masterclass handout - dealing with people you cant stand

Know what to do when…

Dealing with people you can’t stand

Agenda

1. Expectations2. First attempt3. The test4. Tools & insights

Expectations

Diplomacy

Appreciative Inquiry

Appreciative Inquiry

Discovery Dream

DesignDestiny

Definition

Appreciating the best of what is

Envisioning what could be

Sustaining what will be

Co-constructing what should be

Appreciative

Recognize and value the best

in people

Help them to move towards their potential

Inquiry

What is/was working well, that you need

to do more of?

Explore

Discover

Appreciative Learning

Learn to fail, or fail to learn

Tal Ben-Shahar

Dealing with resistance

Others

Yourself

Power2Improve communication model

ContentProcess

Relationship

Personal Program

Emotions

Rational phase

Anihilation through self sacrification

Anihilation of enemy

Limited damage doing

Threathening

Damaged self image

Image and coalitions

Deeds

Debate

Glasl Conflict ladder

Toughening

Emotional

phaseB

attle phase

How to deal with unstandables

How to deal with unstandables

How to deal with unstandables

How to deal with unstandables

How to deal with unstandables

How to deal with unstandables

How to deal with unstandables

Dimensions & Personas

Task Focus

Passive

People Focus

Active

Normal behavior

Whiner

No

Nothing

Nothing

Yes

Maybe

Tank

Professor

Sniper

Sniper

Grenade

Fake Professor

Dealing with the Tank

✓Goal: Command respect

✓Strategy:1. Hold your ground.2. Interrupt the assault.3. Immediately go back to the core.4. Aim for the outcome and fire.5. Peace with honor.

Dealing with the Sniper

✓Goal: Uncover the Sniper

✓Strategy:1. Stop, look, track back.2. Use search light questions.3. Use Tank Strategy if needed.4. Go on a blame patrol.5. Propose a civil future.

Dealing with the Grenade

✓Goal: Control the situation

✓Strategy:1. Grab attention.2. Aim for the heart.3. Reduce intensity.4. Allow time for good behavior.0. Grenade prevention.

Dealing with the Professor

✓Goal: Open for new ideas

✓Strategy:1. Be prepared and know your case.2. Track back respectfully.3. Mix with their doubts and desires.4. Present indirectly.5. Make the Professor a mentor.

Dealing with the Fake Professor

✓Goal: Disarm the bad ideas

✓Strategy:1. Give some personal attention.2. Clear up the details.3. Tell how it (really) is.4. Be soft on the person.5. Interrupt the pattern.

Dealing with the Yes

✓Goal: Get real commitment

✓Strategy:1. Make honest through safety.2. Be honest.3. Help the person (learn to) plan.4. Create commitment.5. Improve the relationship.

Dealing with the Maybe

✓Goal: Help (learning) to chose

✓Strategy:1. Create a comfort zone.2. Clarify conflicts and options.3. Use decision making proces.4. Put at ease.. and then move on.5. Improve the relationship.

Dealing with the Nothing

✓Goal: Seduction to talk.

✓Strategy:1. Plan for enough time.2. Pose expecting questions.3. Make/keep it light.4. Guess.5. Show the future.

Dealing with the No

✓Goal: Move to problemsolving

✓Strategy:1. ‘Go with the flow’.2. Use the person as resource.3. Leave the door open.4. Polarize and flip it around.5. Recognize and note the good intentions.

Dealing with the Whiner

✓Goal: Problem solving alliance

✓Strategy:1. Listen for main themes and core.2. Interrupt and make specific.3. Shift focus to solutions.4. Show the future.5. Draw a line.

Questions?

Gustaaf.Vocking@Power2Improve.com.