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Personal
Effectiveness
An Interactive Workshop on
Dr.Najam Abbas
najm_naqvi@yahoo.com , 0321-5041155
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Knowing Each Other
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WE
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Mood MeterPrisoners - Vacationers - Sponges
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Clear the deck
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Workshop Expectations
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Video ClipLegacy
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To live, To love, To learn,
To leave a legacy
The need to live, to love, to learn, to
leave a legacy, are basic to every humanbeing. When these are not met, we feelhollow inside regardless of whether we
consciously admit to this or not .
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Personal Effectiveness
in LiteratureO Effective Time Management
O Stress Management
O Conflict Management
O Thinking Skills
O The Art of Communication
O Negotiation SkillsO Finding Yourself
O Leadership Skills
O Motivational Techniques
O How to Win Others
O Avoiding Procrastination
O
Achieving GreatnessO Getting Private Victory
O Cherishing Public Victory
O The Art of Assertiveness
O ….
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Our Workshop Plan
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Book Worm Calculator
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Stephen R. Covey
O Stephen R. Covey (1932–2012) was an
internationally respected leadership
authority, family expert, teacher,
organizational consultant, and author
O Recognized as one of Time magazine’s
twenty-five most influential Americans
O His books have sold more than 25 million
copies in thirty-eight languages, and The 7
Habits of Highly Effective People was namedthe 1 Most Influential Business Book of the
Twentieth Century.
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Why To Choose
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“Stephen Covey has written a remarkablebook about the human condition, so
elegantly written, so understanding of ourembedded concerns, so useful for our
organization and personal lives, that it'sgoing to be my gift to everyone I know”
Warren Bennis, author of On Becoming a Leader
Book Review
“ Habits of Effective People”
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“I've never known any teacher or mentoron improving personal effectiveness to
generate such an overwhelminglypositive reaction....
This book captures beautifullyStephen's philosophy of principles”
John Pepper, President, Procter and Gamble
Book Review
“ Habits of Effective People”
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“Stephen Covey is an American
Socrates, opening your mind to the'permanent things'
values , family, relationships,
communicating”
Brian Tracy, author of Psychology of Achievement
Book Review
“ Habits of Effective People”
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“He is neither an optimist nor a pessimist, but a
possibilist, who believes that we and we alone can
open the door to change within ourselves.”
Steve Labunski, Executive Director, International
Radio and Television Society
Book Review
“ Habits of Effective People”
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Why To Choose
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
provides an anchor for our lives—enabling usto live with a sense of constancy amid
change—because the habits are based on
timeless, universal, self-evident principles of
human effectiveness
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Identifying Problems
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Symptoms & Habits of PersonalINEFFECTIVENESS
Feeling like a victim Little time for thinking and planning
Externalizing others, Blaming others Always seems to be in hurry
Complaining about being overworked No learning and growing
Tensed, Stressed, Moody Inadequate exercise
Reacting to Urgent and forgetting
ImportantPoor sleep and diet
Busy but no real sense of achievement
and satisfaction
Inability to relax, feeling bored when
not working
Having the same thoughts over and over
again Experiencing regular interruptions
Feeling like technology is ruling your lifePersonally exhausted but
subordinates are underutilized
Always in conflictFeeling disconnected from most
important relationships
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The Problems…
“I've set and met my career goals and I'mhaving tremendous professional success.
But it's cost me my personal and family life.
I don't know my wife and children anymore.I'm not even sure I know myself and what's
really important to me.
I've had to ask myself -- is it worth it?”
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The Problems…
“ I've taken course after course on effective
management training. I expect a lot out of myemployees and I work hard to be friendly toward
them and to treat them right.
But I don't feel any loyalty from them.
Why can't I train them to be independent andresponsible -- or find employees who can be?”
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The Problems…
“ There's so much to do. And there's neverenough time. I feel pressured and hassled all
day, every day, seven days a week.
I've attended time management seminars andI've tried half a dozen different planning
systems. They've helped some, but I still don't
feel I'm living the happy, productive, peacefullife I want to live.”
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“I'm busy -- really busy. But sometimes I wonder if
what I'm doing will make a difference in the long run.I'd really like to think there was meaning in my life,
that somehow things were different because I was
here”
“I see my friends or relatives achieve some degree
of success or receive some recognition, and I smile
and congratulate them enthusiastically. But inside,
I'm eating my heart out. Why do I feel this way ?”
