masterclass handout - dealing with people you cant stand
TRANSCRIPT
Know what to do when…
Dealing with people you can’t stand
Agenda
1. Expectations2. First attempt3. The test4. Tools & insights
Expectations
Diplomacy
Appreciative Inquiry
Appreciative Inquiry
Discovery Dream
DesignDestiny
Definition
Appreciating the best of what is
Envisioning what could be
Sustaining what will be
Co-constructing what should be
Appreciative
Recognize and value the best
in people
Help them to move towards their potential
Inquiry
What is/was working well, that you need
to do more of?
Explore
Discover
Appreciative Learning
Learn to fail, or fail to learn
Tal Ben-Shahar
Dealing with resistance
Others
Yourself
Power2Improve communication model
ContentProcess
Relationship
Personal Program
Emotions
Rational phase
Anihilation through self sacrification
Anihilation of enemy
Limited damage doing
Threathening
Damaged self image
Image and coalitions
Deeds
Debate
Glasl Conflict ladder
Toughening
Emotional
phaseB
attle phase
How to deal with unstandables
How to deal with unstandables
How to deal with unstandables
How to deal with unstandables
How to deal with unstandables
How to deal with unstandables
How to deal with unstandables
Dimensions & Personas
Task Focus
Passive
People Focus
Active
Normal behavior
Whiner
No
Nothing
Nothing
Yes
Maybe
Tank
Professor
Sniper
Sniper
Grenade
Fake Professor
Dealing with the Tank
✓Goal: Command respect
✓Strategy:1. Hold your ground.2. Interrupt the assault.3. Immediately go back to the core.4. Aim for the outcome and fire.5. Peace with honor.
Dealing with the Sniper
✓Goal: Uncover the Sniper
✓Strategy:1. Stop, look, track back.2. Use search light questions.3. Use Tank Strategy if needed.4. Go on a blame patrol.5. Propose a civil future.
Dealing with the Grenade
✓Goal: Control the situation
✓Strategy:1. Grab attention.2. Aim for the heart.3. Reduce intensity.4. Allow time for good behavior.0. Grenade prevention.
Dealing with the Professor
✓Goal: Open for new ideas
✓Strategy:1. Be prepared and know your case.2. Track back respectfully.3. Mix with their doubts and desires.4. Present indirectly.5. Make the Professor a mentor.
Dealing with the Fake Professor
✓Goal: Disarm the bad ideas
✓Strategy:1. Give some personal attention.2. Clear up the details.3. Tell how it (really) is.4. Be soft on the person.5. Interrupt the pattern.
Dealing with the Yes
✓Goal: Get real commitment
✓Strategy:1. Make honest through safety.2. Be honest.3. Help the person (learn to) plan.4. Create commitment.5. Improve the relationship.
Dealing with the Maybe
✓Goal: Help (learning) to chose
✓Strategy:1. Create a comfort zone.2. Clarify conflicts and options.3. Use decision making proces.4. Put at ease.. and then move on.5. Improve the relationship.
Dealing with the Nothing
✓Goal: Seduction to talk.
✓Strategy:1. Plan for enough time.2. Pose expecting questions.3. Make/keep it light.4. Guess.5. Show the future.
Dealing with the No
✓Goal: Move to problemsolving
✓Strategy:1. ‘Go with the flow’.2. Use the person as resource.3. Leave the door open.4. Polarize and flip it around.5. Recognize and note the good intentions.
Dealing with the Whiner
✓Goal: Problem solving alliance
✓Strategy:1. Listen for main themes and core.2. Interrupt and make specific.3. Shift focus to solutions.4. Show the future.5. Draw a line.
