an imaginative woman

7/18/2019 An Imaginative Woman

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An Imaginative Woman

By: Thomas Hardy

When William Marchmill had finished his inquiries for lodgings at the well-known watering-

lace of !olentsea in "er Wesse#$ he returned to the hotel to find his wife% !he$ with the

children$ had ram&led along the shore$ and Marchmill followed in the direction indicated &y

the military-looking hall-orter%

'By (ove$ how far you)ve gone* I am quite out of &reath$' Marchmill said$ rather

imatiently$ when he came u with his wife$ who was reading as she walked$ the three

children &eing considera&ly further ahead with the nurse%

Mrs% Marchmill started out of the reverie into which the &ook had thrown her% '+es$' she

said$ 'you)ve &een such a long time% I was tired of staying in that dreary hotel% But I am sorry

if you have wanted me$ Will,'

'Well I have had trou&le to suit myself% When you see the airy and comforta&le rooms

heard of$ you find they are stuffy and uncomforta&le% Will you come and see if what I)ve fi#ed

on will do, There is not much room$ I am afraid &ut I can light on nothing &etter% The town is

rather full%'

The air left the children and nurse to continue their ram&le$ and went &ack together%

In age well-&alanced$ in ersonal aearance fairly matched$ and in domestic

requirements conforma&le$ in temer this coule differed$ though even here they did not

often clash$ he &eing equa&le$ if not lymhatic$ and she decidedly nervous and sanguine% It

was to their tastes and fancies$ those smallest$ greatest articulars$ that no common

denominator could &e alied% Marchmill considered his wife)s likes and inclinations

somewhat silly she considered his sordid and material% The hus&and)s &usiness was that of

a gunmaker in a thriving city northwards$ and his soul was in that &usiness always the lady

was &est characterised &y that suerannuated hrase of elegance 'a votary of the muse%'

An imressiona&le$ alitating creature was .lla$ shrinking humanely from detailed

knowledge of her hus&and)s trade whenever she reflected that everything he manufactured

had for its urose the destruction of life% !he could only recover her equanimity &y assuring

herself that some$ at least$ of his weaons were sooner or later used for the e#termination of

horrid vermin and animals almost as cruel to their inferiors in secies as human &eings were

to theirs%



!he had never antecedently regarded this occuation of his as any o&/ection to having

him for a hus&and% Indeed$ the necessity of getting life-leased at all cost$ a cardinal virtue

which all good mothers teach$ ket her from thinking of it at all till she had closed with

William$ had assed the honeymoon$ and reached the reflecting stage% Then$ like a erson

who has stum&led uon some o&/ect in the dark$ she wondered what she had got mentally

walked round it$ estimated it whether it were rare or common contained gold$ silver$ or lead were a clog or a edestal$ everything to her or nothing%

!he came to some vague conclusions$ and since then had ket her heart alive &y itying

her rorietor)s o&tuseness and want of refinement$ itying herself$ and letting off her

delicate and ethereal emotions in imaginative occuations$ daydreams$ and night-sighs$

which erhas would not much have distur&ed William if he had known of them%

Her figure was small$ elegant$ and slight in &uild$ triing$ or rather &ounding$ in

movement% !he was dark-eyed$ and had that marvellously &right and liquid sarkle in each

uil which characterises ersons of .lla)s cast of soul$ and is too often a cause of

heartache to the ossessor)s male friends$ ultimately sometimes to herself% Her hus&and

was a tall$ long-featured man$ with a &rown &eard he had a ondering regard and was$ it

must &e added$ usually kind and tolerant to her% He soke in squarely shaed sentences$

and was suremely satisfied with a condition of su&lunary things which made weaons a

necessity%

Hus&and and wife walked till they had reached the house they were in search of$ which

stood in a terrace facing the sea$ and was fronted &y a small garden of windroof and salt-

roof evergreens$ stone stes leading u to the orch% It had its num&er in the row$ &ut$

&eing rather larger than the rest$ was in addition sedulously distinguished as 0o&urg House

&y its landlady$ though every&ody else called it 'Thirteen$ 1ew 2arade%' The sot was &right

and lively now &ut in winter it &ecame necessary to lace sand&ags against the door$ and to

stuff u the keyhole against the wind and rain$ which had worn the aint so thin that the

riming and knotting showed through%

The householder$ who had &een watching for the gentleman)s return$ met them in the

assage$ and showed the rooms% !he informed them that she was a rofessional man)s

widow$ left in needy circumstances &y the rather sudden death of her hus&and$ and she

soke an#iously of the conveniences of the esta&lishment%

Mrs% Marchmill said that she liked the situation and the house &ut$ it &eing small$ there

would not &e accommodation enough$ unless she could have all the rooms%



The landlady mused with an air of disaointment% !he wanted the visitors to &e her

tenants very &adly$ she said$ with o&vious honesty% But unfortunately two of the rooms were

occuied ermanently &y a &achelor gentleman% He did not ay season rices$ it was true

&ut as he ket on his aartments all the year round$ and was an e#tremely nice and

interesting young man$ who gave no trou&le$ she did not like to turn him out for a month)s

'let$' even at a high figure% '2erhas$ however$' she added$ 'he might offer to go for a time%'

They would not hear of this$ and went &ack to the hotel$ intending to roceed to the

agent)s to inquire further% Hardly had they sat down to tea when the landlady called% Her

gentleman$ she said$ had &een so o&liging as to offer to give u his rooms three or four

weeks rather than drive the newcomers away%

'It is very kind$ &ut we won)t inconvenience him in that way$' said the Marchmills%

'3$ it won)t inconvenience him$ I assure you*' said the landlady eloquently% '+ou see$ he)s

a different sort of young man from most - dreamy$ solitary$ rather melancholy - and he cares

more to &e here when the south-westerly gales are &eating against the door$ and the sea

washes over the 2arade$ and there)s not a soul in the lace$ than he does now in the

season% He)d /ust as soon &e where$ in fact$ he)s going temorarily to a little cottage on the