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Video ClipFive Emotional Cancers
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FromIdentification of Problems
ToRectification of Problems
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It takes half of your lifebefore you discover life is a
do-it-yourself project”
Napoleon Hill
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“Watch your dreams, they become thoughts“
Watch your thoughts, they become words;
Watch your words, they become actions;
Watch your actions, they become habits;
Watch your habits, they become character;
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
Lao Tzu: Philosopher and Founder of Taoism
Dreams Thoughts Words Actions Habits Character Destiny
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“We first make our
habits, then our habitsmake us”
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Habits
O Knowledge is the what to do
and why .
OSkill is the how to do.
O Desire is the motivation, the
want to do.
.
Desire
Knowledge
Skill
Habit
Webster defines a habit as an often involuntary pattern of behavioracquired by frequent repetition.
A habit is the intersection of
knowledge, skill and desire
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Need for SuccessDr. Stephen R. Covey
O No company can succeed until
individuals within it succeed
O No group can achieve its objectives untilits people achieve theirs
O Private victories precede Public victories
PrivateVictory
PublicVictory
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Stages Of Maturity Continuum
1. Dependence: The paradigm under which we areborn, relying upon others to take care of us.
2.
Independence: The paradigm under which we canmake our own decisions and take care ofourselves.
3.
Interdependence: The paradigm under which wecooperate to achieve something that cannot beachieved independently.
Dependence Independence Interdependence
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The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
1. Be Proactive
2. Begin with the End in Mind
3. Put First things First
4. Think Win/Win
5. Seek First to Understand,
Then to Be Understood
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the Saw
PrivateVictory
PublicVictory
Renewal
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Maturity Continuum
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Video ClipMaturity Continuum
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Seven Habits ProfileActivity
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SELF SCORING 7 HABITS ASSESSMENT
Emotional Bank Account
1. I Show kindness and consideration toward others.
2. I keep promises and honor commitments.
3. I do not speak negatively of others when they are not present.
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
P/PC Balance
1. I am able to maintain an appropriate balance among the various
aspects of my life — family, friends, work, and so forth.
2. When working on a task, I also keep in mind the concerns and
needs of those I am working for.
3. I work hard at the things I do, but not in a manner that causes
burnout.
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
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HABIT 1: BE PROACTIVE
1. I am in control of my life.
2. I focus my efforts on the things I can do something about rather
than on the things beyond my control.
3. I take responsibility for my moods rather than blame others and
circumstances.
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
HABIT 2: BEGIN WITH END IN MIND
1. I know what I want to accomplish in my life.
2. I organize and prepare in a way that reduces having to work in a
crisis mode.
3. I begin each week with a clear plan of what I desire to accomplish.
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
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HABIT 3: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
1. I am disciplined in carrying out plans (avoiding procrastination,
time-wasters, and so forth).
2. I do not allow the truly important activities of my life to get lost
in the busy activity of my days.
3. The things I do every day are meaningful and contribute to my
overall goals in life
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
HABIT 4: THINK WIN WIN
1. I care about the success of others as well as my own.
2. I cooperate with others
3. When solving conflicts, I strive to find solutions that benefit all .
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
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HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
1. I am sensitive to the feelings of others.
2. I seek to understand the viewpoints of others
3. When listening, I try to see things from the other person's
point of view, not just from my own
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
HABIT 6: SYNERGIZE
1. I value and seek out the insights of others
2. I am creative in searching for new and better ideas and
solutions.
3. I encourage others to express their opinions.
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
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HABIT 7: SHARPEN THE SAW
1. I care for my physical health and well-being
2. I strive to build and improve relationships with others.
3. I take time to find meaning and enjoyment in life
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
RESULTS
Outstanding
Very Good
Good
Fair
Poor
Very Poor
18
15
12
9
63
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The Character Ethics
O Almost all the literature in the first 150 years or sofocused on what could be called the character ethic
as the foundation of success -- things like
Integrity, Humility, Fidelity, Temperance,
Courage, Justice, Patience, Industry, Simplicity
and Modesty.
O The character ethic taught that there are basic
principles of effective living, and that people can only
experience true success and enduring happiness asthey learn and integrate these principles into their
basic character.
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The Personality Ethics
O Shortly after World War I , the basic view of success
shifted from the character ethic to what we might
call the personality ethics.
O Success became more a function of personality, of
public image, of attitudes and behaviors, skills and
techniques, that lubricate the processes of human
interaction.
"Your attitude determines your altitude,"
"Smiling wins more friends than frowning,"
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Ethics – Personality and Character
Success is a function of
personality, of publicimage, of attitudes
and behaviors, skills
and techniques, that
lubricate the
processes of human
interaction.
