shaadi: life time investment. marriage : a crisis? marriage in islam benefits of marriage essentials...

Shaadi: Life Time Investment

Marriage : A Crisis?

Marriage in Islam

Benefits of Marriage

Essentials of Muslim Marriage

Spouse Selection

Essential Tips

Outline

Marriage: A Crisis?

Marriage : A Crisis?

• Married couple with children= 37.4%• Married couple without children =

33.1%• Family break down = 50%

in Western SocietyFamily Crisis

(Canadian census 2001)

Marriage : A Crisis?

• Every two marriages, there is one divorce

• 2.04 million males are single parents.• 9.68 million females are single

parents.• 28% parents live with one parent.

In the USADivorce Rate

(Divorce Magazine)

Marriage : A Crisis ?

• Divorce rate on rise: California: 37% Georgia: 29% Turkey + Egypt: 10%• Lack of reference

points for second generation and younger families.

Impact onMuslim Societies

(Dr . Illyas Ba-Yunus, Professor Sociology, State University of New york)

Marriage In IslamA Life time Investment

NIKAAHA form of Ibadah in Islam

Staus of Marriage In Islam

Rasulullah(saw) has referred to it as “half of Deen”.

NIKAAH

Status of Marriage In Islam

Islam considers marriage a social obligation, an act which is greatly

admired by Allah.

Social Obligation

Status of Marriage In Islam

Nikaah - is the (only) natural

relationship between man

and woman.

Natural Relationship

Status of Marriage In Islam

O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah , through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over

you, an Observer. [An-Nisa: 1]

In the Light of Qur’an:

Status of Marriage In Islam

And We have already sent messengers before you and assigned to them wives and descendants. And it was not for a messenger to

come with a sign except by permission of Allah . For every term is a decree.

[Ar-Raad, 13:38]

In the Light of Qur’an:

Status of Marriage In Islam

Who will inherit me and inherit from the family of Jacob. And make him, my Lord,

pleasing [to You].”Verse 6: Surah maryam

In the Light of Qur’an:

Marriage in Islam

• Family status• No age barrier• Variations in

Nikaah: – Badal: Exchanging wives

– Before birth – Shighar: Exchanging

sisters and daughters in marriage so no dowry or mehr

– Maqaat: Marrying step mother

Pre-Islamic Arabia

of Marriage in Islam

Foundation

Foundation of Marriage in Islam

And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and

mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.

Al-Rum: 21

For People who give thoughtSigns

Foundation of Marriage in Islam

They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.

Al-Baqarah: 187

For Each otherGarments

Of MarriageAdvantages

Advantages of Marriage

‘’When Allah grants one a righteous wife, He has helped him (by that) to preserve half of his religion. Let him then fear and revere Allah in regard to the other half.”

(At-Tabarani)

Preservation of

Faith

Advantages of Marriage

Abdullah bin Mas'ud (RA) reported that Allah's Messenger (SAW) said to us:

0 young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it

restrains eyes (from casting evil glances) and preserves one from immorality; but he who cannot afford It should observe fast for it is a means of controlling the

sexual desire.  (Muslim)

Preservation of

Chastity

Advantages of Marriage

Al-Baqarah: 187

Enjoying

Love Mercy Security

Benefits of Marriagefor society

Benefits of Marriage for society

Preservation of

HumanRace

Benefits of Marriage for society

Preservation of

KinshipTies

Benefits of Marriage for society

Safeguarding Society from

MoralDegradatio

n

Benefits of Marriage for society

Establishing

FamilyEnvironme

nt

Benefits of Marriage for society

Increasing number of

MUSLIMS

For Muslim MarriageEssentials

Essentials for Muslim Marriage

Commitment

Contentment

Essentials for Muslim Marriage

Compromise

Essentials for Muslim Marriage

Essentials for Muslim Marriage

MutualCaring

Essentials for Muslim Marriage

Practice

SkillsCommunication

MannersExcellent

Essentials for Muslim Marriage

Learning to

Essentials for Muslim Marriage

Empathize

Essentials for Muslim Marriage

SINCEREBeing

Essentials for Muslim Marriage

LOVE

Essentials for Muslim Marriage

Forgiveness

Spouse Selection

Spouse selection

“ Women are married for four qualities, some are married for wealth, some for

the family(lineage) status, some for beauty and some for the Deen (piety). Marry a woman for her Deen and you

shall be happy/successful.” (Bukhari/ Muslim)

Spouse selection

“If a man comes to you seeking marriage, and you are satisfied with

his din and character, marry him- lest a fitnah and great destruction

become rampant on the earth.” (Tirmadhi)

Spouse Selection

WhereAnd how do you select?

Pre-Wedding

Islamic Principles

1. Let family check

out for you and

priority is piety.

2. Do Istikhara.

3. See each other

before marriage

Steps to Islamic Principles

To Do’s

Pre-Wedding Islamic Principles

4. Significance of Kuff

5. To take members of one`s family to propose

6. To keep making dua to Allah to guide one and to give one the correct partner

7. The proposal should be submitted to the Wali (guardian) of the girl.

Steps to Islamic PrinciplesPre-Wedding Islamic Principles

To Do’s

Steps to Islamic Principles

‘For, indeed, it is an adulteress who gives herself in marriage (without her wali’s consent).’

(Ibn Majah)

• ‘A Marriage Contract is not valid without a Wali.’ (Abu Dawood)

• Father, grandfather, son, brother, Uncle etc.

Woman’s Wali

Steps to Islamic Principles

• To date and court the woman before Nikaah.• To phone each other.• To send a proposal to a divorcee/widow during

her iddat.• To submit a proposal when someone else has

already proposed to the same woman. Rasulullah (saw) has stopped us from doing this.

NOT ALLOWEDWhat one is

Steps to Islamic Principles

• Presence of Wali• Ejab O Qabool• Khutba Nikaah• Mehr

Compulsory Components

Of Nikah

Examples of Some Marriages

The Prophet’s Model• Hazrat Khadija

and Prophet Mohammad SAW– She was 40, he was

25– First Muslim to

accept Islam– Devoted and loving

wife– Always stood by the

Prophet in moments of trial and difficulty

• Hazrat Aaisha and Prophet Mohammad SAW– Got married at a young

age– Examples of love and

affection– Source of pleasure, joy

and comfort to her husband

– Vast treasure of Islamic knowledge and a teacher of scholars and experts

• Which month?• How to announce?• How to enjoy?

RitualsIn Marriage

Avoiding Poisonous Elements

ElementsPoisonous

GREED

Avoiding Poisonous Elements

Show Off

PoisonousElements

Avoiding Poisonous Elements

Excessive Spending

PoisonousElements

Avoiding Poisonous Elements

• Adopting Haraam customs

PoisonousElements

Some Tips

Some Tips

• How to Simplify?• How to avoid extravagance• How to handle photo shoot

session?• How to handle unexpected free

mixing at wedding?• How to minimize extravagance?

On your own Wedding

Tackle Smart

Some Tips

• Practice simplicity

• Provide support for Halal to bride and groom

• Avoid extravagance

• Cut out Haraam rituals

Save Yourself

Some Tips

Make Dua

Get Married, Not for yourself, but for the future of your

children, they are getting late for school and the fee is increasing day by day

Think Economically