Island oosite$ for a change%' !he hoed therefore that they would come%

The Marchmill family accordingly took ossession of the house ne#t day$ and it seemed

to suit them very well% After luncheon Mr% Marchmill strolled out toward the ier$ and Mrs%

Marchmill$ having desatched the children to their outdoor amusements on the sands$

settled herself in more comletely$ e#amining this and that article$ and testing the reflecting

owers of the mirror in the wardro&e door%

In the small &ack sitting room$ which had &een the young &achelor)s$ she found furniture

of a more ersonal nature than in the rest% !ha&&y &ooks$ of correct rather than rare

editions$ were iled u in a queerly reserved manner in corners$ as if the revious occuant

had not conceived the ossi&ility that any incoming erson of the season)s &ringing could

care to look inside them% The landlady hovered on the threshold to rectify anything that Mrs%

Marchmill might not find to her satisfaction%

'I)ll make this my own little room$' said the latter$ '&ecause the &ooks are here% By the

way$ the erson who has left seems to have a good many% He won)t mind my reading some

of them$ Mrs% Hooer$ I hoe,'



'3$ dear no$ ma)am% +es$ he has a good many% +ou see$ he is in the literary line himself

somewhat% He is a oet - yes$ really a oet - and he has a little income of his own$ which is

enough to write verses on$ &ut not enough for cutting a figure$ even if he cared to%'

'A 2oet* 3$ I did not know that%'

Mrs% Marchmill oened one of the &ooks$ and saw the owner)s name written on the title-

age% '4ear me*' she continued 'I know his name very well - 5o&ert Trewe - of course I do

and his writings* And it is his rooms we have taken$ and him we have turned out of his

home,'

.lla Marchmill$ sitting down alone a few minutes later$ thought with interested surrise of5o&ert Trewe% Her own latter history will &est e#lain that interest% Herself the only daughter

of a struggling man of letters$ she had during the last year or two taken to writing oems$ in

an endeavour to find a congenial channel in which let flow her ainfully em&ayed emotions$

whose former limidity and sarkle seemed dearting in the stagnation caused &y the

routine of a ractical household and the gloom of &earing children to a commonlace father%

These oems$ su&scri&ed with masculine seudonym$ had aeared in various o&scure

maga6ines$ and in two cases in rather rominent ones% In the second of the latter the age

which &ore her effusion at the &ottom$ in smallish rint$ &ore at the to$ in large rint$ a few

verses on the same su&/ect &y this very man$ 5o&ert Trewe% Both of them$ had$ in fact$ &een

struck &y a tragic incident reorted in the daily aers$ and had used it simultaneously as aninsiration$ the editor remarking in a note uon the coincidence$ and that the e#cellence of

&oth oems romted him to give them together%

After that event .lla$ otherwise '(ohn Ivy$' had watched with much attention the

aearance anywhere in rint of verse &earing the signature of 5o&ert Trewe$ who$ with a

man)s unsusceti&ility on the question of se#$ had never once thought of assing himself off

as a woman% To &e sure$ Mrs% Marchmill had satisfied herself with a sort of reason for doing

the contrary in her case since no&ody might &elieve in her insiration if they found that the

sentiments came from a ushing tradesman)s wife$ from the mother of three children &y amatter-of-fact small-arms manufacturer%

Trewe)s verse contrasted with that of the rank and file of recent minor oets in &eing

imassioned rather than ingenious$ lu#uriant rather than finished% 1either sym&olist nor

decadent$ he was a essimist in so far as that character alies to a man who looks at the

worst contingencies as well as the &est in the human condition% Being little attracted &y

e#cellences of form and rhythm aart from content$ he sometimes$ when feeling outran his

artistic seed$ eretrated sonnets in the loosely rhymed .li6a&ethan fashion$ which every

right-minded reviewer said he ought not to have done%



With sad and hoeless envy .lla Marchmill had often and often scanned the rival oet)s

work$ so much stronger as it always was than her own fee&le lines% !he had imitated him$

and her ina&ility to touch his level would send her into fits of desondency% Months assed

away thus$ till she o&served from the u&lishers) list that Trewe had collected his fugitiveieces into a volume$ which was duly issued$ and was much or little raised according to

chance$ and had a sale quite sufficient to ay for the rinting%

This ste onward had suggested to (ohn Ivy the idea of collecting her ieces also$ or at

any rate of making u a &ook of her rhymes &y adding many in manuscrit to the few that

had seen the light$ for she had &een a&le to get no great num&er into rint% A ruinous charge

was made for costs of u&lication a few reviews noticed her oor little volume &ut no&ody

talked of it$ no&ody &ought it$ and it fell dead in a fortnight - if it had ever &een alive%

The author)s thoughts were diverted to another groove /ust then &y the discovery that she

was going to have a third child$ and the collase of her oetical venture had erhas less

effect uon her mind than it might have done if she had &een domestically unoccuied% Her

hus&and had aid the u&lisher)s &ill with the doctor)s$ and there it all had ended for the time%

But$ though less than a oet of her century$ .lla was more than a mere multilier of her kind$

and latterly she had &egun to feel the old afflatus once more% And now &y an odd

con/unction she found herself in the rooms of 5o&ert Trewe%

!he thoughtfully rose from her chair and searched the aartment with the interest of a

fellow-tradesman% +es$ the volume of his own verse was among the rest% Though quite

familiar with its contents$ she read it here as if it soke aloud to her$ then called u Mrs%

Hooer$ the landlady$ for some trivial service$ and inquired again a&out the young man%

'Well$ I)m sure you)d &e interested in him$ ma)am$ if you could see him$ only he)s so shy

that I don)t suose you will%' Mrs% Hooer seemed nothing loth to minister to her tenant)s

curiosity a&out her redecessor% '7ived here long, +es$ nearly two years% He kees on hisrooms even when he)s not here: the soft air of this lace suits his chest$ and he likes to &e

a&le to come &ack at any time% He is mostly writing or reading$ and doesn)t see many

eole$ though$ for the matter of that$ he is such a good$ kind young fellow that folks would

only &e too glad to &e friendly with him if they knew him% +ou don)t meet kind-hearted eole

everyday%'

'Ah$ he)s kind-hearted % % % and good%'