Although image, techniques and skills can influence your outward success, theweight of real effectiveness lies in good character
Success depends on
things like integrity,
humility, fidelity,
temperance, courage,
justice, patience,
industry, simplicity
and modesty.
Personality
Ethic
Character
Ethic
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Character & Personality
Personality
Character
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"A thousand-mile
journey begins with thefirst stepand can only be taken
one step at a time”
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Principles and Values
O Principles are natural laws or fundamental truths
O Universal, timeless
O Produce predictable outcomes
O External to ourselves
O Self-evident and enabling when understood
O Values are the worth and priority we place on other
people, things, ideas or principles
O Self-chosen beliefs and ideals
O Internal, subjective, based on how we see the world
O Influenced by upbringing, society, and personal reflection
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Centre Of Life
Is the
SOURCE of
Power
SecurityGuidance
Wisdom
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Centre of Your Life
Spouse
Family
Work/
Profession
Friends/
Enemy
Money
Pleasure
Religion
Self /
Possessions
CENTRE OF LIFE
?
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Centre of Your Life
Spouse
Family
Work/
Profession
Friends/
Enemy
Money
Pleasure
Religion
Self /
Possessions
PRINCIPLES
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We must look at the lensthrough which we see the
world , as well as at the world
we see, and that the lensitself shapes how weinterpret the world
Paradigms . . . ?
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The Power of a Paradigm
“ The word paradigm comes from the Greek. It was
originally a scientific term, and is more commonly
used today to mean a model, theory, perception,
assumption, or frame of reference.In the more general sense, it's the way we
"see" the world -- not in terms of our visual
sense of sight, but in terms of
perceiving, understanding, and interpreting”
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Paradigm Shift
You could say –
its half-full
or its half-empty.
Both are right – its only the
perception.In other words the way we seethe problem is the problem – problems, at times, could be
opportunities
If you want small change, work on your behavior; if you want quantum-leap changes, work on your paradigms
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54
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A STORE MANAGER HEARD one of hissalespeople say to a customer,
"No, we haven't had any for
some weeks now, and it doesn'tlook as if will be getting any
soon.“
…………………………..
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Our paradigms, correct or incorrect,
are the sources of our attitudes and
behaviors, and ultimately our
relationships with others.
STEPHEN R. COVEY
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Video ClipParadigm Shift
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If we want to make relatively minor changes
in our lives, we can focus on our attitudes
and behaviors.
But if we want to make significant quantumchanges, we need to work on our basic
paradigms —the way we view ourselves and
the world around us.
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Examining Your Paradigms
ActivityO Have you ever had an experience where you made anassumption, only to find that you had jumped to a conclusiontoo quickly? Describe the experience
O Have you ever been to a different country or even to a differentregion in your country? What was strange to you?
O Did people act the way you expected them to? What did youthink about their actions?
O Looking back on your travel experiences now, what do youthink people thought about you? Do you believe their thoughtsabout you were probably similar to your thoughts about them?
O If you had the opportunity to get to know people in your travels,how did that change your assumptions about them?
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Shifting Your Paradigms
ActivityO Think about the different routes you can take to
your home or work. Are some ways more complex
than others? Is one way sometimes more
convenient than another? Why or why not?
O Have you ever found a new way home that you didn't
know existed? What were the unexpected feelings
of traveling different routes?
O Now think about the way you interact with people.
Are there several ways to approach them? What
new ways might you try?
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Seeing and Being Paradigms are inseparable from character .
Being is seeing in the human dimension.
And what we see is highly interrelated to what we are
. We can't go very far to change our seeing without
simultaneously changing our being, and vice versa
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The Principle-Centered Paradigm
“ The character ethic is based on the
fundamental idea that there are principles
that govern human effectiveness -- natural
laws in the human dimension that are just
as real, just as unchanging and unarguably
"there" as laws such as gravity are in the
physical dimension.”
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The Social Mirror
O Social mirror is a metaphor for the way we seeourselves because others reflect their opinions,perceptions and paradigms about us throughtheir words and actions.
O We form often inaccurate judgments and imagesof ourselves from the social mirror
Our real potential is drawn from our ownimagination
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Need for a new level of thinking!
O Albert Einstein observed “The significant problems weface cannot be solved at the same Level of thinking wewere at, when we created them.
O The problems cannot be solved at the superficial level wesee them. We need a deeper level of thinking.
