mosier, ja mt. angel seminary - science and faith in...

Mosier,JAMt.AngelSeminary

2016InternationalEssayCompetition

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“ForsotheLordcommandedus,‘IhavemadeyoualighttotheGentiles,thatyoumaybeaninstrumentofsalvationtotheendsoftheearth’”.1

Sometimes,anexperiencewehaveinlifeissobig,soprofoundandimpactful,thatweshyawayfromtryingtodescribeit.Ourtentativenessisbornintherealizationthathumanlanguageandwordsseemwoefullyinadequatetoproperlycapturethemoment,andwejealouslyguardourmemoriesoftheevent.Itisnotuntilweunderstandtheeventinitsfullunveilingthatwewillattempttodescribeit,andwhenitsmeaningisrevealed,wewanttotelleveryonewecan.IimaginethejointexperienceoftheApostlesPeter,James,andJohnwassomethinglikethis,astheylayprostratebeforeChristonthemountainatthemomentofhistransfiguration.OurGospelwritertellsus,“His(Jesus)faceshonelikethesun,andhisclothesbecamewhiteaslight”.2Thisyear’sessaycompetitioninvitestheapplicantstodescribetheinfluenceofscienceonone’svocationorministry.Perhapslikethethreeapostlesonthemountain,Imyselfhaveseenthelight,shininglikethesun,andwhenIraisedmyeyes,I“sawnooneelsebutJesusalone”.3Thisessaywillattempttodescribemyineffableexperienceasamanufacturingexecutiveinacancerresearchfacility,workingtodevelopandbuildthemachinesthatemploymultifunctionalNanoparticlesforcancerdiagnosisandtherapy.Thiscareercallingandexperiencewasmadeevermoresurreal,asIwassimultaneouslytendingtomywifewhowasdyingofcanceratayoungage,urgingonherownprivateraceforthecureTM.4 MyjourneytotheCatholicpriesthoodbeganinmyyouth,wherelikescoresofotheryoungmenwhoservedthealtaratMass,Ifelttheinitialinspirationtowardsthispossiblevocation.Fastforwardintimetohighschool,IwasthoroughlyenamoredwithandacademicallyaffirmedbymystudiesinBiology,Chemistry,andPhysics.Ihadvisitedseveralseminarieson“ComeandSee”weekends,butanaptitudeinscience,combinedwiththedesiretoraiseafamilyofmyown,ledmetochoosematriculationintoMarquetteUniversitytostudyPhysicsratherthanapplytoSeminary.Myinitialareaofinterestwaselectromagneticradiationandoptics.Respectingthesuggestedboundariesforouressays,andthereforejumpingaheadagainmanyyearsto2008,IwasthenoverseeingtheNorthAmericanmanufacturingoperationsforoneoftheworld’sleadingprovidersofelectronmicroscopyandnanotechnologyresearchtools.Butmoreimportantly,IwasthehusbandofanamazingwomannamedJackie.

1NewAmericanBible,RevisedEdition.FiresidePublishing.Wichita,KS.2011.Print.Acts13.472NABMatthew17.23NABMatthew17.84“RacefortheCure”istheTrademarklogooftheSusanG.KomenFoundation.ww5.komen.org

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Somedefinitionswillhelpestablishcontext.NanoscienceandNanotechnologyaretermsthatwerefirstcreatedbyProfessorNorioTaniguchi,TokyoUniversity,in1974.5Theyrefertothearenaofscientificresearchthatincludestheviewingandmanipulationofindividualatoms,molecules,andassociatedstructures.Myemployeratthetimewasanindependentresearch,design,andmanufacturingcompanynamedFEICorporation,headquarterednearPortland,Oregon.FEIisnowthecenterpieceofthe$2Billionmicroscopyandnanotechnologysub-divisionofthe$17BillionglobalbiotechnologygiantThermo-Fisher.Oureverydayworkinvolvedtheimagingandnavigationofenergyparticlesandplasmabeams(electrons,ions,andphotons)inthebillionthsofameterrange.Usingourtransmissionandelectronmicroscopes,ourresearchteamsandcustomerscouldimageandmanipulateorganicandmanufacturedstructuresdowntotheisolatednucleusofindividualatoms.Incomparison,thesheetofcopierpaperyouarepresentlyholdinginyourhand,isover100,000nanometersthick.Ourmostpowerfultransmissionmicroscope,theTitan80-300TM,(Figure1)enabledourinstrumentoperatorstoimageobjectssmallerthan1nanometerinwidth.6Wecouldimagethesmalleststructureoflifeitself.