'+es he)ll o&lige me in anything if I ask him% )Mr% Trewe$) I say to him sometimes$ you are

rather out of sirits%) )Well$ I am$ Mrs% Hooer$) he)ll say$ )though I don)t know how you should

find it out%) )Why not take a little change,) I ask% Then in a day or two he)ll say that he will

take a tri to 2aris$ or 1orway$ or somewhere and I assure you he comes &ack all the &etter

for it%'

'Ah$ indeed* His is a sensitive nature$ no dou&t%'

'+es% !till he)s odd in some things% 3nce when he had finished a oem of his comosition

late at night he walked u and down the room rehearsing it and the floors &eing so thin -

/erry-&uilt houses$ you know$ though I say it myself - he ket me awake u a&ove him till I

wished him further % % % % But we get on very well%'

This was &ut the &eginning of a series of conversations a&out the rising oet as the days

went on% 3n one of these occasions Mrs% Hooer drew .lla)s attention to what she had not

noticed &efore: minute scri&&lings in encil on the wallaer &ehind the curtains at the head

of the &ed%

'3* let me look$' said Mrs% Marchmill$ una&le to conceal a rush of tender curiosity as she

&ent her retty face close to the wall%

'These$' said Mrs% Hooer$ with the manner of a woman who knew things$ 'are the very

&eginnings and first thoughts of his verses% He has tried to ru& most of them out$ &ut you can

read them still% My &elief is that he wakes u in the night$ you know$ with some rhyme in his

head$ and /ots it down there on the wall lest he should forget it &y the morning% !ome of

these very lines you see here I have seen afterwards in rint in the maga6ines% !ome are

newer indeed$ I have not seen that one &efore% It must have &een done only a few days

ago%'

'3$ yes* % % % '

.lla Marchmill flushed without knowing why$ and suddenly wished her comanion would

go away$ now that the information was imarted% An indescri&a&le consciousness of

ersonal interest rather than literary made her an#ious to read the inscrition alone and she

accordingly waited till she could do so$ with a sense that a great store of emotion would &e

en/oyed in the act%



2erhas &ecause the sea was choy outside the Island$ .lla)s hus&and found it much

leasanter to go sailing and steaming a&out without his wife$ who was a &ad sailor$ than with

her% He did not disdain to go thus alone on &oard the steam&oats of the chea-triers$

where there was dancing &y moonlight$ and where the coules would come suddenly down

with a lurch into each other)s arms for$ as he &landly told her$ the comany was too mi#ed

for him to take her amid such scenes% Thus$ while this thriving manufacturer got a great dealof change and sea-air out of his so/ourn here$ the life$ e#ternal at least$ of .lla was

monotonous enough$ and mainly consisted in assing a certain num&er of hours each day in

&athing and walking u and down a stretch of shore% But the oetic imulse having again

wa#ed strong$ she was ossessed &y an inner flame which left her hardly conscious of what

was roceeding around her%

!he had read till she knew &y heart Trewe)s last little volume of verses$ and sent a great

deal of time in vainly attemting to rival some of them$ till$ in her failure$ she &urst into tears%

The ersonal element in the magnetic attraction e#ercised &y this circumam&ient$

unaroacha&le master of hers was so much stronger than the intellectual and a&stract that

she could not understand it% To &e sure$ she was surrounded noon and night &y his

customary environment$ which literally whisered of him to her at every moment &ut he was

a man she had never seen$ and that all that moved her was the instinct to secialise a

waiting emotion on the first fit thing that came to hand did not$ of course$ suggest itself to

.lla%

In the natural way of assion under the too ractical conditions which civilisation has

devised for its fruition$ her hus&and)s love for her had not survived$ e#cet in the form of fitful

friendshi$ anymore than$ or even so much as$ her own for him and$ &eing a woman of very

living ardours$ that required sustenance of some sort$ they were &eginning to feed on this

chancing material$ which was$ indeed$ of a quality far &etter than chance usually offers%

3ne day the children had &een laying hide-and-seek in a closet$ whence$ in their

e#citement they ulled out some clothing% Mrs% Hooer e#lained that it &elonged to Mr%

Trewe$ and hung it u in the closet again% 2ossessed of her fantasy$ .lla went later in the

afternoon$ when no&ody was in that art of the house$ oened the closet$ unhitched one of

the articles$ a mackintosh$ and ut it on$ with the waterroof ca &elonging to it%

'The mantle of .li/ah*' she said% 'Would it might insire me to rival him$ glorious genius

that he is*'

Her eyes always grew wet when she thought like that$ and she turned to look at herself in

the glass% His heart had &eat inside that coat$ and his &rain had worked under that hat at

levels of thought she would never reach% The consciousness of her weakness &eside him



made her feel quite sick% Before she had got the things off her the door oened$ and her

hus&and entered the room%

'What the devil - '

!he &lushed$ and removed them%

'I found them in the closet here$' she said$ 'and ut them on in a freak% What have I else

to do, +ou are always away*'

'Always away, Well % % %'

That evening she had a further talk with the landlady$ who might herself have nourished a

half-tender regard for the oet$ so ready was she to discourse ardently a&out him%

'+ou are interested in Mr% Trewe$ I know$ ma)am$' she said 'and he has /ust sent to say

that he is going to call tomorrow afternoon to look u some &ooks of his that he wants$ if I)ll

&e in$ and he may select them from your room,'

'3$ yes*'

'+ou could very well meet Mr% Trewe then$ if you)d like to &e in the way*'

!he romised with secret delight$ and went to &ed musing of him%

1e#t morning her hus&and o&served: 'I)ve &een thinking of what you said$ .ll: that I have

gone a&out a good deal and left you without much to amuse you% 2erhas it)s true% Today$

as there)s not much sea$ I)ll take you with me on &oard the yacht%'

8or the first time in her e#erience of such an offer .lla was not glad% But she acceted it

for the moment% The time for setting out drew near$ and she went to get ready% !he stood

reflecting% The longing to see the oet she was now distinctly in love with overowered all

other considerations%



'I don)t want to go$' she said to herself% 'I can)t &ear to &e away* And I won)t go%'

