annoying things women do

7/30/2019 Annoying Things Women Do

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Annoying things women do

1. Indecision

Yes ladies, we love how good you look when you’re all made up and working it for all it’s worth

(plus that little bit extra). What we don’t love is the 3+ hours it takes for you to try on 15 outfitsthat all look pretty much the same to us.

And this indecisiveness doesn’t stop at just clothing. Once we do suffer through the ordeal that is

“getting ready”, we then have to starve in silence while you read every word of the menu intriplicate, an injustice that wouldn’t be nearly so galling if you weren’t going to order the same

thing you always do.

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2. “Nothing is wrong”

No sentence in the history of mankind has ever conveyed so much meaning without actually

communicating any useful information.

When you bring out this old gem (and we know you keep it in the back pocket of all 12 pairs of

your jeans) here is exactly what you’re telling us:A) Something is definitely wrong.

B) The chances of you telling us what is wrong are zero.

C) We are now in immeasurably more trouble for not instinctively knowing what was wrong inthe first place.

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3. Crying

Yet another weapon in the female arsenal that sits at the top of the deck for easy access. Don’t

misunderstand us, we love that you’re not cold, emotionless automatons like our mates. But the

myriad reasons that set off your waterworks are, frankly, baffling.

At birth, guys have two reasons to cry: we’ve hurt ourselves or we’re incredibly sad. At about

the age of 12, one of those reasons disappears, so don’t hold it against us that we’re confusedwhen you bust out a fresh Kleenex box every time you’re happy/upset/nostalgic/out of ice-cream

or it's it’s cold outside.

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4. “The sexiest thing about a guy is his sense of humour.”

Really? Is that why you’re dating that humourless (albeit ruggedly handsome) jerk with the

convertible?

Let’s be clear, guys have endured way worse in pursuit of landing a girl we think is out of our league, but at least we’re honest about the importance we place on looks.

5. Pillows on the bed

Ask any guy how many pillows are necessary on a bed and his answer will invariably range between two and four. That’s about right, isn’t it? Wrong. Men falsely assume that their bed is

for sleeping, when in fact you actually pay all that money for the chiropractic-designed, lumbar-

supporting model to pile every inch of it with fluffy pillows.

After polling several women on this subject, I’m yet to get a straight answer as to what purpose

they serve, but it’s hardly the first time a woman taken up more space than she needs.



6. Talking too much

Back in 2006, the founder and director of the University of California’s Women’s Mood and

Hormone Clinic, Louann Brizendine, published her book The Female Brain, which claimed that

women speak nearly three times as much as men (20,000 words a day compared with men’s7000). The study was widely discredited a year later, but it does call to mind that somewhat less

contentious claim that married men live longer than single men (or does it just seem longer?).

In any case, ladies, just because you can happily natter for hours on end with your girlfriends

doesn’t mean our comparatively stoic silence is a sign of emotional distance. And under no

circumstance should the phrase “What are you thinking?” pass your lips.

Equally, gentlemen, if this forbidden question is uttered, your response should never be “If I

wanted you to know, I would be talking, not thinking”, for reasons that should be abundantly

clear.

7. And speaking of those friends of yours . . .Let me preface this by acknowledging that there are plenty of double standards out there in

which women get the short end of the stick: the glass ceiling, sexual promiscuity, ageing, and

weight gain to name a few. But when it comes to sharing intimate details about your love lifewith friends, the discrepancy between the sexes is astronomical.

It’s true, men don’t go into much detail on their sex lives, mostly because they don’t want their



pervert mates thinking about their partner in that way for too long. But just once, it’d be nice to

meet one of your friends without the thought in the back of our minds that this woman knows

every intimate detail of our sex life.

Annoying female habit 1: Making an anniversary out of everything

What is it with women turning the nice little things in life into a grand gift-exchanging,champagne-popping ceremony? We return home from a normal day at work to be met with a

candle-lit dinner and an expensive looking gift but, quite frankly, it makes our heart stop. Have

you done something wrong? Is it your birthday? My birthday? Oh silly me, it’s the anniversaryof the first time we looked at each other. Please refrain from doing this, ladies. We have a hard

enough time getting event dates right without being shouted at for not buying the dog a card to

celebrate the anniversary of his first vaccination.