Figure1.FEITitan80-300TM Figure2.FEITitanimage:<1nmnucleusofagoldatomWhileouruniquetechnologyofferedourresearchcustomersinnovativesolutionsinmanydifferentapplications,itwasourworkinlifesciences,specificallyhumanterminalillnesses,thatIfoundthemostcompelling.Aparticularareainwhichwesawtremendousadvancementduringmytenure,andthathadadirectinfluenceonmyvocationtopriesthood,wasourworkincancerdetectionandtherapy.

5www.nano.govOctober10th,20166www.fei.com/products/TEM/TitanOctober10th,2016

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“Cancerisageneticallyrooteddiseasethatinvolvesthesimultaneousoccurrenceoftwogeneralcategoriesofcellularmalfunctions”.7Inthefirstinstance,thecellularcontrolmechanismscanbeanalogouslydescribedasanoutofcontrolautomobilewiththegaspedalstucktothefloor.Amutationoccurswithinthecellthatsetsthegenecodedreplicationinstructionsat“fullon”,resultinginrapidanduncontrolledcelldivisionandreplacement.Thesecondmalfunction,labeledthe“apopstosiscomplex”,disablesthenaturalcelldeathmechanisms,compoundingtheproblemofrapidcelldivision.8Canceristhusthecoincidentoccurrenceofthesetwophenomenawithinthebody.Therapidlygrowinganddividingcellsformclusters,andtheseclustersbegintoreleasechemicalsthatpromoteabnormallyfastcapillarygrowth.Thesurroundingtissuesareseverelydamagedasvitalnutrientsaredivertedthroughthenewcapillariesfeedingthecluster.Cellclustersofthistypearerecognizedasmalignanttumors,andwhencellsfromthistumorousclusterbreakfreeandenterthebloodstream,thediseasetransitionsintowhatisknownasthemetastaticphase.Untreated,thisconditionwillkilltheindividualveryquickly. Thosewords,“terminaldiseasewithprogressiontodeathwithinsixyears”,weretheunexpectedshockJackieandIreceivedinherinitialdiagnosesfouryearsearlier.Shehadundergonethetraditionalandconventionaltherapies;radiation,mastectomy,andchemotherapy.Thechemotherapyregimens,inparticularthoseinvolvingthemostcommonlyprescribedagentInterferonTM9,aresystem-wideintroductionsoftoxinsthatindiscriminatelykillhealthyaswellascancerouscells.Theusualsideeffectsincludeseverheadaches,hairloss,weakenedimmunesystem,severejointpain,visiondistortion,andflu-likesymptoms.Theexperienceisanightmareforthepatient,andheartbreakingforfamilymembersandclosefriends.WalkingthehallwaysoftheChemotherapyWardinthehospital,acommonquipfromthepatientsreceivingtheirtwice-monthlyinfusionsisthatthetreatmentisworsethanthedisease. JackieandIhadmetinGraduateSchool,andmarriedinherhometownCatholicChurchsoonaftergraduation.Duringtheeightyearspriortoherdiagnosis,weenjoyedacomfortablelifecadencedbyactivitieswithfamily,friends,andourcareers.Wewereabletotravel,andsharedmanywonderfulmomentsandexperiences.Oursharedfaithhadbeenaconstantandcentralelementofourlifetogether,butwiththereceiptofherterminaldiagnosis,Isawherfaithevenmorebeautifullyrevealed.HerbeliefinGod’spresenceandprovisionwasaconstantinourearlymorningorlatenightchats,andastabilizingforceinlivessuddenlythrustintoturmoilanduncertainty.Asherdiseaseprogressed,wespentincreasedtimeinprayerandScripturalmeditation.Itwasduringthesedarkestdaysof