!he told her hus&and that she had changed her mind a&out wishing to sail% He was

indifferent$ and went his way%

8or the rest of the day the house was quiet$ the children having gone out uon the sands%

The &linds waved in the sunshine to the soft$ steady stroke of the sea &eyond the wall and

the notes of the 9reen !ilesian &and$ a troo of foreign gentlemen hired for the season$ had

drawn almost all the residents and romenaders away from the vicinity of 0o&urg House% A

knock was audi&le at the door%

Mrs% Marchmill did not hear any servant go to answer it$ and she &ecame imatient% The

&ooks were in the room where she sat &ut no&ody came u% !he rang the &ell%

'There is some erson waiting at the door$' she said%

'3$ no$ ma)am% He)s gone long ago% I answered it$' the servant relied$ and Mrs% Hooer

came in herself%

'!o disaointing*' she said% 'Mr% Trewe not coming after all*'

'But I heard him knock$ I fancy*'

'1o that was some&ody inquiring for lodgings who came to the wrong house% I tell youthat Mr% Trewe sent a note /ust &efore lunch to say I needn)t get any tea for him$ as he

should not require the &ooks$ and wouldn)t come to select them%'

.lla was misera&le$ and for a long time could not even reread his mournful &allad on

'!evered 7ives$' so aching was her erratic little heart$ and so tearful her eyes% When the

children came in with wet stockings$ and ran u to her to tell her of their adventures$ she

could not feel that she cared a&out them half as much as usual%



'Mrs% Hooer$ have you a hotograh of - the gentleman who lived here,' !he was

getting to &e curiously shy in mentioning his name%

'Why$ yes% It)s in the ornamental frame on the manteliece in your own &edroom$ ma)am%'

'1o the 5oyal 4uke and 4uchess are in that%'

'+es$ so they are &ut he)s &ehind them% He &elongs rightly to that frame$ which I &ought

on urose &ut as he went away he said: '0over me u from those strangers that are

coming$ for 9od)s sake% I don)t want them staring at me$ and I am sure they won)t want me

staring at them%' !o I slied in the 4uke and 4uchess temorarily in front of him$ as they

had no frame$ and 5oyalties are more suita&le for letting furnished than a rivate youngman% If you take )em out you)ll see him under% 7ord$ ma)am$ he wouldn)t mind if he knew it*

He didn)t think the ne#t tenant would &e such an attractive lady as you$ or he wouldn)t have

thought of hiding himself$ erhas%'

'Is he handsome,' she asked timidly%

'I call him so% !ome$ erhas$ wouldn)t%'

'!hould I,' she asked$ with eagerness%

'I think you would$ though some would say he)s more striking than handsome a large-

eyed thoughtful fellow$ you know$ with a very electric flash in his eye when he looks round

quickly$ such as you)d e#ect a oet to &e who doesn)t get his living &y it%'

'How old is he,'

'!everal years older than yourself$ ma)am a&out thirty -one or two$ I think%'

.lla was a matter of fact$ a few months over thirty herself &ut she did not look nearly so

much% Though so immature in nature$ she was entering on that tract of life in which

emotional women &egin to susect that last love may &e stronger than first love and she would soon$ alas$ enter on the still more melancholy tract when at least the vainer ones of



her se# shrink from receiving a male visitor otherwise than with their &acks to the window or

the &linds half down% !he reflected on Mrs% Hooer)s remark$ and said no more a&out age%

(ust then a telegram was &rought u% It came from her hus&and$ who had gone down the

0hannel as far as Budmouth with his friends in the yacht$ and would not &e a&le to get &ack

till ne#t day%

After her light dinner .lla idled a&out the shore with the children till dusk$ thinking of the

yet uncovered hotograh in her room$ with a serene sense of in which this something

ecstatic to come% 8or$ with the su&tle lu#uriousness of fancy in which this young woman was

an adet$ on learning that her hus&and was to &e a&sent that night she had refrained from

incontinently rushing ustairs and oening the icture-frame$ referring to reserve the

insection till she could &e alone$ and a more romantic tinge &e imarted to the occasion &ysilence$ candles$ solemn sea and stars outside$ than was afforded &y the garish afternoon

sunlight%

The children had &een sent to &ed$ and .lla soon followed$ though it was not yet ten

o)clock% To gratify her assionate curiosity she now made her rearations$ first getting rid of

suerfluous garments and utting on her dressing-gown$ then arranging a chair in front of

the ta&le and reading several ages of Trewe)s tenderest utterances% 1e#t she fetched the

ortrait-frame to the light$ oened the &ack$ took out the likeness$ and set it u &efore her%

It was a striking countenance to look uon% The oet wore a lu#uriant &lack moustache and

imerial$ and a slouched hat which shaded the forehead% The large dark eyes descri&ed &y

the landlady showed an unlimited caacity for misery$ they looked out from &eneath well-

shaed &rows as if they were reading the universe in the microcosm of the confronter)s face$

and were not altogether over/oyed at what the sectacle ortended%

.lla murmured in her lowest$ richest$ tenderest tone: 'And it)s you who)ve so cruelly

eclised me these many times*'

As she ga6ed long at the ortrait she fell into thought$ till her eyes filled with tears$ and

she touched the card&oard with her lis% Then she laughed with a nervous lightness$ and

wied her eyes%

!he thought how wicked she was$ a woman having a hus&and and three children$ to let

her mind stray to a stranger in this unconsciona&le manner% 1o$ he was not a stranger* !heknew his thoughts and feelings as well as she knew her own they were$ in fact$ the self-



same thoughts and feelings as hers$ which her hus&and distinctly lacked erhas luckily for

himself$ considering that he had to rovide for family e#enses%

'He)s nearer my real self$ he)s more intimate with the real me than Will is$ after all$ even

though I)ve never seen him$' she said%

!he laid his &ook and icture on the ta&le at the &edside$ and when she was reclining on

the illow she re-read those of 5o&ert Trewe)s verses which she had marked from time to

time as most touching and true% 2utting these aside she set u the hotograh on its edge

uon the coverlet$ and contemlated it as she lay% Then she scanned again &y the light of

the candle the half-o&literated encillings on the wallaer &eside her head% There they were

