. Among the biggest hurdles to good listening is the desire to speak…shut up and listen!

7 Bad Habits of Listening1.“The Tuner Outer”-

Tunes out dull topics because he doesn’t think it’s relevant

• Mr. Tuner Outer needs to look for something he can use (ideas, quotes, stories) Not everything is lame and boring!

7 Bad Habits Cont’d2. “The Faker”- Fakes like he

is paying attention to someone when really he is somewhere else.

3. “The Distracted”-Yields to distractions and noises around him while someone is speaking.( He is distracted by little things i.e.-someone sneezing, the A/C, a baby crying in church…stuff like that.)

7 Bad Habits Cont’d4. “The Jumper”- Jumps to

conclusions, interrupts, asks lots of questions. Often has biases and has trouble staying open minded…we will talk more about this in another chapter.

5. “The Over Reactor”-Over reacts to emotional words or “Hot Buttons” (words causing emotions or controversy i.e.-abortion, the death penalty, euthanasia)

7 Bad Habits Cont’d6. “The Interrupter”- His motto is “I never listen because I am too eager to speak”

He is the most annoying of ALL!

7. “The Criticizer”-Criticizes delivery or physical appearance of the person talking.

Don’t be this guy…the guy that tunes people out based on someone’s accent, clothing, mannerisms, disabilities, etc.

Listening Filters•Based on background and personalities

•Education•Age•Biases•Attitude•Religion•Emotions•Family•Morals

Tips To Being A Good Listener•Refrain from judging or evaluating others

•Focus your attention on the message

•Search for areas where you agree with the person talking

•Keep an open mind

Introducing Others• Remembering a Persons Name

1.Repeat the person’s name 2 to 3 times in your first conversation

2. Relate the name to something familiar

3. Develop a determination to remember

Professional Etiquette

• Introduce the older, more senior, or more powerful person first (ex: you would introduce your parent to your girlfriend or boyfriend first, you would introduce your boss to your friend first)

• When you are introduced: Make eye contact, hand greeting, and comment using the new person’s name (shake Hands “web-to-web”)

Definitions to know…don’t worry, it’s just 2…

•Passive Listening- Feeling that the responsibility for communication lies with the speaker (passive Listening=LAZY LISTENING!)

•False Comparison- Comparing unlike things

FIN