7Mansoori,Ali.,PercivalMcCormack.“Nanotechnologyincancerprevention,detection,andtreatment”.WorldReviewofScience,Technology,andSustainableDevelopment.Vol.4,Nos.2/3,2007.pp.229.Print.8Mansoori.pp.2299www.chemocare.com/chemotherapy/druginfo/InterferonOctober10th,2016

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doubtandfearthatourCreatorGod’slightbegantoshine,andthetruthofJesusChristprofoundlyconfirmed.Heusedmydailyworkenvironmenttomanifesthispresence. Mycolleaguesatworkwereprofessionallymotivedtosucceedintheirdailyefforts,butknowingthespouseofaworkmatesufferingwiththisdiseaseseemedtomaketheworkevenmorepersonal.Emergingcancerresearchinthefieldofnanotechnologywasaggressivelypursuingseveralparalleltracks.Onetrackinparticular,multifunctionalnanoparticles,offersexcitingpromise.Nanoparticlesarenaturallyorsyntheticallyderivedmicroscopic(<5nm)“machines”thatleveragethebody’sbiologicalprocesses,andcanbedesignedtoencapsulatetherapeuticagents,usedintargeting,imaging,andtreatment.10Theycanbeengineeredtoexhibituniqueoptical,magnetic,andelectricalproperties,andtheirmodularityallowsfunctionalmoietiestobeinterchangedorcombined.Moresimplysaid,theyarethetrue“magicbullet”ofsciencefictionlore.

Figure3.Schematicdepictionofamultifunctionalnanoparticle.Ahypotheticalnanoparticletargetsthetumor,sensesandreportsmolecularsignatures,anddeliversatherapeuticinresponsetoanexternalorbiologicaltrigger.(FromRuoslahti,E.,CancerCell,2,97–98,2002.)

“AndGodsaid,‘Behold,Ihavegivenyoueveryplantyieldingseedthat isonthefaceofalltheearth,andeverytreewithseedinitsfruit.You shallhavethemforfood’”.11 Twoformationsofnanoparticleshadbeenshowingthemostpromiseininitialresearch.Thefirstinvolvedloadingthenanoparticleupasa“cargocarrier”thatwoulddeliverthemedicinedirectlytothetargetsite.Usingnanoparticulatesasdrugcarriersoffersmanyadvantages.Itavoidsthetraditionalsystemicinfusionofchemicalswithhigh

10Sengupta,S.etal.,“Temporaltargetingoftumorcellsandneovasculaturewithnanoscaledeliverysystem”.Nature,436,568-572,2005.Print.11HolyBible.EnglishStandardVersion.OxfordUniversityPress.NewYork,NY.2006Genesis1.29Print.

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collateraltoxicity,itextendsthehalf-livesofthetherapeuticagentsinthebloodstream(delayingmetastasis),anditconcentratesdrugdeliveryatthespecifictumorsite.Themostcommonlyemployedagentormedicine,PaclitaxelTMisanorganiccompoundderivedfromthePacificYewTree(Taxusbrevifolia).12Myworkwithcolleaguesduringtheday,andmyreturntoScriptureathomeintheeveningwithJackiebegantooverlap.ThemosteffectiveagentwehadwasfreelyavailabletohumanitythroughGod’screation. Thesecondmodeofnanoparticledeploymentinvolvestheabsorptionoflightbycommerciallyavailablegoldatoms.Goldatomsarepeculiarinthattheyhaveveryhighelectrondensity,whichisbeneficialinaconcentratedmagneticfield.Further,theyreacttopulsesofelectromagneticradiationinverypredictableways,andtheyreadilyabsorblaserradiationandconvertittoheat.13Scientistsandengineerslikepredictabilityandefficiency! “Allthingsweremadethroughhim,andwithouthimwasnotanything made.Inhimwaslife,andthelifewasthelightofmen.Thelightshines inthedarkness,andthedarknesshasnotovercomeit”.14Byapplyinganengineeredmolecularcoatingtotheindividualgoldspheres,andinfusingthelocalareaaroundthetumorcellswithasimilarlyrecognizedmolecularmatch,researcherscancreatea“Velcrolike”scenariowherethegoldnanoparticlesadherespecificallytothetargetcells.Then,byfocusingabeamoflightenergyinmicrobursts(<10nano-seconds)onthetumorsite,thenanoparticlesexperiencehyperrapidtemperatureincreases(measuredinthousandsofdegreesKelvin),andkillthecorrespondingtumorcelltowhichtheyareadhered.15Giventhatthelightenergyapplicationislocalizedandmeasuredinbillionthsofasecond,thepatienthasnosensoryexperience.Thehumanbodythenharmlesslyflushesthedeadtumorcellsandparticlesthroughitsnormalbloodcirculation. “Iamthelightoftheworld.Whoeverfollowsmewillnotwalkindarkness, butwillhavethelightoflife”.16 EventhoughmycolleaguesandIrepresentedamixofnationalitiesandethnicities,includingdifferingfaithperspectives,webegantoinformallyrefertothedevelopmentandproto-typinglabasthe“GodRoom”.Wewerereadinginpeer-reviewedliterature,andwereseeingbeforeourveryeyesthetruthoftheScripturalstatementsaboutChrist.Publically,thedarknessofcancerwasbeingdestroyedthroughtheapplicationofpurelight.