- hrases$ coulets$ &outs-rimes$ &eginnings and middles of lines$ ideas in the rough$ like

!helley)s scras$ and the least of them so intense$ so sweet$ so alitating$ that it seemedas if his very &reath$ warm and loving$ fanned her cheeks from those walls$ walls that had

surrounded his head times and times as they surrounded her own now% He must often have

ut u his hand so - with the encil in it% +es$ the writing was sideways$ as it would &e if

e#ecuted &y one who e#tended his arm thus%

These inscri&ed shaes of the oet)s world$ '8orms more real than living man$ 1urslings

of immortality$' were$ no dou&t$ the thoughts and sirit-strivings which had come to him in

the dead of night$ when he could let himself go and have no fear of the frost of criticism% 1o

dou&t they had often &een written u hastily &y the light of the moon$ the rays of the lam$ inthe &lue-grey dawn$ in full daylight erhas never% And now her hair was dragging where his

arm had lain when he secured the fugitive fancies she was sleeing on a oet)s lis$

immersed in the very essence of him$ ermeated &y his sirit as &y an ether%

While she was dreaming the minutes away thus$ a footste came uon the stairs$ and in

a moment she heard her hus&and)s heavy ste on the landing immediately without%

'.ll$ where are you,'

What ossessed her she could not have descri&ed$ &ut$ with an instinctive o&/ection to let

her hus&and know what she had &een doing$ she slied the hotograh under the illow

/ust as he flung oen the door with the air of a man who had dined not &adly%

'3$ I &eg ardon$' said William Marchmill% 'Have you a headache, I am afraid I have

distur&ed you%'



'1o$ I)ve not got a headache$' said she% 'How is it you)ve come,'

'Well$ we found we could get &ack in very good time after all$ and I didn)t want to make

another day of it$ &ecause of going somewhere else tomorrow%'

'!hall I come down again,'

'3$ no% I)m as tired as a dog% I)ve had a good feed$ and I shall turn in straight off% I want to

get out at si# o)clock tomorrow if I can % % % % I shan)t distur& you &y my getting u it will &e

long &efore you are awake%' And he came forward into the room%

While her eyes followed his movements$ .lla softly ushed the hotograh further out of

sight%

'!ure you)re not ill,' he asked$ &ending over her%

'1o$ only wicked*'

'1ever mind that%' And he stooed and kissed her% 'I wanted to &e with you tonight%'

1e#t morning Marchmill was called at si# o)clock and in waking and yawning he heard

him muttering to himself% 'What the deuce is this that)s &een crackling under me so,'

Imagining her aslee he searched round him and withdrew something% Through her half-

oened eyes she erceived it to &e Mr% Trewe%

'Well$ I)m damned*' her hus&and e#claimed%

'What$ dear,' said she%

'3$ you are awake, Ha* ha*'



'What do you mean,'

'!ome &loke)s hotograh - a friend of our landlady)s$ I suose% I wonder how it came

here whisked off the manteliece &y accident erhas when they were making the &ed%'

'I was looking at it yesterday$ and it must have droed in then%'

'3$ he)s a friend of yours, Bless his icturesque heart*'

.lla)s loyalty to the o&/ect of her admiration could not endure to hear him ridiculed% 'He)s

a clever man*' she said$ with a tremor in her gentle voice which she herself felt to &e

a&surdly uncalled for% 'He is a rising oet - the gentleman who occuied two of these rooms

&efore we came$ though I)ve never seen him%'

'How do you know$ if you)ve never seen him,'

'Mrs% Hooer told me when she showed me the hotograh%'

'3$ well$ I must u and &e off% I shall &e home rather early% !orry I can)t take you today

dear% Mind the children don)t go getting drowned%'

That day Mrs% Marchmill inquired if Mr% Trewe were likely to call at any other time%

'+es$' said Mrs% Hooer% 'He)s coming this day week to stay with a friend near here till

you leave% He)ll &e sure to call%'

Marchmill did return quite early in the afternoon and$ oening some letters which had

arrived in his a&sence$ declared suddenly that he and his family would have to leave a week

earlier than they had e#ected to do - in short$ in three days%

'!urely we can stay a week longer,' she leaded% 'I like it here%'



'I don)t% It is getting rather slow%'

'Then you might leave me and the children*'

'How erverse you are$ .ll* What)s the use, And have to come to fetch you* 1o: we)ll all

return together and we)ll make out our time in 1orth Wales or Brighton a little later on%

Besides$ you)ve three days longer yet%'

It seemed to &e her doom not to meet the man for whose rival talent she had a desairing

admiration$ and to whose erson she was now a&solutely attached% +et she determined tomake a last effort and having gathered from her landlady that Trewe was living in a lonely

sot not far from the fashiona&le town on the Island oosite$ she crossed over in the acket

from the neigh&ouring ier the following afternoon%

What a useless /ourney it was* .lla knew &ut vaguely where the house stood$ and when

she fancied she had found it$ and ventured to inquire of a edestrian if he lived there$ the

answer returned &y the man was that he did not know% And if he did live there$ how could

she call uon him, !ome women might have the assurance to do it$ &ut she had not% How

cra6y he would think her% !he might have asked him to call uon her$ erhas &ut she hadnot the courage for that$ either% !he lingered mournfully a&out the icturesque seaside

eminence till it was time to return to the town and enter the steamer for recrossing$ reaching

home for dinner without having &een greatly missed%

At the last moment$ une#ectedly enough$ her hus&and said that he should have no

o&/ection to letting her and the children stay on till the end of the week$ since she wished to

do so$ if she felt herself a&le to get home without him% !he concealed the leasure this

e#tension of time gave her and Marchmill went off the ne#t morning alone%

But the week assed$ and Trewe did not call%

3n !aturday morning the remaining mem&ers of the Marchmill family dearted from the

lace which had &een roductive of so much fervour in her% The dreary$ dreary train the sun

shining in moted &eams uon the hot cushions the dusty ermanent way the mean rows of

wire - these things were her accomaniment: while out of the window the dee &lue sea-

levels disaeared from her ga6e$ and with them her oet)s home% Heavy-hearted$ she tried

to read$ and wet instead%



Mr% Marchmill was in a thriving way of &usiness$ and he and his family lived in a large

new house$ which stood in rather e#tensive grounds a few miles outside the midland city

wherein he carried on his trade% .lla)s life was lonely here$ as the su&ur&an life is at to &e$

articularly at certain seasons and she had amle time to indulge her taste for lyric andelegiac comosition% !he had hardly got &ack when she encountered a iece &y 5o&ert

