MONDAY 25 MAY 2020

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Class War Daily’s political sketch writer stays awake all day to assess the Sunday politics programmes and THAT car crash briefing by Boris Johnson. On Saturday night it became apparent that the Sunday politics shows would be full of questions regarding the Goblin of Downing Street, Dominic Cummings, and his lockdown breakout farewell tour to Durham. Some poor minister would have to do the TV circuit defending the indefensible. Some poor minister would have to do the press briefing in the evening.

In case you haven’t kept up to date the basic story is that while we were all in lockdown and keeping ourselves to ourselves, Cummings decided to shoot up to Durham (perhaps more than once) to sped time at a second home. Other prominent government people have resigned for the same reason so the simple questions started with the assumption that Cummings might have to abode by the same rules as those people. It turned out that No10 didn’t think he should abide by the same rules as any of us.

The morning’s sacrificial turd was transport minister, Grant Shapps, who spent most of the morning appealing with interviewers to ask him questions about the A66, which ironically happens to go through County Durham. All he wanted to do was spend his Sunday talking about his favourite roads and playing with his Tonka Toy buses and trains and yet here he was having to lie on telly.

Sophie Ridge on Sky managed to say sarcastically but with a straight face “I’m sure you’re disappointed not to be talking about the A66” before launching into an attack around Shapp’s total lack of briefing on the Cummings and goings. It quickly became apparent that either Shapps hadn’t been briefed by No10 at all or else he’d been briefed to just say that Cummings had done the right thing.

Which was odd because by the time we got the briefing at 5pm we learned that the prime minister had concluded that Cummings had behaved correctly after many hours of discussion with him, discussion which could only have taken place after Shapps had been on TV. So, if the PM was telling the truth then Shapps must have been toadying by pure instinct alone (probably not too difficult after years in the Tory Party).

Shapps tried to do the same performance on Marr an hour later but this time was confronted by what the actual government guidance said about staying at home, which was basically “stay the fuck at home”. There was also the uncomfortable moment where Shapps said that the police had not spoken to Cummings or family about him being there but Marr had a police statement where the cops claimed they had. Nowhere could anyone find a clause in the guidance saying travel 260 miles and then self-isolate if you have symptoms.

In the afternoon, it was announced that Boris Johnson would head the press briefing and this was pushed back from 4 to 5pm. The minister scheduled to take part, the walking Tory haircut Robert Jenrick, must have been so relieved, if he hadn’t already rung in sick.

Johnson emerged and walked to the lectern, a man hell bent on saying fuck all that would answer any of the questions that had built up during the day. Cummings had done the right thing by traveling around the country potentially spreading the virus. Meanwhile the British public must have misunderstood the rules totally by staying home, protecting the NHS and saving lives. Where on earth could we have got that from? The PM didn’t explicitly say that he thinks

we’re all fucking idiots but only because that was obvious.The journalists didn’t get any answers. Shortly after the briefing the person in charge of the civil service twitter account wrote “arrogant and offensive. Can you imagine having to work with these truth twisters?” And that little bit of honesty from the heart of government summed up a rather surreal day in which Grant Shapps just wanted to talk about transport in general and instead the whole political scene discussed the transport of one man and his family.

cummings And

goings

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letter to the editor...Dear members of the Public, let’s be clear, this is how Power works. Not only in this lockdown situation -but in any situation at any time. The laws and rules the Elite make are only applicable to the mugs at the bottom of society, -Us.

This issue isn’t about a scummy pal of Johnson’s breaking a “rule”, it’s an illustration of how the elites who run the Capitalist system operate on a daily basis. In other words, they treat us with the utmost contempt, and it’s time we returned the favour. And please don’t be mislead into “demanding an inquiry” as a Labour MP said tonight, instead let’s demand their heads on pikestaffs.

Signed, A well wisher.