12Mansoori.pp.23613Mansoori.pp.23714ESV.John1.3-515Mansoori.pp.23816ESV.John8.12

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Andprivately,thedarknessofmyemotionalagonywasbeingliftedbythelightofChrist’spresenceintheheart,soul,andmindofmydyingwife. ThefinalyearofJackie’slifewasbothchallengingandbeautiful.Shelivedsofully,andextractedthemaximumfromeachday.Herstoicisminthefaceofadvancingdeathwasadisplayofbraveryrarelyseenamongthemostnoble.Hercompassionandconcernforotherswassopronounced,manyhadnoawarenessthathertimeonearthwasmeasuredinrapidlydissolvingmonths.TheultimateprivilegeIhaveknowninthislifewastohaveheldherasshebreathedherlast,safelyinourhome,justthetwoofuswithChrist,onSeptember14th,2008. ThefirstyearfollowingJackie’sdeathincludedpostingtoamulti-yearinternationalassignmentatourEuropeanresearchandmanufacturingcenter.Iwasgratefulforthechangeinvenueandthetimedemandsthatkeptmeintheofficelateorsittingonanairplane,asthetransitiontoalifealonewasdifficult.ThetimeIdidhavealoneinmysmallapartmentinEindhoven(Holland)exposedmetotheworksofThomasKempis,Augustine,AquinasandotherluminariesIhadforgottenaboutornotabsorbedduringmyJesuitdaysatMarquette.ThetruthofChrist,andthenecessaryintegrationoffaithandreasontorecognizethattruth,seemedsoobviousandauthentic.Isawnoconflictbetweenmyprofessedfaith,andtheengineereddiscoveriesinthelab.Theyweresymbioticallyaffirming.Yes,thetechnologymycolleaguesandothersthroughouttheworldweredevelopingwasgroundedinempiricalproofs.Yes,thetruthofScriptureisanobservable,physicalreality.Butmostimportantly,yes,itrequiresfaithtoappreciatethesourceandfoundationtothemysteriesandmiraclesthatscientificprotocolsreveal.MyworkallowedmycolleaguesandItolookupontheverystructureoflifeitself,towitnesstheformationanddestructionoflifeattheatomiclevel.Ittakesyourbreathaway. LectiodivinaintheeveningsoonexpandedintoadesiretovisitsomeofthemanyreligioussitesandshrinesthatdottheEuropeanmap.WeekendtripstoLourdesinFrance,KaevelarinGermany,andthebasilicainBruges,Belgiuminvitedmedeeperintomyfaith.Walkingthesmoothwornstonepathsthatpilgrimshavetreadforcenturies,andmeetingcontemporarytravelersalongtheway,openedmyeyestonewtreasuriesofbeliefamongthoseseekingChrist.Somethingmoreprofoundwashappeningtome.Justastheagentladennanoparticlesattachthemselvestothetargetsiteanddeliverhealing,thewisdomderivedfromtimespentinlectio,Scripture,andprayerbegantomolecularlyattachtomyconsciousness.Similarly,justasthegoldcoatednanospherescouldburnawaythetumorcellswhenplacedinproximityandradiatedwithlight,theintenselightofChristbegantoburnawaytheworldlinessandshallownessthathadmetastasizedinmylife. Theinteriortransformationbecamemorepronouncedastimeprogressed.UponreturntotheUnitedStates,Ibegantodivestmyselfofthemanyitemsandmaterialluxuriesthatmycareerhadafforded.Isoldmyhouse,gaveawayfurnitureandautomobiles,andvastlysimplifiedmylife.TheauthenticityofpeopleIhadmetalongthepilgrimpath,andin