This new level of thinking is what the 7 habits is about
It is a principle-centered
character-based
inside-out approach
to personal and interpersonal effectiveness
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“Excellence is an art won by
training and habituation.We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act,
but a habit” Aristotle
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THE UPWARD SPIRAL
Learn
Do
Commit
Learn
CommitDo
DoLearn
Commit
LearnCommit
Do
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P/PC Balance:The Principle of Effectiveness
O Effectiveness is the balance of Production and
Production Capability
O Production is the desired results produced
(golden eggs, or P)
O Production Capability is maintaining, preserving,
and enhancing the resources that produce the
desired results. (the goose or PC)
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P/PC Balance
O The Seven Habits are also called habits ofeffectiveness.
O They are based on principles designed to bringlong term benefits.
O These are in harmony with the law called the
“P PC BALANCE”
P= Production PC= Production capacity
P PC
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Video ClipP-PC Balance
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Dependence
Independence
Interdependence
PrivateVictory
1 2
3
PublicVictory
4
5 6
7
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Feedback & Review
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Vocabulary BuilderReview Exercise
…
…
O Habits
O Live – Learn – Love - Legacy
O Effectiveness
O Dr. Covey
O Knowledge
O Skill
O Desire
O Dependence
O Independence
O Paradigm
O Public Victory - Private Victory
O Maturity
O Cancers
O Personality Ethics - Character Ethics
O
Circle of Influence - Circle of ConcernO Life is a do it Yourself Project
O Seek first to understand then to be
Understood
O PQ – IQ – SQ - EQ
O Put First Things First
O Values
O Criticizing
O Comparing
O Complaining
O Contending
O Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
O Emotional Bank Account
O Personality Development
O Lens
O Excellence
O Start with the end in Mind
O Social Mirror
O Change
O
Sharpen the SawO Be Proactive
O Wisdom
O Power
O Centre of Life
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PRIVATE VICTORY
HABIT 1: BE PROACTIVE
HABIT 2: BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND
HABIT 3: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
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Be Proactive
Personal Vision
Habit
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Habit
BE PROACTIVEO People are generally of 2 types : Proactive
and reactive.
We are responsible for our own lives. Our
behavior is a function of our decisions, not our
conditions.
O Responsibility ("response-ability") the ability
to choose your response according to
various situations.
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Proactivity means that, as human beings, we areresponsible for our own lives.
Our behavior is a function of our decisions,
not our conditions.
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Proactive Model
Stimulus Response
Self awareness
(Heart)
Imagination
(Mind)
Conscience
(Spirit)
Independent Will
(Body)
Freedom
toChoose
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PROACTIVE
O Driven by carefullythought about selected
and internalized values.
O Uses “idea building”phrases such as Let'slook at our alternatives,
I can choose a differentapproach, I control my
own feelings, I can, Iwill, I prefer.
REACTIVE
O Driven by feelings, bycircumstances, byconditions, by theirenvironment.
O Uses “Idea killing”phrases like There'snothing I can do. That's just the way I am. Hemakes me so mad. They
won't allow that. I haveto do that. I can't. Imust. If only
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Proactivity is grounded in facing reality but
also understanding we have the power to choose
a positive response to our circumstances.
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We need to understand how we focus our time
and energy to be effective.
The things we are concerned about could be
described as our "Circle of Concern". There
are things we can really do something about,
that can be described as our "Circle of
Influence".
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“
Proactive people focus their efforts in their
circle of influence causing the circle of
influence to increase
Reactive people focus their effort in the
circle of concern. The negative energy
generated by that focus causes the circle of
influence to shrink”
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REACTIVE
PROACTIVE
When we focus our time and energy in our Circle of Concern, but outside
our Circle of Influence, we are not being effective. However, we find that
being proactive helps us expand our Circle of Influence. (Work on things
you can do something about.)
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At the heart of our Circle of Influence is our
ability to make and keep commitments andpromises. Our integrity in keeping commitments
and the ability to make commitments
are the clearest manifestations of proactivity.
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Video ClipBe Proactive
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Sometimes we make choices with negative
consequences, called mistakes. We can't
recall or undo past mistakes. The proactive
approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it
instantly, correct and learn from it.
Success is the far side of failure.
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Anytime we think the problem is out
there that thought is the problem”
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You can choose your language
Reactive :
I must
If only
Theymade me
If I had
Proactive :
I prefer
I will
I choose
I can be
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Begin With The End In Mind
Personal Leadership
Habit
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Habit 2
Begin With End In Mind
O Begin with the End in Mind means to begineach day, task, or project with a clear vision
of your desired direction and destination, and
then continue by flexing your proactivemuscles to make things happen.