Trewe in the new num&er of her favourite maga6ine$ which must have &een written almost

immediately &efore her visit to !olentsea$ for it contained the very coulet she had seen

encilled on the wallaer &y the &ed$ and Mrs% Hooer had declared to &e recent% .lla could

resist no longer$ &ut sei6ing a en imulsively$ wrote to him as a &rother-oet$ using the

name of (ohn Ivy$ congratulating him in her letter on his triumhant e#ecutions in meter and

rhythm of thoughts that moved his soul$ as comared with her own &row-&eaten efforts in the

same athetic trade%

To this address there came a resonse in a few days$ little as she had dared to hoe for it

- a civil and &rief note$ in which the young oet stated that$ though he was not well

acquainted with Mr% Ivy)s verse$ he recalled the name as &eing one he had seen attached to

some very romising ieces that he was glad to gain Mr% Ivy)s acquaintance &y letter$ and

should certainly look with much interest for his roductions in the future%

There must have &een something /uvenile or timid in her own eistle$ as one ostensi&ly

coming from a man$ she declared to herself for Trewe quite adoted the tone of an elder

and suerior in this rely% But what did it matter, He had relied he had written to her withhis own hand from that very room she knew so well$ for he was now &ack again in his

quarters%

The corresondence thus &egun was continued for two months or more$ .lla Marchmill

sending him from time to time some that she considered to &e the &est her ieces$ which he

very kindly acceted$ though he did not say he sedulously read them$ nor did he send her

any of his own in return% .lla would have &een more hurt at this than she was if she had not

known that Trewe la&oured under the imression that she was one of his own se#%

+et the situation was unsatisfactory% A flattering little voice told her that$ were he only to

see her$ matters would &e otherwise% 1o dou&t she would have heled on this &y making a

frank confession of womanhood$ to &egin with$ if something had not aeared$ to her delight$

to render it unnecessary% A friend of her hus&and)s$ the editor of the most imortant

newsaer in their city and county$ who was dining with them one day$ o&served during their

conversation a&out the oet that his the editor)s; &rother the landscae-ainter was a friend

of Mr% Trewe)s$ and that the two men were at that very moment in Wales together%



.lla was slightly acquainted with the editor)s &rother% The ne#t morning down she sat and

wrote$ inviting him to stay at her house for a short time on his way &ack$ and to &ring with

him$ if ractica&le$ his comanion Mr% Trewe$ whose acquaintance she was an#ious to make%

The answer arrived after some few days% Her corresondent and his friend Trewe would

have much satisfaction in acceting her invitation on their way southward$ which would &e

on such and such a day in the following week%

.lla was &lithe and &uoyant% Her scheme had succeeded her &eloved though as yet

unseen was coming% 'Behold$ he standeth &ehind our wall he looked forth at the windows$

showing himself through the lattice$' she thought ecstatically% 'And$ lo$ the winter is ast$ the

rain is over and gone$ the flowers aear on the earth$ the time of the singing of &irds is

come$ and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land%'

But it was necessary to consider the details of lodging and feeding him% This she did most

solicitously$ and awaited the regnant day and hour%

It was a&out five in the afternoon when she heard a ring at the door and the editor)s

&rother)s voice in the hall% 2oetess as she was$ or as she thought herself$ she had not &een

too su&lime that day to dress with infinite trou&le in a fashiona&le ro&e of rich material$

having a faint resem&lance to the chiton of the 9reeks$ a style /ust then in vogue among

ladies of an artistic and romantic turn$ which had &een o&tained &y .lla of her Bond !treet

dressmaker when she was last in 7ondon% Her visitor entered the drawing room% !he lookedtoward his rear no&ody else came through the door% Where$ in the name of the 9od of 7ove$

was 5o&ert Trewe,

'3$ I)m sorry$' said the ainter$ after their introductory words had &een soken% 'Trewe is

a curious fellow$ you know$ Mrs% Marchmill% He said he)d come then he said he couldn)t%

He)s rather dusty% We)ve &een doing a few miles with knasacks$ you know and he wanted

to get on home%'

'He - he)s not coming,'

'He)s not and he asked me to make his aologies%'

'When did you --art from him,' she asked$ her nether li starting off quivering so

much that it was like a tremolo-sto oened in her seech% !he longed to run away from this

dreadful &ore and cry her eyes out%



'(ust now$ in the turnike road yonder there%'

'What* he has actually gone ast my gates,'

'+es% When we got to them - handsome gates they are$ too$ the finest &it of modern

wrought-iron work I have seen - when we came to them we stoed$ talking there a little

while$ and then he wished me good&ye and went on% The truth is$ he)s a little &it deressed

/ust now$ and doesn)t want to see any&ody% He)s a very good fellow$ and a warm friend$ &ut a

little uncertain and gloomy sometimes he thinks too much of things% His oetry is rather too

erotic and assionate$ you know$ for some tastes and he has /ust come in for a terri&le

slating from the ---- 5eview that was u&lished yesterday he saw a coy of it at the station

&y accident% 2erhas you)ve read it,'

'1o%'

'!o much the &etter% 3$ it is not worth thinking of /ust one of those articles written to

order$ to lease the narrow-minded set of su&scri&ers uon whom the circulation deends%

But he)s uset &y it% He says it is the misreresentation that hurts him so that$ though he

can stand a fair attack$ he can)t stand lies that he)s owerless to refute and sto fromsreading% That)s /ust Trewe)s weak oint% He lives so much &y himself that these things

affect him much more than they would if he were in the &ustle of fashiona&le or commercial

life% !o he wouldn)t come here$ making the e#cuse that it all looked so new and monied - if

you)ll ardon -- '

