simple truths

PowerPoint Show by Andrew

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SIMPLE TRUTH #1

Partners help each other undress before sex.

However after sex, they always dress on their own.

Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you’re screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH #2

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, “Congrats!”

But, none of them come and touch the man’s penis and say, “Good job!”

Moral of the story: Hard work is never appreciated.

SIMPLE TRUTH #3A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grand-father sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.

Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see! He exclaimed.

The old man slowly looked at him and said, “well…. last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your Grandma’s idea.”

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE

1.

Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.

2.

Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole’s name.

3.

If you help someone when they’re in trouble, they will remember you when they’re in trouble again.

4.

Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.

5.

Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

THERE YOU HAVE IT…AND REMEMBER, LIFE IS GOOD.