O Based on the principle that all things are
created twice: first initial blueprint and thenthe final product.
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Video ClipFour Assumptions
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A starting point in beginning with the end in
mind is to develop a personal mission
statement, philosophy or credo.
It will help you focus on what you want to be, do
and on the values and principles upon which yourbeing and doing are based.
The personal mission statement gives us a
changeless core from which we can deal with
external change.
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Video ClipGoals
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In developing your personal mission statement you can
use your creative ability to imagine life milestones such
as birthdays anniversaries retirement and funerals.
What accomplishments would you like to celebrate?
Visualize them in rich detail.
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How many people on theirdeathbed wish they’d spent
more time at the office?
Activity
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Write Five“ROLES” in your LifeThe roles that matter most
Activity
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Write Your PreferredValues
Activity
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A Few ValuesO My familyO My friendsO My healthO HappinessO
Learning, developing and doing/trying new things.O Having financial securityO Travelling and seeing experiencing new places and
cultures, food, places I visit and where I liveO Making a positive difference through my work and
personal lifeO Being good at what I doO Having a good personal relationshipO Arts, books, music, films, plays,
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Develop yourMission Statement
What’s most important to you?What give your life meaning?
What do you want to be and to do in your life?
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Video ClipDeveloping Mission Statement (Habit 2)
HABIT 2
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Begin with the End in Mind
These people use personalvision, correct principles,and their deep sense of
personal meaning toaccomplish tasks in a
positive and effective way.They live life based on self-
chosen values and areguided by their personal
mission statement.
Begin with No End in Mind
These people lack personalvision and have not
developed a deep sense of
personal meaning andpurpose. They have notpaid the price to develop amission statement and thuslive life based on society’s
values instead of self-chosen values.
HABIT 2
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Put First Things First
Principles of Personal Management
Habit 3
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“Things which matter most should never be at
the mercy of things which matter least”
oethe
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Habit 3
Put First Things FirstO “Things which matter most must never be at the
mercy of things which matter least” – Goethe
O The key to time management is to schedule your
priorities.
O It is effective self-management
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Personal Management, the exercise of
independent will to create a life congruent
with your values, goals and mission.
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“A major part of successful living lies in the
ability to put first things first. Indeed, thereason most major goals are not achieved isthat we spend our time doing second things
first.”
Robert J. McKain
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Principles of Personal Management
It is primarily a function of ourindependent will, our self-discipline, ourintegrity, and commitment—not to short-
term goals and schedules or to theimpulse of the moment, but to the correct
principles and our own deepest values, which give meaning and context to our
goals, our schedules, and our lives.
Organize and execute around priorities.
First Things First
“D in m thin s f st is n substitut f
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Doing more things faster is no substitute fordoing the right things.”
A. Roger Merrill
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Clock & Compass
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Clock & Compass
L dd i t th i ht ll
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The Wrong Wall
Ladder against the right wall
We painstakingly
climbed the ‘ladder
of success’ rung by
rung – the diploma,
the late nights, the
promotions – only to
disco ver as we
reach the top rung
that the ladder isleaning agains t the
w rong wall .
The Right Wall
Ali i h t f l t d d
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Aligning what we feel, want and do
What we feel
we should do
What we want
to do
What we
actually do
Gap in our lives
But it’s easier to live with the imbalance than
address it
Ali i h t f l t d d
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Aligning what we feel, want and do
What we feel we
should do
What we want to
do
What we actually
do
Fulfilment,
the fire within
But it’s easier to live with the imbalance than
address it
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If I had unlimited time &resources I’d:
Activity
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Write Five“First Things” of your Life
The things that matter most
Activity
T diti l th G ti
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Traditional vs. 4th GenerationTime Management
Traditional 4th
Generation
Efficiency Effectiveness
Practices Principles
Management Leadership
Schedules Relationships
Urgent Things First Things
• Checklist ApproachTh i t di
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The correct paradigm • Clock: Commitments, Appointments, Schedules, Goals, Activities, what we do with andhow we manage our time.
• Compass: vision, values,mission, conscience, direction,what we feel is important and
how we lead our lives
• Checklist Approach
• Achieving and accomplishing,what we want.
• Anything else is seen asobstacles and interruptions.
• Relationships are transactional inthis way of thinking.
The incorrect paradigm
Time tool is your servant not your master. Always be readyto make adjustments if higher priorities demand.