'But - he must have known - there was symathy here* Has he never said anything a&out

getting letters from this address,'

'+es$ yes$ he has$ from (ohn Ivy - erhas a relative of yours$ he thought$ visiting here at

the time,'

'4id he - like Ivy$ did he say,'

'Well$ I don)t know that he took any great interest in Ivy%'



'3r in his oems,'

'3r in his oems - so far as I know$ that is%'

5o&ert Trewe took no interest in her house$ in her oems$ or in their writer% As soon as

she could get away she went into the nursery and tried to let off her emotion &y

unnecessarily kissing the children$ till she had a sudden sense of disgust at &eing reminded

how lain-looking they were$ like their father%

The o&tuse and single-minded landscae-ainter never once erceived from her

conversation that it was only Trewe she wanted$ and not himself% He made the &est of his

visit$ seeming to en/oy the society of .lla)s hus&and$ who also took a great fancy to him$ andshowed him everywhere a&out the neigh&ourhood$ neither of them noticing .lla)s mood%

The ainter had &een gone only a day or two when$ while sitting ustairs alone one

morning$ she glanced over the 7ondon aer /ust arrived$ and read the following

aragrah:--

'!"I0I4. 38 A 23.T - Mr% 5o&ert Trewe$ who has &een favoura&ly known for some

years as one of our rising lyrists$ committed suicide at his lodgings at !olentsea on !aturday

evening last &y shooting himself in the right temle with a revolver% 5eaders hardly need to

&e reminded that Mr% Trewe recently attracted the attention of a much wider u&lic than had

hitherto known him$ &y his new volume of verse$ mostly of an imassioned kind$ entitled

)7yrics to a Woman "nknown$) which has &een already favoura&ly noticed in these ages for

the e#traordinary gamut of feeling it traverses$ and which has &een made the su&/ect of a

severe$ if not ferocious$ criticism in the ---- 5eview% It is suosed$ though not certainly

known$ that the article may have artially conduced to the sad act$ as a coy of the review in

question was found on his writing-ta&le and he has &een o&served to &e in a somewhat

deressed state of mind since the critique aeared%'

Then came the reort of the inquest$ at which the following letter was read$ it having &een

addressed to a friend at a distance: --

'4ear ---- $ Before these lines reach your hands I shall &e delivered from the

inconveniences of seeing$ hearing$ and knowing more of the things around me% I will not

trou&le you &y giving my reasons for the ste I have taken$ though I can assure you they

were sound and logical% 2erhas had I &een &lessed with a mother$ or a sister$ or a femalefriend of another sort tenderly devoted to me$ I might have thought it worthwhile to continue



my resent e#istence% I have long dreamt of such an unattaina&le creature$ as you know

and she$ this undiscovera&le$ elusive one$ insired my last volume the imaginary woman

alone$ for$ in site of what has &een said in some quarters$ there is no real woman &ehind

the title% !he has continued to the last unrevealed$ unmet$ unwon% I think it desira&le to

mention this in order that no &lame may attach to any real woman as having &een the cause

of my decease &y cruel or cavalier treatment of me% Tell my landlady that I am sorry to havecaused her this unleasantness &ut my occuancy of the rooms will soon &e forgotten%

There are amle funds in my name at the &ank to ay all e#enses% 5% T5.W.%'

.lla sat for a while as if stunned$ then rushed into the ad/oining cham&er and flung herself

uon her face on the &ed%

Her grief and distraction shook her to ieces and she lay in this fren6y of sorrow for morethan an hour% Broken words came every now and then from her quivering lis: '3$ if he had

only known of me - known of me - me* % % % 3$ if I had only once met him - only once and ut

my hand uon his hot forehead - kissed him - let him know how I loved him - that I would

have suffered shame and scorn$ would have lived and died$ for him* 2erhas it would have

saved his dear life* % % % But no - it was not allowed* 9od is a /ealous 9od and that hainess

was not for him and me*'

All ossi&ilities were over the meeting was stultified% +et it was almost visi&le to her in

her fantasy even now$ though it could never &e su&stantiated - 'The hour which might have&een$ yet might not &e$ Which man)s and woman)s heart conceived and &ore$ +et whereof

life was &arren%'

!he wrote to the landlady at !olentsea in the third erson$ in as su&dued a style as she

could command$ enclosing a ostal order for a sovereign$ and informing Mrs% Hooer that

Mrs% Marchmill had seen in the aers the sad account of the oet)s death$ and having &een$

as Mrs% Hooer was aware$ much interested in Mr% Trewe during her stay at 0o&urg House$

she would &e o&liged if Mrs% Hooer could o&tain a small ortion of his hair &efore his coffin

was closed down$ and send it her as a memorial of him$ as also the hotograh that was inthe frame%

By the return-ost a letter arrived containing what had &een requested% .lla wet over the

ortrait and secured it in her rivate drawer the lock of hair she tied with white ri&&on and

ut in her &osom$ whence she drew it and kissed it every now and then in some uno&served

nook%



'What)s the matter,' said her hus&and$ looking u from his newsaer on one of these

occasions% '0rying over something, A lock of hair, Whose is it,'

'He)s dead*' she murmured%

'Who,'

'I don)t want to tell you$ Will$ /ust now$ unless you insist*' she said$ a so& hanging heavy

in her voice%

'3$ all right%'

'4o you mind my refusing, I will tell you someday%'

'It doesn)t matter in the least$ of course%'

He walked away whistling a few &ars of no tune in articular and when he had got down

to his factory in the city the su&/ect came into Marchmill)s head again%

He$ too$ was aware that a suicide had taken lace recently at the house they had

occuied at !olentsea% Having seen the volume of oems in his wife)s hand of late$ and

heard fragments of the landlady)s conversation a&out Trewe when they were her tenants$ he

all at once said to himself$ 'Why of course it)s he* How the devil did she get to know him,

What sly animals women are*'