Annoying female habit 2: Piling the bed with cushions

One would be mistaken for thinking that a bed is for sleeping in. We go to get our head down for

the night, only to find the bed piled sky-high with strategically placed cushions that leave noroom for us. What’s more, only a couple of these cushions actually have a purpose. We don’t

need the tiny heart-shaped one or the big fluffy one that makes us sneeze – just a normal pillow

to rest our head on will suffice. We don’t adorn the bed with DIY tools and model cars, so please

tame your OCD (Obsessive Cushion Disorder) and stop making an elaborate display out of our bed so we can get down to the important stuff.

Annoying female habit 3: Asking us what we’re thinking

It’s a classic example of how women like to test us, and possibly trick us into making the

cardinal sin of admitting that we weren’t thinking about her at that particular moment. One

minute we’re enjoying a cuddle, the next they’re hurling that question at us when we’re least

expecting it. They say it so fast that we don’t have chance to make up a false reply or even tothink straight, which leads us to stutter and then be accused of thinking of our ex. Asking what

we’re thinking is basically a nice way of saying ‘you aren’t allowed to have private thoughts,

unless they’re about me’.

Annoying female habit 4: Saying ‘I’m fine’, when you’re not happy

So she stood in front of the television while the football was on, we got a bit iffy and snapped,

and now all sorts of issues have been bought up. Then she says it – that passive-aggressivestatement that marks the start of the dreaded silent treatment: “I’m fine”. Erm, are you really fine

because you’ve just screamed at us until you’ve gone red in the face, and now you’re laying face

down on the bed crying. If you’re unhappy just outline the problem and then we can sort it outand carry on as normal. Or – even better – don’t outline the problem and let us watch the football

in peace.



Annoying female habit 5: Using sex as a weapon

One of the most annoying things that a woman can do is deny her man of sexual privileges.Some women seem to take great pleasure in using our weakness to their own advantage through

the classic ‘if you don’t do this, we’re not having sex’ scenario. If you’re going to stop us from

doing one thing, please don’t let it be sex. We don’t stop you from eating and drinking, so pleasedon’t mess with our basic human needs either.

Annoying female habit 6: Being over-emotional

You cry at funerals, you cry at weddings, you cry at happy films, you cry at sad films. Thismakes us feel awkward because we just don’t know what to say or do when you’re sat sobbing

all over our freshly ironed shirt. Where do all these tears come from? We think women should

just have an annual crying day where they get together and cry for twenty four hours, beforecoming home and being normal for the other 364 days of the year. It would solve a lot of our

problems.

Annoying female habit 7: Incessant talking

We’ve heard that women are estimated to say around 20, 000 words a day – which

is an awful lot compared to the paltry 7, 000 estimated for men – so we understand

that she needs to get her daily nattering fix, but why is it always at the most

inappropriate times? She was quiet all the way through the family dinner when we

needed her to break the awkward silence, but as soon as we start getting to the

competitive part of a multi-player game with our friends, she just won’t shut up

about how cute the neighbour’s cat looks when it sits next to the rose bush. To

make it even more annoying, the actual part of the story she was getting at whilst

rambling on about the neighbour’s cat, was that the cat’s owner now works at thegrocery store down the road. Ladies, if you’re going to talk, pick the right moment

and please, just get to the point.

When some women talk to their husbands, and they need to tell them something important, theytake a while. Some others are quick to the point. Those that are not quick to it can translate their

message into 5,000,000,000 lines of text with the most important part being at line

4,999,999,999.

This is why husbands eyes glaze over.

Your describing my mom. I call it circling the airport. My sister has inherited that trait. Now that

mom is gone we have a standing joke, when my sis starts circling Ill say land the plane

Emogene!



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