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Commitments
AppointmentsSchedules
Goals
Activities
Vision
Values
Principles
Mission
Conscience
Direction
What we feel is important and
how we lead our lives
How we manage our time
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Knowing and doing what’s important rather than simply
responding to
what’s urgent is foundational to
putting first things first.
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URGENCY
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The Urgency Addiction
Anything less than a conscious commitment
to the important
is an unconscious commitment
to the unimportant.
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“Some of us get so used to the adrenaline rush ofhandling crisis that we become dependent on it for a
sense of excitement and energy. How does urgency feel?Stressful? Pressured? Tense? Exhausting? – Sure but
lets be honest, its also exhilarating. We feel useful. Wefeel successful. We feel validated. And we get good at it.Whenever there’s trouble, we ride into town, pull out our
six shooter, do the varmint in, blow the smoke off the gunbarrel, and ride into the sunset like a hero.
It brings instant results and instant gratification”
The Urgency Addiction
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What is the one activity that you KNOW
if you did superbly well and consistentlywould have significant positive results inyour
Personal LifeProfessional Life
Activity
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What is the one activity that you KNOW
if you did superbly well and consistentlywould have significant positive results inyour
Personal LifeProfessional Life
Activity
If You Know then WHY are you not doingthem NOW
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The Urgency Index
Activity
Directions: Encircle the number along the matrix that most closely represents your
normal behaviors or attitudes regarding the statements below
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N S A Behavior/Attitudes
1. I seem to do my best work when I am under pressure.
2. I often blame the rush and press of external things for my failure to spend deep,
introspective time for myself.
3. I am often frustrated by the slowness of people and things around me. I hate to
wait or stand in line.
4. I feel guilty when I take time off work.
5. I always seem to be rushing between places and events.
6. I frequently find myself pushing people away so that I can finish a project.
7. I feel anxious when I am out of touch wuith the office for more than a few
minutes.
8. I am often preoccupied with one thing when I am doing something else.
9. I am at my best when I am handling a crisis situation.
10. The adrenaline rush from a new crisis seems more satisfying to me than the
steady accomplishment of a long-term result.
normal behaviors or attitudes regarding the statements below.
( 0= Never, 2= Sometimes, 4= Always).
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11. I often give up quality time with important people inmy life to handle a crisis.
12. I assume people will naturally understand if I have to disappoint them or let
things go in order to handle a crisis.
13. I rely on solving some crisis to give my day a sense of meaning and purpose.
14. I often eat lunch or other meals while I work.
15. I keep thinking that someday I’ll be able to do what really want to do.
16. A huge stack in my “out” basket at the end of the day makes me feel like I’ve
really been productive.
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The Urgency Addiction0-25 : Low Urgency Mind-Set
26-45 : Strong Urgency Mind-Set46+ : Urgency Addiction
Activity
Time Management Matrix
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3 4
Time Management Matrix
1 2Not UrgentUrgent
N o t I m p o r t a n t
I m p o r t a n t
• Crises
• Pressing
problems
• Deadline-driven
projects,
meetings,
preparations
• Preparation
• Prevention
• Values clarification
• Planning
• Relationship
building
• True re-creation
• Empowerment
• Interruptions, some
phone calls
• Some mail, some
reports
• Some meetings
• Many proximate,
pressing matters
• Many popular
activities
• Trivia, busywork
• Junk mail
• Some phone
calls
• Time wasters
• “Escape”
activities
Not UrgentUrgent
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3 4
1 2• Crises
• Pressing problems
• Deadline-driven
projects, meetings,
preparations
• Preparation
• Prevention• Values clarification
• Planning
• Relationship
building• True re-creation
• Empowerment
• Interruptions, some phone calls• Some mail, some reports
• Some meetings
• Many proximate, pressing matters
• Many popular activities
• Trivia, busywork
• Junk mail
• Some phone calls
• Time wasters
• “Escape” activities
Not UrgentUrgent
N o t
I m p o r t a n t
I m p o r t a n t
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Time Management Matrix
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Inefficiency
Waste
g
Survival Prosperity
Not UrgentUrgent
N o t I m p o r t a n t
I m p o r t a n t
REACTIVE PROACTIVE
DECEPTION WASTE
manage
plan
minimise eliminate
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A critical skill for personal management is
delegation.
Effectively delegating to others is perhaps the
single most powerful high leverage activity
there is.
Delegation enables you to devote your energies to
high level activities in addition to enabling
personal growth for individuals and organizations.