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volunteerministryopportunitiesinmylocalparish,reflectedthesamebrightlightoftheCreatorGodIwasobservingthroughourinstrumentsatwork.Iwantedtosharethatlight. Apromotionandincreasedmaterialrewardssoonfollowed,buttheywereindirectcontrasttothatwhichIhaddiscoveredmotivatedmeatmycore.Iwasfascinatedbythetechnology,butmoreintriguedandenergizedaboutthesimpleactofbeingavailableforpeopleintheirmomentsofneedorvulnerability.Makingtimetolistentoanemployee,reallylisten,astheyworkedthroughsomechallengeinlife,or,stuffinggrocerysacksinthelocalfoodpantry,weretheactivitiesthatincreasinglygotmeexcited.AlmostfiveyearstothedayafterJackie’sdeath,Iresignedmycorporateposition,andstartedinafull-timeMastersofDivinityprogramwiththegoalofbecomingaCatholicChaplain. Duringthefirstyearofthethree-yearDivinityprogram,mySpiritualDirector,theProgram’sChairman,andmylocalPastorallaskedmeifIhadconsideredordainedlife.(Istilldon’tknowifitwasacoordinatedeffort!)Theirgenuineinquirygotmethinkingagainaboutthatvocationseedplantedinmyyouth.MyprivatestudyofScripturestartedtosettleuponkeypassagesthatstayedwithmethroughouttheday: “Iwillmakeyouasalightforthenations,thatmysalvationmayreach totheendoftheearth.”17 “AndIheardthevoiceoftheLordsaying,‘WhomshallIsend,andwho willgoforus?’ThenIsaid,‘HereIam!Sendme’”.18Afterahalfyearoffurtherdiscernment,Icontactedmydiocesanvocationsdirector,andenteredMt.AngelSeminarytwomonthslater.Godhasrichlyblessedthatdecision. Myjourneytothepriesthoodbeganinmyyouth,andisbeingactivelypursuednowinmymiddleyears.Butthejourneyinbetweenwasanecessaryone.Theexperiencesasahusbandtoanamazingwife,andthescientificallybasedproofofGodand“mountaintopexperience”ofviewingthevisiblelightofChristjustasdidPeter,James,andJohn,haveenergizedmycallinganddesiretobringthatlighttoeveryoneIencounter.Iwanttobean“instrumentofsalvation”asLuketellsusinActs.AstheblessedCardinalJohnNewmanprayed, “DearJesus,penetrateandpossesourwholebeing,soutterly,that ourlivesmaybeonlyaradianceofyours.Shinethroughus,andbeso inus,thateverysoulwecomeincontactwithmayfeelyourpresence inoursoul.Letthemlookupandnolongerseeus,butonlyJesus”.19

17ESV.Isaiah49.618ESV.Isaiah6.819Watkins,Rev.JamesD.ManualofPrayers.PontificalNorthAmericanCollege.Rome.2011.pp.24.Print.

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Addendum:

AuthorasHusbandAuthorasOperationsResearcherAuthorasSeminarianTheauthorisinhissecondyearofTheologystudyingfortheDioceseofBoiseatMt.AngelSeminaryinSt.Benedict,Oregon.Priortoenteringseminary,hewasaSeniorVicePresidentforaglobalbiotechnologycompany.HeholdsdegreesinBusinessandEngineeringfromMarquetteUniversityandTexasA&MUniversityintheUnitedStates,andJohannes-KeplerUniversitaetinAustria.