Then he lacidly dismissed the matter$ and went on with his daily affairs% By this time .lla

at home had come to a determination% Mrs% Hooer$ in sending the hair and hotograh$ had

informed her of the day of the funeral and as the morning and noon wore on an

overowering wish to know where they were laying him took ossession of the symathetic

woman% 0aring very little now what her hus&and or any one else might think of her

eccentricities$ she wrote Marchmill a &rief note$ stating that she was called away for the

afternoon and evening$ &ut would return on the following morning% This she left on his desk$

and having given the same information to the servants$ went out of the house on foot%



When Mr% Marchmill reached home early in the afternoon the servants looked an#ious%

The nurse took him rivately aside$ and hinted that her mistress)s sadness during the ast

few days had &een such that she feared she had gone out to drown herself% Marchmill

reflected% "on the whole he thought that she had not done that% Without saying whither he

was &ound he also started off$ telling them not to sit u for him% He drove to the railway-

station$ and took a ticket for !olentsea%

It was dark when he reached the lace$ though he had come &y a fast train$ and he knew

that if his wife had receded him thither it could only have &een &y a slower train$ arriving not

a great while &efore his own% The season at !olentsea was now ast: the arade was

gloomy$ and the flys were few and chea% He asked the way to the 0emetery$ and soon

reached it% The gate was locked$ &ut the keeer let him in$ declaring$ however$ that there

was no&ody within the recincts% Although it was not late$ the autumnal darkness had now

&ecome intense and he found some difficulty in keeing to the serentine ath which led to

the quarter where$ as the man had told him$ the one or two interments for the day had taken

lace% He steed uon the grass$ and$ stum&ling over some egs$ stooed now and then to

discern if ossi&le a figure against the sky% He could see none &ut lighting on a sot where

the soil was trodden$ &eheld a crouching o&/ect &eside a newly made grave% !he heard him$

and srang u%

'.ll$ how silly this is*' he said indignantly% '5unning away from home - I never heard such

a thing* 3f course I am not /ealous of this unfortunate man &ut it is too ridiculous that you$ a

married woman with three children and a fourth coming$ should go losing your head like this

over a dead lover* % % % 4o you know you were locked in, +ou might not have &een a&le to

get out all night%'

!he did not answer%

'I hoe it didn)t go far &etween you and him$ for your own sake%'

'4on)t insult me$ Will%'

'Mind$ I won)t have anymore of this sort of thing do you hear,'

'<ery well$' she said%



He drew her arm within his own$ and conducted her out of the 0emetery% It was

imossi&le to get &ack that night and not wishing to &e recognised in their resent sorry

condition he took her to a misera&le little coffee-house close to the station$ whence they

dearted early in the morning$ travelling almost without seaking$ under the sense that it was

one of those dreary situations occurring in married life which words could not mend$ and

reaching their own door at noon%

The months assed$ and neither of the twain ever ventured to start a conversation uon

this eisode% .lla seemed to &e only too frequently in a sad and listless mood$ which might

almost have &een called ining% The time was aroaching when she would have to undergo

the stress of child&irth for a fourth time$ and that aarently did not tend to raise her sirits%

'I don)t think I shall get over it this time*' she said one day%

'2ooh* what childish fore&oding* Why shouldn)t it &e as well now as ever,'

!he shook her head% 'I feel almost sure I am going to die and I should &e glad$ if it were

not for 1elly$ and 8rank$ and Tiny%'

'And me*'

'+ou)ll soon find some&ody to fill my lace$' she murmured$ with a sad smile% 'And you)ll

have a erfect right to I assure you of that%'

'.ll$ you are not thinking still a&out that - oetical friend of yours,'

!he neither admitted nor denied the charge% 'I am not going to get over my illness this

time$' she reiterated% '!omething tells me I shan)t%'

This view of things was rather a &ad &eginning$ as it usually is and$ in fact$ si# weeks

later$ in the month of May$ she was lying in her room$ ulseless and &loodless$ with hardly

strength enough left to follow u one fee&le &reath with another$ the infant for whose

unnecessary life she was slowly arting with her own &eing fat and well% (ust &efore her

death she soke to Marchmill softly: --



'Will$ I want to confess to you the entire circumstances of that - a&out you know what -

that time we visited !olentsea% I can)t tell what ossessed me - how I could forget you so$ my

hus&and* But I had got into a mor&id state: I thought you had &een unkind that you had

neglected me that you weren)t u to my intellectual level$ while he was$ and far a&ove it% I

wanted a fuller areciator$ erhas$ rather than another lover--'

!he could get no further then for very e#haustion and she went off in sudden collase a

few hours later$ without having said anything more to her hus&and on the su&/ect of her love

for the oet% William Marchmill$ in truth$ like most hus&ands of several years) standing$ was

little distur&ed &y retrosective /ealousies$ and had not shown the least an#iety to ress her

for confessions concerning a man dead and gone &eyond any ower of inconveniencing him

more%

But when she had &een &uried a coule of years it chanced one day that$ in turning over

some forgotten aers that he wished to destroy &efore his second wife entered the house$

he lighted on a lock of hair in an enveloe$ with the hotograh of the deceased oet$ a date

&eing written on the &ack in his late wife)s hand% It was that of the time they sent at

!olentsea%

Marchmill looked long and musingly at the hair and ortrait$ for something struck him%

8etching the little &oy who had &een the death of his mother$ now a noisy toddler$ he took

him on his knee$ held the lock of hair against the child)s head$ and set u the hotograh onthe ta&le &ehind$ so that he could closely comare the features each countenance

resented% By a known &ut ine#lica&le trick of 1ature there were undou&tedly strong traces

of resem&lance to the man .lla had never seen the dreamy and eculiar e#ression of the

oet)s face sat$ as the transmitted idea$ uon the child)s$ and the hair was of the same hue%

'I)m damned if I didn)t think so*' murmured Marchmill% 'Then she did lay me false with

that fellow at the lodgings* 7et me see: the dates - the second week in August % % % the third

week in May% % % % +es % % % yes% % % % 9et away$ you oor little &rat* +ou are nothing to me*'

an imaginative woman

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