Roles (example)S lf
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O At the beginning of each week,write 1 activity of significancethat you can do in each of yourroles.
O Mark your calendar so that youare committed to those
activities. These become your
Quadrant II activities
Mission statement with Roles and Goals
• Self
• Father
• Husband• Son
• Leader / Guide
• Professional
• Neighbour / Citizen
Practice this for a month and watch how your lifebegins to shape up!
6 Step Planning Process
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6 Step Planning Process
Remind yourself what is really important
Review the roles you are expected to fulfil
Identify the goals/milestones you have set under each
role
Recognise the activities which support these- Organise
weekly by reviewing what’s ahead – quadrant 2
Exercise integrity in making your choices of activities
Evaluate your previous weeks activities – learn fromyour mistakes
The Complete Six-Step Process
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e Co p ete S Step ocess
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Video ClipSix Step Process (Habit 3)
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I t d d
7
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Dependence
Independence
Interdependence
PrivateVictory1 2
3
PublicVictory
4
5 6
PUBLIC VICTORY
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PUBLIC VICTORY
O HABIT 4: Think Win-Win
O HABIT 5: Seek First to understand, Then to
Be Understood
O HABIT 6: Synergize
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PUBLIC VICTORY
O Private victory precedes public victory.
O Self-mastery and self-discipline are the
foundation of good relationships withothers.
O The techniques and skills that reallymake a difference in human interaction
are the ones that almost naturally flowfrom a truly independent character.
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Emotional Bank Account
WITHDRAWALS
Angry words
Unforgiving
Cruel joke
Ignoring
Excluding
DEPOSITS
Understanding
Apology
Attention to little things
Keeping commitments
Consideration
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148
EMOTIONAL B ANK ACCOUNT
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Think Win-Win
Habit
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1. Win/Win People can seek mutual benefit in
all human interactions. Principle based
behavior.
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2. Win/Lose
The competitive paradigm: if I win, you lose.
In relationships, if both people aren't
winning, both are losing.
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3. Lose/Win
The Doormat paradigm. The individual seeks
strength from popularity based on acceptance.
The leadership style is permissiveness.
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4. Lose/Lose When
people become obsessed with making the other
person lose, even at their own expense.
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5. Win
Focusing solely on getting what one
wants, regardless of the needs of others.
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Video ClipThink Win - Win (Habit 4)
Courage and Consideration
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I
YOU LOSE
THEY WIN
II
YOU WIN
THEY WIN
III
YOU LOSE
THEY LOSE
IV
YOU WIN
THEY LOSE
Low HighCOURAGE
High
CONSIDERATION
HABIT 4
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Think Win-Win
These people have anabundance mentality andthe spirit of cooperation.They achieve effective
communication and hightrust levels in their
Emotional Bank Accountswith others, resulting in
rewarding relationships and
greater power to influence.
Think Win-Lose or
Lose-WinThese people have a scarcitymentality and see life as azero-sum game. They haveineffective communication
skills and low trust levels intheir Emotional Bank Accounts with others, result-ing in a defensive mentality
and adversarial feelings.
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Seek First to Understand
Then to be Understood
Habit
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Four Autobiographical Responses
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Four Autobiographical Responses
O Evaluating: Judging and then either agree ordisagree.
O Probing: Asking questions from your own
frame of reference.
O Advising: Giving counsel, advice, andsolutions to problems.
OInterpreting: analyzing other’s motives andbehaviors based on your own experiences.
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Video ClipHave a nice day
Listening Continuum
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2. Pretend Listening
(Patronizing)
3. Selective Listening
4. Attentive Listening
1. Ignoring
WITHIN ON ’S
OWN FOR
5.Empathic ListeningWithin
the other’s FOR
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We often prescribe before making a proper
diagnosis when communicating. We should first
take the time to deeply understand the problems
presented to us.
Skills of empathic listening must be built on a
character that inspires openness and trust and
high emotional bank accounts.
we usually "listen" at one of four levels:
ignoring, pretending, selective listening,
or attentive listening
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or attentive listening.
We should be using the empathic listening.
Empathic listening is listening with intent
to understand the other person's frame of
reference and feelings. You must listen with
your ears, your eyes and your heart.
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Diagnose Before You Prescribe
Empathic listening takes time, but not as much
time as backing up and correcting
misunderstandings, including living withproblems and the results of not giving the
people you care about psychological air.
