ministry to vets and families

As of: 17June 2009POC: Rob Meyer, CH (LTC) Ret., USA Email: rjmeyer@iowatelecom.net

To help us understand the impact of war and deployments upon Soldiers and FAMILIES (Part 2) . . . . And how pastors, churches, and leaders can assist

them “Back Home.” (Part 3)

…to be tolerant of people who live in the “other” world of materialism.

…to control oneself when people drive

“crazy.”

To understand . . . Why others seem to ignore all the cost and sacrifice.

…to be silent ... and remember.

…to remember familiar drone of a dustoff helicopter.

to not laugh . . . when anxious parents are afraid to send their kids off to summer camp . . . For just a few days.

…to not ridicule someonewho complains about hot weather.

to remember . . . the young . . . with no more tomorrows.

…to pause and remember . . .

…how to be civil and polite . . when people say, “You are spending too much time

away from home.”

All the missed vacations and time with your family.

…to be forgiving . . when someone says how hard it is to have a new baby in the

house.

to not be angry . . . .

The only thing harder than being a Soldier… Marine, Airman, or Sailor

As of: 17June 2009POC: Rob Meyer, CH (LTC) Ret., USA Email: rjmeyer@iowatelecom.net is loving one.

BATTLE MIND (Definition)

“Battle Mind” – the Soldier’s inner strength to face fear and adversity in combat with courage . . . and resiliency.Key components of “Battle Mind” include:

• Self-confidence– Take calculated risks– Handle future challenges

• Mental toughness– Overcome obstacles or setbacks– Maintain positive thoughts during times of adversity and challenge

• Web Sites: http://www.battlemind.orghttp://www.armyg1.army.mil/dcs/training.asp

• FM 4-02.51 (FM 8-51): Combat and Operational Stress Control

• Walter Reed Institute of Research, Land Combat Study, 2004

• Slide Presentation: When a Soldier Comes Home from War, CPT Alison L. Crane, RN, MS; Mental Health Nurse OC/T, 7302nd MED TSB

REFERENCES

• Approximately 10-15% of Veterans develop PTSD after deployments.• An additional 10% have significant symptoms of depression, anxiety, or PTSD and may benefit from care.• However, many Soldiers in need of mental health care still don’t seek help, due to stigma and other barriers.

Quick Summary

• Difficulty sleeping • Intrusive thoughts of the war or other trauma • Use of alcohol or other drugs to cope with problems • A feeling of isolation from family and friends • A numbing of feelings or avoidance of situations • Anxiety • Depression • Anger • Guilt • Nightmares.

Deployment Cycle – 7 Phases

Phase 1 - Mobilization

For the Military Member and Family – • Anticipation of loss • Train-up / long hours away • Getting affairs in order • Mental/physical distancing• Some Arguments

• Avoid:

• “Where / When Questions”

• Pulpit Announcements

• Soldiers and Family Often Feel Alone and Isolated

• Home visitation: ( Pastoral Visit)

• Offer Prayer and Encouragement.

• Theme - “We Will Be With You Through All of This!”

Response of the Church During Phase 1 - Mobilization

• Wives Chain:

• Offer to Watch the Kids

• Phone calls (1 or 2 per week)

• Take “To Lunch” . . . Be a listening Ear!

• Avoid: “Don’t know how you do it!”

• Church – Important Information (phone #s):

• Rear Detachment Chaplain

• Rear Detachment Commander & Unit

• HELP Agencies phone numbers:

Military One Source – 800-342-9647

http://www.militaryonesource.com

Red Cross Chapter - (Listed in local telephone directories) www.redcross.org –

Veterans Affairs – Local Yellow Pages

Phase 2 - Deployment

For Military Member and Family -

• Mixed Emotions / Relief • Overwhelmed • Numb, Sad, Alone • Sleep Difficulty • Security Issues

Phase 2 - Deployment

Family Adjustments (> 90 days) –

• New routines established • New sources of support • Feel more in control • Independence • Confidence (“I can do this”)

• Provide “Help Ministry” to Family:

• Vehicle Maintenance (i.e. Service, Cleaning)

• Lawn and Yard Work

• Sporting Events, Family Get Togethers

• On Call Handy Repair - Plumbing & Electrical

• Home Visitation

• Provide Ministry to Service Member:

• Congregational Prayer & Church Newsletters

• Get APO Address from Family: Send Letters Get Updates from Family (One Point of Contact)

What the Home Church Can Do During Phase 2 - Deployment

Phase 3 - Redeployment

Military Member and Family –

• Anticipation of homecoming • Excitement • Apprehension • Burst of energy - ”nesting” • Difficulty making decisions

• Church “Stand To”:

• Work Group Offers Assistance to the Family (e.g. Painting, Yard Work, and Cleaning)

• Start Plans for Special Event “Welcome Back Celebration” (involve Community)

• Consider Plans for Church Sponsored “Gathering” Event for Veterans Across the Community:

“Safe Setting”

Listening to Each Other and Healing

Response of the Church During Phase 3 – Redeployment

Phase 4 - Post Deployment

Veteran and Family –

• Honeymoon period • Loss of independence • Need for “own” space • Renegotiating routines • Reintegrating into family

• Remember every Vet has a unique story to tell about their time deployment.

• Don’t be surprised if there have been changes in appearance and attitude.

• Don’t be surprised if you hear anger or frustrations.

• Invite the Vet and Family to share what God taught them during the deployment.

• Offer warmth and acceptance

• Allow the Soldier to sit where they want if you go out to eat.

• Expect it will take time for complete healing.

Give the Veteran some “Time and Space:”

Pastors and Churches -

• Remember MILITARY ONESOURCE

• Role of the church: hold vets and families in loving care and concern as they go through the PD transition home.

• Restore gently. For example, “I understand this may be a difficult for you initially just coming back from war . . But you might want to look at whether you want to continue this pattern of X.”

• Don’t pressure to Speak or Teach.

• When the time is right . . . Publically Welcome the Family and Vet Back Home.

• Avoid large gathering and loud noises.

What the Home Church Can Do During -Post Deployment

Phase 4 - Post Deployment

Discussion Point –

• What Has Worked Well in Your Church? • Conclusion

Help Them Re-adjust Back Home!

ministry to vets and families

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