Levels of Communication
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High
Trust
Low
Low HighCooperation
___________ (Win/Win)
__________ (Compromise)
_________ (Win/Lose or Lose/Win)
S k Fi t t U d t d
HABIT 5
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Seek First to Understand,
Then to Be Understood
Through perceptiveobservation and empathic
listening, these non-
judgmental people are intenton learning the needs,
interests, and concerns ofothers. They are then able tocourageously state their own
needs and wants.
Seek First to Be Understood
These people put forththeir point of view based
solely on their auto-biography and motives,without attempting to
understand others first.They blindly prescribe
without first
diagnosing the problem.
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Synergize
Principles of Creative Cooperation
Synergy means the whole is greater than the sum
of its parts.
Habit
Habit 6
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SYNERGIZE
O “The whole is greater than the sum ofits parts”; (i.e. 1 + 1 > 2)
O Synergy is the foundation for aPrinciple-Centered Leadership.
O The challenge is to apply the
principles of creative cooperation inour social interactions.
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Video ClipSynergy – Team Work (Habit 6)
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The essence of synergy is to value differences
to respect them, to build on strengths, and to
compensate for weaknesses. Synergisticcommunication is opening your mind and heart to
new possibilities.
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By taking the time to really build a team,
creating a high emotional bank account, the
group can become very closely knit. The
respect among members can become so high
that if there is a disagreement, there can be
a genuine effort to understand.
Synergy and Communication
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O Synergistic third alternatives are oftenbetter for both parties than their original
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better for both parties than their original
alternatives.
O Valuing the various differences betweenpeople is the essence of synergy -- the
mental, the emotional, the psychologicaldifferences between people.
O Synergy can be seen everywhere in
Nature. Ecology is a word which basicallydescribes the synergism in nature
HABIT 6
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177
Synergize
Effective people knowthat the whole is
greater than the sum of
the parts. They valueand benefit fromdifferences in others,
which results in creativecooperation and team-
work .
Compromise, Fight, orFlight
Ineffective peoplebelieve the whole is
less than the sum ofthe parts. They tryto “clone” other
people in their ownimage. Differences in
others are looked uponas threats.
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Sharpen the Saw
Principles of alanced Self Renewal
Habit
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Video ClipStory at Sea
Habit 7
Sharpen the Saw
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Sharpen the Saw
O Renewal is the principle and the process thatempowers us to move on an upward spiral ofgrowth and change, of continuousimprovement.
O The 7th habit is about preserving andenhancing the greatest asset you have – “YOURSELF”.
O Four Dimensions of Renewal are physical,spiritual, mental, and social/emotional.
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Habit 7 is taking the time to sharpen the
saw. You must work proactively to renew the
four dimensions of your nature physical,
spiritual, mental and social/economic.
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The Physical Dimension.
The physical dimension involves caring for
your physical body eating the right foods,
getting enough rest and relaxation, andexercising on a regular basis
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The Spiritual Dimension
The spiritual dimension is your center, your
commitment to your value system. It drawsupon the sources that inspire and uplift you
and tie you to timeless truths of humanity.
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The Mental Dimension
It's important keep your mind sharp by
reading, writing, organizing and planning.Read broadly and expose yourself to great
minds.
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Video ClipSharpen the Saw (Habit 7)
HABIT 7
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187
Sharpen the Saw
Effective people areinvolved in self-renewaland self-improvement
in the physical, mental,
spiritual, and social-emotional areas, whichenhance all areas offtheir life and nurturethe other six habits.
Wear Out the Saw
Ineffective people fallback, lose their interest,and get disordered. Theylack a program of self-
renewal and self-improvement and
eventually lose the cuttingedge they once had.
Review
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Public
Victory
Private
Victory
Dependence
Independence
Interdependence
Sharpen the Saw
Think Win-Win
Synergize Seek First to Understand,
Then be Understood
Begin with the End
in Mind
Be Proactive
Put First Things First
What if Individuals had not attended the Workshop?
O I am the victim; I blame everyone O Be Proactive
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O I am the victim; I blame everyone
O
Life is a crapshoot; do NOT havea plan
O Who cares about first things?
O Live for the moment Think win-lose;
O I’m getting mine First, I havesomething to say, then I’ll let youtalk
O I work better alone; cooperatingmeans I lose
O Wear yourself out; I don’t have
time for myself
O Be Proactive
O
Begin With the End in Mind
O Put First Things First
O Think Win/Win
O Seek First to Understand;Then Be Understood
O Synergize
O Sharpen the Saw
Closing the Pandora’s Box
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g
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The story of the eagle…
Goodbye Paradigm
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y g
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